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More from Lise Charmel: I love the colours!

... well it is, if you offer your CERB ID as verification to get around identifying your more personal details and there is little or no posting history! A recent thread by VictoriaJolie about posting history being one tool providers use to get to know a client inspired this post, and since this one is more general in nature, I've decided to post it here. As a client, we usually know much more about the lady we are planning to see, until we make an actual booking and provide the information she requires in consideration of our request to see her. I am in amazement of the effort and diligence most, and especially the well-respected, SPs/MAs go through in screening and verification. With a modicum of information and references, they must decide if they will grant your request for a meeting, based on a myriad of factors and a 'gut feel' about you, the person, never having met prior, and not knowing too much else besides these few bits that they ask for in their ads or on their websites. I believe that the majority of clients on the board are sophisticated and wise to the ways of treating the ladies with respect, having read widely among the various forums, but there are some bad apples out there. How is a provider to know from whom she is getting an inquiry or booking? You will fare much better if you give her signs and assurances of your good intentions early on and by playing by her rules. Don't forget, she is sharing her most intimate self with an almost complete stranger and is entrusting you to do your part in that bargain. We both want the same things, but providers, beyond needing to feel safe, of course want that encounter to be in an environment where they themselves are comfortable to give you the best time of all - and so you should care, too. Contacting a lady for a booking and showing with every action and word (rudeness, brashness, ignorance, laziness, etc.) that you haven't bothered to check her website or ad post is the first red flag to the lady that there may be things she doesn't know that would worry her if she did, and this puts her on guard with you right from the start - generally not the best way to initiate a dialogue. Taking care to consider all the points of etiquette and following her preferred method of setting up an appointment will make the lady's life much easier and will assure her that you take her concerns for safety and peace of mind to heart. It will be like magically becoming a lottery winner ;-), meaning that she will appreciate when you meet that you had already established yourself from the start as a respectful and diligent client worthy of her time. I know it is not everyone's wish or goal to become an active and prolific poster, but it does help the ladies get a glimpse of the person behind a handle. Having no posts doesn't. Just think of the ways in which you select the lady of your choice - maybe by her beautifully written ad, her many glowing recommendations by other clients, her gorgeous photo album, or the well-crafted website that she spent so much time building. There are other ways to distinguish yourself and get a good or even high standing besides that, of course. Which route you choose to take is yours to decide ... but giving her the comfort level about you - in one way or another, making her feel like you respect her wishes and her need to feel safe and at ease, will put you miles ahead right from the start. And that is likely to reap significant good will on her part and generally, IMHO, yield to better client-provider relations! Pun absolutely intended! ;) A #nobrainer? I think so! :D FR P.S. Apologies for the intial 2-paragraph ramble. It's mostly all been said before in different ways, but it helps to refresh this from time to time in the 'New to this?' forum.

Best site for porn, http://mr-desi.com/fun_pages/freeporn.html

Due to popular demand, I will be once again co-hosting a fall social for both male and female CERB members in good standing on Thursday, September 13th in Ottawa. Since this is being organized by CERB members for other CERB members, please do not bother the MOD about this event. It will be held a centrally located venue in Ottawa. It will be in a reserved room of a public bar/restaurant. It will run from approximately 6:30 p.m. until closing time. There will be a variety of music played and dancing will be encouraged. There will be a limit of 50 spots available (ideally 25 gents/25 ladies), on a first-come, first-served basis to those members in good standing who have some presence on the board or in the hobby (if you have a low post count, but good rep, that's all we care about). There will be a cost for gents to attend and tickets will be available starting in mid-August. You will be able to pay by e-mail money transfer, postal money order or cash (in person). The price of the tickets will be determined at that time as well. This is to cover drinks for the ladies, appetizers, door prizes and other expenses associated with organizing these events. There will be no cost to the ladies to attend, however we will be doing things a bit differently this time. Due to the popularity of past events and the fact there are some ladies we had to turn away because we were full, if you are such a lady, you will be given first priority this time. I kept a list from last time. And ladies, for those of you who said you wanted to attend and then did not even extend us the courtesy of letting us know beforehand (or even afterwards) that you couldn't attend, please do not embarass yourself by asking to come this time. We have more people wanting to attend, than spots available and you had your chance, sorry.:confused0024: This also applies to the gents who I said could pay at the door last minute and didn't show either. I do not wish to make this a sore point or create any controversy - it's just something that had to be said. Moving on to a more positive note - looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones. This is a meet and greet social event in a public venue (no hanky panky :)) and as with past events, expect all attendees to behave accordingly. Remember, CERB members from all across Canada (and elsewhere) are welcome to attend. If you think you might like to join us, feel free to pm and let me know. Angela of Ottawa Your humble social organizer.

So I am curious as to what cold beverages you indulge in when it's warm and sunny outside in the summer months. Me I like to sip on sour apple martinis on an outdoor patio and also ice tea with lemon..

I knwo there have been several topics on this discussion but that brings me to the point on the topic. Why do you guys still ask to negotiate rates/services/guidelines For the last couple months I have had a member continue to make apointments with me and break them because he is ''nervous'' I explained to him that although I understand that this being his first time and nerves can be a factor, my time is valued and short notice cancelling is kind of an insult after the third time. I have to take some responsibility on this as well for giving him so many chances. But needless to say it is still not nice etiquette. Last night we were finally going to meet up for the last night on my special pricing. Than he wasn't able to meet my simple requirement of phoning to confirm the appointment because he doesn't want to use the cell phone his girlfriend and him share. I know we live in a world of high tech cell phone use but tehre are still pay phones in the area where I live that are able to be used. Than he told me that he would still come see me and pay my asking price but ONLY IF from the moment he got here til our hour is up that I ''suck his dick from start to finish even if he cums'' That right there to me was the end of my niceness. I explained to him that I am not a hoover and that is not how I operate my services. Than he tried to ask if instead of that option could he just pay me 100 dollars since he would HAVE TO take a cab to my place and back and thats going to cost money, and also would it be extra if he took a nother girl with him. Than I simply explained that I don't think I am the right girl for what he is looking for. And he send back a simple reply that says ''Ok :S" I guess that is supposed to be a confused face. What confuses me is how he is so confused? I have told him since we started communicating that I WILL NOT negotiate my rates nor will I accomodate his ridiclious requests just because he has to pay to make it to my location. I explained I am not in need for his money and I deserve what I ask for. I just don't get why after being told so many different times does he continue to ask such silly stupid questions! The most insulting thing is when he TELLS ME that he will pay me my requested amount but only if I do what he says for the hour. This is obvious not the type of client I want to deal with and I am glad in a way that he presented himself like this to avoid the awkwardness of dealing with this face to face but I find it extremely insulting that he seems to think because he is paying for me that I do what he wants or no deal.... Geez oh geez..

Hello Angela Would love to attend, but can't make the fall social...but 90% sure I'll be attending a Christmas Social, if there is one...hint hint But would you like a donation for some door prizes, at least I'll be there in spirit. As for getting them to you, I can give them to you when we next meet, next week :-) RG

I have a few which I remove from my photos for privacy reasons. I'm super excited for the fall when I have my next tattoo appointment :D

I love my tattoos. They all have meaning, and whenever i look at them i remember that period in my life, I can look back and smile. The one i have that takes up my whole left thigh is my fave, it was birthday present from a very close friend who drew it and tatooed it just for me. I represents me and my story; my life and who i am. I know no one will ever have that tattoo, its mine and mine alone. It is a life changing experience getting one, it changes you as you now have a marker in time, i.e. before this tattoo and after. Its almost like taking a photograph to me, freezing a moment in time. I have 8, i will always remember who i was with and what i was doing at that time in my life when i got them . I look at them its like looking back fondly over a scrapbook of my life, mementos that are always with me. To me,they symbolize something important to the wearer, something they want to express to the world. I always loved tattoos, I come from a place where almost everyone has quite a few, full bodies even. I'm done getting new tattoos, i might add to my existing ones, but at this time i think im done, except for my father's tattoo's. I think my love affair with ink started as a young child looking at his arms, i was fascinated with their beauty and begged for one ever since i can remember. I was with him when i got my first one, it was a great day i will always remember and cherish , it's truly one of my best memories. I always told him when he passes i will get his tattoos, maybe even in the same places as a tribute to the greatest man i have ever known :) To me thats what tattoos are a tribute on your body to someone or something that's eternal. To love/cherish something that much is true beauty.

My CERB Goddess Of The Day today is Jhena Grey. A lady who makes positive contributions to CERB, and one I've played with (the music threads and word game that is :-) ) Jhena's Profile http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=62047 Here's a photo of the lovely Jhena Oh ok, here's a second one :-) RG

JUST DO IT !!! then let us all know ;)

Amelia you will likely appreciate this little ditty from Christine Lavin and the Four Bitchin' Babes: Sadly for me my maternal grandfather had a full head of hair! J

Beck's Non Alcoholic beer (I can't touch alcohol, this has 0% alcohol, and tastes the way I remember beer tasting) Water Occasionally a chocolate milkshake from the Dairy Queen...but occasionally only RG

Shake That Body - Technotronic

I have these!!

:hump: Good Evening Well once again I had a wonderful time in Halifax. I met some awesome new people and as always its my pleasure to see old friends! The weather was a mixed bag this trip...but oh well..we were inside anyway...LOL I have decided to stay and spend my Birthday here...hope for good weather! I will be back in Oct for some fall fun! Till then, Thank You All, XOXOX Shelly Lane

I think it is an option available on CERB: only visible to those who are your CERB friends. It is worth repeating: was is on the Internet is out there forever. Best, toine

Thanks very much for that insightful post Cat. Curious though... can you define "square" in this context? I know about these of course, but I'm not sure if they cover what you mean here: - A noticeably unhip, mainstream individual, a straight. Someone either ignorant or disinterested of underground subcultures. The antithesis of a hipster. - A person who is regarded as dull, rigidly conventional, and out of touch with current trends.

Great review Luckyme and thanks for sharing. I have seen this angel too but it has been a while since but your great review reminds me that another date with this lovely angel is long overdue not to mention it is so hard to find a natural redhead these days lol.

Mmmm black stockings and fishnets always make me feel so sexy ... Love them! Such a nice touch :)

If you found out that someone you were involved with had been a veterinarian, would it affect your relationship? A dentist? A physicist? No? So why would another occupation she might have had bother you? Think seriously about this. Tease out exactly what it is that you're hung up on, don't just settle for a sense of vague, undefined discomfort. If it's "she'd have slept with a lot of guys other than me", this could be equally true of any partner you meet. But it doesn't matter, because those events were in the past. You just need to worry about your relationship, in the present. If her past experience really bothers you now, then you're sexually insecure. The problem isn't her; it's you. If it's "she was intimate with men and took money for it", then you need to examine your attitude toward the women whose company you (presumably) pay for from time to time. There's nothing wrong with the work an SP does, and she's not cheapened by having done it. If you can't accept that, please stop seeing SPs. Me? Frankly I would admire the implied sexual maturity and her comfort with her sexual self, and 'd be happy for what she might be able to teach me because her experience would be far vaster than my own. If she was willing to share I'd love to hear her stories, because she'd have learned many, many, many first-hand lessons about human behaviour I'll likely never be in a position to learn myself. But mostly I wouldn't really care, because I'd be dating a whole person, all of her, as she is today, and as she wants to be tomorrow; and there's infinitely more to know and love and care about her than how she once chose (or chooses) to make her living. I'll leave aside the "but what if you'd seen her as an SP first?" because that falls into the same old "I've fallen in love with my SP!" discussion for the gazillionth time, and Search can provide all the insight you need.

What is golf?

Debts, mine and ALL of my family members first and foremost. I would donate to a few causes close to my heart. I would travel for a year and have a blast and then settle down and open an animal shelter for all species :)

Yes, I have found myself in this situation many times in the past. It is awkward to say the least! I think for some people "unrushed" has become code for MSOG?? I now started to ask the gentlemen when they are booking their appt, if they are wanting MSOG or more intimacy. I have found this does help me to organize my time with him. I also ask him, if he is a sensitive type, so that I can gage how intensely I can perform. When booking 1 hour appt, I like to get the first one out of the way to leave plenty of time to start again. I also remind them that a second time can be difficult and I can not guarantee success. For that matter, I do not like to guarantee anything. As some people arrive feeling blue, stressed and have their mind on other issues. But will guarantee an honest go at it! When I book 2 hours , then I will certainly expect to perform at least 2 times. Again asking the Gentlemen ahead of time how he wants our 2 hour date to be. Is he wanting MSOG or one long sensual experience? As for clock watching, I do not watch it too closely. But half ay threw our session, I like to remind them on how much time we have left and then will ask how we should spend our remaining time together. I also leave plenty of time between appt, just in case my Gentlemen would like to extend his time with me. So much can wrong when communication is not flowing:( It is vital for us to communicate what we want and expect in a date. Sp's are generally good mind readers, but you still need to be able to communicate what it is you want from our session with you. It sounds like you made a nice 2 hour date with your client. Hopefully he can learn from this and communicate his needs better to the next date?

Touch beat me to it today with some beautiful silk pieces, and as I was trolling around for another idea I came across this collection from Lise Charmel, which I found on http://www.lingerieform.org. Seems like a nice way to add a splash of color to a white summer dress!

...Every winter I provide a "Fur Coat - No Nickers" tour for the many gentlemen who adore a Fuzzy Beaver! ;)

Aw.. thanks! I do try to not be labelled a 'retired' pornstar.. but to you Easterners.. I'm planning a trip out your way this summer. I hope in August. I will be available for videoing with clients as well for an extra fee if you're interested.

Lust, anger, passion, boredom, accomplishments, regrets,excitement, companion, room mate, soul mate, illness, lonelyness, contempt, adoration, best friend and sometimes enemy, monogamy and infidelity all part of my 36 years of marriage, i believe in love but realize it has many faces !

A beautiful woman wearing exquisite lingerie...

Personal happiness and fulfilling relationships are entirely achievable -- but you knew that already. I think the real question is "how are they achieved?", and that's more complicated. Let me start by saying that relationships with SPs can be *very* rewarding and honest and valuable, but they do come with built-in limitations. They're a bit like relationships with training wheels, because they have such safe, clearly defined boundaries, and because the relationship is only there for a few hours at a time when you want it, and it's never there and places no demands on you when you don't. You can learn a lot about yourself and how it's possible to behave intimately with others in a client-SP relationship; but I think those are lessons we need to carry into other "real" relationships, rather than settling on those relationships as the final product. In other posts I've compared the client-SP relationship to the one you might have with a psychotherapist: the professional you're seeing is a real, whole person, and probably really does care about you, and you can have some very honest and intimate and important exchanges about really important things -- BUT it's still a professional relationship, it only happens within specific boundaries, and it only happens one all-too-brief appointment at a time. Your psychotherapist cares about you, and can play an important, healthy role in your life, but she's not literally your *friend*, she's your therapist. I'm certain that SPs can genuinely come to care about the clients they see often enough to get to know, but the same limitations apply. Other relationships: yeah, marriage is pretty disposable these days. I've posted at least once before here about the withering away of traditional institutions, and that we tend to look first to our individual fulfillment and happiness. In many ways that's a very good thing; being trapped within a broken institution (marriage, church, whatever) ruined many, many lives during the long period when nobody dared challenge those institutions. But on the other hand, putting ourselves first can make us give up on the things we belong to sooner than we should. You just need to find good, well-grounded people who are able to take care of themselves but also commit to, and make sacrifices for, the relationship and the life you can build together. And of course you need to be that person too: willing to compromise, work with the assets your partner brings, and forgive him or her for any weaknesses. It varies with the couple, but sometimes sex plays only the teeniest, tiniest role in that life. That's why the carnal joys of that first glow in the early days of a relationship may be a terrible predictor of how you're going to do together long-term. They're two whole different sets of skills and assets. I never married either. Explaining why would make this long post even longer, so we'll skip that. Really short version would be that I was a late bloomer -- in some respects, *too* late. I sometimes envy the people who found each other in their early 20s, married, and built a life and family together right from the start. By the time you're in your 30s and 40s, you're already off that path and the thing you're looking to build is different than it was in your 20s. But on the other hand, as you say, there are at more disastrous early marriages than there are success stories. You've just got to keep looking for mature, well-grounded people, those who aren't grasping or materialistic, who have some wisdom about them and have grown from their experiences in life. And agree to build a life together, and have fun seeing what that cooperative effort looks like, instead of using the relationship solely to complete our own personal, rigid checklists. The life you build with someone else is going to look different from the one you'd build solo; that's the cost and the benefit of involving someone else in the project. I think that coming to terms with that is one of the hurdles that gives many people trouble. The pool of such people isn't that large, it's true. And they grow harder to find as time passes. But it's worth the effort, and I know that these relationships do happen.

The trick is to not reveal so much that I give away my "secret identity". Here goes: 1. My first cat came into my life via an open window, begging for food and with a fishhook in his mouth. The people we lived with at the time named him "Hooker". 2. Later, my (then) wife and I moved into a place of our own. Sometimes the cat would not come home. She would drag me out onto the street to call for it. "Hooker ... Hooker ..." Yeah, the neighbours didn't talk to us much. 3. After awhile, she thought it a good idea to change the cats name. Having been recently "born again", she decided on "St. Francis". So then I'm trolling the streets yelling "St. Francis ... St. Francis ...". The neighbours still didn't talk to me. 4. We raised three beautiful children together. She died of cancer several years ago. I was holding it together on the outside, but pretty messed up for awhile both before and after. 5. Thankfully, I found a wonderful woman (via the Internet) and remarried. I'm in my fifties now, but she is younger and being with her encourages me to think and act young. She also loves sex. I am a very lucky guy! 6. We deliberately left out of our wedding vows anything to do with monogamy or fidelity. This was her suggestion, and it was fine by me! 7. My best friend in grade 5 is still my best friend today. We live many miles apart and often don't see each other for months or even years. But whenever we do, it's as if no time has past. 8. I was a nerd in elementary and high school. And punished for it! But I always kept in mind what it says in the Bible: "The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth" (or something like that). 9. I went to a Catholic elementary school. I still have visions of nuns hovering along the halls. Apparently, they've evolved feet since then. 10. The nuns imparted upon me a strong sense of morality and ethics. (Ok, maybe those lessons didn't take -- I am a member of CERB after all!) Well, that's a start. Perhaps more a little later. Must get to work now ... it pays the bills. (I am, however, quite fortunate to have been steadily employed doing work that interests and challenges me, for a company that has been good to me for many many years!) Love this thread ... it's been interesting getting to know everyone!

I also love this style: It's beautiful and obviously not as structured as some of my other favourites.

We may ask for your full name,number etc..but there are other ways around it..PROVIDE REFERENCES. We just want everyone to be safe..yourself included. I'm sure YOU wouldn't just call any ol number of a provider without checking her out first. I'm in NYC right now and have no problem getting the guys full name and or references..usually both. I was supposed to go to Long Island too but with all the bodies being found of presumed prostitutes i won't take a chance even if i did get all the necessary info. You have to understand that not everyone gets us...some still think of us as druggies or drunks working for pimps without a mind of our own. We need to feel safe and secure in our chosen career because that's exactly what it is our choice of career. Would you work for someone you didn't know at all? Emma