Why do guys?

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm a believer that there is a reason for every action and every reaction and my curious mind is always asking why and wanting an authentic explanation. Some of us just need to know.

The explanation can't be as simple as because some guys are nice guys and some aren't because some nice guys do these things and some not so nice don't so...why then?

 

Why do some guys say they are going to call you and don't?

 

Why do some guys pm you for a date, requesting a time, particular day, etc, etc, then you never hear from them again.....why?

 

Why do some guys pm saying I'd like to see you, it's time, or can I see you, or we should see each other again... then nothing.....why?

 

Why do guys set up a date, confirm a date, call for locale details/directions, then nothing......why?

 

Why do some guys tell you how much they enjoyed you, that they loved their date and then request permission to post a reco but then nothing.....why?

 

Why do some guys tell you "you are the best date I've ever had" then you see they've met others before and after you, posted their accolades about them, but nothing about you......why?

 

Why do some guys post what I consider to be immature statements such as "my mother told me if I have nothing nice to say then" when they know saying such can ruin a woman's business. Why would't they explain? If the companion caused him to be fearful, unsafe, bait n switched, mislead, stole or anything else that could cause detriment to others or the community then it should be explained, for everyone's safety. Anything else could be subjective and perhaps improved upon with some advice or kindness. Why would anyone want to ruin anyone?

 

Why does a guy that knows better, then call and negotiate your rates, ask if you have any specials or discounts(when you have none posted or advertised) or time slots other than the ones listed on your site or in your ads....why?

 

Why would a guy discuss your locale with another woman....why?

 

Why does a guy call you when you expressly post, advertise and holler to the gods-texts only, or why does he text when you boldly emphasize-calls only, or why does he call when you explain pm's only-WHY!!!!

 

Why does a guy who has a preference for something-a guy who tells you after the meeting is over- not make that clear before meeting ...why?

 

Why does a guy who knows that he's paying for your time then ask, "so what do you offer"...why?

 

Why does a guy call, pm, or text you saying he's read all of your site, understands your booking requirements (one of which is requiring giving a name and phone number) says he wants to book with you but DOESN'T want to give his real name or phone number....why?

Why does a guy want to meet with you if he doesn't trust you enough to give you his details?

 

 

 

I'm sure I've omitted some, and these questions I'm sure have been asked and re-asked. Even so, could someone please take a moment and explain why? There has to be better reasons than lack of courtesy, common sense or knowledge-doesn't there?

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Perhaps changing your perspective will help ease your frustration. Rather then thinking they are doing this to you and you only, but realize that everyone goes through some of this or all over time. After all, anyone in any type business has some amount of crap to deal with. I was a dog groomer for over 15 years, and asked all these same questions.

Just the way cookie crumbles. Takes patients to run a business.

[henryporter 1836]

Why do you ask so many questions? lol Cristy. lol

 

I think there are plenty of explanations for all those questions but I would venture to say that its just a condition of participating in this business.

 

A guys attention span is sometimes limited to the next shiny object we see. When a new on comes along we chase that and forget about the last.

 

The ladies contribute too because they make themselves irresistible so unless you limit your browsing and communication to one or 2 ladies its like going to the liquor store and being allowed to have any bottle of wine for free but you can only pick one.

You're gonna check out quite a few and even put a couple in the cart and then put them back. Its hard to decide. Then you swear its the best wine you ever had but if the offer is repeated the next week we'll repeat the process pick something different.

 

The anonymous nature of the business has to contribute as well.

If Henry stiffs you on a deco no one will care and no one know who Henry is anyway.

 

And sometimes its just hard to make schedules work. When you want to see the lady she's busy and when she's waiting the guy can't make it.

 

I'm not making any excuses here either.

 

Maybe there's a few ladies out there that think your post was about me.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Perhaps changing your perspective will help ease your frustration. Rather then thinking they are doing this to you and you only, but realize that everyone goes through some of this or all over time. After all, anyone in any type business has some amount of crap to deal with. I was a dog groomer for over 15 years, and asked all these same questions.

Just the way cookie crumbles. Takes patients to run a business.

 

Thanks:) my perspective is fine, not frustrated, curious:) "you" was meant generally, not about "me". I guess I could have worded it better perhaps, but I thought most would have realized that because many of us do experience this and sometimes often. So asking why is relevant and just because we all deal with "crap" doesn't make it acceptable or excusable, or that anyone is lacking patients. Sometimes asking why can be a resolve:)

[theliquor (Lost but not fo 50595]

Start with this base line, then you will not be disappointed or pissed off when they truly are jerks, and happy when they are not jerks

T

[CristyCurves 169032]

Why do you ask so many questions? lol Cristy. lol

I know!! Lol, I suppose if someone were to be negative they'd say I was nosy, but I'd say I'm curious and interested in human behavior.

I think there are plenty of explanations for all those questions but I would venture to say that its just a condition of participating in this business.

Can't agree there. No type of business should qualify a person to be thoughtless, inconsiderate, immature, unreliable, inappropriate and irresponsible.

 

A guys attention span is sometimes limited to the next shiny object we see. When a new on comes along we chase that and forget about the last.

That I think we all can understand and expect. None of us should or would expect to be "the one" to everyone all the time. But when someone is specifically selected then.....

 

The ladies contribute too because they make themselves irresistible so unless you limit your browsing and communication to one or 2 ladies its like going to the liquor store and being allowed to have any bottle of wine for free but you can only pick one.

You're gonna check out quite a few and even put a couple in the cart and then put them back. Its hard to decide. Then you swear its the best wine you ever had but if the offer is repeated the next week we'll repeat the process pick something different.

 

So when ever there is choice a man will put on their little boy pants and be irresponsible, unreliable, etc?

 

The anonymous nature of the business has to contribute as well.

If Henry stiffs you on a deco no one will care and no one know who Henry is anyway.

Yes true, but he still has to live with himself knowing that he backed out on a promise, commitment, or something he said. Is it that easy for some? We should all be people of our words or don't speak them at all.

 

And sometimes its just hard to make schedules work. When you want to see the lady she's busy and when she's waiting the guy can't make it.

Again true, things happen, emergencies arise but, to never reply again? To never give an explanation?

I'm not making any excuses here either.

Lol. ahh you kind of are-excuse the poor grammer:)

 

Maybe there's a few ladies out there that think your post was about me.

Uh ooh! I hope not Henry:)

 

[shaved 3174]

Cristy if I made an appointment with you I would definitely show.. No if's and's or but's.. LOL

[star99 4852]

Cristy if I made an appointment with you I would definitely show.. No if's and's or but's.. LOL

me too. I think ive only had to cancel at the last minute once since being in this hobby. its not fair to the lady that you book, and not show up at all, and some do it on purpose. that's not my style at all.

 

if im going to be late, I would certainly let you know as much in advance as possible.

 

I used to book my pm only for quite sometime, because I didn't have a cell phone. or I would call to book.

 

now I have a cell, so like most people do, I text

[Ryan1967 1092]

I won't try to answer all of the questions...but a couple I think I can provide some explanation (my opinion of course).

 

As for clients saying that the session was great and then not reco'ing, I think it is probably safe to assume that they are not telling the truth. Most guys (probably women also) are not comfortable providing negative feedback in person, so even if the session was not great will probably say "that was great and I look forward to seeing you again"...even if they have no intention. Agree that the correct thing to do would be to say nothing in that situation, but I think most people want to say it was great even if they think otherwise. Has a client ever said at the conclusion of a session "you know, that was quite ordinary and I don't think I will ever see you again", I would imagine very few would have that intestinal fortitude even though that could be what they are thinking.

 

The other one I was going to comment on is the make arrangements then go radio silent and no show. This is a sad reality on both sides of this industry, I know there are clients that do this and companions also. Unfortunately there are inconsiderate people out there and the anonymity of this business allows both clients and companions to be inconsiderate with some amount of immunity. Best we can do as clients is share with each other which companions do this and for companions the best you can do is share with each other which clients do this (presumably in the Companion only area).

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

It's not personal Cristy, it's just business.

 

I run into it in my own business and I'm sure most business run into people who say they will buy and then... nothing, even after I spent valuable time trying to clinch the sale. Think of all the people who check out an item at one bricks and mortar store and then buy it online from another. I've also had people say they will like my facebook business page or send in a testimonial after I've gone over and above to help them and... nothing.

 

There are almost as many answers to your questions as there are people so what benefit would it provide asking the questions? Put your own big girl pants on:) and be glad for the clients who do follow through and take some solace in the fact it happens to a lot of people. It's just business.

[CristyCurves 169032]

It's not personal Cristy, it's just business.

 

I run into it in my own business and I'm sure most business run into people who say they will buy and then... nothing, even after I spent valuable time trying to clinch the sale. Think of all the people who check out an item at one bricks and mortar store and then buy it online from another. I've also had people say they will like my facebook business page or send in a testimonial after I've gone over and above to help them and... nothing.

 

There are almost as many answers to your questions as there are people so what benefit would it provide asking the questions? Put your own big girl pants on:) and be glad for the clients who do follow through and take some solace in the fact it happens to a lot of people. It's just business.

 

I'm putting on my big girl pants, had to I've gained a couple of pounds, lol. and of course it's not personal as it happens to a lot of us, not just me. But I won't accept that "it's just business" as an explanation for any of it. I think that's a cop out. Again I am aware that it happens to others that's the point of this thread. It happens too often and to, to many. Adults need to grow up and act like responsible adults. But I think as long as many just brush off the behaviors then it will continue:( Thanks for your input.

[PistolPete 61421]

Could these questions be put in this thread...http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=176753

 

I find that the more ranting about 'guys' in this business, they tend to ignore those that keep piling on about 'guys' and what they do incorrectly. Those other 'guys' (I like to call them gentlemen) continue to behave the way they are suppose too, and rarely do we see,read great comments about the WAY we are suppose to act in a thread, but to each their own.I'm not looking for kudo's, I'm saying these threads only stir negativity all the time within the business.

 

It IS part of the business, has been for a great many years,behaviors do not change, where you have the tire kickers,no shows, and those other 'guys' see these threads who unfortunately get lumped into these threads,probably,possibly, are like myself, find it very tiresome at times, although it IS part of business.

 

My nickel on this.

[roamingguy 300291]

Really it's not a client versus companion thing.

Some guys do it, some guys don't

But some ladies do negative things too. Quick examples (not hypothetical real)

-steal from clients (had it happen to me)

-steal other lady's photos and put them on their own website

-plagiarise ad titles and ad content

-threaten to blacklist a client, well me, because he's late (happened to me, I did call her, saying I would be late...btw the reason, police closed the 401) I tipped her for having to wait, which I would have done anyway, but the tip smaller because of her threat and no recommendation and no repeat.

-tell a guy "great now I can buy groceries" (spoils the mood)

-show up late, then start talking about getting a recommendation, after all that's why she joined CERB

-keep hinting she wants dinner

These are just a few true examples I know of

But they are very few and far between...maybe I'm getting better at who to call for a date

And instead of focusing on those few from my experience, I focus on the majority. Those ladies that, well the companionship they provided and provide has an intangible value far exceeding the donation they asked for.

And even the poor encounters, well they have one positive thing going for them...they make me appreciate, really appreciate the GREAT ENCOUNTERS I've had with the true professional companions

So if anything, focus on your good clients, not the bad ones. I know while I remember the bad dates, it's the good dates I focus on and have memories of

 

A rambling from a glass half full type of guy

 

RG

[Guest D***el B***e]

Hummm ... not a very fair thread for the gentleman around, and I'm sure we all know who we are. Are we all being lumped together? All these questions, all about the bad guys. Ohhh that's right I forgot, human nature is to complain when things go bad, but when things go our way, we carry on because that's the WAY it should be.

[LadiesFirst 848]

Hmmm phantom bookers eh?

 

You say good clients do it to, not sure if there good clients. If you book and something comes up and you let your date know asap (good client , good companion). If you don't make any effort to let the other party know (jerk face, bad client, bad companion). I'd even call that person a thief!

If a companion no showed me, waste of my time = money.

If I no show, my date receives no donation from me or the person that could have replaced me.

 

Looks like the people participating here though are probably not the people that need to read it

 

 

 

Everyone should do there best not to be a jerkface. Besides if that is common practice for someone I'm sure your reputation will catch up....

[Guest *l**e]

well...interesting...

I go through all of the same stuff, but with women contacting (or not) me.

 

I choose to think of it differently. Remember, you can't control or change the behaviors of others; you can only change how you perceive things and react to them.

 

Instead of asking "Why....?"...I choose to say "Who cares"

 

If they don't text/call back...who cares; their loss.

If they choose to not repeat, or not see me at all, who cares, others will.

If they choose to say they will do one thing then do another, who cares; they are clearly not good enough for me.

If I never see again, who cares, they were not meant to be in my life.

If the do something rude, etc...who cares; they are not good enough to be part of my life.

 

Who cares is awesome...fixes tons of shit. lol

 

I do comprehend the quest for understanding, so I hope some of the other peoples' answers help you.

[CristyCurves 169032]

well...interesting...

I go through all of the same stuff, but with women contacting (or not) me.

 

I choose to think of it differently. Remember, you can't control or change the behaviors of others; you can only change how you perceive things and react to them.

 

Instead of asking "Why....?"...I choose to say "Who cares"

 

If they don't text/call back...who cares; their loss.

If they choose to not repeat, or not see me at all, who cares, others will.

If they choose to say they will do one thing then do another, who cares; they are clearly not good enough for me.

If I never see again, who cares, they were not meant to be in my life.

If the do something rude, etc...who cares; they are not good enough to be part of my life.

 

Who cares is awesome...fixes tons of shit. lol

 

I do comprehend the quest for understanding, so I hope some of the other peoples' answers help you.

 

Thanks for your reply and understanding.

Most have missed the point of this thread, it's not a rant, nor was I complaining. I clearly stated that I would just like to understand why these things occur and reoccur. Many have mentioned in different threads that they have experienced these things so I thought I'd query some as to why? Guess that's was a bad idea, lol. I guess people simply behave badly because that's just business:)

RG-I suppose I would have mentioned the obvious -that women also can behave badly-but since I only interact with men, that's who I spoke about, but thanks for making us aware:)

 

Additional Comments:

Hummm ... not a very fair thread for the gentleman around, and I'm sure we all know who we are. Are we all being lumped together? All these questions, all about the bad guys. Ohhh that's right I forgot, human nature is to complain when things go bad, but when things go our way, we carry on because that's the WAY it should be.

 

How is it unfair? We shouldn't discuss behaviors? So it's wrong to ask questions? To want to know why some do what they do? Why assume you are being lumped together unless you're feeling guilty about something, lol. As far as being thankful and grateful to the good guys, I personally show my appreciation to them in person and through pm. The nice times we share are a personal thing so I think it appropriate to thank them personally. DB why do you feel that respectful behavior need thanking or kudos, it is how people are supposed to behave, after all.

Quite honestly DB your post could be read as a complaint, you are after all complaining to the nature of my thread but I guess that's human nature.

[Honey Man 12759]

I think of it as the Paradox of choice. We as men have so many choices. It can make it very difficult for anyone to actually make a choice and not have us inquire and then inquire about someone else and then someone else and increasingly it becomes difficult to actually make and stick to a decision. I have made a date only to see a few minutes latter another one come up that I think I might have wanted to have instead. I now take my time to book and typically book long in advance after a great deal of thought. I have a list of individuals I hope one day to spend sometime with. That list changes all the time but a few remain on the list and these enduring ones are the ones I am more apt to see. Because its when I am spontaneous that I am most apt to suffer the paradox of choice.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I don't even wonder anymore why some men or anyone for that matter as to why they do what they do. Especially in this business. If I constantly wondered, I'd go crazy. I don't even believe in really wanting to know "why" because it doesn't affect me. And I don't let it get to the point where it will affect me. Call me ignorant I guess. I'm living in my own little world. lol.

 

I look at it this way, if someone says for example they're going to call and they don't, I don't bother. Their loss. I was no showed recently and was expecting a confirmation call and didn't get it so I rolled over and went back to sleep. Because I couldn't give a s**t, another client was calling me an hour later anyways and we had a great time. My feeling was it wasn't going to happen anyways. I'm very good with my sixth sense that way.

 

No flies off my back because people are responsible for themselves. I wasn't getting ready anyways until I heard from them an hour before so who cares. I'm responsible for myself and if someone doesn't do something, that's their problem. The universe provides me with other clients who want to come see me. I can't even be bothered to get mad or upset at why people do things. I never count on clients until they have met me behind closed doors and all is well. Life happens and I can only depend on myself. Doing so, serves me well.

 

Becoming ornery about it for me is just a waste of time. I've learned to focus my attention elsewhere. Never expect a person to meet your expectations. They never will in most cases or how one envisions it. If people want to be fools and say and do things and don't rise to the occasion, let them be. It's no reflection on the other person they say it to. It's within themselves.

 

Sorry if this didn't answer your question Christy but I thought I'd give my nickel's worth on the subject. We never fully understand other people's reasoning for what they do and for me personally, I don't even want to understand why. Like Il Re, "Who gives a shit" has changed my outlook on a lot of things like why people behave the way they do. I live in more of a state of ignorant bliss where I'm happy and happy with myself. It's their problem, not yours.

[Cara Silver 32412]

It's unfortunate that this business is so one-sided. We put alot of pressure on the men to be perfect. I'm sure if the situation were reversed, female clients would exhibit bad behaviour too.

 

Overall, the great guys FAR outweigh the crappy guys. If someone frustrates you so much, perhaps write them an email? I've found (and matured) over the years that if you let nothing in this business frustrate you for more than 30 seconds, you're golden, and more open to the good guys out there.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

I've found (and matured) over the years that if you let nothing in this business frustrate you for more than 30 seconds, you're golden

 

Great advice for any business, really.

[vader75 999]

Why do guys?....this is going to be a long one.....

 

"Why do some guys say they are going to call you and don't?"

There dumb??? If I say I'm going to to ...I call!

 

"Why ... pm you for a date, requesting time, day, etc..why?"

I'm going to guess and say you didn't offer the perfect time for them...but then they should request the time they want. or you can ask them the time they want.

 

"Why do some guys pm saying I'd like to see you, it's time, or can I see you, or we should see each other again... then nothing.....why?"

Again guessing maybe there trying to be nice or they have found another that quickly...??? Personally I said it to one only to be nice. Just wasn't what I was looking for but I never pm her only to not reply. Thats not fair.

 

"Why do guys set up a date, confirm a date, call for locale details/directions, then nothing......why?"

This is 100% rude...I would never do this. But for the spur of the moment men it might be that you were choice #2 and #1 just replied. Or they might not be able to make it because of a SO. Either way no excuse to keep a lovely woman in the dark. Not Cool.

 

"Why do some guys tell you how much they enjoyed you, that they loved their date and then request permission to post a reco but then nothing.....why?"

For me its a different reason. I did put up a review right after but then decided not to post anymore reviews due to a SP. I am about to go back and keep my promise to one in particular in due time. I hope when it is up she will enjoy it.

As for others they might be trying to get more millage based on you knowing that they will 'post a review'

One way of changing this is....on a repeat with a customer that has posted a positive review 110%... treat them special. Until then just service the way you always do. 100% all the time :)

 

 

""you are the best date I've ever had" then you see they've met others before and after you, posted their accolades about them, but nothing about you......why?"

I have not told any ladies this. I let them know how much I enjoy there time and nothing about any other women I have seen. If I promise a review I will keep it

I think they are simply being rude or should not have said it in the first place if there not true to there word. There rude again.

 

"Immature statements.. can ruin a woman's business. Why would't they explain? ...bait n switched, mislead,... Why would anyone want to ruin anyone?"

I know most board don't allow negative review so if there is no review then the meet might not have been 'memorable'

I think there should be a way of posting the less than average meets so all know about them but done in a tasteful way which will not harm a ladies business.

I think all positive reviews should be posted. Even if it is a simple one. Some are looking for a simple fun date.

As for the negative bait and switch and warnings with theft should be allow to be posted also to protect everyone.

 

"Why does a guy that knows better, then call and negotiate your rates and times?"

Again trying to get something for nothing...free time...what they want on there time...whatever. Just don't get the rules and don't think they apply to them because they have money.

I don't bargain with the price...if I can't afford it most of the time I move on.

 

"Why would a guy discuss your locale with another woman....why?"

discuss your locale?? Don't understand this.

 

"Why does a guy call you when you expressly post, advertise and holler to the gods-texts only, or why does he text when you boldly emphasize-calls only, or why does he call when you explain pm's only-WHY!!!!"

Phone restrictions??? or He's just an Idiot...looks at the pics and sees the numbers.

 

"Why does a guy who has a preference for something-a guy who tells you after the meeting is over- not make that clear before meeting ...why?"

I try to inform the SP before but some don't pay attention to this.

I believe in the first few min the SP should quickly make sure everything is covered by asking specific questions so there is nothing missed. A 'do you like?' chat...

 

"Why does a guy who knows that he's paying for your time then ask, "so what do you offer"...why? "

Again this should be covered in booking and a quick Q and A at the start.

 

"Read all of your site...... understands your booking requirements.... but DOESN'T want to give his real name or phone number....why?"

Security....some ladies out there have ruined it for others and guys are lying and not giving information in fear of being caught or harassed.

 

"Why does a guy want to meet with you if he doesn't trust you enough to give you his details?"

Your what he's looking for....your hot and he wants you but still might not trust you. After all were all strangers.

 

Ok I hope I added some light to these questions.

Honestly there are a lot of cheap and inconsiderate men and women out there that make this difficult for the good ones.

Some are just plain stupid and rude.

Some want something for nothing.

Some don't trust anyone.

And some are impossible to please.

You ladies are doing nothing wrong...just pay attention to the details and have patients. You deal with a lot of looser's but please don't let them ruin it for the good ones that come along. Just remember who is who.

Thank you for everything you do. :-)

Vader75

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

The good outweighs the bad by far. I've met men and some have no social skills, no awareness of boundaries or those who come across as rude and attempting to be condescending by looking down on ladies.

 

I just look at them and shake my head because those who act this way don't know any better and I truly feel sorry for them. It's THEIR issue! If someone is really pushing it, I show them the door. I have no patience for people who are plain rude, obnoxious or offensive. No one is going to disrespect me at my hosting location. No one! When people like that leave, I have to do cord cutting meditation to get rid of their negative energy.

 

Thanks to all the kind polite gentlemen who know how to treat a lady!

[Ice4fun 78396]

We all have our good days and our bad days on the balance of things I would like to think that I have always treated the ladies I have met with respect but I am sure I have slipped on occasion but certainly not in a major way. Sometimes I think we do and say things with good intentions but perhaps don't always follow through but I don't think that is limited to just us guys. We all have some room for improvement... well at least I know I do.

 

Just my Opinion

 

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