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I have built my business on the "slow down and savour" model. I realized when I returned to Canada that in my career, my favorite times and most memorable moments were those that I spent "time" with a guest. I remember those special men that took the time to get to know me and allow me to know them as people, not just a romp. Today I dedicate my energy to those men that know they want more than just a play partner, they want a NSA relationship that is beneficial to both of us on more than just a physical/financial level. They need to want the connection that comes from knowing and genuinely liking someone. I want to look forward to my guests, to count down the sleeps till I see them and savour the experience from the moment they walk thru the door until they depart with kisses and and our next visit is scheduled. I refuse to waste a minute with someone I can't connect with even tho this is my work. I don't want to be rushed or feel like I'm counting the minutes till he leaves. Life is too short to be taken for granted and our time is too precious to waste. So ciego5757, yes you can take your time. You just need to choose partners that see the world the same way... cat

Far be it for me to prick anyone's balloon, so to speak, gentlemen. Please read my tone of utmost respect and affection: When you were 18, 20 or 22, you were never even half as good in bed as you are now. Sure, back then, you could have four, five, six or more orgasms a day or night. Your problem wasn't how to get hard enough, it was how to calm down, particularly in public. You may have imagined yourself as a force of nature: you could go on and on and on without stopping. If the women you knew weren't able to climax as quickly as you did, it was a shame. Every orgasm you had was an eruptive triumph. You had them so easily and so frequently that fast and easy seemed the best way to go. Frankly, you were an exhausting, not very satisfying partner. A lot of the women your age were learning to fake orgasms so that they wouldn't feel inadequate, or so that they could say "that's enough." The ones who didn't fake it may have seemed "frigid" or that they just didn't like sex very much. And maybe they didn't if sex was going to be so much work for so little return for them. I was very lucky. In my early 20s, I discovered men who were in their 40s. For years after that they were the only men I slept with. They could have a couple of orgasms a night and they had enormous self-control. They would take their time. They'd learned about seduction and sensuality. They often seemed able to reach inside me, metaphorically and physically, until in the same, bright moment, something deep in my being shimmered, opened wide, melted and shattered, over and over again. Those men have become better and better lovers as time has passed. Good sex often takes longer, but it's also more powerful and more meaningful, too. One orgasm. Sometimes two. On rare occasions, when well-rested and with the stars in proper alignment, there might be three in a long night. But the number of climaxes isn't the issue. What matters now is the feeling of completeness, the depth of engagement. A lot of that happens with cuddling, slow caresses, extended foreplay and exquisite games, textures and sensations that bring us closer together and make things last longer. I prefer to entertain gentlemen over the age of 50 or 55. It's unusual for me to see someone under 40. I refuse to meet anyone in their 20s. Younger men may be fine human beings but most haven't yet taken time to know themselves, their own or women's bodies. Sex becomes predictable and, frankly, I bore easily. So this is in praise of older men. With or without Viagra, no matter how predictably their bodies behave, while their sexual peak is long past, their prime endures.

For all of us who play and work in this field it's always best to stay on top of the laws, to know what is legal and illegal. The laws are easily explained when googled. I believe however if the police have anyone targeted they will get them, using whatever methods are available to them. But a sting is expensive and a big undertaking so they must have received alot of complaints to have warranted this latest one. Were the pictures the cop or just anyone, not sure. However I have heard of actual female officers interviewing at a service and then being hired. Then service then got busted, so as I said they can and will use whatever means to get who they set as their target, within the law. But I wouldn't become paranoid over this. As a hobbyist I think the only things to be concerned about would be dealing with someone underage, someone buying/selling drugs, someone who operates a visible very busy incall-avoid them and you should play without worry.

One of the best parts about getting older in the hobby is that you can finally realize one great truth. Your penis is NOT the only thing that has an orgasm. True, it is the one part of the body that can give "evidence" of a successful encounter, but in reality the process of aging opens the door to the "mind-gasm." It's that little shiver you get when you see her at the door. It's that breathless moment when she places that first soft kiss on your lips. It's the moment of exultation when she guides your hand to the swell of her breast, the curve of her bottom... It's the childlike moment of expectation when she begins to remove her clothes... and yours. It's a myriad of moments, involuntary body reactions and snippets of frozen time that you have captured in your mind throughout each and every second of her time with you. When you are younger, most of that is just a blur - a preamble to the physical orgasm. The moment you savour most is when you have reached the state of physical euphoria... that briefest period when your body aches to release. But now, I remember. I remember when she walked through the door. I remember that kiss. I remember that caress. I remember the flush on her cheeks and the quickening of my heart. I remember her every move and each of those memories transports me back to that time. Getting older is not so bad. Not so bad, at all.

Hello my dear, One of the packages that I offer is intended for people who are looking for a slow and cuddly time together. It's an over night and and is also the least expensive package that I offer. I feel that it's important to offer this service because we all need to be held by someone who cares about you and I feel that being held and wakeing up with someone should be acessable. I've met far too many folks in their later years who are touch starved and lonely. I'm compensated for time spent like this in large part with stories, memories and some times tears, all of whitch are priceless. This is in no way intended to be an advertisement for my services, but an example of a stlye of encounter that you may not have come across before. Keep searching I'm sure that you will find someone who can provide you wirh what you need and want. Much tenderness, Kay

.., slow or fast.., it all depends on each person and at a certain time.. sometimes we are in the mood for longer play and sometimes we just just cant hold it.... ;) hehe As for age.. I gotta admit I like older gentlemen.. As many of you had said.. experience cannot be improvised or taught... and little secret dont tell anyone. shhhhh... I got a thing for gray hair lol

I can relate as well Sophia. This business will always come with negotiators or with price comparisons. It's such a complete turn off that gets deleted immediately from my email. Rather than responding, I throw them in my my junk mail to feel so much better. lol. I've received a few that are either humorous or annoying. There's many variations to the bargainer. My personal favorite is XYZ gave me this rate, and if you can match it I will promise to become your regular. My question is why aren't you XYZ's regular then? I find in my experience, a repeat client will pay my rate and repeat without telling me before we have met, and does not negotiate in introductions. There's so many variables to the bargaining that it's not worth a second thought. There's plenty of gentleman that make up for these few unsavory participants. The rest may continue on in their merry search for the almighty and bargain basement HJ.... ;)

older and wiser...sexually smarter. :icon_wink:

I"m pretty much a minimum 2 hour guy. I also am a repeater. I'm not really interested in finding the latest hottie or spinner so much as as finding an SP I connect with and deepening our experience together. Believe me it gets better and better the more we get to understand each other. I am pretty insatiable at times but I do spend time cuddling and talking and connecting. Intensity at many levels is what I enjoy. Variety is important though..change it up...fast, slow, intense...spontaneous...it's all good.

Well I'm approaching....gulp...52 What I have pleasantly discovered encounters aren't about orgasms or msog (although if I spent a week with a lady I likely could have msog LOL) What I have discovered is that the pleasure derived in an encounter comes from the connection made with a lady and in some cases friendships formed with a lady But if getting older and slower concerns you just book longer encounters with a lady A rambling RG

You obviously dont know the whole story and we are not making it public as per the request of those involved but aubrey is welcome back once she has fixed the problem that got her suspended in the first place. The council is privy to the info and the council voted her banned here until she fixes the issue. This topic is closed and not up for public debate here .... And trust me if you knew the real true story you would not be crying foul here!

I just want to underscore everything Cat has said. I work the same way. Longer, slower engagements are deeper, more meaningful and precious to me because of the quality of the connection we can make with each other. I accept that some gentlemen may visit me less often, but they and I both think it's worth the wait.

This is an aspect of the game I've pondered for awhile now. I am fortunate to be the age I am (59) as I've lost more than a few at far younger ages :(. I am also fortunate to be in pretty decent physical shape, carrying and extra 10 or so pounds and I have had a few surgeries from sports injuries and the first part of the mornings isn't always pretty but all in all I can't complain. I have a positive outlook and have great joy in my life. That being said, I've given lots of thought to hanging it up as it were. I don't play nearly as much as I did and find I'm less interested generally. The chase is more of a pain now. Part of it comes with age as men my age have declining testosterone levels which might explain the lack of interest. But that's not all of it for me, being 30-35 or more years older is becoming an issue for sure. I prefer 1/2 hour sessions for this reason. I do expect this will be my last year in the game and then I'll ride off into the sunset with a smile on my face and lots of fond memories. Peace MG

While there are 2 sides to every story, I think you may only be hearing 1. It is great to understand you wish to back an SP whom you think highly for. We are all responsible for the reactions from our actions and maybe you need to ask Aubrey what she did, as you don't get removed from the board for just any little thing. Obviously there is more to this story than she is letting on to you, so before you snap on the mod and get a vacation yourself, maybe you need to do some research.

OK so here is another one... " I can get a massage in Toronto or Montreal for 90-100" Well not sure about that as I have never worked there. BUT I do see a massuse here, I pay 85.00 with no happyending, no nude, no bodyslide, so why would you think I would charge 90? Does this mean I am going to do happyending for 5 bucks?? LMAO So to this I say, have an enjoyable massage in TO then:) There, I said it...feel better now, lol...

Where to begin? I too am moving along on the calendar. I only wish that Cerb was around when I was younger. There are so many beautiful Ladies out there in Cerb Land. I am closing in on 60, I am more attracted to the ladies now than ever. I too prefer longer appointments I like to enjoy the Lady or Ladies I'm with,not rush in and out. I like to make sure that I pleasure the Lady i'm with.There is nothing better than knowing you can still satisfy a Lady. It not just about me. I love walking up to the door waiting to see the beauty awaiting me. In my mind all I think I hope she likes me. Once past the door with my heart bounding in my chest and the first kiss happens I feel more at ease. I always show up spic and span. It's just good edict. A little chat never hurts anyone it helps calm the HEART normal conversation. The main event will happen and everything will happen. Don't need to rush. My sex drive is higher now that when I was younger and it was high then. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hope it never ends. Sex is good for your heart so maybe I'll live forever. HA! HA! I was asked by a younger lady if I could go again. I looked at her and said YES and off we went again to completion. Yes I was a Happy,Happy,Happy. I probably could have gone again. The lady looked at me amazed. Yes nearly 60 and still like the Ever ready BUNNY. I can tell you I have never seen so many gorgeous ladies in one spot as on Cerb. Sorry Passion for my numbers that is my age. I hope you enjoyed my story. To all the lovely ladies on Cerb. LOL Additional Comments: Well Eric my methods are: I go to the gym everyday for an hour and workout. I take my vitamins and pre workout drink etc. The lulu lemon pants at the gym give me the drive. Oh my God. I still work part time. I don't sit around. I am in good shape. I hardly take a drink of booze the odd glass of red wine good for the HEART and the occasional beer Guinness also good for the ticker. That's how I stay in shape. I eat properly, brush and floss regularly. I do not take any precipitation drugs yet. I smile a lot. I love SEX,and the odd DUO when the pocket book can afford it. If I were a Millionaire I would be with the ladies everyday. There are a lot of gorgeous ladies on CERB. I wish CERB was around when I was younger. The only way in my day was the newspaper not that good. I'm sorry all the ladies I have been with I have always been able to get to the second round. I am sure in some cases I could keep going. I am not bragging that is the way I am. Sorry.

Just bought this: Sorry if it's already in here somewhere. I'm very excited for it. It's going to be a long week waiting for it to arrive...

I Like 'em Ripe, Not Raw! ;-)

27. Alternatives to the Bacon Sandwich I was insensitive. I forgot that many providers have religious convictions that may prevent them from providing bacon sandwiches at their incall locations. Alternatives, well. Hmmm. Do you have a friend that might make bacon sandwiches that you could call? That'd work. Steak sandwiches are nice. With caramelized onions and mushrooms, on a soft bun, meat cooked medium rare with a dollop of horseradish mayonnaise. I like that too. Not as much as bacon sandwiches, but if you make up for it by putting a little more effort on the plate, like a sprig of parsley and a few cherry tomatoes, it is almost as good. Vegetarians. Hmmm. I never considered you either. Listen. If you have a friend that will make you bacon sandwiches and put it in a nice sealed thermal bag, I might just take that to go at the end of our encounter. Or you could make butter tarts. I like butter tarts. The butter tart to bacon sandwich equivalency ratio is approximately 12.8 to 1, but I would take an even dozen and call it a deal. Vegans. You are going to make my life difficult. Anything in your fridge will probably make me feign a polite smile and rub my tummy indicating that I am already full. I don't believe that there is a vegan equivalent to any of the aforementioned sandwiches or buttery confections. You might want to consider a new profession... or.... you could offer duos with a bacon lady... that'd work! Just sayin'. 28. The Negotiator You enter a restaurant. Your brain is like Rain Man. You know that you will only eat 84% of your hamburger, 67% of your fries, 92% of your coleslaw and drink 96 % of your coffee. Waste not, want not. You speak to the manager of your restaurant. You ask what the hamburger platter costs replete with a steaming cup of coffee. He quotes you a price, of $10.17, taxes in and excluding gratuity. You balk. You counter offer at $7.82 including gratuity, insisting that the amount of time spent at the table will be less than 14 minutes if the service of the meal comes within 2.4 minutes of your arrival thus allowing the restaurant to serve more customers per hour. You ask to only be served 84% of a hamburger, 18 of the standard 27 french fries, 4.6 ounces of coleslaw and 7.68 ounces of coffee. This seems perfectly reasonable. To. You. The manager politely asks you to leave. Now. GTFO. You get a bit snippy and threaten not to darken his door ever again. He raises an eyebrow, gives his head a slight nod indicating the direction of the door. You see that your negotiating skills have missed their mark on this savvy proprietor. You don't eat that day. The same holds true in the provider world. When the pretty lady says that she offers 1 hour, 2 hour, 4 hour and 8 hour encounters with specific prices attached thereto, you should understand that those are the time allotments and prices that are NON negotiable. You can't get 84% of a BJ. This is a luxury service and frankly, you have an alternative - you can seek someone else with a cheaper rate and more suitable time frames BUT you have to understand. A Camaro is not a Ferrari. A Pinto is not a Benz. A Lada is not a Rolls Royce. You may end up at the same destination with all six, but you know that the ride won't be as smooth and certainly not as memorable. 29. I love you vs I LOVE YOU. Alotta Fagina. Ohhhhhhhh my GOD. Alotta. Fagina. I have seen her like ummmm.... 25 times in the past two months. She is my muse. She makes me happy. She fills my heart with joy. She is perfect. Good heavens. I love her. No. I love bacon sandwiches. I LOVE HER. With all my heart. I LOVE her. She must love me. She must LOVE me. We have had sex like 25 times in the last two months. That's what... 24 more times than I had all of last year with my ex-girlfriend. Granted she was in a coma for 11 of those months, but that's semantics. I LOVE Alotta Fagina. She LOVES me. We will move in together. We can have an island, small at first, like one that holds up the centre support of a train bridge but in time we will have an island in the Caribbean. When I win the lotto. I have a plan. I will make her the happiest woman on the face of the planet. She has made me the happiest man on the face of the planet. <THWACK> WTF! I was expressing my true love, my undying affection. We are in love. <THWACK> Okay, please stop that. I know you are jealous of our deep spiritual connection. You could not possibly understand how much we LOVE one another. <THWACK> Now that hurt. Why did you use a baseball bat? I may have a contusion. Look, just look... you left a mark. How can I explain this to the epicentre of my universe, the apple of my eye... I know, I will say I was defending her honour. That will make her UBER love me even more than she ultra loves me now. This is a dangerous game. You may have affection for providers and providers may have affection for us. That's a natural bond that comes with spending time together but never confuse love for LOVE. You have a paid relationship with a provider that is mutually beneficial, and over time that may make you much closer. I am not saying that it's IMPOSSIBLE that LOVE will blossom, but the most basic principle is that you will find an amazing person to spend your time and money with... and that's the premise that you must keep in mind. Love your provider, respect your provider but when you feel the emotions welling up within you, take a break from your provider and take stock. It might be best for everyone! ... i'm sure that there will be more....

I will be organizing the next Ottawa social for both male and female CERB members in good standing on Thursday, May 9, 2013 in Ottawa. Since this is being organized by CERB members for other CERB members, please do not bother the MOD about this event. It will be held a centrally located venue in Ottawa. It will be in a reserved room of a public bar/restaurant. It will run from approximately 6:30 p.m. until closing time. There will be a variety of music played and dancing will be encouraged. There will be a limit of 60 spots available (ideally 30 gents/30 ladies), on a first-come, first-served basis to those members in good standing who have some presence on the board or in the hobby (if you have a low post count, but good rep, that's all we care about). There will be a cost for gents to attend and tickets will be available starting the first week of April. You will be able to pay by e-mail money transfer, postal money order or cash (in person in advance to me.). The price of the tickets will be $45. This is to cover drinks for the ladies, appetizers, door prizes and other expenses associated with organizing these events. There will be no cost to the ladies to attend, however you will have to confirm 3 days before the event that still intend on coming due to the fact we always sell out and end up with a waiting list. If you didn't get a chance last time, you will be given first priority. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones. This is a meet and greet social event in a public venue (no hanky panky :smile:) and as with past events, expect all attendees to behave accordingly. Remember, CERB members from all across Canada (and elsewhere) are welcome to attend. If you think you might like to join us, feel free to pm and let me know. Angela of Ottawa Your humble social organizer.

Anyone who thinks "only" about the HJ has never experienced the whole package and therefore is stupid, immature and unknowledgeable about how sophisticated we now are. Sophia is an experience to be relished for a whole hour of sheer bliss.

I've heard this lol' date=' a few times, like wtf!! You however responded much more politely than I. My kindest response was why not get that massuse to fly here and service you then, lol. Why oh why do men compare us, it boggles my mind , do they really think we are all identical twins offering identical services just charging different prices? Seriously- next time I think I hear this my response will be, well I can make more in To or montreal so instead of paying me my asked rate you should pay me what I may make there!! lol.:icon_biggrin:[/color']

To the op of this thread I can understand the point of your post and as someone who knows Saint John well I didn't take it as you were putting the city down. Nor was I insulted by the poster who made the comment comparing it to a scenario from the office. Some people equate a city with their experiences and memories developed in it. If they had a good time it'll be a good city if not it won't be so great. Whats wrong with having different opinions? Some like Saint John some don't. We all should be able to discuss what we like and don't like and be humorous about it as well. Not all humor is funny to some either, but still we should be able to express it-shouldn't we:icon_biggrin:

THAT is the true test. If you find yourself at peace doing what you're doing, than it is the right action for YOU.

Whatever you decide to do, please bear in mind that your obligation to engage in the safest sex possible has now increased many fold, due to the possibility of exposing your wife without her knowledge or consent. Educate yourself! There are diseases which defy barriers, such as HPV, HSV. I am married myself, but the difference is that my spouse is fully knowledgeable and is therefore able to consent. It's a tricky thing to try to carry on a marital sex life alongside a clandestine one. There are good reasons to give it serious consideration. But I think you're right in that, if you're inevitably going to do it anyway, sticking with professionals is your most responsible option. Good luck!

..., yo u have not even met yet.. The lovely Alotta Fagina..., maybe you have exchage some txts, had the chance to see her pics..., or chat on CERB live chat... And you love Alotta Fagina, you start texting at odd hours, tell her you love her, you are inlove with her, want to marry her, .., you dont want to meet her at her job..., but you really really find her amazing, fun, gorgeous, etc... And you would like her to come for a drink, or luch, or anything, outside of work.... That is a NO NO NO NO NO NO! If was looking for a bf, I d be on a dating site! Just because We are nice, like to chat, have friendly conversations doesnt mean we want dates outside of our work, and if that is the case... I am sure we will let you know... And most certainly would not be someone that we have not even yet met in person! ANY SIMILARITIES WITH REALITY IS PURE COINCIDENCE ;-)

Ain't it the truth old dog!...... Getting older is not so bad at all my friends!! Love reading your posts man. Well written, humorous and you always speak the truth! Thanks Old Dog.

Simply put.....I find my sexuality and my drive gets so much better with age and experience with women. So I just like to say thanks to those ladies. Oh and the sun and fun down here is fabulous! Back home soon. BTW I'm not getting older I'm getting MUCH better at the sexuality,erotic,and sensual time with ladies! Comes with experience!

:butt::butt::butt: No matter how many times I have looked at these beauties, I still can't get enough!

Sometimes slower is better. And this hobby is all about time spent with nice and sexy ladies. But time is money. In my own experience, I prefer longer appointments fewer times, than short appointments where I don't benefit enough of the presence and intimacy of my preferred SP. But that is a personal choice. But I understand quite well that with age we do not perform as well as we did younger, and our acrobatic performances have to be replaced by our more subtle talent of seduction and fantasy. At least, pleasure is an eternal gift.

Actually, the ball's in Aubrey's court. She knows what to do to make things right...maybe she should do the right thing. Just sayin'.

As someone who resides in the city you speak of, I take great offence to your post. (Yes I CHOSE to move here) The city has old world historical charm with a lovely Fundy view through out uptown. It is a mix of old and new and has a very welcoming feel. the city is easy to navigate and all streets uptown lead to water. As well come springtime the city is a HUGE draw for cruise ships with 1-3 on any given day. I am just guessing that you forgot to mention these strong points of this city when you decided to trash it in your above post? Sure it has some mish mashed road systems and the graveyards have no fences, and yes there is a refinery smack dab in the middle of the city (but its the same in Edmonton). These are all things that add to the charm and romance of the city. Maybe you need to have another trip to Saint John to see what you missed? Clearly comparing such an amazing city to such a god awful show such as the office is just plain wrong. Saint John, is one of the best cities for Sp's to visit in New Brunswick, for business people to travel too and for people to live in. People here are kind, friendly and proud of where they come from.

This is nothing. There are guys who reply to EVERY ad posted by a woman and try to solicit more than whatever the ad is for. And her disgusted reaction to being propositioned says more to me about how she feels about prostitution overall than anything else. I'm not condoning the guy's behaviour either, but this whole article is way overreacting.

in reaction to the original post where any girl with a camera and lingerie and an internet connection thinks she can be an SP, I also hear a lot of girls say things like "hmmm I could do that, I love sex" to me thats sorta like saying "I like pizza, i think I have what it takes to open a Pizzeria" just beacuse you are comfortable serving or consuming what you're selling doesnt mean you have the slightest clue on what it takes to run that business, advertise that business, and help it flourish. And I like to remind clients that the "sex part" is only about 10% of what our job entails. you could be great in bed, but have terrible business skills, poor people skills and an unwillingness to learn from your or others' mistakes that in the end could ruin your business.

As always the insightful ladies of CERB make some great comments. Another aspect to this is that in any service industry we'll see a variety of providers with different aspects to their business model. And as well for each level of service there is likely a corresponding client. Or market rules would say it wouldn't exist. I also agree with the point that I can suspect that many ladies start out for differing reasons, with different needs and different long term intentions. I don't begrudge anyone who makes this attempt. I've treated every lady I've met with the highest of respect. And in turn I've been blessed with some amazing encounters. In a free market quality will find quality. It just doesn't happen all the time but lets hope the majority. Cub

You need to be smart enough to know when to avoid a particular client base, such as ..... 1) Men who have been burned badly by others sps, and then paints all sp's with the same brush..... 2) Those who are always looking for the cheapeast of the cheap when it comes to cost...these men usually tend to go over their said time and you will burn out quickly-and that will kill your chances of success in this business. You need to be strong enough to ensure that you avoid: 3) Clients who try and persuade you to overlook your usual restrictions... 4) Caving in to suggested rates by hobbiests...they have no idea what is to do something like this. There seems to be an 80$ trend going on right now...and that is all I am gonna say ;) MOST of the men on this board prefer quality over quanity...THANK GOD :bowdown: I would suggest CERB as the place to attract your best client base! All of the other sp's advice is very good too!!

This post is intended to gently educate those who contact me and after getting rates and info say " that much just for HJ?" NO IT IS NOT THE RATE FOR HJ, my sessions are full treatments that are skilled and for the whole duration of the time spent. You are booking the whole experience, no just what happens in the last 20 min! If you come in, and only have the end on your mind, you are going to miss the point:( The point being, time and place to feel pampered, aroused and to inspire the touch sensation that one may crave whilst not having to "go all the way". Just as when you are booking a GFE encounter, you are going to experience the many different hosting activities, including companionship, attention, sensuality, her personality and entertainment. NOT what happens only in the sac! It is about the whole experience from beginning to end. I hope that this helps you to understand, as it is disheartening for me to hear" that much JUST for HJ?" As it discredits the hard work, education and skill involved with this type of service:( Perhaps if you try it, you will see it much much more than JUST a HJ;)

watching my son's swearing in ceremony for Canada's military a little while ago

30. The Outcall at your home You have done it!!! You will no longer have to be master of your domain. Put that Kleenex box away. Today's the day you have finally saved for... you are going to meet Alotta Fagina and her new duo partner, Anita Dickens-Hyde (that's right, say it slowly...I'm a dirty freakin' genius!), at your swinging bachelor pad. Best behaviour!!! Now. Eeeeeeek. Look at this place. Ummmm. Ewwwwww. What is that smell??? Gonna need to do some laundry. Yup. Your method of saving on laundry costs by wearing t-shirts and underwear for 4 days has a price (inside out, outside in, backwards and forwards... doesn't everyone do this???) Your place kinda smells like... ummmm... how do we put it politely???? Poo. Sweat. and dead animals. Charming. A fire... you could set the place on fire. No. Bad idea. How about you clean it??? You know those dusty bottles that your sister gave you 8 years ago when you got the place??? Use those. The bedroom. It's not so bad. Okay. It looks like the bedroom of an 8 year old. The He-Man and the Masters of the Universe comforter set is quaint and charming BUT not so much on the sexy debonair suave side. You good sir are going to have to put some big boy clothes on and do some shopping. No. Chicks don't dig Transformers. You can't use that comforter set either. You know the colour of the paint on the walls?? Ask someone at the store to show you something without animated characters and sorta matches the decor. No. You can't buy the Gi Joe sheet set. No. Don't make me hit you. While you are out... did you think of refreshments?? I know that you like chocolate milk and cherry Koolaid mixed together, but it's not everyone's taste. Try something ummmm kinda grown up. Wine maybe? For GODS sake don't pick the wine in the Transformers bottle. Yes, I know it's "neat." That bottle over there - see it? Yes, that one in the clear green glass bottle. I know you don't know anything about wine. Yes, I know you don't own a corkscrew. Okay. Just pick up a bottle of white and a bottle of red with twist tops. And over there... see that section over there that says coolers? Pick up a 4 pack that is kinda girly. I have no idea what they like. Okay. I know you don't either. Jeebus. You see the pink ones? Pick those up. Oh and pick up those wine glasses over there. I know you probably won't use them again. But the LADIES might. Let's go to the grocery store now. I know you are excited. Settle down. No, you are too big to ride in the cart. I am only helping you. You need to push it yourself. Awww, don't pout. Are those, tears???? Okay you can ride in the cart. I will help you. See this?? This is bottled water. I know it's cheaper from the tap. I know you want to show the ladies your limited edition Star Wars glasses from 1983. Trust me, we will go with the bottled water. Oh hey... look at that. It's cheese and it doesn't come in a can!!! Let's do some of that. You don't have plates? Okay. Let's go to the deli... they have a cheese and crackers platter at a reasonable price. What do you mean you don't have napkins. Ohhhh... you use Cottonelle for everything. Not today. No sir, not today. I am guessing you don't have candles. Oh you do??? Lord of the Rings Hobbit Candles. Charming. Nothing sorta plain?? Okay let's forget the candles, the less they see of your place the better. Gents... when you invite a provider to your home treat them with the respect they deserve. Clean. Yup. Clean. The bathroom, the bedroom, the living room and the kitchen. If you provide refreshments do so from a SEALED bottle opened in their presence. Make an effort. You make THEM bacon sandwiches!!! They are your guests! 31. Great Expectations It's happened to all of us on BOTH sides of the equation. You have been speaking for weeks, have exchanged PMs, texts, calls... and today is the day that you are finally going to meet. The door opens... and meh. It's certainly not unique to this world, it happens on dating sites all over. It's happened at high school reunions. It happens everywhere. You have envisioned a mix of Megan Fox/Angelina Jolie/Sasha Grey and are met with ummmmm... not that. You are disappointed. You have built up the moment in your head, the dream date with Megangelisha... and are met with a pretty woman that isn't her. What to do? Step back. Take a moment. Take stock. You aren't Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum or Shemar Moore. You are just a guy. She is a pretty girl. Give your head a shake. She is going to touch your wiener. She is a pretty wiener touching girl. Not only that, she is the pretty wiener touching girl that has an amazing personality. She is a charming pretty wiener touching girl that smells really good. She is an aromatic charming pretty wiener touching girl wearing a beautiful negligee cut so low that you see her amazing boobies. She is an aromatic near naked buxom charming pretty wiener touching girl that has just invited your into her home. She is a welcoming aromatic near naked buxom charming pretty wiener touching girl that has just planted the most amazing kiss on your lips. She is a kissable welcoming aromatic near naked buxom charming pretty wiener touching girl that has changed your opinion. No longer meh. She's HAWT. She isn't Megangelisha but then again you aren't Brachanmar. That's a good thing too, cuz neither of your fake names is frickin' pronounceable. What you are is.... together, at her place, at the appointed time, with the correct amount of money, with a couple of hours open, with a bottle of wine and possessing some degree of chemistry. A light goes on in your head. This is good. This is really good. Of course then she kills you. You knocked on the wrong door. Had you followed the directions she gave you, you would have been alive BUT OHHHH NO.... you had to be the guy who doesn't need directions. Serves you right to be dead. You knocked on the door of the notorious negligee nympho killer. She's probably desecrating your corpse right now.... No, I'm just messing with ya. She didn't kill you. If she did, you wouldn't be reading this. You had a really good time. She rocked your world. Your wiener is kinda sore, but in a good way. You learned a valuable lesson. Don't dismiss something that could be great. You built the rapport, follow through. Read the directions to her place. Don't knock on the wrong door. Beware of nearly nude nymphos with knives. If she is playing the theme from Psycho, run. Don't go swimming until an hour after you have eaten. Don't stick forks in live electrical outlets. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. It's amazing being me. Bwahahahahahah

I like Emiafish because he seems like a thoughtful fella who makes great contributions to the board.

Sometimes I wonder about some girls. It seems that every girl with a camera and bra's and panties seem to think they can be an sp. Well I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you it takes more then mostly naked pics on the internet to be an sp. An SP needs to be patient professional, and kind with a strong back bone and thick skin :) The job pretty much is to be pretty clean and nice. And I don't mean your stereotypical super modal pretty. I mean nice blouse, skirt, heels, and yes ladies blow dry and style your hair and put on make up (properly) If your're gonna charge $200/h at least make an effort to pr nice enough looking that when you look in the mirror you could almost do yourself lol It doesn't seem to be much of an issue here but you do see often girls that post a few pics of them selves then post 3or4 ads for themselves per day then get all pissed after a day or two and blast the customers for not being interested. Put some time and effort into writing. Post about rainbows and butterflies at first if you have to. I know sometimes I can get grumpy on my phones with texts and calls asking like 1000 questions lol. But luckily I've been able to draw interest through my posts and the random thoughts that pop in my head and keep an everlasting memory with my infectious smile and playful nature that people witness when they meet me. The unfortunate thing is that with the ladies that don't take this lifestyle professionally just make the rest of us look bad and the profession look bad.

I`m taking notes. So far excercise and get ready ,,, and subtle talent. I do have to agree that seduction is a huge part of my session these days and it goes both ways. That goes from being a respectful gentleman to having a truthful caring discussion. I also prefer longer session and being able to get more intimate with a lady. Yes, it is a business for a lady but I do believe that there may be still have some ties and comfort level. We are paying for the services but I like to believe that ladies will possibly be more ``friendly`` with you when you do respect them and appreciate that they are giving you what is the most intimate gift you may ever get.

Saint John is a Great place to live/work IF your name is Irving or you are acquainted closely with that "name". I lived there for 8 months and honestly hated about 90% of my time there. The last straw for me was being at a bar where a coke head decided to take a few shots at me and a friend. And by shots I mean he had a riffle in his car and loaded up a few rounds. People think SJ is a city, but what it really compares to is a corporation, everything there exist because the Irvings money is there. Take that away and so ends SJ. Individual experiences may vary as Emily posted above. There are positives and negatives to every town, sometimes when all you see/experience is the negatives it makes it difficult to see the positives. I will take your parks any day of the week though!

I hope everyone forgives my tangent. I agree with a lot of what the cooler heads have added to this thread, but I cannot resist the setup. To me Saint John looked and felt like an an oceanfront Scranton. Highway right through it, gravel pits and other industrial areas climbing up the hillsides right next to awkwardly placed condos and apartments. So, for you fans of the American version of The Office, just picture the long lost episode where Michael Scott hilariously tries to meet up with a SP! Oh, the misuse of acronyms, the text message hijinx, Dwight's "recommendations!" Full disclosure, I live in a town of less than 1,000, so I judge neither Scranton nor Saint John for their big city dreams and little city realities.

IMHO. The bottom line is that this guy is probably just a douche-bag and not the smartest pencil in the box. If he's asking for this service, he's fully aware of SP's and ther services they offer, in this case I think he was looking to hook some fresh meat. Pray on the innocent, try it and see if it works. Maybe it's all just a big mix up (but I doubt it). Typically adult services are posted in a different area from cleaning services so to give benefit of doubt to both parties either he looked in the wrong area for services or she posted her services in the wrong area. (I dont think this is the case though). The world is full of naive and in this case puritan people who's reaction was overblown due to the fact that they innocently existed inside a bubble from the real world. As it sits this is a learning experience and very funny story to tell at parties (maybe after some time passes).

Windshield washer fluid (I think this is my fifth post....shaking the 'newbie' off!!)

lol ya that's right up there with "hey can I get a 10min bj for $60" Like god people don't be an f'n douche bag. like really do u expect to come in and have me drop to my knees imminently even if I was desperate enough to take the offer? call me old fashioned but I would like to at least say hello first. lol

I've been following this thread and have to admit that I am intrigued. I've had dreams where I'm sucking my own cock does that count? Anyway, I've decided to try it and see. Booked a threesome with a m-f SP and will see what happens, they are both bisexual and are open to whatever so I'll let passion decide. The thought of receiving a BBBJ from the two of them together is a turn-on. At this point, the thought of giving a BBBJ with the f SP is, I don't know what but it is not as comfortable as the thought of receiving. I think giving a HJ is in the cards but we'll see how far it goes.

Some of the most amazing eyes I have seen are right here on CERB. Sandi