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I knwo there have been several topics on this discussion but that brings me to the point on the topic. Why do you guys still ask to negotiate rates/services/guidelines For the last couple months I have had a member continue to make apointments with me and break them because he is ''nervous'' I explained to him that although I understand that this being his first time and nerves can be a factor, my time is valued and short notice cancelling is kind of an insult after the third time. I have to take some responsibility on this as well for giving him so many chances. But needless to say it is still not nice etiquette. Last night we were finally going to meet up for the last night on my special pricing. Than he wasn't able to meet my simple requirement of phoning to confirm the appointment because he doesn't want to use the cell phone his girlfriend and him share. I know we live in a world of high tech cell phone use but tehre are still pay phones in the area where I live that are able to be used. Than he told me that he would still come see me and pay my asking price but ONLY IF from the moment he got here til our hour is up that I ''suck his dick from start to finish even if he cums'' That right there to me was the end of my niceness. I explained to him that I am not a hoover and that is not how I operate my services. Than he tried to ask if instead of that option could he just pay me 100 dollars since he would HAVE TO take a cab to my place and back and thats going to cost money, and also would it be extra if he took a nother girl with him. Than I simply explained that I don't think I am the right girl for what he is looking for. And he send back a simple reply that says ''Ok :S" I guess that is supposed to be a confused face. What confuses me is how he is so confused? I have told him since we started communicating that I WILL NOT negotiate my rates nor will I accomodate his ridiclious requests just because he has to pay to make it to my location. I explained I am not in need for his money and I deserve what I ask for. I just don't get why after being told so many different times does he continue to ask such silly stupid questions! The most insulting thing is when he TELLS ME that he will pay me my requested amount but only if I do what he says for the hour. This is obvious not the type of client I want to deal with and I am glad in a way that he presented himself like this to avoid the awkwardness of dealing with this face to face but I find it extremely insulting that he seems to think because he is paying for me that I do what he wants or no deal.... Geez oh geez..

I think a lot of people have very complicated relationships with their own sexuality, and unfortunately as SPs you get to experience some of that first-hand -- even when it comes to something as simple as booking the appointment and setting its parameters. Consider the guy in question, who has a girlfriend but also a compulsive desire to have a sexual experience outside that relationship. You'd hope that he'd deal with that tension on his own and leave you out of it, and only contact you once he'd committed to a decision. Instead he's contacted you several times while in the middle of deciding, and so you're getting drawn into his own conflicted sexual desires. The whole "suck for an hour" thing must have come while he was at a high point on his desire curve; that's the kind of one-dimensional, cartoon-y experience he has in his mind that drives his craving for an appointment, and no doubt occupies his mind when he's... well... you know... taking care of business by himself. But like all cartoon fantasies that seem like great ideas in the throes of arousal, it only takes an orgasm plus 30 seconds to douse the whole thing in cold water and reveal its root silliness. Or maybe it's just being on the verge of actually taking the dive and the real risk of acting out a fantasy, to make someone who's conflicted stop at the last minute, panic, and back out. I'm sure even the healthiest of people can be conflicted about visiting *some* parts of their personal sexual map. So it's unfortunately not surprising to me that clients' interactions with SPs reflect that confusion, that feeling of yes-yes-yes-no!, that people can feel about sexual fantasies and the simple role of sexual curiosity in their own lives. I think people are subject to that confusion much more about things that are sexual than anything else. And finally when it comes to stuff like "you must do what I say! I'm paying!" or "can I get your company for a discount?", that's just power games and gawd *knows* those pollute sexual relationships all the time. Sorry you had to go through this, and that you're bound to go through this again with others. Anyone selling anything to the public experiences *some* of this, but I think a lot of it is a unique hazard built into this specific territory; it reflects people's special capacity for weirdness, confusion, and conflict when it comes to acting on their own sexual desires and fantasies.

The best part of my day yesterday was spending time with my dad at a local parade and watching fireworks at 10 pm. My dad was a businessman all of his life and he worked 7 days a week, never took time to take us out to any activities(my mom did that), and I missed doing those things with my dad. So Yesterday(Canada day) I went and got him from the retirement home and went to the parade, he realized what he had missed all these years. I'm happy he enjoyed himself and I was glad to spend time with him.

Canada Day, as with many other holidays has come with traditions that evolved over time. One wish I always wanted was to be on Parliament Hill for the whole of Canada Day in order to take in the entertainment, enjoy the atmosphere and end it off with fireworks. I actually did manage to get ther just once and spent the day on the Hill, in the rain, and then late in the evening hearing that the fireworks were cancelled because of the high winds. Even with that it was still a day to look back at fondly. So for me the normal tradition of Canada Day on PEI will be intact for this year. Lots of family here, a gorgeous warm sunny day with a nice breeze. The lobster is from the last haul of the season yesterday along with potato salad, cole slaw, a garden salad made with some early things from my garden. We will finish off with a fresh bowl of strawberries for dessert. After dinner the short drive to Charlottetown to watch fireworks. It is interesting that yesterday I heard a report on the news that in a survey 70% of the people they polled would be interested in having a maple leaf tattoo. For me that's the one and only tattoo I have so maybe for once I am ahead of the curve. The more that I travel and the more that I speak with people who are international travellers, the more that I appreciate all it is that being a Canadian and living in Canada brings. Happy Canada Day everyone!

I accept it because I handle it often, but for someone who does not, it could be hard for them to know how to spot the fakes. Always ask before arrival, in any case. Even tho you might lost a few points taking it back to the bank, I would give this piece of advice too. If the exchange rate is in our favour or not, I don't accept US at par. If we are even or even getting a little less Cdn back, I would expect to get more US than Cdn. If my rate for something were 120, and the bank rate is pretty much even, I would accept 125-130 US to be equivalent. I would not accept 120 US alone. But that's just because I am usually up on the rates, and the diff between buy and sell, and might be able to use it if I don't convert it. Sometimes I have no US trips, and would have to convert it and the bank rate swings against me, meaning when I take it in that 125 becomes 119 lol

I think you have a cynical idea of marriage. I suppose I would be more like your parents generation, and my union did survive until my wife's death. One takes an oath at the wedding, and maybe it's a matter that todays partners don't understand that fact and that their word doesn't carry the same weight. Marriage has it's ups and downs and takes a lot of work to make it work. I also disagree with your assertion that a relationship with an SP is a more honest. Seeing an Sp behind your partners back is a cop out if you hold it up as a substitute for a lack of intimacy in your relationship. It just means that you lazy and aren't communicating and doing the hard work at maintaining your marriage. If you're not having sex then it's a pretty clear indication you have been ignoring the things that are important, i.e. when the wife comes home worn out from a day at work, you take her out to supper or get her to sit down while you do supper. As a married person, once you embrace this lifestyle it's pretty hard to go back. I am a widower and can participate here as I don't really expect to have an other long time partner, unless it happens by chance.

Personal happiness and fulfilling relationships are entirely achievable -- but you knew that already. I think the real question is "how are they achieved?", and that's more complicated. Let me start by saying that relationships with SPs can be *very* rewarding and honest and valuable, but they do come with built-in limitations. They're a bit like relationships with training wheels, because they have such safe, clearly defined boundaries, and because the relationship is only there for a few hours at a time when you want it, and it's never there and places no demands on you when you don't. You can learn a lot about yourself and how it's possible to behave intimately with others in a client-SP relationship; but I think those are lessons we need to carry into other "real" relationships, rather than settling on those relationships as the final product. In other posts I've compared the client-SP relationship to the one you might have with a psychotherapist: the professional you're seeing is a real, whole person, and probably really does care about you, and you can have some very honest and intimate and important exchanges about really important things -- BUT it's still a professional relationship, it only happens within specific boundaries, and it only happens one all-too-brief appointment at a time. Your psychotherapist cares about you, and can play an important, healthy role in your life, but she's not literally your *friend*, she's your therapist. I'm certain that SPs can genuinely come to care about the clients they see often enough to get to know, but the same limitations apply. Other relationships: yeah, marriage is pretty disposable these days. I've posted at least once before here about the withering away of traditional institutions, and that we tend to look first to our individual fulfillment and happiness. In many ways that's a very good thing; being trapped within a broken institution (marriage, church, whatever) ruined many, many lives during the long period when nobody dared challenge those institutions. But on the other hand, putting ourselves first can make us give up on the things we belong to sooner than we should. You just need to find good, well-grounded people who are able to take care of themselves but also commit to, and make sacrifices for, the relationship and the life you can build together. And of course you need to be that person too: willing to compromise, work with the assets your partner brings, and forgive him or her for any weaknesses. It varies with the couple, but sometimes sex plays only the teeniest, tiniest role in that life. That's why the carnal joys of that first glow in the early days of a relationship may be a terrible predictor of how you're going to do together long-term. They're two whole different sets of skills and assets. I never married either. Explaining why would make this long post even longer, so we'll skip that. Really short version would be that I was a late bloomer -- in some respects, *too* late. I sometimes envy the people who found each other in their early 20s, married, and built a life and family together right from the start. By the time you're in your 30s and 40s, you're already off that path and the thing you're looking to build is different than it was in your 20s. But on the other hand, as you say, there are at more disastrous early marriages than there are success stories. You've just got to keep looking for mature, well-grounded people, those who aren't grasping or materialistic, who have some wisdom about them and have grown from their experiences in life. And agree to build a life together, and have fun seeing what that cooperative effort looks like, instead of using the relationship solely to complete our own personal, rigid checklists. The life you build with someone else is going to look different from the one you'd build solo; that's the cost and the benefit of involving someone else in the project. I think that coming to terms with that is one of the hurdles that gives many people trouble. The pool of such people isn't that large, it's true. And they grow harder to find as time passes. But it's worth the effort, and I know that these relationships do happen.

My experience and practice is when contacting a new lady who requires a reference, provide all other verification information (name, phone, email, board handle confirmed via pm) I let her know a reference is forthcoming but I wish to contact the lady first (IMHO seems a bit rude if a lady is contacted out of the blue by another lady to provide a reference for a guy, without being asked if it's ok first) and ask for her permission to use her as a reference I would think it's up to the lady who requires a reference to contact the reference provider, a reference provider shouldn't be obliged to contact the lady. Now if you have no one who can provide a reference for you, there are some on line verification sites (date check is one I believe) that you can join. My advice is be as forthcoming and open as possible with the lady. Starting off your encounter before you even meet by compling with verification requirements leads to a trusting SP/Client relationship and a good if not great encounter when you do meet My morning rambling RG

Ooop, search engine is my friend, thanks for the link! With that thread and your suggestion above, I think we'll have plenty of options for restaurants! I'm thinking of spending an evening in old montreal, but looking for something more upbeat the next evening. ANyone have recommendations for clubs/bars that are fun, not too swanky but not too divey, for an early-30s crowd?

Might sound strange but the casual look is a huge turn on for me. Jeans and a t-shirt, pj's, very little (if any) makeup. Whatever you would normally be seen wearing when your out running errands or around around the house on any other day. Which is one of the reasons why I tend to prefer outcalls. Ladies will generally show up dressed casually for the sake of discretion.....the bonus is that it just so happens to be a huge turn on for me :D I find it helps build the fantasy of this being just a spontaneous, casual hook up rather than a SP/Client thing. Like this person is someone I just met at the grocery store or something and she invited herself back to my place for a fun, no strings attached, romp! Or if it's someone I've seen several times, it gives the impression of a friends with benefits kind of thing. Of course I always have the envelope with the donation handy, right by the door, but I find that the casual look just helps to build that fantasy a bit. Many guys may expect, because he's paying, that the lady take an extra effort to get all dolled up in fancy lingerie or whatever....but not me. I prefer the lady feel casual and comfortable.

There are so many hilarious Autocorrect errors, and I never know which ones have just been faked. Nonetheless, this is one of my favorites. (I hope it hasn't been posted already!)

Canada Day is the one day of the year we should take a step back and realize how blessed we are to live in such a great nation, warts and all. We aren't perfect and we stumble from time to time but we are a beacon of opporutnity and freedom to the rest of the world. Why else would people have left their homelands for centuries to become Canadian? So raise a glass and bless this country because no matter what your politics are or your economic standing, you're blessed to be Canadian. Happy Canada Day Cerb!

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This is really not for us to judge. Let's give these girls a break already. Sinister? Every single cerb member here, women and men alike, have cut a deal at some point in their lives for the sake of a client. SPs have to pay the bills like everyone else. Let's not assume a sinister element. If a jewellery store owner or a sports store owner decides to cut a deal for an item, should we assume his motives are altruistic? Perhaps the jewellery store owner has a drinking problem. It's really not for us to judge why someone is offering lower rates. If you feel comfortable taking a lower rate, go ahead. If not, hang up the phone. The onus is not on the SP to provide moral justification for her business practices. If you felt weird accepting a deal, that's on you. And it is not our place to judge why you accepted it in the first place. Your finances are none of our business. So are hers. If you have a problem with her business practice, why is HER reputation on the line? xoxo

I'd oblige with a smmmile :)

Hells yes, facials are hot

Thanks all, I couldn't have done it without you... really everytime I try to give myself rep points I am told I have to share the love so my options for self-gratification on this board are limited. ;)

I highly doubt anyone here would let a customer see the SP ONLY Area - if they did they are just risking every other ladies safety and the lady would loose her account if the other ladies ever found out who did this. Anyone who is paranoid about what the ladies write in the bad date logs probably has a REASON to be concerned. Probably someone the ladies will want to stay away from as well. Trying to convince people that the lists are not accurate is silly and trying to discredit such a list only makes the person doing the convincing look suspicious! It would come back to haunt the ladies if they started posting stuff that was not true. When someone posts something about a guy and other ladies have had positive experiences with the same guy they discuss it and the ladies make sure to mention that they had a good experience with the same person and defend him (This RARELY HAPPENS but has happened a few times over the years but usually when someone post something BAD the other ladies comment saying they too had the same problem and reinforce the listing to warn others to stay clear of him). The ladies know that if someone posted false info that the other ladies would jump in and voice an opinion (and probably raise a fuss as it would be easy to spot someone trying to post fake data). To this date I have not had anyone tell me that any of the ladies have posted bad info... the ladies look out for one another and they know that in order to protect each others safety they must check any differences they have at the door and work together to keep each other as safe as they can. If someone is on that list 99% of the time they did something to deserve it and 1% of the time maybe they had an off day (no show or something they could not avoid) and even then they should have called - even a trip to the washroom to send a quick sorry message (If they did not even attempt to cancel the date they do deserve the mention in the list) ... and the guys need to know that these lists exist and if they are not gentleman and respectful they will also be added to the lists to warn others.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but any sp on a review board is going to be able to connect your contact info with your handle the minute you post a review. I am assuming it was a bad review, or mentioned something specific that she objected to? On many boards, an sp member may have the ability to have potentially damaging reviews removed. It might be a bad review, or it might be information that should not be posted. But that is not really the point. Your review got removed and you got banned not based on your real identity being linked to your handle, but because (I assume) of the contents, tone or information within the review itself. Or perhaps on what happened afterwards. I can see by the post here that you do not accept the ban and the terms for which you were banned, and the removal of the review otherwise you would not be posting this here. Most blacklists areas for sps are all about safety, the only reason to be concerned about getting on one is if you have done something extremely dangerous, damaging or offensive. And if you did any of this, then why be surprised if you end up on one? I am also often offended by male members implied concerns that these areas are going to be misused by sps, and they will end up on it simply because the sps want to keep good clients for themselves. This is not a joke, it is about personal safety, health and wellbeing and a business for sps.

I read all the above and; Reference is not requested by all the ladies and in all provinces.I personally requested in city where bylaws is more active or in city where i know there is a lot of wasting time.I do give the option to someone for not providing phone Canada is way more tolerant when it come to this industry than in USA. Personally my requirement are way more high when i am in the USA as they are way more risks for me involve.I do ask for work informations+ reference yes i do check ID and take alternate option of verification service like Roomservice 2000 or date-check or preferred411.Strict yes..Never been indiscrete with the information that has been provide to me for screening as it is not worth to loose my name . People can decide whether or not they are willing to provide me what i ask...I don't force anyone the person should respect my choice of not seeing them.It is not because we are provider that we have to say yes to you.Yes we can be selective of the clientele we want.At the end ..You come to my place or i come to you..T It is not worth making an exception for 300/400/500$ to get arrested in the USA or here having problem with BYLAW or having "problem child". In the few years i have provide in Canada i have found that guys that aren't willing to provide anything are usually waste of time or do have an agenda, or not at their best behavior or in few case have been burned by an unprofessional provider. I am always available to provide reference to gents with 5 stars behavior as this is the least i can do for them as they have been nice to me.However i would let know a provider if that person have waste my time on numerous occasions. I think that if some guys really want to stay anonymous maybe they should visit MP or the providers that are in the street.One is an establishement and i am sure have ways to keep them safe.The other on street is usually not a choice and cannot afford to be selective(i am saying that without judgement). Like Emily have said i think that gents here should embrasse their country tolerance and the fact that most providers here request very few info Victoria Jolie

Most, if not all, are also wiling to accept other adult verifications systems, Date Check or what have you.

I don't understand- why not provide your CERB handle? Sometimes I get phone calls that just say a phone number and nothing, or else "hi, it's *bob*, call me". I don't even know if they're calling for me, there's no way I'm going to return that message. I'm also not going to provide my address to some random guy that calls my phone. I know, of course, there's risks involved for you men, but it doesn't even come close to the risks that we SPs face so I think a little give and take is only fair.

To me this goes without saying. References are and should be the norm! We (the guys) do our homework sort of speak. We research a ladies reviews, access her website, and gather as much information as we can about someone we wish to see. Why would the opposite be any different? Safety for all is paramount be it physical (violence, etc.) or sexual (use of condoms). Seeing a lady for the first time is just like a job interview be prepared with references in hand! You might be surprised if when you first contact her simply state in your email that "references are available upon request." This lets her know you are serious and not wasting time. It also may take some of the akwardness out of her having to ask for them.

Like any enterprise, people have the right to refuse to do business with anyone they don't want to. Due diligence and condoms are the new norm gents. :pimp: Welcome to the New Millennium! :D