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I just picked up a leftover chicken skewer from dinner, and as I'm alone, I pulled the chicken off with my fingers. Finding my fingers then greasy, I wiped them on my skirt. Yup, I wiped my greasy fingers on my clothing. I have eaten the berries out of the bottom of a jam jar for dinner when it was all I had to eat in the house. I will also regularly eat popcorn for dinner, and when I get to the bottom, I wipe up the extra butter/salt with pieces of popcorn. Yup, keeping is classy... that's me ;) Any 'non-classy' habits you have in secret that you'd like to share? I'm sure I'm not the only one :)

Online writings and pictures gives us a glimpse of a persons personality but certainly doesn't give us the right to say we know them. To know anyone you'd have to meet them, talk to them personally, hear their voice, see their facial expressions, body movements, how they live, dress, treat the public, contribute to society, spend time with them. Getting to know anyone is a journey and doesn't happen overnight. Here is a site that I find interesting posts on how to know and understand people:) You might like it too. http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201302/how-read-people

The only thing you can know about a person, whether through a board/email or in person is what that person feels safe and comfortable revealing about him/herself. Whether what they reveal about themselves makes you know them is in large based on trust. If they reveal little about themselves doesn't necessarily make them untrustworthy, it just means they don't feel safe enough or are open enough to share. But the person they are with may not be open or willing to share But in a board like this, with few exceptions (ladies I have seen ;-) ) we are all really anonymous board handles. And some can be really "brave" behind a computer screen, yet in person a sniveling wimp. (I know a manager at work, bravely barks orders through emails, but in person, cowers down when challenged) A rambling for whatever it's worth RG

I have/had this arrangement with some regular in the past. It give me x amount at one shot, then receive a discount/or longer time when they see me. I only do so to people that see me on a regular base in Toronto (or was in Ottawa) and not when I tour different cities...especially since I don't tour constantly. Nor do I except said regular to see me x times a month for that amount because I am student and I tour. I cannot guarantee that at least one wednesday a month I will be in town (for example if that's their day) But...as a client bringing a retainer idea in the mix may be a bit tricky. I was always the one who brought it first since it was more convinent for me. For now you could be enjoying Jane Doe at 300/hr but how is it in 6 months? She could be "expecting" your 1500$ a month (no idea who she is, how much her rates his and etc) but as an SP when you realize that you are relying on a fix incoming for someone...can be hard. You can stop tomorrow. or in 3 years. Just my random 2 cents( which is now worth...zero derp)

Funerals are for the benefit of the survivors. Attending a funeral does not mean that approved of the deceased's actions. Making a point of NOT going doesn't send any message to the dead person. You go to support your other family members.

I love that you thought of your mom. But there are no rules to how we should respond to our feelings, or there shouldn't be. If you felt like sending this lovely sounding woman you recently met flowers, then you should have. I think it's a beautiful thing to be expressive in what ever way you see fit and are comfortable with. How the receiver responds is on them. Good intentions shouldn't be questioned, imo. Happy Valentines day

this is exactly what I was thinking as I read through this thread.....forgiving is about letting go of your anger and hurt....it is not about giving peace to someone else....that is their responsibility.... Forgiveness doesn't mean that life goes back to where it was....it doesn't mean you ever allow that person to be in the position to hurt you again...it just means you let go....

I feel that screening of both clients AND providers will become much more important. No more of taking chances with new providers that no one has seen. Those providers that have a verified presence will continue to do well. However, those new ones just starting out and have no presence will have difficulties. Just my thought.

You two need to get a room! :thedeed:

When guests are here... We drink out of gold trimmed crystal but when I'm alone I use mason jars and straws liberated in bulk from Harveys. I wear silk and Jimmy Choos to entertain but when I'm alone I live in a oversized red onesie with a trap door and moccasins I entertain with amazing cheeses and exotic fruits displayed like magazine food with linen napkins but when I'm alone I live on egg salad and bacon out of a tupperware container. In the winter, I only shower when I have a playdate. The rest of the time, a sink bath suffices otherwise my skin would dry out and fall off. When I walk out the door as Catherine St.Claire I channel Catherine Deneuve or Jackie Onassis. When I walk my dog, I wear long johns, camo and wellies or a vintage crazy homeless lady 1960's fake fur coat and hat with Hush Puppy boots topped with my reading glasses so I can read my bb while waiting for him to finish. I serve gourmet coffee with cream to guests, make instant with protein powder when I'm alone. Basically when I'm alone, I look like my housekeeper and live like the simple, wrong side of the tracks girl that I was born. I don't apologize when someone catches me being less than my classy self because I actually think I make mason jars and camo look good! cat

I drink OJ right out of the jug I lick cookie batter with a passion and enthusiast that is..yeah...shameful. I go RIGHT DOWN there in the mixer. I eat broccoli with fingers. Full spoon of peanut butter is the best thing I sometime toss clean clothes on the floor when I didn,t fold them yet and they are on my bed

Agree with you 100 percent. When my family did to me what they did (four months ago today to be exact) I felt and still feel a sense of betrayal, hurt, anger, shock, and mistrust. Feelings which I still have to this day. Forgive them, why for f*cks sake should I, forget them (not what they did) well I see less and less of them and that's the way I'm liking it RG

Interesting topic. I'd like to propose a dissenting viewpoint, however. I think it is possible to get a sense of people from their writing and posts, though of course with exceptions. I'd agree that typically in person you can find out even more about someone, especially after time and multiple interactions. However, in my experience there's many people I've first met through online forums, and more often than not if we meet up in person I absolutely recognize aspects of the persona I pictured from their writing. In fact, in some cases you can learn more about someone from their posts. There's people I know who are very shy and quiet in person, and it can be very difficult to get a sense of their beliefs, preferences, ideas, etc. But they are in fact much more open and confident in their writing, and I learn much more about their thoughts and personality through that medium than I do in person. Sometimes--for good or bad--people are more revealing of their true selves through their writing than they are in person. It is true that people have more choice of what to share of themselves in their posts, but I'd say this is also the case in person as well. Sometimes someone can be a real charmer in person and in fact more easily fool you about their true personality. Again, I'm not suggesting that overall meeting in person is more revealing, and that it takes time to get to know someone better. In many cases the points being made by everyone are true. I just wanted to offer a different perspective for consideration.

I agree with everything mentioned so far. the one thing I do disagree with because it personally impacts me, is the basic guidelines to body language. Because there actually IS a guideline and most are along the same lines, people mistakenly believe they are truth when they are not. They are a guideline for a reason, a starting point. To make my point, take the arms crossed in front of your body. Many guidelines state this a non verbal communication for stay away or unapproachable. I have met many wonderful approachable people who do this because it's comfortable. the one I dislike because it has personally affected me in both personal and business settings is the whole "look away to the left or right". One denotes a lie while the other denotes thoughtfulness. Unfortunately my 'thinking" goes the opposite way so have been told that people believe I'm lying when I'm actually thinking....and no, I'm not thinking of a lie! lol Point is, as was briefly mentioned, getting to know someone takes time and effort and you may never know "all" of someone" because we are definitely not a full disclosure species. Even the things mentioned such as being one way behind a computer screen and another in person, can tell you something. Sometimes people feel powerful and confident when they are alone but lose that with others. They may not even be aware of it. It all tells a story if you care to listen.

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Irrespective of what we think, do you think police are going to be given bigger budgets to target clients seeing escorts/courtesans. And they will need bigger budgets. My guess LE focus is still going to be on street prostitution. Those prostitutes they can see. I think seeing professional companions who operate discretely are for the most part going to be ignored because they are out of sight. Anyhow, not going to judge or worry about it, not a bridge we have crossed yet. A quick off the cuff rambling RG

Nordic laws won't fly... Regardless of what media says. I am waiting to see how things play out before jumping to conclusions.

Me too!!!!!!

I dont think we could ever truly no someone...Even if you have known the person for years, you may think you know them quite well, but everyone has something there hiding, or not revealing; everyone has one or many skeletons in their closet Thanks Christy for posting that link, it was extremely interesting and I very much enjoyed reading all the many articles from that page

Remember just the chorus people. The devil inside The devil inside Every single one of us The devil inside ah ah POOF earworm cured :)

Well my guess is if your not having problems in other cities where you tour, your not doing anything wrong. As has already been suggested, maybe request a deposit prior to a tour to Ottawa/Pembroke. Some cities and towns for some reason???...seem to be famous, well infamous for no shows. If guys want ladies to continue to tour to their cities /towns they will do their part to make their city/town attractive to a lady to tour to. No shows are unattractive to a lady, and a sure way to have a city/town put on a lady's no tour list. And deposits, well really shouldn't be an issue. If a guy is truly serious about seeing a lady paying a deposit is just using some of the money he would use to pay the lady anyways and paying her ahead of time. It's not an extra charge. Me, when possible, I pay a lady in full ahead of the encounter, even ladies I have yet to meet in person Anyhow a rambling Good luck RG

I trusted three people...family, two I've known all my life, one I've known for thirty years, and they turned my life upside down literally...so I no longer trust them, nor will I ever trust them. What they did an absolute betrayal and left me feeling hurt, not to mention the mess they made of my life. I have four friends that I trust without reservation. Three of those friends are "civilian", one is a very special lady that I met in this lifestyle. Outside of these four friends, I know a lot more people who I trust in varying degrees but now only four I trust without reservation. A morning rambling RG

Once upon a time, I, like Ice4fun, trusted everyone unless they gave me a reason not to. Unfortunately all to often, they did. Over the years, I've learned to be more objective about who I trust. I regard this industry very differently. There are a few women in this industry who I trust completely. I would trust them with anything. They have shown me I can. There are others, SP's or clients, who have shown me I can't. I proceed with guarded caution which is very out of my element. However, it is usually easy to tell and therefore easy to figure who I can and cannot trust. It has a lot to do with actions, AND with words. Be it to me, others, in ads, posts on message boards, treatment of others, etc. I certainly don't default to "trust no one unless they show me i can" - as I would go crazy with paranoia and suspicion. Instead, I approach lightly, ask questions, pay attention. It always presents itself to me one way or the other. There are few people in my life who I trust explicitly and those I do I regard with the highest admiration and respect because to be able to completely trust someone... to be 100% of who you are, share all of your thoughts, dreams, fantasies, fears, hopes, etc. Is a wonderful gift that person has given you as should be tended and appreciated so it may stand the tests of time. That also means making sure they feel the same of you. Trust cannot be one sided.

My deep thoughts on retainers might be I suppose...... I love DATY :Cunning:..... and I also like to live dangerously ;) oops Hi :oops: Jack

Again, great insight from different perspectives. As I anticipated there's lots of different views and positions on this and I'm glad I put it out there for discussion. Although there can be mutual positives from this scenario, the last thing I would want is to be thought of as haggling. Definitely need to tread softly around this one. Thanks everyone.

I have had one arrangement like this. It quickly became one sided (not my side) and ended poorly. Just be careful.

Both. Neither. Depends.

She more than he Myself more than them. Your thread doesn't say much. i trust more my emotions and instincts than those of others.

My two cents... If you have already been seeing her regularly and paying full price, why would she want to take less from you for more work/time for her? Regular income is lovely. But this entire concept can be a VERY slippery slope. You suggesting the "discount" is insulting. I agree with RG in the sense that you could approach this woman and suggest that you'd like to pay an amount monthly for set weekly times. But honestly that removes any "flexibility" for her, and in busy times, she may lose business. It cannot be up to you to define the rules. This is HER business, and if she wants to offer a reduced rate for such an arrangement, or offer more time "off the clock" so to speak, that has to be HER decision. Not yours. Remember - yes, this is a business relationship - but we are human beings - who spend A LOT of money to be part of this industry, and we are not the dollarama or a pawn shop. We aren't a bargain to be haggled over. Be very careful... And be mindful that you do not put her in a position where she feels taken advantage of. I understand and appreciate your desire to want to offer her a bit of stability... But less pay from you means more pay from someone else to pay bills and put food on the table :) Just my opinion!

Watching the AHL All Star game on Sportsnet!!!

I am back into my wheelchair and on my crutches again for the first time in a long time. However, there is no snow in the forecast so I won't have to go outside and shovel while sitting on my ass, which I have done before! As well, if you have to have a week of basically sitting around, what better week than in the middle of the winter Olympics!

My mother passed away recently. There had always been tension between my mother and her family. My Aunts did not want to attend the funeral or reception but they did. Other people at the funeral told them wonderful stories about my mother. This helped them with their closure and gave them a sense of peace and forgiveness. Forgiving someone who has done you wrong can be a bitter pill to swallow. Your first reaction is probably to hold on to your anger and to blame the person who caused you pain. This is natural. However, what you must understand is that holding on to hurt and anger causes you more pain than the person your anger is directed towards. For this reason, it is necessary to forgive - not for the other person, but for yourself. In order to forgive, it is necessary to let go of all the negative emotions you harbor towards the other person. Anger, hurt, betrayal, bitterness, regret - you need to find an outlet for all of these bad feelings, otherwise they will fester and cause you further pain. Remember, you are not doing this to ease the other person's conscience or to condone their actions, you are doing it to allow yourself to heal and move forward.

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There are some amature statements i want to clear up..... Eating peanut butter by the spoon is ok...... The real "classy" way to do it is a scoop with your finger......and then sucking on your finger after Chip crumbs are best swept off your body directly into the dip container then again scooped with your finger. Drinking from yhe carton is ok.....i use a straw or cut the container open and turn it into a glass. When i cook so etimes i do not even put it in a dish.....right from the pan i cooked it in and often with the spatula or spoon i made it with. Posted via Mobile Device

Pretty sure that anything that can be reasonably contrived to be currency or substantive trade would be considered payment. What's obvious is that the basis for this abolitionist's approach is founded on unsupported stereotypes. Studies have shown that indoor sex work is almost never motivated by addiction. The causal link for street sex work is questionable as well. And, to say workers choose sex work in order to survive isn't any different than saying I chose my career in order to survive. Whenever people work for money, they're doing it out of an interest in survival. Unfortunately, there's been less study on the motivations of clients (something I'm academically intetested in,) which makes it a lot easier for a picture of victimization to be painted the way Joy Smith does. Not that she seems to apply much considered thought to researching her position in the first place...

I think that would be awesome ... sometimes there is a girl at the Fax who wears elegant gowns and she really stands out among the other ladies in a good way. Plus it may help keep the ladies warmer during these horribly cold times :P

This made me think of another - I never put my laundry away, I just take clothes out of the laundry bag til it's empty and the clothes are in the hamper. Then I put them back in the bag and head to the laundry room. Also.... I may have sniff-tested a hoodie yesterday...

Ha ha Cleo that's all too funny. Personally I live on my own so I have only myself to please most of the time. I seem to revel in stuff my Mother would have blanched at especially while eating alone. I belch loudly, occasionally fart equally long and loudly and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I'll use my fingers to eat food that, if I had company, I would use the proper utensil and I'll pick up my bowl and drink the milk after I'm done my cereal instead of spooning it into my mouth. I'll drink milk and orange juice out of the carton and yeah occasionally I'll just dip my finger in a jam jar or honey jar and take a swipe for a sugar rush.

I think this can be easily interpreted in both the ways expressed in the above posts. As haggling and disrespectful, and as a good and beneficial arrangement for both parties. Part of the issue is how often you are seeing the lady now. If you tend to see her twice a month, then maybe the guaranteed commitment to 4 times a month would be seen as beneficial and worth the trade-off in terms of the addition time she would be investing. You also need to be careful of not taking advantage of that extra time i.e. not expecting the level of service that might go with a 2 hour appointment, suddenly being squeezed into the 90 minutes. There is lots to discuss, so i would suggest having an open and frank discussion. You could preface that discussion by saying that you respect her decision either way, and that regardless of the outcome you'll still want to book with her. Take that pressure out of the equation. If you propose this and your continued patronage is seen as a bargaining chip (i.e. if we can't come to an agreement I may have to stop seeing you) then it would, it seems to me quickly become a bad situation. I've had arrangements like this in the past. And if approached properly, can be very beneficial to both parties. But it does need to be approached from positions of trust and respect. When I've had these arrangements though, the effort was to ensure that, while there was a certain "retainer", that as close as possible market rates for services were respected. where I have had a "special rate" structure, it was sometimes on much longer multi-hour dates, with shorter dates still at the usual rate. To be totally honest, though, I'd probably just pre-book the 4 appointments, and pay each time. There are lots of things that can go wrong with this. She gets sick, or has an emergency and isn't available. You can't make it because something comes up and you expect a new time, but she can't fit you in, but also feels she held time for you so is reluctant to now forego other clients in order for you to get your time. Even though you prepaid, if you reschedule to another time she is potentially losing income. These sorts of things can make make for bad feelings. Porthos

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forgiveness is a two way street. The other person also needs to be accepting of forgiveness. In other words, take some responsibility for what they did, and be willing to acknowledge the affect of their actions on you. If they can't do that, then it is very hard to forgive unconditionally. when it is possible, though, i think forgiveness should always be sought. Both the opportunity to be forgiven, but also the opportunity to extend forgiveness. My father and I had a very strained relationship. When he was dying of cancer, we had an opportunity to sit and talk, over long periods of time, in ways we never had when he was healthy. We both had a chance to really get to know each other again, in a different way. We both came to understanding and forgiveness, and the fact that we were able to do that before he passed is something I treasure to this day.

@ Suite Escapes, agreed! Let a woman be a woman ;)

for indies, I would recommend luscious lilly or sensual erin

That reminds me of the old joke: A guy asked his buddy what he was getting his wife for Valentines Day to which he answered: "A box of chocolates and a vibrator." when he was asked why such a strange combination of gifts he answered: "If she doesn't like the chocolates she can go screw herself."

Personally I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. In this lifestyle you may just meet that one in a million lady who is special, a friend. I'll use the term companion for purposes of this post, be it SP/MA/or Dancer. That said, in this lifestyle exclusivity should not be expected. Not by a companion. Not by a client Clients should always expect a companion to see other clients. Likewise a companion should expect clients to see other companions. This is a poly amorous lifestyle, not monogamous. A companion should want her clients to be happy and part of that comes from seeing other companions. Likewise a client should want a companion to see other clients because that helps her business. If this dancer expects you to be "faithful" just to her, is she willing to be just as "faithful" to you? Or is it not a case of being "faithful" but being possessive. She has already made you stay away from the strip club, because I assume it isn't enjoyable for you anymore. No, you shouldn't feel guilty, she should feel guilty for taking the enjoyment out going to a strip club from you Probably a convoluted long winded rambling RG