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Providers offering a discount or anything special in exchange for a recommendation are breaking the rules of Lyla. Recommendations & positive reviews should come naturally, if the SP is paying for them they are SHILL (fake) and not warranted. Guys... please report any post or comment where a provider offers a discount of any kind in exchange for a recommendation. We don't want fake recommendations here (it does none of you any good). Providers should earn the recommendation naturally. Thank you for understanding! Lyla xx

In April I found out that I have cancer and the prognosis was not good. I had known for a while that something was wrong, but being the person I am, I just shrugged it off as being over 40 and not a big deal. Clearly it was. Instead of dealing with the issue at hand and informing those I care about and love, I decided to keep things to myself. When I finally started to tell those people depression and anger had set in to my heart. It had become obvious to those around me that I was no longer myself, the positive attitude and sense of humour were gone. I was trying to push those I love and care about away so I could be left alone. I was a fool! After telling my father of the situation, he realized that darkness and despair had filled my heart. He flew over here on Friday to spend a solid couple of days with me. Knowing this I thought it was time to tell him everything about my life since I left home at 18 and joined the Royal Navy. He has always been a pillar of strength in my life, there to listen and never judge. I am sure there are things that I told him over the last couple of days that he never wanted to hear, but he never wavered and just listened. This morning as I told the last of what I wished to tell him, he put that gigantic paw of his on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said..."get your goddamn head out of your bleeping ass"!!!! He's right!!! After more words of wisdom from my father, I realize now that it is time to enter the fight. I want to say I am sorry to those I care about and love, I should have been stronger from the start and told you the situation. That was my mistake. Thanks to my father I have my positive attitude back and sense of humour. I do not want anyone's sympathy, for it is an emotion that commandos have little value in. What I want is for people to smile and laugh, that is what gives me strength and always has. Though there will be times where I will obviously not be around while I deal with certain things, those of you who I am in contact with and consider to be my friends will know the situation and where I am. I will not keep you in the dark any longer. Now to leave this on a funny note. ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DdeLUA0Fms http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLpO-OvJU74 Spud271

Ok, so I am the worst at giving directions. Don't ever let me give you direction, (please, for your safety). I will always tell you to go the wrong way especially if that is the first time I have been there (well, actually even if I go there a thousand times a day). You know how some people will say "you know where the "old "library" used to be - (insert specific place")? I am sorry, but I don't know where the "new" library is, so don't ask me where the old library is. So, I am constantly saying "no, your other left". I begin to ask myself. Might I be giving wrong directions? No, I am certain that I am giving the correct instructions (he he), but why do I keep saying "no, your other left?" BTW, I am not dyslexic, but it seems that others simply don't follow my directions. Have you heard about the dyslexic prostitute? Apparently she cooks sock. Ponder that for a while. Got an urge to go do some laundry. xoxo

I list services on my website so that you have an idea of what I will or won't offer. It doesn't necessarily mean that I do all those things all in one appointment. It just means that they're available if the client is interested. My sessions are still very much go-with-the-flow despite the fact that I do have a "menu" as it were.

I was not going to respond to the comments on this thread but it got the better of me. First of all I never said it was a RMT. I said "legit" massage place. There are tons of these places out that advertise massage in a spa setting. I would never go the a strict massage therapy place expecting or even hoping to get anything extra. I am positive that it doesn't happen due to all the schooling and licensing and such. Its not worth the risk for these places which makes sense. I went to this place again and it escalated from my previous experience. I honestly think she just may like me because I have never tipped a lot to this particular attendant. This last time it was half a massage and half sensually playing with each other. Me obviously naked and her with her pants down and tits out. It was by far the best experience I have had in this hobby. I did not know it was going to go that far and for me that is a lot of the experience. I will now be responding to a few of the pms I have gotten. Really only the users that I know wont flood this establishment.

To qualify my post above: The vast majority of girls at the PM are honest, but recently I collided with a scammer -- Bella. There may be more than one Bella, but this one is light blonde with fair skin, nice rack, thin, lots of tattoos with writing. She claimed to have danced more songs than she actually did, and demanded extra money. Don't you just hate that . . . A number of other strange comments led me to think she is off-centre or bitter about something. Careful you do not end up the next target, suggest you avoid this one!

Hello Boys Schedule Wednesday August 7th 10:00am - 5:30pm Thursday August 8th 10:00am - 7:00pm Friday August 9th 3:30pm - 11:00pm .Angels Touch. .65 Bentley Ave, Nepean. Contact ME Txt 613-277-4328 Phone 613-274-7073 or just PM me Here!! Quote of the Day Knowledge is Knowing a Tomato is a FRUIT.... Wisdom is not putting it in a Fruit Salad

Hello Gentlemen, I'm Lana, a genuinely Seductive, Classy and extremely Sexy Massage Therapist who specializes in Swedish & Prostate massage. Indulge in my sweet sensuality and you will melt with my touch guaranteed! I am formally trained in the "Art Of Massage" so you can always expect a quality massage experience underlying the more erotic overtones of your sessions. I am a stunning 5'3" with curves in all the right places. I am 35 years, 36DD-25-36 with red hair and green eyes you can't help but get lost in. My massage sessions are always the perfect blend of therapy and sensuality. My Erotic Encounters are tailored to your unique needs and desires... Relax in my brand new upscale incall location equipped with every luxury accommodation. Massages are given in a private room on a comfortable, professional, massage table with clean, crisp, white linens with unscented oils to maintain your dis-cretion. My quiet discreet location is filled with candle-lit ambiance and soothing music to help set the mood. I will give you a hot towel that I can clean you up with at the end of our session while maintaining your relaxed state. Sounds heavenly doesn't it? So just imagine yourself lying on my table after a hot soothing shower... soft music and candle light fill the room. Suddenly, a beautiful young woman enters and begins to massage your every stress away with her silky smooth hands. All the while you have a lovely visual image of a firm curvaceous body with big soft supple breasts. Our hands begin to wander, exploring each other's bodies....where will this end? Only YOU can decide! More Erotic Encounters are available to a small group repeat guests as I like to ensure that we are both having a great time together. Do we have the chemistry it takes to make an Erotic Encounter unforgettable? Let's find out! Don't Forget To Ask About My VIP Package No Block Calls / Serious Gentlemen Only/ Gentlemen Over 30 My Availabiltiy This Week Tuesday August 6 : 11am - 10pm Wednesday August 7 : 11am - 9pm Thursday August 8 : 11am - 9pm Friday August 9 _ 11am - 10pm Email me or text me for a booking 613-410-7090 http://www.puresensualpleasures.com

She is Chinese

I'm fairly good with directions, but if I'm having that much trouble I just let the lady put it in the right hole.

Thanks Luckyme for setting the record straight. Yes, my comment about being too young to die was my attempt at humour. Thanks also to Peachy for showing concern for my well being. I am doing well. Hmmmm "death by pussy" .... Not a bad way to go out when your time is up I say. Cheers to all.

I'm sure some ladies would appreciate this, but I think this thread is for pictures of people with penises

I think part of the problem is that people assume if they can't smell themselves then no one else can either. Obviously it's always better to freshen up, regardless. Also, my laugh of the morning:

Vanessa is a great new addition to the MGF traveling line up. She has a great smile and has a look that is reminiscent of Emma from MGF. Vanessa is brand new to MGF and to escorting though she has worked before at massage in Montreal. Even though this was her first day escorting she is not shy (I was the shy one) and she is sexually adventurous as this was a GFE that bordered on PSE. She is french but speaks english very well. I'm looking forward to seeing her again the next time she is in town.

Hi all! I am new to this board and to Canada in general (coming from Eastern Europe and travelling / living in US for a time), and I am amazed at how much help and good advice I am getting. Looking forward to using this knowledge when meeting many beautiful ladies. See you soon, Dave.

Don't think it came up properly. Let me give it a try

Congratulations on your 500 Posts ... and keep posting and sharing wit us! xo V

Tuesday Lexi 10-5:30 aka "Sexy Lexi" Jenna 10-4 aka "Jenna69" Taylor 10-4 aka "Taylor_xo" Nicky 10-4 aka "Nicky in Paradise" Jamie 3:30-11 aka "Jamie-xo" Erin 3:30-11 NEW aka "Sensual Erin" Jennie 5-11 aka "ASTONISHING JENNIE" Website for your convience with pics & schedule of ladies www.angelstouchmassage.ca 3 rooms, up to 8 sexy ladies on daily! Private Dance shows available upon request! Click here to see NEW pics of room: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=3340 New Sexy Pics of our Hotties http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=52117 Full Body Relaxation Massage Single Massage: 30 minutes $50. 45 minutes $60. 60 minutes $80. Couples Massage: 1 Attendant 30 minute $60. 45 minute $70. 60 minute $90. Duo/Couples Massage:2 Attendants 30 minute regular $100. on special for $80. 45 minute regular $120. on special for $100. 60 minute regular $160. on special for $130. HST included in door fee prices. Longer Sessions available and @ Discretion of MA ...... Tips Accepted...... ATM on site......Spacious Rooms with Private Showers...... Jennie Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=A&t=79946 Erin's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=S&t=43994 Jamie Discussions http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=104412 & http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=J&t=114727

41 Your lady has agreed to come to your home. You tell her when she gets there, that you have to go to the downstairs bedroom, because your wife is sleeping upstairs. You wonder why she left. I mean, you know your wife sleeps like a log and won't hear you. This is never ok. Please don't ever book a lady and neglect to let her know before hand that you are not alone. Same as your "friend" hiding in the closet. Never cool. 42 Your lady comes to see you. After rocking your world, she goes to the bathroom to freshen up. She sees there are no towels or soap there. There is a crusty dried up towel on the floor, but nope, not a single clean towel for her to use. You might not mind using that crappy towel on the floor, but I can assure you, she does not. Make sure there are clean towels for her to use. 43 So, you are having a great time with your lady. She puts a condom on you, and you are going at it and it feels so great. You decide it will feel even better if you unwrap your manhood and take the condom off and tell her "can I put it in for a sec?". She says no, gets another condom, you ask again. She again says no, and actually pushes you off her. Goes into the bathroom and comes out fully clothed. You are like "WTF", I paid you for the time. In case you didn't get it the first time, don't ever take a condom off if the lady put one on you. When you take it off so "you can put it in for a sec", you stepped over the boundaries. Why would she have put a condom on you if she wanted to do it without? This is probably the biggest issue providers face it seems. It happens all the time, and guys just don't get it. IMO, there is NO AMOUNT of money in the world that makes it worth taking the risk. If she says no, respect that. And sneaking the condom off while she doesn't know, is not consent, so therefore sexual assault.

Lmfao! Wow he literally was going to the wrong hole!

Spud, thank you for sharing. Sending you strong fighting angels to keep you safe and loved. Stay strong and fight this battle. Your father sounds like an amazing man, and I am glad you had a good visit. xoxo

I can vouch for her and say she is the real deal and is much better in the flesh then even her pics portray her. I had a wonderful time when she was here last and she was advertising as mya on bp last time she was here tho. Cheers!

I wish you nothing but success in the challenges you will be facing. Good luck with this Spud.

Everones interests, attractions and budgets are different. It is always best to ask for recommendations on ladies (specific) to your interests or most members will ignore your post. You bumped this post with "You mean nobody knows one???" So i took the time to educate you as to why no one replied.

I do understand you situation, I have been there many times before....I JUST MOVED HERE LAST WEEK, I REALLY DO NOT KNO WHAT YOU MEAN BY THE STORE THAT IS NO LONGER A STORE!! hahahaha I always am amazed at the responds that they have read my ad, but yet do not know I have only been here for one day... Same as when in BIG CAPS I state I am available for Tuesday, and yet I have request for Sunday eve, lol... You have to realize that some people just get too excited or just had one beer too many to read the ad in it's entirety! hahahha In this case...pass it by, and hope that they will contact you in a better frame of mind, :) or .... NOT AT ALL! hahahha..

Another story has worked it's way from my imagination to paper. This was release of some pent up need. I hope you enjoy! :twisted: http://midnitemassage.tumblr.com/

To paraphrase Christopher Walken-don't just fight it, kick its ass!

Let's spoil each other as many times as we can! Body to body slides never felt so good. Extremely Intense and Erotic... It's within my genuine nature! I'm for grabs this week Tuesday to Friday 10am to 7pm. You Ultimate Nuru Sensualist... Getting slippery when wet is my specially or relax and enjoy the perfect relaxation massage. Everything is better in bed, come join me in mine! Like what you see? Our meeting starts from the moment you contact me! Yours truly, Jess xoxox Call: 613-482-1553 Text: 613-909-8336 Email: [email protected] Click Here to Book Online and Check Availability

its not working because your link is for a website, not an image... you have to right click the image you want from the web, the same you would if you were going to "save as" except that instead of "save as" select "copy image URL" The URL is what goes into to the little box :)

I found some vintage Nicki pics I had thought I had lost. Hmmm, good idea for a retro album.

I think andflemcol is joking because in his post he says " An ad that is a bit more on the conservative side is a bit more intriguing for me than an ad that says something like, "I want to fuck you till you die". Obviously, he doesn't want to be F*..ed by a SP till he dies, lol.

Congrats Piano, keep up the good work.

Keep the posts coming!

I have always felt fairly conflicted about listing specific services (menu style). It really takes away from the spontaneity of the encounter IMHO. Personally, everything is YMMV with my guests depending on a variety of factors (hygiene, trust, comfort level, length of the encounter, how long I've known the client, etc.). I do have some hard limits and those are listed on my website.

Congratulations Piano! Keep em' coming!

Congrats Piano on your 500 posts! I enjoy reading your contributions here on the board, and I look forward to reading many more.

Congrats - enjoy reading your posts and looking forward to many more!

+1 Congrats!

Good thing I do my workouts at home... if I did go to the gym, I'd probably get kicked out for being a creeper! RAWR! I could watch men workout and sweat ALL DAY! <3

Yup! I do! I am sometimes on b p, and I think I will be resuming full-time hours (to be confirmed this coming week) after being available only on evening and weekends. Tentatively, I will say, beginning this Tuesday, full-time Zoe returns! I will confirm that officially once I know for sure:) Best contact is via email: [email protected] or phoning at 204-260-5737 (please no texting) xoxo

I fell asleep past midnight and woke up at 2:30 after having a part 2 dream about Lee Richards! ;)

25. The Incall. You finally get your greatest wish. Today's the day you are seeing Alotta Fagina. Sweet Jeebus. You have abstained from fondling your manly bits for 26 hours in anticipation of this glorious event, beating your old record by ... umm... pretty much 26 hours. Man you love your wiener. You have followed all posted rules and etiquette. You booked your appointment by her preferred method of contact, you have the envelope containing the exact amount for your encounter, you have groomed yourself, you smell good, you feel healthy... heck you even went to Alotta's website and purchased a gift card for her from her favourite vendor, Magical Walid's House of Middle Eastern Cheese. You are soooooo good to go. You arrive at the destination five minutes before your appointment and knock on her door at precisely 2:00 pm. You sir, are a rock star. You enter her home. You are now stepping foot into Villa Fagina. It's beautiful. Tastefully decorated, the house is a testament to the woman that you have lusted after since joining CERB. Uh oh. Nerves. You know what happens when the nerves hit. Pee pee. You must make a pee pee. Maintaining your suave demeanour, you saunter over to Alotta and say in your sexiest voice, "Alotta, my glamourous minx, purveyor of pleasures of the flesh, my near naked nymph. I gotta pee. Where's the potty?" Alotta directs you to your destination. You enter the bathroom and come face to face with your personal demon. Her medicine cabinet. What to do. I KNEW I should have read that whole thread. If I open her cabinet, will I be struck down with penis cooties??? Good GODS... what would Old Dog do??? Empowered by his love for the super friends, a spectral image of Old Dog appears straight from his crystal cavern in the depths of downtown Ottawa: You hear an awesomely wicked voice saying, "Open that cabinet and I will give you penis cooties. Use your head. Be a happy hobbyist. Respect her privacy. Oh... and remember to wash your hands really well and put that seat back down after you flush." It's not rocket science. You are at her place of business for a very good reason. That reason is not to invade her privacy - follow her to her boudoir and be happy. Alotta Fagina has given you access to her sensuality, not her stuff. 26. Serial Texting You want to see her. She is soooooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOooooo freakin' HAWT. You have everything prepared. You think, "I'm gonna get laid tonight, I'm gonna get laid tonight." You do a happy dance. It's a little disconcerting. Even to you. You stop and vow never to repeat the "anticipating getting laid" dance again. You see she accepts texts. So that's what you do. You: Hey BB (1:39 pm) Her: Oh, hi. (1:41 pm) You: Hey BB (1:42 pm) Her: Oh, Hi again. (1:44 pm) You: Hey BB (1:45 pm) Her: Ummm, Hi again, again. (1:49 pm) You: Hey BB, yer pretty. (1:50 pm) Her: Ummm thanks. (1:55 pm) You: Yer pretty. I have a boner. (1:56 pm) Her: Ummmmm, that's nice. Is there a point you are trying to make. (2:10 pm) You: Yer pretty, I still have a boner. (2:11 pm) Her: Okay. It's nice that that happens for you. Do I know you? (2:42 pm) You: Hey BB. My boner is still there. You have nice boobs. (2:43 pm) Her: I do have nice boobs. Thank you. (3:20 pm) You: I lost my boner but got another one. I like your boobs alot. (3:21 pm) Her: That's really, umm, nice of you to say. You know "alot" is actually two words. Was there something that you needed to ask? (4:12 pm) You: I lost my second boner but got another one again. Yer HAWT. You have a great ass. (4:13 pm) Her: Oh thanks again. Will you please stop sending me texts? (5:22 pm) You: I have my fourth boner. (5:23 pm) You: Why won't you ANSWER me? (5:28 pm) You: You are a boner killer. Wait. It's okay. Number 5 just happened. Please answer. (5:33 pm) You: Hey BB (5:38 pm) You: Hey BB (5:43 pm) You: Hey BB (5:51 pm) You: Hey BB, my boner feels weird. (5:53 pm) You: Hey BB, my boner just collapsed in on itself. (5:56 pm) You: Hey BB, the cat just ate my boner. (5:58 pm) You: Bitch, you ruined my life. (6:01 pm) You: On the upside, I have a mangina now. I am going to steal all your business. (6:02 pm) You: On the downside, my mangina is not feeling that great. I hate you. (6:03 pm) You: Answer ME! (6:04 pm) You: You used your super powers didn't you? (6:05 pm) You: My tummy feels weird. Did you give me some kind of virus? (6:06 pm) You: Dammit. All I want to do is listen the Celine Dion now. (6:07 pm) You: You did this. (6:08pm) You: I'm sorry (6:09 pm) You: This is my last text to you. (6:10 pm) You: No, this is my last text. (6:11 pm) You: :( There we have it. Serial texters get penis cooties and listen to Celine Dion. It's a true fact, as witnessed above.

I suspended access to the shout box to new UNMODERATED members at this time. The reason for this is we have a few people who get banned and come back with a new moderated account and are still able to post in the shoutbox (ads or crap no one wants on cerb) so the only way to stop this is to disable the shoutbox to new MODERATED members. Once a member has been on cerb for 5 days and has at least 5 posts the shout box will open for them to post. This is a good incentive to post too!

Actually it's not a review board, it's a recommendation board As for the question, it is really subjective, not objective, as what is best to one guy may not be the best to another guy RG