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What follows is a strange tale, one of love, redemption, growth and healing. It's the story of what happens when you fall in love with an escort, perhaps the most forbidden love of all. It's a long story which has not been completely written yet but I provide it in hopes that others will not make the mistakes I have made. My first. I saw her here, read her reviews. She sounded wonderful. A warm and understanding woman who would make me feel like a man again, something I had not felt in a long time. Lets call her L so as not to embarrass her. I went to see her, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. My marriage is pretty good in most ways but the lack of sex was killing me. Destroying my self confidence, making me doubt my self worth. I love my wife and want nothing more than to have a physical relationship with her but for 6 years or more, nothing I did seemed to make any difference. I've never been confident in my sexuality. I always thought I didn't have much to offer a woman in that way. I'm tall and fit and I'm told I'm handsome but in the bedroom, I always felt that I fell short. That and the fact that I put sex on a pedestal. Sex was important. Sex had meaning. Sex was not for fun, sex was for relationships and having sex with a woman meant you were with her now and you had to do everything in your power to make something more out of it. I've never cheated on a partner. In spite of having been with some jealous women who would accuse and suspect me, I've been faithful. Sure, I look when I see a beautiful lady pass by but I never stray. So what happens when you take a man with low self-esteem, commitment hangups, guilt, performance anxiety, a tendency to overthink everything and not a little OCD, and put him with a woman who rocks his world? Who pleases him and lets him please her. Who pulls the best out of him, a performance he never knew he was capable of? Maybe it's just a job for her, a script, an act that is designed to make him feel that way. But it doesn't feel that way. See, it wasn't just the sex. I connected with her. I felt a huge amount of chemistry. I liked her style, her personality. Her kindness and generosity. I liked everything about her. This is where it went wrong. Guilt, desire, conflicting emotions of lust and self-loathing set in. Is it wrong? It feels right. What does it mean to me? What am I doing with my life? I'm a ball of stress. I can't sleep. I email her, and text her. She's so nice to me, responding to my craziness. Perhaps I would have been better off if she had shut me down right away but I believe she is truly a wonderful person and tried to help me as best she could. Deep down, I knew that I was going off the rails. I've only known her for an hour and a few emails and phone calls. This obsession can't be healthy I thought. I should go see someone else. So I did. And it sucked. I mean, it was sex and all but there was no connection of our personalities. I didn't like or care about her. It was mechanical and I couldn't perform to the level that I had learned I was capable of. I felt terrible. A failure as a man once again. Don't get me wrong though. She's a very nice lady who was very professional and good at her job. We just didn't connect. So I went to see L again. She had mentioned she hadn't eaten so this time I brought flowers and some nice bagels to share. And again, it was a wonderful session but afterwards, I got the feeling that she wanted me gone. Maybe she was starting to worry about my attachment. Maybe I was starting to creep her out. So I left her to eat the food I had brought and went back to my growing obsession. But here's where it gets strange. I've always had a lot of female friends. I love talking to women and hanging out with them and suddenly, I stopped thinking about L as an object of sexual desire and more like a little sister. Someone I wanted to help move a sofa or fix her computer. That's it, I swore, I was done with providers. It's not right for me to pay these nice ladies to have sex with me. I wanted to be friends with L, transition from an SP-client relationship to a normal friendship. She was so cool, I just wanted to hang out with her. She rode a motorcycle like me. We had similar tastes in food and entertainment. We both love animals. So I asked her to go for lunch with me some time, to explore it. I'd even pay her social rate. No response. She was still corresponding with me but every time I brought up the subject of meeting in real life, ignored. Eventually, all my emails started dropping into a black hole. I know now that this is a huge no-no. It never happens. Providers don't want to be your friend. Even mentioning is a huge red flag. And I understand why. Guys are creepy and scary. Not all of us but enough of us. And some of us want to try to be your boyfriend. Your pimp. Take advantage. Get some for free. It's ugly and sad but there are a lot of predators out there and women need to use all their senses to protect themselves. Fast-forward to me finally flip-flopping on seeing providers yet again. "Why am I so afraid of this?", I asked myself. I hadn't slept in two weeks. I was a wreck. I need to understand what this is and what it all means to me. So I went to see someone else. I'm going to mention her name here because I think she might have saved my life and put me on the right track. She is, the lovely, the beautiful, the awesome Miss Cleocatra. She's gorgeous but that's not why I chose her. She struck me as smart, professional, savvy, someone who might be able to help figure out why I was so conflicted. We had a great session. It was fun and I think I did alright. Certainly I had a good time and I didn't feel ashamed of myself so that's something right? We didn't have that raw chemistry though. I liked her a lot. She's great fun and easy to talk to but it wasn't love at first sight or anything weird like that. She's wise though. And clever. I really wanted to learn more about her and the industry so I asked if I could book a social hour to ask her a bunch of questions about herself and other things. I suppose I should have just watched her youtube interview but I didn't know about that. ;-) She turned me down. She was polite but firm and wasn't interested in being interviewed or analyzed or talking about her business. We bounced a couple emails back and forth but what came out of it was one fundamental question that I think might change my life. "Why can't I stop over-thinking everything and just enjoy myself? Sex can just be for fun too." Wow. What a revelation. I'm sure it's obvious for most of you here but for a small town guy of conservative religious background with self-esteem issues, it's like a bolt from the blue. Suddenly it all made sense. Why I was clingy and needy. Why girls always dumped me. Why I sucked at relationships. This year has been different. I've started doing things away from my wife. Going to the gym, snowboarding. Doing the things I like to do instead of following her around everywhere. Taking care of myself and my appearance. Maybe she'll be more attracted to me as a strong independent man, maybe she won't. But it doesn't really matter anymore. This is for me. And I feel great. I feel confident and complete and whole in myself. And I owe it to some of the ladies on this site. So what about L? I feel terrible about how this went. Perhaps it meant nothing to her, perhaps I was just another clingy guy that she had to block emails from. Business as usual. But I'm not sure. I'm a good judge of people and I really don't think that what I felt was just because of my situation. I genuinely like her and I don't like a lot of people in this world. I feel like we could truly be friends but I accept that it will never happen. I really wish her the best and I'm so grateful that she helped me through this difficult journey. So maybe some day I'll be out riding and see a cute girl riding by on her sport bike. And I'll give her a wave. And maybe, just maybe, she'll wave back.

Are you trying to suggest that swallowing semen presents the same risk as bareback full service sex? Because if so, that is completely false and I suggest you look into actual sexual health facts before you just throw things out there like they are the truth. You can't just say that's "my two cents" about things that are not a matter of opinion.

Pretty much every day, I'll receive a few texts from numbers I've never seen before, just saying 'hi' or, 'hey'. I will never understand why these texts are sent. Most girls ignore them, to be honest. I occasionally will respond, saying 'Hello! If you'd like to see me, please introduce yourself and let me know what you're looking for, thanks!' other times I've said 'Hello! Who is this?', to get a response back with just a name. Like, Frank. Just Frank, nothing else. Not, Hello, this is Frank, wondering if you're available today?' I know sometimes a new client can be nervous with the first communciation. But please keep in mind, we are very happy to answer your questions, and if we accept texts (some girls state in their ads that they do not), then you are welcome to text us! But please, ask a question! Tell me what you're texting for. Because to just say 'Hi, then 'Frank', it's like pulling teeth. I'm not here to draw what you want out of you. You need to ask me, and then we can make an arrangement. I will admit, I sometimes can be a bit snarky in my responses to these texts. And i'm not a snarky person. But after the tenth 'Hey' or worse, 'hey babe', text I've received in a day, my patience may have hit it's limit. And I would hate for us not to get a chance to meet only because our texting didn't work out. Communication is key to a good encounter. Tell me who you are, and what it is you're looking for by contacting me. If you can't say more than a hello in a text, now how will we be able to talk in purrson silly!

Saw the strangest thing today. I was feeding cattle and happened to glance beside the tractor at an English sparrow that was acting weirdly. Turned out it was beside another sparrow that was lying still in the snow after presumably hitting the barn. The active bird was standing over it and using its' beak to repeatedly pull feathers on the downed bird's head and neck as if to get it to stand up. When that failed, the healthy bird spread it's wings and laid on top of the still one. For warmth.....protection.....I do not know, but when I returned less than 5 minutes later, they were both gone. It warmed my heart.

Welcome Gents, my name is Tiffany. I am 5'11" tall, 140lbs with short blond hair, hazel bedroom eyes, and a smile that will drive you crazy!! I belive in the simple pleasures of life, and love sensual experiences!! From the moment I walk into a room with you, you will feel the connection between us. From the first soft flirty move I make to a finish that will leave you weak in the knees, you will be thanking yourself for spending time with me! You will always leave my room felling relaxed and with a smile on your face!! Life is to be enjoyed. not just endured -Gordon B. Hincley Services Sensual Relaxation Massage Body Slides, to make you say OMG Sexy Soapy showers for 2 Duo massages(2 girls, 4 hands) Oh, you will never regret spoiling yourself to one of these!! Private Dance Shows Set you on Fire Girl Friend Experience Couples Welcome Click this bar to view the full image. Schedule Today: 10:00am - 7:00pm 65 Bentley Ave. 613-274-7073 Friday: 10:00am - 5:30pm 65 Bentley Ave. 613-274-7073 Click this bar to view the full image. Rates Single Massage 30mins: $50 45mins: $60 60mins: $80 Duo Massage rates available upon request Couple Massage rates available upon request Click this bar to view the full image. Contact To book an appointment please send me a PM, text me at 613-277-4328, or call the Spa at 613-274-7073 to ensure my avaliability!! Check out what others are saying about my service!! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=111731 Let me make Your Dreams Come True!!

Actually I know a lot of younger providers prefer older clients as well... so I wouldn't worry too much about being too old for 20something providers. I'm open to clients of all ages personally. I only prefer respectful ones. Since I started doing milf movies however I don't get the much older gents and more of the younger ones are drawn my way. I've even had some young clients come to me to lose their virginity. This is a huge responsibility that I found daunting at first but am now comfortable with. I may not connect with them on an age level.. but I connect with them on a teacher/student level which can be quite fun. The main reason younger clients can be less mature in my opinion is that 1) some think they're doing us a favor by providing us with a younger body and providing what they think is a more appealing sexual encounter than what they think we'd find a wrinkly old body. They have no clue what we want but assume. 2) They have a much much higher amount of testosterone surging through their bodies which clouds their judgement 3) They have been getting away with their moms telling them how adorable they are and they're spoiled by them so they carry it with them everywhere else in life (I can't tell you how often myself and other ladies have been asked. 'I'm cute. Can I get a discount?' 4)They lack the experience that an older person does which has already been covered here. I should also mention that ladies I know that are actual mothers in real life (I'm not one) don't want to see someone that could be their child's age. It feels too weird to them

Very captivating! Honestly couldn't stop reading it.

most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. Im ready to ROCK your world. My name is Crystal, one of my biggest pleasures in life is to please, so why not treat yourself and allow this sexy young babe take care of you. I offer amazing, non-rushed service that will have your mouth-watering. Soapy hot showers, a massage that will take away all your tensions, body slides you cant deny, i love to tease and to please. I can be an angel, or i can be your little devil. So what do you have to lose? your going to be coming back for more, and i cant wait to see you smile. Come play with me. :whipping: :dncdick:

19 day preemie heifer calf born an hour ago and it is blistering cold, so I put her beside a forced air heater and am thawing out colostrum. Decided to put a glove on and check her momma. Fml......another calf in there. I'll wait for momma to settle down and then deliver the second calf. It is going to be a short night after a long day with another day of -29 here tomorrow.

Tee hee! ;) One of the new purchases!

Well the day has arrived, early tomorrow off on another adventure, this time to New Zealand, Australia and Aubu Dhabi.

I do remember life and being in this business with no cerb and no sense of community in general. Yeah, it was sucky.lol. A special thanks to the Mod for creating such a great place to go to with no b.s. :)

For me, it depends on my partners approach. Rough, aggressive hands and behavior will immediate be stopped and my bottom will become off limits. Playful, sensual teasing attention will extend mileage and is thoroughly enjoyed! Even if I am asked up front about services by a new client, I am always hesitant to say yes because if they arrive with the wrong attitude it isn't going to happen. That goes for all services negotiated in advance when meeting an SP for the first time, not just ass play. Bite my clit and you'll never see my cookie up close and personal again, twist my nipples till they hurt without prior approval and you will get smacked, pull my hair, leave your hand imprint on my body anywhere without approval or fuck me so hard that I can't walk straight for a week and you'll be asked to leave and will never be invited back. But if you are someone I know and have developed a trust with, all these activities can be great fun. I have guests that I have no fear with because they have proven themselves to be trustworthy. The key is trust. Once you have it you may be pleasantly surprised at how much fun you can have with some of us... cat

Anything that makes me feel. Peaceful. love. soothed. joy, happiness. Hope. laughter. Those sounds can come from everywhere and no where. :) My favorite place to be? Is the feeling of being wrapped in your lovers arms and the rest of the world falls away..

In ottawa it is becoming a regular thing that is offered . Personally I am not a fan. I mean who is happy after only 15 minutes? It seems animalistic even 30 minutes seems rushed. But if it is being offered it must mean there is a demand

I know that our arrangment is as such that it is me that is here for you, an escape from your world to take you to a place of excitment and fantasy. Where you dont have to think. Where we can drown in a place of pleasure in togther. Or to seek comfort when your lonely, lost, stressed. I know that given our lives we cannot always be together when you want us to be. I understand that you have responsibilities that need to be attended to. Family, work. Please understand this for me as well. We live seperate lives. It is as it should be. I know this. I will always try to be here for you when you need me. Though its not always possible. I know it frustrates you sometimes when you are unable to reach me. Its frustrating for me as well. This double life we both lead sometimes makes meeting difficult. Be patient love, it will get better, easier. Sometimes I cannot share with you the reasons that keep me from you. That is also as it should be. In this illusion we've created unless we reach a level of trust. It does not allow me to tell you when Im hurting or sad or tired or ill. You do not come to see me for those things. You come to see me for my smile, the way my eyes light up when they search your face. You come to see me to feel my lips caress yours. To feel my hands exploring your body. To feel the gentleness of my touch. To share moments of time together to laugh, to love. To explore your dreams, your fanasies. I love being able to give that to you. To share that with you. I want to always give you the best of me. Anytime we speak. any time that we share that I am yours. If there is ever a time when I cannot give you the best of me. I will not. I do not want you to see me that way. I hope you understand. Do you realise how special it is what we share. The trust it takes in the other? The unspoken promises we've made without asking? To protect each other. To keep secrets in the moments we share. To keep each other safe. I know I trust you. I have to, to be able bring you to a place that even if its not mine. Its ours for that time. I trust you to be gentle with me and not cause me pain. You trust me to keep healthy and whole. It says alot about you, and about me to be able to do that. I's amazing xo I love that every time we see each other our connection grows, our trust grows. That the more we know each other. It just gets better and better. I dont know how to end this letter to you except to say. Until we meet or are able to meet again. I will be thinking about you. Always, Jade xoxo

Happy Birthday to Peachka, hope you enjoy your day!

I just saw this. It is awesome, Jade, just as you are.

.. Or even worse when some guys cant even say hello but just send a one liner like "Available? Rate? Location?" Please, guys, make a full sentence! lol ;)

I think that goes for everyone, but totally understand/agree how it would be much more of an annoyance for you ladies. How can you provide anything without knowing the wants first? :)

Happy Birthday ! Have an awesome day :)

Happy Birthday! :)

Thank you for sharing! Additional Comments: Thank you for sharing!

I love the way the world works,:) everything good, bad has a lesson, I truly believe that and that things/situations are given to you to help you change grow, evolve. I'd have to say it sounds like you llearned more than one lesson xoxo

Katrine is an excellent therapist. You can have a deep tissue and/or a relaxing massage plus the option of a tension "release". Plus, she's welcoming and her studio is always clean.

Have a very happy birthday!

That was really interesting to read. Happened to me as well that a client and I had feeling for each other. We had to stop seeing each other cause of that. But I totally understand your point. Thanks for sharing :-) xoxoxx Wish you all the best in 2013!

An update on the legal battle around bawdy-house laws, which will be before the supreme court in June. http://m.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/in-ontario-sides-line-up-as-battle-over-bawdy-houses-set-to-resume/article7508125/?service=mobile

Had hoped on my recent trip to Ott to see the lovely Bridgette at Barbs. But unfortunately schedules didn't work. I don't visit SCs too much anymore but someone like Bridgette can draw this old bear out of the den. So went anyway and met up with two amazing ladies. The night was cold and even inside some drafts kept things on the chilly side. Some of the ladies circled in hoodies and/or leggings. And they could make those look sexy too. I did meet up with both Karen and Snow who are extremely beautiful and sensual. They are very different in their look but I was immediately drawn to both. Karen has dark hair and the deepest brown eyes with a European/Latin look. Snow has light brown/blonde hair with the softest eyes. Each has a great personality and conversation. And our time in the CR was enought to take any chills away on a cold winter night. Cub may be coming out of the den a little more often. I now have 3 awesome women I would love to spend more time with.

The weather, -32 is NOT a temperature I enjoy.

cc. I hope no advertiser is dim enough to actually put in their real address, but it is a good warning to put out there in case they do. The feature allows you to put in just the city and then click on the pointer or whatever it is at some random cross street for the purpose of the map. I don't even give out my actual address to someone who is traveling from a far distance, I have the address of a building that is near the cross streets I provide for anyone who wants to google map to get directions and driving times, or to use for GPS.

Very odd...

6 more working days before i change jobs, still got a ton of work to complete, on top of meetings and training my replacement that arrives tomorrow (so we spent 6 days "together" on top of my workload), just to have management hand me more stuff to do as "i'm the only one who can do it" ... 2 days in a row. Mmmmm sometimes i wonder .....

A minor update from another thread: since this discussion happened, we now have a "thanks" button we can use, which does this:

One thing the Delta has going for it is the location of the elevators. You don't need to even really enter the lobby proper to get to them. You can come and go with hardly a sole seeing you. It's been my favorite for trysts in the past. I've even been to a couple of fairly loud... "group" events in there that did not raise suspicion from the staff.

Well of course this is true. We have to remember that as hobbyists and SP's, we are just regular men and women too. And with age comes life experience, knowledge and wisdom. There is no escaping this. And it includes everything, especially intimacy and the human connection. While some younger people may have "old souls" and are intelligent, they still lack life experience. And while some older people may have life experience, they might not be as intelligent or socially adept. Those are exceptions, but to judge based on age is only natural, because as humans, we live and learn... and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is an integral part of the life journey, and rather than always fighting it, we should be accepting it more for what it is; a thing of beauty.

RECOMMENDATIONS!! http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...hlight=chrissy $20 off any all sessions!!! please inform the receptionist that your a Cerbie!!;) ABOUT ME: 5'10, 21YRS, green eyed, sexy blonde with stunning legs that lead to heaven. All NATURAL DD!, Fit! and gorgeous features! Outgoing, Friendly, Sweet & Sexy! SERVICES: -Sensual, Relaxing Massage -Sexy showers for 2! -Nude Massages -GFE Experience -Body Slides -An ending you wont forget! -Hot tub sessions available! -Duo Massages (2 Girls, 4 Hands) AVAILABILITY: TODAY: 3:30-11 Saturday: 9-9 Sunday: 10-9 RATES Single Massage 30mins: $55 45mins: $65 60mins: $80 Hot Tub Sessions 30mins: $70 45mins: $85 60mins: $100 ----Duo Massage rates also available upon request---- LOCATION: Clean, Upscale and discreet West End location ! To book an appointment with me please feel free to PM me Dont miss this unforgettable experience!

I have a few, but some of my favorites are the sounds of waves crashing ashore hearing one of my little dogs snore my mothers voice-it's so soft, feminine-just comforting

First a trio of Canadian cliches... but I do really love them. I just came in from being outdoors (-20) so that's what made me think of the first one. 1. The crunchy squeaky sound of walking on snow when it's really cold. 2. The call of a loon at dusk or dawn. 3. A foghorn. 4. The sound of a clock ticking in an empty house. I don't think I really understand why I like this last one. The sound of a clock is always there, but you never notice it until the house is empty and quiet, usually late at night. It's a sound of solitude and almost loneliness but without the sadness that accompanies loneliness. It also reminds me of being a child when I visited older relatives who all had large/loud clocks so there's an element of nostalgia also.

I adjusted the tanks option so that EVERYONE can use it and it gives 25 rep points now as well. (It's nice to be thanked for info posted!)

My favourite sounds are definitely in nature. I really like the way really long grass sounds as it is blowing in the wind. The crunch of really hard snow under my feet. Waves crashing on an ocean beach. Sigh, takes me to a calm place!

The way a lover whispers my name in my ear--or calls me something dirty ;) Thunderstorms A good beat!

The sound of thunder, the rolling waves in the ocean ( even better when it's with classical music) and a kitten's meow.

A baby laughing !! it will put a smile on you face every time no matter how you might feel.

To be honest, I think it's up to whoever's traveling (you for incalls; the SP for outcalls) to make damn sure you know where you're going and how long it's going to take to get there, and to make sure you have enough time. Okay, traffic disasters happen, and you can't prepare for everything... but cancelling at the last minute really isn't fair and is probably a good way to annoy people, on either side. We've all been late because the traffic was crap and we hit every single red light on the way, but it's not good to make a habit of it. I keep a book in the car, that I'm reading in five- or ten-minute chunks when I have a few minutes to kill because I got there a bit early. I find that much better than getting horribly stressed because I'm going to be late.

Would you define your body type a little more for us? Skinny to one is almost BBW to another. There are several spinners who are excellent providers here on CERB. Peachy is extremely lithe with delicate features, Luxe Mulvari is slender yet exotic and there are others that are equally attractive, weigh about the same but all have different body types... cat

Go and see Kelly On Cambridge. I have seen her on a regular basis and she has worked miracles on my back and shoulders... Rodehard

I thought I'd start a thread with some FYI's for the gentlemen...Ladies and gents alike, please add in some thoughts/experiences as well! 1. You cannot just jump right in and jam on. If you're scared to warm up the oven with your fingers (or a toy), forget about baking your bread in there. 2. Lube goes a long way. No, your spit is not enough. 3. I don't care if you're only 5 inches long, you also happen to be 4 inches wide! NOT GONNA HAPPEN! 4. You're right, I can't get pregnant that way. But I can come across an array of STDs and other infections. JIMMY UP! I know most of you will see the above info as "DUH, isn't all of that obvious?" It is not obvious to all. I've had to "educate" a number of people recently which is what inspired this thread. Many people seem very intrigued by the topic, but know nothing about it whatsoever. Hope we get a nice discussion going on here and we can all maybe learn a little something!

Hi Erin, you have 16211 reputation points and this gives you a reputation power of 47 (so every time you nominate someone or leave a positive comment to reward someone you give that person 47 points) the system only lets you give points to the same member You can only give 10 members reputation every 24 hours. Here are some other details of how it works... [--] Register Date Factor For every 30 days of membership users gain 1 point of reputation-altering power. [--] Post Count Factor For every 50 posts, users gain 1 point of reputation-altering power. [--] Reputation Point Factor For every 5000 points of reputation, users gain 1 point of reputation-altering power. [--] Minimum Post Count You must have 25 posts before your reputation hits count on others [--] Minimum Reputation Count You must have 1500 reputation points before your reputation hits count on others [--] Daily Reputation Clicks Limit A user can only give 10 reputation points over each 24 hour period NOTE: Administrators are exempt from this limit. NOMINATED POSTS GET A BONUS 100 POINTS NOMINATED POST WINNERS GET 5000 POINTS SECOND PLACE GETS 2000 and THIRD GETS 1000 Hope that helps... the system is rather complex and it took a lot of work to find the right numbers for all the settings.