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Providers offering a discount or anything special in exchange for a recommendation are breaking the rules of Lyla. Recommendations & positive reviews should come naturally, if the SP is paying for them they are SHILL (fake) and not warranted. Guys... please report any post or comment where a provider offers a discount of any kind in exchange for a recommendation. We don't want fake recommendations here (it does none of you any good). Providers should earn the recommendation naturally. Thank you for understanding! Lyla xx

In April I found out that I have cancer and the prognosis was not good. I had known for a while that something was wrong, but being the person I am, I just shrugged it off as being over 40 and not a big deal. Clearly it was. Instead of dealing with the issue at hand and informing those I care about and love, I decided to keep things to myself. When I finally started to tell those people depression and anger had set in to my heart. It had become obvious to those around me that I was no longer myself, the positive attitude and sense of humour were gone. I was trying to push those I love and care about away so I could be left alone. I was a fool! After telling my father of the situation, he realized that darkness and despair had filled my heart. He flew over here on Friday to spend a solid couple of days with me. Knowing this I thought it was time to tell him everything about my life since I left home at 18 and joined the Royal Navy. He has always been a pillar of strength in my life, there to listen and never judge. I am sure there are things that I told him over the last couple of days that he never wanted to hear, but he never wavered and just listened. This morning as I told the last of what I wished to tell him, he put that gigantic paw of his on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and said..."get your goddamn head out of your bleeping ass"!!!! He's right!!! After more words of wisdom from my father, I realize now that it is time to enter the fight. I want to say I am sorry to those I care about and love, I should have been stronger from the start and told you the situation. That was my mistake. Thanks to my father I have my positive attitude back and sense of humour. I do not want anyone's sympathy, for it is an emotion that commandos have little value in. What I want is for people to smile and laugh, that is what gives me strength and always has. Though there will be times where I will obviously not be around while I deal with certain things, those of you who I am in contact with and consider to be my friends will know the situation and where I am. I will not keep you in the dark any longer. Now to leave this on a funny note. ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DdeLUA0Fms http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLpO-OvJU74 Spud271

Ok, so I am the worst at giving directions. Don't ever let me give you direction, (please, for your safety). I will always tell you to go the wrong way especially if that is the first time I have been there (well, actually even if I go there a thousand times a day). You know how some people will say "you know where the "old "library" used to be - (insert specific place")? I am sorry, but I don't know where the "new" library is, so don't ask me where the old library is. So, I am constantly saying "no, your other left". I begin to ask myself. Might I be giving wrong directions? No, I am certain that I am giving the correct instructions (he he), but why do I keep saying "no, your other left?" BTW, I am not dyslexic, but it seems that others simply don't follow my directions. Have you heard about the dyslexic prostitute? Apparently she cooks sock. Ponder that for a while. Got an urge to go do some laundry. xoxo

I list services on my website so that you have an idea of what I will or won't offer. It doesn't necessarily mean that I do all those things all in one appointment. It just means that they're available if the client is interested. My sessions are still very much go-with-the-flow despite the fact that I do have a "menu" as it were.

I was not going to respond to the comments on this thread but it got the better of me. First of all I never said it was a RMT. I said "legit" massage place. There are tons of these places out that advertise massage in a spa setting. I would never go the a strict massage therapy place expecting or even hoping to get anything extra. I am positive that it doesn't happen due to all the schooling and licensing and such. Its not worth the risk for these places which makes sense. I went to this place again and it escalated from my previous experience. I honestly think she just may like me because I have never tipped a lot to this particular attendant. This last time it was half a massage and half sensually playing with each other. Me obviously naked and her with her pants down and tits out. It was by far the best experience I have had in this hobby. I did not know it was going to go that far and for me that is a lot of the experience. I will now be responding to a few of the pms I have gotten. Really only the users that I know wont flood this establishment.

To qualify my post above: The vast majority of girls at the PM are honest, but recently I collided with a scammer -- Bella. There may be more than one Bella, but this one is light blonde with fair skin, nice rack, thin, lots of tattoos with writing. She claimed to have danced more songs than she actually did, and demanded extra money. Don't you just hate that . . . A number of other strange comments led me to think she is off-centre or bitter about something. Careful you do not end up the next target, suggest you avoid this one!

Hello Boys Schedule Wednesday August 7th 10:00am - 5:30pm Thursday August 8th 10:00am - 7:00pm Friday August 9th 3:30pm - 11:00pm .Angels Touch. .65 Bentley Ave, Nepean. Contact ME Txt 613-277-4328 Phone 613-274-7073 or just PM me Here!! Quote of the Day Knowledge is Knowing a Tomato is a FRUIT.... Wisdom is not putting it in a Fruit Salad

Hello Gentlemen, I'm Lana, a genuinely Seductive, Classy and extremely Sexy Massage Therapist who specializes in Swedish & Prostate massage. Indulge in my sweet sensuality and you will melt with my touch guaranteed! I am formally trained in the "Art Of Massage" so you can always expect a quality massage experience underlying the more erotic overtones of your sessions. I am a stunning 5'3" with curves in all the right places. I am 35 years, 36DD-25-36 with red hair and green eyes you can't help but get lost in. My massage sessions are always the perfect blend of therapy and sensuality. My Erotic Encounters are tailored to your unique needs and desires... Relax in my brand new upscale incall location equipped with every luxury accommodation. Massages are given in a private room on a comfortable, professional, massage table with clean, crisp, white linens with unscented oils to maintain your dis-cretion. My quiet discreet location is filled with candle-lit ambiance and soothing music to help set the mood. I will give you a hot towel that I can clean you up with at the end of our session while maintaining your relaxed state. Sounds heavenly doesn't it? So just imagine yourself lying on my table after a hot soothing shower... soft music and candle light fill the room. Suddenly, a beautiful young woman enters and begins to massage your every stress away with her silky smooth hands. All the while you have a lovely visual image of a firm curvaceous body with big soft supple breasts. Our hands begin to wander, exploring each other's bodies....where will this end? Only YOU can decide! More Erotic Encounters are available to a small group repeat guests as I like to ensure that we are both having a great time together. Do we have the chemistry it takes to make an Erotic Encounter unforgettable? Let's find out! Don't Forget To Ask About My VIP Package No Block Calls / Serious Gentlemen Only/ Gentlemen Over 30 My Availabiltiy This Week Tuesday August 6 : 11am - 10pm Wednesday August 7 : 11am - 9pm Thursday August 8 : 11am - 9pm Friday August 9 _ 11am - 10pm Email me or text me for a booking 613-410-7090 http://www.puresensualpleasures.com

She is Chinese

I'm fairly good with directions, but if I'm having that much trouble I just let the lady put it in the right hole.

Thanks Luckyme for setting the record straight. Yes, my comment about being too young to die was my attempt at humour. Thanks also to Peachy for showing concern for my well being. I am doing well. Hmmmm "death by pussy" .... Not a bad way to go out when your time is up I say. Cheers to all.

I'm sure some ladies would appreciate this, but I think this thread is for pictures of people with penises

I think part of the problem is that people assume if they can't smell themselves then no one else can either. Obviously it's always better to freshen up, regardless. Also, my laugh of the morning:

I've seen this post on kij Relaxation and Deep Tissue Massage posted on July 26. Has anyone Had any luck here?

Finally sorted out my schedule to meet up with Sapphire at Secret Silhouettes...wow...It really was worth the wait. Sapphire is a very intelligent, attractive and extremely talented service provider. I am an incall only kind of guy and I met Sapphire at her incall location, which was clean and smoke free. Sapphire is a sexy full figured woman, a few tasteful tattoos and gorgeous red hair and freckles. Great dfk to start the session followed by the most mind blowing oral treatment that I have ever experienced. Her skills and attitude was simply awesome. We ended up staying oral for the entire session, which was not the plan, but I was totally fine with it. She was totally into daty, so much so that her orgasm was actually one of the highlights of the session. A wonderful hour spent with this lovely new SP!

Yummy yum yum!

LOOKING FOR A LUXURY COMPANION? look no further.. :whipping: You may reach me @613-820-8887 or 613-315-9466 or you can email me directly @ [email protected] Join me for a sensual massage session at our elite upscale location .. .We have a gorgeous hot tub, showers in every room.. and a two person rainfall shower.. that is sure to please.. My no -rush service is sure to leave you feeling pleased and relaxed.. I love reverse massages as well and truly enjoy making my clients happy.. I take extreme pride in my appearance and am always impeccably groomed. You will find me rare unique blend of class,beauty and femininity .I believe in getting to know each one of my clients personally to create a tailored experience.I do my very best to unsure your session is discreet and handled with care. I aim to please!!! I am a passionate woman with incredible sex appeal who enjoys making you the center my world for each of our visits.I am charismatic,sensual and easy going , I believe that possessing these qualities makes me a rare gem!! I strive to leave my clients feeling relaxed and wanting more. My service is for the distinguished ,affluent gentlemen who enjoys the company of and effervescent lady. Lets get to know each other?? HERE FROM 3pm UNTIL 9pm Height:5'7 Bust:34b Eyes:green Hair: blonde/red Nationality: French/Spanish A:A. None It should be open when she brings it to you

Congrats on this milestone!

I have very much enjoyed your input on a variety of subjects and enjoy the different perspective. You can be both serious and playful and are supportive of CERB and our wonderful members. Looking forward to many more!

Hello Gentlemen.. My name is Mandy! I have green eyes, long blonde hair and a killer body... I have been working in the massage industry for 5 months now... My services include sexy body slides, full body massage, reverse massage and lap dances if requested!... I am very easy to talk to and have a great personality... So why not come enjoy my beautiful behind, tight body and 36C natural breasts, you will be sure to leave with a smile :icon_razz: Feel free to check out my profile! You can find me at Paradise Spa, located in the west end of Ottawa... It is an upscale, classy and discreet spa!... Rooms include large mirrors, music, and black lights to intensify your sensual experience... In calls only please Schedule August 3rd - August 6th Tuesday 9am-9pm Wednesday 3:30-9pm Thursday 3:30-9pm Friday 3:30-9pm XOOOXOOOX

Let me start your week with a smile a relaxing yet sensual and steamy massage! I am 5'4, big blue eyes, short dark hair and curvy with tattoos that compliment my body in all the right places!! I will provide you with a sensual massage to get you started. I will follow up with a sexy body slide that will have you wanting more! Satisfying for the eyes and the body!! Then I will let the bubbles lead the trail for my fingers in the shower!! Duos couples body slides showers reverse massage foot fetishes I am here today to heighten you senses today from 10:00AM to 5:30PM at Angel's Touch 613-274-7073, Private Message me or email [email protected] to book Look forward to seeing you http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=6518

Good Morning gentlemen, I'm a young fit MA who loves to massage and can do it for hours. My sensual erotic GFE massage will relieve your tension while I provide you with sexy teasing fun that will lead to an explosion of heavenly pleasure, just tell me what your into.. I'm petite 5'4, athletic 120 lbs, perky b34 bust, dark hair, golden tan, juicy round bum, seductive lips, hazel bedroom eyes and very open minded fun and comfortable to be with.. Join me for some hot steamy fun 613-614-2117 schedule: (Today) 3:30pm-9pm Wednesday: 3:30pm-11pm Thursday: 3:30pm-11pm Friday: 3:30pm-11pm Saturday: 9am-9pm Sunday: 10am-9pm -Sasha xxx

As I said on my previous Post... First off.. make sure you and you SO are in agreement of the lady you want to meet... so pick a few that you both think would like to spend time with... after you have done this preselection process contact each lady diretly and tell her /them what you are looking for... how would you like the session to go... would you like the session to be focused on you, on her, or both... Check if she is comfortable with ladies... or if she rather just see men... Communicate.., dont be afraid of asking.. is better to ask and make sure .. specially being something that you are sharing with your SO.., you want this to be a memorable and enjoyable experience as a couple.. and not an experience that will bring you trouble in the futiure :)

Since a few people asked yesterday, here is the ethos by which Royal Marines live by. Courage, Unity, Determination, Adaptability, Unselfishness, Humility, Cheerfulness, Professional Standards, Fortitude, Commando Humour.

Congratulations! Looking forward to many more!

Yes congratulations on 500 post. The next 500 come much faster. Keep coming back to Chat. Never get tired of looking at those sexy eyes of yours :) and sexy smile :)

Setting your profile to be visible to registered members only seems reasonable. I don't get why you'd want to make it more restrictive than that - after all, if you're going to be part of an online community, it'd make sense to participate, no? However, this is a bit different for the ladies, for whom their profile page and pics are another chance to advertize... so I'd guess keeping it public makes more sense for them.

There is actually a little part in the brain that when smaller, the people have difficulty with left and right. I have this issue and I constantly have to double check myself when giving directions to make sure I'm saying the correct one. It doesn't impact me when driving or doing other things but directions....oh yeah!

I'd prefer to see more information than less. It's nice to be able to just read someone's ad and/or website, book, and show up without having to ask a whole bunch of questions. I like to forget about the commercial aspect of things as much as possible, and I find that having to ask questions detracts from that. Others may differ, of course.

There is a certain romance about melancholy on a day like today. The kind of day that rings with an undertone of mystery and the unknown future. Is it pathetic fallacy of the weather forecast? Or is it found in the stars? What is the driving force behind days like this? I am familiar with this feeling and vibe in autumn, but today I can feel it to my inner core. Yet, I love these days, a melancholic romance that some may mistake for boredom. For a moment you look outside, you see mountainous clouds forming, winds blowing, cooler temperature sweeps in and you ask yourself " is summer over?" It gives us a chance to reflect inward. Can you find comfort in being alone? Are you always search for entertainment and activity? Or are you able to sit quietly and listen to the voice of the winds, the ocean, or the hummmm of the city? Perhaps this is more of a monologue? But I want to hear what instills moments of introspection and reflection for you? Is it seasonal? Can you find romantic connection to your surroundings all by yourself? You may be asking " romance by yourself...???" But like the great romantic poets, or the Hemingway, Joyce and Tom Roberts of our days, they portray a certain romance in anything. Romance of a city, a storm or just being able to relish the quietude we experience on day like today? This day, I sit in reflection and look out my window. I smell the amazing sweet air, ominous clouds that are forming, and just love the feeling that the world that is so much bigger than I. I am humbled by the wonders of our globe...the 3rd rock from the sun. And I am just little me:)

No. I'm really not. So there, we've established that much. I originally found the board when simply looking for ads. I spent some time reading recommendations, but they never really influenced my decisions. My tastes and interests are my own, and eclectic, so I rely on my own instincts and impressions when choosing who to see. You could delete every single recommendation from CERB, and it would not change the board's value to me in the slightest. They have nothing at all to do with why I spend time here, or how I choose my companions; in fact I don't think I've read even one in the last year. When it comes to choosing a companion, I'm much more interested in providers' ads and profiles, and often something intriguing about their participation in the many fascinating threads here. So, having established that recommendations are a trivial feature of CERB for me, here's what I *do* get from the board: information about SPs in several forms, from the providers themselves really interesting discussions about sexuality and the sex-work industry different viewpoints about the industry and the experiences that come with it a fascinating community of interesting people with at least one shared interest, but other than that an incredibly diverse group with wide-ranging discussions that often have nothing at all to do with sex or its industry. On the other hand, I recognize that the recommendations are a big draw for at least some clients who come here (but far from all, as we can see from the poll), and have value for those providers who benefit from them. So I'm glad for those folks. But gee whiz Pete... you've got to recognize that no matter what the board may call itself in its banner, or what those who run or old-time regulars may imagine CERB to be, or have been... others can legitimately value different things from this place. It's cool that you value the recommendations so much. But there's no basis for faulting those who never read them and really don't care about them at all. It's not necessary, or reasonable, to expect that we'd all be "here for the same thing". Plainly your interests are not my interests; the things you value aren't the things I value. But so what? As long as CERB's core business of ads and traffic chugs along, we can each take what we need from this place, and leave others to find value their own way.

Congratulations on reaching 500 posts!!! :D

I am celebrating my birthday tonight. My female friends are covering their boobies of chocolate for me! :D

I believe that the "open" CR is better than stalls with only open fronts. The girls are not so afraid of being surprised by someone they can't see coming down the aisle. Incidentally, Serenity and Adora are generally among the lowest mileage dancers in the PM. Don't judge based only on them. Many dancers seem open to meeting outside the club, which is nice because you get to meet each other in person before making any big plans! And yes many (probably 60% +) girls can give very good dances in the CR but probably not during really busy hours. As mentioned before, the PM is a club for "locals" (like me), as opposed to a big tourist club. So the girls are not always flashy and the environment is relaxed and people are nice. Those who go there tend to be regulars and locals. Obviously from my post you can see that I am a fan

Congrats Piano, as of this writing only two left! Don't keep us in limbo....always a pleasure to read your insight.

I am assuming you are referring to Sexy Wild Hot Brunette 32. She does not show her name in her ad. Her pics do show up on Tineye. If this is not the ad you are asking about, sorry. However, here are some links from Nova Scotia discussions for a Kayla. I don't know if this is the Kayla you are referring to. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=140086&highlight=kayla http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=54308&highlight=kayla http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=3535&highlight=kayla xoxo

Congrats ! Keep them coming your contributions are appreciated:)

Congratulations Piano on your first 500 posts Looking forward to your next 500 posts RG

I still don't understand why guys say things like ....... "I don't put a huge amount of stock into reco's" "I don't bother reading them, I will do my own homework" "I don't use or rely on reco's on this board if I want to see a lady" Now this is not a pissing contest gents, I took some of these comments and simply I am shedding light on this very subject from my point of view. My understanding is that...... We are members on a "RECOMMENDATION BOARD" where the entire process,purpose of the board is to "RECOMMEND" providers to others so they may look them up, chat to them, get a personal feel for the lady. I keep reading comments like above and then wonder, why are we here then for? Play some the game threads? To join social groups? YES YES I understand that in a recommendation written about a lady it is about...... "CHEMISTRY" "YMMV" "PERSONAL TASTE" But seriously when I see a comment like "I don't read the rec's" then why bother being here? Maybe I'm naive, or have put countless rec's within this board and get a little pissed off when I see this type of comment, THEN I get guys asking about lady a) AND lady b) that I have written a rec about. Seriously? SOME DAYS I ASK MYSELF WTF? why did he pm myself asking about two ladys the rec's are right there. THIS is where we are to recommend that you had a great time with A lady OR TWO :), so share your thoughts with others, it is good for her, good for her business, it is flattering to her, could be flattering to YOU as well when she might use your recommendation on her web site!!! When I see this being said, it is one of the reasons why I wonder some are here on the board, other than seeking ladies through advertising and having that opportunity to chat through pm's. Let's say, not ONE LADY IS recommended anymore, AND ALL OF those threads were REMOVED, just how much more searching would some gentleman have to do to find out about a lady? For myself, ya you're dam right I read recommendations, because it interests me, that is why I am here, AREN'T YOU HERE FOR THE SAME THING? I use to write graphic novels in a rec, guess over time and my age, I have refrained from that and write a quick note, in a way thanking the ladies for their time, for those that don't, perhaps it is time you do? Here is a small list of recommendations I had started back from 2008 to 2013....2013 starting at the top. This does not include the rec's I particpated in or added to the lady's existing recommendation. I guess you can see why I would be pissed when I hear "I don't read them" AND YES THAT IS YOUR CHOICE http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=143396 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=60113 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53018 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=122443 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10304 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4150 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28638 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=43994 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=128709 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=32388 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=87872 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=6810 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=103941 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53708 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=94038 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12051 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=49491 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=27403 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=80663 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=43409 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53232 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=71368 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=54447 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53234 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=49215 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=6879 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=15374 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25981 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12056 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28832 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28945 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25872 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=22828 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=17935 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=18445 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=17082 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=11854 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=16213 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=15926 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=5968 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=10041 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4553 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=8048 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=7309 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=7088 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=6044 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4489 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4726 One my fav's as it was fun it has humour and she loved it http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=5108 So thank your provider by posting a rec, or read them you may get more insight. I have yet to vote on this poll yet as I wanted to get this off my chest, as I'm here to enjoy the fine companions of Cerb and those that may tour into our city.

20. Hey Alotta, can we book a 4:20 appointment, get it...420??? Dude. You need pizza. You need nachos. You need a pizza with nachos and KFC. You also need to rethink your priorities. You can't show up to an appointment high or piss drunk. No. You. Can't. That is a no no. People sometimes do silly things when they are under the influence of alcohol and drugs. I, in fact, proposed marriage to a horrible person when I was in such a state. When I recovered, she was Mrs Dog. There is absolutely no irony in that statement - she was a total bitch. You see, just because you like to partake in a herbal vacation on a daily basis, don't assume that your provider does. If you consume liquor in lieu of say... food, you must also make that assumption that your provider might actually eat rather than just drink. You MIGHT think that drugs and alcohol make you sexy. Ummmmm. No. That's a pee stain on the front of your pants. Not. So. Sexy. Bottom line? Drugs and alcohol make people do stupid things. You can do this your friends. You can do this with your family. You can NOT do this with your provider. NEVER show up drunk or stoned. Stupid things could mean dangerous things. Dangerous things are bad. She is already placing herself in a somewhat vulnerable situation, she certainly doesn't need the addition of a chemical additive to make it worse. The other thing, you might actually REMEMBER how wickedly awesome your experience was!!!! 21. Why doesn't she respond? I need to couple with her now!!! Men, as a collective gender, do not take direction well. I admit it. My penis admits it. We like to forge new paths, be trailblazers, and we hate to read stuff. We especially hate to read stuff. Reading stuff is for girls. Girls know that. That's why they force us to read. To humiliate us. To make us appear more stupid than we... wait, we are pretty stupid. Let's face it. Men do things because we think we already know how to do things. Providers are girls. This is their chance to torment us. It's okay though. They will touch our wieners. That makes us happy. We just have to follow instructions.... arrrRRRRRrrrggggh. I hate reading instructions. I love when she touches my wiener. Mental battle..... dammit. Must resist. Nope. Wiener wins.... ALL THE TIME. Okay. Read the instructions. WTF? No PMs??? I have been sitting here with a blue pill induced RAGING erection for 3 hours and she doesn't want me to PM? Oh my god. No wonder I can never see Alotta Fagina. She doesn't take PMs. What else won't she accept? No emails??? No blocked calls, no private numbers??? Guys... when it comes to the hobby, we have to obey the rules. To obey the rules, we actually have to READ the RULES. If we could make our penisisisiesisisis read the rules that would be better, but the one eyed python of love is blind. Big head has to obey. She has preferred methods of contact. Read em. Understand em. Use em. Your wiener will thank you. 22. I suspect you may clone me. May I have my used condom? Dude. Seriously? Do you have like a used condom hall of fame? Guys, no one wants to store your jizz. Alotta Fagina does not have secret contacts with a mad scientist who pays her for your splooge. There is no secret conspiracy to place your spunk at the scene of a major crime. Conspiracy theories are fun... now run back to your basement and get the foil helmet on lickety-split!!! ohhhh.... there's more.

I was walking by a (young) panhandler one day who asked me for some change. I told him" sorry hun, if I had change I would of been on the bus." He laughed and said "that's ok beautiful. Your Sweet smile is charity enough" lol this was a few years ago but its the one I always remember :)

You might consider any one of the following ladies. Although I am unsure of the availability of some. You may also consider reading through the ladies postings in the scheduling area in case I missed someone. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=39030 - Ashley http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=34324 - Meaghan http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=47431 - Amelia http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=27326 - Celina

Common adult industry sex terms, abbreviations, codes, codewords, terminology, acronyms, lingo, and glossary. What does this mean, what is the definition of, as defined in the dictionary, and what do the letters stand for: AAMP = Apartment Asian Massage Parlor. Based in a residential apartment instead of a commercial storefront. ABC = american born chinese ABJ = american born japanese Agency = a company that manages calls, bookings, and advertising for a group of escorts. AMP = Asian Massage Parlor analingus = licking anus Asian = analingus Asian Cowgirl = girl on top, squatting ASP = Adult Service Provider, or alt.sex.prostitution newsgroup ATF = all time favorite ATM = ass to mouth = penis, toy, finger goes from ass to mouth. attempts = trying to orgasm Aunt Flo = menstruation, period B&S = bait and switch = person who shows up is a different one than advertised babyback = petite, young, attractive Asian balloons = breast implants BB = bareback = without condom BJ = blowjob = oral sex = fellatio BBBJ = bare back blow job = BJ without condom BBBJTC = bare back blow job to completion (in mouth) BBBJTCIM = bare back blow job to completion in mouth BBBJTCNQNS = bare back blow job to completion, no quit, no spit BBBJTCWS = bare back blow job to completion with swallow BBBJWF = bare back blow job with facial BBFS = bare back sex BBW = big beautiful woman BCD = behind closed doors BDSM = bondage, discipline, sado-masochism. BF = boy friend BFE = boy friend experience birdwatching = BBBJTCWS BLS = ball licking and sucking Blue Jay = blow job blue pill = Viagra BSB = bus stop babe butter face = everything looks good, but her face BTW = by the way cash and dash = ROB who takes your money and runs CBJ = covered blow job = BJ with condom CC Rider = full service provider costing $200 or less CD = cross dresser CDS = covered doggy style CFS = covered full service = Sex with condom CG = cowgirl = girl on top facing you CH = Crazy Horse, SF Strip Club CIM = cum in mouth CL = craigslist.org CMD = carpet matches drapes, typically a natural blonde CMT = Certified Massage Therapist. A professional masseuse. Cowgirl = CG = girl on top facing you cover = condom cruising = driving around, looking for streetwalkers cups of coffee = releases = orgasms DATO = dining at the o = analingus DATY = dining at the y = cunnilingus DDP = double digit penetration, kitty and anus Dodge = streetwalker stroll: Mission Blvd, between A St and 14th St, in Hayward, CA Doggie = man behind girl, girl on hands and knees donation = payment Doubles = A threesome with two girls and you DDE = doesn't do extras (PS only) DDG = drop dead gorgeous DFK = deep french kissing, open mouth with tongue DIY = do it yourself (masturbation) DP = double penetration, two guys on one girl DT = deep throat, entire length of penis taken in mouth ECR = el camino real EOM = end of message. No text in message body. escort = a temporary companion for hire facial = cumming on partner's face FBSM = full body sensual massage fire and ice = a blowjob switching between hot tea and ice FIV = finger in vagina FKK = Frei K?rper Kultur. German brothel / nudist club. FOB = fresh off the boat. Asian immigrant recently arrived in the US. FOV = finger outside vagina French = BJ French Kiss = Kissing with tongue insertion FS = full service = BJ + Sex Get Brain = blow job Get Comfortable = get completely naked GFE = girlfriend experience. Typically BBBJ, CFS, DFK, DATY, and MSOG GG = Golden Gypsy. defunct, famous Berkeley massage parlor GND = girl next door Greek = anal sex, back door GS = golden shower = urination play GSM = g-spot massage happy ending = A handjob (usually) or blowjob after your massage hardwood floors = clean shaven kitty Hat = condom HDH = high dollar hottie HJ = hand job = a manual / hand release HH = half hour HM = high mileage HME = honeymoon experience, lapdog heaven HWP = height and weight proportionate hooker = prostitute IMHO = in my humble opinion interpreter = condom Italian = penis rubbing between butt cheeks ISO = in search of kitty = vagina Lapdog = person who worships providers to excess. LDL = low dollar looker (opposite of HDH) LE = ellie = law enforcement LK = light kissing, closed mouth LOS = land of smiles = Thailand mamasan = female manager of a massage parlor MBOT = Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre, SF Strip Club MBR = multiple bell ringing = MSOG MILF = mom I'd like to f-ck Mish = missionary position, or the SF Mission District Missionary = man on top, girl on back mohawk = thin rectangular strip of pubic hair MP = massage parlor MP = multiple pops = multiple releases MSC = Market Street Cinema, SF Strip Club MSOG = multiple shots on goal = multiple releases NCT = New Century Theatre, SF Strip Club non-pro = not a professional provider NP = no problem NSA = no strings attached OWO = oral without condom OWOTC = oral without condom to completion papasan = male manager of a massage parlor party hat = condom PIV = penis in vagina PL = Pathetic Loser PO = phone operator (for making appointments) PS = private show (Dance) PSE = Porn Star Experience PV = private viewing (Dance) RA = relaxation assistant raincoat = condom RB = myredbook.com rimming = analingus RMP = Russian Massage Parlor ROB = Rip Off Bitch Reverse cowgirl = RCG = girl on top facing away Reverse massage = you massage her Roman shower = vomit play RPG = role playing games Russian = penis rubbing between breasts = Pearl Necklace = titty fuck SC = Strip Club self-service = you masturbate SF = San Francisco shill = an insider posing as a satisfied customer SO = significant other SOG = shot on goal = one release SOMF = sat on my face south of the border = gential region southern france = BBBJ SP = Service Provider SPA = streetwalker stroll: San Pablo Avenue in Oakland, CA spanish = ATM = ass to mouth spinner = very petite, thin girl STD = sexually transmitted disease stroll = path frequented by street walkers SW = street walker TAMP = Therapeutic Asian Massage Parlor teabag = man squats and dips balls in partner's mouth TG = transgender TGTBT = too good to be true Tina = crystal meth TJ = Tijuana TL = Tenderloin district, San Francisco. between Van Ness Ave, Post St, Taylor St, and Golden Gate Ave TLD = topless lap dance tossing salad = analingus Troll = rude and hideous PL Trolling = Posting thinly disguised ads in a discussion forum TOFTT = Take one for the team. In reference to a new, non-reviewed provider. TS = transexual TUMA = tongue up my ass TV = transvestite UTF = Untranslated French = BBBJ UTR = under the radar WTF = What the fuck? (I'm rather surprised by this) XOXO = Kisses & Hugs YMMV = Your mileage may vary. Your service level could be different than reported by others. Applies to everyone, some more so than others. 1/2 and 1/2 = half and half = oral sex + full service 411 = seeking information 420 = 4:20 = marijuana 69 = two people giving each other oral sex at the same time $ = $100 $$ = $200 $$$ = $300 $$$.5 = $350 (get it?) incall = You go to her place, or a place she designates. outcall = She comes to your place, home, hotel room. two call system = For incall locations. Your first call is to set up the time and get the general directions on where to park. Your second call is made when you arrive to get the specific address / room number.