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I've had people PM me and ask questions about providers. I'll usually answer any questions but the 3 questions I don't answer are:

1) How much does she charge. (Just ask her)
2) Does she do XXX. (Again, just ask her yourself)
3) Where does she work from. 


For #3, when asked I'll give a general area (IE Clayton Park) but I am unsure why people want to know exact addresses.  All three of those questions are asked fairly often.

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2 minutes ago, waterat said:

At this stage I'll choose not to comment further....

    If you got an opinion on the matter, it's fine. But I would appreciate if you didn't twist my comments the way you did.

In my opinion, Intent matters, mistakes happens and consequences should reflect what was really happened(if we ever know).

    This thread should be about educating member. Attacking me for having a more nuanced opinion, doesn't add more to the topic.

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Guest kyliekarma
On 5/24/2020 at 10:41 AM, NotchJohnson said:

I'm not quite clear on the specific of what happened here but I think that Melanie said that her exact location was given to her new clients from another member from Lyla, am I right?

If her exact location was given to the new client, who is to be blacklisted?  The new client, the Lyla member or both? 

Both hands down! 
The Lyla member should have never been sharing her personal information. Period.

The new client should have not asked for her personal info privately or even discuss her privately unless it was to ask about a review of her service. They both displayed very unsafe & unprofessional client behaviour. 
 

This has happened to me before and its extremely uncomfortable especially if you are already vulnerable (live in a place with no security, live alone, etc).


This is never okay. I would never privately share a clients, name, job, or their outcall house address, etc. Not sure why this member would ever think it was appropriate to do so. 
 

Quite honestly its disgusting. 

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2 hours ago, waterat said:

Both. No dispute or discussion.

  Let me get this straight. If someone contact me by PM to discuss a lady and tell me her street name or complete address, I should be banned and blacklisted if I report that member?

  I understand your point if that information is asked for. But more than once was told things I never requested. If an instant ban(No dispute or discussion) awaits me or anyone else caught in that type of exchange, good luck finding members to report that conduct.

  Again, not everything is black and white and context does matter. For a discussion about "somebody on Lyla" this is getting a bit out of hand. Can we lay down the torches and pitch forks and stick to what we know instead going to extremes?

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5 hours ago, Greenteal said:

  Let me get this straight. If someone contact me by PM to discuss a lady and tell me her street name or complete address, I should be banned and blacklisted if I report that member?

  I understand your point if that information is asked for. But more than once was told things I never requested. If an instant ban(No dispute or discussion) awaits me or anyone else caught in that type of exchange, good luck finding members to report that conduct.

  Again, not everything is black and white and context does matter. For a discussion about "somebody on Lyla" this is getting a bit out of hand. Can we lay down the torches and pitch forks and stick to what we know instead going to extremes?

Really it doesnt matter what you think or anyone else...it happened to her and its up to her how she wants to deal with this matter

What was done was wrong in so many ways wether you want to agree with it or not

It didnt happen to you 

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I have a two step verification process for giving out my location to clients. I send them to an address of a Tim Horton’s near my place and once there, get them to confirm with me their arrival. Only then do they get my street address. Once in awhile I get no shows but at least they don’t know the unit I’m in until I see they have parked. The other day I had someone tell me that I gave them a fake address that didn’t exist which was totally inaccurate. I am not sure what kind of game he was playing but he was very rude and insisted there was no such street. I said to him if my address is fake why would you post it and why would I pay for ads to mislead someone to the wrong place.  I called his number And fortunately it went to voicemail and I got his real name. Am I worried? Not really but we do take risks and clients need to respect our booking protocols.

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6 hours ago, Andee said:

I have a two step verification process for giving out my location to clients. I send them to an address of a Tim Horton’s near my place and once there, get them to confirm with me their arrival. Only then do they get my street address. Once in awhile I get no shows but at least they don’t know the unit I’m in until I see they have parked. The other day I had someone tell me that I gave them a fake address that didn’t exist which was totally inaccurate. I am not sure what kind of game he was playing but he was very rude and insisted there was no such street. I said to him if my address is fake why would you post it and why would I pay for ads to mislead someone to the wrong place.  I called his number And fortunately it went to voicemail and I got his real name. Am I worried? Not really but we do take risks and clients need to respect our booking protocols.

Same here! I never give my exact address until in my area..and again that is up to us to do that 

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What these companion seekers / hobbyists (both provider of address, and the receiver) did was WRONG. Period.

 

1) Wrong, in general - because even I will be quite agitated if someone gave my home address to someone without my consent (email ID? okay ... but personal where about, absolutely NO)

 

2) wrong, specifically for companions  -- because many use their own homes/rented homes as hosting places. That same address is used for their children's schools, may be other business (I had a companion who was part time home renovator), jobs (another companion's son was using that address for his work), driving license, bank accounts,  etc ... and such breach of privacy can be devastating. 

In a small province like NB (where I am from), almost every one knows everyone ! One of my former companion was forced to change houses, because some people kept spreading her location, and it ended up in her inner circle !

 

I don't know how this can be prevented, but it was undoubtedly WRONG !

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13 hours ago, Andee said:

. I send them to an address of a Tim Horton’s near my place and once there, get them to confirm with me 

Thats kind of cool. When given a general location in the past, i tended to arrive early, so then drive around or park 15 mins ahead to make sure I'm not late, if a place to hang out is suggested its sorta like having a waiting room with treats... cool 🙂 

 

i mean i could figure out a place on my own, just like highlighting this as extra thoughtful.

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I am going to preface this response that I never have and would never divulge a ladies location. I have scruples and enjoy meeting ladies and respect their privacy. Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights as to privacy in this industry. We would like to think that there's an understanding of discrecion in this business but that is not written in law. Most of us clients would like to think that discretion is paramount, as would most providers. The truth is, if you invite someone into your private space, you invite your address being broadcasted and you have no recourse legally or otherwise. I agree that this action is deplorable, but the fact is it's a risk of doing business. Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts . Why would we subscribe to the unwritten rule about escort discretion? 

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1 hour ago, grizzlybear said:

I am going to preface this response that I never have and would never divulge a ladies location. I have scruples and enjoy meeting ladies and respect their privacy. Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights as to privacy in this industry. We would like to think that there's an understanding of discrecion in this business but that is not written in law. Most of us clients would like to think that discretion is paramount, as would most providers. The truth is, if you invite someone into your private space, you invite your address being broadcasted and you have no recourse legally or otherwise. I agree that this action is deplorable, but the fact is it's a risk of doing business. Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts . Why would we subscribe to the unwritten rule about escort discretion? 

 

I am sorry Sir, but I have to disagree. What is moral, is Moral, irrespective of Church mandate.

Imagine if you had a close lady friend/ sister, running away from an abusive/violent husband or partner -

would you have liked if her location was broadcasted ? Would you not have wanted to minimize her risk?

I see no difference in the aforesaid, and the companions' situation.

Reducing risk, is the moral thing to do, specifically when there is no legal recourse.

 

Quote

Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts 

And this is hurtful.

In my experience (& those around me), I have found companion-lover relation often way more honest than many 'regular' relation.

If honesty does not constitute being moral, then I don't know what is.

 

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Yikes I didn't think things would get heated, I just wanted to remind people about discretion, that's all really. Not much else to say..

 

I abort this thread 🏃‍♀️

Edited by MelanieRose
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On 5/25/2020 at 4:45 PM, Greenteal said:

    If you got an opinion on the matter, it's fine. But I would appreciate if you didn't twist my comments the way you did.

In my opinion, Intent matters, mistakes happens and consequences should reflect what was really happened(if we ever know).

    This thread should be about educating member. Attacking me for having a more nuanced opinion, doesn't add more to the topic.

I have read about lots of people who have made mistakes and killed people. They were not given a pass because of their mistake. 
 

Some times some things are just unforgivable and have consequences no matter what. 
 

Sharing intimate incall details like a short street location = blacklist offence. 

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14 hours ago, grizzlybear said:

I am going to preface this response that I never have and would never divulge a ladies location. I have scruples and enjoy meeting ladies and respect their privacy. Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights as to privacy in this industry. We would like to think that there's an understanding of discrecion in this business but that is not written in law. Most of us clients would like to think that discretion is paramount, as would most providers. The truth is, if you invite someone into your private space, you invite your address being broadcasted and you have no recourse legally or otherwise. I agree that this action is deplorable, but the fact is it's a risk of doing business. Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts . Why would we subscribe to the unwritten rule about escort discretion? 


 

I am sorry you have this feeling. 

However my opinion is everyone is entitled to some respect regarding privacy. That includes sex workers. Just because we sell sex doesn't make us any less "human" and therefore not worthy of respect. 
 

But I guess I get why you think that. You think so low of clients as well. I don't have a single client like you describe. And I can bet I'm not the only one. 
 

I will admit there a few out there like you say, you probably are one of them with such a low opinion of the industry in general but most are not like you say. 

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It sounds to me like a few folks are forgetting that everyone who partakes in this industry are all people, who by default deserve respect and at least a modicum of privacy.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, OldandNerdy said:

It sounds to me like a few folks are forgetting that everyone who partakes in this industry are all people, who by default deserve respect and at least a modicum of privacy.

 

 

  Most of us get that. The point being made is that people doing business from home, do it at their own risks. No matter if from a message board, nosy neighbors or simple word to mouth, it eventually gets discovered. And the consequences can vary from eviction, legal problems to much worst. This is something all working ladies are(or should) be fully aware of.

  Everyone(including myself), want ladies to work in safe clean environment. But because the trade is unregulated and operates in grey areas of law, this will remain wishful thinking for the time being. The only way to keep a home safe is to not invite anyone there. For economic reasons, I understand why many ladies are doing it. But at the same time they should be fully aware of the risks associated with it.

  Ladies do deserve respect and privacy. But the more men they invite in their residences, the less private it becomes. It's not criticism, it's the sad reality. It was that way before the internet and things sure didn't change for the better since.

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Guest kyliekarma
16 hours ago, grizzlybear said:

Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights

You lost me at “no rights” 🤡

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19 hours ago, grizzlybear said:

I am going to preface this response that I never have and would never divulge a ladies location. I have scruples and enjoy meeting ladies and respect their privacy. Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights as to privacy in this industry. We would like to think that there's an understanding of discrecion in this business but that is not written in law. Most of us clients would like to think that discretion is paramount, as would most providers. The truth is, if you invite someone into your private space, you invite your address being broadcasted and you have no recourse legally or otherwise. I agree that this action is deplorable, but the fact is it's a risk of doing business. Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts . Why would we subscribe to the unwritten rule about escort discretion? 

Im sorry what the actual Fck? I dont know if i am reading this wrong or what....BUT we have all rights to privacy and WE should be the only ones giving out our location!

And if someone cannot respect that then perhaps he shouldnt take part in this sort of thing

We have rights!

I think i am going to do myself a favor and just leave this post because there a few people that seem to lack respect

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6 hours ago, Exotic Touch Danielle said:

Im sorry what the actual Fck? I dont know if i am reading this wrong or what....BUT we have all rights to privacy and WE should be the only ones giving out our location!

I think what he was trying to say was that there's nothing enshrined in law. But if so, it was rather unfortunately phrased...

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10 hours ago, Phaedrus said:

unfortunately phrased

Hmm... well, I suppose phrasing was a problem, but I don't think that's all it is. For example the phrases:  "people who go outside in daylight deserve skin cancer" and "if you go outside during the day, you can minimize the risk of skin cancer with sunscreen and protective clothing, though there will always be a risk."  ... are similar... but one implies a moral and punishment component, the other a balancing of the risk / reward of daylight walks.

I think the deeper problem with the post is that it equates church mandates with morals.

I'd argue that scripture and clergy have a long history of advocacy of attitudes and behavior that are hurtful (and, to be fair, some attitudes and behavior that are good)... so then I'd argue its healthier to filter them... to only advocate for the healthy and helpful ones...

 

I find the golden rule to be such a filter (or simply a more consistent moral that aligns to respect and decency)... seems to always work, and by that measure, I suspect a lot of us are quite moral.

 

-cbs

 

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^^^^ This.

 

I think grizzly knows exactly what he is trying to say and I don't think it came off incorrectly. I think we all saw the post for what it was meant to be. 
 

 

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49 minutes ago, lydiahardwood said:

Hey all.

I just wanted to let you know that I have added a rule to ban people from giving out addresses of Providers. Honestly I'm baffled by the lack of common sense from people sometimes. :classic_blink:

14. DO NOT SHARE ADDRESSES WITHOUT PERMISSION

We can't believe we are having to include this... but do not give out Providers' addresses. That is information for the Provider themselves to share only.

Thanks again @MelanieRose for highlighting this, and please everyone keep bringing up these kind of situations so we can work to make things as safe as possible for the community.

Big love ❤️

Thankyou!

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20 hours ago, lydiahardwood said:

Hey all.

I just wanted to let you know that I have added a rule to ban people from giving out addresses of Providers. Honestly I'm baffled by the lack of common sense from people sometimes. :classic_blink:

14. DO NOT SHARE ADDRESSES WITHOUT PERMISSION

We can't believe we are having to include this... but do not give out Providers' addresses. That is information for the Provider themselves to share only.

Thanks again @MelanieRose for highlighting this, and please everyone keep bringing up these kind of situations so we can work to make things as safe as possible for the community.

Big love ❤️

That is awesome. Sad that it is needed but great that you guys did this. 

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On 5/26/2020 at 6:35 PM, grizzlybear said:

I am going to preface this response that I never have and would never divulge a ladies location. I have scruples and enjoy meeting ladies and respect their privacy. Unfortunately, you ladies have no rights as to privacy in this industry. We would like to think that there's an understanding of discrecion in this business but that is not written in law. Most of us clients would like to think that discretion is paramount, as would most providers. The truth is, if you invite someone into your private space, you invite your address being broadcasted and you have no recourse legally or otherwise. I agree that this action is deplorable, but the fact is it's a risk of doing business. Most of us clients have less than the church mandated  morals or we won't be seeing escorts . Why would we subscribe to the unwritten rule about escort discretion? 

No rights? People like you are the reason Lyla is having to be moderated so much. This kind of crap gives new people a false sense of reality. It makes them think they can get away with anything. I'm sorry, but I'm just gunna say that if you showed up at my door with that kind of attitude, I'd be calling your wife and having a chat. Just MO. 

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