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I agree with everyone else: you did the right thing. I'm glad that you followed your intuition. Nothing is more important for a companion than to have a well-developed sense of intuition and to be able to follow it. More than anything else, your intuition will keep you--and your clients--safe. I am fond of many of my clients. I'm not ashamed of that, at all. I know myself: I am sensitive and emotional; I also have an absolute, strong need to be as honest with people in my life as I can be while maintaining a very firm boundary between my work and my personal life, between Samantha and me, the woman who is not her. Some aspects of the pre-screening I do with potential clients are less my physical safety than about my emotional and psychological safety. For example, if a man reminds me of someone in my past or present life and I'm uncomfortable with that, I won't meet with him. (Disclosure: I was an abused woman and I grew up in an abusive family. I know what triggers I need to avoid, even when the other person is unknowingly setting them off. That is, this is about me, not about them.) In some ways, I liken what I do to the kinds of relationships therapists have with their clients. They're involved with their clients, they know them at an intimate level and, when things are going well, are trusted with the client's vulnerabilities and frailties. At the same time, their own lives, histories, stories, experiences and personal frailties are not features in the relationship. They are there to support and explore the client's needs, not their own, beyond the contractual aspects. What clients do, how they feel, what they say, the stories they tell--all of those things touch the therapist, sometimes profoundly. Nevertheless, these things arise in the context of a dynamic where confidentiality is so essential that it can't be broken for any reason unless the therapist's personal safety and well-being is at stake. (The safety and well-being of children with whom the client has contact must take first priority, but that's not germane in the SP/client dynamic.) Maintaining good boundaries is as essential for paid companions as it is for therapists. To stay healthy, we need to be able to "turn off" being a companion at the end of the work-day, so to speak. While things we read, hear about, see or think at other times may inform what we do when we're working, if we carry our clients with us into every aspect of our non-working lives, unhealthy things start to happen. Our "real self" and our "companion self" become blurred. We may become emotionally or psychologically needy; we may start to build up expectations about the client that go beyond agreed-upon things like payment of fees, activities that we will or will not do, and safety considerations such as the use of condoms. We may also feel obligated to be available to clients in ways that do not pertain to a healthy, well-defined client relationship, such as taking their calls at all hours of the day and night; allowing them to make frequent, last-minute appointments (if this is not an aspect of our usual business model); cancelling commitments to family, friends and/or other clients in order to accommodate the client's requests; and perhaps even relaxing the boundaries of our work, such as having erotic contact in public places (which is illegal) when this is not an option that we've provided before; or taking risks such as providing bareback services when that has not been a feature of our regular work; or venturing into nknown areas and activities unsafely, such as experimenting with drugs with clients. One of the seductions about our profession is that, if a woman thinks things through carefully and is able to provide top-notch service enthusiastically, and if she knows her market and how to appeal to it, she can make a considerable amount of money in a relatively short period of time. While most of us come into this profession because we have had a sudden need to earn a significant amount of money, once that need has been addressed and the related crises have been averted, we need to attend to our personal health and well-being in the form of making some sober, well-thought-out decisions about the amount of money we really need to earn and the number of clients we can reasonably see in the longer term. We also need to make firm decisions about how we will spend our non-working time. Every companion should have meaningful things to do when not meeting clients, answering e-mail, writing ads and working on her website. The paid companions who are passionate about non-work things in their lives maintain the best work-life balance and are best able to work, or retire, in strong and healthy ways. I'm apologize if it seems that I'm preaching or lecturing or acting like a Mom! That's not my intention. What I really want to say is that, if you think that you had developed some needs and expectations that are outside the usual boundaries, I hope you'll pay attention to those. This can be one of the loneliest professions there is. Perhaps you were lonely and wanted to build a friendship with someone. Maybe you hadn't found ways to care for yourself and your real, human needs, but found that this particular client fulfilled some of those for you. It might be that you had been over-working and had become overtired and found that you could rest and relax in this man's company. It's possible that your real needs for affirmation, confirmation and support have been lacking in your own life and you might have gotten a little over-invested in the positive feedback and compliments he gave you--that is, your ego got hooked a little too much. It might even be that he made you feel needed and important when you hadn't been feeling that way in the rest of your life. If you can figure out what you may have needed from him, I'm sure you'll also be able to identify healthier ways to find those things outside of your work. The last thing I want to say is that paid companions and clients do sometimes form genuine, durable, deeply loving and lasting relationships. Of course they do. We're human beings. But when this happens, in most cases I have known, the parties start over. He stops paying her or giving her money. She begins to involve him in her "real" life, and he involves her in his. They get to know each other as two people, as equals. Often, when this happens, the big issue they face will have to do with her work. Most men do not share their partners easily. She may need to retire or they may need to find ways to separate her profession from the realities of who she is as a woman, a partner and a friend. This may not be easy, but it does happen. I, for one, will not disparage anyone for building more love in this world. You did the right thing with your client. Be proud of yourself! And be careful. Stay safe. With respect and affection, Sam

Well where to begin? How to begin? My mind is still racing and my heart still pumping AND it has been more than four hours since I left the company of Amelia R. in Halifax. Well for those of you who don't know Amelia R. is a young, fit and oh so very sexy young lady who travels to Saint John, Fredericton and now apparently Halifax. My day began, actually it began last week when I read she was going to be in the HRM today. Needless to say I quickly contacted her to initiate conversation. After a brief message or two a day/time was agreed upon and then came the "other messages" consisting of what was going to happen during our encounter. Keep in mind she was asking me...I never had to make a suggestion yet (well maybe one...okay two). Anyway after we established our likes, dislikes, wants, needs and special requests all I had to do was wait 4 days for Monday to arrive. Fast forward a few days to find that I survived the four day period with nothing on my mind but "how is Monday with Amelia going to go???" During the drive to Halifax the same thought of "I wonder how things are gonna go?" After I arrived at her hotel she quickly and very accurately provided her room info. She even included the best route to the elevator (A nice touch, yes). For all I was only going up a few floors it felt like I was going to the top of Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower). Next came "The Moment" or the knock on the door...WOW! What greeted me was a tall, slender sexy young woman dressed like someone out of a lingerie catalog! Black stockings, garters complete with belt, sexy criss crossed spaghetti top of some sexy sort and a wicked smile. I didn't know if I should stare, smile, say hi or scream hallelujah! So I did all four...I think. As I entered her room I was attempting to watch where I was going but all I was really looking at was her. As I removed my coat I turned and found her already comfortable on the bed staring at me (amazing bedroom eyes). "You aren't what I expected" were the next words she spoke to me as I stared intently at her figure. She then told me to take those words as a compliment, which of course I did. After some extended conversation, touching and caressing the physical fun began. Mental fun being what was happening up until this point. "Why don't you take off your clothes" I heard her say as I attempted to maintain my composure. What happened next made this mans eyes roll back in his head... Sorry, as usual the juicy details are kept to myself. So I suggest if you want to find out what happened you should contact Amelia R. herself. I am sure she would be happy to book you in and show you the time she showed me earlier today! Thanks for a great day my new friend.

I expect that if all of the SP's pooled their stories and anecdotes that there is a bestseller in the works for the person that puts it together. Sometimes we do find the misfortunes of others funny, and after a period of time, funny even to those who suffered the misfortune. An example of this is the thread started by Megan about Best Fail Moments at http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28938 and there are some hilarious stories in there. Recently I had an experience where I thought that I would have to cancel a date with less than one days notice. IF it had happened, I doubt that it would have been accepted as valid, but honest, this is the truth. You see, I have a severe allergy to wasp stings, but not to bee stings. A wasp sting causes severe pain, severe swelling, severe itching and burning, and does not go away in a matter of hours - it is days or weeks. Bees, no similarity. Anyway, the day before this encounter, I was outside, wearing nothing but a pair of very loose fitting shorts and I got stung. I knew it was a bee or a wasp. That was easily determined because you KNOW when you get stung. But I was not just stung anywhere, oh no, the little bugger had flown up my shorts, and must not have liked what it saw, so it decided to let me have it right on my balls. And then, reactions kick in. I swatted it. Double pain. Oh shit! They say that just before you die your life flashes before your eyes. Well this experience may be a close second. Pain, and then, "Was it a wasp or was it a bee"? And then, "If it was a wasp, will they ever believe me when I cancel"? The shorts were dropped, and upon investigation, I found the bee. Thank the good Lord above! OK, so this has made me wonder when I hear of guys cancelling at the last minute, what were the best stories that you may have heard as an SP, especially if you KNOW they were speaking truth? Or maybe it is the ones that you'd never believe, like, "I got stung on the balls by a wasp." Anyone care to top the excuse that I did not have to use? Guys, you can file that one away for when you need it, but trust me, you don't want this to happen to you.

One of my favourite, long-standing clients died recently. I wrote about that, here. I will attend the funeral because he was well-known in Vancouver. The funeral will be held in a church; many people are expected to attend. The question about whether it's okay for a paid companion to go to a client's funeral has come up before, but it's been a couple of years since we had that discussion. In case it might be useful, helpful or reassuring to anyone on the board, I'm re-opening the topic. I apologize in advance for the length of this post! In the other part of my life, some time ago, I seriously considered becoming a funeral director because, for various reasons, I'd worked closely with quite a few funeral homes. I also used to do volunteer work with a hospice and ve attended many dozens of funerals over the last 20 years or so. I'm writing from that experience. When someone dies, the very best, and very worst, aspects of their relationships with family and friends are likely to be in the spotlight. Families always want to be seen as normal, unremarkable, with no secrets or scandals to be noticed. Unfortunately, most families are not so ordinary. Everyone has secrets and some of them may not go to the grave with us despite our best efforts to conceal them. You can always call the funeral home and ask how many people they're expecting to attend the service. They'll tell you if it's just going to be a small, private family service, or if they're expecting a couple of hundred people. Funeral homes are asked this very question several times a day. Estranged family members, former spouses and other people who have had a difficult relationship with the deceased, or with members of his/her family, often call the funeral home and ask this question. There's no need to feel conspicuous or awkward for asking! Most funeral directors take seriously their value as an intermediary between the bereaved family and others. Unless the deceased person is quite elderly, or has been shut-in for a long, long time, or had a disability that seriously restricted their ability to be out in the world, funeral services often have a wide variety of people attending. They don't all know each other. Many people will be there who may hardly know the deceased, but have accompanied their spouse or a friend who did know him/her. There is often a "viewing" or a gathering before the actual funeral. Depending on who the deceased person was, how long they've lived in their community and how well-known they were, there may be a couple of these gatherings. One may be held the evening before the funeral, for example, or a couple of hours before the funeral itself. These gatherings take the place of wakes which were commonly held many years ago. They tend to be small and quiet. People who have known the deceased person have an opportunity to go to the funeral home, or in some cases, the church, view the body and spend a few moments in quiet reflection. Family members are usually present at these viewings. Many people who knew the deceased person very well are likely to attend. There may be food and drinks available. People will have informal conversations about the deceased person, sharing memories and talking about how he or she affected their lives. It is very difficult to be inconspicuous at one of these gatherings, and so, as a paid companion, I would never attend. My presence is only likely to raise questions for the family and friends; that would be a violation of confidentiality. If, however, the deceased person is very famous, or a head of state or, say, a current or former provincial premier, and there is a large public viewing where potentially hundreds of people may attend to pay their respects, I would probably be one of the people in the crowd. If the service is being held in a church, there will usually be a lot of people there. If the whole service is being held at the graveside, fewer people will attend. Personally, I would not attend a graveside funeral for a client because those awkward scenes in movies where someone unexpectedly shows up at the graveside service are, sadly, fairly realistic. I have been at several graveside services where someone unexpected arrived; it would not be appropriate for me to cause consternation or worry for the family by attending this more private kind of memorial. On the day of the funeral, if the deceased died suddenly and unexpectedly, or if their death was violent, it would be unusual for members of the family to be greeting people at the door of the funeral home or church when people arrive. If the deceased had been ill for a long time and was on good terms with his/her family, it's more likely that family members will be greeting people when they arrive. You might need to make a judgment call about this, but it would be unusual for anyone greeting folks as they arrive to ask questions about why someone is there. There's usually a guest book available for signing. I wouldn't sign it, if I was at a funeral for a client. There's often a gathering after the service, too. I wouldn't attend because this is another time when questions about how someone knows the deceased would be most likely to be asked. I also wouldn't go to the burial if it's happening after the service. Again, most of the people who attend the service won't go to the graveyard, so there's nothing conspicuous about staying away. Going, however, could raise questions. But if there will be more than about 80 people at the funeral, to arrive at the funeral home or church only a couple of minutes before the service starts, to sit near the back of the chapel or church and to leave when it's over, shouldn't be a problem. Other people will do the same thing for different reasons. When I attend my client's funeral, I will dress inconspicuously. I will not wear all black, though I may wear a black dress with a coloured jacket over it. I do not want to appear to be in grief or significantly mourning my friend because I do not want to call attention to myself. I may sign the guest book if it there are more than about 200 people at the funeral. Otherwise, I won't. If I do sign it, I will sign it in my own name. Samantha will not be at the service. If anyone asks me how I knew the man who died, I will give a vague answer along the lines of having worked with him on a project a few years ago. I may say that he gave me some good advice that has made a lot of difference in my life and so I wanted to pay my respects. It's important to recognize that by not saying anything or by declining to answer the question,I draw more attention than if I give this kind of bland reply. I have to take seriously the fact that I do not know this man's family and friends and that I am an attractive woman who is at the funeral by myself. Unfortunately, people being as they are, there is often a group of people hoping, secretly or not so secretly, that something exciting or titillating may be revealed about the deceased. I do not want to give anyone the impression that I may have been one of the man's secrets. I can't ask my partner to attend the funeral with me because, of course, he doesn't know that this man was a client of mine. I'm sure that the common-sense value of much of what I've written, here, is evident. More than anything, I hope that everyone, particularly my sister companions, will simply take the time to think things through. The loss of a client through death is a serious and important event. We are all entitled to our sorrow and to find appropriate ways to mark their passing.

John Candy for an avatar...part of the reason I respect Surf Nazis opinion.

Let's talk about SEX!!! All this talk of sex is making me horny..the kind that makes you squirm in your chair and want to go grab your partner and wanna make some hard yumm yumm sexy time too (know what I'm sayin?) Soo, as I sit here, feeling like a cat in heat, I thought we could share some SEXY TIME stories and spread the hornyness ALL AROUND??? Sharing is a good thing, so I will share a little sneak peak..hopefully you will share yours.. Soo, In the time I've lived where I do, I rarely see any police come here..So the week of Canada Day..There were cops everywhere in my quiet suburban neighborhood, with dogs and flashlights..at one point, it's like they used my parking lot as a meeting spot for 4 police cars, a police truck and all the dogs and such..I got really turned on, so..I did the only thing I could think of to take care of it, removed my shorts and my partners...and had amazing sex right there on my balcony(2nd floor) with the police not even 20 feet away from us..behind the Canadian flag. IT WAS AWESOME SEXY TIME!! Please share your sexy stories with me, and please don't be alarmed if I touch myself at the same time. Thank You Oh and have some sexy time tonight, you know you wanna Additional Comments: That made me remember this other time that involves police..I was parked with a client behind some shops and we were just chatting in a car while I molested his hardness before making our way to the Hilton..We were blinded by two fog lights, 2 police cars had pulled up next to us..Asked to see I.D from both of us ect..I had none on me, so I just gave him my name and apparently that wasn't enough and while the clients sticker had just expired two days before, he was trying to get out of that mess and I was Idless. The officer asked me what we were doing here and I told him we were just making out, right? (no harm done?) Then back to my ID a few minutes later, I said "here, call my phone number, my husband will tell you who I am" You should have seen the look on the officers face, he let us go!

I never had to cancel, but I have been late due to traffic. Once I had to wait for a moose to get served before me....

Photosynth is my favourite app. It's a 360 degree photo app and the results are amazing. It's an immersive experience. It really is just like being there, whether the image was taken indoors or outside. You can look up, down, left, right, behind you... Every time I show people a picture taken with it they can't believe it. There are several different 360 degree apps, but this one is the easist to use and produces the best results. you can view the results on your iPhone and you can also upload them to the photosynth site. The web site also has tips on how to get the best results. In addition to being able to take a picture from one viewpoint, you can also take pictures from various points around an object, building etc and then rotate the resulting image. http://photosynth.net/

Now that Angela mentions it I too am curious when we are voting on this years recipients.

joy smith is a moral zealot and with a majority conservative government...? it might happen. we are fighting for inclusion in the federal human trafficking strategy development and hope to go through the federal ombudsman for the victims of crime to fight the implementation of any kind of criminalization including criminalize the client. on a personal note; hope everyone in cerb land is well!! love susieXXXO

I once had to cancel at the last minute due to poison ivy. It was terrible. And another time because I did cut my balls shaving and considered it a health risk. Both times I was able to rebook (separate women) and I gave an extra special tip in good faith (50% of the date cost). That seemed to have been appreciate and sufficient to prove my honesty...

Well Cath. I have to reply to this. :) and I am LMAO. I hit a moose on the day of a visit with an SP as i work remotely and around moose every day. I was able to keep the truck mobile to make it to my date. I can see however if I had to cancel how this would have sounded and it was sure crossing my mind. Telling an SP from the big city that I hit a moose on my way to see her. Forgot about that one.

A deer, maybe. A moose. Doubtful he would have been calling anyone. I've heard of a lot of bad excuses. The best excuse I ever heard was he cut his balls shaving (which may be plausible).

I lost my Father in January and I can honestly say that I don't remember much of the the first few weeks, and I certainly didn't question who or why some folks were there. I can't even remember half of the people that were there. Just because they don't know you, do what you are going to do. You don't have a big sign over your head. You were a friend, and deserve to be there should you choose.

You know you're on cerb too much when you're on the list of the top 10 posters. I let Roamingguy beat me to sixth place one day by 2 posts when we were neck and neck. Hehe. I'm cutting back... you won't be seeing me post as much here anymore. It was fun getting there though!

Hair play. I could play with hair for HOURS.

You know you spend too much time on CERB when you can't figure out why a certain song is stuck in your head and then you realize it's from the song thread.

I think it pays to be careful not to generalize based on single experiences. I can totally understand how some relationships that have blossomed between clients and providers have crashed and burned because of the nature of the business and unrealistic expectations. I totally get that. But sometimes people grow apart, like any other dating context. There's obviously a lot more to a close relationship than the activities that can happen during an SP meet, fun though they may be. Sometimes people just aren't a good match. Sometimes it's bad timing. And sometimes things die off for no fathomable reason whatsoever. :( I think one needs to be realistic about possible outcomes, but not completely closed off. It's always hard to open yourself up for fear of rejection and pain... but maybe you're just passing on something that could be awesome.

I like RG's even handedness in his posts involving serious subject matters, his respect for all the ladies here, and his love of fishing! Plus I can always count on him to help me keep the favorite song thread going :)

I like Roamingguy because he is a guys guy! Straight forward, respectful and stand-up. Cub

I can't see any reason not to attend the service in a discrete way. As ottawaadventurer said, this is for the living and if you've developed a close personal bond with the client, then it's a way for you to show respect and gain closure for yourself. This is a business, but we all are human and it's unavoidable that we don't occasionally develop real bonds with each other.

Make love not war, because condoms are less expensive then bombs..:D Doesn't work that well in english but in French... Faites l'amour pas la guerre, parce que les condoms coutent moins cher que les armes nucléaires

Nothing wrong with being straightforward. That's how I live too. And I know that many people take things the wrong way online. But if there is any other way I should have taken it being said that you're not 'hard-up' enough to see me, other than to be insulted, I'd really like to know.

I hate to say it but women don't have to hobby. I have a couple of young 20's something hot studs on speed dial when I feel the need. I think it is because men are visual creatures and they will go after what they want. Women don't have a penis so this is not something that drives them to want to have sex. Another reason is that a lot of men who hobby are married and they are either not satisfied at home or they just want variety so they will pay for it to be discreet rather than getting involved in an emotional affair which can be dangerous. Re: Why women don't have to hobby....The other night I was having a girls night out after the work day was over and ran into to one of her young studs she has on her speed dial while we were out. He texted her later and said he had to have me when he saw me. I think men are just wired that way with all that testosterone.

tongue firmly in cheek... why the over 35 crowd gets the girl.... 1. Multiple shots on goal means a three day booking 2. We are extraordinarily grateful that someone will even stay in the same room as us when we are naked. 3. Nap time is on the clock. 4. Cuddle time may just be the best we can do. 5. Less likely to stalk, we barely even remember where we live. 6. While we remember to bring the envelope, we might not remember why we came. 7. We can help with history assignments in post secondary courses. We were there when it all happened. 8. Arthritis prevents us from being too grabby.

Love me or hate me now for this post... Are you for fucking real?? Do you seriously think that people that have an addiction problem choose to have it? I am going to tell a part of my life that not a lot of people know... At 16 years old, I was your normal average girl in a private high school, at least I did seem. Hell I had nuns as teacher...they didn't really care about the emotional and mental well-being of their students. It wasn't really christian...well at this time, I had an addiction. actually 2. I have doing self-injury and I was bulimic. They are not drugs or alcohol, they don't cost as much money, but they are as self-destructive. So...for you...I was like Amy Whinehouse and I was too weak to face my problems? I turn to self-mutilation to escape my inside pain. How I was feeling at the time, inside, was more then horrible, my demons were eating me from the inside...Cutting was a release. Seeing the blood was a catharsis, for that moment, when I was seeing the blood flow...I felt good. I felt better. Well as far as I know drugs are the same. It is extremely tragic that she died so young, from drugs overdose... yes some people try drugs to do like others, to be "hot"...but some do it for the escape because their life is miserable and they don't see why they should live...when you don't know why you actually you should wake up tomorrow...I can swear to all the gods that you want, that it is horrible. Just being alive is a challenge...and you call her weak? You call someone weak because they want to LIVE instead of surviving? Talking of choice...I was bulimic and anorexic. I was 77 lbs once for my height...that is extremely unhealthy. I had the choice to eat more. I had the choice to get better on my own. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. It is the same with Amy. She cannot get better herself. People that have addictions, need help from others, because they are too broken inside to help themselves.. It piss you off to see people spend money on rehab? to help people get better? what kind of human being (if you are one) are you? You are not willing to help those in trouble? If you were at their place what would you want to do? have others people help you to get better. Gonna tell you...my scars that I have on my arms and legs, my throat that even today after 6 years of recovery ...still hurt. It was not a bloody choice

To be perfectly honest; no. My two lives are completely separate and that is how I intend them to remain. Meg is a persona that exists during certain hours of the day. While the real me has some of the same characteristics, I am not fully the person I portray while entertaining. I don't want to sound harsh but I am not seeking nor would I even attempt a relationship with a client. Meg does enjoy friendship and sexy fun but that is where it needs to end.

You know that you are old when you get up in the morning and you are stiff in all of the wrong places!!

I had a chance to see her about a year and half ago in Ottawa. I still remember the encounter like it was yesterday. She is an Awesome lady!!

I had to remove a thread tonight and I am very upset that people are posting crap like this. Some idiot PM'd one of the members claiming that one of the local girls has aids. The member posted this along with other nonsense. Why he felt it was necessary to start a thread like this I will never know but I am done with people trying to slander other peoples reputations. If your too stupid to realize a PM or POST like this is just slanderous and made by either a jealous competitor, ex-boyfriend or drunken idiot trying to cause a problems then let me help you out by telling you first hand that you should just delete the PM and report the user name to me so we can get rid of the trolls! If you feel the need to accuse someone of such a thing publicly do it elsewhere as I don't care to slander anyone on this site and as long as I am moderator of this site I will NOT tolerate it from anyone else here! I will shut down the board before I allow that to happen so if you enjoy the site please respect this policy and rule.