Ask an escort!

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I love discussing desires, wants and needs prior. It gives me an idea of the gentleman and what he enjoys. Just because I know things beforehand doesn't mean that our date is scripted in ANY way but it's much easier to follow the flow of desire if I know that you might enjoy this or that and you're giving indications of wanting that as opposed to stopping in the middle to ask and then determine boundaries.

 

I have discussed some things ahead of time only to have desire lead in a completely different direction during. Knowledge is simply a basis on which to build mutual exploration!

[Guest S****r]

I am loving the questions, and I am loving all the answers!

 

Here goes my turn:

What is the best thing about being an SP?

The independence, the great sex, the great company, and the money. There is a quotation that says: The happiest people in the world are those who do two things: 1. figure out what it is they love to do. 2. figure out a way to get people to pay them to do it! <big grin>

 

 

What do you like least about being an escort?

The inability to be totally honest with my friends and some family. Until entering this industry, I prided myself on always being honest. But now, in order to protect loved ones and protect my day career, I have to keep this part of my life too private.

 

Another question. How did you feel after your first time as an SP?

Thrilled! fortunately, the first guy was extremely nice and it all went very well. But frankly, I will never forget the feeling of excitement and relief as I held that money in my hand. Finally I had found a way to get myself out of the hole! (more on this in my blog, by the way)

 

How do you react when a client says he loves you? [awkward]

It depends on how it is said. When it is said with just sheer exhilaration, and no expectation, I am fine with it, and just share in the exhilaration myself. But when it is said with intensity, I have to call him on it because I would never want to lead anyone astray.

 

How do you, as escorts, shield yourself from an emotional attachment and remain only business?

I have gotten extremely close with several clients, and fully enjoy that. But I know if I cross a certain line, it is not good for either of us, so I purposely withhold myself.

 

Does this "attachment" ever result in the urge to take the intimacy further than is professionally prudent? With some, I sometimes think it might be nice if it was different, but frankly, I have already raised a family and have zero desire to become too entangled with anyone. I don't need a father for my kids, a husband, or a SO. I like flying solo very much in most ways, thank you very much.

 

Has it been important to have friends, confidants, mentors in the business? Do you draw upon them or find you work best just keeping to yourself?

I have been privileged to have made a small circle of very close escort friends. We meet monthly for a social time--order in take-out or go out for dinner, and we keep in touch by email or text throughout the rest of the month. I am very grateful for my buds!!

 

What would you say to a guy that would love to visit an SP but feels very intimidated and don't think he is good enough!

I tell him, let's just pretend that we are already good friends and just skip that whole awkward phase of walking on eggshells to impress. So far, it has worked very well. (even just last night!)

 

What do SP's do to mentally prepare themselves for a session?

I also wrote about this in my blog.

I put on some sexy music while I run the water to get it warm for my shower, purposefully center myself and envision myself washing away all the effects of any prior thoughts as I shower, let the excitement of having a date on the way start to bubble up inside me. Slip into something sexy. Get out the wine and glasses. Light the candles. Review any emails or texts we have had to remind myself if there are any special requests. Allow myself to feel like a high school girl waiting for her boyfriend to arrive!

 

What makes for an enjoyable encounter for the ladies?

You know what, guys, it isn't only you that enjoys the fantasy aspect of the encounter. For example, last night a new client arrived (first visit) and presented me with one beautiful blue rose! Even though we were actual strangers, it gave my heart a little thrill. It told me that this is one very nice and thoughtful guy. He took over pouring the wine while I put the flower in a vase. We sat on the couch an toasted to a good evening for us both. We sat and chatted and laughed, tentatively reaching out and touching and caressing each other as we did. He asked me up front if he needed to be sure to exit as soon as the one hour was up. When I assured him that I had no other plans this evening except to enjoy his company, he really relaxed. Then once we kissed, we knew for sure we were golden.

 

All those perhaps seemingly small gestures helped set an atmosphere that had us both fully enjoy our time together. Small things can make a big difference.

 

If a potential client is interested knowing if you enjoy/offer a given activity, is there a "best" way to ask?

I LIKE for them to ask. I usually ask anyone new if there is anything in particular he is hoping for, or ask him to describe to me what would be the perfect encounter. Expectations are a big part of being satisfied, so it is in both of our interests to know up front what the expectations are, so we can best meet them.

 

Great questions, guys! Keep them coming!!

[Guest P**aq]

I am loving the questions, and I am loving all the answers!

 

Here goes my turn:

What is the best thing about being an SP?

The independence, the great sex, the great company, and the money. There is a quotation that says: The happiest people in the world are those who do two things: 1. figure out what it is they love to do. 2. figure out a way to get people to pay them to do it! <big grin>

 

 

What do you like least about being an escort?

The inability to be totally honest with my friends and some family. Until entering this industry, I prided myself on always being honest. But now, in order to protect loved ones and protect my day career, I have to keep this part of my life too private.

 

Another question. How did you feel after your first time as an SP?

Thrilled! fortunately, the first guy was extremely nice and it all went very well. But frankly, I will never forget the feeling of excitement and relief as I held that money in my hand. Finally I had found a way to get myself out of the hole! (more on this in my blog, by the way)

 

How do you react when a client says he loves you? [awkward]

It depends on how it is said. When it is said with just sheer exhilaration, and no expectation, I am fine with it, and just share in the exhilaration myself. But when it is said with intensity, I have to call him on it because I would never want to lead anyone astray.

 

How do you, as escorts, shield yourself from an emotional attachment and remain only business?

I have gotten extremely close with several clients, and fully enjoy that. But I know if I cross a certain line, it is not good for either of us, so I purposely withhold myself.

 

Does this "attachment" ever result in the urge to take the intimacy further than is professionally prudent? With some, I sometimes think it might be nice if it was different, but frankly, I have already raised a family and have zero desire to become too entangled with anyone. I don't need a father for my kids, a husband, or a SO. I like flying solo very much in most ways, thank you very much.

 

Has it been important to have friends, confidants, mentors in the business? Do you draw upon them or find you work best just keeping to yourself?

I have been privileged to have made a small circle of very close escort friends. We meet monthly for a social time--order in take-out or go out for dinner, and we keep in touch by email or text throughout the rest of the month. I am very grateful for my buds!!

 

What would you say to a guy that would love to visit an SP but feels very intimidated and don't think he is good enough!

I tell him, let's just pretend that we are already good friends and just skip that whole awkward phase of walking on eggshells to impress. So far, it has worked very well. (even just last night!)

 

What do SP's do to mentally prepare themselves for a session?

I also wrote about this in my blog.

I put on some sexy music while I run the water to get it warm for my shower, purposefully center myself and envision myself washing away all the effects of any prior thoughts as I shower, let the excitement of having a date on the way start to bubble up inside me. Slip into something sexy. Get out the wine and glasses. Light the candles. Review any emails or texts we have had to remind myself if there are any special requests. Allow myself to feel like a high school girl waiting for her boyfriend to arrive!

 

What makes for an enjoyable encounter for the ladies?

You know what, guys, it isn't only you that enjoys the fantasy aspect of the encounter. For example, last night a new client arrived (first visit) and presented me with one beautiful blue rose! Even though we were actual strangers, it gave my heart a little thrill. It told me that this is one very nice and thoughtful guy. He took over pouring the wine while I put the flower in a vase. We sat on the couch an toasted to a good evening for us both. We sat and chatted and laughed, tentatively reaching out and touching and caressing each other as we did. He asked me up front if he needed to be sure to exit as soon as the one hour was up. When I assured him that I had no other plans this evening except to enjoy his company, he really relaxed. Then once we kissed, we knew for sure we were golden.

 

All those perhaps seemingly small gestures helped set an atmosphere that had us both fully enjoy our time together. Small things can make a big difference.

 

If a potential client is interested knowing if you enjoy/offer a given activity, is there a "best" way to ask?

I LIKE for them to ask. I usually ask anyone new if there is anything in particular he is hoping for, or ask him to describe to me what would be the perfect encounter. Expectations are a big part of being satisfied, so it is in both of our interests to know up front what the expectations are, so we can best meet them.

 

Great questions, guys! Keep them coming!!

 

Summer speaks! All hail the starter of the best thread ever!

 

In all honesty, thank you for taking the Tim to answer all questions asked thus far Summer :)

 

And I will keep making questions!

[Guest o**aw***out]

I want to know if SP, Dancer, MP or GFE/PSE Escort has even been recognized on the street? what did you do, was it a former client or someone that had just recognized your pics?

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

Great thread, great question, great answers! It is, in a word...terrific. ;)

 

I'm curious how ladies feel if a potential client mentions their particular turn-ons and sexual preferences ahead of a first encounter (assuming it's not in an overly crass way, of course).

 

Is that kind of information ahead of time helpful in terms of preparing for a better encounter and knowing if there's likely to be chemistry? Or is it presumptuous and off-putting?

 

Or put it another: if a potential client is interested knowing if you enjoy/offer a given activity, is there a "best" way to ask?

 

I like Savannah's answer ...dépends on SP's

For me I like spontanuous...I dont particularly like being ask for a menu...or specific...personaly i think it makes the encounter a lot more fun :)

Asking for a specific activity is not a turn off and best way to ask is after making an initial contact in a gentleman way...

Not...on first text..." do you do bbbj?"...thats a turn off ;)

BJ

[Ice4fun 78396]

Like most small independent business people I would assume, perhaps incorrectly, that most SP's don't have health or dental insurance and when you can't work there is no income. How do you manage this?

[Bianca Jaguar 39183]

Like most small independent business people I would assume, perhaps incorrectly, that most SP's don't have health or dental insurance and when you can't work there is no income. How do you manage this?

I Make sure I have some money put aside for emergency...

BJ

[Guest c**io**m7]

Ohhh are you ....Dave? Don? John? Mat? lmao...was so long ago I can't remember! hahahha

UNO, the strangest part of this for me is.... was NOT the fact he was a client, that did not not faze me much, the fact he was much older threw me for a loop lol

 

Actually, yes, I am one of those names and I am older...hmmmm...were you in Ottawa? Lol. ;-)

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

Well here goes my question. What makes for an enjoyable encounter for the ladies. What can a gentlemen do to make an encounter an enjoyable time for both him and her.

A rambling question

 

RG

 

This is a great question! For me, the answer has nothing to do with anything remotely "sexual". Conversation, conversation, conversation!!! Before and after :) I absolutely love the conversation before, and consider it the greatest of foreplay. I also absolutely love the cuddling at first quiet, and then relaxed conversation afterwards.

 

In regards to the "in between" conversation time ;)... I appreciate when a gentleman is genuine. Enjoys himself, immerses himself in the moments with me. :)

[LeeRichards 177238]

Do NOT contact an SP saying "so, how much to stick it in your ass?" Lol... I know none of you would do that anyway, but we do get those and I know for myself I just delete them :) xoxo

 

Jaysus Savannah !!! I said SPANK your ass not stick it in !!! "Stick it in" .... that would simply be bad manners. ;)

 

Yes... good point. The shit you gals put up with for sure.... Kudos ladies. xox

[fortunateone 156618]

Can I post a question?

 

 

Being newish myself I would love to know -- what advice would you give a lady just starting out? What's one thing you wish you had known.

 

 

I wish i had known about review sites and the discussion forums. I have learned a lot about how i deal with clients from the phone call, to arrival, to the ambiance, etc. When a review states what worked, what didn't, and I could see the small changes that fit within my boundaries or that small things that I could provide mattered, it just puts your encounters at the next level.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Great thread, great question, great answers! It is, in a word...terrific. ;)

 

I'm curious how ladies feel if a potential client mentions their particular turn-ons and sexual preferences ahead of a first encounter (assuming it's not in an overly crass way, of course).

 

Is that kind of information ahead of time helpful in terms of preparing for a better encounter and knowing if there's likely to be chemistry? Or is it presumptuous and off-putting?

 

Or put it another way: if a potential client is interested in knowing if you enjoy/offer a given activity, is there a "best" way to ask?

 

I am a straight forward person and I like those who I deal with to be the same. No one has to be crude but tip toeing through the tulips about questions, do's and don'ts is silly. Just ask! Most of us can tell when a question is being asked out of sincerity and for learnedness and when one is being used for perversion or a guy just being a pig.

Having knowledge of both parties boundaries, likes and dislikes, do's and don'ts will only imo lead to a more successful and enjoyable time and I think very helpful. There can still be mystery after all, especially with a new client , his looks, characteristics, smell, abilities are all going to be things to look forward to and unknown until you meet, even with a known client a session can be like you've never met-new again. They are what we- client and sp- make them after all;)

 

Additional Comments:

What would you say to a guy that would love to visit an SP but feels very intimidated and don't think he is good enough! (lol....And of course I am asking for a friend!! ) ;)

 

Tell your friend fear not. Did you know that sometimes an sp can feel intimidated and not good enough as well. We too are human;) but also very caring and I'll speak for myself - I'd rather have you walk away feeling better as a man because I made you feel better mentally about yourself rather than you walking away thinking damn she gave great head! I know what it's like to feel insecure, uncomfortable and unsure. Pleasuring someone is easy making someone feel confident, secure and comfortable takes genuine care and concern.

All clients should know their comfort in all aspects is the goal of an sp. We aren't here to judge we want to get to know YOU and make you feel glad you came;)

[Guest P**aq]

New day new question! How long do you plan on being an SP/MA/Dancer? Is this temporary while finishing school? Is it more long term?

[Guest c**io**m7]

YMMV has been discussed over and over again in many different threads. I wonder, ladies, how do you determine which of your bedroom activities are YMMV?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

New day new question! How long do you plan on being an SP/MA/Dancer? Is this temporary while finishing school? Is it more long term?

 

 

In my younger days I used this as a stepping stone. I did go through 3 different school courses on this income, also worked full time in my trained trade, but still did this just for "extra fun money"

 

Now, this is long term, I am on my 6th year operating my small business and plane to continue I hope for another 10 years then I will retire.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

YMMV has been discussed over and over again in many different threads. I wonder, ladies, how do you determine which of your bedroom activities are YMMV?

 

 

For me, the determining factor for YMMV is based on hygiene 90% of the time, and other factors the other 10% of the time. For example: you are offered a shower (politely) but refuse? Your services are going to be limited. Your hands aren't clean or your fingernails not trimmed? Again... No digits for you. Your teeth aren't clean or your breath is bad, despite the mouthwash I always have in the bathroom? Kissing won't be a big part of our time together.

 

The other factors are genital appearance (yours, for MY safety), and what I call "roughness". Now do NOT get me wrong... If we have arranged a PSE session and you wanna spank my ass or pull my hair, that's different. But if we are GFE and you are hurting me with digits, etc -- I will tell you to stop.

 

Respect is also huge. You respect me and I'll look after you :)

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

New day new question! How long do you plan on being an SP/MA/Dancer? Is this temporary while finishing school? Is it more long term?

 

 

Excellent question as us ladies come into this for different reasons and leave for our own reasons too!!!

 

For me, I originally got into it for the thrill factor, the fantasy factor and the plain and simple fact that I absolutely love sex. However, that has changed slightly for me...

 

But for the better!!! I still love the thrill, the fantasy, and oh yes the sex!!! But I have also discovered a way to use my ability to connect with people in a very real and passionate way. I absolutely thrive on these connections, and find these interactions as emotionally and mentally good for me as I'm told it is for my clients. I have met some amazing women who I may not have had the chance to otherwise -- and continue to meet wonderful people. And I have also discovered my ability to become financially independent and stable -- something that hasn't always come easy to me :)

 

So really, my answer is that I'm not sure. But I won't be going anywhere in the foreseeable future. :)

[Wolf Knight 29667]

So really, my answer is that I'm not sure. But I won't be going anywhere in the foreseeable future. :)

 

That's great to hear. Lucky us!

[roamingguy 300291]

As a client I've taken YMMV to mean two things. First and foremost, as Savannah says, certain activities are based on things like hygiene

But also, at least to me YMMV also means encounters aren't clones of one another. Each encounter is a unique and hopefully special time between two people. Recommendations aside, a prospective client shouldn't expect his encounter to be exactly like another client's encounter. It doesn't mean it will be worse, or better, just a special unique time between two individuals getting together

Anyhow, a rambling from a guy who finds YMMV to be something positive

 

RG

[Wolf Knight 29667]

So I've had a wide variety of experiences since last year and I've noticed different approaches used by ladies. There have been some ladies that were sweet, wonderful and provided a great encounter but I could sense the detachment and I could tell they were just "going through the routine". However, there have been a select few ladies who right from the very first minute of the first date I felt that they were completely present in the moment with me, we had a great time and I was left with the ultimate feeling that it was not even about the money, she just wanted me. Plain and simple. To me as a client, sex is just sex but the ultimate skill in a companion is making the client feel "genuinely" desired.

 

Because shes posted here I'll say that Savannah is one of those ladies. She is VERY good at what she does and making a client feel genuinely desired. I know that this feeling is not just specific to me because many of her clients express the same thing.

 

I guess I'll ask her to enlighten us as to how she's able to place herself in that particular head-space to be "more" and provide this experience that does set her apart from many of her peers.

 

LOL....sorry for putting you on the spot I just find your ability fascinating.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Very well said Roamingguy. YMMV has to be included in everything because we are all individuals. What one person views in one way, another my view completely different. Not only that but even two people together can interact different depending on the day and the activity. This is part of what makes being human special. Extraordinary experiences that are never the same twice (even if they kinda are).

 

To me, being with someone is about connection, pleasure, joy and fun. There are certain factors such as hygiene, nail care and respect that lend themselves in major ways to the experience you can have with someone. After that it's also about the person and how you relate. You may have said you do a certain thing but then realize that an adjustment is needed due to things like height, weight, cock size etc. You may expect one thign but get another. that doesn't necessarily make it negative or bad, just different and sometimes in a great way.

 

The best encounters for me are the ones where someone wants to be with me and is interested in exploring with me. They don't have a lot of expectations besides enjoying their time and things flow naturally. I love when you can be lustful and passionate and also playful and joyous. Sex is bloody enjoyable...whoop it up!

 

Additional Comments:

I'm looking forward to Savannah's answer (if she wishes) on your question Chuck.

 

For me, I couldn't be in this industry without genuine caring, desire and want. Everyone has something wonderful and beautiful about them and seeing that in every person is an amazing thing. Discovering what makes someone beautiful, amazing and sexy is intoxicating to me and I love when I'm allowed to fully express that.

[Liv Waters 52360]

What is the best thing about being an SP?

Some of the best things I love about my work (there are just so many) are the freedoms and the flexibility it allows me in my life...I can work when I wish, take time off when I wish, and choose the people, the gentlemen I wish to spend time with. I also love turning men on for a living; doesn't get better than that in my books!!

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

New day new question! How long do you plan on being an SP/MA/Dancer? Is this temporary while finishing school? Is it more long term?

 

I started because of school, at barely 21 years old and having x amount of debt when working at 8.25 an hr about 15 hrs a week...despite having loans and a schoolarship I was living on ramen noodle and always late in my bills.

 

Now 4 years later, it has gain me lots of independence (how many 25 yrs old do you know who can say that they are in school and no debt at all and not being help by their parents?)

 

I plan on doing it for at least another 3 years to finish my master, and maybe an extra year if I take some time off...after I'll see. But I like what I do as it afford me tattoos and travel also :D

[Liv Waters 52360]

What do you like least about being an escort?

I would have to say that some of the things I like least about my work have to do with stigma and judgement....as some of the other lovely ladies have already spoken to on this thread...but, in particular, for me, I find myself most impacted when it has unfolded during sessions with certain clients over the years....thankfully, not frequently enough to remotely make me stop loving my work...but there have been certain moments, often in the unsaid, the subtle glances and words where I can tell that it has been important for a client to maintain a sense that he is above me; somehow morally superior, more knowing and able to remove himself from some sense of the 'unsavory' he finds about my work. I suppose I am most impacted by this because, despite the obvious fact that there is a sacredness in sharing myself in pleasure and intimacy with my clients, and clearly something about those experiences that are ultimately valued even by a client who would engage in this behavior, that it is even an option to to judge and patronize...that there is a currency to it, is bothersome....hurtful

 

The other judgement piece that irks me is when it's been inferred that my expiry date is about to come up, as though being anything past thirty puts me in a danger zone of becoming spoiled milk, lol! Interestingly enough, I have experienced this with a number of with clients who would find me to be on the younger end of the age range they prefer in an SP. So, the judgments, the inferences, don't even have to match up with the reality (of course they don't)....but there is a sort of paternalism there...and, I've noticed that it sometimes has occurred in contexts where a client is expressing romantic interest in me, and uses that as a card to discredit the idea that I should chose this as a longer term vocation.....to somehow make it seem unnatural. Odd! Sometimes the opportunity presents itself for me to have openly challenged such crap, but sometimes, there is no space for that...and then I chose to exercise the privilege of declining a repeat 'playdate', because there is no replacement, no price tag that can stand in place for dignity and self-love.

 

Great thread Summer! Thanks for starting it :) Ox

[emiafish 30979]

I have been lucky enough to have spent time with some truly skilled service providers. So here are my questions: Do you all go to sexual skills university? Or are you all just naturally gifted? Does practice truly make perfect or do you need to study and learn specific techniques? And finally, do you have a sexual move or technique that you tend to go with as your finishing move?