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In the past few weeks, especially, I've noticed, there have been lots of gorgeous new sp's, MA's and dancers joining the ranks of cerb, posting albums, and getting involved in the social groups. I've enjoyed welcoming and interacting (only virtually so far) with several of them, but wanted to say thanks to them all publicly here, and particularly to the ones who've befriended me and taken the time to get in touch. I appreciate it. The list of women I want to see keeps growing (and growing....), and so does my excitement at all the beauty that surrounds us! :) So welcome again, and thanks.

Recently I have been thinking about how the amazing Ladies of CERB go about screening prospective clients. I have been around long enough now to know and respect that the SP's take screening seriously and have all developed their approach to screening that meets their individual needs. Many SP's require certain information, or references, or that initial contacts be made thought email or by phone. But when I stop and think about it these wonderful ladies really don't have much info on which to base a decision that affects their personal safety. Obviously guys lie about their name and other personal information... cell phones are a dime a dozen and references can't be a deal breaker all the time because all of us had to start with none at some point. For the last few weeks I will admit it i have trolled the various SP ad sections and then looked at some of the SP profile visitors post history. While I did not see anything strange or surprising in fact I saw a lot of posts very similar to my own post history I was struck by the fact that many of these posts (mine included) did not, for me anyway, scream wow I can't wait to meet this person. I kinda think if I was going to invite this person into my life I might need more. Lololol Anyway.... I think this might just be my long way of saying Thank You to all you wonderful ladies who make the choice to invite us into your life. I guess the fact that you do that based on very little information says something about your faith and trust in others and your ability to assess the essence of our character. For me personally I have benefited greatly because you have. THANK YOU

Schedule Jan 27 - Feb 1 Friday 11am-7:30pm (@Paradise Spa) Saturday 3:30pm-9pm (@Angels Touch) Hello Gentlemen.. My name is Mandy! I have green eyes, long dark hair, and a naturally fit body...I am a classy girl, and I take care of myself very well. I've been working in the massage industry for almost 1 year now! & I love what I do... My services include sexy body slides, full body massage, reverse massage, teasing, shower for 2 and lap dances if requested!... I am very easy to talk to and have a great personality... So why not come enjoy my beautiful behind, tight body and 36C natural breasts, you will be sure to leave with a smile! =) Feel free to check out my profile & peep my sexy pics! You can find me at Paradise Spa OR Angels Touch, both conveniently located in the west end of Ottawa... They are upscale, clean, classy and discreet spas!... Rooms include large mirrors, music, showers, and black lights to intensify your sensual experience... In calls only! Please call the spa @ 613-820-8887(Paradise), 613-274-7073(Angels Touch), or PM me to book an appointment XO

Here is a few for this year: http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/30/showbiz/tv/2014-super-bowl-commercials/ post your favorite super bowl ad mine are the puppy ad and the jaguar ad http://www.cbsnews.com/media/super-bowl-commercials-2014-watch-and-vote-in-our-poll/

I know there has been polls before on CERB about this, but I recently conducted another one on my blog about my readers' preferences on pubic hair. I've had a feeling for a while now that the "bare" trend is leaving us and that hair is becoming more and more popular with both men and women. I think that in general, as a society we are going back to more "natural" beauty and aesthetic practices. The results as it stands right now are that a combined 142 people voted that they either preferred some sort of hair (ranging from a patch to fully natural) or did not have a preference, and 100 preferred fully bare. Interesting! :) (I can't link it here due to CERB rules, but it's easy to find, if you want to check it out yourself, and vote too!).

This guy should get a recommendation. Wouldn't that be funny? He has saved a lot of us many times. One small example is the Arabic massage girl who looks hot on BP and says a Must see. I was going to go until her pic showed up on his site. The guy is great...and good for all the terrific genuine MPs and SPs all of us love in Ottawa.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/moncton-man-pleads-guilty-to-bestiality-1.2518731 They found him sane and he's sane enough to plead guilty, but no jail time proposed.

Hello Gentlemen I stand 5'3, 34b at 115Lbs with long blond hair and very soft tanned skin. No Tattos. I am petite, flexible and graceful. I posses alot of class and you'll be surprised on how sensual I am for a girl at as young a age as I. I am very outgoing, open minded and playful. So Come find out just how playful This week Friday 11:00am - 6:00pm At the Most Up Scale Spa In Ottawa 613-820-8887

We all have our own opinions and I really wonder if anyone in the government listens to anything a regular Canadian says, but I just sent the following to the PM. I wonder if he will even bother to reply with anything except a form letter. For those who do like to send input on any topic this is where you can contact him. http://www.pm.gc.ca/eng/contact Mr Prime Minister, I have never written before but following last nights events and your responses in Question Period today I simply have to indicate that I feel terribly concerned about the way that you and your Minister are treating our Veterans. Mr Fantino was rude and disrespectful to our Veterans by arriving an hour and a half late to their scheduled meeting, and was then rude and disrespectful to the gentlemen who served our country. Furthermore, to watch you stand in the House and support him was even more of an insult to our Veterans. For the last several years it has been one incident after another in which your government has gone out of their way to cut benefits for our Veterans, cut services for our Veterans and generally cause them to question the value that your government and you personally place on their contributions to our country. You, your Minister and your government should be ashamed of yourselves.

Tired of the same old, same old? Wish your weekend was something to be envious of? I can make all of your weekend wishes cum true ;) Experience me and you'll be experiencing an explosion of eroticism and pleasure ;) Book some playtime with yours truly tomorrow and make this weekend an epic one ;) A Brief Yet Sexy Description Of Yours Truly Ever dreamt of being with a runway model? Well here's your chance to have one sashay into your room and fulfill your every desire. I am a tall red head with breathtaking blue eyes and legs that are to die for. Heart stopping good looks and a playful demeanor that will leave you begging for more... Sexy Services That Will Blow Your Mind A phenomenal full body massage Body slides that will make you quiver and tremble with desire Reverse massages and the opportunity to run your hands up and down my smooth, silky bod Steamy and sensual showers for 2 Very open to couples sessions Love, love, looove catering to the ladies :wink: PM me for more information on my sexy services ;) Availability And Location (Paradise Spa) Tomorrow from 3:30pm until 11pm (Paradise Spa) Saturday from 9am until 9pm (Paradise Spa) Sunday from 10am until 9pm How To Contact This Sexy Temptress Call to book some sexy time with me at 613-820-8887, PM me, or email me at [email protected] ***Also, be sure to check out my recommendations: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...t=victoriascrt ***

Eli the orangutan picks the Seahawks. :) "SALT LAKE CITY -- A Utah ape that has correctly picked the Super Bowl winner for six straight years is predicting the Seattle Seahawks will be the next NFL champion. Erica Hansen of Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City says Eli the ape ran into an enclosure Thursday and swiftly knocked down a papier-mache helmet bearing the Seahawks logo, signaling his pick. She says there was no hesitation. That could mean bad news for Broncos fans. The 13-year-old primate hasn't been wrong since 2006.." heheh :)

First it was the senate scandle he did not know about it yeh right and then now what he and his party is doing to our veterans who fought long and hard for peace for our country and when it comes time to vote I hope all of us wonderful canadians look back and see what our goverment are doing to our vets Thanks and god bless to our veterans

Petty, punitive politics. That what this government is all about. Someone who can't take responsibility for his own actions, but is constantly trying to shift the blame onto others, could well learn a few lessons about honour and courage from those who've risked their lives on our behalf.

Seeing a new post by Mrrnice2 and discovering he's back on CERB after a year long hiatus. Yay! Great to you back Mrrnice2.

Happy Birthday Tiffany

Hope you have a great birthday Tiffany.

The big problem is the person will get away with very little punishment. There have been many cases where people let dogs die due to serious neglect. Recently a dog in Dartmouth NS was left outside on a leash and he froze to death. I have seen people be fined and prohibited from owning an animal in the future. Not good enough for me. Animals have to say so, when they are abused punishment ought to be very severe.

Let's get all fired up!! Friday's here and I'm ready for some sugar, think you've got what it takes? Let's make this weekend unforgettable, I know I'm ready, are you? Drop by tonight and pour some sugar on me, I want to be sticky and sweet ;) A Brief Yet Sexy Description Of Yours Truly Ever dreamt of being with a runway model? Well here's your chance to have one sashay into your room and fulfill your every desire. I am a tall red head with breathtaking blue eyes and legs that are to die for. Heart stopping good looks and a playful demeanor that will leave you begging for more... Sexy Services That Will Blow Your Mind A phenomenal full body massage Body slides that will make you quiver and tremble with desire Reverse massages and the opportunity to run your hands up and down my smooth, silky bod Steamy and sensual showers for 2 Very open to couples sessions Love, love, looove catering to the ladies :wink: PM me for more information on my sexy services :wink: Availability And Location (Paradise Spa) Today from 3:30pm until 11pm (Paradise Spa) Saturday from 9am until 9pm (Paradise Spa) Sunday from 10am until 9pm How To Contact This Sexy Temptress Call to book some sexy time with me at 613-820-8887, PM me, or email me at [email protected] ***Also, be sure to check out my recommendations: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...t=victoriascrt ***

Happy Birthday Tiffany, hope you enjoy your day!

Happy B Day sweetness. Hope it is filled with your favourite things.

Wishing you a very Happy Birthday and a spectacular year ahead, Tiffany! (And watch out for the Big Bad Wolf!) :)

Happy b-day Tiff! Enjoy your day.

Wishing you a Very Happy Birthday Tiff, Hugs & Kisses, Taylor xoxo

Let This Blue Eye , Dirty Blonde Har Try My New Marvelous Tequniques on u Until 3;30 today 613 274-7073 Let's Start The Week End Proper As you Will See Am An Eye Poper ;) Have A Marvelous Wk End 613 274-7073 Marlie XoXo

Happy Birthday Tiffany Enjoy your special day RG

Your list and mine are probably very similar!

I PROVIDE RELAXATION WITH SOME DIRTY MOMENTS! CUM SEE FOR YOURSELF ! Looking for a sensual yet seductive experience with an MA Goddess ? Well you have cum to the right lady for you! I am beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too! Beauty & Brains! what a bonus . I love to tease and please! I value the favour of being equally pleasured. Sounds like fun doesnt it ? Cum feel my touchably silky, soft, smooth skin, round firm behind, firm naturally 36C big luscious boobies and fully relax & enjoy the erotic pleasure of my services. I invite you to explore true passion & eroticism with me, lets go on some new adventures that will surely take your mind and body on a trip to paradise. My Appearance: 23 year old, long haired brunette, dazzling sexy hazel eyes, lightly tanned, silky smooth skin, I stand at 5'3, 125lbs with curves in all of the right places, 36C perfect tittys!, gorgeous face features and i am Italian & French of nationality. My Personality: Very outgoing, playful, sensual, erotic, seductive, naughty, bubbly, sweet, kinky, classy, talkative, sweet, caring, intelligent, respectful and discreet. WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT IN A SEXY SESSION WITH ME : -erotic sensual & seductive nude massage -great conversation & atmosphere -An ending that is sure to leave you more than happy! -reverse massage -duo massage (2 girls, 4 hands) -soapy showers for 2 -topless massage -bum massages -multiple experiences -pearl necklace release -cob -fetish friendly -dirty talk -foot fetish/worship -strip tease/lap dance (if requested) -outfits, heels, stockings, exotic wear/lingerie (if requested) (Please inquire about my services) V.I.P. Package: For the discerning, classy and upscale gentleman at my discretion. My package includes several different services combined into one package for one price! All services are YMMV! (Please inquire-regarding my VIP services) Fees: (Door Fees Only): 30mins: $50 45mins: $60 60mins: $80 PLUS tipping in the room (please inquire) Location: (Friday): Merivale & Hunt Club. (Incalls Only). Angels Touch Spa. Clean, discreet, upscale & professional. ATM on-site, Free parking, fresh towels, a.c/heat, nice showers in each room & hygienic products for you & I both. Schedule for today (Fri. Jan 31st): Fri: 10am-4pm EMAIL. PM. CALL. TEXT Me for more info or to book your naughty session ! 613-600-3943 (no blocked calls pls Email: [email protected] Personal Website: taylordevine.escort-site.com Angels Touch: 613-274-7074 (Request Taylor) Paradise Spa: 613-820-8887 RECOMMENDATIONS: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...=taylor+devine AD WITH COMMENTS: http://www.cerb.ca/classifieds/ottaw...ue-beauty.html SEXY PICTURES: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=3935 CRAVE TAYLOR BOYS! XOXO MUAHS! CIAO FOR NOW!

Thanks Cristy! If not for this, I'd be doomed to watching only those Leon's commercials that the CRTC deemed appropriate for Canadians.

Friday Tia 9-4 aka "Tiaa.Lovee.x0" Mandy 11-7:30 aka "Candy Mandy" Kassandra 12-4 NEW aka "Kassandra" Cherry 11-6 aka "Cherry Blossom" Pandora 9-4 aka "Pandora" Riley 5-11 aka "Riley Parks" Sasha 3:30-11 aka "Sasha-Paradise" Victoria 3:30-11 aka "victoriasct" Jamie 7-11 aka "Jamie-xo" Samantha 7-11 aka "Naught Samantha" Nina 5-11 aka "Nina Dream" A Special Valentine's Day for you......theme "lingerie".....come spend some well deserved time with our sexy ladies dressed in lingerie...YUM ....All couples massage door fee rates for the day will be at rate of single door fee! BRAND NEW KASSANDRA NEW PICS http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/kassandras-profile/http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=8547 Come welcome New Kandice GFE-MA*** NEW PICS http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/kandices-profile/ http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=8534 NEW PICS TIA http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/tias-profile/ BRAND NEW SABRINA http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=8447 NEW HAZEL NEW PICS http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/hazels-profile/http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=8433 NEW CHLOE NEW PICS http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/chloes-profile/http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=8449 Online Ad check it out http://www.cerb.ca/classifieds/ottaw...2014-news.html New Sexy Pics http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/ Schedule Updated Daily http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/schedule/ Come for a 4 hand massage in our getaway room....an experience you will never forget Ottawa's Best Room! Regular Room spacious and in room shower Single Massage: 30 minutes $55. 45 minutes on special for $65. 60 minutes $80. 90 minutes $120. Duo Massage: 30 minute on special for $80. 45 minute on special for $100. 60 minute on special for $130. Getaway Room Fee: Room Features a hot tub,6 ft custom shower and fireplace for your enjoyment Single Massage: 30 minutes $70. 45 minutes $85. *** $65.00 SPECIAL for rest of January 60 minutes $100. 90 minutes $150. Session time @ Discretion of MA Duo Massage/Couples Massage: 2 Attendant 30 minute $100. 45 minute $120. 60 minute $150. Couples Massage: 1 Attendant 30 minute $70. 45 minute $85. 60 minute $100. HST included in all door fee prices Longer Session times available and at the Discretion of MA Sasha's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=146238 Riley Recommendation http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=162336 Cherry's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=151528 Melody's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=M&t=98753 Mandy's Recommendation http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=120757 Victoria's Recommendations ****NEW http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=V&t=156766 Pandora's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=M&t=75290 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=156274 HIRING.....We seeking attractive hard working ladies! You must be 18 years of age or older to be employed at Paradise Spa. We require proof of legal age and legal eligibility to work via a valid government identification and/or other documentation as required by law. ***ALL MA'S TRAINED BY MASSAGE THERAPIST TOP MASSAGE GUARANTEED! Tia Kassandra-NEW

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! TODAY AVAILABLE 12-1 by appt (VIP, DT, or East) AND WEST 3PM-9PM ALWAYS READY TO GIVE YOU ALL THE BEST!!!! CALL/TEXT 613-261-0054 [email protected] OR PM I am the package that has it all... A Stunning Fit Body.., with Sexy Curves and naturally Soft Tanned Skin... Soft & tasty Kissable Lips... A sexy Exotic look... Non-smoker, I have not only Got experience in the industry.. but also Life experience.. I am well Educated., classy, intelligent and with amazing People Skills... Dedicated and Passionate about everything I do... I am PassionVitto Ottawa's Hottest & Top Latin GFEMA http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=V&t=69954 Tomorrow @VIPSouth 9-5 all day Specials YOUR FAIRY SEXY GODDESS :-) Will give you the Happy Ending You Deserve!

Friday January 31st CMJ Invites you to Attend our Masquerade Ball ! Join us for a Day & Night of Intrigue, Lust and Excitement. Enjoy some Decadence and Luxury while Stunning Ladies Surround You. Food, Drink & Live Entertainment you don't want to miss out! Come UnMask your Pleasures... As always **Noon Till Late** Have you ever seen the Movie Eyes Wide Shut ? Recall the Oh so InFamous Scene?? Join us & enjoy the recreation of this steamy scene by two Stunning Beautiful Ladies... You Absolutely do not want to miss this! Show Times : 2:00PM , 5:00PM , 9:00PM & 11:30PM You don't want to Miss This! Not a Member? That's okay! Simply RSVP to Attend! No door fee! Isn't it Time You Discover Ottawa's Best Kept Secret? PARTY LINEUP 10:00AM - 2:00PM (OR LATER) LUSTY LAYLA KRISTIN AMAYA NIKKI 2:00PM TILL LATE VICKI KIKI LUCY MELODIE INARA STELLA MANDY 4:00PM TILL LATE PEARL *NEW* DAISY *NEW* LAUREN *NEW* PEYTON *NEW* EVANGELINE COURTNEY CASSIE BRIANNA FOOD , DRINK & LIVE ENTERTAINMENT A FEAST FOR ALL YOUR SENSES! WWW.CLUBCMJ.COM For More Info or Call 613-523-6199 Look forward to your company tomorrow! Masks Optional!

Friday January 31st CMJ invites you to Attend Our Masquerade Ball! Join us for a Day & Night of Intrigue, Lust and Excitement. Enjoy a bit of Decadence and Luxury with stunning ladies surrounding you, Food, Drink and Live Entertainment - you don't want to miss out! As always Noon Till Late No Door Fee! No Cost! Not a Member? That's Okay! Simply RSVP to Attend & Find out Exactly what you've been Missing! East will be Closed. Party @West Location.. Food, Drink & Live Entertainment PARTY LINE UP 10:00AM UNTIL 8:00PM ( OR LATER) LAYLA KRISTIN AMAYA NIKKI 2:00PM UNTIL LATE VICKI STELLA KIKI LUCY MELODIE INARA MANDY 4:00PM UNTIL LATE LAUREN *NEW* DAISY *NEW* PEARL *NEW* COURTNEY BRIANNA PEYTON *NEW* EVANGELINE CASSIE You don't want to Miss This! www.clubcmj.com for more info or call 613-523-6199!

my 49ers are out, so I guess i'll take for seattle.

I Love My Job ! I Have recently Started Focusing On Fetish of All Kinds ! I Truly Enjoy Working With My Clients to Peak Their Maximum Curiosity in any Fetish they may desire ! Some Limitations Exist Naturally ! However I'm waiting to hear from you right now Soi We Can Make All your Kiny Desires Become Our Reality ! ** For More Info please text me @ 1-780-333-3535 or email [email protected] ** These methods will be checked faster than my inbox and i'd hate to miss you ! ** Available in Halifax All Week ! TTYS SOON I HOPE !

I saw one that's 10 years older then me. Everyone is different, but I didn't feel as if her age contributed to that difference. She could've been my age and it wouldn't have changed anything imo.

Yes. But I don't know how big the difference was, 'cos I didn't ask :)

Being an escort already IS legal. I pay my taxes as an escort - it's CRA industry code: Other personal services (including Online psychic, escorts, dating, party planning, personal shopping) - 81290. I am also registered for HST and 13% tax is included in my rates. I hatehatehate the assumption that escorts dont pay taxes. I am a self-employed woman running a legal business, and I pay my taxes just like any other business owner.

I have not made it out in a while, just wondering if anyone has recent stories or if they know if it has been busy. The last time I was there some of the girls from a local MP were there and it was a Crazy good time! Additional Comments: I don't know if I am the only one, but I'll try to provide some information here. If somebody wants to correct me or add something, do so because I am not an expert. I don't think this is against CERB rules. Saturday night seems to be the busiest. Winter is busier than summer. It's quiet before 10 or 11. Sometimes it doesn't get bust until after the bar closes. Sometimes it doesn't get bust at all. I would suggest going 3 or 4 times before making a decision about the place. If after 3 or 4 visits you don't like the place, you probably never will. When you walk into the building someone will buzz you into the building. At this time you have choices: you can get a locker, single room, or bigger/ party room. I suggest getting a single room. It's not expensive and serves a few purposes. It gives you a place to hang out if it is quiet, a place to go if you are feeling overwhelmed, a place to go if you hook up. The person at the counter will then give you a key, towel, sheet, and condoms. As a side note bring some sandals with you. You will understand this later. You are expected to change in your room and walk around wearing the towel. No big deal, almost everyone does it. After you settle in your room and change, you are ready to go. Just walk around and explore the building. 3 floors where there may or may not be stuff going on. Some very interesting areas. Don't be disappointed if nothing is going on , and don't be in a rush. I would say stick around for at least 3 or 4 hours to get a feel for the atmosphere. As a side note; Aquarius is coed but started as a gay bath house and a lot of gay men still go there. It is quite possible they will hit on you. If it is not your thing, politely decline. If this bothers you, it's probably not the place for you. Good luck... anymore questions you can always PM me.

Hey guys Its Twyla From Euphoric.. I just wanted everyone to know that we are hearing you complaints about Kayla and just want to inform every one that she is no longer with us. We are sorry to hear about the service that you recived and that is wasnt up to our stands that we offer. We hope that you will come back and try one of our professional and friendly ladies. Hope you see you all Soon!

I had started a previous thread about her here: Beckie & Keira @ ALO? - CERB - Canadian Escort Recommendation Board I have since seen her (but only once, so far), and I can recommend her. She's much cuter than her pictures let on, and curvier too. I love women with large hips, this one has them. She was a great conversationalist, she was comfortable with me right away. She reminded me of a young Christina Hendricks, maybe because of the red hair.

For me personally, it's about balance between the two, actually balance in everything. There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of pleasure and in fact, some people view that as a goal to achieve. I believe we all have lessons to learn in this life and while we may not understand either our own or others, they are just as important and real. Someone that is pursuing pleasure with determined focus may in fact be learning lessons in connection, balance or fear. While someone on the flip side who holds themselves rigid from pleasure may be learning the exact same thing. For me, I need to share something from my pleasure. If someone is simply taking and not sharing enjoyment with me, that pleasure then loses it's appeal where if someone is present and sharing, it amps up all the pleasure found within the pleasures. I also need to remain spiritual within pleasure by listening to my inner voice and being true to that. If I'm not, I find the pleasure principle is removed. M belief is it boils down to individuality and what works for each individual. We are all on our own path of discovery and what works for one may not work for another. Some it's balance some excess in one or the other or perhaps none of either. I think what's unhealthy for us is ignoring the voice inside that directs us and instead following the voice of our ego which is fear driven and existing but not living.

Duo etiquette rules: 1. Choose providers who either have seen each other naked or can stomach seeing each other naked. 2. Choose providers of the same species or genus. For example, do not ask if a provider will work with a chia pet, velociraptor or plank of wood as a duo partner. 3. If you have a kink about clothing, make sure that one or both of the providers do not show up in the same outfit you are wearing. One of you is going to look better and the other will cry just a little bit. 4. Establish well before the encounter who gets to be Batman, who gets to be Robin and who gets to be Alfred the butler. You can't have two Batmans. That's an international convention. 5. Establish a bacon friendly environment. Everyone loves bacon and if they don't, they can't be part of the duo. 6. If you own an iguana and it is fed through an ingenious contraption that automatically dispenses food onto an an awaiting plate, make sure that both providers see and understand. Everyone needs to know about reptile dish function. (or was that erectile dysfunction??? Maybe I heard it wrong.) 7. Gifts are nice but be equal in the distribution. You can't give a bottle of champagne to one provider and a package of lime jello to the other. 8. Nobody is allowed to fart. That's against the rules. 9. If you are playing Risk as part of the encounter, always remember to establish in Australia and secure Siam. That's a guaranteed 3 extra guys every turn. Duo chicks dig Risk. 10. Margarine should never be used as part of a fantasy. Always use premium dairy products, not corn or other vegetable based substitutes. 11. There is no 11, please proceed to 12. 12. I was kidding about 11, there is no 12. 13. Skip the clown fetish. It's weird and will freak EVERYBODY out. 14. Lube and crazy glue should never be kept in the same drawer. Trust me on that. 15. If you are new to the duo game, please don't send pictures of your penis to either partner. You'll get penis cooties and be unable to perform. ... that's what I have so far.... but then again, I am tired.