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There's alot of garbage being layered onto certain sex workers in the industry. There's a dichotomy between the image of the put together worker, self-assured, autonomous, and in control...no mental health or self-esteem issues...acting as her own woman, strong as hell. And, then there's the worker with no business skills, not knowing her worth, with low self-esteem, willing to do God knows what with her body....drugged out, controlled by a pimp, and needing to be managed for her own good. Or, left to her own devices while the rest of "us" supposedly figure out what is 'truly' of benefit to our industry overall. And, then, there's statements being made about who has seen more of the 'exploited', 'messed-up', unfortunate 'ignorant' types', and how that allows one to make potentially more insightful judgement calls about the need to minimum pricing and regulatory measures....and the right to construct prostitute typologies I might add. The dichotomy (between the healthy, competent and knowing sex worker, and the screwed up, pimped druggie with no economic sense) and the prostitute typologizing are what I want to bite into here. And, I'll use personal narrative to illustrate some of these aspects, but keeping in mind the broader connections between our lives...that all of the pieces do not have to match up perfectly to provide insight....that personal stories can be applied in such a manner as to not blanket or overgeneralize a discussion, or over-personalize a debate to the point where discussion becomes impossible. These are the things I have in mind as I share. I started in this industry at 17 years old. The choices, as I experienced them, were tough and few and I was highly motivated to get out of poverty and an abusive living environment, which was obviously distressing. Within a year I found a decent agency manager to work for. I had very little business knowledge to start with: what to charge?, what was a fair cut to give to a manager?, what services to provide?, what services was I comfortable with providing?....how might my financial needs and motivations, my life immediate circumstances, trump some of these considerations over others? ...and, believe me, sometimes I have made choices that have left me feeling like shit....sometimes the choices didn't feel like fair choices....sometimes, I was layering on self-judgement that didn't need to be there about the choices...hmmm, I wonder where all of that judgement comes from? My earlier years in the industry allowed me to observe my manager and all of the tasks she carried out to run a business, many of which I was too busy to want to do myself, some of which I lacked the social and economic capital and personal organization to do, and others aspects I just needed time to think on if ever I wanted to become an independent (screening clients etc.). I experienced the work as exhausting, frustrating and stigmatizing at times, but also as stimulating and fun (always meeting new people, sharing stories, learning about the psychology of sex), and flexible in terms of how portable the work is, and being able to make larger amounts of money in shorter periods of time. In a relatively small Northern Ontario community, I gave a third of every hourly fee I made to my manager. At the time, the going rate for a bustling and established escort agency was $150 an hour. After I paid my agency fee, and my taxi fare (it was all outcall based), and based on the example of a one hour date, my take away without any other expenses considered (condoms, clothing, grooming etc.) was about $80. This is considerably less than I command now as someone who works independently, in another region, and a decade later. But, I was more than ok with those terms...accepted them and they worked just fine for me, and were highly preferable relative to the other work that was available to me at the time. Thinking back to that situation, if I could have finagled low overhead and the right incall setup, I could have charged $80 an hour and made out just as well or better (think no travel time to appointments), but goodness knows then I would have been labeled by others in the industry as a 'low end' ignoramus. Interesting. Long story short, sex work arose as a highly constrained AND also an ideal and flexible economic option for me. It took time, opportunities to connect with other workers, and reading related literature (not easy to find at the time) for me to begin to make sense of things....to carve out various options for myself, to politicize what it means to be a sex worker, and to challenge my own internalized assumptions about 'whores', while also challenging dominant social ideas about sex workers, both demonizing and infantilizing. The learning curve has been steep and complex. And, my life options, my formal education, my business savvy, my self-awareness, and my sexual development have evolved. Having made a foray back into the industry several months ago (after a long pause away, but still engaging in related activism all the while), I find myself in a different phase as a sexual labourer. I work for myself, set my own rates, and screen my own clients, and, over time, I've had more opportunities to become a part of the sex working community, to fight for our rights, and to benefit from the rich relationships it holds I also take time to remember the whole journey, the teenager that was me, and I have had moments where I've been struck by her ingenuity. Whatever I lacked in business or economic smarts, I made up for in volumes with the savvy that can only come with street smarts...off the cuff, quick thinking, and tremendous resourcefulness. Few people would take the time to fascinate over the narrative of socially and economically marginalized woman if she is working for pennies at the local Tim Horton's....with a Manager on her all the time like a fire breathing dragon...thankless customers, running her ass off, barely covering the rent, leaving little or no time for her to pursue, or dream about other life options. And, few would make so many qualifying remarks if she struggled in her sense of self, maybe even struggling with depression, or an intimate partner who abuses her physically, financially. Why? Because we gloss over that kind of marginalization: cuz she's working for the man, towing the line of normalcy....her purported "dysfunction" is a familiar, benign kind. [And, yes, I am gesturing at the role of internalized whore stigma in this thread masquerading as disinterested concern and professional rhetoric over industry standards.] So, why is it acceptable to make all kinds of qualifying remarks about sex workers who may charge less than others?....who may be following a business model that makes sense for them?...who may be working for a manager who takes a cut, maybe even an unfair cut of their earnings?...who may struggle in his or her sense of self. What about the role of decrim?...about upholding the legal rights of sex workers to switch managers or leave the industry without fear of retribution (providing legal recourse and a climate of social support for him/her to do so)....just one of a number of examples where we can make changes without fixating on the pathology of individual choice, or lack thereof. What about we make space for the understanding that there will always be sex workers who will never fit into the mould of the happy, healthy hooker, and to count these members of our community in as equally insightful and valuable. It's not too hard, considering that some of the biggest leaders in the sex workers rights movement are people who have been street involved, who are or who have been drug users, and, yes, trauma survivors. A number of these people, all women, are some of my closest friends and confidants. We do not all identity with the same struggles, with the same privileges and oppressions, or industry experiences, but we see each other as equals and colleagues nonetheless. It's also been mentioned that there are workers who really aren't wanting to do the work but have few other options. Let's fight for those increased options....while also recognizing that there are plenty of folks in the mainstream workforce who hate their shitty jobs, don't know how else they will pay their bills, and can't seem to get their foot in the door what with all of the nepotism out there. Let's advocate for their increased options too eh? When we dichotomize and qualify sex worker identity in the manner I've seen happen in this thread, there is tremendous erasure that occurs; erasure of the parts of ourselves, our private moments which are deemed unsavory, shameful, desperate; erasure of the ongoing vulnerabilities we experience in the industry(, because regardless of what we charge or where we work, we all experience a level of vulnerability); and erasure of the contributions of fellow sex workers who have and continue to fight for our rights. I love being a sex worker, and I see the work as skilled and honorable work (as my vocation), yet, sometimes, I still am left feeling like shit...sometimes I feel confused. I carry all of my life history with me, beautiful and ugly. But, hey, don't we all? Isn't this ok? What happens when, for some of us, it is not ok? ...what then is the role of totalizing statements about certain people's lives, their work?....does it not function as a mechanism for distancing?...for asserting a sense of personal entitlement and relative legitimacy? what happens when we resemble a stereotype?....what happens when we face the pain of resembling a stereotype? ...what happens to us when the person who resembles the stereotypes is held in our minds eye as a respected colleague?. Hmmm, what then?

Many of the gentlemen have different approaches to this hobby. For me the connection is everything. I see limited ladies and only when I travel. I've grown extremely fond of the regular ladies I've seen and from my standpoint have created a very special bond. I feel extremely fortunate to have connected with one such lady I'm just crazy about. Every since I first connected with Emily Rushton she has intrigued me. However, I had to wait over a year until our first meeting back in 2012 in Toronto. Emily is the kind of woman you can come to know and feel close to, even before you meet. She is very intelligent and witty. I was drawn close to her before we met and had huge admiration and a crush on this gal. So if you're attracted to smart, professional and classy women...you'll likely enjoy getting to know Emily. She travels to various places in Canada and a quick check on her website will let you know if she's coming your way. And then when you see the physical appearance of this woman...well gents she'll weaken your knees. Emily has the most beautiful red hair and bright eyes. I could stare into her face for hours. She is in great physical shape with a true woman's body; adorable sexy curves and soft skin. It has taken me over a year for our travel plans to connect again but during that time she is always fun, playful and leaves me wanting and waiting for the next opportunity. A trip to Vancouver recently had my fingers crossed that things might align. A skip from my hotel to hers and I couldn't believe my fortune. I had that little tingle of excitement as I approached the door. She was as beautiful as I remembered. A glass of wine and great conversation confirmed how special this woman is. It is really something for me to be in the presence of a smart and confident woman. I could easily slip into a daze and spend hours with Emily. After getting reacquainted we moved to the bedroom and slowly got undressed. Emily's passion as a lover really comes out and I loved pleasing her and also allowing myself to fall into her eyes, arms and body. Emily reminds me that a great intellectual and personal connection can lead to amazing love making. Till our paths cross again Red! XOXO Cub

I don't think that there is too much to add to what's been said. I understand your concern for safety, I really do. However you need to understand that (sorry to say) my safety is more important. The good need is that this means I do everything possible to keep myself safe, keeping you safe in the process. Ladies in this profession are usually more on too of their sexual health than anyone else. Tests, condoms, education - we stay on top of it (pun intended) When you go to a bar do you ask for test results? Exactly. Guess which scenario is more risky. Keep yourself safe :)

I will echo Fortunateone's posts. I'm a CBJ only provider. I do duos with many colleagues who are BBBJ providers. I put the condom on when I am performing.. they take it of when they are. My comfort is paramount during an appt in order for me to perform at my best.. and as for CBJ being 'useless'. I don't take offense.. that is the opinion of several who haven't experienced a great CBJ. There are literally 1000's of happy customers in my wake who can say they not only enjoyed it but didn't leave wondering if they were safe or not. This is not to dismiss my many friends and colleagues who partake in BBBJ. The risks are low.. but they are still there.. or why get tested at all? As for trusting the clients to get tested regularly? few do.. believe me.

I am happy to see short notice clients. I have several who only have a quick window of time to see me and when I can be available.. no problem.. These are not the type who plan ahead. If they have to stop and get correct change it bites into our time and they may not be able to see me. I'm okay with getting these guys change for 10-20 bucks if I have it handy. They are okay not getting it if I don't. It's the ones that feel entitled that ladies are referring to as cheap. If you are the former.. you are feeling slighted that ladies might think you are 'cheap'. Thinking ahead isn't always possible when someone thinks with their 'little head'. I don't mind those types of clients for the most part. I'm a go with the flow kind of girl if respect is foremost in the intention. As for disabled clients.. most of mine are so disabled that an attendant has the fee put away for me somewhere discrete. The client doesn't even handle the money! I recently even had a female friend of mine who contributed funds for a disabled neighbor of hers in her building so he could afford to see me! So I don't see what being disabled or financially challenged has to do with it.. they prepare even more than the able bodied person for a visit.. certainly not a fly by the seat of their pants encounter. I've never needed to give a disable person change. 99% of my clients are fully abled..thankfully those that ask for change.. I mention I will look for it at the end and quickly get back to other things.. so I'm not distracted. I search after.. while I put my robe on and they are getting dressed.. no time wasted.

Communication both verbal and written can play a huge part in the level of sexual excitement that exists between two people... some people, like Delilah, are experts in using words to heighten the intensity of sexual attraction... if you don't believe me take a few minutes to go back and read some of her ads. For me personally it is not so much the specific things that a partner says that make it sexy it is the honesty of the communication.... and the timing of the communication. When I am going to meet a beautiful lady and she messages me with specific details of what she wants us to do it can be an amazing turn on... it is not necessarily the graphic nature of the words but the knowledge of how those thoughts and images are impacting each of us. It also clearly sets the tone for the encounter and if it is with a new partner helps set expectations for both of us. Knowing what a partner likes and wants sexually is always a huge advantage. In terms of communication during the actual session.... the more the better.... if you want something I love for you to tell me.... if I'm doing something right... let me know... if it's not working for you there is nothing better than a dirty suggestion to help me move along. Often when people think of dirty talk during sex they imagine someone screaming in passion.... while I am fine with that if it is what floats your boat... i think of it being more about honest intentional communication of our wants and needs both before and during the session. If you want me to turn you around and fuck you hard from behind while I pull your hair tell me....because I will certainly tell you if that's what I want to do. As with most relationships full unfiltered communication does not just immediately happen... people tend to hold back initially until they get to know the other person... they want to make a good impression so they are careful in what they say and do. that's why I am a big supporter of having good communication with the lady before you actually meet.... then when you do meet... you feel comfortable.... the jitters are gone and you will have established a trust and comfort level that will allow honest communicate of your desires. Hey who wants to wait till the second hour of that first appointment to be comfortable enough to say that you have dreamed of exploring her amazing ass with your tongue for the last 3 weeks or that you want to look into her beautiful eyes as your cock fills her throat. I for one kinda think those thoughts are better said at the start of the session just imagine where they may lead. Just my opinion

My mommy sharing her awesome recipes with me on the phone because she wants me to eat well :)

I absolutely wish there were MORE female clients interested in visiting with female SP's one on one!!!

I just got home after having dinner out with my Aunt and Uncle. They are in their 80's. I have not seen then in over 25 years. They are from southern Ontario. It was so good seeing them again. :) They do no look a day over 50. I hope I look that good when I am their age.

1. You don't 2. Like you want to pay for the (free) test available to everyone? how's that going to work. You understand it takes a week for results, during which time sps are seeing other clients? Or are you saying you are willing to take her out of the work place, paying for her entire week's income while you both wait for the results. And when you do get them/see them, what is the kind of services you expect now that you 'know'. Oh and, what are you doing during all this wait time?? Got your results in hand, and a guarantee of not doing or seeing anyone? 3. NO, no amount of advice on how to 'get it done' will replace my answer #2 lol 4. I hope not. It is a very manipulative thing for any client to require, and a very useless thing for an sp to present anyway (see #2) When was your last test, and what is your sexual history since then btw, and going back to #2 what kind of services are you expecting from this sp with the clean test results?

Absolutely inappropriate and insulting if you asked a lady for her test results, or if she is D&D free. Just as it would be equally inappropriate and insulting for her to ask you for your test results and if you are D&D free YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH IS YOUR RESPONSIBILTY Up to you to get yourself tested But asking a lady about her test results and health status will likely end up in you being declined a date RG

Hey Cats, Exams are over so I finally have more time to peeve. As a new member, I love CERB. I can check adds, see recommendations, get advice. Most of all, it's great seeing the ladies interact on the boards. I like knowing that they are established professionals. One thing I miss here that other sites have is info on who the laddies service (ex: males, females, clps). As a female hobbyist (pre CERB), I have had mixed reception in calling to ask. Thought I would try posting here. Any recommendations from Hobbyists or professionals. Cheers Jane

I have been known to toss a few choice words while with a lady, but firstly I'm more of the type that will initiate dirty talk through text/email providing both the lady and I are cool with it. There is nothing like acting out certain things said through pm's/email/texts especially when you both know exactly what will happen or it happens without any kinda notice to either one. Examples- * She is push up against the wall facing into the wall, and I tug on her hair pulling her head back, kiss her madly, and then tell her in her ear "I'm going to rip your fucking panties off right now and worship your sexy ass" ** I'm standing at the edge of the bed after giving her long oral foreplay, and she soaking wet, the condom is on, and I take my cock in my hand and tease her pussy with the head of my cock all around her pussy and say " You fucking like my cock don't you? You want me to shove in deep into you now? Or would you like me to fucking tease you more? " Then shove it in deep, grind away for a few strokes then pull it out again, then do it again..again..with more teasing words to her. *** She is riding me cowgirl then comes down for some long DFK, and I tell her, "Yes right fucking there, sweetheart, fuck me, grind me deep into you and make me cum..YES.. just like that you dirty girl"....."you like my cock don't you, yes..baby fucking make me CUM" **** I take my thick finger out of her wet pussy, and her cum is stuck to my finger, and I take my finger up to her mouth and say "See, the cum, taste yourself, you fucking taste delicious, as she sucks your finger off" and then I lick my finger right after her. ***** She is giving you a BJ and grab her hair tightly wrap it into a pony tail, or if she has short hair, grab the back of her head then shove her hard against your groin area, and pull her head back at times and say to her " You like sucking my cock don't you? Do like my cock? yes that's a good girl, take it all in, and please suck my nuts too, I fucking love that too" Yes there is so much dirty talk, and yes I have said a lot more and a lot worse then above examples, because it can really heighten the experience. BUT...always make sure that the lady you are with, you are both good with it and have spent at least a couple times with each other to get to that comfort level. It is a lot fun, and can be very very erotic. Now you get into other play like BDSM well that is an entire different type of play time with some really bad/dirty/raunchy talk.

I am one who is not very good at providing dirty talk. I am practicing and getting better but it's not something I am great at. Now that being said, when a man does it to me? Oh fuck... "Mind fucking", as I call it, has been known to send me into wave over wave of orgasm. If I am engaged in intercourse with someone and they start talking dirty to me... Im over the top in no time!!!!

Writing and Reading a recent recommendation I wrote. I know it may sound silly compared to the highlight of the encounter. But sometimes reading the written word just brings back such fond memories that I find myself smiling. Thanks Red!

I love dirty talk no matter the format. I will say that since starting out as an SP my written dirty talk has increased while my verbal has decreased. I know part of the reason is that when I am with someone who is not very verbal or vocal, I restrain myself. I know there have been times it has been requested of me and the person had been so quiet that I had forgotten until halfway through. The more open someone is to me, the more comfortable I feel being expressive about needs, wants and desires. I feed off others so there is a lot of giving and receiving. It IS rather difficult to talk with my mouth full however you can be almost guaranteed that as I worship you I have thoughts running through my head about the taste and hard silkiness of your cock gliding over my tongue, forcing it's way into my throat and making me moan in need. And when you react to me with words or noises I'm panting in my mind for the reactions I'm causing and my lady bits are throbbing in anticipation.

I recall the times and they were quite recent that a bbbj was virtually non-existent. It never occurred to me to request this service prior to booking, during the session or after. But I would say almost all the providers (more than 30) I saw performed them unsolicited. I was quite surprised. One of the reasons I didn't write many reviews or reco's was I didn't think it was appropriate to comment on something that at the time I didn't know was regularly provided. I guess I thought I was special....lol Now it's openly spoken about, offered, advertised, often expected and maybe even a deal breaker for some. Not real sure why or even when this shift has occurred but it did, maybe a newer generation of players are just more open about it. Peace MG

What a lady offers is her boundary, what she is comfortable with. Whether it is her rate or her services, it is what she offers and is her boundaries. Asking for a different service or rates, IMHO is all akin to negotiating and inappropriate. If the lady offers something different to a specific client that she normally doesn't offer that is a different story, but since the boundaries are hers, she is the one who can bend/break them for a client. It isn't up to a client to ask her to bend/break them for him. Just my opinion RG

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I'm not sure people understand how what they say gets interpreted. I'm going to take a shot a couple of things here and if my guess is wrong, someone, especially the SPs, correct me. This statement diminishes, minimizes, and completely dismisses fortunateone's outlook, feelings, and perceptions. You may feel there is no need for resentment. The provider, fortunateone, clearly states this causes her resentment. The inference is that she should modify her feelings because you have told her not to feel this way. Yes, this is the second time in this discussion you've said this. You must have very different experiences than I. Can you help the casual reader to understand how you've arrived at this fact? Perhaps you could quantify the number of times you've received services specifically proscribed on the SPs site i.e. Site: No Greek! You: Hey, how about some Greek. SP: Sure thing - hop on! Or Site: CBJ or CBJ Only or Safe Sex Only. You: How's about we pop that thingy in there without the hood? SP: Say no more! Mmmppphh.. Three times out of five? Seven times out of eight? I'm genuinely curious. Perhaps I should change my approach. You do not imply or intend to exert pressure through your legitimate straightforward question. However, every communication has two components. That which the speaker intends and the manner in which the recipient receives it. fortunateone clearly states she sees this as carrot dangling and goes on to explain why. Stating that it should not be perceived as carrot dangling brings us back to the first point. The statement diminishes, minimizes, and completely dismisses fortunateone's outlook, feelings, and perceptions. As I said at the beginning, these are just my perceptions. Make of them as you will.

If I'm not mistaken, also including HIV testing, it can usually take 2-12 weeks for a result, but in some patients up to 6 months for test results to come in (anyone know different for fact please correct me) Are companions supposed to be completely celibate (including husband/bf/cl for 6 months, and are you going to be completely celibate for 6 months, including wife/gf/cl or conventional dating. I can't envision any companion doing that just to see you, or any client, nor can I imagine any client doing the same just to see one lady RG

I personally, as a cbj provider, a cbj advertiser, and giving a cbj on first visits, resent being asked this before, during or after a session, or even as a prelude to booking a 2nd appt, like when someone calls to see if i'm available, sets up an appt, and while on the phone might ask this. It is a clear case, to me, of carrot dangling, a lure that this guy is not going to show up or book another appt unless they get that bbbj. if you see someone who advertises cbj, and provided it in session, without the pressure of someone asking for more and possibly doing it out of concern for losing the appt, don't ever ask for more. An sp who makes exceptions will let you know. If you expect or need more than what is freely provided, just do not book the appt in the first place if you expect that her advertised restrictions are not restrictions at all.

Hmmm. A visit to the doctor for blood tests every 3-6 months could potentially result in a 3-6 month backlog of people that the Health Department has to call on your behalf. This will not look good on a resume. In Vegas. England, etc. the trip to the doctor is made once a month, if not more often (I have heard of once a week). My MD is very supportive, and once a month - or less - is no problem. I personally would be very cautious about a new client demanding BBBJ's during the first few visits. It's not the only fun with your gun. I want to have a limited number of clients and let things evolve. Besides, there are some very creative and salacious activities one can enjoy with a covered cap......but that's another thread! Cheers, Ann

when I'm on my knees;) they are all taller. I hope you don't mind me responding:) I love height, I come from a tall family and I am considered short by their standards. Perhaps that's why I'm so comfortable in heels. I have met some very sexy men that are on the shorter side, so long as he has confidence then I'll find him attractive no matter his elevation:)

A clean bbbj is an oxymoron. Mouths are notoriously full of all kinds of microscopic wigglies. There are many providers to choose from who offer the service; many of them will be std/sti free but you can't tell who is and who isn't. There is no "on the spot" test to see if at this moment something lurks in her throat. Christy is right, this is something you have to educate yourself on. Speak with your doctor, read the public health information and then think on the best choice for your situation. What I will suggest is that when you find the provider, don't ask "Are you clean?". It's not a good way to start off an experience. My second suggestion is that when the "Oh my God, what have I done?" wave hits you afterwards, don't contact your provider asking if you should go get tested... cat

I'm the self proclaimed Queen of Cuddles - hee hee!! :icon_lol: If a gent is not interested in snuggles, it sort of makes me feel...well, just not very nice. Compatibility is key in a fun, successful session - I loves my Snuggle Bunnies! ;)

Well a suggestion, Savannah Lane tours to Nova Scotia and Lexy Grace is in Halifax. Just judging from their posts you have two ladies you could contact. And, while perusing websites, if there is a lady comfortable doing MFF ménage a trois, or seeing married couples then she may also be receptive to seeing a female client. Just let the companion know when you first contact her that you are a lady. Finally, after your encounter write a recommendation, I'm sure the lady would appreciate it A rambling from a guy RG

Savannah you are so right and I couldn't agree more! That would be just so lovely:icon_wink:

I'm all for some dirty talk if the SP is comfortable with it, dirty talk from a lady would definitely tell me I am pleasing her whatever I am doing at the time whether it's light kisses on the back of the neck, or giving her pussy light strokes with my tongue nothing gets me more excited then hearing "feel me I am so wet from sucking your cock" in a moaning voice, I love it bring it on please. Another big reason it's exciting for me I don't hear very much dirty talk in my regular sex life.

I tend to hold back the dirty talk until I'm confortable with my client...If he's a dirty talker...just like Savannah...it dirves me crazy! I have some great memories of a man whispering in my ear as he walked in my incall...As I turned around, he came behind me and whipered sofly with a manly voice how bad he wanted to fuck me...omg that gave me instant goosbumps and was wet in a blink of an eye lol... Since I've started as a provider, most my clients are English speaking so I have learned to dirty talk in English...it feels weird when someone asks me to talk dirty in french...for me it doesn't sound as dirty ;) Great thread Delilah! BJ

Ok first off I will admit that his is not a topic that I know much about but my understanding is as follows: Service providers get tested regularly to look after their own health...when they do so i don't expect to see the results it just lets me know they are serious about both their business and their health.. both are good things for me too The testing process is not like a pregnancy test where they pee on a stick and voila we have results...so its not a tool that can be used on the day of the booking to protect yourself.. there are things you can do to reduce your risk (condoms etc) but testing is not going to do it for you. When you choose... thats right choose... to participate in this hobby you assume some risk... really no different than other choices you make. but they are your chouces and your risks... asking for test results is trying to place this responsibility on the lady and to be frank... she has enough things to think about without managing our risk. Finally.... if the risk scares you... maybe you should not participate in the industry. Bottom line the choice is yours. Just my opinion.

I have never been faced with this situation as the ladies I have met have all been exactly what I expected...lol...actually in most cases even better. If I was ever in a situation where I decided not to continue I think my approach might be determined by what the issue was. If I was faced with a bait and Switch I would not feel any obligation to compensate the lady. I would politely explain that I was expecting someone else and therfore not interested in continuing. If my reason for leaving related more to my personal choice I would feel it would be appropriate for me to fully compensate the lady for her time. I think the reason I have never been faced with this is the fact that I have tended to see the same ladies repeatedly and after a fair amount of homework.

I love the last line of the article: "When the slut-shaming stops, everyone is likely to get laid more." This should be self-evident. The whole discussion takes me back to when I was initially exploring my place in the sexual world way back in the last century. Past of the educational process was you were looking for two types of girls. The ones that would "put out" and the ones you'd take home to mother. The two groups were mutually exclusive. The girls who, for whatever reason, enjoyed exercising their sexuality in a way known to the public were ostracized by the "good girls" and were to be avoided by the "good boys". The Good Boys, of course, were always looking to hook up with the slutty girls - just in a way where they wouldn't get caught. Some of us skipped school the day they were teaching that so instead, we grew up treating women as equals in all ways, including sexuality. So we missed out on the whole seduction thing and the "getting her to go all the way" game. Instead, in my formative years and all the years since, I've had a steady stream of sexual partners all of whom came into the encounter willingly and hopefully came away feeling they were treated fairly. Today, when I'm driving mixed gender groups on their nights out, I hear what some of the guys say to each other and observe how they treat the women in the group and give my head a shake. I've seen this movie before.

Big meat hangers? A classy reply like that is sure going to get you a lot of attention! Posted via Mobile Device

Call me a fan, though it would probably surprise most people that know me. I'm generally more reserved, so can take a bit of time for me to feel comfortable to talk dirty myself. On the flipside, always happy to hear a lady talk...well...not-so ladylike. Naughtiness and confidence are both turn-ons, and talking dirty encapsulates both. Promises of delight...passionate orders...graphic exclamations...please! Of course, like a lot of things some people enjoy, it can depend on mood and comfort, and it's generally better to start light. That is, if the moment I met a lady she started talking hardcore dirty, it could be off-putting. Kind of like how some people enjoy being spanked but it would be a bit odd to start off full throttle the moment someone bends down to take off their shoes. But as things take their course and get revved up, the hotter dirty talk becomes, which in turn makes things more exciting, which...well, it can be a wonderful cycle! You might want to take a peek at the social group on the topic: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=88

A tooth ache on good friday and no dentist until monday...ugh!

Call me naive if you want but I would think that if there was any health issues that could be passed along to the gentleman, I would hope the lady would bring it up. The same for the gentleman visiting... If he had any issues I would hope that he let the lady know about it. STD, hepatitis etc.... I believe that we trust each other enough without having to see any health certificate or other health form.... Just saying!

One other thing, if you can't turn off your computer disconnect it from power. If a laptop, unplug and then remove the battery, if a desktop unplug it from the wall. A thought, also turn off your modem But I must remember ALT+F4 File that with CTRL+ALT+DELETE. Thanks Savannah for that bit of info RG

Been empty nesters for a few months and now the kids moved back from college for the summer. :frown: Okay......I'M KIDDING!!!! THEY'RE HOME AND HELPING ON THE FARM AGAIN!!! Lol Gawd....long winter and short of help, so good to have them back.

I've been reading this thread closely and, while the discussion has been frank, sometimes blunt, and there are strong and conflicting opinions, it's been pretty civil. It's been valuable to me to read these different yet honest views of real, live women who do sex work for a living and each know what they're talking about. Although I can see how this might make some people (especially consumers) uncomfortable, I disagree that the discussion is un-CERB-y. A thread whose premise was "Sally X is charging way too little! Let's confront her!" would be bad. A general thread about "hey, how are prices set? How should they be set?" strikes me as smack-bang on topic for the board -- provided it's civil. I think as long as there are informed and respectful viewpoints to share, those inclined to contribute something meaningful should be allowed to do so. For my part: I don't know anything about the experience of being a sex worker so I only have vague concepts to go on. My uninformed feeling is that "enforcement" of prices is bad in principle for a bunch of reasons. But... what about a hypothetical voluntary sex workers' association that reaches out to SPs, invites them to work with their fellow providers, and keeps newbies informed about their options in the business? One that just invites everyone to cooperate to help maximize revenue from a very human and intimate service? I'd be cool with that. It would have problems and failings of its own, but it would have a lot of human merit, too. Open, free markets are sometimes efficient... but they're never, ever wise or compassionate, and some of that is necessary too.

Having a lady pay attention to me either in public or by referencing us subtly in a post or on twitter after we gave spent time together is a big turn on for me... now mind you I 100% appreciate that you ladies have many clients and that you can't single guys out... lol but sometimes just a reference to a great evening meeting with a wonderful client is nice... On a more public basis... i would love to take a beautiful lady on a shopping day some where nice.... be with her in the dressing As she tries on what I am buying here and have her thank me right there in the dressing room with a blow job..... has not happened yet... but someday :). So yea... mark me down as in favor of public displays of affection...in the last year one of my favorite things was to take a lady to a nice restaurant for dinner.... i know that does not sound like much but to be out in public with this beautiful lady holding hands in a city like St. John' (still small enough that everyone knows everyone) was just amazing and our play time after was all that much better because of it. Lol I need to travel more.

It really is as simple as "be prepared"... Or would you rather ask for change, and watch ten minutes of your session together be devoted to the provider having to get out her purse/wallet, hoping that she has the change? The awkward conversation if she doesn't? Congratulations, you just cock-blocked yourself ;)

Regarding the label of cheap... If you went to a restaurant with friends and your bill came out to 36 dollars. If you handed two 20's and sat at the table waiting for your server to get you your two toonies every one of your friends would call you cheap, regardless of what you needed those toonies for. Your server would be standing there with an internal monologue of what did i do to upset this person, or wow this guys is cheap. The question isn't whether you need to pay more or whether anyone can question how you spend your money. If you don't want to pay that extra 5 or 10 then dont give it to her in the first place. Society is full of judgements and expectations, and this would qualify as cheap in most service industries. If you don't want to or cant afford to tip then take the extra diligence to not draw attention to the payment process.

Besides google, just contact any advertiser with real great photo studio photos and ask for them to send you a link to their website. If they are 'borrowing' the photos, chances are very good that they do not have a website. This is not a 10000% guarantee, but most sps with professional quality photos also have websites. And sps who use those kinds of photos and do not have websites, you tend to question why they don't.

Since the OP is looking for advice at the beginning of his journey, perhaps it would be better to advise him to take a woman's word at face value. Asking an SP for something she clearly states is a no-go is not a good way to begin. Everyone's experience is different but for me, SPs that advertise CBJ are quite handy at getting that hoodie on there before the fun begins. YMMV

Any intimate activity with anyone, be it a professional companion, bar pick up, girlfriend/CL/wife ALL carry an element of risk...celibacy, well masturbation is the only safe sex and no, not being glib here Condoms are not risk elimination, they are risk reduction As Cat pointed out, never ask a companion if she is clean, and don't ask the lady if you have a morning after panic attack if you should be tested YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY...you should get tested regularly if you are sexually active One more thing, while there is an element of risk in being sexually active, even if using safe sex practices, celibacy while safe (sex wise that is) carries something else IMHO far more unhealthy...and that is loneliness...and I am speaking from experience Anyhow, a rambling RG

If they call it 'The Red Chamber' or 'The Upper House' we'll know who's behind it... -W10

Just be professional and mature. I am young as well and have seen sps. Don't act like those bravado men and remember to treat everyone with respect just like the way you want to be treated yourself. If they don't want to see you, then as the other member said say thanks and move on.

Well all great suggestion, I can surely say the best kept foodie secrete in halifax is "Stories" on Morris Street; it is in the Halliburton House Inn. Unlike many restaurants that I have loved and love lost... it has some how maintained its consistency. Chef Scott Vail has been there since I started going over a decade ago. It is a small restaurant with a only a few waiters and kitchen staff so he is able to keep his finger print on all his dishes. (Tues -Sat) Food made from scratch, to order and the menus regularly features favourites/repeats yet changes daily to accommodate what's fresh. A practice other places have started, but he was doing a decade ago when I became a regular. If you love food, you have to go and please let me know what you thought! Worth noting they also have a private dinning room in back. On a more causal tone I have been enjoying the new gastropub up by pizza corner, "The Stub run Goat. Knowledgeable staff, diverse professional client a land a great Wine, beer and food menu. My so far favorite is the lobster club house sandwich with truffle salted hand cut fries. Large chunks of fresh lobster (entire claws) and veggies simply done, beautifully spiced. It in no way resembles the touristy chopped mayo saturated lobster sandwich normally seen.