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I think that I'm not alone in thinking that I was really surprised when first signing up to CERB at how much goes on here. While CERB was originally established as a forum to facilitate both SPs and Hobbyiests' experiences of finding a good match, those of us who are on here regularly know that CERB has far outgrown this single purpose. We regularly have respectful discussions about all sorts of things: politics, sexual health, relationship advice, to name a few. I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread where everyone can share some of the things we've learned as a result of CERB. I'll start: When I first started working, I had already done some work to break down the stereo-type of who clients were, but it was CERB who taught me that people who seek companionship from SPs are often wonderful, respectful and kind-hearted people. I also learned how powerful all of the SPs on here are! XO Sky

CERB is a community to allow Providers and Hobbyists to interact with one another. It is a business model that works for each party. Providers get clients, clients get providers. I am kind of dismayed that people get there feathers ruffled if they receive a PM and it's a friendly solicitation or a post on their profile page that is viewed by themselves or others. Why complain? I do not mind getting either forms of Solicitation. Personally, I have received such and appreciate the fact that a provider will see me, sometimes it's from a lady that has not been around in awhile, that I would like to see again. This board has a component of soliciting. Providers advertise their service. Is this what we are not all here for?

Well I was kinda happy that I asked the question about the profile visitor issue and started this thread. I like to think there has been some good debate about the pro's and con's of the messages left on ones profile. There was a wise comment made earlier where the individual could shut off that guest book feature or simply delete the message on their own profile. I also fully endorse the reasoning behind the shut down of the option, but also do really admit I miss it. I'm sure either way it will all work out for everyone's benefit. Over the time, I often enjoyed the flirting between a lady and myself,but it has never came across to me as bold, solicitation or in fact desperate on my part or ever from the ladies that have visited my profile and left a message, even if she said" Missing you" The actual set up of a date was/ is always done behind closed doors through pm's or emails. The ladies here always have shown professionalism through great flirting,no different than us gents making a nice comment about welcoming the lady,or her photo's or in fact telling her to have a great day. It is/was a communication tool used by the vast majority of us here, with keeping within the guidelines and rules. So kudo's to you ladies, for doing that (gentle flirting I love it) over the time, and as Mr.Green said.... "minority" in this case can ruin things for the the majority. (Well said Mr.Green!)

What is Cerb? Folks have wares for sale and buyers have interest in said wares. How these said wares are advertised and promoted is irrelevant for me. Solicit away I say :) Peace MG

A few things. To address the original question: Yes, it is rude, and it shows that you are not taking responsibility for your own actions. You weren't worried about STD's until after the condom slipped off, so why is it now okay to ask the SP to prove she's clean? You are responsible for your own sexual health. That means getting tested regularly and having safe sex. When condoms slip or break, go and get tested again. It's as simple as that. By asking an escort if she'll show you her tests to prove she's healthy, you are placing the onus on her to provide a safe experience. And as I said, it is up to you to ensure your own sexual health. Sex workers are safer sex experts and use safer sex supplies at rates much higher than the general public. To address the assumption that sex workers are obviously sleeping with more partners than the average woman--it all depends. But to assume that because we're sex workers we have more partners--well that's just silly. You cannot know the number of partners we may or may not have. So don't assume that we're all high volume, sleeping with as many partners as we can. We'd all burn out pretty quick if that were the case. And I have to agree with Elizabeth Saunders--involving alcohol increases the chances of doing something stupid, such as having unsafe sex. You're more likely to catch something from a random chick at a bar than an escort. With regard to HIV only, I'd just like to point out that sex workers are not even considered a high risk by Public Health Canada.

In the end we all have to be responsible for our own sexual health. Asking an SP to reassure you is not taking full responsibility of your own health....its asking her to reassure you that you're safe, and no SP can do that because we're SPs...not doctors. Best to go get tested regularly if you are having multiple partners (this includes SPs and especially non SPs)..... asking someone if they are sure they are clean and asking for proof is kinda like asking someone if they're lying....or at least it feels like it on our end.

This post is just about my thoughts on a subject, it's just my opinion, I'm not saying it is right, I'm not saying it is wrong, it just my views. First a little bit about myself, I'm in my mid-twenties. I've been in short relationships, long relationships (longest 3 years), but for pretty much this past year, I've been single. Dated a few girls, but nothing really that I would consider a serious "relationship". Something I have noticed though is especially in August aka "Wedding Season" is that a lot of what used to be my core friends are all getting married or are in pretty serious relationships. I've noticed that myself and my other "single" friends have slowly been indirectly pushed out of our social circles. Now, it's not that our "couple friends" are assholes or anything like that, they are great awesome people, it's just that "couples" hang out with "couples". While single people are slowly pushed to the curb. Mind you, this is just my opinion, it may not be the case all the time. So what is a single person to do? They are suppose to get back into a relationship. Society programs us to find someone else whether it be the bar, dating websites, the grocery store, or whatever else. And too, even if you find someone, you will always have that dreaded shadow behind you of past relationships. The public seems to think that just because a past relationship ENDS it equals FAILURE. How is that even fair? How is that even correct? Singleness is treated like a disease, like it needs to be fixed. It's treated like a state that one surely needs to change as quickly as possible, and a change we should all strive for. If you are single, friends view you as miserable, something is wrong you, and that they need to make sure you are going to make it. Western society drives the thought into children at a young age thru the media & even sometimes in real life, that a person should always be striving for romance or sexual desire. Being single does not represent success and happiness. The stigma of singleness needs to be removed. The devaluation of it needs to come to a halt. For example, what if in Ottawa, happiness didn't equal getting married, moving away from downtown, and moving into a house in Kanata or Orleans, then starting a family. Another example would be what if little girls weren't driven by society to organize their life around a heterosexual relationship as the focal point, then put other things like friends, a career, living arrangements etc. around that relationship wherever it may fit. What really is wrong with living with roommates? What really is wrong with living members of the opposite sex without dating? What really is wrong with living alone? This not only allows us to experience different social living structures but also allows us to escape the linear line that Western culture tries to cultivate upon us. Life doesn't need to be centered around sex or a relationship. Happiness can be found in numerous other bits & bytes in your life. Just because single people don't centralize their life around sex or a relationship, does not mean they are deficient. There's nothing deficient about being single, and pursuing the kind of life you want. If we as a society just expand our idea on what lives are acceptable, whether you are a middle aged male, divorced, single young lady with career aspirations, gay, lesbian, poly, or even straight married people living in Kanata/Orleans, basically ALL kinds of people, I just think we would be a lot better served.

You're shitting me....I JUST saved this exact same photo to my photobucket album with the intention of posting it in the boobies thread! So much for that idea, great minds think alike :p Additional Comments: Screw it I'm posting it anyway :p

There is a difference between sending pms/signing a guestbook with messages and maybe flirtation and sending solicitations The ladies should feel free to do the former, if it is with a member they feel comfortable enough to send messages to. But soliciting business, that can make a member feel uncomfortable, and maybe pressured to do business. If a lady notices a member has seen her profile, a thank you (at the most) is in my opinion ok. If he wants to see her, he will initiate contact with her. My 2 cents RG

I have learned: 1. That the friendships I have fostered here are genuine. Those that have been to my home, and the yet to visit all have a place in my heart. You know who you are... now you know how I truly feel. 2. That although we may not always see eye to eye, we can enjoy each other's company despite our differences on certain issues. 3. That the most beautiful, desirable women on the planet are also the most intelligent, witty and soulful people I have ever encountered. 4. That if the naysayers and abolitionists actually paid attention to what was written here, they would have a completely different opinion about the industry they ignorantly rally against. 5. That this is a place that can easily occupy many hours of my time and still not be considered time wasted. 6. That sooooo many people set me up for one liners.... In actuality, I think I would be a lesser person had I not found this site... you all make me so much better!

I want to thank MOD for looking after the stalker situation so diligently. Good job!!! It is nice to know we got MOD to help with such a scary situation...so again thanks MOD!!

Thanks for the explanation, Scribbles :) In an SP/client type of "relationship" I don't believe trust has anything to do with it. The risk factors involved play a major role in this particular situation. Trusting "you" won't lower my risks but if I play safe, I'm automatically lowering them ;)

"I also learned how powerful all of the SPs on here are!" Bingo! Peace MG

With this in mind, I think we must give kudos to the mod for acting in such a manner to protect one of our own. I am grateful that he has not named names which could exacerbate the situation our provider finds herself in... and I am thankful that we can show the understanding in the perhaps temporary loss of a feature that we have enjoyed. That my friends, is why CERB is a great community.

if it's for the safety of the ladies, i can live without this feature. the ladies safety is and always is the number one priority here on cerb.

I respectfully disagree, Emily. When I see "Come and see me soon" to me it comes across as soliciting. So if I think that way, so will others and that is what the guys don't like. It also makes the Poster seem a little pushy or desperate. Just my two cents.

Well Once again I find myself easily identifying with Mr Daniel 17, I am also in the same situation. late 20's, ottawa area, and single. After reading your comments Danile my friend can I ever identify with your statements. In the last 3 summers I have participated in 7 weddings including my "younger" siblings. Never does it become more evident that you are alone then at weddings when all you see around are couples. Of course, when your there all people ask is what you do and who your with. Myself, I have always been single for a few reasons. In high school, working/sports was more important to me than dating. Then, as others chose to party and date I chose to continue working. People often misread this as avoidance or procrastination. Don't get me wrong, I believe in marriage, love, monogamy but all in due time and with the right woman. Call it old fashion, crazy or what have you but whne I feel it's the right person and right situation for me I will do it because I'm not one of those guys who wants to be 5 and divorced 3 times. At no time is it more difficult being single and not regarded upon as a failure then when your younger sibling gets married and in my culture(french canadian) when your younger sibling gets married before you its tradition to dance on your socks. It can become quite embarassing, in my case both the bride/groom were the youngest sblings so we were two guys to dance with 250 people watching, so basically they know your getting older and "STILL" not married! Of course for the benefit of my younger sibling I took it all in stride and we had great fun, but of course it still does have it's impact. It is veyr difficult to date these days even with several different avenues, and with alot of frinds being in couples as Daniel17 mentioned they do tend to stick to their "go to" couples. It's fun seing weddings and houses and kids but at some point things get harder. It's a greta compliment when friends want to always "set you up" or your aunts always say "I have the perfect girl for you!" but what exactly tells these people that you require input or efforts or that their is a problem with MY WAY of choosing who I see and what I do. So, when Danile asks: "why do people assume I am unhappy?" I can definetely understand his point of view as I have been comptemplating the exact same thoughts. Just my 2 cents

Wow, i think it is no different then the hobbiest looking repeatedly at our profiles, clearly they are interested in some way.....as it is a site for service providers and men looking for those services.....so why are we hiding? we all know why everyone is on here. we all share that much in common, thats how we have contact with each other, which eventually turns into friendship (cerbship). I dont think its distasteful to reply with a flirty message. I think its fun, light hearted, and exciting. pushing someone and soliciting is begging them to come see you and giving your location and rates and so on on their guestbook-which is not allowed. however saying a playful message like "come play soon" or "hope to meet you soon" etc should be considered just as light as saying see ya later or talk soon etc. ohhhh cerb what is going on?! SMILE! ;) Xoxoxo

To be Honest I thought it was the polite thing to do- to acknowledge and thank the people that have viewed your profile and to be flirtatious enough that they feel invited to visit again and again ;) I am disappointed it is gone. Same with the counter, as that added to the excitement of this site! It also helps determine if the thousands of dollars spent in advertising on here actually works...... I really enjoyed the last 10 visitors option and the counter was a bonus...... my fingers are crossed that it will all return as I miss being able to notice a potential new friend, and to thank them for their interest and their time -etc. xoxoxo

For security reasons i have disabled this feature and i am working on a way to let each user hoose to turn this on or off....problem is this feature is being abused. Urgency to remove this is because one of the ladies has a real bad stalker we cant get rid of. he is watchng her profile and contacts everyone who visits her profile and says bad things about her so no one sees her. i have banned him about 10 times and he keeps coming back with new ip and sneaking in. its adding to his obsession and hurting her business too so for now i disabled it. also... some of the sp's post on every persons wall who visits them and this is also getting complaints. I am looking for a solution that would enable each person to turn on or off this feature.

First off, IslandIndependant, apologies for my earlier response. Seriously I don't function well without a morning pot of coffee, and should have waited till I got home from work before replying I read the lines starting with "If a man is paying..." and honestly, it sounds, even now more like some guys who have made posts that are disrespectful towards SP's For me, and I'm sure for a lot of the gentlemen here, seeing a escort is more than just about sex. Yes, most definitely, sex is part of the encounter, but not the whole encounter. I like the entireity of the encounter, the initial meeting, conversation, sex, kissing/cuddling Another way to put it, I like encounters of two to three hours. I'm fifty years old...do you really believe I have two to three hours sexual stamina at my age?...no, I like the company of women for more than just sex. I don't know whether you have such a narrow shallow view of escorting because it was your mindset before entering the profession, or you have only met guys as clients who view you solely as a means for their sexual gratification. But it should be mutually beneficial. And that, for me doesn't mean money for sex. It means money to compensate for the lady's time, with the benefit of no relationship complications. What happens during the time can be mutually enjoyable and pleasurable. Seeing ladies shouldn't be a zero sum game...that whatever the gentleman gains is at the lady's loss Some coffee laden thoughts RG

On occasion, appreciative clients give me tickets to things like concerts and the theatre. These are great gifts. I'm thinking that the Fat Bastards might enjoy tickets to the demolition derby, right? :icon_lol:

I love the fact that I have no one to answer to anymore. I can come and go as I please. Hang out with the girlfriends without scheduling having to worry about someones schedule and my own. Don't get me wrong being in a relationship can be nice, if it's the right one and person for you and they can except you for who you are and you can do the same.

I have learned here that our profession is much more sophisticated and organized then what the general public realizes. That there is many more positive sides to this than the "horror" stories that the media puts out there. I also have learned that a community like this becomes more than just a job, or a place to advertise, but get real support from other's, and how important that support is to me and my well-being. I also have learned not to let other people's opinions of other people to cloud my own judgment on who they are as an individual. I love cerb:)

I dunno if its already been posted...but i always post this one on friend's facebook walls (provided they're not actually adopted) on their birthdays....but only if they love LOL cats ;-)

I don't know if it's just me being naive, but I thought we'd reached the point where condom use was just accepted as being a good idea on its own merits, and we had outgrown any connotations of mistrust or anything like that. I've never thought of it being about trust. Being naked, alone in a room with a stranger is trust<g>. You use condoms for the same reason you don't shower together with a toaster - it's just safety. And as the poet said, SAFE sex doesn't mean NO sex... ... it just means 'Use Your Imagination' ;)

Could not possibly pic just one as it depends on what I am in the mood for...but I love all these songs... Behind Blue eyes (The Who) Sugar Mountain (Neil Young) Piano Man (Billy Joel) Thank You (Led Zeppelin) Cat's in the Cradle (Jim Croce) Wild World (Cat Stevens) Have lots more, but apparently I'm in a mellow mood tonight...lol

Hey if its THAT serious....I thought we were all about safety first....?

I have a full time "other" job, I escort around my schedule so basically I have two full time jobs. I really enjoy relaxing with my clients and for me escorting is my escape from real life and the stress. Posted via Mobile Device

I appreciate your "two cents" Angela. But, If "come play soon" or "hope you come see me soon" etc, are considered soliciting then wouldn't even a simple hello be considered soliciting? From what I understand of cerb rules, to be considered soliciting you must say on their guestbook (which I have seen before...) "Hi I am available today, great rates, call me xxx-xxxx" Otherwise you are just considered to be friendly........ I have NOT and never would solicit on anybody's guestbook my availability location, services, rates or phone number. Anyway, i have never heard of any hobbiest being annoyed or feeling pressured by any lady they have recently viewed contacting them with a one liner-spread the love-type message......;) if i am wrong.....sorry gents.....its just in my nature to be super flirtatious. I have written these same message on SP's guestbooks.....I was never implying they pay me a visit........;) but....if they wanna come and play....... :) Again great job MOD on doing whatever you can with making things safer, but if someone is being stalked or harrassed to this degree the police should be involved and able to track him much faster......;) xoxoxoxoxo Come play soon to all the sexxxy cerbers!!!

Before everyone jumps to conclusions, sometimes ACRONYMS mean different things to different people. I was told it meant that when the guy is coming, he pushes down deep and holds it which some girls don't like. They prefer the guy to come and then back out before the penis becomes flacid thereby risking condom slippage. I have never been asked to do this so it is not common. So I think to most it probably means what folks are saying here. But that doesn't mean the SP's definition is the same. Some people think my COF (come on face) means CIM (come in mouth) which are same. Or that CIM (come in mouth) means swallow. I know girls who CIM, who then discretely spit it out.

And now the winner of the Homer Simpson Lookalike Contest:

Thanks PistolPete for bringing this to our attention. Hopefully Mod can bring this feature back. It's so sad that there are the crazies out there. I'm sure there are technical reason's for not disabling the one specific profile.

Well, I think there is some valuable advice in this thread, then. To sum it up, be very respectful in all your dealings with SPs starting from the first time you contact them. Show them that you are a man who can be trusted. When they come to your city, book an appointment, and keep it. If you do this, and a few more gentlemen do the same thing, then slowly Moncton's reputation will begin to change. Also, build your own reputation by participating more frequently on CERB, if that's something you enjoy. It will let ladies see that you are a reputable person and allow you to have casual online interactions with them which certainly won't hurt when they are travelling to your area.

I think it is pretty hard to specifically define a couple words on a page as soliciting or playful. It really depends on the 'relationship' between the 2 people and the context. If someone is saying 'come see me' on numerous hobby pages with no existing interaction than thats surely soliciting. But I prefer to edge on the more liberated side. After all lets not forget what this sight is about. I get tickled when a lady I might have had a small initial interaction with (even me viewing her page) posts a message. It doesn't mean I need to respond. And some ladies who I know do post random messages on my page. Some can just say 'hi' and I get that warm feeling. However, the original thread is not about posts on guest pages. It is about the loss of visiter information. Understanding and supporting the reason for its removal...I look forward to the optionality of its return. Cub

I will add my voice to the chorus that this is a useful and agreeable feature that helps promote socializing amongst CERB members... Touch

I think what is being suggested by Emily is that us as Paid Advertisers it is a great tool to utilize. Yes it would be completely inappropriate to SPAM members guestbooks. Because us agencies as well as MA working for an agency have to pay to be here we are forced to work hard and utilize all resources. If a member takes an interest in viewing our profile shows they are curious and/or interested in us so is it inappropriate to acknowlege there interest? I say NO. It is completely acceptable imho :) I think that having an option to turn this option on/off is a great idea as well so for those who do not enjoy this feature can turn it off :)

Here is a comment from a comedian, he said : " If i were standing at an intersection waiting to cross the street, and just seen 54% of the people get hit by cars.......would I really want to cross that street?" Of course this is referring to marriage........I laughed for days over that one!

This. 1. As Samantha eluded to if someone is willing to cover the entire cost of the travel a SP is more then willing to travel to any location. And I am sure many of us have been unknowing beneficiaries of a generous client. 2. Pre-booking. When a SP does an advance schedule post they are looking for reassurance that they can break even for their travel. Pre-booking helps reassure them. However.... 3. Reputation. A location's reputation also plays a part of their decision. A place with high no-shows, rude clients, reduces its attraction to visiting SP. Unfortunately Ottawa still has a bad rep for no-shows. Notice (1) and (2) are within our singular control while (3) requires a more coordinated effort by all of us.

I like the feature too, but I agree with winnipegcub - Safety before convenience always! If it's being used to harass SPs, I'm totally cool with not having it for a while, until it's made opt-out-able/friends-only, or otherwise tightened up to prevent this kind of misuse. We'll just have to be patient. Rushing where safety and security is concerned is always bad.

If marriage was the great end all that the majority of society makes it out to be, why is there a roughly 50% divorce rate...hardly what one would call a success story And I know a lot more people in unhappy marriages (part of the other 50%)...there has got to be nothing more lonely than being married to someone you don't love, nor want to be around Some ramblings from a single guy RG

interesting. I always thought that was a cute gesture :confused0024:

New Kylie Daniels pic. She's our current RHAG champion from our last redhead poll.

In my opinion stolen words are just as bad as stolen photos. It's deception and it's wrong, the words used to describe one provider cannot possibly be used to describe another. One of the more poorly run "agencies" in town here in Ottawa that I've nailed for using fake photos in the past recently started to use real pictures but has begun to use stolen text. In the last two months I've documented this along with 3 other indies in Ottawa that have done the same. http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress/?p=2806 http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress/?p=2834 In this posting in the comments section you'll see the failed agency's defence for using stolen words, unfreakinig believable : http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress/?p=2930 In a lot of cases the descriptions aren't even close and in the agency's case the girls aren't even aware of what's been posted. I've heard all the excuses about language, i'm not a good writer etc... the fact is some one else took the time to create the original ad and did so to describe themselves. Often these descriptions are quite personal in nature and make mention of likes and dislikes but aren't revised or edited. The description gives the reader a sense of who they might meet and who they are as a person but then when they meet they are nothing like the wrote or described.

Things I have learned in my life: 1. To be capable of loving, you MUST love yourself. 2. If you think you need someone else to "complete" you, you are selling yourself short. 3. Many of the friends you had as a young person will not be the friends that you have later on in life. As circumstances change, so does your group of friends. It's just a fact of life. 4. You only have one shot at life. LIVE it. Lamenting what could have been, what would have been or what should have been will only cause unneeded pain. 5. Love can and will be fleeting. Those who are able to capture it forever are truly blessed. You can't force it, trap it or tame it. It pounces upon you unexpectedly, and can leave with equal speed. Embrace it while you can. 6. Be comfortable being you. 7. You may have people that rely upon you, but the greatest reliance you must heed is to yourself. 8. Fill your life with joy and laughter. It comes from within. 9. KNOW who you are and what you need. To be cliche, the grass is NOT always greener in the other guy's backyard. You should print your thoughts today, and look back at them 10 years from now; then you can show them to your divorced buddies. Food for thought.

A fisking seems to be in order: That may be true for some guys, but not for all. And certainly not for the smart ones, I think. It seems to me that a lady who's having fun herself is more likely to want to make sure that I'm also having a good time, if only to make sure I come back in the future. Yes, there are some things you can expect from a boyfriend that you can't expect from a client. But I've read quite a few recos here that described situations that sounded quite romantic to me (although to put that in context, I'm crap at romantic stuff, so my judgement of this probably isn't worth much). And trust me, we *like* it if we manage to reduce the lady we're with to a quivering pile of orgasmic awesomeness, if only because it strokes our egos and makes us feel like newly-incarnated sex gods. We don't always manage it, alas, but... No. Absolutely not. Everyone has limits, however tightly or liberally they may choose to draw them, and there is absolutely no requirement for anyone to go beyond those limits just because an envelope with cash in it may have been placed somewhere earlier. It is not up to you to do what anyone wants you to do if you're not happy doing it, or if you just don't feel like it right now, or for any other reason. Or for no reason at all, if that's what you decide. Well, you probably can't stop him. And I suspect that you probably shouldn't, either. After all, if he wants to treat you like a piece of meat, why on earth would you want him around for a second longer? Because he wants to have a good time too. And because, believe it or not, some of us are actually just nice people. No, you're a person I'd like to have the privilege of meeting, and I'd hope we would have fun together, and that you'd enjoy it as much as I would. Note the important word there: WE. I obviously can't speak for anyone else on this, but I think (and hope) that most of the guys here would agree with me on this. This may be true of some. It isn't true of all. There are as many reasons for seeing SPs as there are people who go to see them. And FWIW, hanging around in bars hoping to get lucky and getting increasingly desperate as closing-time approaches is a really sucky way to spend an evening. On a lighter note... So when did "How To Have Sex With Escorts" become "How To Make Coffee"? Does supplying good coffee to your chosen SP get you better sex, or something? :)

I am open to this change up! Although, I do work with some boundaries. I can provide a massage with a hand job release at the beginning and after the massage session or just one in the beginning or ending. http://laramassage.webs.com/ [email protected] - Lara

If I'm going to visit someone I make sure to find out what is included first. I'm not about to ask for more then what is offered. If I was told something was on the menu before my visit and then told it would cost extra I would politley decline and would never return.

Well gentlemen, the beautiful Victoria Jolie and myself have finally decided to offer full interactive duos together!! An updated list of my duo partners (fully bisexual interactive duos): - Emma Alexandra - The Lovely Dorinda - Victoria Jolie I'm a very lucky lady!!! :)