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I just picked up a leftover chicken skewer from dinner, and as I'm alone, I pulled the chicken off with my fingers. Finding my fingers then greasy, I wiped them on my skirt. Yup, I wiped my greasy fingers on my clothing. I have eaten the berries out of the bottom of a jam jar for dinner when it was all I had to eat in the house. I will also regularly eat popcorn for dinner, and when I get to the bottom, I wipe up the extra butter/salt with pieces of popcorn. Yup, keeping is classy... that's me ;) Any 'non-classy' habits you have in secret that you'd like to share? I'm sure I'm not the only one :)

Online writings and pictures gives us a glimpse of a persons personality but certainly doesn't give us the right to say we know them. To know anyone you'd have to meet them, talk to them personally, hear their voice, see their facial expressions, body movements, how they live, dress, treat the public, contribute to society, spend time with them. Getting to know anyone is a journey and doesn't happen overnight. Here is a site that I find interesting posts on how to know and understand people:) You might like it too. http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201302/how-read-people

The only thing you can know about a person, whether through a board/email or in person is what that person feels safe and comfortable revealing about him/herself. Whether what they reveal about themselves makes you know them is in large based on trust. If they reveal little about themselves doesn't necessarily make them untrustworthy, it just means they don't feel safe enough or are open enough to share. But the person they are with may not be open or willing to share But in a board like this, with few exceptions (ladies I have seen ;-) ) we are all really anonymous board handles. And some can be really "brave" behind a computer screen, yet in person a sniveling wimp. (I know a manager at work, bravely barks orders through emails, but in person, cowers down when challenged) A rambling for whatever it's worth RG

I have/had this arrangement with some regular in the past. It give me x amount at one shot, then receive a discount/or longer time when they see me. I only do so to people that see me on a regular base in Toronto (or was in Ottawa) and not when I tour different cities...especially since I don't tour constantly. Nor do I except said regular to see me x times a month for that amount because I am student and I tour. I cannot guarantee that at least one wednesday a month I will be in town (for example if that's their day) But...as a client bringing a retainer idea in the mix may be a bit tricky. I was always the one who brought it first since it was more convinent for me. For now you could be enjoying Jane Doe at 300/hr but how is it in 6 months? She could be "expecting" your 1500$ a month (no idea who she is, how much her rates his and etc) but as an SP when you realize that you are relying on a fix incoming for someone...can be hard. You can stop tomorrow. or in 3 years. Just my random 2 cents( which is now worth...zero derp)

Funerals are for the benefit of the survivors. Attending a funeral does not mean that approved of the deceased's actions. Making a point of NOT going doesn't send any message to the dead person. You go to support your other family members.

I love that you thought of your mom. But there are no rules to how we should respond to our feelings, or there shouldn't be. If you felt like sending this lovely sounding woman you recently met flowers, then you should have. I think it's a beautiful thing to be expressive in what ever way you see fit and are comfortable with. How the receiver responds is on them. Good intentions shouldn't be questioned, imo. Happy Valentines day

this is exactly what I was thinking as I read through this thread.....forgiving is about letting go of your anger and hurt....it is not about giving peace to someone else....that is their responsibility.... Forgiveness doesn't mean that life goes back to where it was....it doesn't mean you ever allow that person to be in the position to hurt you again...it just means you let go....

I feel that screening of both clients AND providers will become much more important. No more of taking chances with new providers that no one has seen. Those providers that have a verified presence will continue to do well. However, those new ones just starting out and have no presence will have difficulties. Just my thought.

You two need to get a room! :thedeed:

When guests are here... We drink out of gold trimmed crystal but when I'm alone I use mason jars and straws liberated in bulk from Harveys. I wear silk and Jimmy Choos to entertain but when I'm alone I live in a oversized red onesie with a trap door and moccasins I entertain with amazing cheeses and exotic fruits displayed like magazine food with linen napkins but when I'm alone I live on egg salad and bacon out of a tupperware container. In the winter, I only shower when I have a playdate. The rest of the time, a sink bath suffices otherwise my skin would dry out and fall off. When I walk out the door as Catherine St.Claire I channel Catherine Deneuve or Jackie Onassis. When I walk my dog, I wear long johns, camo and wellies or a vintage crazy homeless lady 1960's fake fur coat and hat with Hush Puppy boots topped with my reading glasses so I can read my bb while waiting for him to finish. I serve gourmet coffee with cream to guests, make instant with protein powder when I'm alone. Basically when I'm alone, I look like my housekeeper and live like the simple, wrong side of the tracks girl that I was born. I don't apologize when someone catches me being less than my classy self because I actually think I make mason jars and camo look good! cat

I drink OJ right out of the jug I lick cookie batter with a passion and enthusiast that is..yeah...shameful. I go RIGHT DOWN there in the mixer. I eat broccoli with fingers. Full spoon of peanut butter is the best thing I sometime toss clean clothes on the floor when I didn,t fold them yet and they are on my bed

Agree with you 100 percent. When my family did to me what they did (four months ago today to be exact) I felt and still feel a sense of betrayal, hurt, anger, shock, and mistrust. Feelings which I still have to this day. Forgive them, why for f*cks sake should I, forget them (not what they did) well I see less and less of them and that's the way I'm liking it RG

Interesting topic. I'd like to propose a dissenting viewpoint, however. I think it is possible to get a sense of people from their writing and posts, though of course with exceptions. I'd agree that typically in person you can find out even more about someone, especially after time and multiple interactions. However, in my experience there's many people I've first met through online forums, and more often than not if we meet up in person I absolutely recognize aspects of the persona I pictured from their writing. In fact, in some cases you can learn more about someone from their posts. There's people I know who are very shy and quiet in person, and it can be very difficult to get a sense of their beliefs, preferences, ideas, etc. But they are in fact much more open and confident in their writing, and I learn much more about their thoughts and personality through that medium than I do in person. Sometimes--for good or bad--people are more revealing of their true selves through their writing than they are in person. It is true that people have more choice of what to share of themselves in their posts, but I'd say this is also the case in person as well. Sometimes someone can be a real charmer in person and in fact more easily fool you about their true personality. Again, I'm not suggesting that overall meeting in person is more revealing, and that it takes time to get to know someone better. In many cases the points being made by everyone are true. I just wanted to offer a different perspective for consideration.

I agree with everything mentioned so far. the one thing I do disagree with because it personally impacts me, is the basic guidelines to body language. Because there actually IS a guideline and most are along the same lines, people mistakenly believe they are truth when they are not. They are a guideline for a reason, a starting point. To make my point, take the arms crossed in front of your body. Many guidelines state this a non verbal communication for stay away or unapproachable. I have met many wonderful approachable people who do this because it's comfortable. the one I dislike because it has personally affected me in both personal and business settings is the whole "look away to the left or right". One denotes a lie while the other denotes thoughtfulness. Unfortunately my 'thinking" goes the opposite way so have been told that people believe I'm lying when I'm actually thinking....and no, I'm not thinking of a lie! lol Point is, as was briefly mentioned, getting to know someone takes time and effort and you may never know "all" of someone" because we are definitely not a full disclosure species. Even the things mentioned such as being one way behind a computer screen and another in person, can tell you something. Sometimes people feel powerful and confident when they are alone but lose that with others. They may not even be aware of it. It all tells a story if you care to listen.

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Irrespective of what we think, do you think police are going to be given bigger budgets to target clients seeing escorts/courtesans. And they will need bigger budgets. My guess LE focus is still going to be on street prostitution. Those prostitutes they can see. I think seeing professional companions who operate discretely are for the most part going to be ignored because they are out of sight. Anyhow, not going to judge or worry about it, not a bridge we have crossed yet. A quick off the cuff rambling RG

Nordic laws won't fly... Regardless of what media says. I am waiting to see how things play out before jumping to conclusions.

Me too!!!!!!

I dont think we could ever truly no someone...Even if you have known the person for years, you may think you know them quite well, but everyone has something there hiding, or not revealing; everyone has one or many skeletons in their closet Thanks Christy for posting that link, it was extremely interesting and I very much enjoyed reading all the many articles from that page

Remember just the chorus people. The devil inside The devil inside Every single one of us The devil inside ah ah POOF earworm cured :)

Well my guess is if your not having problems in other cities where you tour, your not doing anything wrong. As has already been suggested, maybe request a deposit prior to a tour to Ottawa/Pembroke. Some cities and towns for some reason???...seem to be famous, well infamous for no shows. If guys want ladies to continue to tour to their cities /towns they will do their part to make their city/town attractive to a lady to tour to. No shows are unattractive to a lady, and a sure way to have a city/town put on a lady's no tour list. And deposits, well really shouldn't be an issue. If a guy is truly serious about seeing a lady paying a deposit is just using some of the money he would use to pay the lady anyways and paying her ahead of time. It's not an extra charge. Me, when possible, I pay a lady in full ahead of the encounter, even ladies I have yet to meet in person Anyhow a rambling Good luck RG

I trusted three people...family, two I've known all my life, one I've known for thirty years, and they turned my life upside down literally...so I no longer trust them, nor will I ever trust them. What they did an absolute betrayal and left me feeling hurt, not to mention the mess they made of my life. I have four friends that I trust without reservation. Three of those friends are "civilian", one is a very special lady that I met in this lifestyle. Outside of these four friends, I know a lot more people who I trust in varying degrees but now only four I trust without reservation. A morning rambling RG

Once upon a time, I, like Ice4fun, trusted everyone unless they gave me a reason not to. Unfortunately all to often, they did. Over the years, I've learned to be more objective about who I trust. I regard this industry very differently. There are a few women in this industry who I trust completely. I would trust them with anything. They have shown me I can. There are others, SP's or clients, who have shown me I can't. I proceed with guarded caution which is very out of my element. However, it is usually easy to tell and therefore easy to figure who I can and cannot trust. It has a lot to do with actions, AND with words. Be it to me, others, in ads, posts on message boards, treatment of others, etc. I certainly don't default to "trust no one unless they show me i can" - as I would go crazy with paranoia and suspicion. Instead, I approach lightly, ask questions, pay attention. It always presents itself to me one way or the other. There are few people in my life who I trust explicitly and those I do I regard with the highest admiration and respect because to be able to completely trust someone... to be 100% of who you are, share all of your thoughts, dreams, fantasies, fears, hopes, etc. Is a wonderful gift that person has given you as should be tended and appreciated so it may stand the tests of time. That also means making sure they feel the same of you. Trust cannot be one sided.

My deep thoughts on retainers might be I suppose...... I love DATY :Cunning:..... and I also like to live dangerously ;) oops Hi :oops: Jack

Again, great insight from different perspectives. As I anticipated there's lots of different views and positions on this and I'm glad I put it out there for discussion. Although there can be mutual positives from this scenario, the last thing I would want is to be thought of as haggling. Definitely need to tread softly around this one. Thanks everyone.

I have had one arrangement like this. It quickly became one sided (not my side) and ended poorly. Just be careful.

Both. Neither. Depends.

She more than he Myself more than them. Your thread doesn't say much. i trust more my emotions and instincts than those of others.

My two cents... If you have already been seeing her regularly and paying full price, why would she want to take less from you for more work/time for her? Regular income is lovely. But this entire concept can be a VERY slippery slope. You suggesting the "discount" is insulting. I agree with RG in the sense that you could approach this woman and suggest that you'd like to pay an amount monthly for set weekly times. But honestly that removes any "flexibility" for her, and in busy times, she may lose business. It cannot be up to you to define the rules. This is HER business, and if she wants to offer a reduced rate for such an arrangement, or offer more time "off the clock" so to speak, that has to be HER decision. Not yours. Remember - yes, this is a business relationship - but we are human beings - who spend A LOT of money to be part of this industry, and we are not the dollarama or a pawn shop. We aren't a bargain to be haggled over. Be very careful... And be mindful that you do not put her in a position where she feels taken advantage of. I understand and appreciate your desire to want to offer her a bit of stability... But less pay from you means more pay from someone else to pay bills and put food on the table :) Just my opinion!

Watching the AHL All Star game on Sportsnet!!!

I am back into my wheelchair and on my crutches again for the first time in a long time. However, there is no snow in the forecast so I won't have to go outside and shovel while sitting on my ass, which I have done before! As well, if you have to have a week of basically sitting around, what better week than in the middle of the winter Olympics!

My mother passed away recently. There had always been tension between my mother and her family. My Aunts did not want to attend the funeral or reception but they did. Other people at the funeral told them wonderful stories about my mother. This helped them with their closure and gave them a sense of peace and forgiveness. Forgiving someone who has done you wrong can be a bitter pill to swallow. Your first reaction is probably to hold on to your anger and to blame the person who caused you pain. This is natural. However, what you must understand is that holding on to hurt and anger causes you more pain than the person your anger is directed towards. For this reason, it is necessary to forgive - not for the other person, but for yourself. In order to forgive, it is necessary to let go of all the negative emotions you harbor towards the other person. Anger, hurt, betrayal, bitterness, regret - you need to find an outlet for all of these bad feelings, otherwise they will fester and cause you further pain. Remember, you are not doing this to ease the other person's conscience or to condone their actions, you are doing it to allow yourself to heal and move forward.

Jabba your question is not specific enough. So we expanded on the subject ;)

Very true Brad and I agree with this.

Now you will all laugh at me for this one, but you will also try and it and be astounded. My friends thought I was nuts til they tried it and it works. Whenever I get an earworm stuck in my head, I sing the chorus to Inxs "Devil Inside" and Poof. Earworm gone. I know I know... *mindblown* :) you're welcome!!!!

It may help the providers out, but I can also see an increase in success rate for the current 'deposit scammers' occurring if the trend does move towards deposits.

Miss Alice Gray - http://missalicegray.com - Lots of good stuff from kink & bondage to sex & disabilities and how to choose a good lube! One in particular I read the other night which was good for newbies: Escort Etiquette: A quick guide to booking a successful appointment Pantophile Panic! - Your guide to body safe sex toys! Learning the Hard Way About Toxic Toys- Why you need to buy only high quality toys! The Truth about Sex Trafficking - From Olive Seraphim. This is a really great, easy to follow, pointed post about the basics of trafficking.

Watching Hockey on the couch in my underwear eating girkin pickles right out of the bottle.... nothing but classy here. it's no wonder the ladies are beating down my door. Lolololol

If this is true then I applaud the news. I know I'm probably going to be in the minority but seeing 20 girls in a skimpy bra and thong/G-string walking around is silly. They need more variety in their "roaming" outfits. They should wear more clothes on stage as well; they are practically naked already right from the start. This would give the club some of that old 1988-1993 vibe. A vibe I miss. I hope this is true and I'd have a reason to visit again.

I don't get to ottawa often so I don't think I can help you on that count but I really don't see any problem with deposits for new clients.

I was hoping this might be a thread about men's grooming instead. I've noticed that several clients who've come to see me have shaved off their body hair, either to impress me, or because they feel more comfortable that way. However, in a massage session where the client has requested body slides, my job becomes very difficult and painful when the recipient is covered in short, sharp stubble. I cannot speak for other ladies, but I would imagine none of them appreciate having their supple, freshly-lotioned skin abraded by body stubble. So please, if you are going to shave your chest hair, do so the day before your session, or the day of if possible, so as to minimize the stubble; I cannot stress this enough. Better yet, keep it natural! I'm sure most ladies are very accepting of body hair, so long as you are clean. Just my two cents. As for ladies grooming, yes, it is a must. I try to put myself in the clients shoes. For him, this appointment is what a romantic date night is for me. It is a special occasion and a treat for him. I need to be his fantasy girl and look presentable. For him, I need to put my best foot forward, just as I would expect of any personal romantic interest of mine. Though for me these appointments may be commonplace, I need to remember that for him it is a once a month occurrence and something to look forward to with great excitement and anticipation. I think a good comparison would be any pop star or entertainer one might go see in concert. Tabloids are full of stories about how upset a crowd is if Rhianna shows up late to a concert, or if Britney Spears doesn't really sing. For all these performers, the gig is a regular occurrence, but for the crowd it is a rare luxury. All the fans expect the best out of the entertainer, regardless of how many concerts he or she may have performed at that week. We are also entertainers, and must be conscious of our fans expectations.

@ phaedrus, I know it's hard to believe, but believe me, some men don't require it and I'd even say that I have heard clients not caring about it at all... Here's my take on this...As we say, "you only have one chance to make a first impression". I believe that there's a minimum effort to put before a session... You don't have to have to take hours putting on gobs of makeup, fake lashes, fake hair.... But yes take the time - the effort to be well presented - whatever you decide to wear. Personally, I enjoy taking the time to be well presented before an encounter. I am considerate about my clients and I like them to enjoy me at my "best". I believe that as provider, we have to be attractive and desirable. Before an encounter, I'll ask a client what he likes, and if he has any particular requests. (and I'll always do my best to please him in that manner) I believe that most guys notice and appreciate when the sp is clearly making an effort, which is encouraging. When I greet you, I want you see me as a present that has been careful prepared and wrapped for you. A present that you can't wait to unwrap and enjoy.... To sum up, hygiene is important and so is making a little effort to be desirable for you gentlemen. It's about showing respect & setting the tone for excitement and fun. xoxo

I think it is a very hard thing to determine in advance how a particular lady might react. Certainly the idea of a retainer and asking a lady what such an arrangement might cost is not haggling from my perspective so I like Roamingguy's approach but I would be cautious with suggesting a reduced rate without a good feeling of how the lady might react. If you have been seeing this lady regularly ie weekly, then I think you would be in the best position to have a good insight into how she will react. Given the other SP posts on this thread it may be a welcome gesture that she will appreciate. The fact that you are asking might Indicate you think she might not like the idea..... or are you possibly throwing it out here in the hope she reads it and expresses an opinion (lol very sneaky of you). For me personally based only on my experience seeing a lady regularly has its own inherent benefits that have nothing to do with the rate that I pay. When I start seeing a lady I accept that the rate is reasonable for the experience she will provide me so it would never cross my mind to look for a better rate or a volume discount if I wanted more of the Amazing ladies time. For me... this would be disrespectful to the lady (lol shows what I know given the SP responses in this thread). My understanding of a retainer is that you pay an amount in advance to ensure the availability of a service provider (lawyer, Accountant, courtesan) on a consistent basis regardless of whether the service is actually used during the period. It is not a discounted hourly rate. For me your idea is more a request for a volume discount which there is nothing wrong with if both parties see it as beneficial to them. The seller hopes to make more money by encouraging a higher level of purchases and by getting the money up front while the buyer hope to achieve a reduced unit cost because of their volume purchase. Good Luck with it either way I hope you and the lady in question find an arrangement that works for both of you... after all if you and her are happy that is really all that matters. Just my Opinion

Wires, cords, connectors oh my! Good god damn! Trying to get the new tv to work with the new hd box, existing PS3 and ancient Philips surround sound system. About to start throwing shit thru the window! I have managed to get the he box working and the PS3 but no surround!

My take on this. Approach the lady you would like to see about a retainer relationship. Tell her what you would like (ie once a week for two hours paid up front at the beginning of the month) She would tell you what the donation would be for such an arrangement and you can both set up your weekly dates Don't suggest any rates. She'll tell you her rate for a retainer type relationship. And since you know one another, you trust her and I assume by extension she trusts you, it should be something you can discuss openly. You may even wish to have an encounter with her and during the encounter discuss such an arrangement in person. My two cents RG

...but there's not much love to go around .... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pkVLqSaahk Additional Comments: I like flaws , and am most comfortable around those who have them I myself am made up entirely of flaws , stitched together entirely with good intentions

Well usually what is defined as cheating is determined by the person who is being cheated on. Different people have different levels of what they'll accept. In this case, it's probably not as much "cheating" (because you're not in a defined relationship) it's more an issue of loyalty that's being presented. Even in these paid scenarios that we engage in there are legitimate bonds that do develop between providers and clients. It happens. When the client decides for whatever reason to enjoy the company of another provider sometimes human emotion enters into the NSA realm and a provider can be left with the feeling of being jilted. She invested a lot of time and energy into developing a good or even great rapport with you only to see you see others. (She might be a professional but she's human and feelings do impact even pro's) It might be callous, but at it's essence this is a business and as but one of her many paying clients you do have the right to explore elsewhere just as she has the right to see other clients. So....no cheating.