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I believe in a few common courtesies I rarely see practiced anymore. 1.) When an elderly person or pregnant lady gets on the bus, I find I'm usually the only one to offer my seat. This frustrates me to no end. 2.) When visiting someone's home, for God's sake, don't ever show up empty-handed. Especially if you're staying a few days! Whether it be a bottle of wine to a dinner party, a fabulous dessert to a barbeque or even just a coffee for a visit; I always bring something. 3.) When ever ANYONE on the road does me a favour (lets me in, allows me to proceed before them etc.) I ALWAYS wave. I can't get over how many people don't. 4.) Yes please, No thank you and You're Welcome!

I always thought in life, there was no such thing as "stupid questions", only "stupid answers".

I will let the guys answer this one but if you intially do your homework and find an SP who is reputable and prides herself on providing a good service then giving the fee upfront will never be an issue. You get what you pay for.

First off, it was a good idea for a post Meg. I honestly considered posting something to this regard a few weeks ago. I have often wondered, and sadly alot more lately, what it's worth to be a nice guy. It is always good to be polite to strangers or people you don't know just as friends or family. I have found lately that lots of people simply find it difficult or evevn avoid being genuinely nice to others. In my daily life I am responsible for dealing with akwward and often tense situations in the workplace. I unfortunately find myself being one of the only people present who not only maintains a certain level or calmness and decorum, but also who posessess the ability to remain smiling and telling jokes to ease the tense situation. I find it quite sad, but the harsh reality is some people don't enjoy being happy and others simply aren't. I was once quoted the following by my boss: "Son, you cannot move forward in this world if your not willing to step on modies to move ahead and if you always put others before you like you tend to do then you'll never move ahead in life!". OUCH! by far thw worse thing any person has ever told me. Not only was he wrong, but I felt concerned for him as another person that he felt he should look at stepping on other people as a requirement for moving ahead in life. Do I think people like that I am naturally nice or always smiling, yes. Do I think some people get pissed off when something goes wrong or something bad has happened and I still find a way to smile? Yes. Do I think some people can't take somebody who is just as peachy at 3am after working 72 hours straight than if it was 9am and they just had 12 hours sleep? Absolutely. But I am not about to change my demeanour or the person that I am because of my positive outlook on life or my wanting to focus more on the better things in my life rather than focus on the bad or negative things of life. Have I lost friends because they can't handle "nice all the time"? yes. Will I make more people upset in the future because of misunderstandings, jealousies, misconceotions...more thank likely. But when it comes to how I treat others, how I choose to portray your attitudes publicly, how I act in private or in public I cannot and WILL not subject myself to change because that is the definition of my character! It is who I am and what I represent so if somebody else can't handle it then that's unfortunate but too bad. So I would hope that more people such as Meg and others who have posted here continue to share there ideas as I believed I was unique in my thoughts of our society having an issue with being nice. Thanks for the post Meg.

It's unfortunate that Gentlman 11 didn't live up to his name and keep a private matter private as a genlteman would do. There was no need to make the mod out to be the bad guy here. If someone wants to leave the instructions are quite clear on how to close your account as is the processes for posting a new recommendation. And as Nicolette points out there is always the community it's self here ready to help at a drop of the hat , my inbox is always full of these types of questions, and I'm happy to help because I know it's taking a load off the mod's full plate and I like to help out wherever and whenever i can. In the end the decision is yours Gentleman 11, clearly many of your fellow members don't want you to leave and the mod did not ask you to leave. If you choose to stay but have issues navigating the site you now know that you can turn to the membership or senior members here who would be more than happy to help!

Mod is completely right, he is too busy to help everyone find everything. That is what the long time members and elite members are for! We are supposed to help each other and not bug mod every 30 seconds. As a community we are supposed to rely on each other for help and assistance for the easy stuff. Now if someone posted something REALLY bad that requires mods immediate attention then yes, by all means PM him. But if it is just for help/advice it is usually best to PM a member you fell comfortable with. Just my 2 cents. To the OP, I agree with everyone here, you need to take some time away and think things through. Especially before it escalates anymore. If you really chose to delete your account then take action at that time.

In my opinion I think that any kind of "prefered customer status" is a bad idea. I am in total agreement with Malika, Roamingguy, Angela and Cleo. The underlying reason for meeting on a regular basis should be based on respect, chemistry, fun and how a SP made you feel (not on a monetary value). If the first meeting was great then future meetings should be allowed to develop naturally. Personally if I saw such a "preferred client" program I would not book with that person, it would a huge turn off for me (knowing I will be tracked/counted/graded everytime I walk through the door - no thank you). I don't even like to like to track my air miles points :-) let alone would want to have to track "other" types of points (or worse yet have to get a card stamped each time as Cleo jokingly suggested). Any sales person will tell you clients who are only shopping around for discounts are generally not worth taking on and will not be loyal for long. There are many beautiful ladies on this site who have profiles, pictures and postings that should give someone a good indication of what level of chemistry to expect. To elaborate on Malika's earlier post, either the chemistry is there or it is not there - on a personal level.

Ok here I go. I know some will not agree with this but it has been in my mind for a while now and I just have to get it out! I know in cerb as long as nothing negative is said there is freedom of speech so by no means this is an attempt from me to stop this but just me showing another side of the coin, a woman's perspective and boy that can be complicated so get ready guys. For months I have been reading or sometimes just seeing in the main index all the 'best whatever' threads and I often think 'The best according to who?' obviously according to whoever posted it but my point is in order to know what or who the best is you would have to try them all right? In my dictionary the best is very relative as we all have different tastes which means definition of best varies from one person to another and what is best for me may very likely not be for someone else. I have a point I promise. I know us ladies on cerb are confident enough not to let this 'best' threads bother us as we are aware of the fact that each of us is a different individual with characteristics and skills that make us all unique but I still find naming someone the best kind of shallow. Yes, of course us ladies feel flattered with the compliments we receive but I think this can be left in the picture comments and recommendations area. I know this may and very likely will not change anything or stop you guys from posting on those threads but that's not my goal anyway but you understanding a litle more the way we or at least I feel. In the end as much as as I said these 'best' threads have been in my mind for a while it was actually a comment in a recommendation I read yesterday that made me write this and I know the guy who wrote it meant nothing else but complementing the lady he was talking about but I found it a little too extreme so I'll quote him ' she is the way all women should be' seriously?? I may be overreacting but find this comment kind of extreme. The fact that to him this lady is what he was looking for in an escort or/and a great experience for him does not mean us other women should be like her. Am I taking this too literally? Possibly but still needed to get it out. Thanks to those who read this!! xoxo

Agreed, the word I would use is vomit inducing! and now for something entirely different.

I have been wondering what has been going on with this generation for quite some time. I myself am a younger professional guy(29) from just outside Ottawa. I was raised by two parents who were busy with life but also took the necessary time to guide me in my ways and for that I find myself extremely fortunate to this day. Whenever I find myself going in the city for basically anything the way I was raised always seems to come up. I guess I take my ways for granted sometimes but lately people have had to point out to me that not everybody is kind, or polite, or courteous or chivalrous. I mean, a few months ago I was at one of Ottawa's shopping centres and I was alone, I saw two older ladies coming up behind me walking slower and I decided to take my time then stopped and held the door for both of them to walk in before me. Well, to my surpise, after they walked in , they just stopped turned around and looked at me as if I was standing there completely naked. I knew right away what that stare meant. It sadly meant that they were surpised to see somebody my age stop and hold the door just for them. Saying please or thank you anytime but especially in public, opening a door for somedy, if you see somebody with their arms full and they drop something and you pick it up for them, letting another driver into a lane, allowing a mother with children to pass in front of you at the grocery store, giving up your seat on any public transit system for somebody else and are all things that we have the capacity to do every day for not only people we know but complete strangers, the beauty of it all is none of those cost us anything but a few seconds of our time. I find it sad that most of these simple activities seem lost in today's society. I find myself wondering sometimes as well what has happened to chivalry. Maybe I was in a unique situation and I'm not sure but... I observed my parents for over 25 years of marriage and I didn't see my mother have to open one door for herself or pull her own chair out in a restaurant. When a woman leaves the table you get up. When you pick up a lady for an evening or take her home you walk her to the door. If you decide to leave seperately I was always taught to either call her or get her to call you to make sure she got home ok. Once again, these activities, seem rather simple but as I have continued with my father's example in my life, I have sadly not only noticed these elements missing or not being done by other guys but several woman have commented (dates or friends) that not many guys practice chivalry anymore. Some women have even gone as far as to tell me that they think today that if a guy practices these he must be "up to something" or have ulterior motifs. Well, I hope not not in other cases and certainly that is not the case in mine. Frankly, I still enjoy the look on another persons face when I do something nice, just because it IS nice and for no other reason but to enjoy the look on their face when somebody has done something nice or courteous for them.

I think it also depend in what part of the world you were raised...for me I was born in France, were I was thought pretty young some basics manners that today seem really "normal" to me...but when I move to Canada around 7 years old, I was stun to see how...not always rude but casual people are in Montréal. Just in elementary school in France no one would ever dare call a teacher by their first name...but here it is first name and "tu" everywhere. Everyone is extremely casual...so while growing up I had to change my manners, that for me were somewhat normal to be being more casual, especially in school, kids would pick at me for being polite (honestly is there such a thing at being too polite?) But also I am young, I grew up with TV, computer and videos games, for as long as I can remember I had a Super Nintendo (still have it!), I pretty much raise myself, my parents were always extremely busy working and didn't have a lot of time to give me...In my life I have been punish twice, when I was 6 and the other time at 14....Most of the time they would just let it go, or send me to my room...when in my room I had tv, books, computer and videos games...but I swear when I was a teenager I would get up on the bus to let an elderly or pregnant lady sit down, I would try to open doors for people...but I swear nowadays young teens (11-14) think they are the kings/queens of the world...I swear some are so rude it's not believable. I feel old saying that, but I am ashamed of my own generation, we don't have the same values as before. We grew up too quickly in a over sexual world were if you aren't like the others, you can go pretty much straight to hell in the popularity scale

Its been said many times but paying up front, discreetly, is the only way to go. Lets face it, this is hardly a purchase that can be returned if you are not happy with it. If you have a genuine concern after you receive the service, most ladies will be happy to discuss it with you and try to make things right. Not paying up front violates the trust that is needed to have the best encounter possible....

Thanks RG, this is exactly what I meant, again with no pressure on the guy. I'm sure this is already being done since I have tried to reserve a spot with a traveling lady once right after she posted on CERB and she was already booked for a few of my time requested. I'm sure she does not only post on CERB but I am not aware of any other site as good as this one and don't follow them.

Gentlemen11, You should have come to me. I would have helped you. :) I understand the Moderator here has a lot of work to do but remember that this isn't a board or a community without its members. IMO, the response was a bit harsh but perhaps something could be done about this such as assigning a duty to a willing participant such as a senior member to help out those who do have questions. Everyone has different levels of computer literacy and if there is someone there to answer these questions no matter how stupid/trivial they may sound to someone else, this might increase the satisfaction for the mod not having to tend to PMs like this and happy members. I, for one would be happy to help. :) Gentlemen11, I would really suggest to take a breather for a while and then think about making a permanent decision. Disagreements happen all the time and then they blow over.

Money up front always. A reputable lady will never rip you off. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I'm not paranoid, rather inquisitive as I have read that is has been an issue for both sides. I did get burned my self, but as in the post I referred to I truly believe that want goes around comes around. So I don't worry to much about these things. There was some very interesting comments though I like the views brought up so far.

waterrat, In my situation I use my cell phone only for hobbying and at most 3 times per month. I use pay-as-you-go Speakout. I bought from the net a used Nokia 1661 with airtime for cheaper than face value. Getting the phone number changed was painless. You add airtime buy purchasing vouchers from 7/11 stores - there are none in Ottawa but people on the net sell the vouchers. The vouchers last for 365 days. http://www.speakout7eleven.ca/ http://www.speakoutwireless.ca/ Cheers, A M

Exactly what I was going to say. Also, paranoid clients freak me out - so if someone feels like there's a reason they shouldn't pay me up front, it makes me think there is something wrong - so I may ask you to leave and save you the hassle of paying at all.

Your worrying over nothing. What I do is pay the donation up front, in a gift bag, along with a gift (outcalls to my hotel) or in an envelope (for incalls) At the end of the encounter a tip is given Normal protocol is pay up front. Don't leave the lady wondering if she is going to get paid...actually you'll likely find the lady leaving if not paid up front. I'm saying this from the guy's point of view. I've participated in this lifestyle since July 2010, that's the way I've done it, and that's the proper etiquette of doing it. RG

This is getting on the verge of blaming the victim here.

Hiding a second, secret phone, is also an issue for lots of guys who have a SO. Posted via Mobile Device

Gentleman11, I thought for long and hard whether to post anything as I believe this is your personal decision. At the end I decided to post briefly. Mod is fair and neutral and there are certain rules he has to enforce. That is his job. For cerb to remain what it is, that is a civil respectful friendly society with large number of members and a variety of views and ideas to coexist, he has to remain fair and neutral and enforce those rules strickly. In doing so, sometimes he may become unpopular with some members but that is the price that he gladly pays. You will never find another board so civil and caring. I quit terb 1.5 years ago because the mods there were not in my view enforcing the rules. I found that board distasteful. I was hurt to read hurtful reviews against some ladies who were trying to make a living in these difficult times (remember I said hurtful reviews on terb and plenty not fair reviews or even negative reviews) and personal attacks and pimp-like lies and attacks by certain agencies and members on other members. I am sure that I speak for the majority to say that WE DO NOT WISH TO SEE CERB LIKE THAT. And we accept the rules and do our best to obey by them and if we break them we will be suspended or even banned as we have seen recently very popular members have been suspended. It is a fair board and rules applies equally to everyone. I have been suspended too and on one occasion I was exactly where you are now. I emailed mod asking him to remove my handle from cerb. In his fairness and integrity he did not do that. He suspended me for two weeks and told me if after two weeks I still wanted out he will grant my wish. In those two weeks my mind cooled off and I realize what I said above that he was right to suspend me and he is doing his job (and he is doing a great job in my view) to keep cerb the place that it is now. A very friendly family like, caring, respectful civil society. I hope you reconsider your decision. Ask mod for a couple of weeks to think about it instead of making a rush decision but the decision is entirely yours and if my comments in any way offends you, I apologize in advance. Best Regards and good luck in making a right decision,

GM 11. One of the features that appears to be special about Cerb is the manner in which it allows such open and free communication while at the same time is moderated to ensure that mutual respect between members is maintained. For each of us we make our own informed decisions regarding participation, what form that participation will be and to what degree. It is the varied nature of the contributions in the forums that takes our interest and provides opportunity to learn more about the industry, and ourselves. At one point I made exactly the same choice as you made, though I am confident for a very different reason, but it took only a very short period of time for me to realize that it was the wrong decision for me at that time. Whatever you decide to do, best wishes, but it would be nice to continue to see your contributions here continue.

I would certainly be remiss, considering the Cerb handle that I use, not to respond to this thread. Like Meg, I do consider myself to be just a genuinely nice person. Care, concern for others, the ability to empathize, an interest in helping others and similar sorts of things have served me well over the years, and unlike some others perhaps, that includes both my personal and professional lives. These characteristics, if they are in fact present in people, are not things that others assume or presume to be automatically present or authentic in others at first meeting, or even after some time. These characteristics, or, just general niceness and sincerety are characteristics that need to be earned and developed over time. Human nature and past experiences are the cause for that. I do not believe that someone is necessarily naive nor vulnerable should they present this aspect of their being, yet one must at the same time be cautious that others may attribute these characteristics to you by being 'nice'. There need not be a contradiction between being a genuinely nice person and a person that is intellligent and confident enough to recognize when your 'niceness' might possibly be being employed against you. Meg we have not met, but I have followed much of your writing, and it sounds to me as if you have that balance. If so, keep being that nice person that I think I see.:) It is a little compliment here that in a previous thread I made a comment about what a 'silly' name it is that I had selected, and was wondering if there was a way to change it here on Cerb. That little comment from me sparked quite a few PM's from people that I have met, all of whom said, no way, the name fits you so well. What a "nice" gesture that was :)

I have participated in and attended the last three socials and we only had problems with 2 people who were not discrete. The first one was banned from future events and then subsequently banned from CERB and the second one will not be welcome at the next event. Out of 3 events, 30, 50, and 50 people, I would say this is better odds than some so-called "normal" events I have attended. I think the OP should just be concerned about noise levels and parking on his street, issues that anyone hosting a party would have. The idea of hosting an event at someone's place has been brought up, but nobody wanted to risk the liability of people drinking, driving or drowning, etc. As for the discretion part, short of keeping the house off limits except for the washrooms, you may have some who might have difficulty with the temptation to relive their fantasy of being Tom Cruise in "Risky Business". Just remember, no one person or group of persons has the exclusivity on hosting socials. If that's what you want to do, you are always welcome to do so, but you may want to consider the feedback from this thread first to see if it would be viable.

Glad I missed that as well. On another note, when you ask a lady to go on cam and we refuse do not beg or ask us a second time after she said no the first! We do not go to private chat for these things. The ladies do go on from time to time but at our own leisure, discretion, with class and not to stimulate your???? Chat is not a cam show!

This is a very common thing with the ladies... Always looking for the "Reason" the business gets slow at times and always looking for answers as to why they get no shows and cancellation more at different times of the year. Most NO SHOWS can be stopped by screening your calls properly. Use the Caller ID and CALL BACK the number to verify it. Most guys will not pull a NO SHOW on someone without having the decency to call and properly cancel if you have their number. They know that come appointment time one very upset SP is going to give them a call asking WTF! It's not 100% but it sure helps for those who screen calls. It also makes the call a little more safer as that phone number is now a connection between the guy and the lady... I doubt someone dangerous is going to want to leave a number that can be traced back to them. Most of the ladies look for reasons when things are slow. I guess most of us do that when the business we are in takes a drop in sales/traffic/work load/etc.... You can spend a good portion of your day trying to figure this one out but it's not really worth the effort. It's WAY easier to just plan for these lows (Put some money aside for the slow periods) and just accept that this is part of EVERY business and it will happen. Stop stressing out and trying to point a finger at what you think is causing the slowness as your just going to convince yourself of something that is probably not correct. We have been tracking patterns in this industry since 1996 and the answer for this is... (Drum roll please)... It has no pattern EXCEPT for a few obvious LOW spots. 1) The end of Aug is SLOW every year! (Kids out of school, getting ready to go back to school, family summer vacations, etc...) This is the most popular summer weekend in the tourist industry!! 2) 1 week before and 1 week after Xmass (No need to explain this one right?) New years day too? NOT... 3) January/February for 2 weeks every year (We sum this up to winter blues and getting your credit card statements from Xmass! but we never know what two weeks it will be but for sure 2 weeks around this time it does drop... one year we did not see this and come April we saw a real low drop for 2 weeks and that was obvious weather patterns (Long winter/early spring ... warm winter/cold spring etc...) it does effect this business and you never know when this is coming exactly... so just put some cash aside for these times. 4) First nice weekend of spring (A lot of the ladies take this time off too) 5) Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentines, long weekends, really large sporting events (etc)... they also effect the business. The rest has NO identifiable pattern. You can try to blame it on the economy as a low economy brings more people into this business causing more competition and the overall amount of "Recreational money" the guys have gets a lot smaller so yes the economy does effect it but a low economy BUT it also brings more guys (New guys) in to the mix as well so it's not hit as hard as one would assume. Remember money and sex are the two big things couples fight about... When the economy drops and the money gets tight the stress levels go up, the fighting between couples goes up and the sex stops!! FACT OF LIFE... and I hate to admit it but that is good for this business for all you ladies!! When economy starts to get good again business will decrease a little at first! It's OPPOSITE of what everyone ASSUMES! As for NO SHOWS... This time of year it will obviously be higher. Kids are still home from school, Family vacations, relatives coming for visits, back to school shopping, etc.. etc... and all those people taking time OFF work for family vacations makes other people have to work more (Overtime to cover shifts, higher work loads, etc) it's all relevant.... A lot of LAST MINUTE things come up this time of the year for the "Family Man" and well... kids and family (for most people) come first so recreational visits take a back seat so stuff will get canceled more this time of year. Picture this... The guy is all ready to come see the lady he has chosen and the door bell rings and it's his brother or uncle or who knows who just "DROPS BY" for a visit... URH!? Probably with his annoying kids and wife... (Many of us have been in similar situations) This happens EVERY YEAR... Come September 17th (Or around that time) once the kids are back in school and the routine is back... things will pick up. Summer sucks as a lot more things can get in the way or throw a guys schedule off. Don't spend all your time looking for reasons why the business slows down.... it happens to EVERY PROVIDER & EVERY BUSINESS ... It can not be busy 100% of the time and it does take a little planning and anticipation.