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Im starting to hate this industry

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This would all go away if the powers that be would've legalized everything and everyone when they changed the laws, in the first place SP's and clients could make their own choices. There would be no stigma's or legal ramifications for the client to report the ripoff. SW's could operate openly as they do in other countries. Traffickers etc. would go the way of the Marijuana, Bootleggers, have with lifting of prohibition and legalization of weed. Why do we look at Europe with its Red Light Districts with a sense of 'its OK' and yet we have a system here that allows for nefarious characters to profit of those who are part of the world's oldest profession. There needs to be change that protects all (SP's and Clients). While SP's have to advertise in 'offshore sites' at great expense to get the word out. This leaves everyone ripe for the picking. SP's have to trust what comes to and through the door based on a couple of texts and are vulnerable to who knows what. If things were different established SP - Client relationships would be easier and stabilize the life of the SP (no getting evicted or outed from apartments, hotels etc) the SP would have the right to carry on their work in a particular location as long as there was agreement with the landlord / facility. Many Hotels are looking the other way now and taking the money and a see no evil approach however if something happens the SP is out in a snowbank. ...... Time for the craziness to stop!

Edited by hardydardy
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4 minutes ago, hardydardy said:

This would all go away if the powers that be would've legalized everything

Agreed... well maybe not everything... legality wouldn't necessarily remove all the costs associated with social stigma, protect us from 'moral crusaders,' and "outing" would still be an issue, but it would remove a whole host of issues that other businesses don't have to deal with. So in short yeah, count me in for "team legalization." :-).

Unfortunately, the very folks that would still crusade even if it was legal, are the same folks that fight efforts to legalize it.

I don't pretend to understand why some feel it is their business to police (figuratively and literally 🙂) others' private, consensual behaviour... that said, I acknowledge they exist. I suspect more media portrayals of empowered SW would help... not sure... wonder if others have thoughts on what are the concrete steps that change minds widely enough... and what the current face of SW activism looks like these days.

 

-cbs

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On 2/20/2022 at 1:58 AM, Quietfun said:

.. i am just getting over trying to have faith in SP's .. trying to find a regular is a fucking nightmare fulm of scams and rude ass women

I can definitely see how it may be frustrating for you. And yet, I can't help but think of everything clients have put me through as well.

Name calling, threats, no shows, low ballers, sending me to the wrong address for kicks, even had a client break my door and steal my money after I saw him.

The misogyny, disregard and disrespect I encounter every day is sickening. My point: it goes both ways.

 

 

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2 hours ago, SweetLips said:

Name calling, threats, no shows, low ballers, sending me to the wrong address for kicks, even had a client break my door and steal my money after I saw him.

The misogyny, disregard and disrespect I encounter every day is sickening. My point: it goes both ways.

I'm sorry you and the other SPs deal with this... it's not fair and you shouldn't have that stress in your life.

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15 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I'm sorry you and the other SPs deal with this... it's not fair and you shouldn't have that stress in your life.

Right ... everyone seems to forget all of the added bs we have to go through trying to provide a service(it isn't always a walk in the park for us as well...especially when our safety is not taken serious)

I just seen a gentlemen when I was in PEI steal money from me

I felt extremely violated and used and yes hurt

So when we ask for deposits it's for a reason and I thank God for those gentlemen that provide one without a problem 

 

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that's why when u find a girl who will actually work for her money and has morals and has a sense of making good impression unpon who she is with wanting to be trusted and taking her job seruiouly, YOU SHOULD KEEP HER. And i have also has been on the shit end being robbed and sent to random locations just to waste my time for there kicks but when these women ripp these good gentle off only makes it harder for girls like me who are legit to have a nice a easy encounter.

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On 3/21/2022 at 5:02 PM, Miss-chelly said:

that's why when u find a girl who will actually work for her money and has morals and has a sense of making good impression unpon who she is with wanting to be trusted and taking her job seruiouly, YOU SHOULD KEEP HER. And i have also has been on the shit end being robbed and sent to random locations just to waste my time for there kicks but when these women ripp these good gentle off only makes it harder for girls like me who are legit to have a nice a eas

On 3/21/2022 at 5:02 PM, Miss-chelly said:

that's why when u find a girl who will actually work for her money and has morals and has a sense of making good impression unpon who she is with wanting to be trusted and taking her job seruiouly, YOU SHOULD KEEP HER. And i have also has been on the shit end being robbed and sent to random locations just to waste my time for there kicks but when these women ripp these good gentle off only makes it harder for girls like me who are legit to have a nice a easy encounter.

Yes I does make it hard for us BUT we wouldn't have to ask for deposits or other means of security if we didn't have reason to

I have been in this industry for along time and I have always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt and over look deposits to only have my time wasted..people sometimes like to take advantage of others when they can

I feel alot better now asking for a deposit knowing I can secure my time at least

Especially when I am inviting you into my personal space

If uncomfortable with sending a deposit or I.d they can always contact a lady that doesn't require one 

 

 

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Greetings to you all! 🙂

 

From what I have read an SW/Provider needs to:

a- agree to have coffee with a total stranger (before a possible session) to prove her authenticity;

b- Has to have years of experience + references to prove that she is trustworthy;

c- needs to be on an expensive review board and has to have several reviews;

What about the honest newbies? Or the down-low ladies? What about those who can't afford a 600$ subscription on Merb/Terb/ etc.

 

I require a pre-session fee (that goes towards the first session) where we can assess each other's personalities and see if we are indeed a match or not. 

My website is highly descriptive in terms of my personality, looks, services, expectations, location, I even have an FAQ page. I built my website myself (with no prior experience) came up with my application form and screening process. It took me well over a year (while learning more about BDSM/kink/taboos/psychology/sexual paraphilias/etc..)

Took my pictures, wrote my texts in both english amd french, read the DSM-5, paid for my domains, bought my outfits, shoes, accessories, ring lights, photoshoots... and so on. Subscribed to a bunch of review boards, created social media pages, etc. I spent a over a year and well over a few hundred before putting myself out there. 

Do you think I did all of this to steal a 50$ deposit from people? the thought alone insults me.

Not all of us are asking for a deposit with the intention of stealing/defrauding. Some of us do so to ensure quality experiences and to avoid time-wasting.

 

I was scolded this morning for my pre-session requirements but (not to be mean) I do not care. Screening is an important part of the job. Some platforms (🦁-list for example) are making it harder for providers to have peace of mind while working. There used to be a Blacklist page on Hump**ies where SWs would report the most heinous and horrendous crimes done to them (getting robbed during an outcall but a strung out couple, getting ribs broken after getting assaulted in their hotel room, held at knifepoint...) Some girl even reported calling the police on a guy to which the police answered: ''it's not his first time doing this, he suffers from mental illness and does it quite often''. The frequency at which these events happen, I could not believe it. (And of course they are never reported because who gives a [email protected]#% about SWs?) 

 

As I always say, patience is a sensual act which is why I'm never in a hurry. Take the time to learn more about your provider, maybe ask if they are open to a pre-session. My pre-session is at 50$ for 30 minutes (vocal)  -goes towards the first session- but it's a follow-up of my application form and I have constructed a questionnaire to make sure we're always on the same page. I feel like I've worked hard for the right to ask for a pre-session. 

Maybe ask your provider if they would be open to a quick pre-session (vocal or video) with or without a face (according to your and their level of comfort). Maybe arrange a fee that's reasonable to you both and take it from there.

Because if you think I'm going to make myself cute and pretty, do my hair and make up to make a good first impression,  take time out of my day to have a (free) coffee convo to reassure you that you are making the right decision by picking me... 😬😩 Not gonna happen!

Let's be realistic (and respectful) here.  Both customers and providers have the right to be picky and as @Kitten mentionned, there are lots of SWs that operate without deposits. 

 

Be safe out there! ♠️

 

www.zoedomino.com

 

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Ya... ever since C-36 passed I was terrified for new SWers. What I would recommend is meeting up with the most reputable SWers in the industry, have them vouch for you. Also, you dont need to pay terb/merb for guys to review you on there and certainly not to reco you on here. While you cant be asking for them to write one for you, many will only do so with your permission. So you can just mention that you are ok with them and these are invaluable. Any scammer can pay for an add on terb, it means nothing. But when an active member reviews or recommends you, its proof your are truly an SWer. Ive never paid for advertising, my gents do it for me.

IDK what city you are in, but many have an SW collective that does have a membership fee but its a suggested amount, you give what you can and if you cant, you dont. No questions asked. Many guys trust the collectives above all others. These collectives are a for us by us thing. TO, Mtl, Ottawa, Saskatoon all have them. Id be shocked if Vancouver didnt. Not only do they let folks know you are legit, they also advertise for you as we keep a website and then the collective pays for ads which leads the hobbyists to the site and your profile on there. You can find them on google by typing ---your city's name' independent companions' or '---your city's name--- indy companions'. And drop them a line. Networking is important for other reasons as well. If you are nervous about drama, i feel you, you can still network but not get personally or too socially involved. Many do.

IDK if you are bi or into doing duos but if you are, this is also a great way to get known in the industry as someone who is trusted. But most vets will be fine vouching for you once they get to know you a bit. Any one of my gents would definitely trust seeing someone new if I said I know her... its happened actually. I hope this helps! 

 

If you have any questions, feel free to text me.

Cant recall if my number is in my auto signature so i'll add it.

 

Yours in solidarity,

Jessy

xoxo xxx

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On 2/23/2022 at 8:46 AM, Prince Clay said:

I request to meet first, always, for a coffee or tea in a public place. If the escort or domme refuses this, I assume they are a scam looking for an easy deposit. 

 

I have also been scammed in person by a horrible, monsterous woman in Toronto, but at least she was a real human who I actually got to meet lol

 

I'm trans, but also gender critical, and a kinkster too. I get denied service for all kinds of morally questionable reasons, but I get that it's all about preferance and comfort(the feeling is mutual). I understand that sex work is hard work, and also a form of exploitation(most work is), but I have never been so denied, decieved and betrayed as I have been among sex workers. It's extremely disappointing.

Hi Happy Saturday!

 

To each their own but there is no way in HELL I would ever meet in public, nor would most providers. This isnt tinder. We get a load of weirdos who are address collectors, let alone if we met in public for anyone and everyone to see what our face looks like, take a pic and either become a stalker, follow us or blackmail. Noooooo way! way too dangerous. Also, this is a biz, we dont have time to meet people and get assessed. Not to mention the legal implications. Under the law, we are to keep our biz behind closed doors at all times and I agree fully with this law. People have the right to eat their diner breakfast without JessyCeleste walking in for a potential client.

 

Your point that a horrible Torontonian still scammed u after meeting is my point entirely. Who was kept safe? No one. Who was put at extreme risk? Both of you and the patrons in public who had the right not to overhear such exchanges.

I also find it... several things... to assume someone is a scam in an industry for behaving in the exact way the industry works. You are deeming industry standard a sign of a scam? Here's what, most providers would block the number of someone asking to meet in public immediately. Major red flag. You may want to investigate an industry prior to deciding and spreading info on what is a sign of a scam or not. You'll find many laughing emojis, while I dont want to laugh, I hope you will see that as a sign that what you suggested is beyond unheard of in the industry. Most hobbyists would not want to do this. If you do, cool, but pls dont go around saying that women who have maintained great reps for a decade should be seen as a scam for not becoming the equivalent of a street walker for your comfort or whims on what the standard policy should be in our industry. Its insulting and dangerous hon. 

 

This suggestion goes from the SP asking for deposits to the hobbyist asking for one at a way higher value (time away) and personal risk instead of financial... hell financial too if i get stood up and then jumped on the way home. Ya... not happening lol And you shouldnt either, same reason! When I become a hobbyist (yup i wrote that.. i'll be old and nasty one day but still want pretty girls lol) I would way rather risk a 50 than personal safety and social exposure. Please for so many reasons readers DO NOT ATTEMPT OR ACCEPT TO DO THINGS THIS WAY! Worker or client!!!! On the contrary, most who request this are indeed a scam of some sort. With few exceptions relating to ignorance of how and why things work.

 

If someone is reputable, I dont ask for deposits. And for me, its a one time thing. Once we've been together, we are good.

I know it sucks to jump hoops guys. Man is it ever hard for y'all to find a new lady and for a new lady to start out. Sucks but whats the solutiion? 

 

Personally I think its this. Having a dialogue where we all say our POVs and try to find balance and once we have, stick with those who operate in the way we are comfy with.

 

I don't want to shoot anyone's post down but as a long time professional in this industry I would vehemently discourage meeting in public. Not only for the SWs sake but for your own. Blackmail works both ways. If someone ends up being a scam, you're still in trouble. Now they got your face and proof you were meeting an SW. Very dangerous idea in this industry. Fine on tinder or fetlife but for this, we are targets and so are you.

 

Be safe lovers! xoxo

And thanks for the compliments. Its my sincere pleasure to stop people getting scammed. Maybe I should start a youtube channel like the ones for call center scams but do it for SW scams. lol DEMONITIZED. Still, if only I had time, itd be so fun to expose them AND waste their time. If anyone wants to do this, feel free to take my idea with my compliments and blessing. Hate these sociopaths who make this industry more dangerous for all of us. 

One more good tip. For those who know good SWers, dont hesitate to ask if they know anyone.

 

Sometimes we know someone who doesnt advertise for various reasons and know them well enough to vouch for them to a person we value.

 

Kisses,

Jessy

 

PS To be clear. I have zero animosity toward my sisters who work the streets. Only love and compassion for their situation and a constant thought (and some small action)  on how to help. 

Edited by JessyCeleste
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TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

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8 hours ago, Prince Clay said:

TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

Pardon me if I'm misreading this it's been a long day and I'm tuckered out; if I am reading this correctly, your comment is saying you expect an escort to take time out of their day, to go meet you for a coffee for you to "verify" them...totally uncompensated?🤨

Edited by MissArtois
Autocorrect-based typo lol
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On 9/20/2022 at 1:47 PM, Prince Clay said:

TLDR.

Halifax is a small city. Meet me at a coffee place on Quinpool. Otherwise no deal. I live at Quingate place. I'm actually easy to please, but I'm patient and will happily wait for travelers. Send me a message if you're interested 

Seriously? Been in the biz for a long time And I would never agree to this. To ask a provider to do this is not only putting their safety in jeopardy but taking time away from their business for which they should be compensated.

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It's for both of our safety and in both of our best interest. No point in wasting time with a person you are repulsed by. A quick meeting for a coffee clears things up. I'm like a ...demisexual, but with everyone. All the time. Deal with it. 

 

Sorry to derail the thread. Bye now

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35 minutes ago, Prince Clay said:

It's for both of our safety and in both of our best interest. No point in wasting time with a person you are repulsed by. A quick meeting for a coffee clears things up. 

     I don't want to burst your bubble. But even for arrangements, nobody doing a living on paid companionship will meet you for a coffee date unless some form of compensation is attached.

     There alternatives like meeting someone for a short session, massage, cuddling or else. And sticking to providers with a well-established reputation will avoid wasting your time.

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I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

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44 minutes ago, Bree Johnson said:

I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

Well it just a guess but I don’t want to offend anyone but the reason why they don’t tell there age is maybe because they might be worried how a sp would react on how old they are that what I think but like I said I don’t want to offend anyone.

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49 minutes ago, Bree Johnson said:

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

     I'm more the opposite. As I'm getting older, I prefer being honest about my age and be sure the lady will be fine with the age gap.

     As for the smell, a fresh shower, soap and deodorant should be a minimal requirement.

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14 hours ago, Bree Johnson said:

I'm wondering what SPs do when someone smells badly?

 

I have started to screan more but as soon as I ask someone their age they usually don't answer. At first I would just cross.my fingers and know nothing about who was walking in the door. I realize someone who is afraid to give me an approximate age might speak to their readiness or paranoid tendencies perhaps

 

Some SPs will mention in their correspondence that a shower is available (most considerate clients if coming from a physically demanding/sweaty job will get out ahead of that and ask) and offer one with fresh towels and soap ready.

 

There's many too who will just insist every client shower on arrival, regardless of what time they last showered, to circumvent that whole issue. It can be challenging to assert oneself sometimes, but that gets easier with practice. 

 

And some might choose to stop the session if it cannot be tuned out, and insist someone shower. Or may leave it for the appointment, but if the client reaches out to book again, say something then. It's an awkward conversation and one I personally have very rarely needed to have. Sometimes the client is genuinely unaware, like they may have a diminished sense of smell or similar, and they are then appreciative of the information. 

 

Things like age, race and build are perfectly reasonable to ask. It doesn't mean discrimination- if you host out of a private apartment or hotel, it's rare to happen but the wrong person could knock on your door when you're expecting someone. It's a way to make sure the right person is at your door. I agree with you that if they're not willing to share such basic information, something's fishy. 

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20 minutes ago, Prince Clay said:

DM if you're interested in beating me up! Ladies! 

 

Thanks!

  As you wish....

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On 2/20/2022 at 5:34 AM, JessyCeleste said:

Hi,

I hear your frustration, I really do and I'm not about to preach or tell you off in anyway. Only empathy & some advice on how to verify & also how to be able to tell if she is consistently available.

I've had clients I really care about fall victim. I dont know what city you are in but there are other ways to verify SWs, it gets more difficult with younger ones because they won't have the years of good reviews & recommendations. But that is certainly one way. In terms of whether they tour or are actually local, their site & their recos can also help u. You can contact those who have seen or still see them & ask if they really are in town as much as they say they are. Another hint is often if rates work on a declining scale. This will give you an idea that she prefers longer appointments over many 1hr ones, which regardless of how long each appointment your preference is, it will give you an insight into the fact that she prefers seeing less people more often as opposed to quantity or having no preference one way or the other. The trouble is a lot of the SPs who are established, available regularly and have regular agents, dont need to and therefore dont advertise as much. Myself I'm only on lyla & Twitter & although I've been available in Ottawa every week pretty much since I started, if you look into my post history, my 'schedules & announcements' wont reflect that. I'm often already somewhat prebooked & know enough of my regs will contact me regardless if I'm advertising (because they know I do this). I would hate for someone new to constantly be trying to contact me when I'm busy and get declined and give up or think I "never reply" so I just dont advertise unless I think I'll have booking time to spare. I'm also only in lyla & twitter. I'm giving myself as an example but there are many like me. 

I'm truly sorry for all you have endured. It's really rough esp for someone just starting out, on both sides of the industry. I know you are experienced. Many SWers will accept reference alone. Another key with deposits is if she has her own incall vs renting a space. The reason deposits have become such a widespread thing is because during covid, after months of no income, SWs would get booked, specifically rent their space out (many apts are either just Air BnBs or another SPs incall) they are on the hook either way, they pay the sum & then the gent cancels sitting fear of covid. This was a pandemic on it's own. It didnt happen to me as I have my own incall plus until i was vaccinated i only offered Covid-Smart apts. But it happened to many and so deposits became standard. Scammers saw this and took advantage. Many arent even in canada. (I had a hacker I know trace one cuz I was so mad they got a reg of mine) He blamed himself as he booked off leolist with someone without reviews. So anyway, the fact that SPs who are legit and consistent end up not advertising much, is adding to your troubles. If you're in Ottawa & tell me your preferences, I can vouch for many & know a diverse group. Outside ottawa I cant help. Oh! Many cities have had regular/established ladies create their own network. OIC in Ottawa, IndyCompanions in Mtl, I know TO & even Saskatoon have their own. While not all members are in for the long hall you can tell who is. 

I really hope this helps you and I wish you the best of luck. C36 has fed this getting worse. The states are worse too. The more laws u add, the further underground it drives it and along come the sociopaths & exploiters! Our laws were fine as they were prior to C36. Alas, all we can do is call our local MPs and organize. Anyhow, I hop my advice helps & I really hope you find what you are looking for. It saddens me because I know theres an SP out there who would love a new reg. Even those of us with regs, they do sometimes leave us before we leave the industry so keep your eyes peeled for ads that may not appear all the time yet say things like "As usual I'll be available from (insert days of the week). " and "my incall is..." if she has an apt itll always have the same characteristics. Also look for recos where the same gent posts again or says "I've been seeing her for the last ___  years" 

When you go to their sites you can often tell if they tour. Myself I dont tour but I do always set a day or two aside when I'm visiting a city. So I mention TO but it's also clear that I dont go often and dont stay long. If you see far away cities listed as an constant, she tours. Also beyond OIC and such their are twitter accounts that will offer a list of who is active & whether they are local or tour. 

Finally, network with some of the other hobbyists in your area. Send them a msg and ask who is legit & if interested in a particular SW but cant tell if shes consistently available, contact one of the reco posters & ask them. They'll definitely know if she is around a lot & easy to book with.

 

Take care of yourself !

JessyCeleste

 

Hi I just wanted to say thanks for this very thorough and helpful comment I appreciated it a lot I will definately look out for these things

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Hi to clarify I posted a DM I got telling me "calm down babe" it was just bizarre...the sender of the DM mistook me for the person who posted the thread and chose the name of it. I don't think they really understand how a message board works. I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol. But after  consideration I removed the screenshot because though it was weird and inappropriate it was ultimately harmless.

Edited by MissArtois
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On 10/8/2022 at 5:45 AM, MissArtois said:

I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol.

Makes sense, and sounds frustrating. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of barrier to entry on a board like this.

Hopefully by the time folks have posted a few dozen times they start to understand how to engage constructively. Sorry you had to deal with that.

-cbs

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On 10/8/2022 at 5:45 AM, MissArtois said:

Hi to clarify I posted a DM I got telling me "calm down babe" it was just bizarre...the sender of the DM mistook me for the person who posted the thread and chose the name of it. I don't think they really understand how a message board works. I was just bothered being told to "calm down" over something I never said in the first place lol. But after  consideration I removed the screenshot because though it was weird and inappropriate it was ultimately harmless.

People are so catty here and take things very personally it seems, a lot like Twitter lol. I've received constant antagonism and censorship, as well as a couple angry DM's. People get jealous and can also be petty haters. Burna Boy X Vybz Kartel - Last Last (Remix) - YouTube

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