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Lately i have been pondering why i'm so shy and fear rejection from woman. when i was young i used to write and act out plays with my friends in front of my classmate and even the school. all of a sudden i had trouble speaking in front of groups and to girls one on one. i believe i found two reasons why. i was always heavier than kids my age and in high school i got teased and laughed at for being overweight daily from kids i didn't even know(this had never happened before), i believed for the first time in my life i was different from everybody cause i was FAt. i started beliving i was less than nothing cause i was fat wich made me unpopular in school. all my friends( the little i had) and i was part of the rejects. so i started always staying in corners trying not to be seen. and secondly this has to do with my fear of rejection. There was this girl who was popular but also a friend of mine, i was her confident, she told me everything. she always talked to me about her boyfriends and telling how bad they treated her. after a will she started telling me that she needed somebody like me. she told me that more than once so i took it has a sign. so i decieded to ask her out, a planned a perfect date, Bryan Adams was coming for a concert in Ottawa and i knew she loved him. so i saved my money, bought two front row tickets and on the last day of school took my couraged in hands and ask her out. she shot me down saying she didn't like bryan adams and walked away. she never talk to me again. this was the worst summer of my life. so for alot of years after that i never ask anybody out, and to this day i still have confidence issues wich holds me back. it's funny that you never associate things until alot later in life!! you don't make the connections to the event or you don't won't to say it's because of this event. i was taking stock of my life so far and wanted to make changes, taking my two biggest personnal handicaps and trying to change for the better. hopefully realising where it started will help me get over them. i just needed to say it to someone as to not keep it bottled up inside. so who better than my friends of cerb who don't judge. just writing it down and knowing it will be seen by others seems appropriate. if this helps somebody in the same situation all the better. feel free to post your own story if you like, it did me good just writing it, mabe it will for you too.

I believe that in life it's the experiences we have that feed our soul. Authentic interaction is what we crave as humans. We like to feel that those we interact with are there in mind, spirit and body in any given situation. It's why we chose to do business with certain companies over others with the same products. The people we interact with will either allow us to feel connected or we go elsewhere. If I feel I am simply another sale, I will not return; instead I continue to search until I find the place "I belong". I will drive extra miles for services I could receive around the corner when the provider makes me feel truly welcome and appreciated. In retrospect, I can see that it's the authenticity that keeps me coming back to every interaction I chose to participate in. I do not have a persona; my clients meet "me" at the door. I have never made up a "work" character; instead I've tapped parts of me that were not given the opportunity to present on a regular basis. Over the years I have integrated all of myself into my work on some level and I cannot entertain if the experience isn't authentic on both sides. I will turn down an appointment or show a guest to the door if I feel I cannot interact with them in a genuine way or vice versa. Guests with whom I have developed a more encompassing relationship with have often pointed out that there is no change in me whether I'm entertaining them or they are included in an aspect of my private life except my choice of attire. Developing a genuine, professional connection will take time with some providers. Repeat guests give a provider the opportunity to get to know them and feel comfortable letting their guard down. Trust is integral in this process; SPs are not trusting by nature usually. I feel strongly that if a woman has to create a contrasting alter ego in order to do this work, then it will eventually leave a negative impression on her in some way. Life is challenging enough without having to pretend to be somebody else daily for your livelihood. The key is initially finding a provider that presents the qualities that you resonate with and then allowing the time needed for the relationship to develop. cat

My parents were always givers..always helping the less fortunate...I sometimes went with my day when he delivered the presents he and his friend had bought for families.. at the time i didn't understand the tears i would see from the moms... When my dad passed away I did my best to continue...I couldn't afford much as i was young but i always managed from saving my baby sitting money to help at least one family. So my parents were not only my hero but helped shape me into being a giver ... a giver from the heart. I still do this today.

Why i keep coming back to cerb? Well they are many reason but mainly it's for the wonderful ladies of cerb. Being a shy overweight guy who doesn't like is body and is not the most comfortable in a social setting cerb allows me to communicate freely with the ladies with no fear of jugement cause here every shape and size are accepted. Most often you get to talk to the ladies through pm or thread before hand, wich is more easy then a face to face first meeting. my fear of rejection is non existent cause we are all are for the something. i'm a man who loves sex and intimacy but outside of this community it is virtualy nil. but here i have talk too and spent time with some amazing woman, that i would of never had the chance to elsewhere. so for me, cerb is a therapy of sort. cause before i started hobbying and meeting the ladies of cerb, i never would of attended a social gathering full of people unknow to me. but this past month i attended the christmas social, even do i was the shy one in the corner and didn't mingle with the people alot; i did meet and talk to members and ladies wich help me get out of my shell more and should be better at the next one. so in other words cerb is the reason i have a sex life and is starting to be less shy. so thank you lovely ladies of cerb for helping a shymale.

In this site, we can feel a since of belonging. A source of strength when we need it. I feel as though this is a huge family, from one coast to the other. As an SP, and before I came to CERB, I felt very alone. It is not just anyone whom I could be honest with what I do. Always having to live that "double" life. freinships were hard to come by as I would have to worry about " what if they find out?" But now I have all of you, and know that when I need support and advice or just something simple like cheering me up when I feel sad or alone. I am so greatful to be here!! In the morning, CERB is the first thing I look at, even before my first coffee! It gives me so much more than just a source to make a living, but true friendships and guidence.

There is definitely something that draws me to Cerb, I do drop by often. Let me see..... 1) In enjoy going into the chat room, to see how is around, and while I don't often lead a conversation, do enjoy joying in. 2) To check on what is the topic of the day, enjoy reading many of the insightful comments. 3) Allows a great openness in an area that is often socially taboo. 4) Love to see what ladies are around and about. 5) The social contacts that have developed and to see if they are around. So, many good things that draw me in. It is a great site for us to communicate and find out what is going on.

Well I'll give my opinion, and I'm speaking for myself only. The most rewarding and memorable encounters I've had are those where time was spent getting to know one another. I like, at a minimum, a two hour encounter, and it's certainly not because I'm a marathoner sexually. The most unenjoyable (yes unenjoyable) encounter was a lady who came to my room, first words she uttered, "gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills" I'm not dumb, I know the lady is there receiving compensation for her time. But making a connection, clicking, chemistry or whatever you wish to call it, before any sexual activity, well lets say I'm just not a fan of impersonal sex. That initial connection, at least in my experience, happens before going to the bedroom. It takes place in initial emails/pm's etc, then in conversation over drinks. Then it carries on to the bedroom, where I'm with a lady I got to know, and she got to know me. And some of the ladies I've met, well we've made connections, in some cases friendships, beyond a simple SP/Client relationship, which makes repeat encounters all the more enjoyable So long winded rambling short, if there wasn't that connection, genuineness, clicking etc etc etc in my encounters, I would stop participating in this lifestyle. Part of the enjoyment of the encounter for me is meeting and getting to know new ladies or having repeat encounters with ladies I've seen. Hope that makes sense RG

Thank you all for your 'get well' wishes. They have lifted my spirits. I'm back from a follow up visit at the hospital. Stitches will be removed in about a week, collar bone to remain in a brace, and the doctors continue to monitor a blood clot from my head injury. Some could be angry and bitter from this type of accident...I choose to be grateful. - Grateful that no one was with me in the passenger seat, police say no one would have survived the accident from that position. - Grateful for the airbags in my vehicle that limited the injuries. - Grateful for the donors who gave the 3 units of blood I needed at the hospital. - Grateful for family, friends, and my CERB family for thier kindness and support. We all have an ability to impact drinking and driving. This is not just a problem at Christmas time, but year round. I ask all of you to make proper choices in this area. I am proof that your choices do not impact you alone. I am grateful, I am lucky...this time. Thank you all for your caring thoughts. E.

Disclaimer: I realize that the majority of you are paying for a sexual service and that your needs should be met within the boundaries of the escort in question. That is the service I am providing. However, that being said, I would like to call attention to what I like to refer to as "jack-hammering." This is basically extended penetrative sex and nothing else. You may be convinced that good sex requires only penetration and stamina--as well all know, women want a man who can last (I hope you can sense the sarcasm there), or perhaps it is purely selfish on your part, you do want to get your money's worth after all. So you pound your paid sex partner, over and over, squeezing in every possible available second. In which case, I am not a blow-up doll. I am not an object solely for your use. Keep in mind, I do not think it is a problem, for example, if you would like to simply pay to receive a blowjob, provided you realize the skill and time involved in administering a good blowjob. And I do not think penetrative sex itself is bad. But if you are interested in engaging in a full range of sexual behaviour, please realize that "sex" does not simply equal penetration for as long as humanly possible. After awhile it is painful, un-stimulating and rather boring. If a woman is not turned on, she doesn't create those delicious lubricating fluids that can make penetrative sex so wonderful. So take the time to pay attention to things like kissing and groping and licking and nibbling and so on. If the first thing you're going for is penetration, you have skipped so many amazing, naughty fun things to do to one another. While we are providing a very intimate service, aimed at generating your pleasure and satisfaction, we have emotions, and physical limits. So keep that in mind the next time you're with your favourite lady. Happy pooning!

We could hide on Parliament Hill while Parliament is sitting. The last place any self respecting zombie would look for functioning brains is Parliament.

In an effort to inject a bit of much needed levity, I am putting the question out there. What makes you happy while surfing Cerb? I, for one, enjoy the comraderie, the silly threads as well as the serious thought provoking information found here. Please share your fondest Cerb memories!!!

All are welcome to answer! A few questions in one thread! This may not be worded the best (I'll probably edit it 60 times!) but here it goes: Why is it so important to some clients to have a true connection with a service provider if they are receiving the fantasy that they ask for anyways? (that fantasy being everything that happens in or out of the bedroom) What makes those genuine emotions (from a client or provider) so special and what do they encompass? (Edit: I agree that there should be emotional connection but I hope my question wasn't originally posted like I didn't understand why! Oops my bad!) Thanks everyone!

Would you all think less of me if I said I have no friggin' clue what this thread is about anymore?

What I like about Cerb is that it is a sort of gateway that can lead you to physical and emotional intimacy with like minded people or lead you to discovering new kinds of pleasure you may have been only curious about before or that you didn't know you'd enjoy! We are all sexual beings (well most of us anyways!) and it is great to have a place to be open about sex in ways we just can't be elsewhere, to discuss issues of all kinds, crack some jokes, give and receive advice on various things (thanks everyone for the advice I've received!) and help each other out. Sites like this help break down the stereotypes one may have about the hobby, about service providers and about clients and most importantly, Cerb also provides tools and community support to help the providers and clients have safe encounters!

I'm happy to be able to endorse all these recommendations, after an outstanding session of my own with Angela today. Lovely face, beautiful body, sweet disposition, eager to please, skilled in pleasing. All the best attributes of an MA, combined. I enjoyed establishing a connection before meeting Angela, as we exchanged a series of teasing pm's, growing in intensity as the appointment approached. Something to fantasize over during Christmas :). I arrived at Paradise early, and the wait until the time of our appointment was excruciating, but in a good way, as the excitement and anticipation built. Any minute now she'll walk through the door....She knocks, and peeks in. Lovely, yes, all these reco's are spot on. A hug, and a shower together to start, a visit to the hot tub for some sexy cuddling, then the massage, with a finish so intense that I had to make her stop. I love it when that happens. I got to massage her lovely body too, and the feel of her firmness and fitness was totally arousing. Really excellent, and lots of fun. She says she can be shy with new clients sometimes, so I'm glad we were able to communicate beforehand to create that bond that makes the physical experience so much more rewarding. No shyness or hesitancy at all between us, just fun and pleasure. And I loved the massage, too :). I emerged relaxed and happy, completely de-stressed. Thank you, Amazing Angela, for an amazing time! Will I see her again? Absolutely. As soon as she returns from her holidays.

The nice, sweet, friendly & respectful hobbyists :)

Good on you for posting this, Shymale. You're absolutely right on two levels: a) yes, our past absolutely shapes our present, and it's in adolescence that we usually form the social selves we'll use to navigate the world of other human beings for the rest of our lives. If something goes wrong here, and we don't develop our social instincts, we'll carry that burden until we can finish the development we didn't complete at that age. For the kind of shyness you're talking about, adolescence is exactly the period to examine. You're already halfway there because you've identified some specific issues and events that affected you then, and you've sensed that they've had lasting impact on your relationship to the people around you. b) you're bang on that sharing these ideas with others is one of the steps to moving forward -- partly because it's one way of integrating your inner self back into the community of other people. Writing is a great start because you can think carefully as you get the words down, and then share the whole piece. I feel like writing an "It Gets Better" piece, but for shy people. I had a tough and isolated adolescence too. Very briefly, I promise you that there are lots of people who went through young life feeling separate and alienated in just the way you describe. People who suffered a long string of painful rejections from others they trusted, or who they simply pinned their hopes on, but were met with indifference or cruelty. You're not alone. I recommend that you consider seeing a professional therapist and carrying this conversation further. Seeing a therapist is one way of embracing the desire to change things for the better. If you felt that writing your story down here did you some good, consider the value there might be in talking with someone trained in the human psyche. You may come away seeing old and familiar things differently, and building a plan for change. Then there's a lot of work for YOU carrying out that plan. :) Sorry, can't be avoided. But it really can be done.

Thank you everyone, it's very kind of you, I had a great day and actually do not feel older.lol I'm in the best shape of my life.

Dixon -- First and foremost, I agree with my fellow cerb members and roamingguy and icebreaker nicely summarized the issues. For me, its all about making some type of mental connection as to me that's the most important aspect of sexual activity. It could be very romantic, or almost comical or funny, or anything in between. I could tell stories of what I mean but that would sound too much like Penthouse Letters ... beyond the scope of your inquiry! One suggestion, though, based on your comments, is to put the necessary time into researching on cerb (or other sites) to find a lady you would like to meet and send her a pm or communicate with her however she prefers. But (from someone who has tried) dont try to package this up too perfectly with your online work ... just find someone whose posts you like and take a look at their profile. Then go for it.

Why it is the wonderful people from all walks of life ..... and it makes me smile and happy when most likely I wouldn't have been smiling before I became part of the Cerb community ! Like right now :) The odd time when I wasn't smiling reading a thread I just took off my rose colored glasses and I was just fine again. I look forward to having more fun and laughs in 2012 and to getting to know the friends I have now better and meeting new friends !

From my perspective (client) having a connection with an SP makes all the difference. I believe the physical and emotional parts of an encounter are hard to separate. Having 2 (or in some cases more :-) ) parties who are genuinely into the activities can not be faked, if someone tries to fake it then this is the stuff unsatisfying dates are made of (luckily this has never happened to me on CERB). I'm sure it is no fun for the lady if there is zero connection with the gent (example: the lady watching the clock praying for a quick and merciful end to the appointment). As for specific details on the emotions, this is a hard one for me to pin down, either the spark is there or it is not. Much like so many other things in life. Being able to read the ladies profile and posts gives us guys the opportunity to make a better informed choice in who to spend time with (that the gent and the lady are compatible and are into the same activities so there are less chance for disappointment on both parts).

Because I would genuinely like to enjoy the most enjoyable moments with life's troubles left behind, I'd like to believe during a session, this is when I can be most genuine and no one can take that from me, I'm willing to pay for that, are you?

Turkey sandwiches the next day. A bit of mayo, some cranberry, a bit of salt and pepper. Mmm....

The fact that even with the knowledge we have gained and the technology we possess, that there is still so much fighting, corruption, poverty and intolerance in the world. I so amazingly lucky to be born in this country and to be able to do the activities I like doing, like sitting here at my computer right now talking to so many sexually free people without fear of being punished or being judged. Or little things, like getting a drink of clean water or not having to worry about a bomb going off while driving to work. It is unreal how some people have to live day to day.

1. Reading about and reporting on amazing sexual adventures. 2. The friends, and the possibility of making new ones. Greeting newbies. 3. The social groups, for fun interactions and pictures 4. Exchanging pm's and guestbook messages. I like the feeling of connectedness.

It's really alot easier than it sounds, Photobucket is by far my favorite site for photo sharing at the moment. They're free, and once you've uploaded your pics they automatically provide all the links/code you could possibly need, (HTML code, direct link, email, IMG code) plus they've got free hosting for any GIF files ect (can't live without my GIFS,lol) Backing up all of your pics to a secure online storage is something I would highly recommend that everyone do anyway (loosing photos is the worst:icon_frown:) so it's a good habit to get into! Next thing you know, you'll be having fun with this stuff! (trust me,lol)