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Once in a while you come to realize that so many of our members really don't "get" the whole hobby experience, or rather, they understand that there are rules but believe they are somehow exempt. So let's help them. Let's give some handy tips to make this a more wonderful experience for all. This is a pleasant place so let's keep it constructive... and be aware that the rules shouldn't just be for clients, you can also add some helpful tips that may help a new provider too! Here goes: 1. Appointment time is at 2:00 pm, what time do I arrive? Ummmmm. Hmmmmm. What part of 2:00 pm is ambiguous? A 2 o'clock appointment means you are at her door at 2. Not 1:55, not 2:10. It's seems petty but when you screw up her schedule, you may be screwing up MY schedule. I may be the appointment at 3. I have things to do... and my schedule may not be as loosey goosey as yours. I may be using a very small window of time or I may have "commitments" that see me arriving like clockwork elsewhere. Regardless, when the little hand is at 2 and the big hand is at 12, be where you are supposed to be. 2. "I am awesomely wicked good in bed, and I often masturbate to pictures of myself nude, because I am that good looking. Can we negotiate a better rate?" In a word, No. Would you go to a restaurant and say, "I am a really good eater, can I get a better price on that steak?" Would you go to a lawyer and say, "I am an awesome criminal, can you represent me for free?" Would you go to the dentist and say, "My teeth are so bad that you should fix them all for $50!" A service provider gets paid at a set rate because she is a professional. She is good... no, not just good... wickedly awesome good, at what she does. Your part is the compensation, her part is the wicked awesome part. Pay the pretty lady and be happy. 3. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ever step into an elevator and stand next to someone who smells like they have never met a bar of soap they liked? Ever met someone that looked like they were an extra in the Walking Dead? Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone and wondered if they ate something dead? Step one. Go to the potty. Do your business. Wipe. Wipe again. Wipe again. and then, wipe again. Do the optical test. Last wipe. Is there any residue? If yes, start over. If no, then proceed to step two. Step Two. Shower. Clean EVERYWHERE. Rinse. Repeat. Did you pay attention to anywhere in particular??? Hmmm??? Go back to those places. Make em sparkle. (at this point I do suggest that artificial glitter is NOT necessary.) Get out of the shower. Towel dry (for pete's sake use a clean towel!)... apply a generous amount of deodorant/anti-perspirant. Brush your teeth. (if additional grooming is required, please do that too.) Step three. Clothing. Go to the place where you keep your clean clothes. No. Not the place where you put the stuff that you THINK you can wear again. The CLEAN clothes. You know that stuff that you just took from the dryer and folded nicely?? That's the stuff. Wear that shit. Uh oh... what if I have to do step one again?? Then repeat ALL the steps. Cuz skidmarks are not sexy. Febreeze showers are not acceptable. 4. I have to cancel, what do I do? Give your head a smack. With a hammer. Stop. Now take a pointy thing and stick it with great force into your upper thigh, avoiding the artery. Now, go to your car. Start it. Open the door, put your foot beneath a tire and have someone put that car in reverse. Cancellations? NOT COOL. We all know that shit happens. A death in the family. A sick kid. Decapitation with farm machinery. Thermonuclear war. Explosion of your planet from a death star ray. That shit is acceptable.... but you still owe the pretty lady an explanation AND a cancellation fee. When you cancel, providers don't eat. When providers don't eat they get distended bellies and look like kids from the CARE commercials. When you cancel, providers give not only you, but also your city, a bad reputation. This makes you masturbate more. Because you will never get laid again. Ever. You will over develop muscles in only one arm. Your clothes will fit poorly. People will figure it out and suspect you are the notorious masturbating king of cancellations. They will hunt you down and kill your family. Let's keep little Bobby and Joanie safe. If you make an appointment, keep that appointment. Your family will love you for it. 5. "I'm a little short on cash. Do you think she will notice if the envelope is a bit short?" In a word, yes. She will also point out that your penis is a bit short.... and that your skill level is a bit short... and that you cry like a bitch when you have your pathetic little man-gasm. Do you want that??? Do YOU WANT THAT, bitch??? Wow. That was a bit over-emphatic. Gonna step away from the computer and take a valium. BACK!!!! Where were we... yes. Shorting your provider. Not COOL. Remember, providers have special powers. They communicate telepathically. As soon as you walk out that door, she will know and so will all of her allies in the super friends. They will combine their superpowers and make sure that you never get wood again.... and if you do, it will be at inappropriate times... like at funerals or family gatherings or when talking to your grandfather or something like that. Seriously?? Give your head a shake. If you are short then GET the money and make sure you have it set aside BEFORE you book. You will have a wickedly awesome good time... just pay the pretty lady what you agreed to and enjoy! 6. Can I pay her in drugs? Hmmmm. Does your banker take drugs in lieu of money? Have you offered Rogers drugs in return for their cable/home phone/cell phone/internet bundle? When you get groceries at Loblaws, do they have a special drawer that says "financial equivalent in drugs?" You know the answer. "No, you addled-pated simpleton." Remember the distended belly part from above? Providers take cash because cash buys groceries, pays bills and looks pretty. Carrying cash will not get you arrested. Using cash is the engine that runs our capitalist society. "All you need is cash, cash is all you need." The Beatles sang that, I think. Your turn....

I really hope to change your mind So please listen to my plea Rumour has it SPs from my city Offer full service BB Which means they use no condom When letting clients 'in' You all know in this business That's a major mortal sin We must keep one another safe It's the only thing we've got So by accepting this behaviour You're worse off than I thought No amount of cash you've got Will convince me to sex bare If you ever try and do it I'll crush your balls I swear Paid sex can't be unprotected Your dick could get infected So for those of us who don't And no matter what we won't Are the ones you need to see To remain STD free

When I first became an active member on Cerb about 2 1/2 years ago there was a young lady who immediately caught my eye. I loved her fun and intelligent personality, humor and wit, friendly nature.... and she is HOT ! She took a hiatus :( but she came back :D Over the last few months I have really got to know this remarkable woman. I really came to love what I saw both inside and out. She's was a goddess in my eyes and I hadn't met her yet. The recent few weeks we had been discussing options and possible locations to meet and fortunately I was able to route myself through Ottawa after a visit to Toronto. I had the extreme pleasure of spending a considerable amount of time with her and any and all expectations of meeting this lady were exceeded big time !!! Goddess is pretty much an understatement. Cleo Catra The awesome fun and happy smile you see constantly ! The come and get me smile ..... What smile ? Who said anything about a smile ? That's just a hot freaking candid pic ;)

17. The chance encounter You sir, need new socks. Yes you do. The old socks in your drawer were purchased when Gilligan's Island was a new show on TV. Well, Mr. Frugal, you shall treat yourself to a shopping spree... indeed. Sox-a-palooza. You shall purchase 4 new pairs of socks. You might even get daring and buy a pair that is adorned with argyle... maybe even a stripe. You are a sock buying machine. Where to go. Aha! The mall. And that's where it happens. You see her. Alotta Fagina. The woman that rocked your socks off just last week. OHHHH MY GOD. That's Alotta Fagina. But wait. Alotta Fagina is not alone. Could that be... hmmmmm.... it looks like her... yes.... it has to be.... Mama Fagina, Alotta's mom. And that other woman... also seems to look like Alotta... Good Gods... it's Younger Fagina. You see three Faginas approaching you. What do you do???? The answer my friend is... nothing. In this hobby we have all seen Alotta Fagina. We know that sometimes Faginas need a break. You need to understand that the woman you see in that mall is NOT Ms Fagina now... and unless you know each other in some plausible other way (like being a neighbour, a high school friend, her dentist or first cousin <awkward!!!!>), you will not approach. You probably will give her a bit of a lecherous stare, because you still have testicles... but that is where it has to stop. You'd want her to leave you alone when you are with your non-hobby people; respect that she wants the same as you. Go to the food court, order a bacon sandwich and plan the rest of your sock adventure! 18. I am feeling a little under the weather, but I have a stiffy. Good for you! Now go to the interwebs. Get the provider's number. Call her. Tell her that you are a sick little monkey. Tell her that you can't make your appointment but would love to rebook. Send her an email money transfer with a cancellation fee. Go to the bathroom. Get the box of Kleenex, the bottle of Jergens lotion, and a Dristan. Go back to your computer. Find a website with naked people having sex. Apply Jergens. Wait... wait... wait... grab the kleenex. Now take the Dristan and go have a nap. If you are sick, don't book an appointment. If you have already booked an appointment, reschedule when you don't have the plague. Do not jeopardize the provider's health by showing up sick. When you have an appointment and you are sick, you make the provider sick. When you make the provider sick, she might not be showing symptoms and she might make me sick... and that would be bad for the world. You see I am a very important guy. How important??? You know that Tsunami in Japan a year or so ago??? That was me. Some Japanese guy sold me a faulty Sony TV. If you get me sick... I will make sure that you get penis cooties. You have been warned. 19. The Secret Weapon Gentlemen, we all have a secret weapon. If you are ever unsure about who is scamming, who is photo swapping, who is dangerous and who is to be absolutely avoided, there is only one person to turn to... CERB's own Cowboy Kenny. CK is a genius... and he works for all of us.... all of us except for the forces of evil. CK exposes those who would try to exploit our weakness for the female form and at the same time he protects the fantastic women that do a wickedly awesome job keeping us happy. CK is a superhero. Here's his site: http://www.cowboysdiary.info/wordpress/ ... more to come

I myself, am horny during all four seasons :boobies: However I do agree that some men do get a touch hornier with the spring season, because my business has greatly increased this month. :)

20. Hey Alotta, can we book a 4:20 appointment, get it...420??? Dude. You need pizza. You need nachos. You need a pizza with nachos and KFC. You also need to rethink your priorities. You can't show up to an appointment high or piss drunk. No. You. Can't. That is a no no. People sometimes do silly things when they are under the influence of alcohol and drugs. I, in fact, proposed marriage to a horrible person when I was in such a state. When I recovered, she was Mrs Dog. There is absolutely no irony in that statement - she was a total bitch. You see, just because you like to partake in a herbal vacation on a daily basis, don't assume that your provider does. If you consume liquor in lieu of say... food, you must also make that assumption that your provider might actually eat rather than just drink. You MIGHT think that drugs and alcohol make you sexy. Ummmmm. No. That's a pee stain on the front of your pants. Not. So. Sexy. Bottom line? Drugs and alcohol make people do stupid things. You can do this your friends. You can do this with your family. You can NOT do this with your provider. NEVER show up drunk or stoned. Stupid things could mean dangerous things. Dangerous things are bad. She is already placing herself in a somewhat vulnerable situation, she certainly doesn't need the addition of a chemical additive to make it worse. The other thing, you might actually REMEMBER how wickedly awesome your experience was!!!! 21. Why doesn't she respond? I need to couple with her now!!! Men, as a collective gender, do not take direction well. I admit it. My penis admits it. We like to forge new paths, be trailblazers, and we hate to read stuff. We especially hate to read stuff. Reading stuff is for girls. Girls know that. That's why they force us to read. To humiliate us. To make us appear more stupid than we... wait, we are pretty stupid. Let's face it. Men do things because we think we already know how to do things. Providers are girls. This is their chance to torment us. It's okay though. They will touch our wieners. That makes us happy. We just have to follow instructions.... arrrRRRRRrrrggggh. I hate reading instructions. I love when she touches my wiener. Mental battle..... dammit. Must resist. Nope. Wiener wins.... ALL THE TIME. Okay. Read the instructions. WTF? No PMs??? I have been sitting here with a blue pill induced RAGING erection for 3 hours and she doesn't want me to PM? Oh my god. No wonder I can never see Alotta Fagina. She doesn't take PMs. What else won't she accept? No emails??? No blocked calls, no private numbers??? Guys... when it comes to the hobby, we have to obey the rules. To obey the rules, we actually have to READ the RULES. If we could make our penisisisiesisisis read the rules that would be better, but the one eyed python of love is blind. Big head has to obey. She has preferred methods of contact. Read em. Understand em. Use em. Your wiener will thank you. 22. I suspect you may clone me. May I have my used condom? Dude. Seriously? Do you have like a used condom hall of fame? Guys, no one wants to store your jizz. Alotta Fagina does not have secret contacts with a mad scientist who pays her for your splooge. There is no secret conspiracy to place your spunk at the scene of a major crime. Conspiracy theories are fun... now run back to your basement and get the foil helmet on lickety-split!!! ohhhh.... there's more.

7. I am cleaning. Can we have BBFS sex? Dear M. Delirious, As a fertile woman, still in her sexual prime, I would be delighted to collect, ahead of time, 18 years of child support, and of course, a generous college and university trust fund for our child. Also, please consider the following as part of our contract: marriage, full salary from you when I am on maternity leave, upscale housing and 25 years of above average spousal support for a stay at home mom who enjoys the finer things in life, plus my regular hourly compensation for every time you would like to be intimate with me. If you would like to discuss our future, long-term arrangement, please contact my lawyer for an appointment. If the above is not a suitable option for you, perhaps the following will be: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom Still not interested? Learn about what your potential new friends can bring to your life! AIDS: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV/AIDS STDs: http://www.cdc.gov/std/ And here is where you can play Russian Roulette: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=list+of+casinos+in+canada Most sincere and warmest regards, Gabriella xox ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The short answer to the question is... are you fxxxing crazy?!! ;) Happy hobbying!

I got news for you sweety..., you dont know what you are missing by spending all the time in you back... the teasing that you can experience by being on your stomach and just letting the lady caress you and touch you in the right way and in the right places.... make you imagination run wild as to what come next...., since you can not see her all you experience is her gentle touch.... arousing you until you cant hold it anymore and then when you turn around..... just let it all come out....

It doesn't happen in the real world, an Old Dog expressing appreciation for a Cat... but frankly we aren't who we say we are and she is one of the most AMAZING women I know. Cat is, without a doubt, the epitome of sensuality. When she speaks, you melt... but not all over. She is brilliant... she knows exactly what to say and when to say it. She has mastered double entendre... she chooses her words to say what she wants and more; she understands that everything can be interpreted in so many ways and ensures that her meaning is taken. She is as sweet as sugar pie, as cool as a cucumber and as sharp as a tack.... but best of all she is one of my dearest friends. I can`t express the feelings that I have for her - she just makes me thankful that she has included me as part of her world. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=4978

So, it's time to resurrect this thread. And who better to kick it off again with than someone who has also not been around here that much of late, but who was very much missed while she was away and has recently returned? I refer, of course to the incomparable Samantha Evans. I've never had the privilege of meeting her (it's a long way to Vancouver), but I'm sure I'm not the only one who benefits enormously from her insights into whatever we may be discussing at the time, or appreciates the eloquence with which she delivers them. It's good to have you back, Samantha!

After browsing cerb for a few months, I have obviously found many ladies I have put on my "to do" list. Just wondering if anyone else is having a hard time making a condensed list? So many options, so many gorgeous ladies, it is a tough job for sure! As it stands right now.....Emily J, Katrine and Jessica are high on my list of things "to do"

Amazing Aniah Wanted to keep the secret to myself in finally finding the ultimate pleasure with an erotic MP. I suppose it is not fair to withold info and have decided to share with fellow Cerbites. This lady's amazing skills is not learned, she is passionate about stimulating and arousing you ! She only visits Paradise Spa three times a week .... amazing sensuality ! Have never experienced an erotic massage of this calibre..... she obviously enjoys turning you on while providing an "uber" sensous massage. By the way, she has a hidden talent, massaging part of your body that you will thoroughly enjoy and become addicted. It is a specialty that few MPs offer !! :shehot:

Something just occurred to me while I was thinking about what to make for dinner. I love bacon sandwiches, I love making bacon sandwiches and do so with great care. I like eating them even more, naked spreading crumbs all over the sheets and licking the mayo off my fingers. Like Old Dog, I like the traditional wich with lettuce and tomato on lightly toasted bread with butter and Dukes mayonnaise. Sometimes I add cheese or a little sliced avacado when I am feeling a naughty and I gladly serve them when requested as all good providers do. Just remember for the guys that ask for a bacon sandwich after a play session, if your provider is capable of getting up and making it for you; you probably haven't earned it... cat

I guess I was still sleepy when I put my machine on and I noticed water was staying in the filter and the one going down was leaking so I stop machine, check what was wrong and why not I forgot to put the lid on :icon_neutral: so I had to clean the mess before enjoying coffee.

For many years my wife wouldn't let me go down on her and for someone who loves DATY, it was a bit of a problem from my perspective. There were many excuses but recently came out that she just doesn't like her vagina. She thought it was 'ugly' and 'weird looking' and it made her feel self conscious to have someone down there. Nothing could be further from the truth and you know what turned out to be the solution? We started watching some porn together. I think she hadn't seen a lot of vaginas before and it's fun to hear her say things like, "Ooh..that ones got an interesting haircut" or "Look, her lips are big like mine." There's been a lot of negative talk about media but as a counterpoint, seeing a variety of women with different and unique bodies has helped her realize that she's not that different and there's nothing wrong with her. Things are looking up for me! :-D On an unrelated side note, if anyone has any good tips for 'couple friendly' porn, perhaps they could PM me? It's not always easy to find stuff that won't make a somewhat naive wife go, "Ewww...gross". ;-) Gotta work up to that stuff.

Awesome thread OD ! A hilarious spin on the common sense ! Kudos It can happen however ;) Shhh Shhhh www.zipit.com

Cold pizza and instant coffee while driving to office. The result of sleeping in and almost being late for work ......

Old Dog this should be published!!n LOL...you have me on the ground rolling in laughter!!

A bit late, but a happy Birthday Berlin!

Ok, so far I'm the last to wish you a belated happy birthday, Berlin. I hope it was special! FR

Happy Belated Birthday. Hope you enjoyed!

I cannot lie, all I've eaten today is cake. Sweet, sweet birthday cake.

There are a number of youtube videos to help with these hidden settings. The one at applies to a galaxy note II, but should apply to Android-based Samsung phones in general. Otherwise, searching for "Samsung Galaxy Note disable predictive" should get you some decent instructions.

Not sure what you are using RG, but I know with my current iPhone i can shut this off in the settings. My old phone which was a Blackberry torch, this was an option as well in the settings. Note: Blackberry was last operating system, not sure if new OS has this option still. Cheers MB

Happy birthday Berlin :) I hope it is/was a lovely day for you! Xo

Hope you had yourself some nice birthday waka waka !

Not sure about yours, but I can switch from T9 to multi-tap. Or......you could make a phone call. LOL..you remind me of me, bud!

Old Dog...you are awesome...it has been an absolute pleasure to have found you...and this thread xoxo

Happy belated birthday to a wonderful lady!!!

I'm really enjoying how this season is turning out game-wise. The Shield and Quattro are two very good alliances that I think will go a very long way into the later stages of the competition. I particularly liked how Alec planted the seed in Emmett's mind of eventually cutting Tom loose for his aggressive and hot-headed behaviour. Clearly, the Shield is laying the foundation for power moves further on down the line. One criticism I will make of them is that Peter and Alec are revealing too much about how close they are to each other. I would have suggested that they each fawn upon either Tom or Emmett, suggesting that they make a fake Final Three deal to conceal their true intentions. Getting rid of the non-aligned floaters right now would be my other suggestion. Either get them on side or throw them overboard. It's too early to make any big moves (like taking out Andrew, Jillian or Liza) but taking care of Suzette, Talla, AJ or Aneal at this time would certainly be a wise use of votes. I loved the quotes task that Peter was assigned. It is a great addition to the show and is entertaining to watch. I'm kinda sick of seeing showmances and bromances get air time and I'm glad the production team have included some kind of diversion that makes for good viewing.

I switched from Rogers to Bell Fibe TV. I can not get over the difference in sound and picture quality. It is fantastic. Part of my package includes Playboy TV.

I'm a bit late but I hope you had a wonderful day and will have a fabulous year.

Wednesday Crystal 10-4 aka "Crystal" Summer 10-4 aka "SUMMER LOVE" Nicky 10-11 aka "Nicky in Paradise" Hannah 3:30-11 aka "Hannahxo" Taylor 3:30-11 Welcome Back aka "Taylor_xo" www.angelstouchmassage.ca NEW WEBSITE with PICS & Schedule :smile: 3 rooms, 3 sexy ladies on per shift! Private Dance shows available upon request! Click here to see NEW pics of room: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=3340 New Sexy Pics of our Hotties http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=52117 Full Body Relaxation Massage Single Massage: --------30 minutes $50. --------45 minutes $60. --------60 minutes $80. Couples Massage: 1 Attendant --------30 minute $60. --------45 minute $70. --------60 minute $90. Duo/Couples Massage:2 Attendants --------30 minute regular $100. on special for $80. --------45 minute regular $120. on special for $100. --------60 minute regular $160. on special for $130. ------HST included in prices. Longer Sessions available and @ Discretion of MA ------ Tips Accepted------ ATM on site------Spacious Rooms with Private Showers------ NEW LOCATION: 65 Bentley 613-274-7073 Crystal Recommendation http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=82862 Summers Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=S&t=45598 Summer Crystal Taylor Hannah Nicky & Jamie (left to right)

I've had the pleasure of arranging a couple of very rewarding mmf sessions with local providers, and its not as uncommon as you might think. Here are my recommended steps to consider... First, select a likely candidate and see her a couple of times one-on-one. If you establish good chemistry with her, it's much easier to approach her with the proposal to see yourself and a buddy together in a session. Plus, you've established that she's greek-friendly and have a concept of what her limits might be. Then, assuming she's pretty open-minded about such activity, all you need to do is approach her with the proposal. In fact, the first provider that I approached in this way willingly agreed, and our session was awesome. In addition, she also provided me with an intro to another sp that was interested in a similar arrangement. In time, a subsequent mmf ensued with the other provider, which turned out to be equally enjoyable! If you think this is a lot of effort on your part, yes, it might be. Good things don't come easy. But put yourself in a provider's mind-space.. An unknown client, who you've never seen before, calls you and asks that you host himself and another equally unknown quantity at your incall. Your safety is paramount, and you are putting yourself into a situation where you are going to entertain two possibly much larger individuals. Hmmmm.. Just some suggestions for your consideration.. Happy Pooning!!

OD, what were you thinking? Come on! :sadomaso: You forgot to include in your number 10 that NO lady wants to see a picture of their male junk :obs55:, big or small, shaved or not, in their introduction email ;)

Guys, I don't want to come off preachy or holier than thow but it seems lately a common concern that's been expressed to me from a number of Providers, is guys asking for deals or reduced rates, from a ladies posted rate. First off, it's not likely to endear her to your cause, because well it's pretty much an insult, in most cases I'm sure it's not meant as one, but think about it. You want to see a provider based on what you've seen and heard so clearly she appeals to you and you've gone to the trouble of checking out her website or profile and know what she's all about, but you want her to charge you less. How would you feel if your boss came up to you and said you're doing a great job, everyone around the office thinks you're great and we really appreciate the effort you put forward, but we can't pay you for tomorrow... would you mind coming in early though ? Pretty insulting, isn't it ? It's been said time and time again,this hobby is a choice and most certainly a luxury, if you want to see a lady who's beyond your normal price range that you can afford, then plan for it, save up, set a budget. If you really want to meet her and spend time with her, that's the best way to do it. We're actually pretty lucky here, there's a wide variety of providers who range in various affordable price ranges, while some may have a tributes higher than the norm there is usually a reason and they wouldn't be charging anything beyond what the market can bear. I'm not going to make the comparison to cars, wines or other luxury items, because it would be like comparing apples to oranges. The services these ladies provide are incomparable. If you do save up and see to a lady who is in a price range higher than you're used to paying, don't be shy to share with her in your correspondence that you've been saving up and looking forward to the encounter, that is more likely to endear her to you much more than asking for a discount and hey who knows, it might even earn you some brownie points ;) knowing that you saved up for the opportunity to meet.

While I do spend a good amount of time on my own, I am actually okay with it because although I am alone physically speaking, I know it's not true otherwise. I believe depending on the circumstances and emotion we feel at the moment, it is possible to feel very alone. I have been there myself. Here's a cyber hug for those who feel lonely.

Spring definitely start to trigger horniness. I would like to take a moment and talk about a serious medical condition which can cause serious injury and in rate cases death. This medical problem is called HWHS (horny when hot syndrome) some of you may be laughing right know but it is serious as the body temperature rise the layer ad clothes seem to disappearing which has a serious impact on those who suffer from HWHS. The following scenarios are not fictional and a real people. So please do not try this at home they were all trained professional dumb ass's. luckily in the following scenarios no one got seriously hurt, well maybe their pride. So things to avoid. Rules 1 when waking keep you're eyes in front and not veered to the side to check out the woman in short skirts. Consequences may vary but for this instance it was a light that he walked into cause severe laughter and humiliation. 2 do not pass gas in an elevator? When all off a sudden elevator stop and the secretary we would fantasize about walk in with a few extra button undone. 3 when playing football keep your eyes of the giggling cheerleaders. Cause that 275 pound guy you forgot will blow any chances of getting lucky for the foreseeable weeks to come as you recuperate from concussion. 4 when doing any sort of martial art stay focus ignore the women who can bend in ways you can only dream of cause you will not seen that kick in the ribs you just received. Construction workers are particularly at risk for these 5 when hammering keep eyes on you object you are hitting cause hit a thumb hurts like hell when staring at the girl not wearing a bra. This goes for when using a sledge hammer especially if someone else is holding the object. 6 this one is critical do not attempt to work near a college gym class full off hot sweating woman doing yoga. Cause that window that you didn't install before lunch. You can lean on an empty frame and fall through look like a dumbass. 6.1 this is similar do not try and lift a window when partner is staring at bouncing boobs you may pull you're back. 7 my favourite almost fell off roof laughing to hard. while on a swing stage do not assume the windows are tinted and that woman in her office in actual fact she can see you pissing in a bucket. 8 yoga pants are a deadly on while staring to long at the derrière of them to long ma cause fantasies and when that person turn around you realize you're related to that person or worse it could be your mother. 9 this is a classic do not lean or you're chair to find out what colour of panty she's wearing under that skirt cause when you fall of your chair everyone know what you were doing. 10 when warring tight jean be sure your zipper is up cause someone else is happy to stare. I've witnessed all of these and ashamed to have falling victim of maybe one or two. Ok that last on maybe from a tv commercial but it can happen. My point is this is all due to HWHS and serious injury can occur. I think we have a duty to fix this and my solution is all woman should dress hotter this way we are a custom to see this and we build an immunity to HWHS. Ok maybe I didn't think with the right head on that one but we may have an epidemic on our hands.

Not getting to meet a certain famous hobbiest. Boo Hooo

Have to say most of the guys that I have had that unfortunate situation of either wanting a discount or see me today pay you next time (lol) is been through other sites where I advertise... But as we have amazing and lovely gentlemen in CERB, every rule has its exceptions... Most providers here I belive somehow always give back somehow, myslef from time to time offer discounted rates not only for frequet visitors but to everyone...to perhaps give a chance for those that may not be able to afford or for those who may think is too expensive, I give the chance for them to come try out and find out what they are paying for.. And show that is all worth.... :) funny story, very little comes from running those special rates, those who have already met me do not care and most of the time even if I happen to give a discount... They give the complete donation... So like in everything there is only a bad few apples, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that! I am very grateful for the gentlemen I have encounter and to be part of a community like CERB!

bcguy you took the words out of my mouth! There's a 50/50 chance she's got the same body type as the stolen pics, but the fact that she uses fake pics with no issue makes you question ( I would) what other deceptive and not so professional practices is she up to or capable of. There's other red flags that where mentioned earlier that sound the alarms to just stay away. Clearly she and her "manager" aren't interested in repeat business or providing the client with the promised services or quality. So why would anyone bother to waster their time and money when there are honest and professional providers more than willing to provide drama free experiences. Even in Winnipeg. Additional Comments: So this get's even funnier, sexybree opens herself up another account here (that's a no no as well) and sends me these two wonderful pieces of prose : hmm ya ok theres actually two girls one is me bree petite 19 n presley which is 24 booty so think again cow boy come c u for ur self if u think we so fake like cmon on straighten out with ur lame comments about me ur making me popular by writing ur lame stories thinkin im fake this n that like u think guys really care now n days pusdy is pussy welcome to winnipeg hunny boring mr cowboy u seriously need to get a life lol its so funny im independent with presley I swear I did not edit this at all, brilliant isn't it ? So I did dig a little further and there are some photos of a different girl on some of the presely ads, of course those photos are easily 3 years old and stolen as well! http://allhiphopmodels.com/jenny-tusabe/ http://t62ice.tumblr.com/ http://www.stewpig.com/babes/sexy/sizzling-sweeties-daily-dose-60-pics-10/2012/07/28/attachment/sizzlingsweeties27-11/ http://blog.livedoor.jp/heroaid-sumaho/archives/cat_145881.html http://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/1359010/big_ass_girl_booty_big_butt_spandex_lycra_leather_leggings.html to bree, presely and their manager, guys do care about being ripped off and being deceived, but cleary you have no care or interest in what you get so long as you get cash and rush the guys out the door. You may be new to this but I'm not, there's no reason to use fake photos there's no reason to operate in a shady manner unless of course you're a shaddy character, which means more than likely you're up to no good. I'm sorry you don't understand why what you're doing is wrong but you do need to know that you are in fact the one who needs to get a life , shape up or ship out. If you show no respect for your client base by posting fake and dishonest and clearly misleading photos, then why should they respect you ? Keep it up, I love a good debate, you've just made this one even better, although I must admit it seems a little unbalanced kind of like bringing a pistol to a knife fight but I'll try to cut you some slack. :)

To be clear, I don't have a dog in this fight in that I'm not in Winnipeg. But I found the query here to be odd. Why would anyone TOFTT in this case. If I understand the situation, the person in question has shown a persistent dishonest streak with regards to her photos. Why would anyone want to reward this behaviour by giving her money? IMHO, if you really want to address the issue of being the B & S capital of Canada, stop encouraging them by giving them business. Business people - male and female - will only do what successfully brings in clients. If B & S works, they're going to do it. If B & S does not work, they will find a new business model that does work. So in this instance, TOFTT actually is a disservice for "The Team". Just my 2 cents - which rounds down to nothing.

It's been awhile since this thread has had a post, so I'll take this opportunity to honour another CERB Goddess of the Day And that is CristyCurves She writes intelligent posts that contribute to this board and community. She is also passionate about causes, such as treating animals humanely....I enjoy reading what she writes And she is beautiful too. One lady who, should I ever make my way down east I would like to meet Unfortunately I'm on a smartphone or I'd post a link to her profile and post a photo too RG

She was there today!

Having spent a year living in St. John's I was very blessed to see some amazing ladies ... both local, and also the wonderful women that toured St. John's. Since moving back to southern Ontario, I've found that I've been a bit away from the tour route that many of my favorites tend to follow. I must say I've been missing them a great deal. The first lady I saw in St. John's, and who really "reintroduced" me to the hobby, was Emily Rushton. This is a woman who epitomizes the term goddess. She is stunningly beautiful and a genuinely wonderful person. Bright, smart, engaging, and, of course, oh so sensual. The image of Emily, waiting for me on the bed dressed in lingerie that deserves a place in the sensual lingerie thread, is something impressed on my memory forever. Emily has been mentioned many times in this thread, which to my mind, just confirms her status as a wonderful CERB goddess. She has many gorgeous pictures in her albums. But this one I find particularly beautiful.

A lot has to do with supply and demand as well. If no one is paying the price she is asking... the prices will go down and if she is getting overwhelmed with calls the prices will go up (just like any business). Unless of course she wants the high volume of calls. The type of guy she wants to attract as well... no one wants the guy who takes back his empty bottles and raids the couch for loose change to get laid. EWE! The ladies want generous gentlemen (Men with deep pockets are very hot to many ladies... us guys often stare at the ladies breasts where many ladies just want to know what kind of plastic you have in your wallet). - I am probably going to get a slap from that comment (and I know very well not all ladies are like that so please don't hang me for that comment - but we all know many women are attracted to money and not physical attributes) The local economy also makes a huge difference. If you live in a area where very few people are wealthy the rates are not going to be as high if the ladies want to work in your area... usually what happens is the ladies leave that area and go to bigger cities. In cities like Montreal where they have a LOT more ladies in the business the prices drop as well (They often have price wars as the area may have too much competition) so you have ladies who could easily charge 300+ per hour in other cities working for 100-/hr at times when competition gets tough. Not many ladies can work on high volumes of calls in this business for long periods of time and be happy.... and lower rates often means higher volume or too high level of competition as I mentioned above. In a market like Ottawa someone charging 100.00 may do 6 calls a day (or more) and probably have to turn down calls as the phone will be ringing non-stop so they can easily reach that goal but that is a lot of work so the lady would be soar, tired and just burnt out after a few days of that .... someone charging 300.00 per hour and only doing 2 or 3 calls a day makes the same (if not more) money. Those ladies have less calls to deal with and are generally a lot less stress. This would improve the quality of the experience a great deal as well in most cases. Many guys think the ladies should charge less... but that only benefits the guys!! Some guys will complain about the ladies rates being too high but if she is doing lots of calls at those rates and meeting her goals she DOES NOT need a guy like that. Lowering her rates and doing more volume may look like a smart way to do business but in this business it just leads to bad service, tired providers and a very unhappy lady who is burnt out... then those same guys will post nasty crap about her saying her service was poor. We always say if the rate is too high for you either save up or find someone else (don't be ignorant and complain about it be a gentleman and move on to someone in your price range). The lady charging 300.00/hr will say "I need to do two calls a day on average to meet my goals" and if she does not get enough calls to keep her busy enough to maintain this income level the donation amount will go down and the number of calls she takes per day will go up until she reaches her goal or she sets new goals. I can't afford a Ferrari so I don't drive one, I dream about driving one but I don't get mad and complain to Ferrari and tell them they need to lower the prices of the car so that the average person can buy one too. Maybe one day I will save up and buy one.... but right now I drive a Ford as my daily driver. It's nice, it's reliable, it's comfy and I like it... it's not a Ferrari but I am not complaining.