Safety - How do you all stay safe?

[FunAdventures 4501]

Hello,

 

 

I am a brand new, independent SP, not yet advertised. I am looking for some advice regarding screening and keeping myself, and my partners safe. I would love to know your experiences, good and bad, and how you learned from them in regards to staying safe.

 

What are the precautions you take before accepting a new partner?

 

What's the advantages / disadvantages of incall vs outcall? Which do you prefer and why?

 

What are some safety strategies you use?

 

Have you ever found yourself in an undesirable situation? How do you handle it?

 

As someone new, I would appreciate everything that you have to offer... Even if you think it's pretty basic.

 

Cheers

Carrie

[Phaedrus 209521]

Welcome to the board, Carrie!

 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (and I may be wrong), but I suspect most ladies won't answer this in public. They all have their ways of screening potential clients and things they do to ensure their own safety, but those won't be revealed here as they generally don't want to make it easier for the undesirable would-be clients to circumvent them.

 

The board has a SP-only section, where I'm sure these things do get discussed more openly - the FAQ has details on how to get access. That might be your best bet.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Welcome to the board, Carrie!

 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (and I may be wrong), but I suspect most ladies won't answer this in public. They all have their ways of screening potential clients and things they do to ensure their own safety, but those won't be revealed here as they generally don't want to make it easier for the undesirable would-be clients to circumvent them.

 

I agree with you that most ladies will not publicly share that information although the basics can be accessed by doing research on other SPs websites.

 

Welcome to CERB, Carrie :)

[cinelli 22184]

You should meet up with another local SP for some mentoring.

What ladies do is their own private business in my opinion.

 

Welcome aboard and good luck. :motion:

[FunAdventures 4501]

Hey!

 

You all make valid points. And I completely agree. No sense in letting your secrets known :-) I've heard of the SP only area of this site, but have yet to find a way to navigate to it. I will check out the FAQ's next, but perhaps it is because I am still very new?

 

Anyways, thanks for the warm welcome, and I look forward to participating

 

Cheers

Carrie

[fortunateone 156618]

ditto, it wouldn't be much of a safety protocol if everyone knew what it was, and figured out how to work around it.

 

I suggest looking for the Newbie section, and start from there. There is also an active thread here called Ask an Escort. probably some useful info in there.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Hello,

 

 

I am a brand new, independent SP, not yet advertised. I am looking for some advice regarding screening and keeping myself, and my partners safe. I would love to know your experiences, good and bad, and how you learned from them in regards to staying safe.

 

What are the precautions you take before accepting a new partner?

 

What's the advantages / disadvantages of incall vs outcall? Which do you prefer and why?

 

What are some safety strategies you use?

 

Have you ever found yourself in an undesirable situation? How do you handle it?

 

As someone new, I would appreciate everything that you have to offer... Even if you think it's pretty basic.

 

Cheers

Carrie

 

 

Not to be rude but until you are a confirmed SP with pictures in your album and a recommendation from a reputable source here on Cerb, many ladies will be reluctant to answer your questions.

 

Until you have a established more of a history as an SP, some may be wary of these types of questions as there are many people affiliated with the media who want to do these kinds of stories about the adult industry. And they are NEVER fair and balanced!

[fortunateone 156618]

I also agree with Nicolette. Post an ad, provide your info and contact details, and start an sp presence on the site. Advertising is free, and will give the members some sort of idea of who you are and that you are sincere and serious.

 

If cerb ad is the only ad you have up, that alone is a level of screening.

[FunAdventures 4501]

Hey,

 

Thanks again. I don't take offence to anything you think may be 'rude'. It's all good info, and being new, things I have not considered. I see no flaws in anything you've said. It's all very logical and understandable.

 

I guess the only way to learn is to jump in feet first! I encourage all of you to let me know if and when I am doing something I shouldn't be.

 

Question 1. Having an ad on here is a screening process? As in if you don't have one, we question what you're about? Or, if this is the only place you have an ad, we question what you're about?

 

Question 2. Recommendations? From a hobbyist? Or another SP? Or doesn't matter.

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

Question 1. Having an ad on here is a screening process? As in if you don't have one, we question what you're about? Or, if this is the only place you have an ad, we question what you're about?

 

 

I think FortunateOne meant that it was a method by which you could screen clients: that is, if you only advertise on CERB, your clients will only come from CERB, and (I believe she is suggesting) are therefore less likely to include complete wackos than if you advertised elsewhere.

[Mikeyboy 27113]

Hey,

 

Question 1. Having an ad on here is a screening process? As in if you don't have one, we question what you're about? Or, if this is the only place you have an ad, we question what you're about?

 

Question 2. Recommendations? From a hobbyist? Or another SP? Or doesn't matter.

 

Cerb also allows you to do a bit of research on potential clients. You can check their post history. Have they done any recommendations? Who were they for? What are their comments like? are they polite and respectful? Cerb does still carry anonymity but you can often get a good idea if someone is legit and what their personality is like.

 

As for recommendations, having multiple written about you from some known and respected cerb hobbyists can go a long way in earning trust. Also, simply taking part in the forums and letting people get to know you helps too.

 

Hope this helps.

Mikey

[FunAdventures 4501]

Again. Great info and thanks for clarifying! Looking forward to getting to know you all!

[Brad 49548]

Hi FunAdventures,

 

One thing you may want to do is take a look at many of the websites other ladies have up. Each person has their own rules but you'll get a good idea of the range of methods people employ. "No blocked numbers" seems to be the most common three words you'll ever see on an ad.

 

Some ladies will only meet with a guy if he can provide her with references from other ladies he has already seen.

 

Others require a gent to provide his real name and occupation first.

 

Others just require to be able to talk on the phone first or even just message so they can get a sense of the person and use their intuition.

 

I don't think I'm revealing any secrets here since these are all things you'll see publicly on different websites and ads, but at the end of the day you get to decide which rules make you feel safe, and don't feel like you have to back down if anyone pushes back against them.

[LisbethNova 5627]

These are my rules which may not apply to all SPs... but I have been trained by one of the best ladies in the biz and she has given me the guidelines that allow me to stay safe.

 

1. always ask for references from a reputable provider. I research the provider and email them, unless they are from not to reputable websites and look sketch.

 

2. If they are not able to give a reference, it is always helpful to ask for personal information like a linked in account or work website, if they email you from their company email address it is easy to google search them and find proof that they are actually at that company.

 

3. If they are still not comfortable giving out any information (which is going to happen much more now with this bill passing) You could suggest to meet for a coffee first. One situation I had was going to coffee with a gent who I wasn't feeling sure about and surely enough he was definitely not someone I was comfortable moving forward with (he was on drugs), So I ended up turning him away... not the easiest thing to do,,,,so this brings me to number 4.

 

4. Use your gut instinct... usually if you have a bad feeling about it, it's bad. I really analyze how a gent writes to me, both grammatically and in the words he chooses to use. "I want greek, 2 hours, outcall" is not a good enough email for me. These kinds of emails I have received on other not so reputable sites that I did not even sign up for, they just took my information.

[1963Kennedy 10698]

Cerb people are good people so try to book CERB people as they have a "history" here. Try and make contact with another NS girl and offer to take her out for a nice supper on your treat. Hopefully some of the NS ladies will get together for a small Christmas social.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

3. If they are still not comfortable giving out any information (which is going to happen much more now with this bill passing) You could suggest to meet for a coffee first. One situation I had was going to coffee with a gent who I wasn't feeling sure about and surely enough he was definitely not someone I was comfortable moving forward with (he was on drugs), So I ended up turning him away... not the easiest thing to do,,,,so this brings me to number 4.

 

Carrie, although Lisbeth provides good pointers, I would highly discourage you to use the method quoted above because A) a lot of potential clients will use this to circumvent your basic screening process B) will use it just to get a look at you and talk to you even though they have no intentions of booking C) in my personal opinion, in general, it's a total waste of time D) you will end up drinking a lot more coffee than your body can tolerate and/or that you care to ;)

 

I could add a few more valid reasons but I'll leave it at that.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Carrie, although Lisbeth provides good pointers, I would highly discourage you to use the method quoted above because A) a lot of potential clients will use this to circumvent your basic screening process B) will use it just to get a look at you and talk to you even though they have no intentions of booking C) in my personal opinion, in general, it's a total waste of time D) you will end up drinking a lot more coffee than your body can tolerate and/or that you care to ;)

 

I could add a few more valid reasons but I'll leave it at that.

 

Also, the risk of being arrested for public solitation.

 

I would never meet a potential client in public. If they are not comfortable giving you the information you ask, move on. The gems are there. Don't let anyone push you to break you rules because they are uncomfortable.

[LisbethNova 5627]

Carrie, although Lisbeth provides good pointers, I would highly discourage you to use the method quoted above because A) a lot of potential clients will use this to circumvent your basic screening process B) will use it just to get a look at you and talk to you even though they have no intentions of booking C) in my personal opinion, in general, it's a total waste of time D) you will end up drinking a lot more coffee than your body can tolerate and/or that you care to ;)

 

I could add a few more valid reasons but I'll leave it at that.

 

Yes I agree with this.. I wouldn't recommend going for a coffee unless you really need to see if he is okay. I only did this the one time because this was the only situation I was not sure about and he was quite charming in his emails... glad I did the extra check though, but this was a unique situation.

[kerrixoxo 33719]

Hey!

 

You all make valid points. And I completely agree. No sense in letting your secrets known :-) I've heard of the SP only area of this site, but have yet to find a way to navigate to it. I will check out the FAQ's next, but perhaps it is because I am still very new?

 

Anyways, thanks for the warm welcome, and I look forward to participating

 

Cheers

Carrie

 

If you have heard about the SP only area of this site, then that either means 1) you know a sex worker or 2) you know a client which then contradicts that you are either 1) new or 2) you don't have ads. I suggest asking whoever told you about the SP only area site about safety precautions. Also, google is your friend :)

 

To the point of meeting a client in public to confirm as a safety precaution, that is never a good idea.

[FunAdventures 4501]

If you have heard about the SP only area of this site, then that either means 1) you know a sex worker or 2) you know a client which then contradicts that you are either 1) new or 2) you don't have ads. I suggest asking whoever told you about the SP only area site about safety precautions. Also, google is your friend :)

 

To the point of meeting a client in public to confirm as a safety precaution, that is never a good idea.

 

Wow what great information! Thank you all! I would have thought meeting for a coffee would be a good approach, but I see why not now! :-)

 

I appreciate your skepticism kerrixoxo, but I learned about the SP only site because its existence is plastered throughout this site! Almost every forum I've come across makes reference to it, and it's in the FAQ's of this site. It is not a big secret that it exists, and I hope I am not the one to break it to you.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Hello funadventure,

 

Welcome to cerb, and you have been given excellent advice here so far.

 

I can see from your posts, you have learned to navigate this site very efficiently for a beginner. Good for you! You have proper posting etiquette, and that is appreciated here.

 

From what I can see, you should have no problem posting an ad, and finding your own specific way to screen your potential clients. Each of us have our own methods.

 

Now with the changes our industry will be facing, not only will we be screening our clients, but clients will also be screening new to the scene ladies. With a new lady, many clients will probably choose to only talk about details face to face behind closed doors until they meet you, so it would be wise not to offer nothing but your time as a companion.

[fortunateone 156618]

Carrie, although Lisbeth provides good pointers, I would highly discourage you to use the method quoted above because A) a lot of potential clients will use this to circumvent your basic screening process B) will use it just to get a look at you and talk to you even though they have no intentions of booking C) in my personal opinion, in general, it's a total waste of time D) you will end up drinking a lot more coffee than your body can tolerate and/or that you care to ;)

 

I could add a few more valid reasons but I'll leave it at that.

 

 

My addition, is that since discussing services etc in public settings is illegal, you are opening yourself up to a potential for charges. Further, you are allowing him to control this set up, meaning that once you set up a public meeting, he is free to tweet out to 20 of his closest friends, one of whom is in the corner filming the entire encounter to put it on youtube.

 

Non appt public meetings are unnecessary. If you feel wary enough to even consider having to meet someone first, then simply decline the appt. There is such a thing as bad money.

[tanyathetgurl 857]

Welcome to "the club" and kudos on your rational and open-minded approach.

 

As to: "No sense in letting your secrets known" -- I'm actually fine with sharing what I know. In other professions, the "best practices" are often compiled by a board or committee and circulated amongst members. In some cases they're even binding as a condition of joining the guild. What sets me apart is more the particular blend of attributes I offer, rather than a secret recipe.

 

I understand the "arms race" concern that once these safety measures become widely known, criminals will now how to get past them. While that logic is impossible to fault, I think there's more to the issue yet. That's why, in my opinion, public disclosure would not necessarily make things less safe for those of us who are already following these rules. A former romantic partner of mine studied psychology including criminal behavior, and with a few exceptions (see the movie Entrapment for a dramatization) she learned that criminals almost always take the path of least resistance and/or where they are least likely to be caught (e.g., they'll most likely burgle the hotel room closest to the stairs, or a corner house), and by extension, they will find and target girls who are sloppy about their personal safety. Unfortunately, even if "rules of safety" were widely known, many service providers would ignore them anyway. I'm not 19 anymore but when I was, I behaved as if I were bullt-proof and I suspect this is such common behavior that this is where the criminals will focus: gullible, naive targets without a well-developed sense of risk management.

 

I actually love your "let's help each other" premise and I'm hereby personally inviting you to a cup of tea and a chat when I get to Vancouver on the 30th. I believe there's a lot of mutual empowerment possible, not least because sometimes I'm approached by a client who's not a good fit for me and it'd be nice if I could refer him to someone whom I know and trust.

 

Please contact me and I'll be happy to share with you my safety-related principles. (Anyone else is welcome to ask too.)

 

.Tanya

[Janebondage 2263]

I am newish myself. What I can say is..... Cerb is a great community. Just careful and with reason. Read Read read through the boards as much as possible. You can see a lot about how the ladies handle themselves there. A good place to start until you get lay of the land may be just to use/book from Cerb; and or...make sure you ask for a reference from well established Service Provider. Don't rely solely on it, but in the meantime, it may help keep you safer till you learn the ropes a little.

Lastly...

Always go with your guts, we have instincts for a reason.

 

J

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I go on my instincts 100%. I need to hear a voice on the phone. That's my screening method. It's what I go by and no one prospective client can ever get past my radar. I've booked with people who weren't bad clients in a way that would be considered dangerous nor it was a horrible appt but I know I wouldn't want to see them again for other various reasons.

 

I could be speaking to the most polite person on the phone and they could follow all my instructions but I know within 30 seconds and if I don't get the thumbs up that all is okay, they're not going to be meeting me. And if they don't hear back from me after they've contacted me, it's for a reason. Same thing with wots, serial texters/callers and no shows. It could be the smallest thing that sets off my radar. I am very cautious and it's always the voice for whatever reason.

 

I met someone one time and they sounded like one of those cop voices on the phone. I spoke to him a couple of times and while I didn't get those bells going off in my head, there was something about him. When I met him in person he had a few peculiar things about his personality that sort of showed up during the appt but nothing serious, more like annoying where I've had to repeat myself a couple of times and always be assertive.

 

However, there have been several times where my instincts have said no, no and no. And I always listen to them. For the new ladies, never meet a client if you feel uneasy before meeting. If you are low on money, etc your health and safety are more paramount than a couple of hundred dollars. There will ALWAYS be another client waiting in the wings.