Jump to content

An Interview with Emily Rushton - Why Screening Isn't a Choice But a Necessity

Recommended Posts

Thank you @EmilyRushton for your thoughts on this important topic.  I’m frankly amazed at how few ladies I’ve met do any screening at all and i have wondered how they keep themselves safe.  Having said that the first SP that I ever met did have a very large kitchen knife on a counter close by when I walked in the door.

At the same time I know I would feel strange asking another lady for a reference.  Still I think screening is important to do.  I think it protects both the lady and the gentleman too.  No scammer is going to going to ask you for a reference and proof of employer before they scam you!

Tip of the hat to Lydia for another insightful interview.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@EmilyRushton thank you and I appreciate this interview so much! When I started I got so frustrated at how many people refused screening. I thought I must be doing something wrong. Thankfully, I am surrounded by some wonderful women who assured me that it is my right to screen as I feel fit. If someone really respects you, they do not mind answering the questions that keep us safe. 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Interesting topic and well answered! Such a difficult task of getting the right balance between safety and privacy whilst filtering out the time wasters!

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amazing interview and I agree 1000%

 

I have also never had a bad date and screening is the reason why. 

 

This is not to say anything against women who don't screen. We all work differently. I wish that every lady could screen the same way. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Screening and safety is serious business. Knowing it has differential impacts and sight lines, depending on our positions of power and privilege in this industry (which can fluctuate alot even in one life)... and, more, acknowledging that we do perform a certain drag of acceptability to be considered professional or in the know; that those problems are themselves sights of meaningful intervention, (social class, racial consciousness), 

 

I think of a few things.
 

Consumerism, respectability politics affects us in the ways we relate about safety, especially in spaces where we know our patrons see what we’re saying. Social justice takes precedence over optics, always. Each bleeding through the cracks and crevices and self-consciousness of it all. 


Very few of us would be able to effectively run our businesses in the ways described above.  But it does signal to an idea of exclusivity that can bolster our images while playing into a void where practices that stand outside of that are people who are imagined as inviting violence upon themselves. Infantilizing and, in the least, portraying people as not doing enough. We don’t have to say it directly. It just becomes invisible, inferred... the issues of power, those imbalances and that legal violence which remain. 


practical strategies, varied approaches, sharing community resources and wisdom take us outside of ourselves. 

 

What we desire and what is happening are not one in the same. In this way, when we do interviews that attempt to represent not only our business practices but also broader understandings of workers and clients  it’s good to make sure we know what we mean when we say this or that is essential. That is, especially in a racist settler culture where GFE and or companion work often involves swallowing other peoples’ anxieties about being caught seeing a companion while being pert and sweet, all the while trying to keep ourselves in a good way. There’s a coded ness to those relations that permeate between and beyond rigid client/worker identities. I sure as hell hope so. I see that humanity every day. How do we activate it?

How do we to find ways to communicate across the strictures of entertainment, pleasure and encourage deeper truth telling? 
 

Is it ok to say that part of safety is also speaking truth for what it means to do this really meaningful work (my assertion)  while taking the greatest hits as it pertains to surveillance, isolation and comforting people who themselves actively benefit from our restrained conditions of work? What is the consequence of appearing well adjusted to such notions of gentility to maintain composure? How much if that is the healer is us working with what we have?... seeing through the fluff to run our game in the face of challenges. Seeing our fullness and receiving that of others should not mean omitting some of these troubles of mutual recognition. 
 

How can I stop colluding with power to allow a way of thinking through what it means to be safer? 
 

I can become unwittingly complicit in those fascinations because those power relations have currency and we need currency/value  to exist in relationships. 
 

I do not say this to over center myself or to attack either you Lydia or Emily. It’s not about individuals. It’s more a drop in the pond of dialogue to encourage community responsiveness (making Lyla receptive to a range of experiences and street smarts) and making sure we are centering efforts rooted in community when we are talking about pressing issues of how to keep ourselves safer. Screening and even after the screening. Empathy for what it looks like on the ground. 

I struggle through the myopia of these problems and am encouraged by community constantly. They are civic issues as much as they are couched as professional ones. 
 

Being raped, robbed, assaulted are things all of us share concern in. Many who would give their full name and have references enact violence against us on regular basis (overstepping boundaries, micro aggressions, stalking). Just as much of concern. 

 

I wonder, how, we on Lyla could help encourage topical interviews that do this centering work? Rooted in collaborative/justice oriented views of safety.
 

Without this I fear we will confuse personal  celebrity culture (rugged individualism) with justice and equity. The only way MFs are going to stop raping, robbing or otherwise messing with us is if we can mobilize strength of insight to know the difference. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, that certainly is a lot to think about Liv Waters.  If only we, random groups of lyla members, could have a get together every so often to talk about these issues in person.  When reading a post it's hard to know sometimes if you are getting what the writer is trying to convey. 

It's easy to just gloss over the obvious mechanics of the industry.  It's harder to to look deeper and ponder the truth and reality of what is really happening.

Thanks Liv for your thoughtful insight.

Thank you Lydia for another interesting interview.

Than you Emily for sharing some of your valuable experience.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, JamesB700 said:

If only we, random groups of lyla members, could have a get together every so often

I’m up for that, post COVID of course, lol. Maybe two regionals, one eastern, one western? Anyone want to coordinate? I’d help with an Eastern one. We even had a ‘howto’ thread on it a couple years ago 🙂

-cbs

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, clearbluesky15 said:

I’m up for that, post COVID of course, lol. Maybe two regionals, one eastern, one western? Anyone want to coordinate? I’d help with an Eastern one. We even had a ‘howto’ thread on it a couple years ago 🙂

-cbs

I would love this! Certainly something to think about for the (hopefully near) future 😉

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great interview! Thanks for doing it, Emily!

One other thing...

On 11/29/2020 at 1:07 PM, Sharpe said:

At the same time I know I would feel strange asking another lady for a reference. 

I get where you're coming from, but really, it's fine. Nobody expects exclusivity here - you know that she sees other clients, and she knows that you see other ladies. I've never encountered a provider who had issues with anyone else I'd seen. And most ladies are quite happy to give a reference - just make sure you're asking someone who you've seen relatively recently (that person you saw once, three years ago, isn't going to remember you)... and I think it's polite to give the person you're asking a reference from a heads-up first.

 

 

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Phaedrus said:

Great interview! Thanks for doing it, Emily!

One other thing...

I get where you're coming from, but really, it's fine. Nobody expects exclusivity here - you know that she sees other clients, and she knows that you see other ladies. I've never encountered a provider who had issues with anyone else I'd seen. And most ladies are quite happy to give a reference - just make sure you're asking someone who you've seen relatively recently (that person you saw once, three years ago, isn't going to remember you)... and I think it's polite to give the person you're asking a reference from a heads-up first.

 

 

Oh yes, I’m sure it would fine to ask for a reference.  It’s not about exclusivity.  Just feels strange asking.  Then again I don’t like asking people for a job reference either.  

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Its two fold. A lot of gents engage is this practice seeking anonymity. While I do understand the dangers and benefits of screening. I also do not think its wrong for a gent to seek anonymity as that's really the whole point of this for some. As a John how do I know the information used in the screening process won't be used against me in the future. I'm also trusting that the provider is an honest trustworthy individual which history would suggest especially locally here is not always true as we have seen extortion cases. When a lady posts I am almost 99.9% sure its not under her real name so why should I be complicit in revealing my full identity. Just my two cents I don't think there is any right or wrong and I will always believe that as a provider you have the right to run you buisness as YOU want. But as a John I also think we have a right to pursue an encounter of anonymity as well. Never a blanket solution for all unfortunately.  

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Jurgen287 said:

Its two fold. A lot of gents engage is this practice seeking anonymity. While I do understand the dangers and benefits of screening. I also do not think its wrong for a gent to seek anonymity as that's really the whole point of this for some.

Screening doesn't have to compromise your anonymity.

A lot of screening is simply done on the basis of your behaviour during the booking process. Did you contact the lady using the method of contact she specifies, or did you call her text-only number? Did you use complete sentences, or did you just say, "Rates? Location?" Did you give her reasonable length of time to reply, or did you get abusive after a whole two minutes of waiting? Did you ask questions that are clearly answered on her website? Are you carrying on the conversation and tire-kicking without ever actually booking? If she asks you to confirm the day before, did you do that? All of this (and more) matters, and none of it identifies you in any way other than "not an idiot or an asshole", which you can hopefully live with.

When it comes to references, that still doesn't *have* to compromise your anonymity. Admittedly, this bit is harder if you're new to all this and don't have a track record... but there are quite a few providers out there who don't ask for references (although they still screen, as above) and who will give you references in turn later on. And references can be given without real names being attached... if your handles/email address/phone number line up then the people giving and receiving the reference know they're talking about the same person, which is what matters.

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/4/2020 at 7:55 AM, lydiahardwood said:

I would love this! Certainly something to think about for the (hopefully near) future 😉

I would be open to this too. It would be cool to have someone to talk to about this hobby in person instead of just online. 

Also before I got into this, I didn't know that SPs helped each other screen clients. I'm glad you do. It's steps like this that will help ensure the safety and wellbeing of clients and escorts alike.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the safety  of the SP is of top priority. There are a lot of horrible  men who use escorts. I know of a few stories of abuse, stalking and downright cruel behaviors on the part of men. So, I support whatever screening protocols are in place to protect the women in this industry. 

 

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Emily, as a same day booker, I have minimal screening requirements which some clients still refuse to go along with.  So, I wholeheartedly agree with you, that if someone is not  willing to meet us where we are at, they are welcome to move on.  

It is not up to us to jump through hoops to prove our worthyness to anyone.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Emily! I love this.

 

I work in a small city (you'll be visiting soon) where screening is almost non-existent.  Like I have two heads for asking any questions.

 

Each time you visit and now this interview gives me hope that we raise the safety bar and normalize some version of screening.:) 

 

 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...