Bbbj. Is It a Deal Breaker?

[roamingguy 300291]

Although not specifically requested in the thread, I feel the need to post this comment. There have been other threads where comments have been made words to the effect "can I get a reduced rate, all I want is a blowjob"

Speaking for myself, and myself alone, next to hugging and kissing, oral is the most intimate act that can be performed. It is the one act where the one partner is giving pleasure so the other partner can receive pleasure. It is the most unselfish and giving of all the intimate acts, imho. A reduced rate???...if anything it should be extra.

To those ladies who provide this, well corny as it sounds, most intimate of gifts, I truly appreciate what you have provided me. Yes I have paid a donation, but in some ways, well it is a intimate gift that money can't buy.

I felt the need to post this so ladies know, at least for me, the intimacy they provide, irrespective of the donation, is appreciated

A rambling for whatever it's worth

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

Quick hijack....thought of a joke ;)

 

A few years back in school Little Phaedrus is in class and the teacher says, "today we will be working on and learning words with more than one syllable"

 

Phaedrus immediately says " Mas ter bate"

 

The teacher looks and him, smiles and she says "Wow, Phaedrus ! That is a mouthful"

 

Phaedrus retorts, "No you are thinking of blow job !! "

[Guest **n****er]

I'm going to be real on this one. BBBJ is a dealbreaker. I may not be qualified to answer because I'm not even really a hobbyist per se, but the ladies I am considering seeing all provide this service.

 

I dont do FS, and I'm a foot guy (so pretty feet is a deal breaker too :). So it's pretty important to me, as I suspect it's important to a large number of dudes.

[DukeSSk 3430]

Not a deal breaker.

 

All that matters for me is that restrictions are clearly listed in the advertisements/website, for the most part, this is the case.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

Regardless of what any poll says, in my experience, BBBJ by far is the most requested service.

 

Of course to each their own, but I feel there is something missing when there is a piece of plastic separating us for this delicious activity. If I am not comfortable with someone, I won't play with them altogether. Without beating a dead horse and talking about the potential risks, I know what they are, I do what I can to minimize them, but refuse to dwell or obsess about them.

 

With a friendly and fresh gentleman, BBBJ is my FAVOURITE service to provide, and some may even say that it could be considered my specialty! I love to tease and please and drive a man absolutely wild in this way. I love the feel of the wet and slippery skin to skin. The feel of his manhood in my mouth. The feel of my tongue at the bottom of the shaft up to the tip. The challenge of seeing how deep I can go. The tension. And then the incredible and exciting release...like a culmination of all my close care and effort. Yum. ;)

[redmana2 2754]

Almost always a deal breaker for me, but in the other direction. BBBJ, anything unsafe for that matter, is a real turn off for me except for when I'm in a relationship. I don't judge anyone and respect other's choices with respect to services, but for me that reveals that the SP's risk tolerance for safety is considerably different than my own.

 

I've talked to many SP's about this. I've noticed that women from areas with a lot of competition often describe how much pressure is on them to provide BBBJ. So much pressure that they ultimately caved in to keep from losing business. I think that's heartbreaking, seriously. Do it if you want, that's cool, but if you don't then stand your ground. :) :condom:

[billybob 20128]

Almost always a deal breaker for me, but in the other direction. BBBJ, anything unsafe for that matter, is a real turn off for me except for when I'm in a relationship. I don't judge anyone and respect other's choices with respect to services, but for me that reveals that the SP's risk tolerance for safety is considerably different than my own.

 

I've talked to many SP's about this. I've noticed that women from areas with a lot of competition often describe how much pressure is on them to provide BBBJ. So much pressure that they ultimately caved in to keep from losing business. I think that's heartbreaking, seriously. Do it if you want, that's cool, but if you don't then stand your ground. :) :condom:

 

Perhaps I am misreading your post. What you're saying is very contradictory, it's a deal breaker but a turnoff if the lady provides it?

 

You're questioning the risk tolerance of a provider who provides a service that you consider a deal breaker? It makes no sense to me.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Perhaps I am misreading your post. What you're saying is very contradictory, it's a deal breaker but a turnoff if the lady provides it?

Redmana2 was saying that it is a turn off for him and almost a deal breaker if the lady provides BBBJ (anything unsafe).

 

You're questioning the risk tolerance of a provider who provides a service that you consider a deal breaker? It makes no sense to me.

He was not questioning the risk tolerance of an SP that provides BBBJ... He's only saying that she has a much higher risk tolerance then he does.

 

;)

[stanjohn 488]

it's not a deal breaker for me, i do prefer bbbj but lets be honest here, if you're looking down into the eyes of a beautiful gal do you really care if it's cbj or not. also i have run across a few gals who's technique was so brilliant that it made absolutely no difference to me!

 

as for whats posted for services such as cim, i think that if you go to the trouble to post cim or any other 'extra' service and a donation that it should be an all-inclusive donation. there is one exception to this.....(they include brackets behind the service that advises of the extra charge)

 

i respect what the sp advertises for a donation, i expect to pay what she asks and have never tried to negotiate for a lesser rate. if the rate isn't feasible for me then i won't make an appointment, i'm certainly not going to waste precious 'fun time' on negotiations. i don't like the upsell and for me that is the true deal breaker!

 

cheers,

 

stan

[billybob 20128]

Redmana2 was saying that it is a turn off for him and almost a deal breaker if the lady provides BBBJ (anything unsafe).

 

 

He was not questioning the risk tolerance of an SP that provides BBBJ... He's only saying that she has a much higher risk tolerance then he does.

 

;)

 

You are right, I misread his post.

[p_hodson 922]

I have to agree with stanjohn

I much prefer a BBBJ as I prefer the feel. But it's also down to technique.

I have had some amazing CBJ and some terrible BBBJ!

So in my mind if the SP was someone I wanted to meet then it would not be a deal breaker for me!

[renegade 11027]

I choose a provider based on many things but they have to do with how i feel the chemistry will be, not on what her services are or are not- with the one exception of kissing-thats the only deal breaker for me, when it comes to Bj,s covered or not i,m comfortable with what she is comfortable providing,its her choice not mine and i,ll accept that !

[2bigalow2 2936]

I believe it is up to the SP's choice. I prefer BBbh's but some women do a better job with a condom. its a fun way to put a condom on. to me it's the personality and the chemistry with the person.

[Guest **n****er]

How do you know if you'll have chemistry without ever having met?

 

And would the lack of chemistry take away from an otherwise satisfying BBBJ?

[roamingguy 300291]

How do you know if you'll have chemistry without ever having met?

 

And would the lack of chemistry take away from an otherwise satisfying BBBJ?

 

 

Actually two good questions. For your first question, until you actually meet, you won't know. Seeing a SP for the first time is the ultimate blind date. That said, there are ways to make an educated guess if you will click with a lady. Read her posts (one way CERB is great) That will give you an insight into the lady's personality. Also look at her profile and website, and any recommendations she may have.

As for your second question, well seeing as I have been pretty fortunate meeting good and great ladies (only five bad encounters in two years)

I will say having good chemistry made the sexual side of the encounter all the more enjoyable. For me at least, sex, including a bbbj is more enjoyable when you are with someone you like and respect, and they like and respect you. And a couple of the bad encounters the ladies included bbbj but really, in all honesty, it was neither enjoyable nor miserable, they were just performing a service nothing more. And it's one I wouldn't repeat with them. In fact I was happy when the encounter was over. Another way to put it, I would much rather see a lady I have chemistry with who doesn't offer bbbj or even cbj than a lady I have no chemistry with but offers bbbj. And for the most part, the ladies I see don't even have a menu, the encounter unfolds naturally.

But then at the end of the day, for me, seeing ladies is much more about the social/interpersonal side of the encounter, the sexual side is a bonus. It's more pleasurable to me to be intimate with someone I have spent some time getting to know (which is why I prefer longer encounters) and we like and respect one another. So short answer to question two, from my experience lack of chemistry did take away from the sexual side including bbbj

Now that's speaking for me, and me alone, others may have different opinions

RG

[backrubman 64800]

How do you know if you'll have chemistry without ever having met?

 

And would the lack of chemistry take away from an otherwise satisfying BBBJ?

 

They are two good questions and I do have a solution when the schedule permits.

 

I'm not one for one hour visits. In fact schedule permitting I'd much prefer 4 - 6 hours or even more if I need help with shopping, want to see a movie or go somewhere not alone (and she is ok with that) most of which is some activity other than what one can do with an hour.

 

So I do like to invite a lady I haven't met to a one hour restaurant lunch and I think that's all about chemistry and compatibility. I try not to talk about this business, just try to have a fun lunch, listen to what she has to say to me more than anything and of course answer any questions she has about me.

 

Then when I see her again on another day (or even later that evening if she is available) we already know each other and have a much better idea if there is going to be compatibility and chemistry.

 

It's just as important to me that she likes me also.

[billybob 20128]

I am speechless....almost that is.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

They are two good questions and I do have a solution when the schedule permits.

 

I'm not one for one hour visits. In fact schedule permitting I'd much prefer 4 - 6 hours or even more if I need help with shopping, want to see a movie or go somewhere not alone (and she is ok with that) most of which is some activity other than what one can do with an hour.

 

So I do like to invite a lady I haven't met to a one hour restaurant lunch and I think that's all about chemistry and compatibility. I try not to talk about this business, just try to have a fun lunch, listen to what she has to say to me more than anything and of course answer any questions she has about me.

 

Then when I see her again on another day (or even later that evening if she is available) we already know each other and have a much better idea if there is going to be compatibility and chemistry.

 

It's just as important to me that she likes me also.

 

This isn't a bad idea, especially if you enjoy the social aspects of things as much as the physical aspects. Its just time getting to know each other, and it makes the next (maybe physical) encounter that much easier. Many ladies provide a "social" rate for this sort of encounter, or reduce their hourly rate for "mixed" visits.

 

On the other hand, I don't see this as making a major difference in terms of increasing the likelihood of a bbbj ... that seems like the sort of thing that ladies tend to do or not do. On the other hand, it has to lead to a better physical encounter as you are already familiar with each other.

[roamingguy 300291]

This isn't a bad idea, especially if you enjoy the social aspects of things as much as the physical aspects. Its just time getting to know each other, and it makes the next (maybe physical) encounter that much easier. Many ladies provide a "social" rate for this sort of encounter, or reduce their hourly rate for "mixed" visits.

 

On the other hand, I don't see this as making a major difference in terms of increasing the likelihood of a bbbj ... that seems like the sort of thing that ladies tend to do or not do. On the other hand, it has to lead to a better physical encounter as you are already familiar with each other.

 

Doing what BRM suggests I don't think makes a difference in whether a bbbj is offered or not. But it is a way to determine if you as a client will have a connection/chemistry/click with the lady, and to that end, BRM's idea is good. If feasible for me on a first encounter, I would do it, unfortunately it isn't

RG

[nntsci 11076]

I personally really don't get much out of a blow jobs and would prefer if the SP engaged in safer practices. I've gotten atonished looks when I tell an SP that I'm not particularly fond of blow jobs. Apparently I'm unusual. I've been amused by a couple of gals who insisted that they could change my mind... they didn't.

[fortunateone 156618]

I personally really don't get much out of a blow jobs and would prefer if the SP engaged in safer practices. I've gotten atonished looks when I tell an SP that I'm not particularly fond of blow jobs. Apparently I'm unusual. I've been amused by a couple of gals who insisted that they could change my mind... they didn't.

 

 

I have heard it before from time to time. To me, that is a guy who likes more than 'just a bj', such a common request from the blow and go kind of guys. In for a minute, then out the door, imo.

 

For some of them, they just don't like to be rushed, and what happens in many encounters is they enter the room, disrobe, and immediately, bj ensues. Almost like the sp is intent on his cumming now and getting out before his pants hit the floor. This type of client needs a little more time acclimatizing himself. If bj ensues down the road, it is usually just a bridge to the final destination.

 

So covered or uncovered, usually makes no difference. Also benefit from cbj is a slightly less sensation, so more likely to last longer. Even more bonus, is CIM is always available with a cbj. No one has to stop at the ultimate moment, remove from the mouth and finish by hand.

[BootyLoving 2441]

BBBJ is enjoyable, but with the right girls who has great attitude, and can keep up the ambiance and sexiness ... A CBJ would be just as fun. Attitude and atmosphere counts for a lot!

[2bigalow2 2936]

How do you know if you'll have chemistry without ever having met?

 

And would the lack of chemistry take away from an otherwise satisfying BBBJ?

Its the chemistry after u met. i had one regular who did a CBJ and the chemistry, personality wise and sex wise was great.

I was a regular who did BBBJ but I went back for the personality.

It depends on the chemistry again.

When the chemistry doesn't workout, thats when i don't return.

[castle 38816]

For me personally, yes, bbbj is a definite must. But this isn't a choice on my part. It's just a fact. I simply cannot get anything going with a condom on. I absolutely cannot stand those things and to me they're the biggest turn off EVER! They're like my kryptonite. You may as well be pouring a bucket of ice down my pants. So yeah, needless to say any actual intercourse is reserved for when I am in an actual relationship. And I don't hobby when I am. Sexually speaking, when seeing a SP it's mainly for bbbj, daty, manual stimulation, pretty much whatever naughtiness we can get up to except for that one minor thing. (And it is such a minor part of the whole experience when you really think about it.)

 

 

This wasn't the case in my younger days, Hell, even 10 years ago all it would take was a light breeze to hit me the right way and I'd be pitching a tent ;) But as I get older, there's no way junior's putting up with any of those suffocating shenanigans. Hell if I even just pull one out he just looks up at me with a cocked eyebrow and says "You're shitting me, right?" (yes...in my mind my penis has a face and talks to me. You mean yours doesn't??)

 

 

Like I said, this isn't a choice. It just is what it is. I wish it wasn't because then it would broaden my options of what SP's I can see. (Not that I have any problems with the SP's I currently see. Quite the opposite). But alas.

 

 

If it was just a matter of preference than I would have to say that no, bbbj wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

[cat 262460]

I've watched the vote on both boards closely. This is a trixie dilema for many reasons; the main one for me are my ability to continue to earn an income in the event one of these occurs...

 

1. INCURABLE -Herpes

2. INCURABLE -Gonorrhea

3. SILENT-Chlamydia

4. INCURABLE-AIDs/HIV

 

I don't have an issue with a gentleman having a preference but I prefer that I, as a provider, have the opportunity to get to know a guest before I am forced to make a decision. And it is "forced" as I was trained to always provide the safest service - ALWAYS - so anything uncovered is going against years of conditioning and brings concern to my mind. There are few sterotypes that we can constructively work against, STI/STD transmission is one of the ones that we can stand proud on being untrue with statistics to back it up.

 

I do understand the preference and on this board I expected the results seen in the poll. I genuinely wonder how many men will enjoy it with the outbreaks that are surfacing. I know everyone has read the articles on the newest strain of untreatable gonorrhea that is currently under scrutiny; spreading globally and certainly wouldn't enjoy explaining how their SO ended up with chlamydia now that she is hospitalized with raging infection in her girlie regions and she is now sterile. Mitigating risk is an essential part of this business and I have concerns about the disregard most have for the health and well being of their providers vs. their own pleasure. I also am surprised at the nonchalance shown about the hobbyists own health given the fallout of incurable STD's.

I've copied and pasted my response to this thread from the other board. What I would like to add is that if someone isn't in a relationship, contracting one of these will certainly alter your ability to get involved in the future. I have a seen it personally with acquaintances and it's not pretty finding someone who will overlook herpes or gonorrhea...

 

cat