A very Touchy Subject ....

[ExtremeGFE 263]

I recently started dealing with one of the girls and she refuses to see any clients that are "African-America" I don't know how to tell men that and I feel bad as well but I do respect her wishes.... How should I handle the situation?? any suggestions would help

 

xoxo

[star99 4852]

my guess is to dissmiss her. not fair to clients what race they are. plus its not polite either

[backrubman 64800]

I recently started dealing with one of the girls and she refuses to see any clients that are "African-America" I don't know how to tell men that and I feel bad as well but I do respect her wishes.... How should I handle the situation?? any suggestions would help

xoxo

 

Well her reasons could be simple prejudice or something completely different, but what ever they are I respect her right to have them. In particular because this is posted under FS providers, I think it is every woman's choice to see or not see anyone they choose (clients also). Perhaps it isn't at all what it one might think, maybe she had an "African-American" boyfriend who treated her badly and she doesn't need to be reminded of this.

 

Some more mature SPs won't see younger men? Hem, should we complain to the human rights commission based on age discrimination?

 

In an intimate setting, racial prejudice is acceptable to me; (heavens, did I just say that, yes, I did and only because I am both stupid and fearless) but in fact it is the only circumstance under which I will tolerate or stand for it even if I don't agree with it.

 

I think she has the right to discriminate on any bases she chooses (in this case only), most of which would be completely unacceptable under any other circumstance.

 

I also think it is possible to not be prejudice but not believe in or be comfortable with inter-racial couples (when one of them is you).

[Boomer 33202]

I think she has every right to decide who she's comfortable seeing. This is a very personal business so let her decide what her restrictions are. Post them and that's all you have to do,.

[star99 4852]

I think she has every right to decide who she's comfortable seeing. This is a very personal business so let her decide what her restrictions are. Post them and that's all you have to do,.

i dont think its a good idea to post who or what race whe wants to see. she'll get into trouble with mod over race issues. its happened before.

[Guest S***dst***]

Not to sound rude but you just have to suck it up.

 

She is a person and she has the right to decide if she doesn't want to see a specific clientelle.

I suppose you can't post that here (as wrtten above) but if you have a website or simply over the phone do it there.

 

No offense to any race is intended by my statement.

 

Sometimes the simplest answer is the best one, try, "Sorry this particular lady will not see african-american clients...but I have this other lady who (insert sales pitch here)"

 

It's not unheard of in the industry (or life...) Some asian providers will only see asian clients. I've met an african-american woman who wouldn't see causasians... I wasn't offended it's her decision who she is willing to date.

[backrubman 64800]

I think she has every right to decide who she's comfortable seeing. This is a very personal business so let her decide what her restrictions are. Post them and that's all you have to do,.

 

Well I'm glad you agree with me but I know it is a lot more troublesome for the agency than just "Post them and that's all you have to do". Her wishes still have to be handled discreetly so as not to bring on the wrath of people that feel it is simple racial prejudice. I do understand the dilemma for the agency and would even understand if she had to be replaced, could be any interesting case before the HRC :)

 

One of my best friends is in a inter-racial marriage, I feel for him as sometimes they are discriminated against (his wife is from Jamaica and very dark skinned). They do unfortunately draw lots of undesired attention. If she is an escort perhaps she simply wants to be able to avoid drawing attention when doing the escort thing. Perhaps if she is seen with a client (by someone that knows her) she would like to always be able to explain it away as being with a potential boyfriend. Who knows?

 

In any event, we can never and should not expect a person (of either gender or role) to have to defend in any way who they choose to be intimate with for any reason, including this one.

[JodyWild 4740]

I Agree It Is Kind Of Like Discrimination to the race..& it doesn't help your company in a way....cuz if you tell the client that they may take it the wrong way and let others know who ask and are African-american....But Every woman Yes does have the choice of who she wants to see or not see so i wish you luck in your dilemma..i dont know how i would explain it if i was a the company

[Guest *l**e]

The problem is that white people are the only race that it is ok to discriminate against. It is the old "fair to oppress the oppressor" argument.

 

For an example that is fairly benign. For many years there were men's only clubs all over. that is now illegal. Yet, women's only clubs are totally legal and common. Girls can join boy scouts or play on a boy's team, but not vice versa.

 

If she said she would not see over or under a certain age would that be ok? of course. A person has the right to choose their clientelle using any criteria they wish. Who knows, maybe she was raped by a black fellow and has a fear. It would certainly be insensitive and wrong to make her be with a person that makes her feel nervous or scared.

 

unfortunately, it could be simple racism, and although I think that is a disgusting thought, I would not want to be with a person who doesn't want to be with me, so I would welcome the warning/refusal.

 

Now here is a question...do ou now have to pre-screen clients by asking their race? I have never been asked this prior to an appointment, and I think it might bug me if someone did ask. i would probably choose not to go there.

[inti-mate 3454]

could just be a size issue. One of my buddies is like a horse and scares some ladies.

[Royalfun 55448]

She should go Indy; that way she will have the freedom to define her business plan and select the kind of customers she wants and those she doesn't.

 

For an agency, that kind of "selection" may cause a problem for the credibility or the reputation of the agency. For the SP, she has the right to choose the customers she wants to offer her services, but, maybe, the agency setting does not suits her.

[piano8950 32577]

She's well within her right to. But it's kinda tricky to have someone employed with that restriction. You'd have to screen all callers who are interested in her, and most likely insult the black ones when they find out the SP won't meet them.

[Guest **n****er]

This is a touchy subject for me but I truly believe through intelligent dialogue we all gain a better understanding of opposing perspectives. So far I've read very measured posts and I commend you all for that.

 

My personal feeling is that every sp and even agency has the right to provide service to whomever they desire. It this was a fully recognized profession and service, it would fall under the provisions of the Canadian Charter of Human rights which stipulates that denial of service based on race, nationality, religions, sex, disability ect. is not lawful under the act.

 

But since this falls outside of those provisions you as an agency are free to employ whomever you chose and to tell clients whatever you want.

 

But be prepared for the consequences. This business is very much entrenched in free advertising via word of mouth. A hobbier who feels slighted is equally within his rights to tell everybody he knows or even people he doesn't know through the use of forums, blogs other review boards etc. - about his feelings on the subject.

 

Although I'm pretty sure it wouldnt get to that. There are plenty of beautiful women here that have no issues seeing kind, thoughtful respectable and clean gentleman regardless of pigment. You accept the denial of service like a man and move on.

[Guest]

She must have her reasons for not wanting to see different raced people. No matter how incredibly rude I think this is. You still have to go with this girls wishes. It is her right to choose who she would like to spend time with. I think that she will be missing out on money and great clients. As some of the best clients I have had are different raced people. I would be discreet in handling this matter. I would just ask the clients interested in her what their race is. I would find this incredibly embarrassing to be asking this, tho. Good luck!

[Ashley Ann 75247]

The service an sp provides is a special & unique type of service :)

 

So I think that personal preferences regarding clientel is perfectly aceptable.

 

As an sp you want to spend time with men who you are comfortable with, and as a client-would you not prefer to spend your money & time with a lady who actually wants to spend time with you, rather than one who does not? The difference between the two, in regards to levels of service would be extremely opposite.

 

Now..... if a restaurant or any other type of service providing business, indicated they choose not to serve African Americans or any other race...That would be wrong.

[poolasaurus 5877]

I think it's fine to set who you want to fuck. It's a service industry but it's still intimate sex thats being served. Everyone has their preferences.

 

Heck, clients do this all the time. Why do you think the word Ebony is used with black SPs?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Years back when I worked in Vancouver I was working for an Asian massage parlor, and there were plenty of different races that were patron's. I was not selected because of the color of my skin, and I just had to accept it. On the flip side, there were those who selected me because I was Caucasian.

 

I would not post it publicly!! As it may reflect on your business ethics. Perhaps if you have web-site, you can write a mission statement ot the effect that your business is open to many different races, however is at the discretion for the individual ladies to choose. Then when an Afri-Canadian, or Indian/Asain do inquire, and they want a particular lady, you as an agent can offer a better match.

[roamingguy 300291]

A lady's boundaries are a lady's boundaries, and should be respected.

Why she doesn't wish to see African Canadians, I don't know.

But if forced to see a client she doesn't wish to see, for an intimate encounter, my guess, it will be a terrible encounter for both the gentleman and her. And really, if she has to have the encounter, it will be more like forcing her to see someone, less like a consensual act.

Perhaps quietly you two can discus her reasons, but if she insists on her boundary, respect it.

A rambling for what it's worth

RG

[Areez 11906]

It is a very sensitive issue indeed,

 

To just let her go because of her preference is harsh - she is still a human being and free will is her right. Any reason that she have to make decision is hers and should not be dragged out in public.

 

There is subtle way to refer clientele to other sp within the agency, if whomever on the line is booking with her - you could ask if they are african-american.. if they feel offended, just defer with a polite explanation how it is her preference and you respected that so you need to confirm it for her.

 

If client decided that you are a bad business person by respecting your employee choice that is their loss. If anything client should be more comfortable knowing you are willing to go the distance and protect and create a safe comfortable working environment for your employees.

 

my ramble anyways ..

 

** added:

there were more than once occasion i have been asked what race i am on the phone during a booking... i dont find it offensive but i ask the lady why is it important for her and should we still go trough with the date... i make my decision based on their answers really..

[Mark123456 1986]

Everyone has a right to choose who and when. The problem here is it leaves you to do the dirty work...

[Lexy Grace 103696]

This is a very sensitive subject but not one that should be pushed under the rug, as if it doesn't exist.

 

Everyone has the right to choose who they have an encounter with SP and Hobbyist alike, our choice.

 

I myself a Ebony(Black)/Native Companion was together and married to a white man for many years, we have 2 bi-racial sons. I have never dated a black male, may be because my family is so large and everyone is your cousin or distant cousin. I've always dated white men and that is just the race I'm use to or it may be because I started dated my ex-white husband when I was 15. I have no exact answer to why.

 

I don't see many black males, 2 regulars as a matter of fact. Other races mainly Asian, bi-racial, Native and mainly White contact me.

I see it as if someone doesn't want to meet me because of my ethnicity and stereotypes that is their loss and sad. They are missing out on a very nice sweet person but I don't let it bother me, I will admit it use to hurt my feelings and make me wonder what is wrong with me, why am I not good enough. Then I realized, I'm not the problem. For any one person that looks at me with those "racist" thoughts, their not in my books good enough to be even graced with my presence. There are many wonderful people who would and are delighted to spend quality time with me.

 

To be blunt no matter the color on the outside of the SP, a kitty is a kitty and we all have unique personalities, looks, shapes, sizes, hair color and something special to offer. People are entitled to have their preferences but times have and are still changing, so may be it's time to think outside the box and try new things and types.

 

I am open to seeing any race and legal age but it is all in the initial approach and contact, point blank. I have met a 20 year old that was more kind and respectful in person than a 40 year old.

 

In terms of the SP not wanting to see black males, I think there are underlying issues that we will never know and that is her right and choice. SP's don't make these types of decisions for no reason, whether it was their upbringing, bad experience or whatever. She has made this choice for a reason but no two people are a like.

 

IMHO I never base who I see because of a not so great and respectful encounter with Mr. A who is white and just crude and say well I'm not seeing Mr. B who is white because of Mr. A. Everyone is different and no two can and will be the exact same.

 

Just my thoughts.

All my Love,

Lexy

[Phaedrus 209521]

Ugh. This is a tricky one. I fear there are no easy answers.

 

First, as everyone else has said, every SP has an inalienable right to choose who she sees, or not, and to vet her potential clients according to her own criteria. If one of those happens to be race, or color, or creed, so be it. It's her call; nobody else has any right to overrule her.

 

Secondly: I can see this as a huge potential problem for an agency. Many potential clients may not - or may not be inclined to - readily distinguish between "SP X won't see <insert race/color/creed here> clients", and "This agency doesn't cater to <race/color/creed> clients". And for better or worse, an agency *is* going to become associated with the ladies who work for it. If they're generally good and generate happy clients, a good reputation for the agency will follow. But negatives also apply.

 

And so it seems to me that an agency owner who has a business to run and a reputation to worry about may legitimately decide not to associate themselves with such screening techniques. It's not just SPs and clients who get to choose who they're going to do business with.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Yes, Phaedrus, you are so right here!

 

I should quote, but someone a few back post suggested that perhaps the lady could go INDY....

 

that way she does not compromise her own work ethic, nor does the agency??

 

However we dont know if this lady has chosen AGENCY over INDY for a personal reason as well?

[andflemcol 3975]

She should go Indy; that way she will have the freedom to define her business plan and select the kind of customers she wants and those she doesn't.

 

For an agency, that kind of "selection" may cause a problem for the credibility or the reputation of the agency. For the SP, she has the right to choose the customers she wants to offer her services, but, maybe, the agency setting does not suits her.

 

I am in total agreement Royalfun. This is exactly what I was going to post.

 

I mean, I respect that people have different prejudices and for whatever reason. No matter what reason she has though, it will not reflect well on your agency. She should go Indy IMHO.

[Subvenio 324]

It's her right, but he's also got the right to not deal with that sorta thing. Like he himself admitted, it's bad for business and puts him in an awkward position. Just dismiss her.