Leaderboard

At the risk of sounding rude, I have to agree with Sara. There are bad things in life, and good things in life. Yes we can look at life that simply, and place blame on everything and everyone around us for our problems. Or we can look at it this way: There are things in life. Situations, people, etc. They are bad, good, neither, both. But until we make a decision to react or let it effect us, it is meaningless. The only thing that controls your life and the things in it is YOU and the way you perceive them. Being a John or Hooker can have it's good and bad, of course. But even bad situations can be learned from and made into something good. I think in your case, you were in a bad situation with your wife, came here, decided to fool around, and in exchange, paid less attention to your home life. But in the same way, you could have picked another hobby, say ice fishing? In the end, it's not necessarily where you were or what you were doing, But What You Weren't Doing. Taking Care Of Your Family. That's not this sites fault, that's not any SP/MP's fault, that's not the computers fault, or the internets fault. It's Yours. It's a shame you didn't take anything good from this place. In the end, life is what you make it. This place has brought me lots of happiness, information, friends, experiences. I'm thankful for this place, and this life that I choose.

Point of fact; it is not cool or acceptable to post a ladies real name! Regardless of innocence or guilt in this matter no one should ever post a ladies, or guys, real name...discretion is of the utmost importance. Please refrain from posting real names, hearsay or other factually questionable information! I suspect Mod will be contacting you in short order to better explain the rules here on Cerb. That said I hope that he allows your post to remain (after removing the names of course) as an example of what a persons first post SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE! One last thing, when I quoted your post I replaced the names of the girls with X's...something I wish you had of done in the first place.

I have to agree with this... If something as harmless as joining a website 'ruined' your marriage, it was already riddled with problems. Seeing prostitutes (typically) does not devastate families, even if they end up finding out. Money problems, violence, drugs and general resentment are usually what kill marriages. (At least as far as I can tell...lol) But, in all seriousness, if a marriage CAN be saved, I believe it can be saved at almost any time-- if not it might not have been worth saving to all involved. When someone leaves someone because they cheated, it's usually because there are other problems present... cheating becomes the straw, a good reason not to deal with bigger problems within a relationship. I'm not offended by your post, but I find it kind of pointless... If you're having problems in your marriage, leaving Cerb and hugging your wife aren't going to solve it.. I suggest people in this situation seek actual help, otherwise the same problems will just resurface and head you down a similar or worse path. Good luck!

I think it's easy to understand the knee jerk reaction, when the sky falls in, to blame the obvious which in this case is CERB. My guess would be the OP's SO found evidence of his escapades and he is now paying the piper and his post is rationalizing his current life situation. With some people, it takes time for the actual act of taking personal responsibility for one's actions to sink in and become reality. There are some people that never reach that conclusion, it is always someone or something else's fault and they never reach the emotional maturity needed to accept they brought the situation on themselves and the situation they face is because of their choices and subsequent actions. Everyone entering into our little corner of the world understands the risks involved even when they won't admit them out loud. Most just hope that the worst case scenario never comes to fruition and have no coping strategy in place in the event it does. Indulging in the services offered here comes with knowledge that you may have to account for your actions and it should never be assumed you will not "get caught". This is exceedingly poor planning in my opinion. If you make the choice to participate, own it. Contrary to popular opinion, this is not a hobby or a sport and has the potential to bring great experiences or complete devastation to one's life depending on how you see the world and choose to cope with the results of your decisions. cat

partly what you make it and partly how you respond to events that make you. Just like the t-shirt: "Guns don't kill people, I do." "Cerb doesn't make me see women for play, I do." Cerb is a forum. You enter. You participate. You engage. You pay. You repeat. Dear Sir, you did this. Be responsible and pay the price of admission or leave. It really is no more complex than that. Thank you to all who have responded to this thread. ps: my wife loves hearing about my adventures - her voyeur tendencies mean that I always have hot stories to tell with more detail being the best

I just wanted to say, and this isn't pointed at anyone directly, that a lot of people seem to be pointing to "hobbying", this "lifestyle", and the "industry" as some ugly, dark, and disgusting underbelly of society. WHY? It makes me really sad. Evry day on this board we push and try to show people in and outside of this "lifestyle" that we are all people. And that most of us are hard working, productive parts of the community. We are caring, and give to the community. Most of us could name at least 1 lady who regularly supports charities through their ads and sites. We are educated and successful. A large amount (probably majority?) of clients, as well as sex workers, are in school, hold degrees, are business owners (that's all the Indy ladies, I might add), and lead a good fullfilling life. So where are all these negative views on us as a group coming from? We know better, so let's stop perpetuating and helping those stereotypes. Sorry, back to the discussion at hand.

As a relatively new member of CERB I can't believe just how wonderful a resource it is in so many ways, I'm still in awe. So many kind, friendly and helpful people in one place. My wife is disabled and often encourages me to "see someone" or "get a girlfriend", Isn't that sweet? I think so but to take her advice means possibly breaking an innocent girl's heart someday as I will never leave my wife, it also means spending less time with the woman I really love and making her feel more inadequate than she already does. A resource like CERB makes life better for everyone, the service providers and their clients. To blame CERB: "ruined his life by participating on this forum" is like blaming every injury from car accidents on Henry Ford.

We know so little about the original poster. That makes it hard to draw specific conclusions, and I find myself trying to fill in the other details through guesswork, so I can decide what lessons can be drawn here. But that's a mistake. I can't comment on the OP's specific, real situation because I just don't know enough about him. But here are some assorted thoughts based on that post: - I think clients seek the company of SPs to fill a void in their lives. Seeing SPs can be expensive and risky (especially if you're in a relationship...!). That you'd choose to do so anyway should tell you that the need that propelled you was real. - In addition to being just a whole lot of fun, SPs can be fantastic resources for addressing that void, and not just with some immediate and fleeting relief. They can provide reassurance that what you're seeking is normal and healthy (whatever it is). And the experiences we have with SPs can equip us to ultimately confront and fill that void within the rest of our lives, without depending exclusively on paid companionship. Seeing SPs is perfectly healthy and perfectly normal. CERB made it seem that way because it *is* that way. BUT... how you integrate it with the rest of your life is up to you. - Seeing an SP while you're in a relationship is a serious decision and you have to take full responsibility for doing so. There's no absolute right or wrong here; everyone's circumstances are different. Some men's partners are sexually unavailable, unresponsive, repressed, or openly hostile. There are a hundred ways a couple's intimate life can be failing, and I think that for frustrated men, SPs *can be* a legitimate resource for addressing a sexual void. Ideally there would be a conversation and you could bring your partner on board first, but I understand how unlikely that is for most partners and relationships. But the choice isn't one to be made lightly, or carelessly, and you have to take full responsibility for the decision you're making and all of its possible consequences. - And finally, on that note: what to do if you're caught. I don't know if the OP was just caught visiting CERB, or having seen an SP, or what... but regardless, the game is up and your diversion is exposed. Now what...? Well, one choice is to condemn the entire sex industry and its entire apparatus, including CERB and everyone on it, for making itself seem legitimate. Run away from the whole thing, condemn the instincts that ever drove you here, and try your hardest to restore your life to the before-state and pretend nothing happened. ... OR ... Recognize that what drove you to seek out CERB might have been a legitimate need. Now that your partner knows what you were doing, it's time to talk to her about it, why you felt you couldn't talk with her about it before, and decide what you're going to do about it. I don't know if seeking out SPs was a serious or whimsical decision for you, whether it was ultimately justified or unjustified, but you made it and this is your chance to build a life that recognizes that choice, instead of running away from it. If you can't at least make your wife understand your decision by the time the conversation is done, then you've found an even larger problem in your relationship. Personally I recommend the second course of action. Because the first one -- denying something is missing for you, and blaming others for your decision -- is likely to fail in the long term, and I predict you'll end up in a similar place in the future. Only then it'll be steeped even further in shame, and so maybe it'll be just some ugly impulsive street action, and oboy... now you're screwing up in twenty new and different ways. Learn something from this. Don't just condemn it reflexively. And build a better life with what you've learned. Lots of us are already doing that, and speaking personally, being here on CERB *is* part of that better life for me.

But it technically is innocent and harmless... Just like money and guns. It's the people and what they choose to do with things that bring about "destruction". I think too much of men in general to start believing they don't have any self control or the ability to think of consequences. It would be insulting if I did...

Why blame Cerb and/or hobbying for one's own lack of self-restraint? Have some accountability! Posted via Mobile Device

Your quandary is, I am sure, one that most married men on here have struggled with at some point in time. Each has their own reasons for coming, staying, or leaving and, like religion, it has to be dealt with individually, rather than forcing one's own decision onto someone else. Good luck in your life and marriage and I do hope things work out well for you.

People assume gfe means some sort of serviceis included (this is not true) gfe is a "style" of service and not any specific services ... All gfe means is that she is not "mecanical" (like right to the point and in / out as quick as possible). Nothing more should be expcted.

I've had this happen to me once and I was very upset as well. The 'gentleman' chose not to tell me until I'd massaged him for about 30 minutes that he didn't want anything else. So I spent my time massaging him, teasing him, tempting him into the decision about what he wanted, only to be told "I don't want any of your tricks today". It felt like a slap in the face. AND, as explained above, I got nothing from that. If you only pay the door fee, the girl is massaging you for free. This is WAY more insulting that telling her at the door that you've changed your mind about the appointment. If you are looking only for a therapeutic massage, you should be going to the appropriate place for that.

After reading the reviews, I was almost doubtful that some one could be "that" good. My doubts ended the moment I walked through the door. Jessica is stunning. Jessica is warm. Jessica is welcoming. Jessica is almost too lovely. Too lovely, as in where do you start to describe the experience, really, it is overwhelming. She is playful. She surrounds you in her eroticism. She engulfs you with a passionate touch. I wanted to devour her and submit completely at the same time. The shower is spectacular. The NURU massage takes you to another world entirely. The cuddling makes you release completely. This is a GFE experience I recommend. Highly. Completely. (almost with regret because I want her all to my self - but that would be selfish.) Anything to watch for? Nope. Anything to improve? Nope Anything more to say? How much time you have? (Review 2 for 2012)

Penelope is coming in Ottawa in Tuesday. She is mine. I'll let her go see some clients... but she is MINE. *is totally not possessive :) *

Taken literally and out of context, his words may say "I did this", but then why say anything at all? Especially on the very forum that's causing you all your grief. And he does say that too. More selective editing clearly reveals cerb at the root of his woes. Consider: Translation: Being "here" (on cerb) makes our lifestyle "seem" more "normal". Translation: It (cerb) has led me astray. Can't get much more judgmental or blameful than that. And finally, a dash of righteousness: Translation: Repent, sinner, repent.

That seems perfectly fair to me. Politely let her know that you've decided to just have the massage, and still leave her something for her time.

I've had so many clients request both a pussy slide and the Italian and look at me like i'm crazy when i say that STDs can be transferred that way. As Gabriella said, please make sure this kind of fun is covered!

Having a new client tip me $250 on a one hour appointment. Wow, I am still in shock.

I find it surprising that men and women are responding to the OP opinion this way. For sure, the original post is extremely resentful and blunt. I would even go so far as to say it is excessively so. But, I don't think the message behind it is less valid for any of that. Sex can be an exploration, a satisfaction of a need, and an escape. There can be no doubt that the OP's marriage had faults and problems before CERB was at all brought into the mix, but it's naive to think that escaping into sex with a variety of women with whom you have no attachment does not have ramifications as well. By avoiding dealing with whatever problems existed and by adding infidelity with paid companions to the mix, a bad situation becomes worse. And escaping in this manner probably made it easier to not deal with those problems at all. CERB itself isn't at fault, but it's wrong to think of all this as innocent and harmless. There are implications derived from everything we do. That's what determines whether being a part of this lifestyle is right or wrong for you at any given moment. Sent from my HTC EVO 3D X515a using Tapatalk

I believe people need to think very carefully about all the possibilities when they open an account here. Both the ladies and the gentlemen. As a lady I run the risk of being discovered as a companion perhaps by people I do not wish to share this with. This is a risk I know exists and I need to be prepared for the outcome and not blame anyone. In the last year I had a gentleman call me and tell me he had contacted an STD and was blaming me or any of the other SP's he had been with in the past year. I found it somewhat amusing just how upset he was, when you enter this lifestyle you run the risk of gettiing caught, getting an STD or many other things you might not have planned for. My point is yes there are a few risks and if something unfortunate happens please do not blame anyone. Stand up and take responsibility as you are the person that thought is was a great idea in the first place. Something for all of us to think about .

Why are you blaming cerb for your decision to commit adultery? This is merely a medium for exchanging information, I've never seen anybody advertising "come cheat on your wife with me" That was decision you made by yourself! Being happily single myself perhaps I have a different perspective but I find it unfair of you to include cerb in your decision! I wish you luck but this is not a bad place!

Celebrating JordynK (again) :)

To live on the avails of prostitution means either to be earning an income from working for a prostitute in a personal capacity--generally as a driver, security staff or someone who takes calls and makes bookings for the lady, but also includes cleaning ladies, nannies and gardeners--or to be living in the same house or apartment as a prostitute even if you're not sex worker yourself. The rationale for living in the same space is that, were it not for the income provided by the prostitute, you would not be benefiting from living in that particular place solely on the basis of your own contribution to the living expenses. Roommates and live-in nannies may therefore be considered to be living on the avails. If a landlord rents or leases accommodation to a prostitute, knowing that she will use it for business purposes, the landlord may also be found to be living on the avails. While supporting our own children who live with us is technically considered to be forcing them to live on the avails, my understanding is that the courts are extremely reluctant to prosecute us for it and no one has been charged for it in years. It's perfectly okay for prostitutes to spend their income on things other than staff and rent. We can buy groceries, drop off dry cleaning, take our kids to daycare, pay for school fees, orthodontists, car insurance and order in a pizza quite legally. I can't see why we can't give money to others, including family members who don't live with us. Plus, if your mother gives you money for your tuition, I would hope that you, in turn, would give her the info she needs to be eligible for income tax deductions! As for taxing income, in Canada, income from all sources, including income received in exchange for sexual services, is taxable. The government is not living on the avails, however, because they don't live in our homes or incall locations, don't do personal work for us and they're not our landlords. With respect to sending text messages to an escort when you're both in a public place, I think you can do that. Text messages and e-mail are considered to be private communication. They can't be overheard by others nearby, which is one of the issues about soliciting in public.

30-45MINUTE SPECIAL ;) SATURDAY 9AM-6PM :icon_wink: MindBlowing BODYSLIDES, Full Body EROTIC Massage, REVERSE Option :icon_wink:, Total Body Exploration, Shower and HOT TUB Fun, Plus Many More SURPRISES- As Always! :icon_wink: Check Out My WEBSITE :icon_wink: http://eroticemily.ca/ TEXT Em Questions @ 613-899-5879 PM's will be replied to as quickly as possible.... EMILY'S SCHEDULE SATURDAY 9am-6pm Tuesday 9am-9pm Wednesday 9am-430pm Friday 330-11pm DOOR FEE RATES ONLY $50 FOR 30-45 MINS $80 FOR 60 MINS $75-95 FOR 45-60 MINS IN THE HOT TUB ROOM :icon_wink: *ADDITIONAL TIMES, DUOS & COUPLES MASSAGE ARE AVAILABLE* TAKE A PEEK AT MY SEXY PICTURES AND AMAZING RECOMMENDATIONS! http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=60113 RECO'S http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=4369 NAUGHTY PIXXX

That shyness, or erotic apprehension, can be a lovely thing, for me. It's a reminder that we're real people who honestly don't know each other well, have no idea what to expect, hope to enjoy one another, are aware of the things that may go wrong or at least not happen exactly as anticipated, and who know that pleasure and delight are too often fleeting, ephemeral things. It's my experience that the gentlemen who are not at all hesitant or who seem to feel completely in control from first contact are rarely ideal clients for me. Encounters with such men are more likely to be a disappointment in some way. I imagine that they're overly invested in a fantasy about themselves or me and may not be able to shift from that to the reality of two real people who may not perform according to plan. The ones who are a bit shy and cautious tend to be terrific because they're not taking themselves or me for granted. While the whole engagement sometimes has strong fantasy elements, I feel that we're both real people having a real encounter.

Yes, just breathe! Shyness goes both ways and, actually, those butterflies in the pit of your stomach are pretty exciting and can actually enhance the encounter!

I did read the original. Suffice to say that it related to the kind of behind-the-scenes stuff that we guys generally don't see. And, to be honest, had more to do with the SP/MA equivalent of the kind of office politics that far too many of us are probably far too familiar with. No, it wasn't to do with references. scottthecanuck's post wasn't unreasonable. This was the kind of thread that *could* have degenerated into nastiness, and I read his post as a shot across the bows of anyone who might have been tempted to go that way. It should also be said that that Lany's original post was more of a "why can't the CERB ethos be more widespread" lament than anything else. In summary: move along, folks. Nothing to see here. Move along.

I must be in lala land lol cause I don't see this lol Ottawa I find is the most welcoming most unjealous place to work...girls are always gunna be guarded with new girls as they can come and go, but as far as my op we ARE all a family :) and yes bitchiness is just a trait of dealing with girls all dealing with pms in one place lmao or if your quitting certain bad habits ;) kisses

I'm surprised to hear that. In my experience, the ladies I've met seem to take the attitude that they would like me (and I assume other gentlemen too) have a good time meeting great ladies in this lifestyle. In fact some ladies have mentioned other ladies they think would be a good match (if that's the right term) for me. Not only that, there are a great many ladies who happily provide references/verification, which not only benefits the gentlemen in seeing other ladies, but other ladies as well, by helping in their screening. Not something done, you would think, if there was jealousies. And if CERB is an example, this is pretty much a community where, for the most part, we all get, or try to get along. Hopefully the jealousies you are talking about are just exceptions to the rule...my experience is the ladies have mutual respect for each other A rambling RG

I have seen from time to time a few ladies offer this particular service. However it is among the rarest services offered. I have seen some offer it only if the client signs a release stating that the video shall remain private. Which, when you think about it, is reasonable. Given that 20 years ago the worse one could do is show it to his buddies and where today all it takes is a few minutes and it's on the internet for the world to see I don't blame ladies for being hesitant to offer this. However the great thing about cerb is that you should always feel comfortable in at least asking. I'm sure, if approached properly, a lady would at worst politely decline your request, if she does I'd recommend to move on and not press the matter. Discretion is a large part of this hobby, so be ready to look around for a while.

I think Summers answer sums up Gfe quite accurately. Although BBBJ seems to be still out there with some girls when they talk about GFE I understand it's a risky thing to offer. My only issue is that too many SP's are loosely throwing around the term and not providing anything more than full service. It's a slippery slope for sure...what I like about Cerb is most SP's if you PM them will tell you what their services are and you can decide from there...that's the beauty of this site.

Summer meadows definition of GFE: Kissing Oral for both multiple positions Cbj hj sex with a condom 69er shower fun toys What am I forgetting? ;) GFE does NOT in my opinion (or bedroom) include anal, bbbj, CIM, COF or unprotected sex. Remember that's just me...every girl is different!

This just baffles and astounds me. We call the ladies in here SPs because they provide a service. We discuss professionalism and aspects of the business. Some of the complaints in this thread show a fundamental misunderstanding of how client focused businesses work. I can't think of any business where you deal with clients that you don't have examples of them failing to read instructions, asking silly questions, being demanding etc etc. Not all of the clients, but some of them. It may be annoying, but it goes with the territory. How you handle them is what is important. The SP in question had several choices: she could have ignored the message (takes no effort) or she could have responded politely and tactfully saying something like "I don't carry on conversation by PM, please contact me when you wish to book or have a question not answered on my website." The latter response took the same amount of effort as answering rudely and probably would not have cost her a potential client. Was the satisfaction of making that response enough to compensate for losing that potential client, and possibly others to whom he could have told the story? I have worked in client support in IT, the hospitality industry and in retail. In none of those fields would that type of rude response be tolerated and that behavior could result in an employee's termination. It would certainly not be good for business. Working Tech support I had an employee show up wearing a T-shirt that said "RTFM". Do you think I let him anywhere near a client wearing that? He got sent home, and the incident was noted on his performance evaluation as a serious lapse in judgement. If I could have fired him I would have done that. To answer Ava's point, again I am sorry but all that extra time is called "marketing" or client management. I work retail selling sporting goods. Do you think that my only job is taking money from a customer and handing them their goods? No, I have to advertise, promote, talk to customers, tell them why my product is better etc etc. The money I make on the goods I sell, factors in all of that extra work. In the case of an SP, answering e-mail enquiries, phone calls etc is just part of you attracting, and keeping clients. Not every client I talk to buys my stuff, but if I don't talk to them, I can be pretty sure my sales are going to be a lot lower. I would wonder how an SP would get a client without advertising or taking the time to respond. Not every response results in a "sale", but if you don't respond you don't make many "sales". I know clients, customers etc can be annoying at times, but we have to deal with them if we want to remain in any business. I am sure 90% of the people on this board, SPs and clients, deal with things of this nature on a daily basis. If you don't like dealing with people then maybe you are in the wrong line of work.

Pretty cut and dried for me. After doing my due diligence, the response I receive to an inquiry decides my interest. I like to communicate with some who is willing to enagage with me. I'm in no hurry and am prepared to take the time to establish a rapport but won't continue if it's a waste of time for both of us. I appreciate and love smart and witty women and often the only way to find that out if you might be on the same page is to communicate. If I'd received that kind of response I literally wouldn't have given it or the woman another thought. Peace MG

I think the bigger issue here is that you didn't use PM effectively which can irritate a lot of users, not just ladies in this industry but in all businesses that use social networking. Private Message is a lot like email, it isn't a form of instant communication but rather should be used much like writing a letter. When you write a PM you should include a greeting, a brief introduction (provided you have not communicated before), the purpose of your message and a closing. The message you sent had no clear no purpose so the person responding did not know it's intent and effectively had no idea how to respond or what the appropriate response would be. If you had said "Hi Kyra, My name is Wally and I was reading your post on Widgets, I thought it was rather funny. I am a shy guy and I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. I live in Nantucket I own a large bucket factory which brings me to Toronto regularly. I hope to hear from you soon. Kind regards, Wally" I would know who you are, what the purpose of the letter is and I would be able to start a conversation. At this point you will find out if you are contacting the type of lady that interests you as you seek someone that you can connect with in advance (via conversation), there is nothing wrong with either styles of companion but they are different and you can choose which suits you best. If she does not wish to connect via conversation she will let you know and you can seek out someone that will, if she prefers the connection then you can carry on with the conversation and arrange a date when you feel comfortable. The point is to ensure that you are using PM, email, text, etc. effectively, failure to do so and the message will be lost no matter what lady you contact. I very much enjoy a conversation with my companions must admit that had you sent me the same one line PM you sent her I would likely wait 3-5 days to respond then would reply with the word "good" or "pleasing". It should be noted I would reply without quoting the original message. ;)

First and foremost, how the lady in question responded to your PM was totally rude and could have been handled much better. That being said, if you were interested in getting to know her better to decide whether you want to book or not, it may have been better to be upfront about it, rather than just ask how her night was going. Those kind of PM's come off as "time-wasting" because it seems as though you simply want to chat, but have no intention of booking. If you had PM'd me asking how my night was going, I probably wouldn't have even replied.