Leaderboard

I'm 'out' about being an escort in my personal life. When I meet new people, I test the waters before I tell them but I don't hesitate overly long. The issue I often face when meeting new people is something along the following. They say, "it's alright that you're an escort, but... your clients... aren't they kind of gross? Isn't it nasty to have to do things you don't want to do with people you aren't attracted to, or who are dirty?" I'm always really amazed that people say those sorts of things. I adore my clients, and I'm lucky to have had very positive experiences. They ask me lots of mean questions (i.e. about hygiene, weight, appearance, STIs, etc) as if this were a reason to stigmatize, or dislike, not my job as an escort, but rather the clients that seek my services... Ewwww seems to be their reaction. So I've done a few things to 'humanize' clients in the minds of the people I meet. I usually say, "Do you like your dad, brother, uncle, cousin?" "Well, of course", they say. "He's probably my most typical client", I respond. They are shocked. I say other things too, of course, but that's usually where I start... My question is for the clients on the board, if you could say anything to the people I talk to, what would you want to say about yourself? While I'm really good at defending my clients in these situations, I'm curious to see what other people would say if they could be open about their involvement on CERB.

"Civilians" don't seem to grasp the obvious -- an SP does not have to accept all callers and can refuse to see anyone for any reason, and do only the things you want to do (i.e., YMMV). Many other professions don't have that flexibility.

OOI, is this girls? Guys? Both? Just curious. I think something that most folks don't appreciate - or perhaps just don't want to think about - is how common the exchange of a sexual service for some other consideration actually is. How many guys have bought drinks or dinner for someone in the hope (or possibly even expectation) that she'd give us something in exchange later on? Pretty much everyone, right? Maybe we got lucky and considered it a worthwhile investment; maybe we didn't and felt rather bitter about the money we wasted on doing shots with that goddamn prick-tease. Ultimately, it doesn't matter: it's the same as the difference between seeing a good SP and getting caught by B&S. Or, if you want to protest that no money actually changed hands... most of us guys have been to a strip club on occasion, as part of a bachelor party if nothing else. Most of us have had at least one lapdance, which was presumably paid for by someone. I'll concede that not everyone necessarily enjoys lapdances (I have a couple of friends who, I'm genuinely sure, don't find them much fun at all)... but nevertheless: it's a sexual experience, it's paid for with cash, and most guys have been there and done that. But that's not the same as seeing an escort? Well, maybe not, but that's a difference of degree, not of kind. After all, when you started learning to drive you didn't go on the highway on day one, did you? No, thought not. I'll concede that more of us get to driving on the highway than get to seeing escorts... but the difference in numbers is probably less than many imagine, and very hard to measure in any case. So, if we're going to destigmatize clients, I think the most important thing is to realize that these clients are... pretty much everyone, really, whether they think of themselves that way or not. I don't mean "just normal guys"; I'm going further than that, and saying "almost everyone". If there's one thing I'd like to get across to the world at large it'd be the level of self-awareness required to see what you and all your friends and family are probably doing (or at least, have done in the past) and how that fits onto the same sliding scale, rather than being anything very different.

I can't speak for others, I can tell you I'm the nice guy who cares a lot for others. The guy that worked hard and long hours and saved his money to own a house and car. The loving husband to a wife he will always love. The man who had a dream of having a family. To give my kids what I never had to love and support them. To be called dad, and to be the complete opposite of my mother. I was an "ordinary guy" like most, until tragedy struck. My dreams began to fade losing the chance at become a father, then sickness struck my wife and another chance at becoming a father was forced to abort due to degrading and debilitating health of my wife. As my wife intimacy and love for me faded my dreams shattered. Along with my will and faith to live. In my darkest hour I planned my final hours and being with a woman one last time was part of it. It saved my life, the feeling of being loved stopped my dark thought, calmed me down and made me capable of thinking clearly enough to realize my need, to help me change. So your not providing some gross guy with sex, your saving a broken man life, helping him get back on his feet emotionally and mentally. I really don't care much about what society thinks about me I learned that lesson long ago. According to society and even statistics I should of followed a different path. Coming from an abusive childhood I should of been a hard drug user with a criminal record a mile long. No I chose to be different I stayed away from the path, I never use drugs and I have a clean record. I love to prove people who say I'm something that I'm not, wrong. Society can kiss my ass just like my mom who said I was stupid. Well I did graduate and go on to college. Perhaps were not ordinary people after all were extraordinary people. We don't have to waste time and energy to try and pickup some random girl. We don't have to lie to them and say we will call them. We are honest about it, yes it may be a transaction but its one that can end whenever I want without hurting anyone. We don't have to pretend we're something we're not just to "get laid". If that not being a gentleman I don't know what is. I think bottom line we are people all unique in our own way. We just do what we do to satisfy a need, desire or fantasy. We all have our reasons and that what make us human. So Nat you can tell them that we are human being and nothing less. Just like them. Thanks for standing up for us!

It's a good point -- but I think that in every case the high-profile figure is cheapened and tarnished by the association. He drops a couple of rungs down the ladder. It's just that his other obvious assets of money or power are strong enough to keep him pretty high despite this. In essence, "he's rich but suffers from a sad compulsion." More generally, and not really directed at your specific post: So why are men stigmatized in the first place when found out to be sex work clients? It's because of that central role sex has in the historical, conservative underpinnings of our culture: it's one of the primary currencies for measuring people's level of success. - Men who are accomplished are "supposed to" have easy access to sex being offered from adoring women who respond to his success and power. If he doesn't have that, then he must not be successful. And if he's paying for it, he must not have any other access to it -- there's something wrong with him. - Women are expected to hold their sex in reserve as precious currency to secure marriage. If she's spending it too freely, she's cheapened; and worse, if she's selling it, she must be desperate, like pawning irreplaceable heirlooms. These ideas look silly spelled out like that, but they really do hold powerful, often unspoken yet deeply held authority in our sexually conflicted culture. Plus, what exposure do most people have to the industry? Only the media's portrayal, which condemns it with one hand (sex! exploitation! desperation!) at the same time it uses the sexual allure to draws viewers with its titillating side ("Look at those fishnet stockings! Tsk tsk. ...mmmm..."). It's hard to blame people who have nothing else to go on. I think the thing I'd say to try to address the stigma is EXACTLY what Nathalie did so wisely in her first post: "these are the very same guys you know in your own life, and there's nothing wrong with them. It's not the clients (or SPs) that are faulty; it's your own ideas about sex and sex work."

Thanks for starting this thread, Nat. In answer to your question, basically i tell people, when the opportunity arises, is basically this, in one way, shape or form:

Predominantly women have reacted this way when I've mentioned I'm an escort. They're fine with my choice to be an escort, but wonder how I manage to have sex with people I find 'repulsive'. Younger men I've spoken to have reacted similarly, but the older gentlemen I've spoken to (in a general sense) haven't reacted the same way at all. My theory is perhaps they've visited an establishment, MA, or SP already, and/or have considered it sometime along the way. Of course, this is simply based on my personal experiences. From what I've read so far, most people would like to me to continue mentioning that my clients are normal folk with a broad range of motivations for visiting me. Do you think it's effective for me to invoke the figure of the brother, uncle, cousin, father when talking to these people? It shocks them, but I think it gets the message across...

Great post!! I am not "out". But I have told a few people. Thankfully they are open-minded enough to understand that both sides of the coin have normal everyday people, and do not apply the stigma. Some have showed incredible surprise. But I have had to educate. I have been very lucky in that sense. However, the general misconception can only be eradicated by more education of the general public. One of which we are all a part of. That, in and of itself, is difficult without outing yourself. But, I think as time goes on, our culture will change its general attitude, to a point. There will always be a seedy side to this business simply because it is a demographic. Demographics always have variables, but it is paramount to understand that those variables mostly include everyday people leading everyday lives. Not the reverse. The Gents that choose to share their lives with me, are for the most part, all normal everyday people. Some of my clients are high profile, so there can be a difference; but the general Gent is just that. The same goes with most SP's. If you saw me on the street you would never guess my little secret. I am the woman next door, I love my family, am active in my community, care about my neighbours and have many friends. I in turn extrapolate that to Hobbiests. It is so unfortunate that our culture doesn't see things that way. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground of opinion yet in the civilian world. To be honest I doubt there ever will be total acceptance. We place too much emphasis on sex in our society. Too much rides on who's doing who, how they're doing it and for what reasons. Until that ends there will always be a stigma. It's unfortunate, but true and wont change. So until then, humanizing the business is something we can all do, to a certain extent. Some more than others. I subscribe to SexBrainsMoney and I too applaud Mistert for being so forthcoming. Not everyone can do these types of interviews but the more that are out there, the more it helps. The more advocates that speak out, both SP and Hobbiest, the more mundane it will become. But sadly, not soon enough.

At Tease this afternoon 6 pm until late 5029 Bank 613-315-4405

A more efficient method is to leave a message with appropriate times to call back or a DO NOT CALL AFTER time. Not leaving a message leaves a question mark. Providers often get ripped online for not returning calls so they may assume you need a call back. Just leave a detailed message about what is acceptable in your particular case and it saves everyone in the end... cat

Additional Comments: Additional Comments: Additional Comments:

And me, if I told people I know that I see professional companions, they would look at me shocked, because I don't fit the stigmatized stereotype of a client. And if I disclosed this part of my life, they would be even further surprised when they knew how highly I respect the ladies I see and how much the connection made and their companionship means to me. For me this lifestyle bears very little in common with civilian society's version of it. If civilian society knew the reality about this lifestyle, they would see that it is a mutually beneficial lifestyle, where ladies and gentlemen are opposite sides of the same coin RG

Soap bubble photographed by Haris Antonopoulos, Athens, Greece. Butterfly tongue photographed by Kata Kenesei and Barbara Orsolits, Institute of Experimental Medicine - Hungarian Academy of Sciences, Budapest, Hungary. The explosive dynamics of sugar transport in fat cells photographed by James Burchfield, The Garvan Institute, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Young juniper shoot cross-section photographed by Igor Siwanowicz, Howard Hughes Medical Institute, Janelia Farm Research Campus, Ashburn, Virginia, USA. Silicon nanocrystals in silicon dioxide photographed by Jan Valenta and Benjamin Bruhn, Charles University, Faculty of Mathematics and Physics, Prague, Czech Republic. Clione (Pteropoda:Gymnosomata) photographed by Liza Roger and Dr. Gareth Lawson, The University of Western Australia - Oceans Institute Perth, Western Australia, Australia. Crystallization of tartrazine photographed by Frederic Labaune, Education NationaleAuxonne, France. Annelid larva photographed by Christian Sardet, Department of Life Sciences, Centre National de la Recherche Scientifique, Villefranche-sur-Mer, France. Actinarctus doryphorus (marine tardigrade) photographed by Andreas Schmidt-Rhaesa, Corinna Schulze and Ricardo Neves, University Hamburg, Zoological Museum, Hamburg, Germany. Dew on spider web photographed by Massimo Brizzi, Empoli, Firenze, Italy.

Great topic Nat, as usual very thoughtful, thanks for helping make this corner of the internet one of a kind :) One aspect that is not talked about much here (excluding past references to superb documentaries such as The Sessions and Scarlet Road) is the astonishing therapeutic, learning and growing opportunities afforded by this community. With the help of many CERB ladies (and one in particular that will recognize herself :) ) I was able to transform myself from an extremely shy, ignorant, unskilled lover to a *badass* lover (ok, ok, maybe I wish that and I am simply a not too bad lover lol!). I have learned so much, about women, about myself, and I have gained confidence beyond my wildest dreams. I strive to share the best of myself in return. I still have much learning to do, but it is now *exciting* and *fun*, not stressful! This transformation would never have been possible if not for the ladies that chose this occupation, sharing their joy and vicissitudes, sensuality, patience, wisdom and support, with open hearts. I feel privileged. Maybe I am idealistic, but this really should be celebrated! So Nat, to answer your question, maybe you can say that some clients (at least one!), are thirsting to learn and improve themselves, as men, as friends to women, as lovers, and to discover women's mesmerizing erotic universe.

The police officer was under investigation and not Pink Kitty. Pink Kitty is still actively in business. I am not related to Pink Kitty but I exchange relevant information with them Valerie

Terrific thread, Nathalie! I would just really want people to know the respect I have for the ladies I have the opportunity to meet. I could handle assumptions that I must be a loser. Or gross. Could only possibly get sexy by paying for it. Addicted to boobs (okay, that last one may have some truth). But I find the stereotype that I'm happily exploiting women who must surely be victimized deeply troubling and insulting.

Wow. Im Speechless. You all make me feel like a Rockstar ;) Thankya! It's Because of all of you that 'Claire Heavens' is what she is. I'm so very grateful. So here's to more ROAR! Giddy Up and get your kink on :) X-O

I know you asked for client input but I wanted to comment here. I think the big thing that should be communicated is that our guests are just like anyone else. Everyone has wants and needs, some that get met and some that don't. Our clients are just more pro-active in having their needs met in a safe and enjoyable way that harms no one. Everyone needs human touch and companionship yet sometimes life gets in the way of being able to have committed and fulfilling relationships. As men and women, we too often deny ourselves basic needs for no apparent reason except that we "should". Our clients could be, and normally are, anyone of any walk of life, any color, race and even religion. No different from friends, family, co-workers, neighbors or favorite barrista. It's not just about sex, it's about human connection and companionship, touch, focusing on ones self for a moment in time. Something everyone wants at one time or another.

Yes, I face this almost daily too:( My statement is this.... I have never been treated with the amount respect and caring in my "real" life as I experience with my clients! My clients genuinely care for me, respect me and want to see me happy and safe. They open the door for me, they support me, make me laugh and blush. They wish me happy birthday, Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving! I have dated, and those men don't even bother with any of that! As for the "gross" client, you have one chance to meet me. If you do not meet my standards, then you either show up next time meeting my standards, or you will get bare min service and not return. But truthfully, this hardly ever happens. I mean gross, as in not cleaned, showered, etc....I do not expect everyone to be a hunk, haahha...this is about a service designed to make men feel good about themselves, feeling cared for, looked after. So as long as they leave happy and confident, then so am I! I take pride in what I do, and put every effort into providing a service that accomplishes all that. There has been one or a few, that I had to have "a talk with" about hygiene. They seemed to have listened to me, as they do arrive ready for a date. But if you are ever rude or mean, then you are leaving ASAP. People just see us a s victims, or whatever....But after you chat with us, you see we are much more in control and have more respect then you would think. I AM NOT A VICTIM! I AM SELF EMPLOYED, PROVIDING A MUCH NEEDED SERVICE. AND THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! Best wishes, xoxoxo, Sophia OOOPSY, JUST NOTICED. This is a question for the clients hahhaha

Girl is a scam. Been getting txt's from a person who claims to be a boyfriend. I assume this is some sort of blackmail scam.

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58!! Huge Birthday Hugs and Kisses, Lexy:icon_wink:

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58, hope you enjoy your day!

Yes, in fact I think it's key to making your point. If you just say "they're like regular guys you see on the street!" then people just mentally downgrade guys on the street. It's easy when you don't know the people being invoked. But when you mention brother, father, etc. then you're saying "they're like the guys you care about." I think that conveys the message much more effectively -- clients aren't just "regular" people, they're good people. Thanks again for raising this topic -- it's a brilliant subject for discussion here.

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day!

Hello gentlemen ;) I'm young, cute, sexy,petite, fit, open minded! Tell me your fantasies.. and just maybe i'll tell you mine ;) You won't forget are time together <3 Come see what you have been missing! TODAY 3:00pm - 11:00pm In the West at Paradise Spa xoxoxo

Happy to see that you fixed the problem :-) Have a great and wonderful day...

Friday Nicky 10-4 aka "Nicky in Paradise" Robyn 10-11 aka "robynxoxo" Taylor 10-4 aka "Taylor Devine" Summer 10-4 aka "SUMMERLOVE" Maya 3:30-9:45 aka "Midnight Maya" Jennie 5:30-11 aka "ASTONISHING JENNIE" Tiffany 3:30-11 aka "TiffanyXXXOOO" Something NEW for us.....let's have some fun.....to Show our Customer's Appreciation on Halloween Day all our cuties will be dressed up in there naughty Halloween costumes! Regular room door fees for 30,45 and 1 hour ALL $50 New Sexy Pics http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/ 3 rooms, up to 8 sexy ladies on daily! Private Dance shows available upon request! Click here to see NEW pics of room: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=3340 New Sexy Pics of our Hotties http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/ Full Body Relaxation Massage Single Massage: 30 minutes $50. 45 minutes $60. 60 minutes $80. Couples Massage: 1 Attendant 30 minute $60. 45 minute $70. 60 minute $90. Duo/Couples Massage:2 Attendants 30 minute regular $100. on special for $80. 45 minute regular $120. on special for $100. 60 minute regular $160. on special for $130. HST included in door fee prices. Longer Sessions available and @ Discretion of MA ...... Tips Accepted...... ATM on site......Spacious Rooms with Private Showers...... Maya's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=M&t=63977 Robyn's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...?ltr=R&t=82591 Summer's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=S&t=45598 Tiffany's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=111731 Jennie's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=A&t=79946 Robyn

Granted, a tree fort would be cool. But I don't have any interest in a guys-only private section. I can't think of anything I'd like to discuss that I wouldn't want the ladies to see, and in fact actually enjoy their input -- it is the main reason that I come to CERB. A guys-only section could turn into a he-man woman-haters club. The ladies are screened before they are allowed into the SP-only section. I can't begin to comprehend the effort that would be required to screen the guys. And how many guys could refuse the request to let them see the private section on their account from a lovely lady wearing just a smile? Ladies are strong, men a weak -- nothing in the guys-only section would be private for very long.

Ekaterina Enokaeva. Trip to Russia, anyone?? :)

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58 :) Wishing you a wonderful day :boobies:

Enjoy your birthday!

Happy Birthday HalifaxMan58 Hope you have a Fantabulous Birthday Party Hard and Have lots of Kinky Fun xxo

The short answer blues34ca is "by whatever means she requests". Many ladies will advertise in their ads or on their websites if they prefer contact by email, text, or by phone (usually from an unblocked number). As for feeling safe, keep in mind it is usually the lady who has more need to feel safe than the client. The ladies aren't in the habit of posting your contact info to the web and (unless you request a call back) you can generally assume that they won't randomly call you back more than a few minutes after leaving a message (if you're truly worried about that, just don't leave a message). Some people around here mention they use a separate cell phone just for hobbying to help ensure their discretion. If anything, the ladies do a better job keeping the gents discretion and privacy protected than the other way around! So do your research, pick a reputable lady, contact her in whatever manner she advertises, and enjoy!

That's what the political Senators said not too long ago. Look at them now.

Treat yourself to an unforgettable amazing erotic full body massage enjoy showers,bodyslides,Duos & lots of fun!I'm 5'8 tall & fit long blonde hair & beautiful blue eyes always ready to try new things absolutely experienced! Click this bar to view the full image. TODAY! Thurs Oct 24th 630-11pm Sat Oct 26 10am-9pm Text me @ 613-601-9190 Pm me or call spa for an apt @613-274-7073

It looks ok to me too. Are you looking at it with a mirror? If so, maybe it's a shaving mirror, to make it smaller again, use a car wing mirror that has the message "Things seen in the mirror may be larger than they appear" on it. :)

My nick-name asks the age old question, who am I? Or in my case it asks if I am a fish? I've been called a bottom feeder, but am I a fish? I live to spawn, but Am I a Fish? I'm comfortable in schools, but em I a fish? I think mermaids are drop dead sexy, but emiafish?

Well done Claire - that is truly an amazing accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself.

Check me out in my Sexy Costumes this Week!! Tonight's Choices are: Strawberry Short Cake The Mad Hatter Sexy Nun Queen of Hearts Let me know what you want to see!! Hello Boys!!! I am a tall bombshell that is seductive by nature, a statuesque 5'11" and 130lbs with dazzling Hazel eyes and a smile to die for! My personality will captivate you while my massage will leave you relaxed from head to toe, and the rest of our time will Leave you Breathless! Contact me Text 613-277-4328 Call 613-274-7073 (Angels Touch) or by PM Schedule Thursday October 24th, 3:30pm-11:00pm Friday October 25th, 3:30pm-11:00pm Exclusive to Angels Touch Check out what others are saying about my service http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=111731 Sexuality is not a Leisure or Part-time Activity It is a way of Being -Alexander HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Awwww This is So Sweet!!! Thank you Miquelon for this Thread very sweet!!! Thanks to all of you, I look forward to posting many more threads and photos xxo

I'm a mature provider as well...I don't consider myself a top booker. I consider myself a selective booker. ;) most mature ladies do. We consider quality time over quanity appointments.

Welcome to Cerb, Damien :) To get this conversation started, maybe you could tell us why, in your experience, "younger ladies are better service providers". What does "younger versus "older" mean to you, personally? As far as your first question, I am not certain I understand what it means. Care to expand on the meaning of "top booker"? Thanks :) Additional Comments: Just another question... What makes an SP a good one/a better one in your books?

Perhaps I missed the Cerb memo where the ladies needed someone to come to their rescue & you were elected saviour of the downtrodden, but dude, enough already. Because personally, as a smart articulate woman who can fully advocate for herself, I find your attitude & posts incredibly patronizing. That said, I have a whole other issue to address. This entire post makes me uncomfortable for reasons that have nothing to do with it's tone. Firstly, it reeks of a fishing expedition on how to run an agency & I feel reads like an SP or Agency/Spa discussing an Escort Industry problem. Because why does a photographer need to know the ins & outs of how to reduce the number of no shows? Again, why is this so important to you? Respectfully, if you ask questions here, you will get answers. Whether or not you like them is immaterial. This is a public forum with strong opinions from intelligent people. No one is trying to be mean, they are simply being honest & sharing their thoughts. If you have something informative, why not post it here if it is so awesome? But just because folks disagree with you does not mean that anyone is twisting stories, taking things out of context or that your posts are considered useless. I find them incredibly useful for my main bone of contention: your lack of discretion in implying that professional secert keepers are sharing info with you, followed by YOU cryptically sharing it here. I have 2 photographers that are also friends. They know my real name, address, phone number & personal details of my life. If I were to read a post such as this from either of them, I would be beyond incensed. And they would no longer be trusted. They would, however, be in every SP only area in which I participate as a warning to other ladies not to engage their services. You may wish to consider this when you read again how you have spoken out of school in reference to your clients. And since you feel that the reco is of such paramount importance that it MUST be written, know this, also, please: by alluding to the fact that SPs are talking to you, complaining, whatever, you are, without proof, quietly & perhaps irrevocably, casting aspersions as to the character & discretion of ladies you have seen. This alone may cost them more in terms of clients, money & reputation than any reco or lack thereof. In my mind, a sincere apology is rarely followed by a comment like this. The fact of the matter is: you got a lot of answers. Also a fact: you just don't like any of them. Fact: not a Cerb problem. Also fact: seems it's only yours. Sandi

Has anyone had any experience with Kaitlyn or any of the other girls from Scotianbombshells?

aww thanks kenny :) maybe we can see eachother soon xoxo appreciate the comment :)

Always remember, never lose sight of it and respect and appreciate this fellas !! I know I do.