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While I completely agree that being a success in our profession is all about establishing an identity and offering terrific service, and while it's also true that a lot of the free or cheap advertising sites are full of new companions who don't seem to know what they're doing, it's also true that entering this business is never easy. Most women become paid companions because they're in a significant crisis of some kind. It's extremely rare for someone to make a considered, deliberate, well-researched decision to become a prostitute. New providers usually model what they see; these days that means ads on CL and BP. When asked for advice, I often encourage women to join an agency rather than attempt to launch themselves as independent from the get-go. They'll have more security, someone else will post their ads, some kind of screening is usually in place and, most important of all, they're more likely to talk to other women in the industry. They'll also find out whether they can do the work, which is much more difficult than anyone imagines when she starts out. Unfortunately, a lot of women are in such difficult circumstances that they're not able to take good, sensible advice. They're terrified of being discovered, they hope that this is just a temporary career move and they don't want anyone to know what they've been doing, including other prostitutes and escort agencies. They make mistakes that they could have avoided. Too often, they're forced to deal with dangerous situations without any preparation ahead of time or support afterward. When I see these ads, I always worry. New companions are more easily bullied, coerced, confused and blackmailed than those of us who have been around for awhile. Their health and safety are at considerable risk. And because of their extreme isolation, the likelihood that they will get into something that they can't manage is very high.

You need to be smart enough to know when to avoid a particular client base, such as ..... 1) Men who have been burned badly by others sps, and then paints all sp's with the same brush..... 2) Those who are always looking for the cheapeast of the cheap when it comes to cost...these men usually tend to go over their said time and you will burn out quickly-and that will kill your chances of success in this business. You need to be strong enough to ensure that you avoid: 3) Clients who try and persuade you to overlook your usual restrictions... 4) Caving in to suggested rates by hobbiests...they have no idea what is to do something like this. There seems to be an 80$ trend going on right now...and that is all I am gonna say ;) MOST of the men on this board prefer quality over quanity...THANK GOD :bowdown: I would suggest CERB as the place to attract your best client base! All of the other sp's advice is very good too!!

Sometimes I wonder about some girls. It seems that every girl with a camera and bra's and panties seem to think they can be an sp. Well I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you it takes more then mostly naked pics on the internet to be an sp. An SP needs to be patient professional, and kind with a strong back bone and thick skin :) The job pretty much is to be pretty clean and nice. And I don't mean your stereotypical super modal pretty. I mean nice blouse, skirt, heels, and yes ladies blow dry and style your hair and put on make up (properly) If your're gonna charge $200/h at least make an effort to pr nice enough looking that when you look in the mirror you could almost do yourself lol It doesn't seem to be much of an issue here but you do see often girls that post a few pics of them selves then post 3or4 ads for themselves per day then get all pissed after a day or two and blast the customers for not being interested. Put some time and effort into writing. Post about rainbows and butterflies at first if you have to. I know sometimes I can get grumpy on my phones with texts and calls asking like 1000 questions lol. But luckily I've been able to draw interest through my posts and the random thoughts that pop in my head and keep an everlasting memory with my infectious smile and playful nature that people witness when they meet me. The unfortunate thing is that with the ladies that don't take this lifestyle professionally just make the rest of us look bad and the profession look bad.

Both of you are right Meag and RG. It is frustrating to see this people advertising, and trying to get clientele under a wrong impression, but as RG says at the end it all comes to the conclusion that is not just a pic in pretty lingerie what makes you an SP or MA in my case, and that is why people like us become popular and build a reputation, because we are there to deliver and cater as we promise, because we respect the gentlemen that chose us in the many ladies that there are available. These girls may have the gentlemen come to them once but will never see them again as for us, ladies that care and take this seriuos and as a proffesion with pride.. We will see many more times repeat and satisfied gentlemen ;). As they know we care for them and have respect for them as clients and as people.

This kind of gig obviously isn't for everyone and from the outside it may look simple and easy. But when you consider the fly by night types and those who become overwhelmed by what it takes to run a successful business I'd think the 80-20 rules applies meaning that maybe 20% can actually make it for any period of time. Peace MG

I know it seems as though there are many women entering this business thinking they can cut it with minimal effort to make a few bucks but it is those exact people who soon come to realize that it takes a lot of effort and many will eventually disappear once they got what they wanted financially. There is a lot of competition and those who do put the effort in and are serious about it, reap the rewards. I feel as though the trend in this business is no longer about the experience with many clients ( I'm excluding the many men of cerb here and this is just based on the types of advertising sites out there that are popular right now) and more about just getting laid. Clients are not idiots and realize the significance of having a website, nice photos and just taking the time to post on sites like this to engage customers and cultivate themselves as a professional escort. The people who don't take it seriously and just come on other sites like fly by nights are not considered competition for me. I am considered a professional and made a name for myself so I don't see them as a threat coming to take over this business. While classified advertising online may be the trend now, you will eventually see a different business model replace it in a few years. It's no different than fashion with the trends and fads that come and go every year. While most ladies here are professionals, we are also a brand despite what our job actually entails. Branding takes time but if you stick with your convictions and how you believe you should run your business, you won't have a problem. Being bothered by these fly by nights is always like having to shoo away a mosquito each and every time. They are always there but you have to learn to adapt to them. What it all comes down to is that men who hobby are looking for specific things and two of those qualities being good service and professionalism. Along with that comes with a certain etiquette of the SP and how she carries herself. These are all the traits of a professional and those who want fly by night girls or the new quick flavour on another site can have them. And while many hobbyists will take a chance, if they get burned, they won't make the same mistake twice. Take time to invest in yourself and while you may not see it now, this is what customers come to appreciate.. Professionalism by being genuine and sincere in this business has its advantages.

I'm a big fan of mapporn on Reddit. It less devious then it sounds. Just a bunch of different maps showing some statistical point. I found one on top search terms for each US state, and which also led me to this website http://www.pornmd.com/sex-search I'm a big culture nerd. I love to see how different cultures and nationalities differ and how they all come together. And I think apart from love, eating, and sleeping, sexual desires are another of human's basic instincts. However, for a variety of reasons, it's often tucked away. So imagine my excitement when I saw a website dedicated to the top 10 porn related searches for many countries! (Some were omitted for lack of data). Stuff I found particularly interesting: - Surroundings play a massive role in sexual interests. In Southern US states, black porn was especially popular. In states with a high Asian population, Asian porn was highly sought after. This holds true in other countries. From France, I discovered the word Beurette. Supposedly means North African woman, usually used in slang used for really attractive North African women. China's top searches mainly consisted of racial interests. Ex. Japanese, Chinese, etc. Searches in Southern and central Africa centered among black women, while Middle Eastern searches focused on women from the same race. - Gay porn searches neared the top or were more commonly found in countries that seemed more repressed. Iran, Pakistan, Palestine. - There were some very unusual stuff, like South Korea dedicating two of the top 10 searches for poop, Syria's scat fetish made it to number 9. Also rape came up in the subcontinent, which was...interesting. Incest related porn (sister) came up for Palestine. - Porn seems to transcend political divides. To be blunt about it, boobs are boobs. And it seems that some places like the erotic content of their political enemies. Ex. Israel's top searches included two Arab related contents. - And this being Canada, here are Canada's top porn searches 1) Asian 2) Teen 3) Milf 4) Compilation 5) Massage 6) pov 7) Hentai 8 ) Anal 9) Indian 10) College - United States' top searches were 1) milf 2) teen (Matches Canada) 3) college 4) creampie 5) massage (Matches Canada) 6) Asian 7) pov 8 ) Amateur 9) Compilation 10) Anal

I'm a bit taken aback. I hadn't noticed that I was near 2,000 posts. I hadn't paid much attention to how many posts I'd written. Still, in life the milestones that end in zeros do give me pause. I've been a member of CERB for just over four years, with a couple of hiatuses. I've learned more here than anywhere about my profession, my colleagues and the gentlemen who honour me with their support, company and friendship. Participating in this board and our serious as well as playful discussions is a priceless part of my working life. Even when I feel dismayed, annoyed or saddened by some of the things we talk about, every day I also read things that lift my heart and restore my faith in humankind. I'm pleased to contribute to this community. Knowing that I have your faith and respect is deeply moving and I am grateful to you all. Thank YOU, everyone!

I lovelovelove that moment, when I can tell he's about to release...that's when my eyes don't move from yours, and I watch as your face erupts with pleasure while your cock erupts in my mouth... HOT. :D Oh wait...am I supposed to post about my own orgasm intensity? Mmmmm, always with cock on the brain... ;)

I tend to have rather intense orgasms, especially of they are multiple. I don't think I'm necessarily a screamer...maybe when I use my hitachi But I'm a French swearer, giggle when I come :)

While I agree 100% with what has been written here so far, it makes me think back to my beginning days of advertising. I have come long way from the first ad I wrote, to the style I have developed now. It was a learning experience that is for sure! When I see an ad that has the little "i" and words like...call me anytime...with no personality being offered to the reader, then right away I know this is an unexperienced SP who has not yet developed her on line personality. Some of us catch on to that, other's do not. The ones who do not, tend not to do well as most hobbyist are seeking an experienced provider. And it does show a level of self respect to have ads and pics that are not appearing to advertising a piece of meet from a grocery store, lol... I think back, and I remember my some of my first ads, they were boring, spelling mistakes galore, but always were written with a bit of flair. My pics had come along way too, but I am artistically inclined so I did not struggle so much with that aspect of it. I think my first ad here was something like " hello gentlemen, i am in fredericton avail for romantic encounters, call me or email me" hahahhahahaha, I laugh thinking of it! I just did not understand at that time that how I write and present myself is key to getting the fellas interested enough to make the first contact with me. It was just this last year I figured out to add color, format and fonts to my ads, lol...like this:) hahaha so I guess my point is, that we can create, develop and evolve into our on line personality, and for some it takes time to learn. I mean, there are those who will not change or be inspired to create a lasting impression, and those ladies tend not to do well...but with some inspiration and encouragement some will catch on and really develop into a great on line persona:) Nothing comes easy, you need to put effort into it! If you are willing to that then you probably will do great:) If not, then sadly you will be overlooked and left behind;( Everyone has a starting point!

Kudos to Mr Green for suggesting the 20/80 principle. It's one of those unwritten rules of most business ventures - only 1 out of every 5 businesses that opens will last a single year within any market. Those that do survive have to fight tooth and nail to maintain their fair market share against established businesses and new start ups. The most successful businesses never rest on their laurels. They innovate, they advertise, they research, they re-brand, ... they do everything within their collective powers to achieve success. This business is no different than any other in that regard. Those of us on both sides of the business who have maintained an eye on the providers list have seen countless beautiful young women enter with a splash and then fade into obscurity. That fading comes with a myriad of reasons but the most common is the inability to run a successful business in a market dominated by savvy business professionals. The best in the business know how to grow a clientele while maintaining their existing customer base. They know how to reach their target audience. If you can take it down to bare bones, think of it this way: Everyone can make a bacon sandwich. The best sandwich makers will be able to convince you that their sandwich is more appealing, more delicious, better made and a much better value regardless of the price you have to pay. The business models for this industry can be translated to or from any service industry. McDonalds sells you a better burger, Tim Hortons serves you a better coffee, Cineplex offers you better movies, etc. Their success is based on the fact that they are able to convince the masses that not only is their product is superior but their service, that intangible element that can't be quantified, is impeccable. The best SPs/MAs understand the basic principles and apply them diligently. The ones that don't succeed are the ones that fail to recognize this as a business, and a business that can be lucrative if a successful business plan is utilized. Heady stuff for a middle of the night post... but useful in the right hands!

27. Alternatives to the Bacon Sandwich I was insensitive. I forgot that many providers have religious convictions that may prevent them from providing bacon sandwiches at their incall locations. Alternatives, well. Hmmm. Do you have a friend that might make bacon sandwiches that you could call? That'd work. Steak sandwiches are nice. With caramelized onions and mushrooms, on a soft bun, meat cooked medium rare with a dollop of horseradish mayonnaise. I like that too. Not as much as bacon sandwiches, but if you make up for it by putting a little more effort on the plate, like a sprig of parsley and a few cherry tomatoes, it is almost as good. Vegetarians. Hmmm. I never considered you either. Listen. If you have a friend that will make you bacon sandwiches and put it in a nice sealed thermal bag, I might just take that to go at the end of our encounter. Or you could make butter tarts. I like butter tarts. The butter tart to bacon sandwich equivalency ratio is approximately 12.8 to 1, but I would take an even dozen and call it a deal. Vegans. You are going to make my life difficult. Anything in your fridge will probably make me feign a polite smile and rub my tummy indicating that I am already full. I don't believe that there is a vegan equivalent to any of the aforementioned sandwiches or buttery confections. You might want to consider a new profession... or.... you could offer duos with a bacon lady... that'd work! Just sayin'. 28. The Negotiator You enter a restaurant. Your brain is like Rain Man. You know that you will only eat 84% of your hamburger, 67% of your fries, 92% of your coleslaw and drink 96 % of your coffee. Waste not, want not. You speak to the manager of your restaurant. You ask what the hamburger platter costs replete with a steaming cup of coffee. He quotes you a price, of $10.17, taxes in and excluding gratuity. You balk. You counter offer at $7.82 including gratuity, insisting that the amount of time spent at the table will be less than 14 minutes if the service of the meal comes within 2.4 minutes of your arrival thus allowing the restaurant to serve more customers per hour. You ask to only be served 84% of a hamburger, 18 of the standard 27 french fries, 4.6 ounces of coleslaw and 7.68 ounces of coffee. This seems perfectly reasonable. To. You. The manager politely asks you to leave. Now. GTFO. You get a bit snippy and threaten not to darken his door ever again. He raises an eyebrow, gives his head a slight nod indicating the direction of the door. You see that your negotiating skills have missed their mark on this savvy proprietor. You don't eat that day. The same holds true in the provider world. When the pretty lady says that she offers 1 hour, 2 hour, 4 hour and 8 hour encounters with specific prices attached thereto, you should understand that those are the time allotments and prices that are NON negotiable. You can't get 84% of a BJ. This is a luxury service and frankly, you have an alternative - you can seek someone else with a cheaper rate and more suitable time frames BUT you have to understand. A Camaro is not a Ferrari. A Pinto is not a Benz. A Lada is not a Rolls Royce. You may end up at the same destination with all six, but you know that the ride won't be as smooth and certainly not as memorable. 29. I love you vs I LOVE YOU. Alotta Fagina. Ohhhhhhhh my GOD. Alotta. Fagina. I have seen her like ummmm.... 25 times in the past two months. She is my muse. She makes me happy. She fills my heart with joy. She is perfect. Good heavens. I love her. No. I love bacon sandwiches. I LOVE HER. With all my heart. I LOVE her. She must love me. She must LOVE me. We have had sex like 25 times in the last two months. That's what... 24 more times than I had all of last year with my ex-girlfriend. Granted she was in a coma for 11 of those months, but that's semantics. I LOVE Alotta Fagina. She LOVES me. We will move in together. We can have an island, small at first, like one that holds up the centre support of a train bridge but in time we will have an island in the Caribbean. When I win the lotto. I have a plan. I will make her the happiest woman on the face of the planet. She has made me the happiest man on the face of the planet. <THWACK> WTF! I was expressing my true love, my undying affection. We are in love. <THWACK> Okay, please stop that. I know you are jealous of our deep spiritual connection. You could not possibly understand how much we LOVE one another. <THWACK> Now that hurt. Why did you use a baseball bat? I may have a contusion. Look, just look... you left a mark. How can I explain this to the epicentre of my universe, the apple of my eye... I know, I will say I was defending her honour. That will make her UBER love me even more than she ultra loves me now. This is a dangerous game. You may have affection for providers and providers may have affection for us. That's a natural bond that comes with spending time together but never confuse love for LOVE. You have a paid relationship with a provider that is mutually beneficial, and over time that may make you much closer. I am not saying that it's IMPOSSIBLE that LOVE will blossom, but the most basic principle is that you will find an amazing person to spend your time and money with... and that's the premise that you must keep in mind. Love your provider, respect your provider but when you feel the emotions welling up within you, take a break from your provider and take stock. It might be best for everyone! ... i'm sure that there will be more....

I does make the whole profession much more difficult to work in, because everyone is worried that the sp is into bait and switch, or she's gonna show up in sweat pants and construction boots to see you. Because there are girls out there that have sexy pics and will do a call wearing crap. For those of us that take the time to get dressed up, pamper ourselves and take the time to see you, it is aggrevating when these others think that its easy to be an sp.

I really hope to change your mind So please listen to my plea Rumour has it SPs from my city Offer full service BB Which means they use no condom When letting clients 'in' You all know in this business That's a major mortal sin We must keep one another safe It's the only thing we've got So by accepting this behaviour You're worse off than I thought No amount of cash you've got Will convince me to sex bare If you ever try and do it I'll crush your balls I swear Paid sex can't be unprotected Your dick could get infected So for those of us who don't And no matter what we won't Are the ones you need to see To remain STD free

To be honest, the first thing that catches my attention is the pics that are linked to the posting, however, I have also gone and met with a lady solely based on her wittiness and personality that rings through her ad. Sacha is the first that comes to mind for this. Her pics do not reveal very much about her and I likely would never have gone to see her, but I always click on her postings because of the humour she uses. Because of this, I wanted to get to see the woman behind the humour and I was glad that I did as I had a great experience. For the same reason, I am looking forward to meeting Emily J., Cleo Catra, and Red Seductress at some point soon. Though these ladies do have hot pics as well, it is their ads that always catch my attention and have me looking forward to a possible meeting. So, to answer your question, I think that the words in the ad do play an important role in attracting clients. MM

Holy. Mother. Of. God.

You really can't go wrong with these 2 renowned artists of the fellationistic period (yes, I just went to the trouble of making up a whole new word just for them. That's how good they are). Either seperately or together! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=32388&highlight=cleo (I haven't had the guts to try 'em out together yet...but I can only imagine!) Additional Comments: Others I have had great oral experiences with are: Redseductress. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=57866 This orally inclined lady honestly and truly loves giving head. And as Sara said, loving what you do is the key to doing it great! Rave recommendations about her oral skills can be found here, http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=6643 And Malika Fantasy http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=50296. She's based in Toronto but visits Ottawa frequently. Only ever had the opportunity to see her once but it's a memory that has stuck with me! Wicked oral skills! Definitely plan to see her again on her next trip should my schedule allow for it this time. Recommendations, http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=19132&highlight=malika She also does duos with SaraMQ http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48655&highlight=sara

So many good points have been made, but a comment made concerning competion is one I don't understand. In this business there will always be someone prettier, slimmer, better built, smarter, funnier, more talented than me, you and her. But that doesn't make them competition it just makes them those things. No one can compete with anyone in this business as they'll never have what you have, what I have or what the next girl has and to get that- they-the gentleman has to visit with you, me or her. I can't understand looking at it any other way. Now there are some men who measure our worth by the size of our breasts or the beauty of our faces,ect,ect and they may compare but schmmmoosh to them, thats superficial, opinionated and plain stupid, jmo. If they are going to jump at the first girl that causes their eyes to bulge without doing any further investigations thats their mistake. It does take alot to be an sp but the biggest thing and one that should be first and formost is the sisterhood of it all, women sticking together, wanting to help each other and being supportive.We can all become great, beautiful, talented and in demand sp's if we stick together, advise, educate and promote oneanother. It is that simple.:biggrin:

Lee, I remember you bribing the photographer to destroy the pictures. Fortunately, however, I had previously bribed him with a bacon sandwich to give me a copy. And yes, you do look fat... this is, after all, the world famous FB-BBM agency, and we have standards to maintain! Aaaanyway... you may have been wondering why our friend Hfxandy wasn't in the last update? Well, he'd been away, and had a hard time getting back. First, he had to find his truck... ...and then make sure it had enough gas... The driving got pretty hard at times, and we weren't sure if he was going to make it... ...I mean, we REALLY weren't sure! And the navigation was tricky at times. But... he made it eventually And best of all, he brought us something that we've never had at BBM Towers before. He brought.... interns! So, Samantha, that explains this sudden burst of activity from the BBM-cave - unfortunately the squirrels weren't up to working the treadmill to make our computers work, but the interns have done a marvelous job which has allowed us to get back in touch with the outside world (although I regret to announce that the cost in bacon sandwiches has been immense; so much so, alas, that I didn't have any left to bribe the photographer to give me any more of Lee's photoshoot). And we're so glad that you'll be coming to visit that we've now put the interns to work smartening the place up so that it'll all be ready for the arrival of your magnificent self, plus whatever assorted man-slaves you've required to pull your sled to get here. Actually, if you don't mind, we have a job or two for them lined up as well...

Getting a really nice new hairstyle and feeling like a lamb in the spring!!

Who to see...well that is very much a personal decision decided on who peaks your interest Here are Ottawa ladies I have met and had wonderful encounters with. Meg For Fun Angela Of Ottawa Mia Bella (not sure if she is retired) Alexandra Sky Isabella Gia and if an erotic massage is something you'd like to try give Megan (Megan's Touch) a call There are other Ottawa ladies that are highly recommended but I have yet to meet them Just mentioning the Ottawa ladies I have seen RG

Once in a while you come to realize that so many of our members really don't "get" the whole hobby experience, or rather, they understand that there are rules but believe they are somehow exempt. So let's help them. Let's give some handy tips to make this a more wonderful experience for all. This is a pleasant place so let's keep it constructive... and be aware that the rules shouldn't just be for clients, you can also add some helpful tips that may help a new provider too! Here goes: 1. Appointment time is at 2:00 pm, what time do I arrive? Ummmmm. Hmmmmm. What part of 2:00 pm is ambiguous? A 2 o'clock appointment means you are at her door at 2. Not 1:55, not 2:10. It's seems petty but when you screw up her schedule, you may be screwing up MY schedule. I may be the appointment at 3. I have things to do... and my schedule may not be as loosey goosey as yours. I may be using a very small window of time or I may have "commitments" that see me arriving like clockwork elsewhere. Regardless, when the little hand is at 2 and the big hand is at 12, be where you are supposed to be. 2. "I am awesomely wicked good in bed, and I often masturbate to pictures of myself nude, because I am that good looking. Can we negotiate a better rate?" In a word, No. Would you go to a restaurant and say, "I am a really good eater, can I get a better price on that steak?" Would you go to a lawyer and say, "I am an awesome criminal, can you represent me for free?" Would you go to the dentist and say, "My teeth are so bad that you should fix them all for $50!" A service provider gets paid at a set rate because she is a professional. She is good... no, not just good... wickedly awesome good, at what she does. Your part is the compensation, her part is the wicked awesome part. Pay the pretty lady and be happy. 3. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ever step into an elevator and stand next to someone who smells like they have never met a bar of soap they liked? Ever met someone that looked like they were an extra in the Walking Dead? Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone and wondered if they ate something dead? Step one. Go to the potty. Do your business. Wipe. Wipe again. Wipe again. and then, wipe again. Do the optical test. Last wipe. Is there any residue? If yes, start over. If no, then proceed to step two. Step Two. Shower. Clean EVERYWHERE. Rinse. Repeat. Did you pay attention to anywhere in particular??? Hmmm??? Go back to those places. Make em sparkle. (at this point I do suggest that artificial glitter is NOT necessary.) Get out of the shower. Towel dry (for pete's sake use a clean towel!)... apply a generous amount of deodorant/anti-perspirant. Brush your teeth. (if additional grooming is required, please do that too.) Step three. Clothing. Go to the place where you keep your clean clothes. No. Not the place where you put the stuff that you THINK you can wear again. The CLEAN clothes. You know that stuff that you just took from the dryer and folded nicely?? That's the stuff. Wear that shit. Uh oh... what if I have to do step one again?? Then repeat ALL the steps. Cuz skidmarks are not sexy. Febreeze showers are not acceptable. 4. I have to cancel, what do I do? Give your head a smack. With a hammer. Stop. Now take a pointy thing and stick it with great force into your upper thigh, avoiding the artery. Now, go to your car. Start it. Open the door, put your foot beneath a tire and have someone put that car in reverse. Cancellations? NOT COOL. We all know that shit happens. A death in the family. A sick kid. Decapitation with farm machinery. Thermonuclear war. Explosion of your planet from a death star ray. That shit is acceptable.... but you still owe the pretty lady an explanation AND a cancellation fee. When you cancel, providers don't eat. When providers don't eat they get distended bellies and look like kids from the CARE commercials. When you cancel, providers give not only you, but also your city, a bad reputation. This makes you masturbate more. Because you will never get laid again. Ever. You will over develop muscles in only one arm. Your clothes will fit poorly. People will figure it out and suspect you are the notorious masturbating king of cancellations. They will hunt you down and kill your family. Let's keep little Bobby and Joanie safe. If you make an appointment, keep that appointment. Your family will love you for it. 5. "I'm a little short on cash. Do you think she will notice if the envelope is a bit short?" In a word, yes. She will also point out that your penis is a bit short.... and that your skill level is a bit short... and that you cry like a bitch when you have your pathetic little man-gasm. Do you want that??? Do YOU WANT THAT, bitch??? Wow. That was a bit over-emphatic. Gonna step away from the computer and take a valium. BACK!!!! Where were we... yes. Shorting your provider. Not COOL. Remember, providers have special powers. They communicate telepathically. As soon as you walk out that door, she will know and so will all of her allies in the super friends. They will combine their superpowers and make sure that you never get wood again.... and if you do, it will be at inappropriate times... like at funerals or family gatherings or when talking to your grandfather or something like that. Seriously?? Give your head a shake. If you are short then GET the money and make sure you have it set aside BEFORE you book. You will have a wickedly awesome good time... just pay the pretty lady what you agreed to and enjoy! 6. Can I pay her in drugs? Hmmmm. Does your banker take drugs in lieu of money? Have you offered Rogers drugs in return for their cable/home phone/cell phone/internet bundle? When you get groceries at Loblaws, do they have a special drawer that says "financial equivalent in drugs?" You know the answer. "No, you addled-pated simpleton." Remember the distended belly part from above? Providers take cash because cash buys groceries, pays bills and looks pretty. Carrying cash will not get you arrested. Using cash is the engine that runs our capitalist society. "All you need is cash, cash is all you need." The Beatles sang that, I think. Your turn....

Hi all. Many thanks to all the beautiful ladies that post in and read these threads. As well, many thanks to the members posting their recommendations. I have been a casual reader/lurker for a few years, and I think it's time for me to get down to the brass tacks. I am looking for a lady that gives AMAZING blow jobs. I am talking about the type of experience that rolls my eyes back, and makes me forget to even breathe. I like long, slow, sensual, DEEP, eye-contact BJs with lots of play in "other" areas. I like it when a girl's attention is fully on me - not on the clock, her next appointment, the weather, local sports scores, etc. I am looking for something transcendent. I can assure the lady that full maintenance will be performed, that I will be squeaky clean, and that I will be INCREDIBLY appreciative of the act in question. I know that there are a few notable experts in the provision of said acts, but I would like to hear from the ladies themselves, and other patrons for their advice. Please help a guy in finding what he wants! Thank you!

As always the insightful ladies of CERB make some great comments. Another aspect to this is that in any service industry we'll see a variety of providers with different aspects to their business model. And as well for each level of service there is likely a corresponding client. Or market rules would say it wouldn't exist. I also agree with the point that I can suspect that many ladies start out for differing reasons, with different needs and different long term intentions. I don't begrudge anyone who makes this attempt. I've treated every lady I've met with the highest of respect. And in turn I've been blessed with some amazing encounters. In a free market quality will find quality. It just doesn't happen all the time but lets hope the majority. Cub

Good point Cristy. Every lady is unique and beautiful in her own way. Ladies shouldn't worry that some other lady is competition for her. JMHO but there isn't an ideal perfect woman, just women each of whom are unique and can offer something special to the clients they see A rambling from a guy who has been blessed to see a few ladies ;-) and each lady and the encounter provided was special and unique And I hope it came out right RG

Come get a relaxing massage by a hot little vixen xoxoxoxoxoxo About me- Sexy petite 20 year old with long red hair, sparkling green eyes! Out going, bubbly and ready to rock your world!! Providing- Flirty and dirty relaxation massage Soapy sexy showers Reverse massages Body slides- Duo massages(4 hands, 2girls) Hotub session9s & you'll leave happy. Schedule TODAY: 10-9 Rates- Single Massage 30mins: $50 45mins: $60 60mins: $80 Hot Tub Sessions 30mins: $70 45mins: $85 60mins: $100 Duo Massage rates also available upon request Location- West-end, Clean & cozy Contact-To book an appointment please send me a PM

Congratulations Samantha:)

Hello Gentlemen, -My name is Maya,im a greek olive lol,tanned olive skin, 125lbs,5'3,long curly black hair. -Im an Xxperienced MA,fun,down to earth,open minded -For Rates or more info feel free to contact me Via -Pm or contact number. -Special Rates on 30min sessions! -I offer Duos or single sessions,for Duo please call ahead My weekly schedule Monday 10-7pm Thurs 330-11pm Friday 11-11pm Sat 10-9pm Sun 10-9pm Contact number: 613-274-7073 Upscale,Licensed,Private Showers,Free Parking,discreet location. ----Hot New MA Services:wink:Pm me for info!! ----Je parle francais aussi---- Thank you for viewing my profile and hopefully ill meet you soon for some filthy fun Bisou,MAYA XOX Click this bar to view the full image.Click this bar to view the full image.Click this bar to view the full image.Click this bar to view the full image.Click this bar to view the full image. Click this bar to view the full image. __________________ __________________ __________________ __________________ Call Angel's Touch 613-274-7073 to book your sexy time

Congratulations, Samantha!! Your posts are always most appreciated!

Congrats Samantha ! You are an amazing personality and contributor to this board ! I look forward to many more posts, more adventures in our Croation penis warmer business, and more input and advise to all us fellas at the FB BBM lodge... ;)

Congratulations on your milestone Samantha Always enjoy reading your posts...looking forward to your next 2000 contributions RG

Congratulations Samantha on reaching 2000 posts!!! :D

And shave them nuts son. Ain't nobody like sucking on no hairy shit.

Well I guess it depends on situation. If you end up having bad luck the first few ladies that would be a sting that leaves a lot of guys skeptical. especially when those girls are constantly switching their name and phone number to look new. But if you are lucky enough to have clean, professional, and put together lady the first few times you are able to see easier the few that are just bad eggs instead of wondering if they are all bad

I like emiafish because he is a positive contributor to this community And like me, he doesn't drink (in fact we both quit drinking in 1980) and like me he isn't preachy about not drinking Just for you emiafish if you ever crave the taste of a beer but not the alcohol get Becks no alcohol (absolutely 0% alcohol) beer. It tastes the same as beer well as I remember it just no alcohol...you can get it in grocery stores RG

i wanna make your dreams your reality :smile: Hey guys, I am a sensual, happy, sexy french 20 years old cutie, 5ft5 tall, green eyes, black hair, 34 D, 120 pounds, soft tanned skin! I love my job and I am looking forward to meet all of you really soon... I just cannot get enough :wink: I am available: friday from 10pm til 11 pm saturday from 9am til 9pm sunday from off http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=6259 I workat a beautifulspa in the west end of ottawa and we have nice in room showers and a hot tub for you and I to enjoy :lovers: I offer amazing full body relaxation massage relieving your stress and tensions in your shoulders, taking away any pain in your back and ending with an explosion of FULL body relaxtion. slippery body slides work out of a clean, safe enviroment showers in everyroom that we can take advantage , lets get bubbly together.

I didn't forget her, she and I have yet to meet in person but I am so looking foward to when we do get together I only listed those Ottawa ladies I have met in person, not the ladies I want to meet but just haven't had the chance yet RG

Welcome! And... yes. Yes, it does. If you haven't found them already... the "New to this" forum has a huge amount of very useful information, and this thread has a lot of it packed into one easy (and entertaining) read. So, the first and far and away the most important bit of advice: read this stuff, because that's a lot easier than screwing up because you didn't know something. Tough, isn't it? And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but after you've seen a few ladies... it doesn't actually get any easier. Did I say "bad news"? Sorry, my mistake. I meant "awesomeness" :) Aaaaanyway... incall vs outcall is very much down to what you prefer. Some ladies only do one or the other, in which case it's not a decision you get to make if you want to see her. Generally, you'll pay a bit more for outcall as the SP will have travel expenses which she doesn't have if you visit her. Agency vs independent... doesn't matter, IMO. The important thing is the person you're seeing. Not really. As I said, pick the SP or MA first, and then the place really comes down to hers or yours (if she offers that choice, which quite a few don't). Read the recos here - there are lots of ladies with very good reputations. And to weed out the bad ones, keep an eye on CK's Diary, which is an invaluable resource. Well, Cleo and SMQ have lots of tattoos. So does Malika, if you can catch her when she visits. But there are a lot of ladies with at least a little bit of ink. And doubtless others with a lot. Well, you'll get that with almost anyone :) Good luck, and have fun!

25. The Incall. You finally get your greatest wish. Today's the day you are seeing Alotta Fagina. Sweet Jeebus. You have abstained from fondling your manly bits for 26 hours in anticipation of this glorious event, beating your old record by ... umm... pretty much 26 hours. Man you love your wiener. You have followed all posted rules and etiquette. You booked your appointment by her preferred method of contact, you have the envelope containing the exact amount for your encounter, you have groomed yourself, you smell good, you feel healthy... heck you even went to Alotta's website and purchased a gift card for her from her favourite vendor, Magical Walid's House of Middle Eastern Cheese. You are soooooo good to go. You arrive at the destination five minutes before your appointment and knock on her door at precisely 2:00 pm. You sir, are a rock star. You enter her home. You are now stepping foot into Villa Fagina. It's beautiful. Tastefully decorated, the house is a testament to the woman that you have lusted after since joining CERB. Uh oh. Nerves. You know what happens when the nerves hit. Pee pee. You must make a pee pee. Maintaining your suave demeanour, you saunter over to Alotta and say in your sexiest voice, "Alotta, my glamourous minx, purveyor of pleasures of the flesh, my near naked nymph. I gotta pee. Where's the potty?" Alotta directs you to your destination. You enter the bathroom and come face to face with your personal demon. Her medicine cabinet. What to do. I KNEW I should have read that whole thread. If I open her cabinet, will I be struck down with penis cooties??? Good GODS... what would Old Dog do??? Empowered by his love for the super friends, a spectral image of Old Dog appears straight from his crystal cavern in the depths of downtown Ottawa: You hear an awesomely wicked voice saying, "Open that cabinet and I will give you penis cooties. Use your head. Be a happy hobbyist. Respect her privacy. Oh... and remember to wash your hands really well and put that seat back down after you flush." It's not rocket science. You are at her place of business for a very good reason. That reason is not to invade her privacy - follow her to her boudoir and be happy. Alotta Fagina has given you access to her sensuality, not her stuff. 26. Serial Texting You want to see her. She is soooooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOooooo freakin' HAWT. You have everything prepared. You think, "I'm gonna get laid tonight, I'm gonna get laid tonight." You do a happy dance. It's a little disconcerting. Even to you. You stop and vow never to repeat the "anticipating getting laid" dance again. You see she accepts texts. So that's what you do. You: Hey BB (1:39 pm) Her: Oh, hi. (1:41 pm) You: Hey BB (1:42 pm) Her: Oh, Hi again. (1:44 pm) You: Hey BB (1:45 pm) Her: Ummm, Hi again, again. (1:49 pm) You: Hey BB, yer pretty. (1:50 pm) Her: Ummm thanks. (1:55 pm) You: Yer pretty. I have a boner. (1:56 pm) Her: Ummmmm, that's nice. Is there a point you are trying to make. (2:10 pm) You: Yer pretty, I still have a boner. (2:11 pm) Her: Okay. It's nice that that happens for you. Do I know you? (2:42 pm) You: Hey BB. My boner is still there. You have nice boobs. (2:43 pm) Her: I do have nice boobs. Thank you. (3:20 pm) You: I lost my boner but got another one. I like your boobs alot. (3:21 pm) Her: That's really, umm, nice of you to say. You know "alot" is actually two words. Was there something that you needed to ask? (4:12 pm) You: I lost my second boner but got another one again. Yer HAWT. You have a great ass. (4:13 pm) Her: Oh thanks again. Will you please stop sending me texts? (5:22 pm) You: I have my fourth boner. (5:23 pm) You: Why won't you ANSWER me? (5:28 pm) You: You are a boner killer. Wait. It's okay. Number 5 just happened. Please answer. (5:33 pm) You: Hey BB (5:38 pm) You: Hey BB (5:43 pm) You: Hey BB (5:51 pm) You: Hey BB, my boner feels weird. (5:53 pm) You: Hey BB, my boner just collapsed in on itself. (5:56 pm) You: Hey BB, the cat just ate my boner. (5:58 pm) You: Bitch, you ruined my life. (6:01 pm) You: On the upside, I have a mangina now. I am going to steal all your business. (6:02 pm) You: On the downside, my mangina is not feeling that great. I hate you. (6:03 pm) You: Answer ME! (6:04 pm) You: You used your super powers didn't you? (6:05 pm) You: My tummy feels weird. Did you give me some kind of virus? (6:06 pm) You: Dammit. All I want to do is listen the Celine Dion now. (6:07 pm) You: You did this. (6:08pm) You: I'm sorry (6:09 pm) You: This is my last text to you. (6:10 pm) You: No, this is my last text. (6:11 pm) You: :( There we have it. Serial texters get penis cooties and listen to Celine Dion. It's a true fact, as witnessed above.

From the Client's Perceptive, Ladies, your running a business and clearly, there is a demand for your services. Please consider me as one of many examples. I do enjoy the services you provide however your services are not limited to pant's off to pant's on. Granted, that's the fun part. I appreciate the following skills, 1.The ability to schedule, don't throw an ad on the last page and wait for my call. You'll be too busy with the drunken sailor. 2. The ability to pick a quality location / hotel. I can blend in an upscale lobby in business attire but I can't stand outside knocking on your door looking over my shoulder. 3. The ability to keep me informed of your travel schedule. When our schedules meet up, It's great to know in advance and allows me to book in advance and gives me something to look forward to. 4. The ability to know your strengths. One example may be that most SP's are not great photographers. An i phone and a mirror is not considered a professional photo shoot. Post a professional photo and the quality of calls will come. 5. Work your regular clients. Trust is not something initially purchased however is something I will gladly pay for again and again. I pay for it in dollars, time and miles to see one of my regular SP's. Well, that's it from my perceptive. Anyone providing these skills gets my attention and my dollars. Speaking of which, thanks to a quality provider sending me an email two weeks ago, including a professional photo, advising me that she will be in town at a quality hotel.....I had the most wonderful lunch date today. Just my thoughts.

24. Humanity This is going to be a mushy one and to that end, it will stand alone. You may have noticed that I use the phrase "I love you" when I speak to many of the providers on the board. This is not casual nor is it capricious; it is heartfelt and honest. When you enter the hobby, you enter with the thought of fulfilling some carnal desires, pleasures of the flesh. As you begin to progress through there are natural bonds that are created. You enjoy the company of the women that you see because they are not just a vessel for your sexual voyage; they are warm, caring and magnificent human beings. I want you to pay particular attention to those last three words. True, this is a service industry and the services provided are fantastic - but you do connect with a person - a magnificent human being that has offered a part of herself to you in a mutually gratifying situation. I am a truly fortunate man. I have built bonds with providers and members here that have surpassed my wildest expectations. I don't go a single day without speaking to at least one person on this board to whom I have said, "I love you." These women may just be an hour or two of fancy to you, but to me they are the most beautiful people in my life... in fact, I might not be here writing this without them. Indulge me, if you will. On Labour Day weekend, 2012, I came home from work on the Friday evening and I wasn't feeling well. By Saturday morning I recognized that I was having a heart issue but having had issues in the past, I put it down to stress and a touch of angina. By Monday I wasn't any better. On Tuesday, a CERB member and a CERB provider came to my house and demanded that I go to emergency; they took me. I was admitted and indeed the stress and angina were a bit more serious than I had imagined. I had, in the preceding 3 days, a level 3 cardiac infarction. In layman's terms - I had a major heart attack. Over the next week in hospital, I had daily visits from a number of providers and members who genuinely care about me. A CERB member left work early to come pick me up on the day of my discharge from hospital. At home, these same members and providers had filled my fridge, filled my prescriptions and helped lift my spirits during my period of recovery. They knew I was not in any financial shape to compensate them in monetary fashion; they did it because they are magnificent human beings. I won't give you the names of these people. I wish I could, but that would be a bit of a disservice. They didn't do it for accolades or compensation, they did it because they cared for me... they love me and they know that I love them. CERB is the ideal venue in that regard. The no-negativity foundation may be frustrating at times - but I will say this: You have no idea of how beautiful the members and providers here are. The physical beauty is a given - the beauty of the person behind that veneer is the hidden treasure on this board. I am not ashamed to state publicly my love for my friends here. I will defend them with every fibre of my fabric. They are providers only by occupation but first and foremost, they are some of the most magnificent human beings that I have ever encountered. If I can only make one visceral statement here, one that comes from my gut... I ask, no... I demand that you treat my loved ones as you would treat your own. I will be back... there is so much more to add!

Couldn't have said it better myself PassionVitto! truly delicious!

same as above, the words in the title don't really do too much for me. Much more interested in the person sounding intelligent and can get her message across. I will say i do like witty ones, such as Emily J, Isabella Gia, Gabriella and Nathalie's...def get my attention, all come across as funny and smart.

Was there an older lady who worked at Maureens, I believe her name was Joanne? Does anyone know where she might be?

I find it very scary that you are suggesting that when a woman becomes a sex worker, she gives up her right to consent. You can't compare the services of sex workers to Home Depot. We are sharing a very intimate part of ourselves with you and often even letting you inside our bodies. Women have the right to say no, and it's not up to you or anyone else to determine when it's okay or not okay to say no. Her body, her choice! I'll admit I discriminate and for very good reasons. I tend to avoid people my age, mainly because I don't want to bump into people I know. I also discriminate based on language. I only take clients who can speak English comfortably and I do not care what their first language is. Communication is extremely important to a good encounter together. In the past, I've seen clients whose English is questionable and there was confusion about rates and boundaries. It can be quite scary when you try to communicate your boundaries, but they don't understand! I won't deny it's discrimination BUT (don't be too shocked) people (and yes sex workers and women are people too) have the right to discriminate when choosing who to be sexually intimate with! Would you hold hobbiests to the same standard? Many hobbiests are attracted to one race over another, to a particular age group, and I've noticed that some Francophones prefer escorts that are also Francophone. Would you criticize, for example, a man who has a preference for women with an "exotic" look for booking sessions with women who match his preference? Would you criticize an English-speaking man for preferring women whose first language is English? If a man prefers mature women, should he be forced to see younger SP's or MA's, just so he doesn't "discriminate"??

I'm going to try really hard to keep this within if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. As a woman she has the choice to do whatever she wants. If that involves escorting that means she still has free will and choice. Just because somebody sells their body for sex doesn't mean that they are available for anyone with cash or involved in some sort of sexual slavery. For a lot of women on CERB its not all about money. That's what makes them top notch escorts. I find your statement really disturbing. Posted via Mobile Device