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Proud to announce the grand opening of Studio Saint John! I have been very busy bee, secretively working on my new studio! It has been a long awaited journey, and hope that we will enjoy our secret love nest! :tongue: . A place that is dedicated to hosting for a gentlemen's get-a-way. Our secret garden, an oasis of relaxation and intimate moments. Spacious studio with modern décor with a special touch of charm! Studio STJ is a unique concept that is versatile for overnight visits or just a quick afternoon delight. Studio STJ has all the amenities you require for a cozy visit! Massage room with all hot spa equipment, a lounge room for wonderful chats, and a romance room . Brand new furniture that will give you all the comfort of an upscale location. A full kitchen available for evening dinner dates or over nights. :grin: If all goes as planned I will host my first visitors TUESDAY APRIL 14TH 30/30 Duo may be also an option...stay tuned! It must be understood that all enquires will need to pass through a very secure booking method. I will NOT disclose any information on location if: 1. you are using an app 2. if you are using pay phone 3. if you have blocked number, I will ask you to send txt first. :whip: ALL CONFIRMATIONS will have a 2 call system, this is txt/call for confirmation THEN ... I will call you right back with location details! This is to ensure that you are booking with a proper number. I truly believe that you will enjoy your visit at Studio STJ, and hope to provide you with all the comforts of paradise you look for in Gentlemen's get-a-way! Send a pm to enquire for Tuesday bookings. and with whom the 30/30 offer is including:) Visit my site for more details and options of massage or entertainment packages available for you to enjoy! http://www.ladysophiaclassic.com/ 506 261 7313

I think you're conflating two situations here. There's also an issue with visibility. The ladies (and guys) to whom the new laws make no difference are the indoor workers, especially the independent ones, and their clients. They can still meet and have fun much as they did before. Different aspects of what they're doing may now be technically illegal, but that makes no difference. There are inconveniences (advertizing has become trickier, as has screening) but these can be worked around, especially by an established escort. We hear a lot from those people here, because those people make up the bulk of the population of this board. The harm, as with most laws like this, is visited primarily on those without the resources to work around the laws; in particular, the street workers. I don't suppose advertizing is an issue for them, but screening is another matter entirely; the new laws have made potential clients more nervous, which makes it that much harder for the street worker to make sure she's not getting into a car with the next Robert Pickton. The sex-work organizations are far more cognizant of these problems than the likes of us; in particular, we don't hear from the people most affected by the new laws because they don't post here. I am also unwilling to call it. This will play out over years, not weeks or months. I do not see this, particularly. Sure, there were changes when the new law went into effect, and adjustments will continue to be made, but I don't see anything major. LE continue to do occasional sweeps to generate some headlines and convince the pearl-clutchers that Something Is Being Done, but they did that with the old laws too. There's a lot of bad jobs out there. What you're talking about here is less sex work in particular, and more wholesale changes to society. It's time to make a confession: I'm guilty of exploiting someone else's economic circumstances. I pay a woman, on a regular basis, to do something that I'm ashamed to say I just can't face doing for myself, and which I'd certainly never do for anyone else unless I were truly desperate. I don't know whether she enjoys it, or whether it's what she wants to be doing with her life; I don't know how much of the money I give her she keeps and how much goes to the guy who I call to arrange her visits. She cleans my house.

What annoys me is the myth that addicts, trafficking victims, assholes and predators are the sum total of this industry, or even a majority. A dark side that exists? Absolutely. A significant problem? For sure. The whole story? I still maintain that's crap. Unfortunately there's a significant abolitionist lobby dedicated to propagating that particular lie, and historically they've been ahead of the pro-sex-work organizations in terms of audience and mindshare. But as I said, that's changing, slowly. This is true, but that doesn't mean these things don't happen, or even that they aren't common. It just mean that society doesn't know what's going on. Also true, but it won't happen on its own. That's why the pro-sex-work organizations are so important. But that doesn't mean these stories are the mainstream; all the documentaries prove are that they exist. So why don't we get documentaries about the good stuff and the happy people? Two reasons, I think: the abolitionists have a lead in their propaganda war, and more importantly, a documentary about happy people who are content with their lives makes for really boring television and nobody would watch it. Netflix and cable companies exist to make money; boring documentaries that nobody will watch will get canned. Only if you're trying to do the abolitionists' work for them. What should get the spotlight is the truth, not the outliers that tug at the heartstrings. Alas, the truth is often rather dull as well as being hugely detrimental to the abolitionist lobby's goals, so it gets overlooked. Where to start with this? First: what most sex-work activists are arguing for is not legalization, but decriminalization. There's a big difference. As for the pimps... sure, perhaps they're excited by the prospect of coming out of the shadows, but I'm not sure they've thought this through. They're successful at the moment precisely because of the criminalization of the industry, which has two huge consequences; it keeps many potential entrepreneurs out, thus removing competition for the pimps; and it keeps the women working for them scared to go to anyone who might help them improve their situation. As soon as the industry is either decriminalized or legalized, these advantages vanish; other people will come in to set up agencies and brothels that will give the escorts somewhere else to work, and women who are abused or coerced will be far more willing to report that to LE now that the threat of being prosecuted themselves has been removed. It's not about sweeping anything under the rug; it's about making life better for everyone, especially those who most need it. I fail to see the relevance of this to the present conversation. We're talking about sex work. Nobody has proposed raping children. You could probably get away with throwing out a red herring like that on an abolitionist forum; here, you'll be asked to explain yourself. And thus do a few bad apples screw things up for the majority of decent people. Life is like that.

i have to agree with cc, because age is just a number. In my ads when i can i specify 'mature'. I am not talking about a specific age or age range, but a mature attitude. Whether someone is 20 or 80, they can either be an arrogant jacka$$ or a gentleman. I'll see the gentlemen, whether they happen to also be 20, or 80, doesn't matter to me. For the OP, i am guessing it has already been mentioned, but my advice to anyone who is concerned about their age, just choose sps or MAs who are 35 plus. I think mentally you would be more comfortable, and if that sp/MA also has a few extra pounds, even more so. one thing you will notice they have in common is self confidence, even when they aren't 20 or perfect any more, and that confidence will rub off on you, in more ways than one :)

It was censored as two ladies were putting stuff like 'c t e a s' 'c o c t e a s e' etc... I am going to remove it from the list now that we have educated those ladies on the new laws. I had to be extra vigilant at first with the censors and I am slowly backing them off as we go.

As a new member myself, I am already discovering that I need to invest a lot of time into research and even then, when you communicate, it's important to be brutally honest. This applies to an e-mail or PM but, as I am discovering, it also requires the SP MA to be honest. Don't sugar coat it ladies because you feel it necessary or maybe it can still be overlooked. If for any reason, either party is not 100% comfortable or you get a "gut feeling" that sincerity is not there, best to move on. You reap what you sow they say. Another thing I have also learned is that I need to "cool it" and not behave like a kid in a candy shop who wants his candy right away like a spoiled child. Better to cool my jets, relax, it will happen. By doing this, it takes much pressure off, no need to jump to commitment on your first promising reply. I wanted to write a special thank you for this post because I have learned from it and it has changed how I approach all this. It would seem that research and patience are key. As they say.... "The best things in life are worth waiting for." And if I might add... will be twice as sweet. :) Thank you!

#ChooseBeautiful Spring is in the air! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/07/dove-beauty-choose-beautiful-campaign-video_n_7010178.html

This is a great thread and everyone has made valid points. We all want things to improve, know what is truly going on. Yet we all see what is going on in society slightly different, to be expected, since we all have different interactions with society. I feel society does know what is going on, as well. Not everyone has their head in the sand, believes in the myths and that the negativity's are the majority. However, those negative aspects of the business are what many will use against this profession to convince many it shouldn't be accepted or acceptable and it is those negativities that are always shown in the news or brought to light in discussions which favor this profession. They'd never do stories on "happy companions" or "happy clients", that would defeat their purpose. I feel some in society simply dislike the business because they feel it encourages cheating, and other sexual "no no's, that some are taught to be bad. Until the general opinion of sex changes, until it is accepted as a need, can be marketed, that sharing it is okay and we do it for more reasons that to procreate, and that it is okay to do it with someone you aren't coupled or married to, until then, many will be against this business. I think it is these reasons that many are against it and uncaring towards clients thoughts or needs, more than the issues with it's seedy side. Sex is still a scary subject for many. someday soon I'm hoping it'll be thought of as another biological need, just as eating and sleeping are and just as we all need different foods to maintain our health, many need different forms of sexual gratification, different partners, and at different times and amounts.

I'm far from a noob, but Cerb has changed my life because as a companion it's a draining job sometimes. Yes, I do love my work otherwise I would have quit a long time ago, however this is a customer service job and anyone who has worked a customer service job knows that you can love your job but sometimes loathe your customers. The truth is that there are some gents out there who are rude, aggressive, and maliciously gossip like venomous schoolgirls on the review sites, often telling a very slanted version of the truth. This is hard to cope with and Cerb is a haven free from the negativity, the ego cases and the narcissists who honestly believe it is acceptable to bash ladies and even compromise their personal information. It has been a place for me to engage in a friendly and respectful discourse with a number of fellow ladies and gentlemen. Cerb is a community not a review board. Ladies are not asked to pay large sums of money to be allowed to post and contribute as is the case on most other boards. As a result this site is not a boy's club but a true community. And that is so very refreshing. Thanks to Cerb, I have made friendly professional connections with some truly admirable women, and have met some amazing men whom I have been privileged to spend time with. I have shared opinions and had my voice heard and in turn have heard others. This place is unique and it's a treasure to me. I think many feel the same, which is why after so many years, it's going strong and continues to grow.

Agency: Get ready for work in the morning, shower, do hair and make up, have 2-3 appointments in the day, close your phone, go home and forget about everything Indy: Get up and shower, posts ads on various website and updated it, keep up with social medias, answer emails, phone calls and texts from various people, from a bunch that will waste your time. Do hair and make up, get your incall location ready and clean, have appointments, clean up, do the laundry , keep up with emails again and I could continue. I do prefer to be independent as I can chose to advertise the way I want, the rates I want and chose people that I want to see. However I do understand why some girls would prefer to go with an agency. It can pretty much be a 9-5 type of jobs, while being an Indy is 24/7 job. For example if you don't answer your emails in a timely fashion some potential clients may just move on to the next person if you don't answer

Thank you for sharing this. All the old cliches and adages about beauty being skin-deep and real beauty being in self-confidence and a good character are true. Sometimes we forget this. Men are told to be manly and have a certain physique and women are told to be feminine and have a certain physique, but we often forget to just be ourselves and embrace the joy and freedom that comes with that.

Sens win, I'm so happy. What a great time for Ottawa hockey fans.

These people got 192K from Harper/Mckay, i believe the announcement indicated it is the first of the 20million given out http://www.lacles.org/ Stella Montreal got exactly nothing. I don't read French so no idea what they are promising, but the one pic tells me this is an abolition group. Whether they have any real services would be for someone who can read it better than I. I have not heard of a single rescue organization that does or can do more than hand out information or take a phone call report. The idea of them is to provide info to sex workers by telling them who can (maybe) actually help them. One thing we are also seeing is more and more sps assaulted and robbed by small gangs, since C36. I don't think it is a coincidence. If you consider some good clients naturally drop out of seeing sps, that leaves, as expected, sps still needing more appts, so what could sound great (2 guys paying more than what she's normally getting from one), ends up being her undoing. Saying yes when before December she would have said no.

I do not know many who hasn't enjoyed the city! :D Don't be afraid to ask other questions here too, there's plenty of first hand information that could come up ...

10:20 am Hey, can I see you in 20 minutes? I like your profile. 10:22 am sorry, somethings come up. Next day 12:00 pm can I see you at 7pm? No contact..... 2:01 pm hey can I see you tonight? Um, I might be busy tonight...

I'd like to politely disagree because.... What I like most about myself is my ability to say what is on my mind at any point and to anyone. If I were to say age is just a number, I wouldn't say it if that's not what I meant, at a gain or loss and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I won't kiss anyone's ass nor will I pretend to like something or someone just to make a buck. Doing so never brings positive results. I think honesty in this business, with oneself and with whom you meet, is the only way to go. Sucking up to a particular person, "type" or age group just to get business never results in favorable outcomes, imo and from my experience. I'd rather meet with one I have compatibility and chemistry with rather than 5 I don't.

I can also confirm that it is the same Ava that had ads before... she did step back from the business for a while but is back now.... she is a very nice. Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

Its fast approaching, I'll be arriving in NB next week, and am looking forward to catching up with you! I shall be visiting Saint John April 13-15 Fredericton April 16-18 and available for incall to my upscale, downtown suite while I am in town In case we've not yet had the pleasure.. I'm a 5'6 true brunette, with a movie star smile and bright gorgeous eyes that you'll love to have look back up at you.. With a toned, and moderately tattooed all natural body that I love to show off and share with certain respectful gentlemen and couples, Let my body be your playground.. I offer my sensual, pampering attention for those who appreciate the sweeter, softer side of a lady; and a wild, naughtier experience for those with more... curious tastes :p Openminded and genuine, I love to indulge fantasies, from the vanilla to things a bit more intense, my true passion is pleasing my guests! With a wardrobe to captivate many tastes, and accessories for both of our pleasures, the possibilities for pleasure are endless, just share with me what you might enjoy, and I'll take care of the rest! Don't just take my word for it; a few good words here.. http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=110533 Shower, amenities, and even a fresh pouf are available if you'd like freshen up before or after our date ;) **Ask about duos in Fredericton! You won't want to miss out! Please visit my site for details on what I offer, exclusive member's content and more, or pm/email for more info! xx

Let none of us believe that the issue raised in the initial post is a simple one. Most of us to this point have addressed this from our own personal perspective and from a Cerb perspective as is quite natural. When one thinks back to the initial debate, and I use the term with sarcasm, the talk was that this legislation is dangerous, that it would cause harm to sex workers, it would force them to back alleys and that it would kill women. As the legislation came closer to being proclaimed and since, the discussion here has been that it's really not going to have an impact, that LE will and is ignoring it, and that with common sense everyone will be fine and dandy. I was one of the few that disagreed with that perspective from Day 1, and right now I am not yet ready to say that I was wrong. I am more fearful than ever, based on little news items that are starting to appear across the country that LE has simply been putting their ducks in order and are now beginning to enforce the law. Newspapers are starting to refuse advertising ads, Yellow Pages will remove all questionable ads in May, and if one follows Stella from Montreal or Pivot from B.C. one sees the crackdown beginning. It has become politically correct on Cerb to minimize things. As much as I hate to agree with anything that comes from the mouth of Peter MacKay, he is not wrong that many sex workers are victims. Many are victims of economic and social circumstance that forces them to stand on street corners for survival. That is real. The solution of providing a social network, of creating affordable daycare, of creating jobs that are more than working in call centers or as coffee shop hostesses, of keeping real jobs in this country with a real salary, of providing serious viable alternatives to desperate people are all being ignored. Somehow what is important is getting sex workers out of the trade. End of story. There is nothing there as an alternative, nor a recognition that in fact some sex workers do this by making a rational choice. Yes we live in our own personal worlds inside and outside of Cerb but let us not forget that there is another world as well. Just telling each other that everything is fine and dandy does not make it so. So Patrick and FunAdventures and Phaedrus and Christy and Midnight and all that responded to this point have all been right on target - it's just that this is not a simple question and nor is there a simple solution. In the for what its worth department I still send my small and probably insignificant contribution each month to POWER of Ottawa, because one day organizations such as POWER and PIVOT and STELLA and MAGGIES will be the organizations standing up in court for all of us - Cerb clients, Cerb companions and street workers alike.

I completely agree with CristyCurves. And these are my two cents: Although the people that partake here are generally good people who choose to be here, want to be here, etc etc.. this is not the reality for everyone. Just because we have it good, doesn't mean that the negative realities don't exist. I recently watched two documentaries on Netflix. 'Tricked' and 'Playground'. Both are worth a watch. These stories are real. And terrible. These girls are threatened, drugged, cut off from society (literally locked up while not 'working'), beaten, etc etc. Their families are threatened. They are trapped and scared. The system is broken, and we cannot pretend that it isn't. These documentaries also shockingly highlight how the system fails at carrying out their altruistic goal of protecting and helping the girls / boys. Frustrated victims, frustrated social workers, frustrated people trying to help, frustrated police who see that what the law tells them to do, doesn't help. The only people still smiling are the pimps. These are the stories that 'outshine' the good of this industry. AND THEY SHOULD. One negative situation should have more public spotlight than all of our stories combined. One thing I found fascinating was the excitement from pimps, particularly in Vegas, that think that legalizing the sex trade is the best idea ever. They wouldn't lose the girls under their control, and could expand. They would be safer. They were excited. It would make it worse for those girls. I found this fascinating because that seems to be what a lot of us want (legalizing it). But I wonder if it really would make things better / safer, or if we are just deluding ourselves. Both sides shouldn't see the upside of it. These stories are realities. These girls are real. They are not made up stories from politicians and activists that are 'out to get us'. I'm by no means saying that their approach to fixing this problem is working, but there is a problem. And I would rather our society acknowledge the bad shit that happens, then to sweep it under the rug and say 'well that's the minority of people involved, so who cares'. There is actually a website called 'Baby-Rape'. I think that says enough right there. Or maybe you want some stats such as of the 5,930,615 pornographic pictures of children online that have been reported, only 874 children have been identified. I'll gladly live with the stereotype if it means it will help even one girl / boy. Phaedrus you wrote "Now, everyone reading this post knows damn well that the impressions I've just outlined are absolute crap, and are in no way representative of this industry.". I think that that statement is crap (sorry) and is perpetuating this idea that the problems that exist are not worth acknowledging.

Phaedrus, as so often, really nailed it for me. From my perspective, which is inherently slanted because I myself am involved in this industry, I agree with most insofar as society doesn't give a rat's hairy keister about either the companions or the clients. The general census is that companions are uneducated, drug addled women with daddy issues. We know this is not true at all, but general society doesn't. It's a stereotype that is prevalent and detrimental, and it contributes to society's apathy regarding companion's rights and safety. As for clients, I don't think society has any expectations or preconceived notions other than that they are depraved, perverse and perhaps having a physical reason for needing "to pay for it" (being obese, ugly, etc.). Again, we all know this stereotype is no truer than the preconceived notions of companions, and yet it persists. Beyond those basic assumptions about what kind of people we are, it would seem no further thought is given on the subject. The average member of society is ignorant in the true sense of the word: they simply have no actual knowledge and therefor they presume stereotypes to be truth and leave it at that. That's my opinion, anyhow... :)

But what you've outlined isn't crap, there in lines the reasons the public perceptions are as they are. There are a lot of clients that don't give a crap, they are there just to get their rocks off and couldn't care a less about the escorts position in life. A lot of the women are in this business because of poverty, drugs, abuse and other negative reasons. Sadly all of these things are true and do shed negativity on the business. There are also many women who have chosen this profession, who are happy to be in it and who are using it as a stepping stone in a positive way. There are also clients who seek out this type of escort and will only interact with responsible and professional women. The negativity of this business is harsh, real and unfortunately always overshadows the positives. As does the theory that a cheating man/women is a bad man/woman, as is the one he/she is cheating with. The fact that a lot of clients are attached also solidifies society's belief that those involved in this business cause the ruin of marriages and other relationships. That many of us are evil seductresses who have no morals or self respect. You would be hard pressed to find anyone in society to openly admit that an escort could actually enhance or help a coupled relationship, or that an escort may be an educated, level headed, productive member of society. These are my beliefs from my experiences in this business. I also believe that until society becomes more "European" towards sex, meaning, more accepting and open about it, the acceptance and opinions towards sex workers and their clients will stay unwanted and negative:(

A quick note of explanation: This post started as a reply to another thread regarding a rating area or scheme for clientele.(Here,) As I posed my two alternate questions it occurred to me it might better stand on its own as a separate thread because it really does concern societal standards. Yes indeed, this idea has been spun in various flavors quite a few times before, both here and at other places on the Internet. The questions I would like to see posted to the public in the media is: How does society expect a client to behave in this industry? And, if that standard differs from social norms, what is the reason for the variance? The following is my opinion: I am willing to bet my last dollar that the above questions would expose both a debate in the public media and a massive double standard for those in this industry, on both the provider and client-side. This negative inequality is perpetuated by bureaucracies in order to further justify other inequalities in our society... and on it goes. But answering the above two questions openly in public discussion might help began to turn the tide. I know I will live to see this industry and all those involved given back their rights, and I hope to see other major positive humanitarian changes in my lifetime is well. PatrickGC

So true. I can't fully know the impact seeing photoshopped women all day have on other women, but I can say that it has also a negative impact on some men. Being fed unrealistic expectations robs us from enjoying the beauty, inside and out, all around us. A lady once told me that she finds something attractive in every man she meets; I do the same (with women I mean :) ). Another lady told me not be to shy to say what I enjoy and find beautiful about someone. I also do now. Putting a smile on their lips and a twinkle in their eyes is the kind of sunshine I can enjoy everyday :)

What a fabulous article. All women are beautiful in their own unique way. No one should dictate how women should look. When you are comfortable in your own skin, you are beautiful :-)

paid my power bill-yikes!

I too say we can never hear messages like this one often enough. Thank you WhiteKnight for being thoughtful and posting it. I love how Dove is advertising and empowering women, however, I can't promote their product because they test on animals. Back to the subject at hand-I was raised to be modest, admitting such things as one being beautiful, smart, talented, etc was being vain or boasting. I now realize that isn't the case, there is a difference and although I've never considered myself beautiful, physically, I'd still walk through the beautiful door because I know I'm not average either and that these descriptions represent far more than the physical. The nice thing about getting older is, at least in my case, that my confidence is growing, that, or maybe it's the fact that I am just caring less about what others standards are and what others say:)

That's always been illegal tho, now it is illegal for different reasons I guess. What i have never figured out is the arrogance and blatant law breaking by many agencies, in the agency towns. It's like they don't even know that it was and has always been illegal for them to advertise (i.e. procure, live off the avails, run or be in a bawdy house) sp services. Escort services, time/company, yes, but the ones made me LOL when they announce (to the media no less) the big changes on their sites or ads. I'm like, well, you know...... i have no idea why they were doing it in the first place. Same with providing incalls locations, it's crazy. The reason the micro (the asian setups who use people working illegally on travel visas etc) get busted is because of their blatant ads and providing incalls. It's like an LE gift, all wrapped up, with a minimum of 6 people to arrest and 20 to deport. In Montreal recently, RCMP announces 'rescuing' 500 socalled victims, when they raided 16 shops and charged 6 people. I'm like, again, yeah, and....? it's not like these places were hiding, not from client or LE. LE runs around every couple of years, one city or another, and sweeps in, makes themselves look like they are doing important work, then 3 months later, the ad sites are flooded again with the same people or their replacements.

The things I value most in a client: kindness, respect, excellent hygiene, good communication. These things not only make me feel safe and respected, they set the stage for being turned on mentally and physically. 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s; bring it on! Meow :-D And, to me, the aging body can be wonderfully sexy...it's how you live within your skin that counts. I'm planning on being an outrageously sexy old lady.

As a man who seems like he could be your clone I can only respond to your question with my own experience. My age is exactly as you describe. My body and looks are exactly as you describe - not what they were thirty years ago. At one time I was an athlete, had hair as long and curly as you could imagine, and yes even a six pack. Those days are gone. Over the last few years as I met various women as companions, I most often had quite a bit of communication with them beforehand. They always knew full well my age and circumstance and therefore always had the right and option to decline meeting with me. To this point that has not happened but if and when it does then I will surely understand. I think that the answer to your question lies in your ability to be honest and open and to communicate. My educated guess is that they will be more interested in your concerns and insecurity than in your age. If a woman would choose not to see someone that is our age I would way prefer that they say so ahead of time - that would be way better for both parties. Relax and you will meet some wonderful companions. MN2

I am 55 and have only one been screened out by a lady for age... we were all set with a booking until she asked my age... at the time I was 53 and she said she did not see anyone over 40. Hey to each there own I would rather she was honest then get there and have her not into our session because I was older than she thought. In my experience many ladies have a lower limit ie over 30 but very few have upper age limit. Just my Opinion Sent from my Passport using Tapatalk

Hello Midnite and a big thank you for the reply. I truly appreciate the feedback and your sage advice. I feel better after reading your reply because I am a gentleman in every respect, my personality is that of a very loving and caring person with utmost respect for others. In this case, the service providers in particular. I still carry a "user name" somewhere when I called myself "Carebear", I'm a push over. ;) I'm obsessive about hygiene and I also believe that there must be some form of connection or mutual respect. This is why one of the first things I do is tell it like it is regarding my age, physique, etc... Full disclosure! :D I ask if that is a problem for them. It seems most don't have a problem (though some do) and you seem to confirm that and that's OK. I love brutal honesty in such things. At least we are starting our communication on a solid foundationy and I leave it in their hands to decide whether interested or not. This question reminds me of a Google Search where you discover that if you ask a certain question, you are shocked to discover how many other have wondered the same thing and maybe didn't feel comfortable in even asking themselves. By providing an overview of the mutual respect and other qualities mentioned, I much more confident and it enhances my confidence. I hope this helps others in my aging population as well. It's nice to know where things stand and what is important. One final note ladies, I KNOW the majority would not do this but it happened to me very recently where I befriended a provider, all communications were honest and open, we corresponded several times and when the day came to confirm the location and exact meeting time. I got a complete "no show", unreturned PMs, e-mails, etc... That's OK. All I ask is that respect be a 2 way street, no matter who we are, we are all human and we all have feelings. Sometimes the smallest little snub like that can hurt a lot. No one likes rejection or rudeness. It only takes a moment to write one line, sorry it can't work out". But being left in the lurch is hurtful. "Much love to all my brothers and sisters on this little blue planet" ~ Me

I don't think any of us ignore the truth of things. There is a very real and very serious issue in this country and it seems that our government is set on pushing it's own agenda and weakening us as opposed to being dedicated to making this country a great place. It seems everything coming out lately is designed to remove rights and freedoms, make people more reliant upon government and also more fearful. Thomas Jefferson said "when the government fears the people, there is liberty, when the people fear the government, there is tyranny." We speak, guardedly, about what is close to home, in this case, C36. I say guardedly because the law was designed to silence voices. It was designed to push a point, remove rights and freedoms and shove us all into a hole. It's not about saving us or protecting us, its about control. I am still on the fence about the impact LE will be having and as such, continue to be wary and vigilant. As mrrnice2 pointed out, there doesn't seem to be a lot of initiatives about creating, supporting or making viable. It seems to be more about handing out so you are more reliant on someone/thing, pigeonholing and bringing into line and gaining more control. So many initiatives to protect us from ourselves which only seem to give someone else the job of protecting us however way they deem fit. Legalizing of this industry is a good thing PROVIDED that there are also plans put into place to not only deal with but deter the behaviors we know are present. We need a shift from consensual punishment to punishment for those seeking to lure, abuse, control, harm etc. and those rules need to be firm and unwavering in their execution. I've said this before and will again, that what we've been dealing with is only part of the equation, only a line in a larger drawing. What is written into the law that impacts us has the ability to impact others as it seems many laws being passed these days are. That is a scary thought. I suppose it starts with each one of us governing ourselves according and working to be better than we were. Respect, support, tolerance. If we can't have it for ourselves and those around is, it leeches out into society at large. Change always starts small, with one person and grows from there. It does seem our country is broken and where it goes from here is anyone's guess.

It's good you are willing to speak out on this issue, as the number of clients remotely willing to do so is extremely low, barely inexistant to say the least and i speak from experience. The reasons for this are numerous; impacts on their personnal or professional lives come to mind, obviously. One thing come to mind from speaking with local reporters that i can share is to ensure that they do a good piece, stay neutral, and do no go the sensationalist route. One i have dealt with last summer did tremendous pieces in town and garnered some trust in the local community, while another, after my meeting and discussion, suddenly jumped in on the bandwagon to try to get client's perspectives, only in succeeding in getting suspisious glances (including a lack of understanding of the workings of the industry as well as, by the timing of it, seeing an opportunity to get a similar story). I'll be curious to follow that up. Anyway, a quick rambling from away from my laptop.

Phaedrus, excellently articulated and accurate points. I recently spoke with the reporter from the CBC National who is preparing a news item on the effects of the new law on escorts. During the initial investigation it was noticed that clients are tremendously underrepresented in the discussions, articles, and media. So indeed, the "supertanker" is slowly turning. I heard about this because I'm involved with the activists and I'm willing to speak out.-if anyone would like this information, just p.m. me and I'll pass it along. At this point I don't know when or if the news story will make it to air and the reporter is to be commended for trying to get perspectives from the client's perspective. Apologies for the short reply. My voice dictation software is acting up. PatrickGC Additional Comments: Agreed FunAdventures blindly legalizing the industry with a history such as ours would be disastrous. However, the goal is to make violence unacceptable and in this context that means "anything against any person's will". As the situation stands now people can not protect themselves because they are now literally farther from being legal and law. Criminals love this, because criminals don't obey the law, by definition, unless it in their favor. This is something bureaucracy just doesn't seem to understand: The Law Only Works On Those Who Acknowledge And Obey It. That's why the current law affects the people here and not the ass holes on the outside. And those same "lovely individuals" usually have access to unencumbered physical resources and the occasional lawyer or two. However if the industry was legalized responsibly, pressure could be brought to bear. I realize that for this to really work it takes a fundamental shift in society. Usually that takes a long time, but not always, nevertheless it must sought after. Because what ever society deems as acceptable behavior has ripple effects of crossed all facets of life. This industry must evolve and be governed by dignity, standards and a code of ethics. Right now some segments of the society aren't concerned enough when someone is harmed or disappears. Apologies for my rant. But the industry and people should be part of the mainstream. Or at least closer to it. PatrickGC A Side Note to lighten things up a little bit: Soon after the new law was enacted an official request was sent to revenue Canada to exempt all working individuals in this industry from income tax. Since any moneys received by way of any transaction under the new law are to be considered obtained by way of extortion. To date revenue Canada has not responded. [if I can find the original article I will post it here.]

I don't necessarily think the client 'needs' an agency, but the sps who choose to work via an agency do. And by extension, actually the client relies on the agency for 'consistency' and 'no surprises'. He may not have seen the newest addition to the agency, but he can rely on the agency that the sp is not going to be a scammer or no show. He is banking on his history with that agency to help him make a decision. He could go to the ad sites and find someone that way, but then he has to do his own research, screening, and it will still be a gamble. He eliminates his gambling by going back to the same agency (or agencies). Of course the sp benefits because she is not dealing with the day to day business or booking or screening, she can (hopefully) rely on the agency to ensure her safety. As an sp, she may not feel confident that she can do this for herself. I know some sps repeat the same booking mistakes over and over, and i can never figure out why (something like not verifying an address actually exists, or call back a # used to book an appt to ensure it is not spoofed), and then there is the backup/support/safety of having a business behind you, someone 3rd party who knows who you are with, for how long, etc.

Her face sweet & pure like an angel; a being without sin. But when she got on her knees, I saw the most devilish grin - Daniel Saint

I keep meeting awesome new women on here, and there are still so many I want to meet! I'm having trouble keeping up! :) And that's a great thing! I log on every day and I am sure that I'll have great conversations, meet new friends, make better friends, and maybe more. Much to be exited about.

My opinion is that society as a whole doesn't care. This is a lifestyle that doesn't impact them, so they just don't give it a thought. Prior to the new legislation I'd wager if you asked any Canadian on a street corner (oooppps maybe a bad choice of words LOL) they would have said prostitution is illegal. And most likely don't even know the law has been changed I think what is more important is educating both clients and prospective clients and companions and prospective companions into what is proper etiquette and behaviour. I'm less worried about what society thinks of how we should behave, and more concerned about being the best client I can be. And passing along any tidbits of advice I can. To this end a board and community like Lyla is a very useful forum for the sharing of ideas and learning about this lifestyle. I know it was beneficial to me in my early days of this lifestyle So I'd say just be the best client/companion you can be. And don't worry about societal expectations, because society likely doesn't even care My take on it RG

I doubt it, they are doing well here in Montreal. Always have.

At the risk of going all Debbie Downer on you... I'm going to anyway. I think that society's current expectations of clients are very low, but this is profoundly connected to society's impressions of sex workers. Unfortunately, the average person's vision of a sex worker is probably very negative. She might be a drug addict working for her pimp/dealer, or a trafficking victim at the mercy of the gang that got her into the country, but the general impression is of someone who is at the mercy of a person (or people) who control her activities, income, and entire life; she's turning tricks for their benefit, and she'll never see any of the proceeds. And that's before you even consider the idea that she may be underage... long story short; she's desperate, on the fringes of society, and she'll do what it takes to earn a few bucks to get her through the next day. That, in turn, feeds society's opinion of the client; he's a guy who just wants to get his rocks off. He doesn't give a damn about the well-being of the provider he sees; he doesn't care where the money goes. And he doesn't care that the girl sucking his cock may be, in the eyes of the law, a child. Society expects him to take what he can get; if he can, he'll rape a provider if he thinks he can get away with it. Long story short: he's an asshole, exploiting the vulnerable, and society expect him to behave as such. Now, everyone reading this post knows damn well that the impressions I've just outlined are absolute crap, and are in no way representative of this industry. Most of the ladies involved are doing exactly what they want to be doing, including a lot of the ones who have entered the country illegally. Most of the clients are, whatever their tastes in terms of age, not looking for someone under the age of majority; most of us would care if we met someone who we felt was being coerced in any way, and a lot of us would make an effort do something about it. Most of the ladies are not on drugs. Most of them are not under the control of anyone, even if they do choose to work for an agency. And most of us are also aware that not all sex workers are female, and not all clients are male. All of these things are... things that society as a whole doesn't get. The fundamental problem is the invisibility of the industry as a whole. I suspect that almost every adult in the country knows folks who are involved in this industry, as either clients or providers; they just don't know it, because none of us have neon signs on our foreheads. These things are changing, slowly; I've noticed over the past few years that sex workers' organizations have become more visible and have begun to get their message across in the mainstream press. This is a long, slow task (think of turning around an oil tanker) but they've made a good start, and people are - slowly - beginning to notice, and get their heads around the idea that there are a lot of sex workers out there who are strong and independent people who are doing exactly what they want to be doing. Clients are still much lower profile, despite being far more numerous, but I hope that will change. The recent changes in the law were designed in part to inhibit that, but I'm optimistic that eventually, reality will shine through. It'll be a long fight, and like many of these fights it'll take a generation or two and the road will be far from smooth. They say that a lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on... but when the truth starts kicking, the game's almost over. We'll get there.

Not sure if you were actually after an answer, but the big difference is that there is an actual huge widespread issue of female genital mutilation, both historically and ongoing. The few times someone has actually done something equivalent to a man it typically is taken seriously, with charges laid. It's a news story because it's such an exceptional circumstance and (though it by no means justifies the act) it's often connected to some wider and inappropriate action the male took to get themselves into trouble. In the case of female genital mutilation it's mostly done simply as a means of subjugation. Basically it's easier and generally less offensive to make an innocent joke about cutting a penis off because that's not a common practice and so it is easier to take as the innocent joke intended. Female genital mutilation is invariably tied up into wider issues of mysogomy you can't separate it from. It's like if you made a joke where the punchline was about a high gas bill...it would take on a whole different and darker meaning if it was about a Jewish person because of the real historical tragedy associated with it. Anyway, not trying to derail the thread or start a debate and that's probably more than anyone wanted to read...but if you were really wondering what the difference is, there ya go.

Yes to add to what Meaghan has said--when I worked for an agency, I got almost zero information about who I was going to see or what they were looking for. Sometimes, I didn't even have a name. You are going into the appointment totally blind. If you're not good on the fly, things can be awkward at first. As an indy, I am the one handling all emails and calls. I know who is coming to see me and what they're looking for in terms of service and look. We've often chatted prior to meeting, so there is no awkward initial conversation about what is going to happen. I mean, when I would do agency calls, I had a little speech prepared at the beginning about what I was willing to do and my restrictions because I had no idea what the agency may or may not have told the client. There was too much pressure on me to do everything and be everything because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I find being an indy much more relaxed for that reason. I attract the clients I want to see who want the services I offer and things are less up in the air.

Your suggestion here, sets the premise that it is ok to borrow or copy another Sp's hard work. That is 100% wrong on every level. If ladies would invest is a GOOD web designer, they could come up with their own concept and style instead of recycling what someone else already calls their own. If you don't write your own text, search the heck out of what is written for you as unless you pay a ghost writer, it was probably copied from another lady. I take great offence to what you have written here, as it implies its ok to be lazy and borrow from another. Just because someone likes my website, does not mean its a good fit for someone else, when I have personalized it to reflect ME. A personal site should be YOUR own, and something that reflects you. You are the one who controls how much or how little is on it and what direction you want it to take. Working with a web designer helps with that and will work with you to get what you want out of your site. Do what the rest of us with sites you admire do, hire a web designer to help you create your own magic. This topic annoys me as my site and ads have been copied / stolen numerous times this year and threads like this make it seem like the thieves were in the right to do so. Do you know how much work it takes to get your copied stuff removed off the internet? How would you feel if it was YOUR content and style being copied all the time? Hard to be original and stand out when that happens.

One point on independent vs agency. When I worked for an agency in Toronto, the only info I had was a name and address. I didn't know what questions he asked, what choices he had etc. When I work indy, I get an email, and a phone conversation beforehand. So I have an opportunity to know a bit before we meet. The other thing when working with an agency, I always felt like I had to leave right away because the driver wanted me to go to my next call. Also, you typically give half your money to the agency and driver. So you had to see twice the guys to meet your financial goals. I will never work for an agency if I can help it. I prefer running my business my way.

Personally, I'd let your chosen SP know when booking that that's something you're looking for. If you spring it on her during, she may be caught off guard and be unprepared. Most of us try to stay in control of the appointment anyway, but subtly so. If you're looking for something more dominatrix-y, then you should look for someone who offers professional BDSM services. You don't have to go into too much detail--what you've written here is enough. It gives the escort an idea of what you like but you haven't sat down and written out a schedule or play by play so it won't feel staged during. You have a few options here. You can do a search of the forums for the word "duos." There was a thread awhile back where everyone announced who they were comfortable doing duos with. You can ask your chosen SP if she has a friend she can bring along or who she works with. Some advertise on their websites who they do duos with. I'm not sure I understand what you're asking here. Are you asking what is the biggest hurdle to being an independent, or are you asking why there are so many indy escorts vs agency girls? I'm confused.

Feminism is not misandry. The two words have no similar meaning, aside from the fact that many people who are opposed to feminism have decided to try to make those two words synonymous. They're not. Raidcals and extremists exist everywhere with everything. They do not represent the majority and feminism is no exception. I am a feminist and it's been fodder for the a-holes on the BC board to find more reasons to hate me. I actually had someone write me an e-mail comparing me to Hitler. All because I believe women are equal and men aren't a bunch of children who don't know any better than their shitty behavior and are fully capable of being held accountable for their (in)actions rather than coddled and babied. How dare I presume that men are intelligent, capable beings and that women are, too. God, yeah, just call me Irma Greee... *rolls eyes* Anyhow, feminism is not about hating men. That's misandry. Totally different.

Well I think everyone who has contributed to this thread are all right. I hate when the word 'feminism' gets construed as men hating, or someone out to get men, etc etc. And it also saddens me when it's an accurate depiction. It should not be. All feminism is, is the desire for things to be equal. And yes, we have gotten to the point where you can open a bank account without the permission of a man, but we are nowhere near where we should be. There are still tons of inequalities, from both sides. I have worked in male dominated industrial jobs most of my life. I started working in a mine when I was 19. It was a camp set up, week in week out. I was one of a handful of girls on site. It took 5 years before my 300 some colleagues stopped trying to sleep with me and actually became my friends. I can guarantee you that a 19 year old man has not had to deal with continuously being hit on for 5 years, while trying to politely decline everyone so that you don't come across as a b*ch. This is what feminism is trying to get rid of. Another site I worked at, a few of the older men still possess the view that women don't belong in industry. They have intentionally set up new female employees to do two-person jobs alone. This results in them getting injured. However, men never do this job alone. They always do it in pairs. They set new female employees up to fail just so that they can say "See, women don't belong. They can't do the job." This is what feminism is trying to get rid of. And there are countless other examples I've come across in my years as being a female. The one I probably hate the most deals with our children, and how girls are always told they are beautiful and pretty and have nice clothes and hair, and 'oh, how cute she is'. Whereas the boys get told they are strong, creative, smart, ingenious, thoughful, etc... And how girls who are assertive are 'bossy', and boys who are assertive are 'leaders'. Drives me nuts! We need to start in our own homes and in our own lives in order for change to occur. I have some favourite Ted Talks that are about the subject of inequality. I love the first one, and if you ever listen to anyone talk about this subject matter, this is the one you should listen to. It's a man speaking, if that helps ;-P Also, Emma Watson's UN speech was also brilliant.

As someone doing a PhD in women's studies, let me say first off that there is no one definition of feminism, but as a generalization we can say that feminism refers to the political, economic and social equality of the sexes. There are many different strands of feminism, such as Marxist/Socialist feminism, radical feminism, liberal feminism, post-structural/postmodernist feminism. They all have particular histories and goals. It's much better to think of feminism in the plural, as feminisms, because there are many. In terms of the type of feminism influencing C36--this is a very specific form of radical feminism that was formulated during the 60s-70s-80s. But lest you think this a new incarnation, this type of "rescue the fallen women" has been a goal of middle class white women since the 19th century. Despite being very vocal, they are in fact a minority amongst feminists generally. I generally refer to myself as a sex radical feminist or a sex positive feminist. Those are labels that refer to a type of feminism that is supportive of sex workers rights, as well as trans rights (many rad fems are trans-exclusionary, arguing offensively that transwomen in particular are just men in drag). I would hope you wouldn't paint an entire group as man-haters because of a few bad apples.