When you provide a Reference, I CHECK it....

[roamingguy 300291]

I know the very first time (and keep in mind I was still a relative newbie to this lifestyle) a certain lady;-) required verification/screening information including a reference and it was somewhat scary for me. OMG she'll know my real name. My stereotype of this lifestyle was it was about anonymous sexual encounters, so imagine this lady wanting my personal information. But I gave it, including my name and verifiable reference. And the result, our very first encounter, was a great encounter, and, well I think a large part of it being a great encounter was even before we met in person, a wall got broken down and there was some level of trust between the two of us, a trust which has grown...if that makes sense

Privacy must be respected. But it is a balancing act between a lady's safety and well being versus a man's privacy, well IMHO a lady's safety and well being trump a man's privacy every time. I have found, after seeing a few ladies who require verification, that the information provided is treated with the utmost respect and confidentiality. You can trust the ladies with your personal information.

If you don't want to provide your personal information then don't see ladies who require screening information. Me, I'm glad back in my newbie days I overcame my fear of providing verification information. If I had declined she would have declined seeing me, and I know the loss would have been all mine

A rambling

RG

[Guest P*rry]

RG's thoughts are probably not unique. They certainly mirrored my own approach to CERB for some time. There was a lot of trepidation. In fact, my sense of caution hindered my full participation in CERB ... until lately.

 

I remember my concern for my privacy when asked for information about "me". I thought it was to be a one-way 'dialogue'. Not, anymore. Thanks to postings from SPs and MPs I have a completely different understanding of the relationship.

 

So thank you Emily for making it a point to check references. It makes CERB a safer community for everyone.

[waterat 20911]

..... however my need for my safety is equally as important.[/b].[/color]

 

Emily any gentleman should respectfully recognize that your safety is indeed more important than their privacy - and for more reasons than just your safety though that is the most important reason.

 

Waterat

 

p.s. thank you for checking!

[CristyCurves 169032]

Sadly this type of back and forth nonsense happens all the time, with me anyways. Part of the problem is that there are girls, I think many girls, who do accept appointments without any screening what so ever and as long as there are girls willing to see men without having them go through any type of screening there will be many like the one you've dealt with and the many I deal with thinking that all girls will accept an appointment from them with just their first name and the "you can trust me" attitude.

I also find a lot of men having the attitude that because we advertise our services that we then "have" to accept their request for an appointment. They don't get that we have the option of choosing with whom we meet and how we go about selecting those GENTLEMEN is our right and our business. It is then your right to follow or not follow our screening processes. But it isn't your right to question them!

 

[frank97500 18478]

Only my opinion but I would much rather meet with a lady that has a strict screening policy than a lady that will accept any man because of the $$.... Mutual respect should be at the forefront, cleanliness and safety, of course. I have to agree that it is scary to tell someone, you do not know, who you are, what you do and what you would like!! It could be very damaging if this had to some out....After all, we would all like to remain anonymous, but the reality is, there is the potential for a lady to meet a numbnut and that should not even be a possibility... Screening is and should be accepted by all!! No exception. If you do not like it, maybe you should stroll down a bar and have some fun!! Just saying....... :)

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

thanks for posting this Emily. I had someone provide a 'fake' reference once long ago, and now I insist upon seeing a website and contact via email to verify the validity of the reference. It's also important to me that the lady be someone they have seen within the last six months. I check every reference too.

 

It's bizarre to me that any gent would want to see someone that isn't comfortable seeing them, but it's something I've experienced too. Almost like when I said "no thank you" it became a personal challenge to somehow try to get around that. I wonder if sometimes rejection by a sex professional, even when done tactfully, is more than some can easily accept.

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

I personally do not required references on a regular base, sometime I will ask for it, but it is not that common.

I do however have some people staying they have seen such and such...but please don,t contact me because I don't want them to be jealous or know I have seen you.

 

I am starting to wonder if some guys are "ashamed" of seeing me because I am so heavily tattooed or something:/

[Guest M*****le*****c-H***s (Reti]

I've had enquiries from guys who don't want to so much as give me a phone call. I tell them, after texting, phone me; it helps to keep me safe. If they can't at least phone me, I say, ok thanks anyway. Bye. :/

[Jay67 688]

A quick question about references. Does anybody know how many SP's require a reference for the screening process?

[roamingguy 300291]

A quick question about references. Does anybody know how many SP's require a reference for the screening process?

 

I don't have a number for you (I don't think there are stats on this) but I can't recall the last lady I saw that didn't have screening/verification requirements including my full name and a reference.

It is, from my vantage point, something extremely commonplace in this lifestyle. More commonplace than four years ago when I began this lifestyle, at least it seems that way to me

RG

[bcguy42 38594]

This whole business of guys not wanting to give real information to someone they want to get naked with reminds me of a discussion I had last week.

 

In general, providers and clients are engaged in a variant dance of Mutual Assured Destruction.

 

[mutual assured destruction

n.

Severe, unavoidable reciprocal damage that superpowers are likely to inflict on each other or their allies in a nuclear war, conceived as the heart of a doctrine of nuclear deterrence.]

 

Neither party particularly wants to be "outed" by the other and is highly unlikely to do so because of the "severe, unavoidable reciprocal damage" that would result.

 

So gents, relax. Provide the requested information truthfully and enjoy the results.

[gc1968 2033]

I know when I finally do get the chance to see some of the wonderful ladies on this site I won't be able to provide any references, at least at first. However, since I have nothing to hide from anyone (like a SO or anything) I will give full disclosure to the lady(s) (like real name, phone number, etc) if that is what they need. I am pretty sure my first contact will be through a pm here or an email if that is preferred, that way the lady can at least see my post history on here. Not sure if that will be enough for some of the ladies, but I guess I will see when the time comes.

 

I get that some guys want their privacy, but I don't get lying about references and stuff to try to circumvent a SP's screening process. It just really makes them look shady, and throws up red flags.

[Tsukiyo_Chevalier 3242]

I know with the world we live in giving out information of any kind can be scary to say the least. And i an under stand that people do not want something to come back and bit them in the "end" but any lady that takes the time to at least do some kind of background check even if it is just talking to get to know the other person as you can learn a lot about someone that way; is ok by me. i mean i treat my time with any lady as if see way my girlfriend for the time we are together so if she is not comfortable wondering if i am going to do something it would ruin the time together. now there are limits too, i think as the the information that should be requested or given out but that comes down to other factors.

 

and for the guys: remember there are a lot of nuts and crazies out there that would not mind hurting someone, or just people that would play around with someone for fun, just to get there kicks. so a little background helps show that you are " hero instead of a zero " (sorry i was going to use gentlemen but the rhyme was catchier :) ) after all just like you are looking for a great time so is any lady.

 

have a good night

TC

[Katherine of Halifax 113931]

I personally do not required references on a regular base, sometime I will ask for it, but it is not that common.

I do however have some people staying they have seen such and such...but please don,t contact me because I don't want them to be jealous or know I have seen you.

 

I am starting to wonder if some guys are "ashamed" of seeing me because I am so heavily tattooed or something:/

 

I experienced the same sort of for lack of a better work "prejudice" because of a name. When I started out I was cathyHFXdom , I had lots of visitors but very few recco's.

 

Then I became Katherine and the recco's came piling in. Same lady different name. I think guystry to hide seeing some of us for whatever reason. That is just the way it is, not everyone is comfortable letting others think they are kinky or in any way non mainstream.

 

Its all good.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I have not read all the statements on this thread, but I can say this ..

 

If I am asked from a client to provide a reference, or the other way around, I will NEVER EVER put my feelings about that provider ahead of her safety!

I feel women who do this is an awful display of disrespect:(

 

If I am asked by provider that maybe I don't see eye to eye with, I would never set them up with a false representation of that client. I would never sleep at night if I gave a "good reference" to a dude that I knew was dangerous, or even if I thought THAT PARTICULAR client was OK, but if he was not HER style I would say so as well.

 

Noting is worse then being told so and so said I should meet you, to find out they were a scum bag! I would not do that to my worst enemy:( It happened recently with me:(

[Genevieve Marceau 68000]

My favorite is when the client go through the booking process, confirm and date and time, then when comes the time to complete my screening information in order to confirm the appointment, they disappear. Like they were hoping I would slack on my verification procedures.

 

As stated on my website, on my screening form page: Being in my company is a privilege, not a right.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

My favorite is when the client go through the booking process, confirm and date and time, then when comes the time to complete my screening information in order to confirm the appointment, they disappear. Like they were hoping I would slack on my verification procedures.

 

As stated on my website, on my screening form page: Being in my company is a privilege, not a right.

 

 

YUPPER!!! lol, that's when I put into my contacts as BS client, or fisher...etc....

yes fella's we all have nicknames for the " no go"

and if I am asked for reference, I check threw ALL of my contacts and history to determine who is who also share my info to other ladies ...hahahha

[Andee 220524]

A quick question about references. Does anybody know how many SP's require a reference for the screening process?

 

Ladies who require references will indicate their screening protocol in their advertising and websites.

[fortunateone 156618]

I've had enquiries from guys who don't want to so much as give me a phone call. I tell them, after texting, phone me; it helps to keep me safe. If they can't at least phone me, I say, ok thanks anyway. Bye. :/

 

 

I have similar setup. Someone emails me i give some reply, including you have to call for info and booking. Oh, gee can't do that. Oh well, too bad. Same with texting, they text me to a landline, my ads say no email, no text and no messages.

 

In other words, if I am asking to speak to a real person, there is a reason why i am not interesting in typing to someone who might be female, or 15.

 

Same difference to me if the person 'can't' do that, it means they probably are 15 or another sp fake booking or a deadbeat fake booking, either way a legit client even if they didn't know or don't remember what you have asked them to do, there is no doubt when they contact that way and you tell them.

 

I get people calling from their home phone, with their name on it, and then calling from their cel phone, with their name displayed, and they will walk in wearing a work shirt with their place of business and their name on it. If they can do it, so can anyone who is contacting a lady who is actually asking for that information.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

In relation to this, is when a client wants an outcall to a hotel. Just recently, someone wanted to see me at a 5 star hotel that requires a key card to get on the floor. He was texting me - I asked him to call me from his room to verify he was actually a guest at the hotel. He replied that his room did not have a phone in it. I knew this was a lie, as this hotel has phones in all of the rooms. I then said, well, give me your room number and name, and I'll call you. He then replied "I'll get someone who's not so complicated". No problem I replied. Good luck in finding anyone who will come to this hotel with no verification.

 

There are those that like to make fake bookings - I have no idea if this person was even in town, if this was a child or an adult, or if this was a male or a female. I can't get this information from a text message.

 

Needless to say, he didn't want to give me his information - I didn't want him to meet Ms. Kitty. End of conversation with him.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If a person can't respect the SP's screening process, don't bother! There are too many men out there ( not all!) who just don't give a damn and even at times try to make the provider feel guilty about what she is asking for or don't read the website entirely. Although I have my own screening process and way of doing things, if someone doesn't adhere to my requests/protocol, it's a no go.