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I called them up the other day, Those Bastards Fat, the Guys that Weigh I hoped they'd send some fun my way To lighten up a dreary day. The guy who took my call, I swear Was very much the worse for wear. I asked what had caused this distress And why he sounded such a mess. "A quiet night at our HQ, We had a beer - just one or two. Don't you worry, have no fear We do this most nights of the year There's no cause for you to be wary - Now, what's your fancy? Bald or hairy?" I made my choice - I won't say what; They said they'd be there in a shot. So, preparation: in a trice I'd half a case of beer on ice. A pizza ordered, soon was there All was set, with time to spare. Fast-forward, then; it's five to five A truck has rattled up my drive. I noted then, with great distrust That there was much less truck than rust I wondered, with a little fear - "How on earth did *that* get here?" But that was nothing to my fright At what then assailed my sight. A bulging gut, with faded jeans (they were quite bursting at the seams) But as for hair, they are no liars: His head was as bald as his tires! I asked him if he'd come inside - Recover from his rattling ride He looked quite sore, of that I'll vouch He quickly fell upon the couch I offered him a beer, then two They quickly vanished from my view. A third was downed, and as I watched Persistently he scratched his crotch! I wondered then, with trembling knees - Was it crabs, or was it fleas? Did I really want to know? How could I get him to go? He ate my pizza, drank my beer He belched - and farted too, I fear. And then the bugger fell asleep It's quite enough to make one weep. Three hours later - that's no joke The bastard finally awoke. I hustled him out of the door And hoped I'd never see him more. My prayers weren't answered from above - "The truck won't start - I need a shove!" I donned my coat, and went outside And laboured at his rusting ride I pushed and shoved, with might and main I swear I nearly burst a vein! Finally, the engine caught My efforts wouldn't be for naught And so I sent him on his way I'd had enough for just one day. And so here ends my sorry tale; My evening with a human whale. So if you're ever tempted by The prospect of a fleshy thigh Please make sure your tastes don't lack A great love of a hairy back Stock up on liquor, and make sure Your drive goes downhill from your door!

So, to all of you folks who would walk away, a question: how would you feel if you showed up to meet someone who took one look at you and decided she didn't want to see you after all? It'd hurt, no? For me, the financial side of things is irrelevant here. Cancellation fee or no cancellation fee, I'd consider it spectacularly rude to turn around and walk away.

Well screw the diet.I'm feeling shitty cause of my hair..my remedy? a big bowl of pasta with cheese. feeling better now:)

You're absolutely right about this, and I don't see it as a judgment, but more of a commentary. People today are communicating in ways that we could never have imagined, and it's actually having a greater effect on us than we realize. I'd suggest the age divide is more for people under 30, but I guess there's some variation there; I'm sort of on the cusp of this phenomenon. When I was growing up, I didn't play video games too often; I had a computer (Apple IIC) when I was quite young, but I didn't spend 10 hours a day using it. Most importantly, I learned how to socialize before computers and cell phones became so popular; it wasn't until my late teens that these tools became the status quo for communication. Now, when I have classes with people more than 5 years younger than me, I can notice a serious difference between those of us who learned to socialize normally, versus those who grew up with computer-mediated communication (CMC) being the norm. There's not just a behavioural difference between groups, but a neurological difference as well. Sadly, these tools actually get in the way of how our brain processes communcation messages. You know the saying that 90% of communication is non-verbal? It's totally true. Our brains process communication holistically, and we consider all the information (verbal and non-verbal) when evaluating someone's message - but modern communication (emails and texts) eliminate some of the most important bits of information that we have depended on throughout our evolutionary history, such as facial expressions, affirmative nods, and body language. Quite simply, kids who grow up using computers and cell phones have brains that are wired differently, and they pay more attention to the details than the bigger picture. Some of the effects showing up in research include: - Considerably shorter attention spans - Desensitization to visual stimuli - Decreased working memory ability - Poorer calculation skills (most likely a consequence of the calculator) - Difficulty in face-to-face communication (lack of eye contact in particular, as well as decreased sensitivity to facial expressions indicating emotional changes) - Limited and decreased empathy for others (because the empathy mechanism in our brain is closely wired to our facial recognition and processing centres) - And, most problematic, a complete inability to delay gratification, and a major lack in self-discipline. At the neurological level, we're actually looking at a potential crisis of massive proportions, so it's not unreasonable to say that this generation gap and communication divide makes people feel more or less connected to other people. Even though we're more "connected" to each other in a technological sense, we've actually never been more alone, as far as our brains being able to connect and identify with other people. The good news is, this isn't the end of the line. Returning to normal, face-to-face communication is one way to increase your ability to connect with others, and having meaningful contact with other people has been shown to increase empathy and decrease feelings of loneliness and isolation. Also, it's actually pretty easy to develop self-discipline; all it takes is a couple of marshmallows to teach your kids how to exercise self-control. Check this out for more details:

Who is the 1% - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jerry-nelson/occupy-movement-are-you-t_b_1110226.html

this. Thought I would share it

This is an interesting thread and am so pleased to see a logical perspective to this rare occurrence. I would like to add that as an Independent MA, my discretion would go out the window if a client voiced his concerns over what we discussed and what was expected in private correspondence at my door. If a cancellation fee were mentioned, even worse! No conversations of any sort in regards to a session take place at my door as I have neighbors. It hasn't happened yet and if it did, I would feel obliged to let my other Independent ladies know of the indiscretion. If you're basing your decision on looks, please don't ever put a lady that you developed trust with to invite you to her private location at risk by mentioning anything at her door. It's common sense!

Perfectly stated. This is what the (true) movement is about. There is a different set of rules for the wealthy 1%, many of whom got their wealth through unethical or illegal means (or were simply born to it) then the rest of us. It's not as bad in Canada as the U.S., but tuition rates are climbing enough that one's level education is becoming more determined by their income than by their intelligence or their work ethic. There should have been a condition on all that stimulus money the "too big to fail" companies got from various governments-no bonuses for your CEOs and minimize your layoffs. As it stood, how many companies and corporations collected stimulus money and paid their CEOs million dollar bonuses (for running their companies into the ground or knowingly participating in illegal practrices) while they laid off thousands of workers? And if it were up to me, the price of doing business in Canada would include obeying a law that if a major company or corporation goes under, then the pensions they owe their employees is creditor number one-how many Nortel employees are now left without hard earned pensions they invested in?

I got nothing against capitalism or a free market economy as long as the rules apply to everybody. -When Nortel executives fuck up and run the company to the ground, they should heed their obligations to former employees who had insurance and a pension, not collect bonuses. -When respected rating agencies give AAA ratings to junk bonds, their CEO's should be fired, not receive bonuses. -When Goldman Sachs fraudulently sells junk derivatives as AAA bonds, they should be prosecuted like any common fraudster, not bailed out by the tax payer. -When Sun Media uses the airwaves to whine about the CBC's federal funding in the name of the taxpayer, they should look at themselves and give back all government subsidies they have received over the years. -Why is it that rich CEO's that failed, get government bail-outs and bonuses, but everyday-people who can't pay their mortgages, are evicted from their homes. -When people line up at Citibank to close their accounts, they should be allowed to do so, not get arrested by authorities. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049976/Banks-country-refuse-let-customers-close-accounts-protest.html) -Why is it that Hugh Heffner can legally pay for sex with his Playboy bunnies under the cover of his Playboy mansion, but when I ask to pay, the state government of the same country says it's a crime? It's not capitalism I am against, it's what has become of it.

I am an introvert in an extrovert world. You're not alone. The less you say, the smarter you sound, at least to yourself :) xoxo Amelia

I can see etiquette wise asking up front what a cancellation fee should be, but being the cock eyed optimist that I am, I book every encounter not with the intent of wondering how much to pay if I cancel...instead I go looking forward to meeting a new lady, and letting the encounter unfold naturally And so far, (except for 4 bad encounters over a total of 20+ encounters since July 2010) I've have had encounters with wonderful ladies that were not just memories, but memorable too. As for the 4 bad ones, I chalk it up to a learning experience, and on the plus side, they made me appreciate all the great encounters I've had, and will have Should a prospective client cancel a appropriate cancellation fee should be paid (determined by the lady) with no complaint. But like everyone is suggesting, see the lady, you will likely be pleasantly surprised, and may even find a lady you would repeat with A long winded rambling RG

Thanks for the reminder Phaedrus! I tried to get someone to help me take it down, but Old Dog was still pretty hungover from the holidays And LeeRichards is still dressed in his New Years Eve finest And everyone else seemed a little partied out as well So I tried to take them down myself, and, well, don't ask me how, but this was the result

There was another thread that got me to thinking. All of the ladies out there are due a big thank you. If I'm an example of the average guy you see, there are probably a lot of other overweight, bald, middle aged or older guys you see as clients...men who don't fit the criteria of "attractive" or "handsome" You see us anyway, treat us like we are your boyfriend, and you, our girlfriend. You provide for us, companionship which is lacking in our lives for a variety of reasons. You don't come to the door, say hey, you don't look like what I expected, and leave. You arrive, and seem generally happy to meet us, or see us again. Yes, we do pay a donation, but that feeling, beyond just sexual, you give by showing us that smile, and happiness to see us, it does transcend money. You may not hear this enough, but ladies, you are appreciated. A sappy but sincere rambling RG

Vietnamese shredded pork, rice noodles, cucumber, green onion, bean sprouts and lemon grass....

Since Lick's burgers is no more in Ottawa, and The Works isn't actually a fast food joint, finally we have the option a "real burger" at Five Guys now in Ottawa. After eating one of these, you'll never go back to Rotten Ronny's. Read all about it: http://blogs.ottawacitizen.com/2011/08/15/they-may-be-messy-and-not-cheap-but-five-guys-burgers-are-bliss/ This was my last treat before my diet - yummy!!

Got lost in Orleans recently on my way to an encounter. Realized that my ex has de-mapified the glove box. What to do? Being male, I can't ask for directions! I stop at Mac's, buy a map and on a whim, a lottery ticket. Map doesn't help, I get more lost, I'm officially late, it's starting to snow, and I'm forced to ask for directions - she was very helpful and when I finally get there, very sweet about it. No, scratch that, she was just very sweet. :) So I already felt the karmic swing towards happiness. And I just discovered that the lottery ticket was a $20 winner! Must be God telling me to visit her again. Yup, I'm certain of it.

Last week, I some time to kill in between events and decided to arrange for some distraction. I knew that VIP's location was right downtown and as I have never been there before, decided to find out exactly where. I called earlier in the day and, on the receptionist's recommendation, made arrangemnts to meet with Blair later in the afternoon. There has been some debate on the location, but I had no issues with it. When I rang the buzzer, I was let in immediately. Most of us are pretty anonymous on a busy street, so as long as the establishment doesn't end up on a local newscast on a slow news day, I don't forsee any issues with it for me. Once inside, I layed eyes on Blair. Wow, she was wearing the pink and black outfit as seen on her pictures and I felt a little tongue tied, like when you are introduced to a girl that you know is completely out of your league. (Fortunately I can buy myself into this league ;) ) Blair is not only visually striking, she has a demeanor and grace about her which is hard to describe. When we got to the room, I took care of business without availing myself of any extras on this occasion. I undressed but had to wait a few minutes for the shower to come available. These few minutes turned into a makeout session which only heightened my anticipation of the treat to come. After availing myself of the shower (which was not included in the hour), I proceeded to unwrap the package, fun was had by all. Blair smells and tastes wonderfull, kisses devinely and really goes out of here way to please. We spent a lot of time figuring out each others sweet spots, although I am a rediculously easy puzzle in that regard. A session in the gymn ealier in the day took a little more out of me than I realized, so Blair had here work cut out for her during a long and very enjoyable CBJ. aShe was not at all hesitant to provide a little extra needed stimulation to prime the pump. The main even followed, doggy style. This ws not an easy decision because I wwanted to look in those beautiful eyes while driving, however, Blair has a spectacular ass, all the right movements and noises to make this a sublime experience. My only regret was my inability to muster round two to experience the other option. But we passed the rest of the hour with a back rub, talking and a lot of making out. I took another quick shower on leaving. I must compliment VIPs on having real towels vice the the cheap motel specials which is often the case. Would I repeat, yep, just as soon I have some time to kill in town again.

bought a bagel automaticly with coffee at tims ... just to realize i cant bite anything that hard yet. what!!!

My Grandfather always said "War Was Hell" ! He survived Normandy Beach and the war....barely..... I have travelled a great deal and every single time when I am on a beach, I think of him and realize that I am here today on this beach because of the hell my grandpa and the millions of soldiers went through to give us that freedom ! So when some days feel it feels like hell I often find myself thinking of him (we were very very close) and realizing things aren't that bad.... perhaps meandered off topic there......

I can't add anything to the outstanding post made by Mighty Pen, but I would like to make a suggestion; at your convention, overhaul the Liberal Party and remake it into something that can perform in the 21st century. I am not a card carrying member of any political party but a strong democracy needs strong opposition and options. And with the unfortunate passing of Jack Layton, there is no significant opposition in our Government these days. The Liberal party has suffered it's two worst historic defeats back to back and there's nothing to suggest that they wouldn't fare even worse with Bob Rae at the helm if there was an election today. The Liberals border on becoming politically irrlelvant. If you simply churn out another leader without addressing the reasons why Canadians have abandoned the Liberal fold en masse, you will be repeating the failures similar to the ones made by Wall Street-arrogantly burying your heads in the sand and ignoring the roots of the problems, inviting them to happen again.

Have fun MrNice !! and enjoy the beer and munchies :) I do think Brady has Mr. Tebow here's number however ;) Better Cheer Hard !!!! But hopefully the girls will keep your spirits up !!!!

The photos, descriptions, etc are the things you use to assure yourself she is going to be the best possible match to being the type that you like. If you find that even with the information provided you are still having troubles finding any types that you like, then you may, as suggested, have to find a way to like the one you are with lol. It is entirely possible that with the information you are using to make your choice, you are artificially enhancing the details given to you with higher expectations the real person has no way of meeting. There is a certain amount of trial and error, but with an open heart and mind, provided the lady is accomodating, friendly and dedicated to providing you with her best, then you will always enjoy yourself regardless whether you think she met your expectations or not.

I like Alexandra, her kindness, her positivity (like this thread) make CERB a positive community Not to mention her contributions in her posts, when she posts something, I read it One of the ladies that makes CERB a great place to be RG

That quote is from here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

Another view point....In my experience if someone did not want to see me I was okay with it :) Why? Because I rather someone see me that wanted to see me NOT just take one for the TEAM ha ha......If a client was not feeling it with me I encourage him to see someonelse because I rather him be happy and me as the ma not be uncomfortable during the session because he was taking one for the team :) I hope this makes sense!

I like Castle because he consistently manages to find something interesting and worthwhile to say. Keep it up, sir!

It might not be the "healthiest" but...

In all good fun gentlemen really, stick to Cerb and you will not have to spend your time wondering!! :icon_smile::icon_smile::icon_smile:

I agree with Emma and one day hopefully soon I will buy a farm transform it into dog sanctuary and take in every dog that has been neglected or abused, nurture them back and try to find a loving family for them.

Hell is when your wife says those magical words "Honey we're going to my parents for dinner tonight and my sisters, aunts, grandparents are all going to be there!" Oh the joy that fills my heart when I get to visit my in laws! Que the

Huge loner over here. I'm quirky and odd and I'm totally fine with that.

I freakin' love my life. Meet with a new lady friend today. We were suppose to only do ropes. Turn up the best sex I had with a woman in a really long time. And I made her cum 7 times in 4 minutes....she was so beautiful when she came. Yea...it doesn't suck:D

And I like RG for the same reason!

I didn't mean to come off whiny or anything. I have no problems with feeling this way at all. And yes RG I think generational gaps play a part. I know for myself....I often feel I was born decades too late. I'm what you might consider a young person (early 30's) and I do notice how in the workplace people my age seem to think the everyone owes them something...which really bothers me because when starting a new job employers assume I will be the same way....I was anything but spoiled growing up. And I have a very strong work ethic as a result. I get in, keep my head down, do my job to the best of my ability, and go home, end of story, and all I expect in return is my bi-weekly pay cheque. What I was more referring to is a feeling of disconnectedness from other people, which isn't to say that there is no one I like, care about, or even love. There most definitely are. But even most of those people closest to me....I find it impossible to....empathize...I guess? I can sympathize just fine....but not empathize. If something happens to upset them, I'll be upset too. If they're sad, I'm sad. But I just can't seem to put myself "in their shoes" so to speak. I just can't seem to get in their heads. I can't really relate to any of them. But I don't think you have to be able to relate to someone to care about them. Actually I've been finding that I can relate to more people here on cerb than in my "real" life lol.

... or you could say, "What the hell. I am here, let's do it!" You might just be pleasantly surprised about what your type really is!

Two for today: JordynK from her awesome new album: and another: and cerb newbie Emily Watson:

What is hell really like? The only TV channel is the Sun News Network...no on/off button and no plug to pull..:( Peace MG

My divorce Posted via Mobile Device

What I like about Cerb is that it is a sort of gateway that can lead you to physical and emotional intimacy with like minded people or lead you to discovering new kinds of pleasure you may have been only curious about before or that you didn't know you'd enjoy! We are all sexual beings (well most of us anyways!) and it is great to have a place to be open about sex in ways we just can't be elsewhere, to discuss issues of all kinds, crack some jokes, give and receive advice on various things (thanks everyone for the advice I've received!) and help each other out. Sites like this help break down the stereotypes one may have about the hobby, about service providers and about clients and most importantly, Cerb also provides tools and community support to help the providers and clients have safe encounters!

In this site, we can feel a since of belonging. A source of strength when we need it. I feel as though this is a huge family, from one coast to the other. As an SP, and before I came to CERB, I felt very alone. It is not just anyone whom I could be honest with what I do. Always having to live that "double" life. freinships were hard to come by as I would have to worry about " what if they find out?" But now I have all of you, and know that when I need support and advice or just something simple like cheering me up when I feel sad or alone. I am so greatful to be here!! In the morning, CERB is the first thing I look at, even before my first coffee! It gives me so much more than just a source to make a living, but true friendships and guidence.