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I think that asking how one could allow their partner to "sleep around" and pretty much judging other ladies who do have partners is quite offensive. First of all nobody tells me what I am and am not allowed to do. You claim to say that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I don't see how providing an opinion about other SP's lives will get you anywhere. This thread is discussing YOUR opinion of personal relationships and working as an SP. Giving an opinion about YOUR life is great but beware of blatantly disagreeing and putting down other who live differently. This would be why you might feel the need to get defensive. "I simply don't understand a "man" wanting his partner to be with orther men,but to each their own." So not only are you putting "man" in quotations (I don't understand what you are saying, and to not assume the worst that you are saying that a man who does is less of a man) but stating you don't understand. I don't know who asked you, frankly. If you can't do it fine, but as being an SP in a relationship, and a very comfortable one at that, I find it quite offensive, and I rarely get offended. So now not only are you trying to "understand" how other SP's do it, but you are judging the men they are with?!?!?! How can you even come close to understanding, especially in that mindset. "I don't know how someone can do this and maintain a personal relationship,since this business involves sex,how can one person become that aroused?" Me personally I find the more sex I have the hornier I get. Sure some days I am tired and I communicate so, but this is rare. Sex is sex. It is fun, and the more open of a mind you keep about it, the more you will enjoy it. That is my philosophy. I meet my clients with a positive attitude, and thus receive the same from them. Some days I have 4-5 orgasms in a day. That is the perks of my job. "I mean if you are intimate with your partner,then meet with another gentleman or two or three that day I don't understand how one can become genuinely aroused with each man.Perhaps my labido is lower than most(however I don't think so) or are some just great actresses?" How is this not judgmental in the least??? To explain to you HOW I will say that once I am in a state of arousal, an orgasm does not render me not wanting anymore. Once I am in a state of arousal it actually makes my time with clients better. I am "hornified" so to speak. Any orgasms after the first one come faster and easier. If you can't imagine this, maybe you do have a lower libido...Are you saying that your not acting? Yes I will admit I provide a fantasy, and I completely put myself in that role. It's not a big secret that you must "out" us "actresses" on. It doesn't mean I'm "faking" it as you're trying to say, but I put myself in the "Julianna" mindset. I think we are complex human beings, and being an SP lets me play out my "naughty" side. We have many different sides to us. We all have different roles that we play in life. When I'm doing my taxes I am in "accountant" mode. When I am practicing, I am in "fighter" mode. I don't bring my "fighter" self or my "accountant" self to my sessions. I bring my sensual side. I have wonderful clients who make me feel attractive and beautiful, and I feed off that energy. I wear different hats in my life and love my life this way. All in all your initial post didn't really state what YOU think about YOUR OWN life, but rather how much you don't understand how others live differently. If you can't, you can't, its your life and your the only one who lives with the consequences. No need to put the rest of us down. Lots of SP's have relationships outside this line of work, and they make it work for them their own way. As per not being able to turn on or off your emotions and feelings, that is your opinion. Other women such as myself believe in the strength of my brain over my body, and I know that if I go in with a certain "attitude" I will get turned on. Is it a sin to enjoy my clients? I am not acting, I am putting myself in a certain "mindset". I'm not being "fake". I don't consider it "cheating" either. It is always me. It would be quite awkward if I brought "Julianna" home with me while I was cleaning my house, I would turn into some sort of sexy maid ;). I don't do that, I wear my sweats and get down and dirty. When I finish that I have a bath with bubbles and put on some sexy lingerie and perfume and make-up, and then I feel "sexy" and revved up. I love it when I open the door to my client, and they look at me like a Christmas gift ready to be un-wrapped. Selfish? Crazy? Weird? Yes...but it turns me on so sue me... I could go on but I think I covered most points I wanted to cover. Yes this is MY opinion, and I'm giving it. I love my job, my life, my family. All of it comes together is such a beautiful harmonious way. It works for ME. I don't judge others who live differently then I do, nor do I try to "understand" it. I am happy, and wish everyone the same thing. Lots of people wouldn't "understand" how we could be SP's in the first place, because they are close-minded. People like that don't need to know. I wouldn't bring my "SP" self when I go meet clients for my other "regular" business, especially since it is a male-dominated business, and actually need to "downplay" my sexuality, or else they wouldn't take me seriously. I am a professional and give my ALL to everything that I do in my life. I want to be the best and strive for this. Knowing I did a good job, in any part of my life, makes me happy. I definitely do not let my "emotions" rule my life. I am a rational thinker, and always use common sense. I truly believe if you strive to find happiness in anything you do, you will find it, and will in turn be a happier person.I feel so blessed in my life I really couldn't ask for anymore. I get to have my cake and eat it to!!!

I think on the issue of personal relationships, it is one area we should all be judgement free on. This lifestyle is "judged" enough by outsiders. What works for one person, be it lady or gentleman might not work for another. There are no right (or wrong) answers, just everyone's different opinion. And we should all respect one another's decision in this regard, even if their decision isn't the same as ours My 2 second rambling RG

The one thing that GFE does offer is kissing...so if you don't kiss you shouldn't say Your GFE.:icon_wink:

This is a good thread, Sophia. Thanks for opening the discussion. You might consider asking for letters of reference from some of your pet grooming and reflexology clients. Ask them to focus on things like your promptness, attention to detail, attitude, demeanor, how you exceeded their expectations. If you know other groomers and reflexology therapists well enough, you might ask them for letters stating that you had a great reputation in the field and were an asset to the industry. When employers ask why you want to work for them instead of continuing to be self-employed, you might say that, much as you've enjoyed what you were doing, you want to work in a more dynamic environment with different challenges and more people. It can be very lonely to work alone all the time: you'd like to be part of a team where you can work on bigger projects, etc. You might say that you've been taking courses part-time, perhaps just out of personal interest rather than with a specific purpose in mind. Boomer's suggestion about doing some volunteer work is excellent. Find something that really interests you. The range of volunteer options is incredible! After a few months, you should easily be able to use your experience and references to help in your job search. Volunteering shows that you're willing to extend yourself into the community and make a meaningful contribution that's not solely tied income.

Yeah, PayPal isn't "adult" friendly at all. Many SPs now accept Interac email transfers (more and more all the time) and this seems to be an excellent option as long as you understand the ins and outs of it. I find it to be my preference. All you need is a bank account and an email address and you can accept payments electronically and as it's just two people electronically exchanging money (as opposed to using cash) there is no stigma like with PayPal were there are dispute policies to make sure you got the goods or can get your money refunded if you didn't, etc. I fully support an advance deposit via Interac to guard against ignorant no-shows. At least the SP has "something" to show for her time and in most cases this wouldn't be the case, if a gentleman makes an advance deposit, he will show up unless he truly can't.

Hello everyone. My name is Selena and I am curious about something. I would love to get input from the SP as well as the Gentlemen. I provide non rushed GFE but I am really big on being safe with everything. Seems like I am being told by the guys that GFE means you do things unsafely. I am confused! I thought everybody wants to be safe including the Hobbyist. What do you think? I obviously am not changing the way I do things because I am not willing to put myself at risk anymore but I am curious to know this is something all girls offer! I was a little surprised as you can get a number of things giving bbbj without a condom not to mention the guy can get herpes which could easily be transmitted by a cold sore on the lip. Herpes you are stuck with for life, isn't that a worry! Hope to hear everyone's input!!

A really good haircut, and a BBQ to end the day!

Collective sigh of relief from men across Canada!! Porthos

there is this cologne , Givenchi , its in a blue & glass bottle it smells AMAZING , its really gets me going ;) & also , on the plus side , it isnt expensive at all ! perfect for any & everyone !

Since we're on the subject, I would also say that a gentleman with more than one cerb handle also shows suspicious and deceitful behavior. I wonder why so many need more than one identity to post and to contact the ladies... Perhaps that should be a thread of its own? Multiple account users, please feel free to share ;)

An excellent way to reenter the workforce is thru temporary placement agencies. You can be employed by a temp service full time even when you don't always have a placement. Keep an outstanding track record with them and they will give reference for you when something permanent comes up. It also allows you to experience different work environments which gives you the opportunity to broaden your knowledge of what works for you and what doesn't. Most temps are either fresh out of school or women reentering the workforce after having children. It is flexible and most are networked nationally so you can look at positions in other cities as well as locally. cat

I think it's a good thing for you to take a look at your future. I have been out of the workforce for about 12 years now, and for quite a few years considered going back to work, before deciding to officially retire. The problem is that the longer you stay out the harder it is to start again. As for a pension as long as you're doing your I tax you can and should be contributing to an RRSP, the earlier you start the better the return, and you can't rely on a government to live comfortably on when you retire. I've got my 2.6 years in and looking for many more. The recreation time spent with you lovely ladies on a regular basis is one of the reasons that I am optimistic and stay healthy. If you're going to get a job unrelated to this industry, following are a few of my opinions and suggestions. Number one you have to temper your expectations, remember if you have to start in a new industry you're at the entry level, you will only get ahead through time and hard work. Until you do take that first step, taking a few courses works really well. If you need good references I would suggest getting involved in the volunteer community. You will find that you will meet many very community oriented people, gain some very vaiuable experience and some great references. Look around and put a plan in place as to what it is you want and work to that end. As for the five years only you can develop a plausible story, but I would suggest making it as close to the truth as you can. If you start spinning too much of a yarn, it becomes too hard to justify later. Good luck.

Not 100% sure, but I dont think paypal will link to adult sites?? something like that. This is what I found out http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=85151

I quit my mainstream job that had a great pension and benefits plan and don't miss them. Sadly I determined that people within my group were retiring after 30 or 35 years, collecting their pension for 2.6 years on average and then leaving this world. I had at least another 10 years to go to be the minimum age to get my statistically 2.6 years (on average) of pension benefits before I die, so I decided it wasn't for me and now I'll never be able to go back to working for someone else. I'll never be able to make as much money or find as much happiness working for someone else. As for the pension, well it's strictly a matter of discipline to put enough aside for that and the other benefits are easily acquired on the open market if you want the security of having insurance. If you want to or are able to return to working for someone else I think it is wonderful, but working for yourself and being your own boss, well, there is no life like it. When it comes to SPs (from the outside looking in), it seems a bit of a trap just like an actor that gets cast into a particular kind of role and can't find any other. Like Leonard Nimoy who had to write a book "I Am Not Spock" but then we rarely see him elsewhere cast in other roles as hard as he did try to change this it seems in the end he really couldn't. I've seen this discussed a number of times here and it is a challenge to return to the work force once you've experienced the dark side of the force and not having to answer to anyone other than yourself. Hope you achieve whatever you set out to do. Additional comments: I should add that even though I "quit" I still do consult from time to time or even work part time for someone else from time to time (with no benefits) but basically retain the freedom to set my own hours, so you might find a balance between security and freedom like I have, hope so.

Oh yes, I usually have more than one but recently,went out to run errands and then came home to watch a good movie with my chips and dip and my tv ,well doesn't work,it shorted out or something,anyway poor thing died,so I thought I would clean,started vacuuming and it started smoking,well I guess it died to ,so I went out again,came home and there was a message on my phone from my landlord wanting to know about this escort biz!Yes someone has outed me,urrrrg,oh well at least I have no more secrets and now I can go shopping!

Ah, what's life without a little impromptu adventure? Personally I thrive in chaos, so for me "one of those days" is when nothing interesting happens. BORING! *giggle* Posted via Mobile Device

lol,and the beat goes on!I'll hug you anyway.

You're the one who said you "don't understand" how other SP's do certain things, I am merely explaining it to you from a different point of view, in hopes you might see everyone is in fact different. I didn't "condemn" you for anything, I don't know you. I merely see what and how you wrote things. I got "offended" (which was a bad choice of words on my part, my apologies, I think "in disagreement" would be more correct) because you blatantly said you can't understand how other SP's do it in such a condescending air that it really merited a response. As for twisting things....PLEASE...I used your own words I didn't twist anything...I merely made an observation from the things that you wrote. Call me a hypocritical bitch for all I care, I said what I needed to say because you "didn't understand"...I'm explaining it to you. My gosh...if this is what you call someone getting upset...you're putting emotions on me that I do not feel for you. You have never met me, and don't know what me upset looks like. It takes MUCH MUCH more then a cerb post. If I was so upset...I would most likely have PM'd you, but since I wasn't upset in the least I just explained some of the questions you seem to NOT UNDERSTAND. Also I never said being with another woman is wrong...WHATEVER makes people happy is great. Been there, done that got the T-shirt. Sex is a beautiful thing with one person, two people or more ;). I don't judge what other people do in their bedroom and I hope people don't judge me for mine. I never said anything about your kissing, or mine for that matter. I'm sure you're a wonderful provider and perform your services in whatever way you are comfortable. You definitely did NOT only talk about yourself...you CLEARLY spoke of other people's choices, and other people found the things you said quite condescending as well... You can keep your hug frankly...because I don't think I sounded upset in any way shape or form. Stop talking down to people like you know everything. Give me a hug? Come on... Like I always say: Don't DISH it if you can't TAKE it. You said right from the beginning of your post that people might get offended...you must of been expecting something. I think I rebutted your comments in a calm manner and NEVER spoke down about you or the choices you made. I merely had a problem with the way you spoke about OTHER people's choices.

I was flying back to Ottawa a few months ago from LA. There was one connecting flight, through DC, not too big of a deal. Flight to DC was uneventful. Flight from DC to Ottawa was cancelled because of high winds in the east coast. No flight, not even to Toronto or Montreal was available. They offer me to fly to Chicago the next day, and from there to Toronto. Figured I might as well have a deep dish pizza at the airport. I slept that night in the airport, since I had my photography gear with me which I was afraid of getting stolen, I had my backpack wrapped around my body all night which made it very uncomfortable. Next day, flight leaves bright and early in the morning. Reach Chicago on time. I check Toronto, and there are no major weather issues or anything remotely such. So I settle in, get a pizza, walk around the airport, and about 30 minutes to boarding, I go by the gate. I should've checked my ticket and realized that the folks at United didn't really give me a boarding pass, but a ticket to an Air Canada flight. But I was tired. When I looked down and realized I didn't have a seat assigned, I went forward, hoping to maybe sit by a window or aisle seat. No luck, I was told that the flight was overbooked by 20 people because United over booked the Air Canada flight using code share. I was now 24th in line for an empty seat. And the rest of the flights that day weren't any better. I head over to United, determined that they were going to fix this, or at least give me a room to spend the night, since the first available flight from Chicago was 2 days later. Nada on both counts. At this point I got really loopy and just started laughing at everything (it was either that or start yelling my heart out). When the manager came by to see why a very tired looking passenger was laughing his ass of by the ticket counter, he was incredibly apologetic. And then offered me to fly to Philly to to go Toronto (I was just going to drive from Toronto to Ottawa myself if it just meant going back to good old Canada). I checked and double checked that I had boarding passes and not just on stand by on both. He assured me yes for both flights. Flight was in 10 minutes in another terminal. By the time I reached there, the gate was closed. So I had to stand in line for another hour and a half to get my flights changed again. Finally, I was routed through Minneapolis/St Pauls, spend the night there and take the first flight the next day to Toronto. In the end, it took me more then two days to get from LA to Ottawa. I had a direct flight to LA, it took me 5 hrs. I guess mine goes over the day limit, but it was definitely one of those weekends where nothing goes right.

I will..when I can top that!!!

Easy one, Gena :) Earth, Wind and Fire - Let's Groove http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMWfmlp0zfg

I'll try to give you an example. It might not be the best one (most likely not) but it's the only thing I can come up with right now... Let's say you've decided to treat yourself to a night out and go for supper. Your choice for this evening is a casual restaurant offering this able d'hote: 7 layer chip dip served with grilled naan bread Home made chili with sprinkles of cheese on top Home made dessert A 7 layer dip is made with 7 different ingredients. Now, if the restaurant decides to make a dip composed of 2 ingredients with 7 layers I'll be disappointed. Even more so if it comes with regular nacho chips instead of the grilled bread... Not what I was expecting. If the chili turns out to be vegetarian instead of using ground beef I'll also be disappointed as it was not what was advertised (the word vegetarian was omitted). If the dessert was bought through a supplier instead of being homemade I'll be even more disappointed and at this point I don't care what type of music is playing in the background or how many candles are burning and how nice my waiter was. My point? Don't mislead your (potential) clients... If you are SAFE GFE (covered bj only) then say so. If you don't kiss also say so because most gentlemen love this part of the experience and sometimes more than anything else. Vegetarian chili can be very tasty and quite good but not when you are craving a chili with meat in it. It's just not the same!

I have to vote nay. I think as a client, we would generally see the same ladies all the time since there are only twenty lines of ads and once the ladies who had paid, had posted all other ads would be on the subsequent pages. I might be inclined to go directly to page two knowing automatically who to expect on the first. It might discourage the occasional posters as they'd always be page two ads. The rule of unintended consequences As a rule I now browse the ads thru to the start of the day knowing that if busy they do roll over.

and doing this will boost your rep. and post count!

Things have changed somewhat then. When I was there last week, there were several attractive girls onstage. I particularly liked the gal with the long black hair with the day-glo piercing thru her nipples. Who could forget the gal with the short blonde hair who could place both her ankles behind her head....

Hun, you take some of these differences of opinion a little too personally. No one is telling you how to run your business. We are exchanging thoughts, experiences and perspectives. Posted via Mobile Device Additional Comments: Precisely! Debate is NOT synonomous with argue! Posted via Mobile Device

I am Porthos ... a musketeer at heart. I'm a father, husband, son, and try to be what others expect me to be. I feel my responsibilities deeply, and love those around me with great passion and commitment. I have a great capacity to love. I'm hard working, generally good natured, funny and outgoing. I do have a temper, which can be explosive. But like a storm in Newfoundland, it passes quickly and is soon forgotten. It also rarely surfaces and I work hard to keep it that way. I don't like conflict, avoid it whenever possible, but I'm not afraid of it either. I love women. Everything about them. Their smell, their taste, the feel of their skin, the curve of their bodies. That's why I hobby.

I have been accused of not providing a gfe service because I don't offer bbbj,so there are some men who consider bbbj part of the gfe service.I am simply not willing to take the risks and,the more a man uses a condom the less they feel like they have one on,so I have been told.

As tough as this is sometimes to be said and to be heard, this is the reality of what we do. For example, I do a lot of massage and happy ending, as do all mpas I believe. So are we not also providing a loving and sexy touch to someone, but are we also during this massage and hj expecting to be aroused and intimate at the same time? It doesn't make sense to me that sps expect to be aroused, or expect that the encounters are not primarily about the client's needs. An sp who forgets who is the client and who is the provider might end up very confused when that client, who always had a great time with her, stops calling one day. It's about customer service, a good attitude, etc. It is not about which clients give me orgasms, if it were then I would be in the wrong line of work. And I think this gets missed a LOT. This is sex work, we are sex workers. We are not girlfriends or FWBs or anything else. Men (and women) come to see me to avoid judgment and expectations. They come because they do not want to have to impress anyone, or at least some of them do. What of the minority of men who do have PE and ED? Are they going to be disappointed because they know and understand that it is unlikely that I will get to that required level of arousal to make it 'real"? I hope not, because primarily I am there for their needs, and to provide solutions for their reality. Not for my reality. If something happens, cool, but if not, well, then if I have an SO that is where I plan to get my selfish needs on. But when someone pays me real money, hard earned money, or saved up for a special treat, then why shouldn't the focus be on him? We provide a fantasy service, just because it is sexual in nature doesn't make it love and romance. You can't rent or buy love and romance, but you can rent sexual services in a fantasy setting. I do not understand why an sp would assume she has to have a connection, be aroused or even have orgasms to be fully involved, and therefore cannot provide while in a relationship. A professional companion understands the difference, but we do see a number of talented amatuers put up a sign and collect a fee, without this basic understanding. The clients know the difference between sex and love. So as sps/mps it is even more important that we understand the difference as well.

I must say, I'm slightly bemused by this whole thread :) First up, a general principle: a SP's relationship status is none of my damn business. None whatsoever. I've had one or two ladies have mentioned it to me at times, but it has always come from them; it's not a question I'd ever dream of asking. Secondly, as regards things that SPs may or may not do based on their current relationship status: I simply don't care. I judge SPs based purely on how much of a good time I had while I was with them, and although the specific things that we did or didn't do may be part of that judgement, they're by no means the full story. And if something I care about didn't happen, it doesn't matter whether it's because the SP doesn't ever offer it, or just doesn't do so right now because it's reserved for her relationship with someone else, or just didn't choose to do it with me. Her reasons, whether I consider them good or bad, and whether they be temporary or permanent or spur-of-the-moment, are once again none of my damn business.

Sara Jean Underwood again :)

I think there is a fair bit of wisdom in picking your battles. Also, from my experience, a lot of people can dish it out but can't take it. Playing nice has worked well for me.

I liked that one, were you asked for your opinion. If you are invited for dinner and dinner is made for you at someone's home, you may not enjoy what they enjoy eating. So what. Do they ask you if you liked it, and if not, why would you say that you didnt? Why don't you remember instead to simply thank them for inviting you to their home and providing it for you? Because that is the important thing here. And like someone mentioned above, no one is deliberately making a meal that they know for sure is really bad, and that no one wants to eat. They have invested time and effort into pleasing a guest. Anyone who comes in, sits down at the table, then proceeds to show how ungrateful they are for this should never be invited back. Showing manners isn't lying, it is what adults do in polite society. Canadians possibly more so than others, but still, very few people go out of their way to ensure someone else feels bad for something they have done, or something that they cannot control. Constructive suggestions are helpful, but they need not be delivered with a blunt force instrument. cc, I like that you brought the topic back to yourself. I was curious because I think among the first posts you had were responding to some fairly negative comments about yourself. As far as the original posters were concerned tho, those comments were 'brutally honest". But they were honest, in their own minds, not yours. So if you put that out there, wanting to be brutally honest is going to be only according to your own version of events. And your version, like the guys who post 'brutally honest" comments, may not even be the real truth.

Fundamentally we are social creatures. It is through our relationships with our friends and families that we form our identities and we find validation. It's how we define ourselves. Sometimes when we ask a question we're really not seeking the truth, but rather validation. It's always a risk, and sometimes it's a test of friendship: do we get a lie, the truth, or some version of the two. Sometimes absolute truth isn't nice or helpful. That's why it's called brutal honesty. And in my view, if we engage in brutal honesty all the time, then we probably are failing as a friend, spouse, etc. that's why people who are brutally honest often are lonely people. Of course, in their view it's everyone else's fault because they can't deal with the truth. No one, in my view, can claim the right to be the absolute judge of truth. Look at the ladies on this board. All sorts of different body types. Not all of which are attractive to me. But I'm not going to pronounce judgement over too large or too thin, etc. Cause one thing is clear ... I might not think that outfit looks good, or that body type is attractive, but it might be just what someone else considers gorgeous. Sometime being judgmental gets wrapped up in claims of honesty. It really is about context and the strength of the relationships of the people involved. Porthos

The truth according to who? Sometimes the truth is subjective. Example you don't like their cooking, but others do. It would be difficult not to be mean or rude if we all went around telling the "truth" for every little thing as we see it. I'm not suggesting you have to sugar coat everything, but some things are better left unsaid. "Discretion is the better part of valour". As for the last two examples you gave, medicine is not an exact science, and I believe health professionals aim to tell the person and loved ones as accurate a picture that they can foresee for their patients. I am sure at the time both the vet and doctor did think they'd be okay. I have had a cousin who developed brain cancer and her doctor told her she had about a year to live. She actually hung on longer than that, but there was no sugar coating in this case.

Not only that but some things are better left unsaid... To take one of Cristy's examples, I would never dare to tell my host that supper was aweful (no matter how carefully I chose my words) and would most likely just thank them for an interesting dining experience.

Safety is a paramount consideration. To me ? FS, GFE, PSE or combinations are style of services offered by the particular SP. Chemistry and hygiene are further attributes to the experience.

I strongly disagree with this statement. PSE as a style of service has no bearing on the safety of the service performed. This has been covered several times in the forum. See this reference.