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With recent postings, I thought I'd put this thread out there. Just to let the ladies know that us guys, love (no, not that type of love LOL) and adore you all. You provide us with companionship, intimacy and sex. You don't ask or expect any strings. You provide an escape for us for a few hours. Most of us guys adore you and respect you. I think I'm safe speaking for most of the guys because most of us are gentlemen. The few bad apples I hope are few. Just thought I'd post that so you don't think your unappreciated, we very much appreciate and respect each and every one of you. And posted in the spirit of positivity RG

IMO, this is a very silly comparison. CERB is not better then POF & POF is not better then CERB. They are two totally different things. I don't even think they are even comparable. CERB is great, and I'm not going to explain why, we all know why. POF is great too though, and I'm not saying because POF will get you "pussy" as the original poster called it. I know many couples who have dated for years now and are very happy, and they have met thru POF. POF can be a great/alternative way to meet other people if you are sick of the bar scene or you just don't get too many chances to meet people of the opposite sex. I'm not sure why the debate is brought up that sex with an escorts is the same as sex on a date, because you pay for dinner? That stuff shouldn't even matter, sex is sex. The person who takes a girl to dinner and gets sex, is just that, a guy who gets sex. And the same thing about a guy who pays an escort to have sex, he's just a guy who gets sex. Neither gentlemen is less of a person, and just because they each had different "means" to get sex, means either guy is better then the other one. To each their own, it shouldn't even be a comparison. Long story short, just be happy you're having sex, and stop bragging about it or comparing it. Sex is unique, and will never be something you can compare.

I think everyone needs a breather here and go get laid...:wink:

Dear ones . . . remember?

Pay for one time sex Or Pay for dinner and have sex as many times without paying for it Posted via Mobile Device

I waited for a cool down time, took a break from here and thought this through and through. My comment about 'f*cking cat' was about how pictures of cats were being posted in many threads, which had nothing to do with the original thread. Phaedrus in fact posted a photo in this thread as well(page 9) his comment was... "Bait... taken. See what complaining gets you? :smile: " He was very correct. As for my comment quoted below, was it necessary for me to throw the f-bomb with cats?? I apologize for the f-bomb, people that really know me know that I don't use that language all the time. I also found it interesting, that some that made comments in this thread about using bad language, or different words to describe woman's parts are members and had already joined a social group prior to this thread....makes you wonder. But to each their own. Castle a little marketing for your group.... http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/group.php?groupid=88 If it came across or apparently that I hate cats, that is not the case, never has been, and those that know me well, know that I'm a animal lover. In fact I bought someone some house warming gifts, for her new place that had to do with cats, so the f-ing cats was meant for hi-jacking threads only. I had said to you once before meeting you face to face at your place(twice)Erin, with your cats, I did in fact tell you I had a cat for 21 years before she had to be put down, because of a tumor. So to those animal lovers, I should not of said fucking cats, I should of said 'those bad puddy cats' are in wrong threads! Yes we have all shown our true colors. Thanks!

Life is not simple, nor should people think it is. People went through the depression in the 20s and had it more difficult than anyone has today. However, we live in period where instant gratification is available and somewhat expected. Many of the youth today have had it fairly easy, while others see no hope. I do believe that people have opportunity if they want and are willing to work for it. There is no justification in rioting and trying to find a rational reason for it. I find it inexcusable and we should not go looking for a reason to condone the actions of the individuals.

Well where to begin? How to begin? My mind is still racing and my heart still pumping AND it has been more than four hours since I left the company of Amelia R. in Halifax. Well for those of you who don't know Amelia R. is a young, fit and oh so very sexy young lady who travels to Saint John, Fredericton and now apparently Halifax. My day began, actually it began last week when I read she was going to be in the HRM today. Needless to say I quickly contacted her to initiate conversation. After a brief message or two a day/time was agreed upon and then came the "other messages" consisting of what was going to happen during our encounter. Keep in mind she was asking me...I never had to make a suggestion yet (well maybe one...okay two). Anyway after we established our likes, dislikes, wants, needs and special requests all I had to do was wait 4 days for Monday to arrive. Fast forward a few days to find that I survived the four day period with nothing on my mind but "how is Monday with Amelia going to go???" During the drive to Halifax the same thought of "I wonder how things are gonna go?" After I arrived at her hotel she quickly and very accurately provided her room info. She even included the best route to the elevator (A nice touch, yes). For all I was only going up a few floors it felt like I was going to the top of Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower). Next came "The Moment" or the knock on the door...WOW! What greeted me was a tall, slender sexy young woman dressed like someone out of a lingerie catalog! Black stockings, garters complete with belt, sexy criss crossed spaghetti top of some sexy sort and a wicked smile. I didn't know if I should stare, smile, say hi or scream hallelujah! So I did all four...I think. As I entered her room I was attempting to watch where I was going but all I was really looking at was her. As I removed my coat I turned and found her already comfortable on the bed staring at me (amazing bedroom eyes). "You aren't what I expected" were the next words she spoke to me as I stared intently at her figure. She then told me to take those words as a compliment, which of course I did. After some extended conversation, touching and caressing the physical fun began. Mental fun being what was happening up until this point. "Why don't you take off your clothes" I heard her say as I attempted to maintain my composure. What happened next made this mans eyes roll back in his head... Sorry, as usual the juicy details are kept to myself. So I suggest if you want to find out what happened you should contact Amelia R. herself. I am sure she would be happy to book you in and show you the time she showed me earlier today! Thanks for a great day my new friend.

A male friend of mine (purely platonic) exited a relationship not too long ago, and has confided in me that he is finding it very difficult to go from regular sex to no sex. In fact, he's been complaining about this for some time now. He knows what I do, and I suggested to him he contact an escort and even suggested Berlin (she is totally his type). He has the financial means to do so. He informed me that he "wasn't desperate enough to pay for it". Meanwhile he continues to complain about his situation while doing nothing to change it. With all the negativity that I've noted on the board lately, I wanted to throw out something positive and that's that I admire hobbiests for knowing what they want and going for it!

I would dare say that if more guys "just got it done" there would likely be far less negativity not just on the board but everywhere.

No, the woman did not say you were sexist or a woman basher. She simply bemoaned your mother's inability to help you learn to respect women. With the continues fixation on sex and pussy in your replies, I can see how that might have gotten misconstrued. Oh, the reason everyone is so "cotdamn sensitive"? Probably because you are not. The OP of this thread is offensive on so many levels. "Fellas"? I'm male but do not presume that all males on CERB hold women in such low esteem as is suggested in the initial premise. Maybe "fellas" think providing food to a woman gives a man the right to access their bodies. Mature men know better. The continues reference to "pussy" as a synonym for woman suggests a view of women as sperm receptacles. Mature women, including the women on CERB, tend not to view themselves this way. The OP used the term "respect" a time or two but the whole line of thought shows total disrespect of women as persons. Can we be lucky and this is really just a troll? Or has someone just volunteered the information that he preys on insecure women for sexual gratification?

This is really too bad. A very inspirational story with an ending that is far too abrupt. Who gives a shit how she passed away or that she may have made mistakes when she was younger (not referring to being a sex worker btw). This woman accomplished more in a short time than most people ever will with a full life ahead of them, and that's pretty freakin' rad! May she rest in peace.

a dude that talks about women as if they are only made up of "pussy" doesn't even deserve respect, much less class! "fellas" pfft.

Hehe ok, First I have to say I am truly entertained by this thread. I have been laughing for hours now, so thank you. Second: In what world do you live in where you think any woman is willing and ready to fuck you senseless, on demand, at least 30 times because you bought her dinner once? May I say, with all due respect to these ladies, that honestly if they are willing to fuck you because you bought them dinner and they are lonely, they are probably willing to fuck you without the dinner too..... Maybe that helps your case as you aren't on POF for long term things. BUT Don't you think a LONELY lady is likely to get attached? maybe get clingy, needy etc? And then of course you must deal with the consequences. So aren't you really "Paying for it"? Oh, and also, how many times do you end up actually getting lucky after all your work and effort has been put? maybe 30%-40%? Lol seems like lots of work, times, energy, and Money spent to get layed for "FREE". hehe, Anyways, one is not related to the other. If it was, men who are married, dating, or fucking someone wouldn't visit me then would they? Hmm funny how that goes isn't it? How one has no direct relation or effect on the other? I think you just got served buddy. lmao

:icon_wink: Be sure to make this the opening statement in your POV profile. The ladies will flock towards you, I'm sure.. lmao At this point it's just too funny to be offended.

Why bother with either then? Just wrap your dick with a $20 bill give it a few tugs, wipe the mess with the $20 and put it back in your pocket.

So every single male out there getting pussy is paying for it? lol Posted via Mobile Device

I'm glad that you've understood. Thank you for being thoughtful, honestly engaged and responsible. For whatever it's worth, I'd like to say that this kind of thing did go on, occasionally, on sites like c-r-aigs_list, but it's not something that most of us here would go for. Personally, I have no need to compete with any other companion. There are plenty of men, enough for everyone. What I want is the right kind of client for me and what I have to offer, and I want to be the right companion for him, too. That's a huge part of what screening is about. It's not about how I can earn the most amount of money in the shortest amount of time nor am I keeping score or making comparisons between myself and some other paid companion. I have had clients tell me that they'd been intrigued by someone's advertisement and so they'd had gone to get quick service from ladies who charge much, much less than I do. For whatever reason, they recognized that the experience I provide is incomparably different, and that's what brought them back. The way I look at it, there are times when a chocolate bar and a bottle of cold soda from the corner store is absolutely perfect. And there are times when only fine dining will be adequate for one's needs.

I think it's best to move on, as much as you were wishing to see her. I don't necessarily agree with what people are saying about telephone being the best route. You should contact her the way she requests to be contacted. I prefer email for new clients and welcome phone calls and texts once we've become acquainted.

For all you fripple lovers out there!

Safe sex can never happen (unless the above comical suggestions are taken to heart hehe); we can only practice safer sex by reducing the risks involved in this very (very) lovely activity. I do CBJs only, but allow for DATY, digits, and DFK. I would say my services are 'safe' according to my standards. The risk of transmission to me is considerably low for these activities, but the risk of transmission to one of my partners, if they aren't using a dental dam, is higher (but still comparatively low to unprotected sex). Safer sex is an odd game of statistics. I would say an SP who sees multiple clients a day is at a lower risk of STIs than one girl who goes to a bar, picks up, and gives the guy a BBBJ and fucks him without a condom...

I expect that if all of the SP's pooled their stories and anecdotes that there is a bestseller in the works for the person that puts it together. Sometimes we do find the misfortunes of others funny, and after a period of time, funny even to those who suffered the misfortune. An example of this is the thread started by Megan about Best Fail Moments at http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=28938 and there are some hilarious stories in there. Recently I had an experience where I thought that I would have to cancel a date with less than one days notice. IF it had happened, I doubt that it would have been accepted as valid, but honest, this is the truth. You see, I have a severe allergy to wasp stings, but not to bee stings. A wasp sting causes severe pain, severe swelling, severe itching and burning, and does not go away in a matter of hours - it is days or weeks. Bees, no similarity. Anyway, the day before this encounter, I was outside, wearing nothing but a pair of very loose fitting shorts and I got stung. I knew it was a bee or a wasp. That was easily determined because you KNOW when you get stung. But I was not just stung anywhere, oh no, the little bugger had flown up my shorts, and must not have liked what it saw, so it decided to let me have it right on my balls. And then, reactions kick in. I swatted it. Double pain. Oh shit! They say that just before you die your life flashes before your eyes. Well this experience may be a close second. Pain, and then, "Was it a wasp or was it a bee"? And then, "If it was a wasp, will they ever believe me when I cancel"? The shorts were dropped, and upon investigation, I found the bee. Thank the good Lord above! OK, so this has made me wonder when I hear of guys cancelling at the last minute, what were the best stories that you may have heard as an SP, especially if you KNOW they were speaking truth? Or maybe it is the ones that you'd never believe, like, "I got stung on the balls by a wasp." Anyone care to top the excuse that I did not have to use? Guys, you can file that one away for when you need it, but trust me, you don't want this to happen to you.

Thanks roamingguy :) These kind of posts always make me smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside:) Some people treat us badly, but some like you, thank us for being who we are:)

I'm an animal rights supporter, but I'm by no stretch a vegetarian or a non-animal product user. I simply believe that just because we're going to eat them, doesn't give us the right to treat them like crap before we do. You won't see me at a rally or on the PETA website. I do my part in a quieter way, as it's just how I am. (believe it or not ;-) ) Same goes for a lot of things. You don't have to be personally invested to support something, especially when there's many different levels of support. You don't have to live and breathe anything to support it. You just have to agree with the objective of the movement. Having your voice heard goes against the passive society we live in. So many people support things from a more comfortable position. Doesn't make them less supportive, just a bit more shy about making waves. That's my 2 cents, anyhow.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but the best advice I can give you comes from much experience: She'll only hear what she wants to hear. And only when she's ready to hear it. Which basically means that she's gotta come to her own realizations on her own time. It sucks to have to watch it happen, but there's truly nothing else you can do without really sticking your neck out there. Be a good friend. Be there when/if she needs you to be. Support her unconditionally. Hopefully she'll wake up and see what an unhealthy relationship she is in. If not, it may be time to consider moving on because people who perpetually have bad relationship habits will almost always continue to in the future. I wish there was something more I could offer, but the cold hard truth is always the best remedy.

I like old dog, well because he's him. From the first time I met him he has been a total sweet heart. He is great to hide behind when you don't want anyone to see you! He is a great friend and wonderful person. He always knows how to make me smile. I am his little lass, and he is my big buddy!

"Prostitute turned Osgoode law student found dead" Sex Worker. I was very saddened to hear of her death, the world has lost an incredible person who directly or indirectly had an impact on all of our lives and inspired many to fight and overcome the challenges and difficulties they face. May she finally be at peace.

Being rather familiar with issuing RFP's in a past life, there would be too many Amendments. :icon_wink: Lou it was a valid question, none are stupid ones. And I am happy to see you understand. Graciousness in a man is nice to see.

Perhaps the only pussy to be found now....you can use the vessel once it's empty! :)

To be fair, jason listed a number of reasons for preference for phone calls beyond just having the #. All of his reasons are completely valid, and for those of us who insist on phone calls, the reasons given are the reasons why. Also, imo, if someone persists in using a contact method that is specifically stated to not do (in the ad), that is another screening method lol. Anyone who uses the phone constantly knows when someone is drunk. The only person the drunk is fooling is himself. Same with really rude guys. Texts in general come off rudely, so there is no way to compare. But on the phone, rude is rude is rude. If you are texting someone, you are asking them to reveal in print information on your phone which anyone could read. If you phone them, only you can hear what they are saying, with no record. In any case, you really shouldn't be contacting them by phone or text when you are around other people, should you? Anyone could read upside down, over your shoulder, or grab your phone in jest. Again, for security and discretion, a phone call only sp is making a choice to not expose herself this way. Sobriety, sincerity and seriousness, these are things that will only be conveyed when someone talks to me on the phone. With texting short cuts, a texter could be a fall down drunk, no one could tell the difference. Plus the grammar and spelling alone irritates me big time. Plus, I don't have text messaging, so the things come in as voice message, which is doubly annoying. For emails, well I've lost access to an email account, as has a friend. Took him months to figure out how to get access back again, I went thru several emails and reports and so on. Email accounts get hacked, used for spam, etc, and the host shuts them down. Then you go in and you can't send anything or you can't get in at all. Really annoying, but it happens all the time. Texts and emails get lost or redirected or time delayed all the time. They might be sent directly to junk mail. The person may have accidentally set their junk mail filter to delete immediately (ok, I fixed that but I did have that happen, and couldn't figure out why I got no more junk lol). Technology is also not time saving, its time consuming. If I allowed people to book or contact me by email, I'd be sitting at the computer all day every day. I don't have time for that, to make it efficient. The phone rings, answered, questions answered, appt set up or not, we both are done and on our way in 5 minutes. Nothing else really compares.

I still think you are dreaming lol what was the purpose to start this thread just curious in all honesty cerb and POF are two different ball games not apples and oranges....this thread is amusing to say the least

Knowing a little something about the principles involved, the police are perfectly justified in continuing to shoot until the immediate threat is eliminated. Even if he is on the ground, or upside down for that matter, if he is holding the gun and its pointed in the general direction of the police, that's an immediate threat and it must be eliminated. Assuming the police dont have physical control of the guy, the only way to do that is to direct fire at the guy until he drops or lowers the gun. You cant wait for the guy to take the first shot, or the wrong person is going to get shot and possibly killed. Although I admit its besides the point, the guy that got shot was apparently a known violent gang member who had been in prison multiple times. Then he shows shows up bopping around with a handgun (strictly illegal in the UK) and threatens the police with it. The UK and the world is better off without him. And as to the riots, although it might be interesting debating why they are occuring, doing it in the context of rationalizing the behavior based on police actions here, or because of class envy, or whatever, is a really really bad idea and it serves to somehow justify the behavior, making it more likely to happen again. It wouldn't matter to me if the police lined up 10 people and shot them because of their race ... still not justified. Never justified, as SA implies, in a properly functioning republic.

hear, hear! It doesn't need to be professional level, but the too easy, too fast cellphone in the bathroom mirror pic can be improved upon quite easily. As noted here, just asking a friend to take the pic, and paying some attention to potentially distracting background details goes a long way... toine

Oh you need a sign for that!!!

Lol at the idea of looking for long term...I tell the ladies in advance that I'm looking to hang out..which means sex lol Pof is nice..you just have to be patient and send as many messages..its all about the numbers Posted via Mobile Device

My experiences on POF were definitely not the same as the OP. Mind you I was looking for a conventional dating relationship at the time, which stress the point that comparing CERB to POF is like comparing apples to oranges. First off if you're in the long term or dating sections most ladies will automatically put on their profiles that they do not want messages from guys looking for encounters or those who have sent messages about encounters. I was not looking for encounters on POF as the ladies were not either. Secondly although you may get the quantity (as I did) the overall quality is not consistent. By that I mean that most in my experience are looking strongly for the financial component in a guy. It is not always apparent at first and most hide it for the first few dates but it quickly comes through. Many dates were more arduous than a job interview. Speaking to Mia's point many do have hidden agendas in looking for the best financial partners. I've had a couple of relationships from POF only to find out later they never left the system and were still actively searching for someone while supposedly dating me. There is very much the attitude of "i'm not going to settle" on POF which usually means financial. If that's what they were looking for fine but just be honest that you are still dating others. Thirdly I found a lot of baggage came with POF ladies like a lot of ladies hadn't quite broken up with their BF and were just looking to make them jealous or went back shortly after dating. I don't mean to paint everyone on POF with the same brush, I may have just had a run of bad luck over there. But that experience makes me appreciate the ladies on CERB all that much more. Here the expectations are much more honest, genuine and straight forward (more so than any of my recent dating experiences). In terms of money I'm sure if I add up the cash spent on dinner, flowers, movies etc in POF relationships and conventional dates that were dubious at best it would prove that nothing was free (either in cash or in drama). One of the biggest reasons for coming here is that I was tired of the games. My experience here is there is a much higher level of quality, beauty, charm and honesty on CERB from the ladies than POF. Posted via Mobile Device

Location while not the nicest part of town or building great if you do not want to attract attention (I love walking into highrises for this kind of stuff), the inside of her apartment is clean, I'm still amazed its an apartment with 2 floors??? As for the massage, wow is my best description, treat her nice boys shes a keeper. BEST ASS hands down.

Even if you did meet a girl from POF the circumstances under which you have agreed to meet are likely much different than those on this site. When you see an escort/masseuse/dancer the agreement is usually pretty straight forward and simple. Money in enchange for your choice of service. There is no hidden agenda, you don't need to dote on her with compliments, presents, and constant approval and/or reassure her of the shared relationship. We know what's up and we're more than happy with it. When you see a lady from POF the situation can go many ways. You could take the lady to lots of dates before you get lucky(if you do). I myself am kind of a prude in my private life, and you really have to work hard and long to get into my pants(aren't you glad you can just pay for it in cash with a guarantee!? lmao). Plus, who says she ISN'T after your money anyways?!?!?! Oh, and what if she becomes needy, or worse yet a stalker psycho? Lol I don't think that's what you anticipated when you signed up though, right? Hmm, but I guess you never know till you try...... Let me know how your Free Pussy Adventures go hun! Actually, I kinda liked this comparison. I think it was a good thread hehehe

Three men who were trying to protect their neighbourhood lost their lives because of this. There are plenty of social undercurrents at work here; high unemployment, poverty, distrust of the police by some communities and a negligent police presence (if there had been 16000 officers in full riot gear on Monday, most of the rioters wouldn't have left their homes). But in the end, these riots will only hurt those who are rioting. There will be no jobs for them after this, no brighter futures beyond their temporary satisfaction and judging by the police's aggressive posture many will have criminal records complicating their lives. Some are going to sacrifice some freedom so if having too much free time on their hands was a problem, it won't be for a few years. Politicians will have now have an excuse to crack down on civil liberties if they decide to. There's already talk of the British police reforming their tactics (despite their recent problems, British police have long refused to use common North American weapons like water cannons and tear gas-those days are probably gone). Community trust will be lost becuse the rioters are destroying their own neighbourhoods, assualting their own neighbours. But I truly despise people excusing their own violent behaviour by using their economic standing. It's an insult to people who are enduring tough times who choose not steal and murder. Do things need to change? Absolutely. But these cowards need to crack a book and read about people like Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa, people who changed the world for the better and never raised a fist or shed blood to do it.

I'm not sure we can do the math on this choice without further information. How does this work? Is there some kind of time limit for the multiple sex encounters? Could it be any dinner? Are we talking lobster served with garlic drawn butter at market price, or a McLobster value meal? Do you have to have sex right after eating or is their time to digest? These are important considerations here.

When you're surfing in CERB and watching 2 1/2 Men at same time.

castle, this could be a chance to get that tattoo on the inside of your wrist you always wanted. It could become a talking point at parties. "Why do you have a list on your wrist?" "Well I'm glad you asked, madam!"

whoa. I'm not trying to be insulting to the tons of wonderful clients on this board but just because somebody is on CERB doesn't make them trustworthy. Also as cell phones dont have breathalizers how would you know if someone is drunk or high when they are texting you? Posted via Mobile Device

To put it bluntly, with what we go through as SPs as it is booking clients, I have no desire to "bid" on a bj. No thanks.

Here's another issue with Txts and Emails, and I know some of you guys won't like or agree with what I have to say about this. ALOT (not all, but a very high percentage of ppl) of txt messages and email requests are basically tire kickers. Just sniffing around and window shopping and in many cases are not truely serious. Many of them end up to be last minute cancellations or no shows. So normally if they are unwilling to call, its not gonna happen. Another big reason is without hearing their voice, there are alot of vibes and tones and you can miss. You hereif they sound drunk, or not all there. So from safety point of view it's a bit less secure. Another reason for the phone call is we, (and I am sure many providers) log numbers of ppl that are no shows, or are aggressive, (we have had a few lately unfortunately), or rude and ignorant ppl, or guys are drunks or have brought drugs into their calls. By going through emails that is circumvented. For us we will answer a txt and ask the client to call. If they can't at the time, I will give basic info and tell them if they are interested to call so my receptionist can organize things for them. I do understand the convienience of email or txting. But in our opinion the security measures outweigh the convienience factors.

If you are looking for something more immediate, and presumably she has a phone number to be reached at, just call. I often message and it can take a bit of time, so if you want to set something up firm, use old Ma Bell.

I agree with everyone else: you did the right thing. I'm glad that you followed your intuition. Nothing is more important for a companion than to have a well-developed sense of intuition and to be able to follow it. More than anything else, your intuition will keep you--and your clients--safe. I am fond of many of my clients. I'm not ashamed of that, at all. I know myself: I am sensitive and emotional; I also have an absolute, strong need to be as honest with people in my life as I can be while maintaining a very firm boundary between my work and my personal life, between Samantha and me, the woman who is not her. Some aspects of the pre-screening I do with potential clients are less my physical safety than about my emotional and psychological safety. For example, if a man reminds me of someone in my past or present life and I'm uncomfortable with that, I won't meet with him. (Disclosure: I was an abused woman and I grew up in an abusive family. I know what triggers I need to avoid, even when the other person is unknowingly setting them off. That is, this is about me, not about them.) In some ways, I liken what I do to the kinds of relationships therapists have with their clients. They're involved with their clients, they know them at an intimate level and, when things are going well, are trusted with the client's vulnerabilities and frailties. At the same time, their own lives, histories, stories, experiences and personal frailties are not features in the relationship. They are there to support and explore the client's needs, not their own, beyond the contractual aspects. What clients do, how they feel, what they say, the stories they tell--all of those things touch the therapist, sometimes profoundly. Nevertheless, these things arise in the context of a dynamic where confidentiality is so essential that it can't be broken for any reason unless the therapist's personal safety and well-being is at stake. (The safety and well-being of children with whom the client has contact must take first priority, but that's not germane in the SP/client dynamic.) Maintaining good boundaries is as essential for paid companions as it is for therapists. To stay healthy, we need to be able to "turn off" being a companion at the end of the work-day, so to speak. While things we read, hear about, see or think at other times may inform what we do when we're working, if we carry our clients with us into every aspect of our non-working lives, unhealthy things start to happen. Our "real self" and our "companion self" become blurred. We may become emotionally or psychologically needy; we may start to build up expectations about the client that go beyond agreed-upon things like payment of fees, activities that we will or will not do, and safety considerations such as the use of condoms. We may also feel obligated to be available to clients in ways that do not pertain to a healthy, well-defined client relationship, such as taking their calls at all hours of the day and night; allowing them to make frequent, last-minute appointments (if this is not an aspect of our usual business model); cancelling commitments to family, friends and/or other clients in order to accommodate the client's requests; and perhaps even relaxing the boundaries of our work, such as having erotic contact in public places (which is illegal) when this is not an option that we've provided before; or taking risks such as providing bareback services when that has not been a feature of our regular work; or venturing into nknown areas and activities unsafely, such as experimenting with drugs with clients. One of the seductions about our profession is that, if a woman thinks things through carefully and is able to provide top-notch service enthusiastically, and if she knows her market and how to appeal to it, she can make a considerable amount of money in a relatively short period of time. While most of us come into this profession because we have had a sudden need to earn a significant amount of money, once that need has been addressed and the related crises have been averted, we need to attend to our personal health and well-being in the form of making some sober, well-thought-out decisions about the amount of money we really need to earn and the number of clients we can reasonably see in the longer term. We also need to make firm decisions about how we will spend our non-working time. Every companion should have meaningful things to do when not meeting clients, answering e-mail, writing ads and working on her website. The paid companions who are passionate about non-work things in their lives maintain the best work-life balance and are best able to work, or retire, in strong and healthy ways. I'm apologize if it seems that I'm preaching or lecturing or acting like a Mom! That's not my intention. What I really want to say is that, if you think that you had developed some needs and expectations that are outside the usual boundaries, I hope you'll pay attention to those. This can be one of the loneliest professions there is. Perhaps you were lonely and wanted to build a friendship with someone. Maybe you hadn't found ways to care for yourself and your real, human needs, but found that this particular client fulfilled some of those for you. It might be that you had been over-working and had become overtired and found that you could rest and relax in this man's company. It's possible that your real needs for affirmation, confirmation and support have been lacking in your own life and you might have gotten a little over-invested in the positive feedback and compliments he gave you--that is, your ego got hooked a little too much. It might even be that he made you feel needed and important when you hadn't been feeling that way in the rest of your life. If you can figure out what you may have needed from him, I'm sure you'll also be able to identify healthier ways to find those things outside of your work. The last thing I want to say is that paid companions and clients do sometimes form genuine, durable, deeply loving and lasting relationships. Of course they do. We're human beings. But when this happens, in most cases I have known, the parties start over. He stops paying her or giving her money. She begins to involve him in her "real" life, and he involves her in his. They get to know each other as two people, as equals. Often, when this happens, the big issue they face will have to do with her work. Most men do not share their partners easily. She may need to retire or they may need to find ways to separate her profession from the realities of who she is as a woman, a partner and a friend. This may not be easy, but it does happen. I, for one, will not disparage anyone for building more love in this world. You did the right thing with your client. Be proud of yourself! And be careful. Stay safe. With respect and affection, Sam

For what it's worth, I have a Inuit client who refers to my pussy as a the "c" word. I have been around long enough to understand that in his culture, this is a perfectly acceptable word to use and I am not in the least bit offended by him using it during our encounters. He never used the word in our initial discussions, only in the heat of the moment. I could not ask for a sweeter and nicer client. It's like Nicolette said, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Daty versus Digits is not offensive to me. Can I suck your pussy or stick my fingers up your snatch, could be, I suppose. I could go on, but I the censor would certain block out what I would write. But then again, I'm like Julia, and love dirty talk. So maybe my vulgar threshold is higher. It's not the words being said, it's all in the delivery and the context. That's the important thing to remember. I know when someone is being playful or just downright rude. My last word on this thread.

I have been noticing alot of negativity and frustration on this board lately, and as such and haven't really been participating as much. However, I wanted to put something positive out there for all the wonderful gentlemen who treat me like the Indian Princess I am!!! As some of you may know, I moved up here from the Windsor/Detroit area, due to the economic downturn when the Big 3 closed. Since arrivng in Ottawa, I have to say the difference is night and day as far as the clientele. The vast majority of you are nothing but gems to me, which was a refreshing change from the cash strapped, stressed out, and rude people from home. That, and being in school, is what has kept me here in Ottawa. Sure, I do put up with the occasional headache, but that's just life. I for one, especially coming from a place in an economic depression, am thankful for your guys company and welcoming attitude:). Thank you Ottawa for giving me a new home, a place where I feel myself and my services are greatly appreciated and the success to achieve my goals in life. I dedicate this song to all of you!!!

What I am about to say is not to critisize anyone in particular but we are selling a service and we are selling intimacy. These questions are bound to come up and at times you cannot sugarcoat it. Sometimes guys want to know and other than being really vulgar, how is someone supposed to carefully choose their words? What may be considered disrespectful to one person may not to be to another person. We have the choice to respond or not. For every guy that is rude, there are 10 other guys that will be respectful. These so called acronyms are ones that have been established in the business over time and I'd rather have them ask me these type of codes words than using particularily vulgar words which is really the only other route to take. I agree that there are ways to ask certain things and at the end of the day guys are just asking a question. And even though we may not want to be reduced to menus and body parts, if they are looking for a particular type of service, they are entitled to ask. We are selling intimate acts whether we like to think of it that way or not. There will be guys who will be disrespectful but for the most part they are in the minority. Perhaps I am a seasoned SP who knows the score and from day one if I couldn't take the heat, I would have gotten out of the kitchen. I used to be sensitive to certain things but now I let most of it roll of my back. All of it comes with the territory in this business, roll with the punches and take the good with the bad. I've got better things to worry about.