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My mother passed away recently. There had always been tension between my mother and her family. My Aunts did not want to attend the funeral or reception but they did. Other people at the funeral told them wonderful stories about my mother. This helped them with their closure and gave them a sense of peace and forgiveness. Forgiving someone who has done you wrong can be a bitter pill to swallow. Your first reaction is probably to hold on to your anger and to blame the person who caused you pain. This is natural. However, what you must understand is that holding on to hurt and anger causes you more pain than the person your anger is directed towards. For this reason, it is necessary to forgive - not for the other person, but for yourself. In order to forgive, it is necessary to let go of all the negative emotions you harbor towards the other person. Anger, hurt, betrayal, bitterness, regret - you need to find an outlet for all of these bad feelings, otherwise they will fester and cause you further pain. Remember, you are not doing this to ease the other person's conscience or to condone their actions, you are doing it to allow yourself to heal and move forward.

Hanging onto negative emotions and thoughts of someone doing us wrong is only hurting us. It doesn't hurt the person we are upset with, it doesn't teach them a lesson. By holding onto these feelings, we are giving someone power over us and how we feel. It eats away at us and focuses our energy in not so nice ways. It's not easy to forgive but there are ways to deal with it. Does hanging onto this stuff serve you positively? Do you feel better because of it? Are you relationships better because of it? Most of the time, the answer is no if we're honest. I can tell you from experience that forgiving (not forgetting) can lift weights you never even knew existed on your shoulders. This also moves into the arena of being offended on behalf of someone else. Why would you pick up someone else's baggage, don't you have enough of your own? Forgiveness is not an act but an attitude. Forgiveness is personal for our own good and for the good of others, this is why it is an attitude. If it were an act, it would be a tactic to improve, stop bad feelings or anger directed at us and it would have no meaning. It would be manipulation. Forgiveness is empowering for us and dis-empowering for others. I'm all for anything that empowers us. Spiritual whoha...my two cents.

Why do some people do such mean things? How can they do such harm to something so innocent and undeserving? Thankfully there are some that step in to rectify the damage others have created. I hope those kind souls will be forever rewarded. I hope you don't mind me sharing this touching video.

I can tell you from personal experience that there are things that people can do that make it extremely difficult to forgive. Sometimes we don't want to forgive because the pain is just to hard.... sometimes we don't want to forgive because we are too angry... and sometimes we don't want to forgive because we want to punish and hurt the other party like they have hurt us and we see forgiving them as letting them off the hook. As others in this thread have said forgiving is not forgetting it is releasing yourself from the hurt and pain of the act you are forgiving... its about you and not them. That is the wonderful truth... to forgive is to release yourself so you can move on... but while it makes perfect sense it is often an excruciating thing to do... i know... i have people in my life that I need to forgive but the reality is I can't.... its been years but I just can't. this does not make me a bad person just a person who is still healing... it's OK to give your self the time to do that...when you do the forgiveness will come. Just my opinion.

Jafo105 is right and I don't think anyone can say it better. Remember forgiving isn't forgetting, it's the best way to heal and to move on. Not an easy thing to do but the best thing.

I will just add that forgiveness is not something you give to someone else it is a gift you give to yourself. It frees you from the pain of the issue and really has nothing to do with the the person who hurt you. Without forgiveness you continue to allow the person who hurt you to have power within your life letting it go frees you... it does not mean everything goes back to the way it was.. just that you have released yourself from the emotional baggage. Do it for you not for them.... Great idea just really hard to do. Just my opinion.

I always find it funny when someone wants to see me "right now". I need time to primp! Is it wrong of me to want to put my best foot forward? Contrary to popular belief, we ladies go to the gym, we go to work, we volunteer, we walk our dogs, we go to the store, we change flat tires, blah blah blah. Essentially what I am saying is that we don't sit around perfectly coifed! A little rant to solidify the fact that as serious and professional providers we choose to see you when we are at our absolute best! Your pleasure is my desire!

Not much more to add to the wonderful advice here, but here is a little mantra I say to myself when I have been wronged. " I wish you find peace and happiness somewhere away from me" Instead of saying " I hate you, I wish you harm" I find that mantra allows me to forgive and move on without harbouring anger towards that person. It also allows karma to take over.

@ phaedrus, I know it's hard to believe, but believe me, some men don't require it and I'd even say that I have heard clients not caring about it at all... Here's my take on this...As we say, "you only have one chance to make a first impression". I believe that there's a minimum effort to put before a session... You don't have to have to take hours putting on gobs of makeup, fake lashes, fake hair.... But yes take the time - the effort to be well presented - whatever you decide to wear. Personally, I enjoy taking the time to be well presented before an encounter. I am considerate about my clients and I like them to enjoy me at my "best". I believe that as provider, we have to be attractive and desirable. Before an encounter, I'll ask a client what he likes, and if he has any particular requests. (and I'll always do my best to please him in that manner) I believe that most guys notice and appreciate when the sp is clearly making an effort, which is encouraging. When I greet you, I want you see me as a present that has been careful prepared and wrapped for you. A present that you can't wait to unwrap and enjoy.... To sum up, hygiene is important and so is making a little effort to be desirable for you gentlemen. It's about showing respect & setting the tone for excitement and fun. xoxo

I think it is a very hard thing to determine in advance how a particular lady might react. Certainly the idea of a retainer and asking a lady what such an arrangement might cost is not haggling from my perspective so I like Roamingguy's approach but I would be cautious with suggesting a reduced rate without a good feeling of how the lady might react. If you have been seeing this lady regularly ie weekly, then I think you would be in the best position to have a good insight into how she will react. Given the other SP posts on this thread it may be a welcome gesture that she will appreciate. The fact that you are asking might Indicate you think she might not like the idea..... or are you possibly throwing it out here in the hope she reads it and expresses an opinion (lol very sneaky of you). For me personally based only on my experience seeing a lady regularly has its own inherent benefits that have nothing to do with the rate that I pay. When I start seeing a lady I accept that the rate is reasonable for the experience she will provide me so it would never cross my mind to look for a better rate or a volume discount if I wanted more of the Amazing ladies time. For me... this would be disrespectful to the lady (lol shows what I know given the SP responses in this thread). My understanding of a retainer is that you pay an amount in advance to ensure the availability of a service provider (lawyer, Accountant, courtesan) on a consistent basis regardless of whether the service is actually used during the period. It is not a discounted hourly rate. For me your idea is more a request for a volume discount which there is nothing wrong with if both parties see it as beneficial to them. The seller hopes to make more money by encouraging a higher level of purchases and by getting the money up front while the buyer hope to achieve a reduced unit cost because of their volume purchase. Good Luck with it either way I hope you and the lady in question find an arrangement that works for both of you... after all if you and her are happy that is really all that matters. Just my Opinion

so I'm new at this but Ima give this my honest first impression. the one thing in my mind where I personally could not forgive is any abuse where a child or a handicapped individual is involved. In almost any other set of circumstances where there is true remorse I think I could see a way to forgive. the situation where someone is clearly not in a position to understand what is happening or is betrayed as a child...well, I dont think I could ever forgive. that may seem harsh but it is how I feel.

Tessa Virtue Canada - Dance Skating Additional Comments: Ina Meschik - Austria snowboarding

THANK YOU MOD! I dont know what is it so hard for some guys to understand that the GFE term describes a feeling.., the way how a massage session can be very intimate yet NOT NECESSARILY means that they will Get the so called "Extras" ... that the term GFE has nothing to do with An Specific Service... Is An Experience As a whole! THANK YOU AGAIN :)

Nothing is ever black or white which is why some topics may be difficult to determine one's feelings about. Take your hesitation as a sign that you want to know more about the subject. It has you interested enough, it is worthy of investigation. I see that as an inquisitive mind and that's a good thing. Inquisitive people tend to not make brash decisions and tend not to impose their beliefs on others.

My take on this. Approach the lady you would like to see about a retainer relationship. Tell her what you would like (ie once a week for two hours paid up front at the beginning of the month) She would tell you what the donation would be for such an arrangement and you can both set up your weekly dates Don't suggest any rates. She'll tell you her rate for a retainer type relationship. And since you know one another, you trust her and I assume by extension she trusts you, it should be something you can discuss openly. You may even wish to have an encounter with her and during the encounter discuss such an arrangement in person. My two cents RG

I thought I would take the opportunity to follow some of the more "provocative" (and I mean in a good way) female athletes. Please share your favs as we celebrate the winter Olympics. Is this a fair tactic? Hannah Teter - snowboarding USA

Jessica, I don't think your doing anything wrong, as all cities have their ups & downs. I can suggest visiting the smaller markets less frequently (once every 3-4 months) and with Ottawa, start asking for a deposit for new guests - I found that has helped almost make the no shows disappear :) Safe travels and best of luck xoxo Emily

I understand what you are saying, and seeing as my father passed away last year and I have a mother, brother, sister in law and nephew left, yes, I have a smaller family. At one time I might have agreed with you thinking family is everything. But when your family, two I have known all my life, one for thirty years, do something, knowing full well the consequences to me, maybe permanent, that they do not have to live with those consequences, but I do...well being family isn't an automatic get a forgive and forget get out of jail free card. Every day since October 13th I've had to live with what they did. I can't forget, and they have no remorse or given even an apology, so I can't forgive. My life is upside down right now because of them (not being melodramatic, it's really upside down), maybe just till May, maybe forever. If forever, how can I ever forget? And no matter what, I'll never trust them again RG

My looks Long Blond Hair Baby soft, Tanned skin No tatto's BRIGHT blue eyes 34B flexible Athletic This weeks Scheduled Today 11-4pm Thursday 5-11pm At the most upscale Spa in Ottawa Paradise Spa 613-820-8887 Love Cherry Blossom xoxoxo

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/02/09/cat-bite-hospital-stay/5276997/ Mary Bowerman, USATODAY 11:09 a.m. EST February 9, 2014 A cat bite on the hand can turn into a hospital stay, according to a new study. A recent Mayo Clinic study shows that one out of three people who sought treatment for a cat bite to the hand were hospitalized. Published in February in the Journal of Hand Surgery the study looked at 193 patients who received treatment for a cat bite on the hand from January 2009 through 2011. Two thirds of those hospitalized during the study required surgery to flush out the infection in the wounds and middle-aged women were the most common bite victims. Brian Carlsen, a researcher on the study and orthopedic surgeon at Mayo Clinic, said cat's fangs penetrate the skin and push bacteria deep into joints and tissue, causing infection. He said people tend to ignore cat bites because they are so small, but they can lead to a laundry list of medical treatments. "The bites lead to serious infections that can require multiple hospitalizations, antibiotics and sometimes surgery," Carlsen said. Just how bad can a cat bite be? Dawn Bothun, of Minnesota said a bite on her hand turned into an eight-week hospital ordeal and $150,000 in medical bills. Bothun said she waited one week after her black cat, Mr. Binks, bit her hand to go to Saint Mary's Hospital, part of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. "I washed the wounds on my wrist and put antiseptic on them," Bothun said. "I thought I could manage them on my own but I couldn't move my wrist after a week." She said what followed was eight weeks in and out of the hospital, two weeks of surgery every other day to flush the infection out of the wound and remove infected tissue, and antibiotics to treat the rampant infection. "The infection from the cat bite reached my tendon," Bothun said. "Every time they would stitch me up after flushing the wound the infection would just get worse. The pain almost drove me up the wall." According to the study patients with bites directly over the wrist or any joint have a higher risk of hospitalization. Carlsen said the study showed the hand and wrist are the perfect breeding ground for bacteria, making outpatient antibiotic treatment hard. The study showed that administering antibiotics failed in 21 of the 193 patients, who later received treatment in the hospital. "A bite on the thigh probably isn't an issue because the cat probably just bites the fat," Carlsen said. "When the cat bites the hand, the joints and tendons are protected with fluid and there is no circulation so bacteria can grow like crazy, making treatment longer in some case." Bothun said she still feels pain in her wrist and does not have full movement. She said because she was uninsured the hospital wrote off some of the bill but she is still making payments. As for Mr. Bink's, she said they are still on good terms, but things have changed. "We don't play like we used to," Bothun said. "When my grandkids come over I don't let him around them, because things happen." Carlsen said the lesson is that people need to be careful of cat bites and monitor them for swelling and redness. "It may look like a pin prick, but rule of thumb go see a doctor if a cat bites your hand," Carlsen said.

I am back into my wheelchair and on my crutches again for the first time in a long time. However, there is no snow in the forecast so I won't have to go outside and shovel while sitting on my ass, which I have done before! As well, if you have to have a week of basically sitting around, what better week than in the middle of the winter Olympics!

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." I'd say being on the fence and changing your opinion can be a sign of someone who is trying to act rationally, and that being willing to change your mind when new or better evidence/arguments come along is a good thing. In my experience those who tend to have a strong, unchangeable opinion on everything are not so much "strong willed" as stubbornly (annoyingly) fanatical.

people well still have a lot to learn :( i have looked after raised and helped animals of every type you could imagine and have seen people do the stupidest things to them. some people think there are superior to any thing else and can do what they want. for example in the middle of a forest one on a trip i saw someone try and stomp on a squeal with his foot and when i stopped him and said why are you doing this, his reply was that they are a bother and should not be here, first off we are in the "MIDDLE OF A FOREST" i mean come on, and this is one of the tamest stories i have. i try to save ever animal i can to al least make up the the ***h**** out there. P.S. if you would like pics let me know. :) TC

I struggle with meanness, hate and deception daily . Weather it be here on Cerb or daily everyday living . All of it makes me very sad . However, Karma is a strong force in my life and I take comfort in knowing ( for sure ) hurting any living being will come back and in a very bad way . I see it all the time , I do my best to help in the immediate , however long term abuseres beware . You will pay by your own hand .

I have to admit I'm a little surprised by the overwhelming response that this would be welcomed and not a negative. I get the idea that this provides the woman a level of predictability and certainty so thats a good thing but the idea of getting some perks like extended sessions etc did feel like it would be negotiating or haggling to get a deal. I guess its not that different than some spas that allow you to purchase a set of door fees in advance and give u one free. I guess it just feels different when its with an individual versus with a spa but really isn't that different. seems like a thumbs up from this group :)

This is the way i suggest you approach it. if someone came to me and asked me to give 90 minutes for the price of 60 on not just one but all of the appointments even prepaid, I would not be interested. I have always had the opinion that being regular meant that the person agrees with and is content with my rate as is. And in exchange, when/if my rates were to increase, they would not be increased for the long time regular client. :) My friend however does a buy 5 get one free approach. Prepay for 5 sessions, and the 6th is free. That also would not be getting 1.5 for the price of one, but you can see that there is still a benefit to the prepayment 'on account'.

There's nothing wrong with not having an opinion on something at all! And it certainly doesn't reflect a lack of effort on your part - I've often found that discovering more about something leads to less certainty about what my opinion is, rather than more. Doubt is an inescapable element of the human condition.

Teenage prostitution is not always underage prostitution. There will always be a desire to have sex with young woman both in and put of this lifestyle. It's the way we are wired. There is nothing Wong with consenting adults doing this, she was 17 years old, right on the cusp. It would honestly be difficult to tell I would think between a 17 and 18 year old. Seeking out young women should not be turned in to a huge thing. If they are women. Not girls. I've been doing some research on sexuality and age. It has proven to be very interesting. I actually stumbled on it while looking in to mandatory reporting so right along this topic

Assessing the pro sand cons is always a positive, but in the end you make a decision. Of importance though is that you have confidence in your judgement, and can move on and be comfortable whether you have all he facts or are 100% sure. If you are presented by new information you can always revisit the issue.

I am often indecisive. I think it is common to have differing opinions about particular subjects. As Meg said, not everything is black and white. Don't be to hard on yourself or question your thoughts, having many is better than having none at all:) Sometimes weighing the pros and cons can bring about a conclusion for you, either way nothing to worry or feel bad about, you're good:)

Sometimes what appears indecisive or wishy washy is in fact learning. Case in point...me. When I first embarked on this lifestyle, a wet behind the ears newbie one of the topics that came up was verification. Well my newbie opinion, and worth just that LOL was no way in hell does a lady have a right to know my personal information, my privacy is just too important to risk it. But in the course of reading CERB posts, not to mention my first encounter with a lady requiring verification, I learned this lifestyle is about ladies and gentlemen, and both of their needs and requirements. I learned the error of my thinking LOL and I'm now one of the biggest (ok maybe not biggest) proponents of verification. Was I indecisive or did I learn something and change my opinion Anyhow, don't know if that helps, but a rambling for what it's worth RG

It's too cumbersome to have a strong opinion about everything. A lot of the times I know that I need more information to completely asses the situation, information that I won't get just by reading the paper, or watching the news. One example in Toronto that's a very complicated topic is a runway extension for a downtown Airport which is on an island. Issues range from jobs, economics, taxes to noise, pollution, viability. Proponents from both sides who know what they are talking about have excellent points, otherwise a lot of people are spewing nonsense or basic talking points. I know that the situation isn't completely clear, and I don't have all the information to really decide one way or the other yet.

All the term GFE means "Girl Friend Experience" as opposed to "standard service" (standard meaning they do not play into the sensual or intimate part they just get the job done for you and out the door you go) instead GFE implies that the lady plays into the fantasy of intimacy and sensuality.... I would assume "ultimate" would imply that they are really good at this. GFE does not imply that ANY services are included. If you assume certain services are included you will find yourself disappointed. (Your hygiene and attitude would also make a big difference in how "ultimate" your experience would be too I suspect) I am sure others will charm in here, I just wanted to mention that GFE & PSE are "STYLES OF SERVICE" and NEVER implies that certain SERVICES are to be expected.

My name is PassionVitto I have been a member since August 2012 I am an addict because the first thing that I do in the morning is log in to Cerb.. And last thing i do in the day before going to bed is Log in to cerb.. I am an addict because I am always looking forward to reading some interesting posts from my fellow members... I am an addict cause I look forward to open my profile and find new messages on my guest book, my inbox or picture comments :). And everytime I have a notification I have a smile in my face.. How mamy hours do I spent on Cerb a day?? Are you prepared for it?? Well I come on at 6am and get off at 9pm.. Take breaks while I am busy relaxing with playdates hehe... And while at the gym... Ok ok also when I am in the shower unfortunately my phone will braek if I bring it in with me lol... So conservately speaking... 8 hours! I log in from my blackberry, from my tablet.., from muy computer... I love CERB because it has shown me a hole new perspective of how adult entertainers such as myself and the gentleman have so much to share, how friendships can be made, and how much respect for others opinions is valued! I love Cerb because all the members have welcome me with open arms. I join because it was a tool to advertise my services, but I am still here because is way more than that, is a great community where we all share stories! I am an addict, and I admit it! Thanks for listening! Vitto

If you don't have to pay her to be with her then you are in a relationship. If you have to pay her to enjoy her company you are not. It's as simple as that. Yes I've fallen in love with Escorts before mainly cause they were so good at creating the fantasy. It's not real....keep that in mind.

Happy Birthday Robyn!

I would have to agree with Cinelli, Pembroke is a small town.. There is a few manufacturing companies there, but the pulp/paper industry seems to always on strike!!! It survives mostly due to CFB Petawawa IMO. As for Ottawa, I am a little perplexed why you are having issues, perhaps other CERBies may have recommendations. P.S. not quite sure what fierce competition is happening across the river !?! other than SClubs.. D.

Wishing you all the best on your day ! happy Bday

To get rid of an annoying ear worm try reading something you find interesting or enjoyable.....some good erotica should do the trick!

Well and just my opinion, but it isn't up to the injured party to initiate forgiveness. How can one forgive someone when the party who has done the injuring hasn't even apologized. And a apology means absolutely nothing unless there is genuine remorse. Without remorse an apology is just words. For me this hits very close to home. My family (mother, brother and sister in law) did something to me that affects my life, to this day, negatively. The damage, don't know if it's permanent or temporary. All my mother can do is comment about how I don't visit her as often, my brother, the odd phone call, and nothing from my sister in law. I can't forgive them, because they haven't even acknowledged the damage they've done to me, and in the case of my mother, all she can focus on is how what she did to me affects her (I don't visit as often). The relationship between my family and me was close to being estranged. It's a bit better now, not great, but not a hateful one. But no matter what, I'll never trust them again. And I don't know now, if I can forgive them. I do know if it turns out the damage they did is permanent I just won't be able to forgive them. RG

My name is olderguy and I have become a CERB addict. I live in Kingston. I have been here for 20 months. Like most it started very slowly and I my visits here were sporadic. I now visit multiple times a day. Sometimes I'm a poster and other times I'm just a lurker. I enjoy reading both the threads and the ladies ads. CERB has been the conduit to some very wonderful liaisons. :)

Happy Anniversary.... always enjoy your posts and good to see another active NL her in the community

Congrats nlwoodchuck on both your 1 year anniversary and the 500 post mark!

I was going to write something thoughtful but as I am presently on the throne and my legs have fallen asleep while I read all of the other insightful posts on this thread, I'll just say this: Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. Be yourself, take a chance and play nice. Good things are bound to happen. Now if I can only stand up without falling back in, I'll consider the day a success. :icon_eek:

Tuesday Robyn 10-4 aka "robynxoxo" Taylor 10-11 aka "Taylor Devine" Summer 10-4 aka "SUMMERLOVE" Lexi 10-4 aka "Sexy Lexi" Hazel 3:30-11 NEW aka "HearttrobHazel" Chantal 3:30-9 aka "Chantal Summers" Kelly 6:30-11 aka "Kelly2010" Couples Special for all you frisky couples ...all ladies dressed in sexy lingerie too :smile: Door Fee for Valentine's Day.... 1 or 2 Attendants 30 minute $50. 45 minute $60. 60 minute $80. Cuties here for you Friday...... Hazel 10-11 NEW aka "HearttrobHazel" Marlie 10-4 aka "Marvelous Marlie" Pandora 10-4 aka "Pandora" Summer 10-4 aka "SUMMERLOVE" Hannah 3:30-11 aka "Hannahxo" Maya 3:30-11 aka "Midnight Maya" Lexi 3:30-11 aka "Sexy Lexi" ONLINE AD http://www.cerb.ca/classifieds/ottawa-massage-ads/p62-top-ladiesnew-ma-27s.html New Pics Pandora http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/sit...doras-profile/ New Sexy Pics http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/ 3 rooms, up to 8 sexy ladies on daily! Private Dance shows available upon request! Click here to see NEW pics of room: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.php?albumid=3340 New Sexy Pics of our Hotties http://www.angelstouchmassage.ca/site/the-angels/ Full Body Relaxation Massage Single Massage: 30 minutes $50. 45 minutes $60. 60 minutes $80. 90 minutes $120 Couples Massage: 1 Attendant 30 minute $60. 45 minute $70. 60 minute $90. Duo/Couples Massage:2 Attendants 30 minute regular $100. on special for $80. 45 minute regular $120. on special for $100. 60 minute regular $160. on special for $130. HST included in door fee prices. Longer Sessions available and @ Discretion of MA ...... Tips Accepted...... ATM on site......Spacious Rooms with Private Showers..... Summer's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...?ltr=S&t=45598 http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=155504 Taylor's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=155684 Robyn's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...?ltr=R&t=82591 Maya's Recommendations http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=M&t=63977 Chantal's Recommendations ***NEW RECOMMENDATION http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=141299 HIRING.....We seeking attractive hard working ladies! You must be 18 years of age or older to be employed at Angel's Touch. We require proof of legal age and legal eligibility to work via a valid government identification and/or other documentation as required by law. Chantal Hazel Robyn

I crave lots of things: Left over Pizza in the morning Apple Pie and ice-cream Dill Pickles Italian food Eggo waffles Salmon Orange Juice Every morning French Fries Chowder with any type of seafood Egg Rolls Raspberries Blueberry crumble But as you can see there is one thing I crave more than the rest.