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When I was growing up, Christmas was such a magical time. Setting up the Christmas tree with family, tobogganing in the snow in the park across the street, cuddling with my brothers and my dog by the roaring fire in the fireplace... It certainly was a wonderful time to be a child. Plus, we would always get a few cool gifts that we could share with our friends. Things started to change for me a little later in life, sometime in my teens, when the "Christmas Spirit" started to wane. I t wasn't so much about seeing friends and family, and more about struggling through the season, fighting our way around the mall, and somehow trying to find a gift for my parents, even though my budget meant I could never get them anything worthwhile. I began to resent the idea of having to "buy" something for someone, even knowing full well they'd never use it, just so I could meet my social obligation of buying someone something they really didn't need. With my brothers, I practically gave up - we would agree on a dollar amount beforehand, and exchange cards with the exact same amount of money inside, just so we wouldn't have to deal with the holiday hassle. I started to dread the onset of the holiday season because of it, and any magical feelings that Christmas invoked in me had long since disappeared. After all those years of stressing over gift-giving, I finally decided to give up on it this year. Instead of trying to find the perfect knick-knack for my Dad to put in his garage, or the perfect DVD that I knew my brother would love, or trying to figure out what I wanted them to give me, I just told everyone not to give gifts to me this year, and to use the money for something more important - I asked them to donate it to a charity of my choice, and I would do the same for their gifts as well. Christmas is supposed to be about the spirit of giving, but it's turned into the spirit of getting instead. Kids go back to school in January, and the first thing they ask each other is, "What did you GET for Christmas?" when they really should be asking, "What did you GIVE for Christmas?" In terms of our psychological and emotional health, it truly is better to give than to receive - those who help and give to others are considerably more happy than those who don't. So why don't we try to instill that feeling amongst our young relatives from an early age, and help them live happier lives as a result? The main reason I'm sharing this is because I want to promote a particular charity to those who might feel the same way. The Nature Conservancy of Canada is a wonderful organization dedicated to the preservation of Canada's natural beauty, and the wildlife that helps make our country so amazing. They do a lot of great work in protecting the environment that our wildlife depends on, ensuring that future generations will be able to marvel at and appreciate the same natural beauty that we sometimes take for granted. If there's someone special in your life and you can't think of a good gift to give them, then I highly recommend donating to the Nature Conservancy in their honour. It's the kind of gift that both the giver and receiver can feel good about, and at least you know the gift won't end up in the bottom drawer of someone's dresser, collecting dust with all the other pointless "gifts" we've given each other over the years. Trust me, you'll both feel really good because of it. :)

I am not fully blaming the client on this one. Chemistry is key and lets face it "your not for everyone and everyone is not for you" in this day and age it is easier for some to sit through a bad encounter than to leave (just quoting what I have heard from numerous people) For example and I will use myself as not to offend anyone. I offer a sensual gfe encounter (no pse and no greek) I dont feel I need to go any deeper on what may happen during our date as that will be between you and I. If you are a gentleman that is looking for certain menu items and not the entire package I will decline the visit as I dont want to be in a position when I meet you to start saying no to this and no to that instead of letting the session flow(there is nothing better than someone treating our date like ordering fast food or a pizza, ill have some DFK with a side of BBBJ and maybe some CIM for dessert) I spend hours each day on emails which I get to know who I am going to spending time with to ensure we are both on the same page and will have a good fit.(I would rather take the time to get to know someone prior to meeting so there is no misconception of our date) Chemistry is key to me and I devote 100% into each and every date I have. I would never think of giving any less, as I expect that my potential date will have the respect to respect me and my requirements. Keep in mind to some ladies this is quick cash to them and nothing more(they want you to cum and then leave), to others (myself included) this is my business and and I give it my all. For someone to ask how he can get more out of a date, well maybe he is booking the wrong company, as most of the ladies I know just want a clean, respectable date and the date will be wonderful for both parties. If you do your homework and be selective, you will have less chances at having the bad date no one desires.

Where to begin? What to say and how do I go about saying it correctly? I have always been one to get to the point so I might as well hurry up and get there. I am leaving Cerb and I just wanted to say thank you and goodbye. The reasons for my departure are not even entirely clear to me but I just know that it is time to go (at least for now). I am not the same man that I was when I first logged and chose my handle almost three years ago. I thought I needed time away in the past and I took it but to no avail. So today I have finally come to the decision to walk away and give (hobby) retirement a go. Some of you may have noticed that I hardly post anymore, I haven't written a reco. in months and I have gone into virtual hiding...almost lurking. This is not the person I actually am and if I can not enjoy something that is by its very nature fun and exciting then what is the point? I have met some wonderful ladies, had some amazing conversations and unfortunately had an argument or two but such is life. One can't experience the highs without having experienced the lows to contrast them to. So, once this thread is created and posted I will have some last minute housekeeping to do on my profile, copying of email addresses, messages to be sent and things of that sort. Followed by my resignation from Cerbs Town Council...yes I was on council since its inception AND I enjoyed my time there. Sadly I believe that is one reason why I must say goodbye. I found myself being less and less concerned with hobbying and more worried about "Council" stuff. Guess I forgot the main reason I was here was to make friends and "shag." Ha ha. Please don't get me wrong Mod and the other councilors are fantastic and I was honored that Mod chose me but...well...it's no longer for me. As I said the remaining Council all have the best interests of the board at heart so you should all be secure in that! Well as I said all good things must come to an end and so too does my message. Thank you one and all for making my Cerb life happy and enjoyable. To those of you who I have met thank you for allowing me to bask in your company. To those who I didn't meet, for whatever reason, all I can say is "guess it is my loss." To Katherine, Isabella and Penelope a special thanks for...well just being the ladies who you are. I have enjoyed our friendship and who knows possibly our paths will cross again if I pick up my hobby again in the future (which is always possible). Thank you all and take care of yourselves and each other. One last goodbye from Fenway Park...

Basically, there are a few things you can do to up your chances of a wonderful appointment, but even then, there are still going to be SP's and clients, who despite their best efforts, just don't click. It happens. That being said, here is what you can do to up your chances: -BE CLEAN--this means showering before the appointment and making sure everything is squeaky clean (this is always important, but even moreso if you are seeing a provider who offers bbbj--because let me just say, nothing is grosser than cheese dick. You know what I'm talking about). -BE POLITE--nothing is a bigger turn-off than offensive questions and comments. If you are not sure if something you want to ask or say might be offensive, err on the side of caution and don't say it. Or, at least preface it with some kind of disclaimer, "I'm really not trying to offend you, I am just curious if...." Don't ever ask personal questions such as "what's your real name?" or "do you have a boyfriend?" Just as I would NEVER inquire about your personal life, by the same token, I would hope that you would not ask me personal questions. It's one thing if the SP or client offers up this information, it's quite another to ask for it. -RESPECT BOUNDARIES--this is kind of a sub-category to being polite. Most of us state very clearly on our websites and in our ads what our restrictions are. Don't try to cross those boundaries. Saying things like, "Oh I'm really good looking" or "but I've been married for 20 years!" isn't going to make us change our minds. We put those restrictions in our ads and on our websites so that we don't have to sit down with you at the beginning of the appointment to go over what is appropriate and what isn't. Because nothing kills a mood more than "Ok, so you can do this, but don't ever do this. And if you do this, I'll do this." Etc. If you're not sure, ASK FIRST. Don't just do it and hope it's okay with the provider. Just as I would never stick my finger up your ass without asking first, don't stick your finger up mine without asking, even if you read in a review that I'm okay with ass-fingering (just an example). That's pretty much it. If you can keep those straight, you should be golden.

Keep it alive folks! I totally cried

I've never charged a cancellation fee, per se, but I do require new clients who cancel at the last minute to pay a deposit if they book another meeting. I've only had to do that three or four times, ever. I take some time exchanging e-mail and having at least one or two phone calls before I meet a client for the first time. This helps me establish a rapport with him and almost completely eliminates cancellations except for good, valid reasons. That's the whole point, anyway: for both the client and me to recognize that the other one is a real person deserving real respect and proper consideration. I do ask for deposits for long meetings, particularly if they're made far ahead of time. The possibility of booking a whole day, several evenings or a weekend and then having the time cancelled on short notice isn't something I entertain. I've never had a problem receiving the deposit and I've never had someone cancel suddenly, so far.

It takes two to tango very well with one another. Is there a guide to YMMV? nope, never will be one neither as far as I'm concerned. As Emily states above it has to do a lot with chemistry, as In my own experience, there have been ladies I have seen, and repeated with any place from 15-20 times and the 'chemistry' was/is excellent. There has been other times where I might of met a lady once or twice, and it just did not happen for either of us,but that is the nature of the beast, because people are not going to change their personalities, regardless of services provided by the lady. I'm certainly not going change my personality one hour before a appointment,nor do I expect a lady to change as well. Some people just really mesh with one another in this business, while some do not. I always carry myself in the same manner every time for every appointment, respectful,honest,clean,and expecting that yes YMMV with any encounter. I do not expect more from her, but once we have established rapport with each other, and the chemistry is there ;) the sex always gets better with each visit after the first one, its all about chemistry in boudoir together, that is my take on it.

\ Definitely there is that to be said. Many guys who complain about encounters, well right there you have it, they may simply be negative people and it would take an incredible effort for anyone to impress this sort of person. A nitpicker will find fault in everything, or complain about the things the sp never advertised nor promised, yet because the session lacked these things it is somehow her fault and not his for choosing to see her. And that is where the 'take a hard look' comes in. Is the guy trying to see sps who are simply not suited for the type of encounter he wants/needs? Is he deciding based only on one thing, (whether it service, attitude, price, whatever screening requirements she has) in some misguided hope that he will eventually find someone rather than simply provide what is necessary to increase his chances of seeing that one? And how many have such high and unrealistic expectations on first appts? Many sps are wary of new clients, from the time they book and may no show, to their arrival and may withold payment, to the time during the session when they may push boundaries, to the end when they may try to retrieve some of the donation, to afterwards when it turns out the were a reviewer who didn't like anything they did, even tho he was the one who chose to make an appt with her. On 2nd visits, a lot can change. Usually for the better, because none of the baggage is in the way. For example, I recently read a review of myself that was lukewarm, yet covered all of the things that I am and do. Everything I advertise, and what I would have told him on the phone. However, he decided to see me based not on anything provided (including a short review from someone who saw me and described me as I do myself) but based on forum posts. Then complained about it, including my conversation. And yet, I am to believe he came for the conversation? lol. For the right person, all of the things the reviewer found fault with (including a comment about how I look like my posted age was turned with negative tone lol). He was not the right person. Look at other reviews by the same person, altho he doesn't mind someone older, they are all thin by comparison. Altho he tolerates massage, a sensual massage start is not how he defines a good encounter, and yet that is exactly what my ad states, my conversation states, and my in person discussion states, and, for that matter, reviews he would have read state. So the moral of the story is: don't see a sensual massage curvy provider if your preferred session is a PSE encounter with a skinny woman. But if you do, for heaven's sake, take ownership on that and don't blame the sp if you can't figure out a ymmv to improve it.

Maybe the quality of encounters men have vary because of what Emily said. You quoted her, but maybe you should re-read what she said. And she said If someone is concerned about YMMV, they need to take a good hard look at themself and as its already been said be polite, well groomed, considerate and show respect to the lady they are visiting with and they should have NOTHING to worry about. My guess is that the guys complaining about the quality of their encounters are not polite, grooming not good, inconsiderate and/or disrespectful You say men would love to know what they can do to increase the probability of a positive encounter, try being polite, well groomed, considerate and show respect for the lady...in short, be a gentleman and treat the SP/MA like a lady RG

I've decided that taking the bus would be fun and exciting, and at first it was..I wondered why everyone had their "bus face" on, but, that's probably because I was new the the entire adventure of busing and couldn't possibly understand it. Today, I was alone on the bus for the first time in ten years. I've come to the conclusion that I too should wear a "bus face" because sucking it up is not an option. This may sound critical or cruel but I have a few suggestions for everyone taking the bus. Okay, mostly for the annoying or annoyed. Firstly PRIORITY SEATING! I'm seeing far too many youthful and healthy bus-ers having to be told to take a hike or being yelled at that a priority seat is needed. LESS COLOGNE OR EAU DE HOE! Phew, Is it stuffy in here? Did someone just spill a bottle or perfume? Some people are allergic, couldn't they just wait until they reached their destination to douse themselves with the bottle? NO BUMS IN FACE! Please, if standing is required, grab one side of the bus and face bum inward towards center and not my face. PRIVATE CONVERSATION ARE PRIVATE! and I really don't want to hear about your roommates syphilis headaches. GERMS! Please cover your mouth when you cough and not with your hand just to smear it on the bus. LOUD MUSIC! Do I really have to hear your Justin Beiber? And if you have to play it so loud because it's obviously "your" song, why do you still have your "bus face" on? Is it really too much to ask? Anyone notice anything else that annoys them? Next time I take the bus, I will most definitely take some soduko and music or maybe read and never be left stranded again.

Mmmmm .... Challenge accepted! :-)

Feeling empowered enough to deal with an issue that has been plagueing me for awhile. GIRL POWER. Ahhhhh the satisfaction :)

Things are a little slow at work so I've just reread this whole thread. I would suggest that the thread be moved to the "Hey, if you are new, you should read this" (I forgot the actual name of the section) because there is a lot of good advice here. Not just about adjusting the nature of an encounter to maximize the benefits - I think that's the polite way to put the original question - but also some good lessons regarding posting, phrasing, and discussion. Most importantly, there is a whole lot of good advice in the thread that could lead to improved outcomes. But, of course, YMMV.

My favourite part about the holidays is giving my loved ones gifts and seeing their faces when they open them. I'm usually really good at finding great gifts for people and so I really like the feeling of knowing that I surprised them with something great--even if it's not expensive. Just something well-thought out that I know they'll like. For example, my lover is a whiskey connoisseur and so I got him a set of those whiskey stones (these cool stones that you keep in the freezer and put in your drink to keep it cool, but unlike ice cubes they don't melt and dilute your liquor). I totally agree that Christmas should be about giving, not getting. I really do love giving. I just love watching people's faces light up when they get something awesome.

I like Old Dog because even though he knows that I travel, he has never attempted to try and book a date with me. LOL RG :-)

I used to keep a blog associated with my website and I use it not only to announce important updates, but also just to ramble about things that are going on in my life that I think clients might find interesting or relevant. I also used to write about sex work, generally. I haven't had time to start up a new one but I think I might again in the new year. I also read sex worker blogs fairly often. There are a ton of really good ones out there including Lusty Day, Sunny Drake, Juliet November (Born Whore), Mariko Passion, etc.

On a practical note, I would suggest you begin by "blogging to yourself" for a while, i.e. offline. It is a really hard discipline to write everyday or even just regularly every so often. Without that regularity of new entry or content, the blog withers, becoming a somewhat embarrassing monument/"failure" forever lurking in the recesses of the Internet. Just an observation/experience to consider. CB

Does that make you blue, da ba dee da ba die?

Erin, I will really make you blush! We really only need you here in the west end and are very fortunate to have you! Sensual Erin would be my one and only recommendation.... Rodehard

Oh no :( I was planning on wearing those boots and nothing else ;) A helpufl tip? To reduce the risks those heels present you could always tie me up to the bed (or in the living room or on the kitchen counter lol)!? Dear Santa, I would like to add more one more present to my Christmas list. It would be awesome if you could get Lee a plane ticket to Montreal or Ottawa! After all, he was a naughty naughty boy all year round too! Gabby xox

"Proper notice" is subjective. Most of my appointments are booked 1-3 days in advance, and if you give me 12 hours notice, there is a slim chance I will be able to fill your spot. That being said, I still abide by what I said previously in this thread, that is being understanding but reasonable about cancellations.

The awesome Sophia Varoushka, who graced Ottawa with her presence last week

Bonsoir Gabriella, Now that Santa knows your size, do you have a preferred colour?

Another non-traditional Christmas song that dovetails nicely with the spirit of this board Reggie Watts - Christmas is for Fucking

I'm really glad to see people chiming in here and hopefully hb will chime in here soon to see if we are heading in the right direction vis-a-vis his question. I think Emily and blueeyes56 represent the two points of view, but I respecfully assert that they are both right ... from their point of view. And, after thinking about this issue a lot today, I think that's the only way to consider the issue. From Emily's point of view (and probably that of many of the SPs that have posted on this topic), she is going to be wary of a guy trying to taking advantage of her. From blueeyes point of view (and mine), these encounters serve as a physical release but even more so as an emotional release, so we are looking to do whatever we can to increase the possibilty of making a connection. And so I want to update my response to hb -- there are many things you can do to mess up your chances for creating "chemistry," but its highly unlikely to have that until you establish a rapport by having multiple meetings with a lady and getting to know her. And then its not about extras or YMMV or anything like that (I dont think hb ever asked that anyways), its simply about getting to know someone on an intimate level ... those are going to be the best encounters if you give them the time to develop.

Well, this has nothing to do with the last song, but it's nevertheless relevant (and they have an awesome name, too). David Waddell and the Hellbound Train - Truck Broke Down Sorry, RG - but I couldn't resist it :)

kubrickfan, while I am a huge admirer of your posts I have to disagree with you on this one. The poster in question has started a few threads that have pushed the wrong buttons with a few people (one post which he deleted and re-wrote so it looked like he wrote nothing offensive) Secondly his wording of the following "How about what would inspire you to give your regularly listed services with that added "UMMPHH"(for lack of better terms)" could have been said a lot better to to not to offend people. Who is the poster and what right does he assume that WE do not provide 110% all of the time, as well what is he getting at. If you really read his post, it can be taken as how it was interpreted by quite a few people "what do I have to do to get more than what you offer" If someone is concerned about YMMV, they need to take a good hard look at themself and as its already been said be polite, well groomed, considerate and show respect to the lady they are visiting with and they should have NOTHING to worry about.

Jumping on the Erin bandwagon. I've taken a taxi out West from downtown to see her...and only needed it one-way cause I floated back downtown. If you are close to her, you are a lucky man! Cub Posted via Mobile Device

Sounds like both sides of the story are out. A once "life happens" cancellation is one thing, but serial cancellations, not cool, not cool at all...shows at bare minimum a disrespect for the lady's time, she could be seeing a paying client instead of waiting around for someone who doesn't show up If you want to be treated with respect, you have to treat others with respect too RG

Thanks to all that attended and all that supported the night but could not make it out... I do believe that a good time was had by all!!!! It was fantastic meeting all the new faces and reacquainting with all the friends that have been made over the history of these events... it's always a wonderful time to be in a place where you know you belong without any judgment. My special thanks goes out to Angela of Ottawa, without whom none of this could have been possible. Many have thanked me but my assistance was the proverbial tip of the iceberg; Angela was the true engine that drove the social machine. I am so proud to have seen the mountain of toys that we collected, the money and goods that we garnered for the family in Belleville and the spirit of giving that all of us shared last night and in the weeks leading up to the party. We truly are a group of people with heart. Finally... to the unsung assistants that help out at each of these events, my heartfelt thanks. You never get credit, but are always there lending a hand when we really need it. I am of course talking about Shortcake and Loneskater... two of the finest people you could ever meet, and two individuals that I am proud to count among my friends. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you... may the season bring you peace and joy!

well ladies, this would be fairly close to the top of my xmas wish list...

Darling Santa, I have been an extremely good girl this year and here's why I deserve to get my secret gift wish. 1. I haven't beaten anyone that didn't deserve it. 2. I haven't abused a single Honda this year. 3. I rescued a dog. (Yes,he's still alive!) 4. I quit smoking. 5. I didn't write a tell all book. 6. I stopped throwing water balloons off my balcony at drunk teenagers. 7. I stopped most of my OCD house cleaning behaviors. 8. I haven't left anyone tied to my bed longer than the agreed upon time limit. 9. I stopped messing with delivery men by wearing nothing to the door. 10. I no longer terrorize unsuspecting men in bars by leaving with their dates after they have paid for the drinks all evening. My secret wish: I want my Volvo to be finished. Yes, she is still being refurbished. I want her to have Ontario plates, registered and insured in my name. That way, I always have somewhere to live! cat

Good to see this thread turned around somewhat, from the very negative to the positive. All the best Lindsay.