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When my children were small and I had custody of 6 children under the age of 8, my husband and I made a combined income of $21 600 annually. I don't know if we qualified for welfare as it never occured to me to ask for it. Fast forward a decade and I was deported to Canada with nothing but a box of books, a track suit with runners, $23 and toothbrush. I lived on the street for about 2 months then got my car from the US and lived in it for 6 months. This time I considered asking for help but decided against it. I did what I had to do to put a roof over my head and move on. During my 8 months I met a variety of people that to this day I am in awe of. Before I had my car, the kids on the streets of Ottawa watched my back. They gave me a coat, fed me at times and sometimes offered me sanctuary with them at night when I had no where else to go. This was where I learned about homeless dogs. Once I had my car, I had somewhere to sleep but often had to choose between gas and food. People with almost nothing shared what they had with me. I hung out in the St.Laurent/Donald St area and I was welcomed to eat with people who obviously were on assistance by what they put on the table. I made friends and I was amazed at their willingness to help me when they had so little. I still keep in touch with some of these people, the ones who have hung on to my phone number and they know if they ever need me, I'm there. Are there people who milk the system? Perhaps but I will not stand in judgment as I know looks are deceiving. People meet me all the time and assume I am well set. Little do they know that the label clothing is all from thrift stores and my entire apartment was furnished with used everything. I have times when I struggle to cover the basics and the rest of the time, I make ends meet. My life isn't easy even tho many people think so. Until I have the power to walk in someone elses shoes, I will not be so grand as to think I know or understand their struggles and I will not assume someone is a parasite until I have complete information to make that kind of decision. It's easy to sit in front of our computers and discuss with distain those that need the safety nets we as a country have chosen to provide. It's harder to try to understand or even show trace empathy for those need help. No system is perfect but I'm glad we have what we do... cat

This is really contested subject because of complexities of it all. However, I don't believe that people choose to live on social assistance because in Ontario that is just not doable (you get around 350-400 for rent and the rest of the money which is around 200-300 for groceries, etc). A place (even just a room) for 250-400 does not exist, especially in London. Also, since most months average about 3-4 weeks and to have only 100/week to spend on groceries, public transportation, and other items one may need (medication, emergency money), 350-400 is just not enough to last for the month. Again, this amount mentioned is just for single people with no dependents and with no medical illnesses including addiction, mental health issues, which may or may not develop after experiencing these life changing situations and challenges. Also, once someone who is on social assistance is able to find a job, half of every dollar earned will be deducted while on social assistance (and that's if one finds a job.. remember employment rates, especially in London, have been rising or have made no change over the last year). So that means, one cannot even save money once on social assistance in order to get off of social assistance. In addition to the problem with unemployment rates, the actual amount received by those on social assistance is below the low income cut off rate (meaning, these people earn less than those who are considered to be on the lowest end of the poverty scale). Then on top of this, in order to qualify for social assistance, you cannot own a house, own a car, have no amount of money in savings, and have no credit, so this idea that these programs are there for individuals who just need "a bit of help" to get back on their feet is wrong--one does not receive social assistance unless they are literally below the lowest, as indicated earlier, on the lowest income cut off scale, and in dire need of assistance, are homeless or already experiencing homelessness. Then there are a bunch of other factors on who is able to access programs or who can qualify for other programs that are there to help individuals and families. Factors that are not always readily apparent. To the OP: I appreciate your concern and rant. It can be frustrating to see this happening but I believe actually understanding the entire picture of social assistance and how it works, who can actually get it, and how does one get off of it (which is like never because I indicated earlier that one cannot even have credit, money in savings, or save money to help get off of social assistance) may help with understanding the greater issue. I also can't see how or why some people would enjoy living on social assistance since it is about the demeaning thing in the world because it is a very intrusive system: having to show how poor your are, or how homeless you are. So I find it very hard to believe that some people "enjoy" living month to month on a one-time pay cheque. Yet, that is just my personal opinion. And I commend Cat for sharing her courageous story! You, like many others here, are an amazing person, inside and out :) Xo Here is an interesting blog post on this subject http://blog.211ontario.ca/2011/07/understanding-homelessness-in-ontario/ and the fellow mentioned in this subject does a lot of great work for advocating for those experiencing homelessness or who are homeless in London :)

I just got accepted to York University's Master's program in Women, Feminist and Gender Studies for September 2013!!!! Highlight of the day? More like highlight of the year! I AM SO EXCITED I COULD BURST. When I called my parents to tell them, I was crying with joy. I kid you not. My mom was like, why are you crying and I was like, BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY!

Dude. You'd be creating a situation where you exert power over her, and she's required to have sex with you according to a schedule or else you can threaten to take away her home. It wouldn't matter that you'd found someone foolish enough to sign such an agreement on some particularly dark day. What happens when she changes her mind about the service? What if you no longer "like" her? She has to leave her home because she's not servicing you? And what if she was so desperate that she had nowhere else to go and is afraid to say "no" or she'll be kicked out; she's now your monthly sex slave? Do not do this. Do not even consider putting another person in such a horrible situation. Additional Comments: Oh for fuck's sake.

There's of course no one blanket answer to the whole problem of people dependent upon assistance. Let's at least start by recognizing that there are many groups here: a) Yeah sure, those who are dependent on social assistance and wouldn't change even if they could. These are the folks that people talk about 'til their head bursts and who give the system a bad name. Then again -- capitalism, baby! Make the minimum investment for maximum possible return and screw everyone else and any sense of a larger duty to the society around you. Aren't these people doing exactly what our greed-based economy teaches them to do, and what we reward corporations for doing all the time? b) A set of people who are dependent and would like to escape, but don't know how and have no examples to follow; also, those who don't have the personal, internal intellectual or emotional resources to change. We need programs to reach out to these people and offer a path to better themselves. I personally think this accounts for a very large segment indeed. We who function in society forget how intimidating it is, and how insurmountable its minimum demands can seem when they've been outside your reach your entire life. c) The set of people who are capable of change, but whose circumstances prevent it. As an example: divorced single parents now struggling to care for kids they had in better times, and for whom jobs are unmanageable because they would cost more than they would bring in (daycare costs, transportation, a long series of things impossible to manage when you're isolated). There are people who manage to rise out of these circumstances despite the difficulties, and that's awesome. My own family worked hard to overcome humble beginnings. But let's not be too quick to judge those who are still struggling with the challenge. And when we're tempted to ask "gawd, how can they continue to live such tragic and unfulfilled lives?", maybe we should also ask: how do some people linger so long in sexless or loveless marriages? Financial self-neglect; emotional self-neglect. See, sometimes change is too terrifying, or the expected financial or social cost of change just seems too high. People get paralyzed in bad circumstances all the time. I try not to judge either case. As black and white as it looks from the outside, we just don't know all the circumstances. Who'll cast the first stone?

Cristy, I do not want to start an argument or fight with you but I have to say a a few things. As far as your comment regarding welfare recipients driving escalades, that is so ridiculous. I'm not saying that the statement is false because whoever is driving that escalade is either supplementing their income from some other illegal activity or it is someone who was doing very well in life and has fell hard and fast. To suggest that someone can afford an escalade on social assistance is just so ridiculous I can't find words for it. My guess is that you heard a story about someone who's probably getting welfare illegally and you blanket the whole community with the story of this person (or people) who scam the welfare system, it is not the majority I assure you. You're sadly misinformed, do some research and see what a single person or mother of 1,2,3 make on welfare, it's not a lot. Don't waste your time being angry at or envying the people on welfare. Couple other things, I agree we are all judgemental but I also believe your post was judgmental, it was like the first post that followed said, a rant. You're entitled to your opinion but just call it what it was. Additional Comments: RIGHT!!! But....you're blanketing the entire community with the actions of some criminals. In my opinion that is wrong. There are bad cops, bad lawyers, bad doctors. There are scumbags in every part of society, I just think it's wrong to judge the entire welfare community by the actions of these criminals. So are you saying that 65%(not a chance) of the community Emily lives in are living extravagantly? People who legally and legitimately live on welfare live below the poverty line. That is a fact!

Frankly I support the concept of a guaranteed annual income. Every person starting at age 16 receives x amount of money on January 1 of the each year. Not a pittance but not a bazillion dollars either, each year a calculation would be made to set that number. Enough to live on but that would be all, no EI, or welfare, no other assistance of any kind. There would be no tax exemptions but there would be no income tax on this amount and no means test to qualify. Those who chose to earn more would not be penalized and would still receive the guarantee. By eliminating all the government departments, agencies and NGO's that oversee the current social programming municipally, provincially and federally I'm pretty sure I would have plenty of dough to pay for it.....and more. Seems simple to me.....but then again maybe it's me who's simple :) Peace MG

Thanks for sharing Cat. It was informative to read your experience If you don't mind me asking: Why did you decide against asking for help? Would you have asked for government assistance if you knew it would take 8 months to get off the street? --- It's interesting to read your story and contrast it to my dad. He was a refugee of war. Homeless and with a bag of a few things, he sold everything except the clothes he wore. He was responsible for two of his sisters and baby brother, and worked bizarrely odd jobs to get them into this "house". This was a third world country, so social services were non-existent, but he did sometimes eat in mosques and churches when there was food. He got his break when he became a tea-boy (chai-wala) for a cement factory, where the plant manager admired his work ethics. After three years working there, and doing every job he could find to possibly rise up the ranks, the manager recommended he apply for a job in another country; another very entry level position, but she thought it would be the best thing for his life. He rose through the ranks of this conglomerate (can't say what it is for privacy) and almost reached the very top before he retired well before 65. I was born when things started to turn around for my parents, so I never knew that life. But while I usually take a softer approach to welfare and social assistance, my dad is much more 'conservative' (if that is the right word). His reason is the experience that defined his career (if he could do it, why can no one else). He considers himself of average intelligence, with no particular talent that sets him apart. But he throws everything he has on whatever task he sets his mind to. To him, absolute sacrifice, humility, and hard work is required before help is given in situations of poverty. Anything less shows a lack of dedication to see it through. I'm not advocating that his position on the matter is correct, or challenging the basis of anyone's values. It's just been enlightening to see people come from poverty to have wildly different views on the subject.

If the Devil would take her, I'd thank him for his pain! LOL

It's something I've never understood and I've learned that asking "Why do people ________?" questions is a waste of my time and energy. I leave answering the unanswerable for those who must have a better understanding than I about the workings of the human mind. The only thing I allow myself to get frustrated about is when I DROP THE BALL. It's the only thing I truly have control over. As for the homeless owning dogs, I feel very differently than Emily. The most balanced and stable dogs I've ever met belonged to the homeless. Dogs don't need fancy coats or fancy food. They are not status symbols or a child. They need a pack, they need to move, they need to know what their leader expects of them and they need to know their leader will provide. Hunger isn't a prevailing concern for dogs, instinctively they need to be hungry for most of the day. I've seen homeless people feed their dogs before they eat which is a level of committment that most pet owners don't have. They don't need a consistently warm environment, they are designed to live outside. They don't need a sterile environment, they have an admirable immunity built in. They don't need store bought toys unless they are bored which homeless dogs never are. Compared to the city dog owners I have met, I would give a dog to a homeless person before the typical pet owner, myself included... cat

I haven't wrote anything like this since high school. This is a poem I wrote the other night. I am curious what people are going to think its got a hidden twist. TORN I long for you every day and night. As I gaze into your eyes I see the light. I realize I Cannot be with you cause it ain't right. Flirting with you is a dangerous game, For I don't know if you feel the same. I'm tired of living life in vain. My desire for you grows strong. You are my salvation I crave for so long. I just don't know that we belong. Even though you're my fantasy. I know I cannot let it become reality. Society would not accept another casualty. You've cost me everything. But without I'm nothing. In the end I'm still hurting. I see other woman to help forget. So please don't object. I haven't met anyone yet. I cannot speak your name. People will think I'm insane. You're my only thoughts in my brain.

And I don't just mean more reviews and advertisers--but of course that would be welcome! I wish for a Cerb-perspective on the Montreal scene. I just find the atmosphere here so much more pleasant than the other boards that cover Montreal and Quebec City. The Green Board is like a grim prison movie: it's jam-packed with characters, but really run by couple different gangs with long scores to settle. The "guards" are swift and severe, but there's still tons of violence that gets out of hand way too fast and there's plenty of outright misogyny toward the handful of women brave enough to maintain a public presence there. The Blue Board is like a Michael Moore movie: they hate the green board and that's really all that is important. The Pink Board is in French, so it's easy to say it's like a Foreign Movie in that I'm not exactly sure what is going on, but there's likely to be some toplessness, a trip to a rustic summer home, and the villain from "Quantum of Solace will probably show up at some point. Hmm, maybe I sacrificed my metaphor for a few cheap jokes there. Anyway, for a lot of reasons Montreal is my preferred destination, but this my preferred board.

She is a fairly new member who advertises here. Not often that we get a new member who already has her own review on CowboyKennyy's site http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress CowboyKenny rocks!!!

Why don't you conventionally rent out the room to a conventional tenant Use your rental income to partake in this lifestyle This idea sounds bad. If the SP has to find a incall location since she can't use the condo , then she leaves the condo, (her "home" btw) to conduct business...remember, this for guys is an escape, but for the ladies, it is their livelihood, their work. Now everyone needs a place to go, a place they call home, to escape work and the outside world. Your proposed arrangement means for the lady who would accept it, when she is out she is likely practicing her profession. But when she comes to her so called "home" to her room in this condo, she needs to still be an SP, or risk being evicted (that's something nice hanging over her head always) so she has no escape from her working world Maybe I'm wrong but it sounds like you want a sexual partner you can control and she is completely dependent on you My vote, don't RG

Darling, if you want to live with a woman, get a bit of sex from her and officialize this with a contract, might as well just get married...joke joke! ;b But honestly, what if she doesn't respect the terms of your contract? Good luck fighting that in court...Don't forget that she would be considered as a tenant and therefore would have rights.

I'm sure with the right SP it could be an excellent arrangement but you need to find someone who is trustworthy, honors her word, responsible and appreciative of the opportunity. If you find a girl like this, chances are she can put a roof over her head on her own. The girls that this offer would attract would be more trouble than convenient. At $250 a session that would mean she's paying $1000 to $1250 a month depending, she could rent her own place for less and not have a man have a key which allows him to walk in anytime. Our living space is our sanctuary and needs to be a soft, safe place to land after a bad day. She would infact be sharing her space with you even if you don't live there. Again, a woman with the characteristics I've listed above would hesitate to place herself in this kind of arrangement with an unknown man. The two of you would need to have an excellent relationship before hand if you expect her to trust you enough to follow thru with this... cat

Danger Will Robinson, DANGER... cat

No problem at all Cristy. You seem like a lovely, thoughtful and intelligent woman. Truth be told, it makes me very sad to hear that you feel that way. It's not uncommon though. I think many people have gone through their lives being taken advantage of or treated poorly or just seen too much suffering. You start to feel that everyone has an angle or and ulterior motive or is just trying to get something from you. Perhaps I'm naive for a man my age but as someone who likes to help others and always assumes the best of people, it still affects me deeply when my good intentions are questioned. I understand how people who have been used in the past might feel that way but it's painful to be painted by the same brush. Perhaps that's why I'm so careful not to make generalizations about groups of people. I wouldn't want to do that to someone else either.

Thank you for your kind words. If I read them thru my natural filter, they seem complimentary and genuine. If I choose to read them thru a jade hued filter where people are dishonest and untrustworthy, they would seem like smoke being blown up my ass which is a fetish I charge a substantial extra fee for. Those who know me will know which filter I truly use. That said... I do not see how anyone can know what is in another's heart and mind therefore I cannot presume I'm in a position to judge them. Perhaps if it was a situation I had knowledge of all the details of the abuse, I may feel differently but having been painted several times in my life with a wide paintbrush I have learned that I didn't like it done to me, I won't do it someone else. You must personally harm me before I come out swinging, I won't take shots at people I don't know or assume I know the right thing for them to do. That's why we have legislation. It isn't perfect but it's better than the alternative. I have yet to meet a person breathing that hasn't encountered strife, abuse or difficulties. No life is without it on this planet... cat

Peace not war bro!

We all collectively pay through taxes to have roads fixed, medical care covered and our homes protected by police etc. They aren't just your problems, or my problems, they are problems everyone could have RG

Sure... Recycling is not only good for the environment but it is economical both personally and for your municipality and oh so easy to do. As for pets...if you can't afford to treat them as well as you treat yourself then you shouldn't have one. As for kids, unless you are financially and mentally stable enough to commit for a life time then buy a doll. Yeah, in a mood lol.

I believe it's a mistake to conflate socialism and communism. We enjoy many forms of socialism in this country. "Any society, any nation, is judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members ; the last, the least, the littlest." -Cardinal Roger Mahony Broken states like Somalia are examples of places where power and money rule and all are left to their own devices. We are a rich society. I don't begrudge anyone the basics of life. Providing essentials to prevent those less fortunate from starving or dying of easily curable diseases doesn't disincent the majority of people from working hard. It's just basic human decency to want to take care of those in need. I have pity for the homeless and sick. I don't want to see anyone suffer. I recognize that some 'take advantage' of my good will but it's a price I'm willing to pay to live in a society where all have a chance. If you're successful in our society it's because you took advantage of many forms of public infrastructure like roads, schools, hospitals, water and electricity. As Obama said, "You didn't build this." So why would you then turn and begrudge others the same advantages that you had? Seems selfish.

I guess that's a little off-topic but the segue was started above. WRT responsibility, the older I get, the less equipped I feel to judge anyone else. I don't know what someones life has been like, what tools they have at their disposal, what their upbringing has been. The argument can be applied to many things. "You're fat, why don't you just lose weight." "You're poor, why don't you make more money?" "You're homeless, why don't you get a job?" I think that a lot of us are born on third base thinking we've hit a triple. If we grew up in a shitty third world country, malnourished and under-educated, would we be successful? Is there something inherently better, more noble, more complete in us than in other humans? Or are we just more advantaged? We grew up with health care, education, hopefully parents who gave a shit, public infrastructure, clean water, enough food, etc. Things that took generations to build by our ancestors. There is a third world hidden in the first world. It's in native reserves, poor drug infested neighborhoods, abusive homes. We just don't see it as clearly. "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." - Sir Isaac Newton

You need to book a duo with ladies who have a connection with one another and with you. Nothing worse than a third wheel in the room. Everyone seeks something different in a duo, and what was great for one person may not be the experience that you are looking for, for yourself. So do your research. Book a lady you already enjoy spending time with, ask her who she enjoys working with and go from there, when you book with 2 ladies that you have never met - you are asking for a disaster.

Herewith provided, as a public service, ready when needed . . .

Would you agree that we all have a responsibility to take care of ourselves, our children, our pets, our planet. I mean without it where would we live? Well then why do some feel it's not their resposibility to support themselves-educating themselves or working so they can be independent. You know those who think the welfare and unemployment systems were set up to provide them with a supplemental income or a break because they find it to hard to bust their asses working everyday like everyone else. Those who think they deserve it or are owed it. These systems were set up for those who through no fault of their own fall on dire straights/hard times and need a temporary helping hand until they get back on their feet. I mean why as a taxpayer should I pay to heat someones home, pay their rent, feed their children when they are as capable and have as many opportunities as I? THINK- If you are going to have unprotected sex and you have no education/no income, there is a possibility that you may become pregnant. This means you need the means to raise YOUR child or children. It shouldn't mean because you've been irresponsible others should have to pay a price. I'm not talking about mistakes, horrible situations like rape,ect. I'm talking about those who are simply and intentionally irresponsible.THINK-and when you milk the systems-working/supplementing your income with unemployment/welfare while making a decent living, thats stealing and it affects all of us and isn't fair to those who are truly in need. No one is owed a living! Why do some search for a free pet then when they get it think it isn't their responsibilty to spay and neuter it, allow it to roam freely and populate irresponsibilty. Adding to the already exploding pet population. In the USA alone more than 8 million strays come into shelters yearly. More then half of them are euthanized simply because there is no place for them-WHY? Owning a pet is not a right it's a privilge so when you get one take care of it! For it's life! Why do some feel it's their neighbours, teachers, everyone elses responsibilty but their own to rear and raise their children. Yes parenting is hard but it's your job! Help is available but the responsibilty lies with you to make sure your child is happy, healthy,well behaved, educated and provided with food and shelter. Why are some not bothering to recycle and compost. This I will never understand. It angers me even more when those with kids neglect doing this as they should have a more vested interest in the health of the planet. They have someone to leave it to! Yes life is busy but it only takes a minute to separate food waste, plastics, glass, papers. Come on!! Why do some who suck on cigarettes, eat bad food, drink excessivley-just live an unhealhty lifestyle think it's not their fault they became sick. In Canada we are lucky your hospital visit or doctor visit will not directly come out of your pocket but our system is strained so why not do our part to make sure we don't needlessly burden it. We all make mistakes from time to time and possibly may need help too. But to have the attitude that you don't care because you are or have been irresponsible I just don't understand. I mean WHY?

Hmm...re-reading the original post, it sounds like the OP wouldn't be living there is that right? I suppose that might not be so bad...I first assumed they would be living together... Yikes. As Cat and others have said though, trying to find a girl you trust who isn't a train wreck and coming up with suitable terms and dealing with fall-out if you have to ask her to leave and.... Seems like a lot of trouble just to get some a few times a month. If you can afford to keep a luxury condo vacant, wouldn't it just be easier to go a-la-carte rather than signing up for the meal plan? :-D

Then a sugar baby would be a way much better option :) Sugar babies and SP are two completely different entities.

Lol the first thing that popped in my mind is the SP saying to you: no not tonight I have a headache...

Cat perhaps you are right I may see things through a jaded filter. To much volunteer work, seeing to many abused dogs, cats and the like. Perhaps this has made me some what synical as well. I understand and appreciate that you would care to take the time to explain this to me, it means alot. I'm not sure if I can change, become more understanding, excepting or if I even want to. I don't see people as being mostly good. I do think there is good in some but not all. I also believe most people look out for themselves and will walk over anyone to get it. I am always surprised when someone says or does something kind for me-always. I give you a great amount of credit for not being like myself as you seem to have far more reason to be, having gone through what you have gone through. When I was younger I was more like you, I was more excepting and thought everyone was my friend and were good. That everyone would help if someone needed help, I was so niave. It's funny how we change with age. I guess our personality, how we are raised, experiences, who we associate with all plays into how we become who and what we are, how we see and treat others.As much as I want to understand why people do what they do, perhaps I am unable too. Mr. Crufty- thank you I appreciate what you have said as well, thank you for taking the time.

Kisses ?? Wait a dog gone minute here !! Nobody said anything about kisses !! I soooo didn't get that memo. I will be there in March so I have delayed my V-string day and kisses until then ...... I am buying some drinks though. There is a sexy young lady riding a train about now that is gonna buy you a drink for me MN2 :) If your good. You must do the two step, the polka, the twist and the bird dance first however but you have been practicing if I remember correctly Have fun everyone :)

Hey Lee. I believe I saw that there is one spot left for you to come and collect that beer. Otherwise please allow me to distribute the hugs and Valentines kisses on your behalf?

I think part of the problem was that they wouldn't say where they had disposed of the cigarrette butts. Given the potential fire risk, they had to land to deal with it. I can only imagine how pissed off I'd be if my vacation was cut short by a day or two by assholes like that!

Hi Cristy. I don't think that any of us are advocating what you say. I'm all for tightening up the system to weed out cheaters and slackers. We're just saying that it's easy to get a disproportionate impression of the ratio of cheaters to legitimately needy. I feel that most of the needy who are benefiting from a helping hand are not seen or noticed and I still believe the cheaters are a minority. If you read the news too much you can start to think that all men are pedophiles and rapists, all cops are crooked, all dentists grope their patients, and so on. I think that what we're mostly trying to say is that for us, who are clever and resourceful and driven and educated, it would be much easier to improve our situation than for some of those who come from worse backgrounds. As has been said by others, social assistance can be a bit of a black hole that can suck people in and be hard to escape. Please don't feel that we're attacking you. I understand and support your viewpoint and am only trying to temper it with some alternative ways to think about it.

I don't mind you asking... I didn't ask because I couldn't ask. I was deported without identification thus a non entity. I wasn't walking into any government office in the event they took me back into custody because I couldn't prove who I was. Many of the issues I had in the US were fabricated so I wasn't going to take any chances here. I didn't have an address to have my birth certificate mailed to so it took close to a year before I was legitimized. I drove my car without a drivers license, thank goodness I was never stopped. Today I realize I would not have asked for help because I was traumatized when I returned. I was afraid of all forms of government and I have always struggled with asking for help from anyone. Not that I have ever trusted government but after a 4 year tussle with the US Feds, I still have physical reactions when I have to deal with any gov't official. 8 months on the streets isn't very long and it was a delicious form of freedom after what I had been thru. I'll take cold and hungry on the street over cold and hungry in a 4 by 8 any day... cat

I'm actually getting really excited too! I'll even be able to come out much earlier this time rather than my usual after 9pm drop in so I'll be able to catch some of the people I've missed in the past! --does happy-dance-- :)

Realistically none of us know the statistics concerning the amount of abuse or abusers. At least no one has come forward with that info yet. So to say it's a myth or that it isn't widespread,wouldn't that be a blanket statement?Surmising? and inaccurate.I have said that it happens, how much, I'm not sure, never said I knew but even a little is to much, ask somone who is affected by it. Those who work in social services, the police force, fire department, ect. they all take even a little abuse quite seriously and would never say well others here and others there are doing it as well. To justify one wrong by saying others are doing wrongs doesn't negate it's offence or affects on others. Scott, I appreciate your opinion but those that abuse systems shouldn't have advocates nor am I picking on anyone. On a last note if people are committing the above offenses you mention how could they then be lawabiding?

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I just wish it was easier to weed out the cheats and users without painting the legitimately needy with the same brush.

Let me rephrase this (As I mistyped what I meant to phrase), as I am a downtown dweller and not a suburban type of person, 65% of the people in the area of the city in which I live in, which can be referred to as downtown is on welfare or some form of social assistance (this does not take in effect, east , west, north, south or out lying areas). This sounds high, but if one took a poll on how many were on assistance in the projects in Toronto (or similar cities), it would be higher. Im not judging the entire community on welfare, (there are people who need it and have no other option) these people use welfare as a last resort not as a means to a lifestyle. It takes a bigger person to admit they need help. It may not look like a lot of money, and in fact is not to those who DO NEED it, but there are FAR too many milking the system.

Great post...and topic.... I agree wholeheartedly with what you have to say. i relocated almost 2 years ago to a city where 65% of people are on social assistance and they live for cheque day. There is a newspaper full of decent jobs (I know as I have looked). I dont understand it no matter how I try to process the train of thought that these people have. One of the main reasons this is such a trend, is that they are 2nd or 3rd generation social assistance receivers. They figure if they were raised ok on it, why not keep it up. Plus they see $$$ when they find out they get more money a month for each child they have. Goverment assistance is there for a short term fix, not as a lifestyle. It REALLY sickens me. In my building I am the ONLY person not on assistance, yet some of the other tenants live a more extravagant lifestyle than I do.....How is that possible? I was in the bank at home last week, I was the ONLY person in line not cashing a government cheque. I was raised to always want better for myself and my family, and I just could not subject myself to ever take a handout from the government day in and day out for the remainder of my life. After seeing how the other half lives for the last almost 2 years it sickens me. The fact that people are content with just getting by and not wanting better for themselves is a big part of the downward spiral. Better yet, how about the homeless people with pets? WTF you cant care for yourself so you decide to make an animals life miserable too?

I'd recommend Peachy Additional Comments:

On both nights last weekend, the sky was clear, the atmosphere was steady and the moon was nowhere in sight. This made for fantastic naked eye and binocular viewing. Jupiter was blindingly bright and it's moons were shining like jewels. Under dark skies, with the naked eye one could see the Andromeda galaxy and the Orion nebula and with binoculars one could see the reflected blue haze from the dust around the hot, blue, seven sisters in the Pleiades star cluster. This coming weekend could be another great chance to witness these amazing wonders. If you don't know where to look, you can download a free astronomy app for your phone or tablet and you'll learn to find these lovely winter marvels in no time. bk

Blue Crush....best ever fake jeans!!!!

If you are a cop Meaghan ..... not that I would ever ask....but if I can come see you would dress like this please ?? ;)

.. Or even worse when some guys cant even say hello but just send a one liner like "Available? Rate? Location?" Please, guys, make a full sentence! lol ;)

Good question! Trampling isn't really one of my "things", but I understand the mind-set and I've experienced it a bit in the past. 1. Why? For the "why", you have to start by wrapping your mind around the fetish itself: and like any other fetish, here some object is imbued irrationally with immense sexual significance. We all "get" that spike-heeled shoes and boots are sexy; they're presented that way in our culture all the time. Now just magnify that symbolic role immensely. For whatever reason, the shoes or boots in this case are extremely powerful sexual tokens all by themselves in the mind of the "enthusiast", and even moreso when "wielded" by a woman who herself grasps their sexual power. (That last bit is an important point. In my experience, an oblivious and uncomprehending woman saps the sexiness out of the fetish object when she tries to wield it clumsily and without understanding. Yet who can blame her? The fetishy aspect of something can be completely weird and incomprehensible to those who don't share it.) So, if sexy footwear is the absolute pinnacle of lustful sexiness to a guy, then having a woman "use" them on him is deeply exciting. Maybe it will help if you imagine that you've acquired a penis, except it's a boot. ;) (And you've got two of them!) Now... what are you going to do with it? 2. How? The actual standing on top of and trampling part is a way for the guy to submissively experience the footwear fetish. The power is all in the boots and the woman wearing them. Specific acts that appeal vary with the guy, but don't imagine that you're going hiking on his body and tromp about. You've got a sexual tool; use it seductively and a bit threateningly and you're on the right path. Go slowly, don't just jump on. Start with one foot while standing on the other, and then apply more weight to the "active" foot. Lean on something that will take part of your weight and work your way up to applying more pressure. You standing on top with both feet and without other support will be the pinnacle of the process, not the first thing you leap into. That kind of buildup is sexy in itself; the rising threat and tension, nursed and drawn out to maximum effect; think of it like building up to an orgasm. 3. Isn't this dangerous? Very good question. I guess the right answer is "well yeah, a bit." Keep in mind that people can have cars roll over their chests and suffer just some fractured ribs. The two most important parts are knowing where to step, and spreading your weight about; never put all your weight on a stiletto heel because yeah, just like it's namesake, that sucker is going to go right through someone's ribs. The chest and back are well protected and can bear considerable weight; but I've just decided I'm not really qualified to say what's safe and what's not, so seek some online resources and work it out with the guy before starting. Despite all those admonitions... just be reasonably careful, and have fun with it! I'm jealous of all the tools women have in their toolkits. ;)

Yeah I believe in love...I think the problem with high divorce rates is that our culture has become a very disposable one...in the sense that EVERYTHING is disposable. Whether it be a cell phone, a kitchen appliance or a relationship. Once upon a time, when something started showing signs of wear and tear, say, a VCR or something, we didn't automatically kick it to the curb and go out and buy a new one. We would open it up and tinker around with the insides and try to find the problem, often getting a shock, slicing our finger open, and cursing all the while, literally putting our blood, sweat and tears into it....but once it started working again, the feeling of reward and satisfaction was that much greater for the work we put into it. Or, worst case scenario, if we couldn't fix it ourselves we'd take it out and pay to have a professional repair it (read: tv repairman/marriage counselor). And only as a very last result would we even consider going out and buying a new one. This is not the case anymore, I think we've gotten it into our mind that everything is so easily disposable and replaceable, and whether it be consciously or subconsciously, this somehow includes relationships too. I'm not being holier than thou, I'm guilty of this too. I've never been married but I think every relationship I've been in, has ended too easily without putting up much of a fight, neither one of us made the necessary efforts needed to keep things going. Once things started getting boring or stale, we abandoned ship. The problems marriages/long term relationships encounter today are the exact same problems which were encountered 20, 30, 50, 100 years ago. The love felt today between two people is no less powerful than it was by two people in the past. The difference is now, in our culture today, no one is willing to put the necessary work into making something work. We just go on ebay and find a new one, often at what we perceive to be a better price. At least that's how I see it.