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laughed til I cried. Almost peed myself on #24 http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-25-funniest-autocorrects-of-2012

There was a time when I was compared to this guy more than once: ... but I dropped the beard quite a while ago. And it's very approximate. ;)

Last night I was emailing back and forth with a male. He said he was interested in my services. Asked if I could meet at the starbucks uptown for a coffee cause he didn't want to "play" with someone he didn't know. Just wanted to get to know me. I'm not new to this so I knew that I could be arrested for doing such a thing so I kindly rejected the offer. Today when I woke up I hade an email from him : Here is the thing. Yes, I do belong to the force. I am, therefore, letting you go off with a warning only because you have a child, or so you say and based on that I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. What you are doing is essentially selling your self for sex. Yeah, you might say that you're selling time, but the way you market yourself (I.e your hourly rate and what you offer in the hr) is evidence to the fact that in exchange for money, sexual acts take place more than often. If I catch you again on the web, in any shape or form,I will not be as forgiving and I'm brining you in. Do you understand? Respond that you understand, otherwise ill take your answer as a no. Fellow sp's feel free to Pm me or his email I have no idea if it is real or just some guy upset that I was charging him for my time. --- My few words are leave us girls alone. Go waste city money on catching sex offenders, woman beaters, and drug dealers.

Sending best wishes for a very happy Christmastime and New Year to my friends on cerb. I enjoyed the interactions and the conversations throughout the year that I was fortunate enough to have with lots of you, and especially the intimate times with some truly exceptional women. Thanks to every one of you. I value your friendship. May 2013 be filled with satisfaction, peace, health, and joy.

Cranberry Juice Turkey or Ham for Christmas dinner RG BTW my two cents on LaSenza vs La Vie en Rose...it's Victoria's Secret hands down :-)

Very fews SP have "service" prices and to be honest I don't think you should try to seek for this type of service/price. If you are really just looking for a BJ and you are somewhat on a budget, try to look up SP that offer 30 minutes, It's less expensive than 60 minutes and you get the chance to have your BJ. :D

This may answer your question, though an updated opinion is wlecome. http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=69443&highlight=comparative My updated gold goes to My (updated) Gold medal goes to Barefax. We each have different criteria as how to choose the best strip bar and the following is my criteria 1 - Quality of ladies in terms of looks, class, friendliness and age (50%) 2 - Mileage in terms of service and openmindedness, privacy of CRs (30%) 3 - Bar Environment, in terms of service (by waitress), friendliness, comfort, stage (important) and air quality (20%). Barefax (40%, 30%, 15%) - 85% Pigale (40%, 30%, 10%) - 80% Barbs (40%, 15%, 15%) - 70% Playmates (30%, 25%, 15%) - 70% Taboo (20%, 30%, 10%) - 60% NuDen (35%, 10%, 10%) - 55% Edit: Oops forgot about Playmates lol. Thanks mmad. I add it up there now

Hey guys, I am a sensual, happy, sexy french 20 years old cutie, 5ft5 tall, green eyes, black hair, 34 D, 120 pounds, soft tanned skin! I love my new massage job and I am looking forward to meet all of you really soon... I just cannot get enough :wink: I am available: Today from 9am til 11pm Friday from 9pm til 11pm Saturday from 9am til 9pm Sunday from 10am til 9pm next week : Monday from 9am til 5pm wednesday from 3:30 til 11 thursday from 3:30 til 11 New sexy pics that I hope you love! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=6259 I work at a beautiful spa in the west end of ottawa and we have nice in room showers and a hot tub for you and I to enjoy :lovers: I offer amazing full body relaxation massage relieving your stress and tensions in your shoulders, taking away any pain in your back and ending with an explosion of FULL body relaxtion. slippery body slides work out of a clean, safe enviroment showers in everyroom that we can take advantage of, lets get bubbly together.

In my limited time here I don't see the hourly rate as a reflection of services provided. In fact, I've read a number of posts regarding 'only' service - which appears to validate the notion that hobbyists pay for the time, not a more advanced menu of services. It appears the general rules of economics also apply to this world - supply and demand is likely the bigger factor. If an SP has limited availability due to a strong regular client base and/or other demands that force a limited schedule, then she will have less available time. This will likely lead to both higher rates and more restricted services. Just an observation from a novice.

Tough call but I say Bing Crosby. Yeah, he was a douche esp with his kids but his music is good. Hehehe, I prolly won`t be viewed as a favorite for saying this but Celine Dion or Susan Boyle?

My short answer is you can't compare apples to oranges. For the long answer, you'll have to read on. :) After all, these are unique, individual people we are talking about, not objects. There are so many different providers and even more variations in clients and their preferences, that it's a little bit of a crap shoot. By that I don't mean that this is a bad thing. An understanding client can accept the fact that maybe sometimes things don't go quite the way he'd mapped it out, that people have bad days, or even though the services offered matched what he was looking for, he may occasionally not get to duplicate the greatness of other encounters every time. It's part of the ballgame. There will, more than likely, be a next time. People also have very different ways of assessing whether they 'got their money's worth' that is too unwieldy to get into here. The trick for great encounters is 1) honesty in advertising, 2) respect and communication prior (and during also), and 3) matching provider to client preferences. These are necessary, but not always sufficient, to guarantee the best outcomes. As a client, you may pay less one time and get much better service, only because of, for example, the way you clicked with each other, or for other reasons unrelated to her services offered, like whether or not she allows something specific, e.g. digits, for instance. The way I see it is that each lady has her repertoire and sets her donation. To me, the rate doesn't matter if I know the lady is a good match with what I consider important qualities in personality (or looks), or in other aspects of the encounter. If I want to see a lady, I pay her rate, no questions asked, nor have I ever shopped around for a cheaper alternative. IMO, the ladies at the higher end of the scale are worth the extra layout as they provide clean incalls (usually upscale hotels), are professional, attentive to their clients' needs, and are by and large worry-free. That's all I need to know. I would expect some other provider that is either $50 (or more) below or above to offer more or less the same type of service if she advertises a similar service. But the caveat always applies: "ymwv". To me it is more important that, although a business transaction, it feels from almost the beginning like you are friends already. What we might 'get up to' in the allotted time or not is secondary. But then that's just me. If the deal is concluded without some emotion and respect for one another as human beings, then it is not something I'm terribly interested in. If a client chooses to see a provider in the $80-120 versus the $250+ range, I might expect it to be different type of encounter, not necessarily in terms of service, but maybe a seedier or less discrete location, or not as clean an incall space; it may be a more mechanical service, and as she is charging so much less, she will have a different type of clientele and be less exclusive in order to be able to pay her bills. Potentially (and I mean absolutely no offense to anyone) an illicit drug habit may need to be supported. Some clients may even prefer the inherent edginess. I'm not saying that there aren't many, many great providers in that segment of the market, just that maybe there is a greater likelihood that something you encounter on the visit, be it the location, attitude, mood, physical features, demeanour, what-have-you, that may be off-putting to the point that you'd wished you had saved your stash for someone else. I suppose B&S could happen anytime at any donation. I would like to think that satisfaction is more likely if you show your companion that you value her for her time and efforts, service and companionship, instead of looking for the cheapest (or cheaper) options. Some late-night mental meanderings... even though I posted it a day or two after. Please note this is my opinion and I don't speak for all, nor do I wish to exclude, hurt or offend anyone. An interesting topic for sure, and one I'd be glad to hear about from others. FR P.S. Apologies again for the length of the post, but you asked! :D I have to get a better handle on that. ;)

I`ve got a real 7 foot Christmas tree in my house and it smells great! Now I just have to decorate it because I`ve been busy with work. I`m officially in the Christmas spirit! :)

I've seen Victoria several times, individually and in threesomes. I've always enjoyed her company. She's a sweet woman with model looks, a sexually adventurous streak, and very arousing erotic skills. During pillow talk I asked about her experiences participating in Teatro Erotica sessions in the US and indicated my desire to participate in a group sex session. During the last year Victoria spent a good deal of time planning her Libero Paradiso experience and I jumped at the opportunity to participate and fullfill one more sexual fantasy. The event took place in a luxurious country home north of Toronto, with transportation arranged by Victoria. The home was a three storey building with exposed wood beams and cathedral ceiling in the living area, with lots of large rooms and an outdoor hot tub for playing in. Men dressed in suits and the women wore elegant cocktail dresses or evening gowns. In addition to Victoria, I also knew Keissy Hennessey. I understand there were 18 men attending and the same number of women. The evening began as a typical cocktail party with relaxed and light conversation. Conversation inevitably turned to the evening's upcoming erotic activities. We all eagerly shared our anticipation and nervous excitement. The majority of us, including the women, had never participated in a large group event like this before. I think this openness put us all at ease and heightened our anticipation of enjoying a new sexual adventure together. It was a little like being younger again and you and your girlfriend have agreed that you're going to "do it" tonight for the first time! To heighten the sexual tension, women begin appearing in sexy lingerie and teasingly mingled throughout the cocktail party. Men then quickly disappeared to change into robes. Both the lingerie and robes were quickly discarded as the evening's promise began to be fulfilled. I won't provide a play by play of the whole evening because there was too much going on, with so many people in numerous combinations, for one person to describe it all. Some people chose to participate in a series of one on ones, others threesomes and foursomes in bedrooms. Many of us enjoyed ourselves in the presence of so many others and with such uninhibited carnal joy that you couldn't possibly stop to count how many people you were together with. I do have some vivid memories, so here's a montage of a few scenes. Stepping into the hot tub and joining 4-5 other couples. Beautiful steaming breasts and asses glistening in the night light and bobbing in and out of the water. Long slow deep kisses, bodies close together, hands exploring and stroking parted thighs, cocks and pussies underwater. Moans, cheers, laughter, lingering looks, three ways, swapping partners, women flattering and complementing each other's unique beauty. Me leaning back with my cock and balls alternately in the warm water and cool air, while being stroked and sucked. All of this is heightened by simultaneously being an exhibitionist and a voyeur. Being watched by others in such an unguarded act heightens my pleasure, just as my watching others further turns me on and those around me. Indoors, the "playroom" is furnished with a large wrap around sofa along two walls and is covered with naked passionate bodies. People are in various stages of arousal from slow sensual foreplay to climaxing. I look to my left and see a woman stretched out with feet pulled up while she receives oral from a man kneeling before her. Next to them a woman sits on the sofa back playing with her breasts while a woman kneels on the sofa giving her oral and is herself being fucked doggie style by the man standing behind her. Next a man lays back on the sofa with a woman riding him cowgirl. They are going at it hard. His eyes are closed, face grimaced while she rides him leaning forward over his chest, allowing me to see his cock appear and disappear in and out of her pussie with her ass thrusting up and down. A couple next to them lays length ways on the sofa. She screams as she cums and shudders. He continues to fuck and she has to get him to slow down because she's so sensitive immediately after cumming. Finally, there's a woman on the floor, with a small crowd around her. I can't see what everyone is doing but she's screaming loudly and I can see that she is reaching up and has a cock in each hand. Me, I'm standing in the middle of the room, receiving a blowjob from a beautiful woman on her knees in front of me. I'm looking down at my cock disappearing between her beautiful full lips, while she looks me in the eyes. I'm spreading my legs so she can play wih my balls and thighs. I'm looking around the room at all of the action and I don't want to cum yet. I want this to last as long as possible because it's all such a turn on. I decide that while my partner is concentrating on my pleasure, she's missing all of the action behind her. I reach down and help her up, turn her around and tell her to just take some time to enjoy the sights and sounds. I stand behind her and gently rub my cock on her lower back and ass while reaching around and caressing her breasts and stomach. After lingering awhile we join a couple on the sofa in some four way play. Hands, tongues, lips, tits, nipples, cocks, pussies, eyes, thighs... I straddle my partner while she gives me a hand job and she receives oral from the other man and kisses the other woman. I'm close to cumming. I start to talk dirty, my eyes are half shut, my body tightens. I see her looking up at me. She knows I'm about to cum and with a series of shudders I cum all over her tits, neck and shoulders. She keeps milking me until I'm too sensitive to be touched anymore. That was the first of three times I came that evening. I'm usually a one shot guy. In the following days I walked around in a near constant state of arousal, like a horney teenager. There are a lot of possibilities at a party like this. Everyone had different desires, fantasies and strategies. I just went with the flow and who I clicked with that evening. Although I had never previously met Dolce Mia and Jasmin Thai, I enjoyed their company so much I ended up spending most of the evening with them as my companians and I have to thank them for all the pleasure they shared with me. Since that evening I've been fortunate to see Jasmin again. Even though I knew both Victoria and Keissy, somehow our paths never crossed that evening. I do however remember hearing Victoria's passionate moaning and crying oui...oui...oui! After all her work organizing the event I was glad to hear her enjoying herself! As I said, there's a lot going on and you can't do it all! I'll forever be grateful to Victoria however for hosting the party and inviting me to attend. This was the first Libero Paradiso event, but I understand Victoria is planning more. All of the women I spoke to enjoyed themselves and will be returning along with a few more who were unable to attend the first event.

Cool, good to know!

To all of that I would add why is there this need to distance ourselves from actual human contact, when we are talking about intimate services. You can do it all thru technology, but when you don't speak to a real human being, where is the connection supposed to come from. I don't distance myself from potential clients by filtering them thru text or email., We speak, voice to voice, and have a real time conversation, where my attention they can be assured is on them and only on them. That is the only way you can have a phone conversation. texts and emails, well I can be having multiple conversations. It is not reflecting my desire or ability to connect and focus on just the client or potential client. Plus 2hours of texting or 3 days of emailings, is covered with a 5 minute phone call conversation.

As a long time fan of being trampled, perhaps I can add to MightyPen's excellent insight. I used to think that I was very alone in this, but I've researched it pretty thorougly. It's not nearly as unusual, nor as straightforward as you might think. The fetish typically begins in childhood. Very early, like age 5 or 6. Think of a young boy crawling around the floor playing with his toys while the women who love and nurture and protect him, like his Mom, Grandma, aunts and older sisters either walk about the room going about their business, or are sitting chatting or watching TV or reading. Who knows what happens, but somehow their feet and legs get imprinted on his sexual psyche. As the fellow grows older, the fetish takes its own twists and turns, so some guys will ask for a slow, loving trample, some will want a disinterested bitch who doesn't care about what she is doing, some will want a pse-type of trample that really seems to get the woman excited (perhaps as a prelude to her sitting on him and taking him), some will want the pain of your heels digging in, and some will want to experience the crushing weight. So in your role of trampler, the first thing to do is figure out what the guy needs. Almost every guy will want more than he can really take. That's important for you to understand. MightyPen's suggestion of starting slowly and gradually buillding up the intensity is a good one for several reasons. First, it's safe, secondly it wll give your client a great experience even if he can't take as much as he hoped, and finally it will allow you to guage how much he can take. You will be very much in control of everything that happens, so it is important for you to really pay attention to him; not just to what he says, but also to his beaviour and body signals. Twice I have been unable to talk when a woman stood on me. Give the fellow time to warm up. Like any atheletic activity, you risk injury of you don't. The first time you step on him, place your foot on his stomach and slowly transfer your weight onto him. Try not to stand on one foot for too long as you are stepping up; when you're on one foot, you are doubling the pressure on that spot on him. Only stand for a few seconds the first time. Give him a moment to recover, and then step on him again, longer this time. Each time stay a little longer, or start gently walking about. There are more muscles in his stomach than his chest, so he is likely to take your weight on his stomach easier. As soon as you step off, the cool air rushes into him, and in many cases, he will be ready to receive your weight again with 10 seconds or less. You can use that knowledge to vary the intensity. Some fellows may want you to walk on their pelvis, penis, legs, arms and even their head. Start slowly until your get to know the guy. Some guys try to hold their breath while you are on top. Discourage this; he will take you longer if he dosen't hold his breath. It's also safer since his blood pressure won't build up so fast. I've been told that smaller men seem to take trampling better than larger men. A man who is fit will take it better than a man who is out of shape. The newer the fellow is to being trampled, the less he is likely to be able to take as much as he hoped. Keeping your balance while standing on someone is hard to do; it takes a fair amount of core body strength on your part. If you do this long enough, you will work up a sweat. If you don't have a strong core, you will fidget as you try to keep your balance, and that will make it difficult for him to take. The less you fidget, the longer he will be able to take your weight. Don't stand with all your weight on his heart. If you aren't too heavy, a few seconds there will not be a problem, but if you stay there for too long, he could have a real problem. It's a good idea to have something very solid to hand onto, like a kitchen counter, a solid chair or couch, or a wall. A hallway trample or trampling in a doorway is good. Avoid hanging onto something that might topple and hurt you both like a bookcase. Barefoot trampling is easier and safer than trampling with shoes or boots. You can keep your balance easier, and you will not leave any marks with bare or stockinged feet. With boots and shoes, it's not just the sharpness of the heel that you have to think about. If you twist your foot on his skin, the tread on the bottom of your shoe could bruise or tear his skin. Also the edges of the heels of even chunky shoes and boots can be quite sharp and could tear his skin. Your weight is obviously a factor, but not as much as you might imagine. I've been fortunate to be trampled by women in the 130 to 300 lb range, and each experience is unique and enjoyable. (When the 500 lb woman stood on me, I saw blue stars for a couple of seconds before I passed out.) If you are of average size, where you stand on him (upper chest, lower chest, chest and stomach or all stomach), how long you stand on him, how much you let him warm up, and how much you fidget will really determine how long he can take it. Oh, and if he's quite erect, he will probably last even longer. If you both get really revved up, you could be amazed at the jumping and stomping that he will enjoy. But start slowly!!! I always ask the woman to tie my hands at my sides or slightly behind me, for her safey and mine. A collar and leash is great, too! Look on youtube for femdom trample; there are some gems there. And of course, if you would like a personal introductory lesson or someone to test out your technique, I'd be glad to oblige!

Other than the hair, it's not even close. You are much prettier Gia...

I would think that if your seeking an out call then there would be some Halifax ladies surly willing to entertain you in Dartmouth. Yes Sierra and Katherine for sure come recommended and are both very beautiful ladies. Good luck in your searches and have fun ')

'Twas shortly 'ere Christmas, when all through Cerbland Not a client was stirring, not even Cometman; The research was done by many with care, In hopes that SP's soon would be there; The men were all nestled all snug in their ways, With visions of SP's coming their way; And Mod sat in his den, and I in my home, I just settled down to write a silly old poem; When out in Cerbland there arose such a clatter, Mod sprang to his office to see what was the matter. Away to the keyboard he flew like a flash, Threw open his windows and called up the cache; The peace in Cerbland from the newly written posts Gave him pause to reflect on Cerb, coast to coast, When, what to his eyes on the screen did appear, But a cute little image with eight tiny reindeer; With a little old driver, Lee Richards he thought, But surely it can't be, it must really be not? But more rapid than rep points, Lee's coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Gabby! Now, Katherine! Now, Emily and Cat! On, Meg! On Angela! Penelope and Nat! To the East coast we go! Let's go all the way! mrrnice is awaiting ,we mustn't delay!! As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, So off to the coast the coursers they flew, Some an acquaintance to make and for some to renew. And then, in a jiffy Mod saw on the screen, Good golly not eight but t'was really eighteen Samantha and Sarah, VJ, Sophia, Isabella and Cleo and could that be Malika? mrrnice dressed in fur, from his head to his feet, His arms opened wide so all he could greet; A bundle of toys he flung to the girls, The vibes and the eggs they each had a whirl. His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And both he and Lee had a toast to the show; He was happy and smiled, just like an old elf, And Mod laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Gave Mod to know he had nothing to dread; MN spoke not a word, but went straight to the flock, And hugged each one tightly while having a talk, Then waving his hand he laughed and he said, Have a great flight home its time for my bed; Then Lee sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But Lee heard from behind, ere they drove out of sight, "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!" Apologies to Clement Clark Moore, original author!

Kat Dennings as Max from "Two Broke Girls"

I spent a good part of the day today touching base with friends both inside and outside of Cerb, using email, PM's and the telephone. I am absolutely delighted this evening to see Samantha Evans back with us and for many of us I am sure that it is like an early Christmas present. We missed you.

mmmm I splurged on my point system diet and had a Poutine today. it was cheesy and messy goodness. so worth my daily intake in one small container :)

http://imgur.com/a/7hoWa Behind the scenes photos from Lord of the Rings... because Nazgul with umbrellas are hilarious.

Inconsiderable people. They make it very hard to be cordial not to mention keeping ones temper under wraps! Additional Comments: And another anecdote in the mishaps of megforfun. So enamoured by the lit Christmas village at my incall, I missed the last step of the staircase and pretty sure I will have a few more bruises for my collection. Geeze, perhaps I should take up full time drinking....accidents when inebriated are less painful I am told!

I think this guy is just full of crap. He's not a cop. No cop would waste their time to threaten you like that (especially mentioning children). Emails are traceable. He was just pissed-off that you wouldn't meet him. You might consider reporting him to the real police on the thought that he's impersonating a police officer. What do you think? Most folks want to avoid the drama though, but it might alert the cops to a predator.

Today it was my turn to cook. I placed in a glass baking dish 5 boneless pork chops, cut each in half, smoothered them in paprika, red onions, garlic, covered them with thinly sliced raw potatoes (carefully washed and cleaned, but not peeled), then covered the potatoes with freshly grated cheddar and parmesan cheese. It was then baked for an hour and a half and served with steamed brocolli. My three sons, my wife, and I, ate it without a single complaint, and there were no leftovers.

Good question! Trampling isn't really one of my "things", but I understand the mind-set and I've experienced it a bit in the past. 1. Why? For the "why", you have to start by wrapping your mind around the fetish itself: and like any other fetish, here some object is imbued irrationally with immense sexual significance. We all "get" that spike-heeled shoes and boots are sexy; they're presented that way in our culture all the time. Now just magnify that symbolic role immensely. For whatever reason, the shoes or boots in this case are extremely powerful sexual tokens all by themselves in the mind of the "enthusiast", and even moreso when "wielded" by a woman who herself grasps their sexual power. (That last bit is an important point. In my experience, an oblivious and uncomprehending woman saps the sexiness out of the fetish object when she tries to wield it clumsily and without understanding. Yet who can blame her? The fetishy aspect of something can be completely weird and incomprehensible to those who don't share it.) So, if sexy footwear is the absolute pinnacle of lustful sexiness to a guy, then having a woman "use" them on him is deeply exciting. Maybe it will help if you imagine that you've acquired a penis, except it's a boot. ;) (And you've got two of them!) Now... what are you going to do with it? 2. How? The actual standing on top of and trampling part is a way for the guy to submissively experience the footwear fetish. The power is all in the boots and the woman wearing them. Specific acts that appeal vary with the guy, but don't imagine that you're going hiking on his body and tromp about. You've got a sexual tool; use it seductively and a bit threateningly and you're on the right path. Go slowly, don't just jump on. Start with one foot while standing on the other, and then apply more weight to the "active" foot. Lean on something that will take part of your weight and work your way up to applying more pressure. You standing on top with both feet and without other support will be the pinnacle of the process, not the first thing you leap into. That kind of buildup is sexy in itself; the rising threat and tension, nursed and drawn out to maximum effect; think of it like building up to an orgasm. 3. Isn't this dangerous? Very good question. I guess the right answer is "well yeah, a bit." Keep in mind that people can have cars roll over their chests and suffer just some fractured ribs. The two most important parts are knowing where to step, and spreading your weight about; never put all your weight on a stiletto heel because yeah, just like it's namesake, that sucker is going to go right through someone's ribs. The chest and back are well protected and can bear considerable weight; but I've just decided I'm not really qualified to say what's safe and what's not, so seek some online resources and work it out with the guy before starting. Despite all those admonitions... just be reasonably careful, and have fun with it! I'm jealous of all the tools women have in their toolkits. ;)

Some Christmas Bum !

Maybe the quote was taken out of context?

Following Cleo's post earlier this month, i'm adding my voice as the other side of the equation (the client's side of course) on Nikki Thomas' show "Sex, Brains and Money". Enjoy!