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I am going to age myself here but, I remember tv without a remote or cable. We had a landline and needed to actually talk to each other! Now a days, what with texts, emails and online forums, the art of communication has become almost robotic. Gone is the chance to be funny/sarcastic. Gone is the chance to be succinct without reproach. Gone is the emotion that makes a statement valid. The above is replaced with judgement. The above is replaced by not being able to read between the lines because the body language and facial expressions are not present. Not all of us are able to express ourselves adequately in words but yet we may be very adept in person. Before jumping all over someone's post, perhaps we should ask the OP more questions so that they may attempt to verbalize their intent. Some people try to inject humor but it comes off wrong online. Some people have a bit of a language barrier and may unintentionally post something they really didn't mean. Cerb is a positive place and therefor benefit of the doubt should prevail unless blatant negativity exists. My nickels worth. How has technology let you down?

When I first started as an SP, I went to see a young university kid and being around that age myself, I didn't find it weird that I found myself walking up the stairs to one of those old downtown 4 story buildings that looked like something out of a bad movie. Everything was going smoothly in his twin bed when I heard something creaking. Yes, that's right, he had a twin bed. I was known to get a little wild in the cowgirl position but something did not seem right. He chalked it up to his old bed and we joked that it would be no surprise if it broke. It was getting hotter and more intense and the sex was good. Building up in anticipation, I heard this creak once again and really thought the bed was going to collapse. The pace was just right, our bodies both in rhythm and our young fit bodies closely intertwined with one another. I looked into his eyes and thrusted into him harder when all of a sudden I heard a splitting crack. Without further notice, we screamed as we went right through the ceiling!!! Our naked bodies clung to each like saran wrap and below us some young Asian guy sitting on the floor watching t.v. only a few feet away from us as his jaw dropped to the floor. Boom!! We were sitting on a mattress smack dab in the middle of his living room both butt naked. I screamed in some pain for him to get me a towel and he called the 9-1-1, the fire department and paramedics. Forunately we were not hurt to the degree that we should have been ( ask my back that years later) and I was so embarassed that I snuck out of there with only a towel on and ran upstairs to see if the door to the guy's apartment was still open. Fortunately he never locked it and I got out of there like a bat out of hell. I never stuck around and if this happened today, you can bet on it that I would have sued the property management company who oversaw that building. I later recounted this story to someone I knew and they told me their ex boyfriend was a firefighter and him and his buddies were on the scene that night and that this incident was a legend. I don't know what was worse..this incident or banging a guy and causing him to have a heart attack. My back has never been the same since!

Technology has changed many people's behaviour in how they respond to one another. For example, when sending someone a text, how about at least a "Hello"? A person's voice and the pleasures of a conversation are now replaced with looking at words on a screen with no one talking back. It seems these days if you don't respond to someone' texts or phone calls and they can't get you at that very moment, it's almost as if there is a crisis. "Where are you?" "Why didn't you respond to my texts?". Back in the old days, if you couldn't get a hold of someone, you had to wait until they called you back or by attempting to contact them again. It seems as though as technology advances, as devices become faster, society has instant gratification issues. Could I go for a cell phone for a day? I sure could. I did it before. Human interaction and the actions that follow it seem to be replaced with technological devices and I would be curious to see how this will play out years from now.

Why does cof have to be YOU jacking off? Women have hands too! And I've had many a cum-splatter on my face while my tits did all the work... Just saying.

Comm technology just underscores Marshall McLuhan's thesis statement: "The medium is the message". When we buy-into the various & ever-evolving devices, are we diminishing our ability to transmit information in a humanistic way or are we simply struggling to find ways to plug ourselves into the global village?

When I joined Cerb, 2yrs ago I had no, absolutely no computer knowledge or tech abilities. I had just gotten my very first computer, I was not wanting to join " the technology age". It took me a little while to learn things, heck I didn't even know the keys, yes a true computer virgin. Nor did I know the etiquette. Being stubborn and one to never fully read anything, especially directions, rules, contracts, ect- a big mistake as I've suffered a few consequences. But that's okay:) I've always been one to accept the punishment of my deed. In saying all that I do still find it hard to get my point across when typing, as this post may illustrate, but I try. I also live a lifestyle that doesn't warrant the need to have the latest new tech gadget, nor do I want it. I prefer to put my money into a nice car, and to help animal shelters and their homeless animals:) What I do find frustrating in the tech age is the need for people to text instead off picking up the phone to talk, I hate that.

I'm sure it doesn't have to be said to a lot of people here but when visiting an SP, discretion goes a long way. When she gives specific instructions, please follow them and don't deter from them for what you think is just for your own safety and discretion. When an SP asks someone to do something where protocol is concerned, it's for a reason. Please don't go against it as it will only work against you. A person attempting to play secret agent and thinking they're going unnoticed only makes things worse for the SP and her stress level. This includes hanging around in her building, shouting her escort name at the intercom in the building saying they're there for an apt, hanging around in their car in the area she lives in and a client not parking where they were told to. It can be comparable to an SP going to a client's house on a outcall and have some person take her there in an old, loud junker car and she gets out wearing clothing that is less than discrete. I'm sure the client would be mortified wondering if any of their neighbors had just witnessed that or what they were thinking Someone thinks by parking way down the street and walking quite a ways isn't noticed by anyone? To someone living in the area, they would think to themselves, why wouldn't they have just parked at the person's house? People notice things like that and if a client is given specific instructions, please follow them. A client doesn't like to see neighbors after they've parked further down the street and have to walk past them after the fact. Had the person just parked their car as directed, they could have just gotten in their car and drove away. Playing secret agent doesn't always make a person invisible. In fact, it's drawing more attention to themselves. Sometimes the best way for a person to be discrete is to be out in the open and act like they belong there. And also when a client is playing secret agent with an SP, this makes her very weary and less inclined to go through with the appt. I've turned a few people away as a result of this. In an SP's environment and surroundings, she is aware of what is going on as opposed to the client going into unchartered territory. While this can be nerve wracking for some clients to visit an SP and worried about being jumped by some Bubba behind the door, it is best to do your homework first. However, and as far as I know, SPs here on Cerb are not into bait and switch tactics, robbing clients, etc. For both SP and client, neither of them know what they are walking into and I understand this. It can also be said for SPs who are inviting people into their own space and often times not knowing what to expect can also be very stressful. However, those who don't follow instructions don't seem to care about their actions after not listening to the SP and then get all worried about it after, it's their own fault. When I ask someone to do something it's for a good reason and that is discretion. I get very upset when people go against what I say and I'm saying it for a reason...for mine and yours. It's almost as if I'm knocking and no one is answering and it's extremely frustrating not to mention disrespectful. If some can't follow instructions and are inconsiderate and indiscrete to discretion and protocol then it's not someone I want to see. Clients demand discretion and I expect the same in return. Thanks for your consideration.

Salt & pepper hair is a sign of experience and wisdom :) I think it's sexy, personally. Even pure grey or white can be sexy on a man who wears it with confidence. A confident man will accept all aspects of the aging process with pride and make it look graceful. I have always liked older men though, so that's just my opinion, but I know I am not the only one who feels this way. :) Embrace it! :biggrin:

I enjoy the ability to be able to say something to someone when I remember it be it 7am 10pm or 3am or no matter where I am. I spent many years in management with a phone or radio strapped to me and then had some issues caused by one of the first cell phone batteries so now, I dislike the phone immensely. I do miss the days of hanging out and having a conversation because face to face is still the most brilliant interaction possible. One thing I don't understand is the younger kids sitting in a room together texting one another. THAT is when I realize how bad it's gotten. Our young people talk in slang or text speak and I wonder what that means when they get into the real world or for us when they do. As Nicolette said, we are also more of an instant gratification society now but we are also more of a self absorbed society too. People seem to be more into themselves and their little bubble especially in traffic. It's like they forget there is anyone else there. Mind you, I couldn't do without the internet because it lets me keep in touch with those people who are most important to me. It also allows me knowledge and expression. Skype is wonderful for this too especially across miles, provinces and countries. I think technology is great, I think the way we incorporate it into our lives needs work.

Since I was pointed out in your comment (among others) Really? This added to your disappointment? I get being polite, but I never insulted him, or made any negative comments of any kind towards him. Just re-read the other comments, and they weren't even rude, more of an explanation. And for continuing on this derailment (Sorry!)

Something else, maybe it's appropriate to interpose here. What happens in an encounter is private between the lady and gentleman. The only thing about the encounter that can be shared with others is what is written in a recommendation, and only imho after the lady has read and ok'd the recommendation for posting. But details, whether it is the lady's phone number, or her address, or intimate details of the encounter, that is between the lady and gentleman and only for them to know. Besides being discrete, it adds to the intimacy that two people shared in an encounter. A quick rambling RG

On the side track issue, yes I don't actually know of any doctor, chiropractor, or dentist or other similar professions that don't have 24 hour notice requirements, before charging the client for the appointment that they no show or cancel on the same day. In these days of medical insurance, I would hazard a guess that those who don't know about these standard policies just don't know about them because they don't pay out of pocket. I book appts for a friend for a chiropractor that has to be paid in cash, and get reminded on the phone that if the patient is too late to make the appointment and the doctor can't see him he will be charged for that appointment anyway (because he is chronically late) I also get involved in booking hotels and exhibit booths, and some hotels and all exhibitions require prepayment. The exhibit is paid half in advance, and the other half closer to the date, but definitely prior to set up. Some hotels require payment of the first night, which is non refundable unless changed 24 hours in advance. So if the party arrives to the hotel and doesn't want to actually stay, they will still be charged for that night regardless. Lots of examples of such nonrefundable or cancelation policies are out there. Like it or not. And the difference here of course is that sps who do not have the good reputation or professionalism are not the ones coming up with cancel fees. We are talking about sps who incur costs to provide that appointment, who have solid experience, history, and reputations, good business practises, good ethics and good attitudes. These are the ladies who not just deserve to be compensated for that no show or late cancel, but need to be because they are the ones who went out of their way to accommodate the client's requests. Same with some sps require deposits for longer appointments, travel arrangements etc, non refundable as well. For other sps, we work on short notice, same day bookings, use confirmation calls half hour prior to the appointment time, and other ways to reduce the impact of no shows or late cancelations. We are unlikely to ask for or need any cancel fees, because we are unlikely to be out of pocket just setting up the appointment for the client in the first place. Some sps do cancel last minute, and some maybe should be offering a discount on a future visit, but when they cancel the majority of clients are not actually losing the appointment fee. It is, for the most part, still in their pocket. It can still be used to see the same sp, another sp, or go towards the bills. When a client no shows on an sp who has a more involved booking process, lost income cannot be recovered most of the time. They don't have a waiting list of guys to call in the event they get some time freed up. And that is really what we are talking about in these cases.

From O-town such an easy city to get around in within minutes pending on the time of day and so much to offer. I've had SO many GREAT orgasm's in my time here in O-town, and the ladies here and that visit us are simply fabulous ;). I wouldn't change venues at all, but possibly..just possibly...move to the east coast.

TODAY 3:30 TO 11 WWJD? Fellow hobbyists If this is your first visit be sure to check out.. RECO'S http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...?ltr=R&t=82591 PIC'S http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=6979 I am a M/A with an INCREDIBLE drive.. A nautarlist at heart <3 ME in the buff = YOU leaving happy I am petite but my presence and personality are larger than life. I have a soft approch and a HARD finish. My techniques are magical And I love to entertain. Lucky you ! My Schedule: Thursday 3:30 to 11pm Friday 10 am to 11 pm Sunday 10 am to 9 pm Exclusively @ Angels

I think we can all agree that you provide us with many interesting and enlightening posts and those aren't just the news or interest stories you post. I enjoy your POV as well and your thoughts are well thought out. Looking forward to more!!

Judgmental strangers. They suck. Just had my dog out for a walk. He's a pug, and old, so gets tired fast. I make sure to take lots of breaks, and I carry a 'gulpy' pet water bottle that comes with a bowl attached, so he gets frequent water breaks. A random stranger just walked up to me and yelled at me that my dog is thirsty and 'that's why his tongue is out, he's thirsty!' I YELLED. I just gave him water. It's hot out, so his mouth is open. His tongue is ALWAYS out. And also: it's not your business. How dare someone walk past me and accuse me of mistreating my dog. I treat this dog better than I treat myself - I didn't even have a water bottle, but I had his. I hate hate hate people who do things like that. ARGH!!!!

Sometimes electronic media, be it emails/pm's/post's, has the unfortunate side effect that subtle nuances don't get picked up. For example sometimes something written in humour just gets read as nasty. But then again, that is where internet shorthand comes in, such as LOL etc. But the electronic media IMHO has actually brought us closer together. Take this board, well community for example. We are all here a bunch of like minded people. While we share a common lifestyle we also discuss other topics of interest. And we are members coast to coast. Electronic media has in fact brought a lot more people closer together. This just wouldn't happen back in the days of landlines, and no internet. But that said, one thing I don't understand (and maybe because I don't get it) is Facebook and Twitter. At work for example, a bunch of people are networked on Facebook talking on a computer after work what they talked to each other during the workday about. Anyhow, a rambling RG

Love this: http://theweek.com/article/index/223137/how-the-phone-stack-is-civilizing-dinners-out-with-friends

This is seduction of the Highest Order Lay down Relax, and let Carnal emotions take over Inhale deeply and put your mind at ease Allow me to lead you into never ending ecstasy Placing my lips to yours I dare you to explore what's behind your mind's locked doors Mesmerizing you with my Soft Kisses Bewitching you with my touch I have you right where I want you After this is over Memories of me will Haunt you Biting softly on your neck I release your inhibitions Your Dying to be with me Pleading to be tempted How can I be Resisted After all this is Seduction of the Highest Order..... Contact me by PM, text me at 613-277-4328 , or call the Spa at 613-274-7073 to Ensure My Check out what others are saying about my service!! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=111731 Schedule Thursday July 4th: 10:00am - 7:00pm 65 Bentley Ave. 613-274-7073 Friday July 5th: 4:00pm - 11:00pm 65 Bentley Ave. 613-274-7073 Sunday July 7th: 10:00am - 4:00pm 65 Bentley Ave. 613-274-7073 Sexuality is not a Leisure or Part-time Activity It is a way of Being -Alexander

I'm going to sound like the young one. I do enjoy the convenience of texting and certain technologies. I agree a lot is lost in context when writing. As for other technology that has let me down I would have to say there is a lot. It all come down to greed and money. We have the ability to make the world a better place but we don't why cause it cost too much or its not worth losing income over. We had the knowledge of electric cars decades ago but only in the past few years have we started using it. Why, cause gas make money. We should already have cures for certain disease but why invest in a cure and lose out on money from the drugs that slow the process down. Heck why do we still develop weapons of mass destruction. Why is there still starving people cause it all cost money that greed has prevented us from changing.

You can ask politely, preach and pray that all will follow rules, use common sense, but in the end people do what they want. All one can do is choose the good clients that are discreet and follow your guidelines and ignore the rest. I have learned in this business there are SOME nice clients, SOME who play games, SOME who follow protocol to a T and SOME who just won't follow directions even if they were lead by them on a leash! So my advise would be, treasure the good ones and worry about things you can control:)

My biggest pet peeve....when I say you can park int he laneway (or the more popular central canadian expression - park in the driveway) do so! Nothing is more obvious in a residential neighborhood than someone who parks on the street and walks on down to a home with a big empty laneway! I may not include that in my ads but I certainly state it upon confirmation of address!

Just so I am clear...you want him to be allowed to bash my thread? Just because he's new? No, like everyone else he will sooner or later learn that if he has nothing nice to say, cerb isn't the place to say it. His comment was uncalled for, new member or not. I'm glad the members stepped in to help educate him on how things work here... The ladies here have enjoyed this thread, mod states there are no issues with it... so let's please not create some. Now let's get back to the topic at hand:

Way way back in time, my girlfriend and I were enjoying each other's company one evening. Her face seemed to have a special glow. Then I realized one of the mood candles had set fire to her pillow! I'm all for hot sex but one must draw the line somewhere.

Ottawa suits me well. I love the distinct seasons. I love all of the festivals. I love all the the green space. I love that its small enough to get around with ease but that its big enough to provide me with the entertainment I crave. I love that I can easily hop on a plane to other destinations. I love that I can easily drive to Toronto, Montreal and Kingston. And finally, I love my home!

Great thread! I'm in Ottawa, and I came here from Toronto after University, thinking I'd head back there after a few years. But, I'm still here. I love it here. I like the small city, and I LOVE this city in the summertime - Gatineau Park, the bike trails, everything outdoors in this city is gorgeous in the summer. But mostly what I love about where I live, is right in my house - my three kitties and my puggy :) They make anywhere home.

LOOKING FOR A LUXURY COMPANION? look no further.. You may reach me @613-820-8887 or you can email me directly @ [email protected] Join me for a sensual massage session at our elite upscale location .. .We have a gorgeous hot tub, showers in every room.. and a two person rainfall shower.. that is sure to please.. My no -rush service is sure to leave you feeling pleased and relaxed.. I love reverse massages as well and truly enjoy making my clients happy.. I take extreme pride in my appearance and am always impeccably groomed. You will find me rare unique blend of class,beauty and femininity .I belive in getting to know each one of my clients personally to create a tailored expirience.I do my very best to unsure your session is discreet and handled with care. I aim to please!!! I am a passionate woman with incredible sex appeal who enjoys making you the center my world for each of our visits.I am charismatic,sensual and easy going , I believe that possessing these qualities makes me a rare gem!! I strive to leave my clients feeling relaxed and wanting more. My service is for the distinguished ,affluent gentlemen who enjoys the company of and effervescent lady. Lets get to know each other?? HERE UNTIL 11 PM Height:5'7 Bust:34b Eyes:green Hair:blonde/red Nationality: french/Spanish A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Hello Gentlemen My name is Cherry. I am 20 years of age, with Blond hair and bright blue eyes. I have a fit, tight body. I am 5'3, 118 pounds, and very tanned baby soft skin! I am new to massage. I have been working in the massage industry for just over a month now. I am very outgoing and open minded and I have a lot of class. My services include body slides, full body massage, Hottub sessions and reverse massage. & I cater to some fetish's! Everything that goes on in our session together is 100% confidential. You can find me in the West end of Ottawa, Paradise Spa. This week's Schedule TODAY July 4th 9am-4pm Friday July 5th 3:30-11pm To make a appointment at the spa for your playtime 613-820-8887 [email protected] xoxox

Might want to change your name to femme fatale wow. Should advice clients to write a will before booking with you.

I do love technology and the unlimited possibilities of it even though as a vintage player I am just nibbling at the edges. I tend to write the same way I speak and appreciate word play and because subtlety can be lost electronically I am much more succinct and direct than I would be during a face to face conversation. I like twitter for this reason, one must learn to be succinct with 120 character limit :) Peace MG

Hello Gentlemen, My name is Sasha, I'm a young fit MA who loves to massage and can do it for hours ... My sensual erotic GFE massage will relieve your tension while I provide you with sexy teasing fun that will lead to an explosion of heavenly pleasure, just tell me what your into... I'm petite 5'4, athletic 120 lbs, perky b34 bust, dark hair, golden tan, juicy round bum, seductive lips, hazel bedroom eyes and very open minded fun and comfortable to be with... Join me for some hot steamy fun available 9am-4pm call 613-614-2117 -Sasha xoxo

For me, there are real issues with being connected so immediately all the time. While I think the written form carries with it problems of misinterpretation, the speed of communication is another issue. The immediacy of communication forms like text and e-mail are both a huge advantage and disadvantage. It seems to me being connected all the time, whether to individuals, communities, or work, can be too much. I'm a huge fan of technology, and quite addicted to my devices, but still one has to question some of the trade-offs we've made in terms of social interaction. Right now I'm on vacation, but I'm still getting inquiries from people who don't seem to understand I'm away. I could turn off my phone, but some of the messages are important, and need to be addressed, if only to forward them to someone else. Maybe next year I'll get the nerve up to leave the phone behind. Porthos

She is every man's dream, but she couldn't be more real! I've only ever seen her once. It was November, and I still think about her :)

From Gabriella Laurence album : A very beautiful woman

I'm probably too young to think this curmudgeonly, but the idea that a person should always be available for an immediate response saddens me. I don't tend to text that much in part because I don't want the expectation that as soon as I get an alert I'll have to stop whatever (or whoever) I'm doing to answer it. It seems addictive. Have you ever seen how quickly a movie theatre lights up from phones once the credits roll; as if a couple hours unconnected to the rest of the world has put people into withdrawal! If the Breakfast Club came out today, it would be a movie about a group of people sitting in a room looking at their phones. Anyway, to get back to the original questions, this is all to say I don't think anyone should mine if it's a day or two getting back to general pm's. And while I agree it's considerate of an SP to answer all notes, I would hope most people would appreciate how many messages she gets and how busy people are. So even if the response to such general messages is just a quick "thanks!" or "you too" as an acknowledgement, perhaps with a smily or "xoxo" thrown in for good measure, that should really be sufficient.

Well things happen and people sometimes make nervous mistakes or their nervousness cloud their judgement. I once had a reg SP that preferred coming to my place. So on her 2nd visit we never discussed my location again as I am located on a street corner and easy to remember the place. Unfortunately the neighbor on the next street corner who's house is similar to mine, except for color, bought a pick up truck same color and brand as mine with very little differences. So as the RV time approached, I peaked out my window and saw her pull into the other guy's driveway. I rushed to my door and shouted at her and caught her attention seconds before she rang his doorbell. We laughed at this every time we met afterwards. Thing is she had been at my place before and knew I was on the 2nd street corner but she got distracted by the other truck.. So I can understand some ppl making mistakes on a first visit.

Congrats, Cato :) xox

Congrats on your 7000th worthy post. Cheers my friend. And thanks for not just rambling on. ;-)

I live in Ottawa. I think the pictures speak for what I love about the city. These are the view from my balcony.

Good job castle and congrats on reaching 2000 post!

2000 Thats Great! Congrats!

Good evening . I know the university in Beffood has short term accomidations they rent out. Now with that being said, I dont think its Sp friendly. Theres a few motels in Dartmouth that have short term rates also. Hope this helpd abit

I love the Lifestyle Skyn. They have a snug fit so you have to be careful but with a sensitivity to latex I enjoy these. No rubber taste, transfer heat and work well.

Congratulations Castle on reaching 2000 posts mate!!! :D

Ditto, I texted her, and was told she needs to meet me over a required $25 webchat... Her messages also indicate that she is very picky and doesn't pick everyone... starting to sound like a webcam scam to me.. I'd like to hear otherwise...

Those are the best of the best. Robert Mitchum has always been a favorite of mine, something very very sexy about that man. The duke, my fathers favorite, he watched everything he played in. Although I'm not a huge western fan I would say anything with the Duke or Clint in it would be worthwhile:)

I'm in my 50's and have met women that are in their 20's,30's,40's and 50's. I think age is something that I have come accustomed too when being with women, they (at whatever age) are intelligent,mature,satisfying,great communicators and always made me feel right at ease and whatever their age. Try not get get hung up on only seeking someone your age, Kevin, you will be quite pleasantly surprised of the maturity,care and conviction and younger lady can give you too. :)

sitting here naked checking my emails

8. Safety first If you are a guy you KNOW that wearing a condom is akin to drinking beer with a straw. It's not as good as without but in the end, it's not that bad. Wearing a condom let's you go home to your significant other and not wear one. It's as simple as that. It also lets your wickedly awesome provider also go home to HER significant other (if applicable) and not have to demand that they wear one. It creates that safe barrier between both of you and the great unknown. The likelihood is that you are both very clean and very safe... but why take the risk??? If I can only make one super serious point in this entire thread, it's this. STDs are ugly. HIV is heinous. AIDS is deadly. Nuff said on dat. 9. Fragrance I know it's aesthetics, but we all like to smell good. Many of us have a particular scent that just works with our body chemistry. Not every commercially available scent is good. Ice Blue Aqua Velva is a manly scent that many of your grandfathers wore to cover the fact that their homes had no running water and that they could only bathe monthly. Aqua Velva, Brut and Hai Karate should not be worn by any man with a birth date after 1919. Bay Rum is used by pirates to kill scurvy and to keep other lonely, lusty pirates away. Anything that you purchased prior to the millennium should probably be used as drain cleaner. Febreeze is not an acceptable cologne. Scent should be used in a delicate fashion. You should be able to smell it only at very close range. Ohhhh... and your twig and berries do not require the assistance of any eau de cologne. No. They. Don't. Spray cologne on your arm. Now lick your arm. Lick it again. And again. And again. And again. Now give that arm a suck... oh yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about.... lick that arm until it gives you the goods... STOP. What does your mouth taste like? That's why you don't spray stuff on your tackle and bait. Ohhhhh... and here's a tip for both ladies and gents: If you are somebody that has sensitivities to fragrance PLEASE let it be known at time of booking. We all want to have a sexy time. Runny eyes, snotty noses and swollen tongues ... not so sexy. 10. First contact. Ohhhh the jitters. You have seen her. She is beautiful. She has two of those, and one of those and a great one of those... she has a beautiful mind, she expresses herself so well.... she's funny!!! She's profound. She's smart. She's perfect!!!!!!! I gotta write her. I have to PM her and ask if we can get together. I went to her website and checked the rates and the menu (like all SMART hobby guys do ;) ) ... and now I am ready to write her. I know what I want... I have the money put aside (thanks for reminding me of that Old Dog!!)... I am .... FUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKK.... what do I write??? Dear Alotta Fagina ... I have a 10 inch meat girder pulsing with lusty intent <THWACK> ... you're right maybe I was exaggerating, thanks for the head smack. Dear Alotta Fagina... I have a 7 inch purple python of love poised and waiting for your girl cave <THWACK> ... okay... maybe that sounded a little stalker like, but I do get kudos for being more accurate. Thanks again for the head smack. Dear Alotta Fagina... I have a 5.5 inch throbbing man stick just waiting for you to... <THWACK> ... okay... WTF??? Why do you keep hitting me???? Try "Hi Alotta, I saw your website and would be very interested in meeting you next Tuesday afternoon. Please let me know if that works with your schedule! Thanks, Happy Hobbyist." Simplicity works. You aren't writing a Penthouse letter... you are booking with a professional provider. She knows you are interested. She will see your penis. (There I said the penis word. Whooops said it again.) No need to go into goofy graphic detail... plus when you write that stuff, you get that creepy smile and that's frickin' scary ... stop it now. 11. Bacon Sandwiches. Providers - you know it. Bacon sandwiches save lives. It's not necessarily a deal breaker but I think it definitely would be a pot sweetener if you had bacon sandwiches as a mandatory refreshment at your incall. I like mine toasted with lettuce, tomato, mayo and a little salt and pepper. Cut into triangles, but you don't have to cut off the crusts. MegForFun cuts off the crusts for me but that is because she loves me. Bacon sandwiches will improve your business and will put you that much further ahead than providers who only provide ham sandwiches or cheese sandwiches and much further ahead than providers who don't make any sandwiches. Bacon sandwiches just make good business sense. wait there's more.... later ;)