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I would like to give a HUGE thanks to Gabriella Laurence. I am new here and she has gone above and beyond to help me get going on this site. There's a real sense of community here and I'm glad to be a part of it!!! xoxo Brooklyn Scott

Well, to try to answer the original post... I have a feeling that most of the active posters have some sort of avatar. The other members who, for whatever reason, don't actively participate in threads/posts often (or at all), probably feel no need or desire. They're here to get info and post the odd question here and there...so, I kinda get why they wouldn't bother. My avatar is just something silly I found online while trying to figure out what I should use. Works for me. ;)

I absolutely understand the shyness and it can be a formidable challenge in the beginning. You probably won't have to ask for rates just because they aren't posted on an ad, all you have to do is initiate the contact. If a provider has chosen not to post her rates, she's prepared to share them long before you arrive at her door. I send an introduction with all the pertinent details along with my website information to every potential guest who sends an email that consists of actual words instead text abbreviations or the infamous one liner emails. What I seek in a guest is a gentleman who actually "gets" what I bring to the table which is a willingness to engage and communicate on every level with my guests. I don't expect men to read all the details of my ads because they usually focus on certain aspects while glossing over others. I want guests to ask questions so I can answer clearly; presenting what I offer that makes an experience with me unique and what I expect from a potential paramour. I appreciate the dialogue and the opportunity to find out more about a potential encounter so I can assess if we are a good fit. The most important thing to me is that we are on the same page with expectations and anticipations. For me, not posting my consideration is an invitation to engage. If I put out all the juicy bits, the only thing left is for a guest to chose a dat and time but I find guests often want an opportunity to get a feel for the woman behind the pictures. We all know this is an industry based on fantasy but the very best guests for me are the men who want a woman who is herself, comfortable in her skin and who enjoys her career. These men want the opportunity to get to know me a bit before they make their decision and being able to ask a question is an excellent way to break the ice... cat Additional Comments: Warped88, I'm so sorry, I'm not sure how that smilie got on there! I apologize, I don't think you're a wanker and I can't edit it... cat

Since you have SP only access, you might want to ask your question in there. You will get a lot more feedback from the ladies that way ;) and, at the same time, avoid guys contacting you to barter services.

I received a PM telling me that the thread I started won a contest!!! Unfortunately, I am not up to par with the CERB community so I am not to sure what it all means ... but I do know that I was tickled pink and extremely grateful So this thread is just to Thank all of you who nominated that thread, it means a lot to know that I am not alone in my thought process lol I have spent quite a bit of time here this past week or so reading the rules and trying to familiarize myself a bit more with all of the wonderful options there are here. Thank you to the CERB administrators and mods for a great board Much Love & Respect Lacy xoxo

I also find that not having readily-available rates is somewhat... off-putting. I don't care whether they're in the ad, or on the SP's profile, or her website... but I like to know what I'm getting into before I make contact. I must admit, I struggle to put my finger on *why* this is the case. I think this is because I just don't like showing interest, and then backing out, and not wanting to come across as a... tire-kicker? Time-waster? Cheap? I'm not quite sure what it is I'm uneasy about... but I know I'm definitely uneasy about it.

Some sps are very strict about that start and end time, as in if the appt is 4pm, for half hour, they must leave at 4:30 even if they arrive at 4:15. It depends on how accurate you are with your own timing, tho to pull that off. And that is for sps who have prebooked appts, and times, and they must stay on schedule without deviation. There really aren't too many sps who work on that firm schedule, but i think the majority of us will say arrival at the door time to end time has to be within that 30 minute range. Half hour guys are only taking showers if they already know they aren't using or needing 30 minute activity time. maybe a quick rinse, or cleanup the area, hands, mouthwash, bathroom break (not in that order) a couple of minutes, no sp minds that, but dilly dallying around first, then saying they are taking a shower, if we;ve spent 5 minutes on chit chat or canoodling and then he tells me now he wants a shower, I am not feeling quite so generous with my half hour of time. now everything is going to be cut shorter than i would like because instead of 2-3 minutes prior to starting, we are looking at a full 10 minutes into the half hour for 'everything'. Is that always possible? Not without rushing thru something, no. And if you don't this is a guy who will not be in and out within the time he paid for. Sure 5 minutes here or there, no one minds that, especially if that time is in the shower lol. But 4pm to 4:40, and he still isn't gone let alone done, or wants to argue about the amount of time left? No. And that is because i offer a 45 minutes option. This is a 45 minute guy. He wants to chat, take a shower, then get started and needs 30 minute activity time, tell him next time the best option for him is to take 45 minutes, which you do at XX $. His option for the half hour is to understand the half hour doesn't come with an unrushed session of going overtime. No half hour sessions are for guys who need or want more time than that. It is often for the guys who want to be in and out within 30 minutes because they need to be somewhere else, it isn't supposed to be for the guy who wants or needs 45 minutes but too cheap to pay the hour rate to get it.

Actually wasn't sure whether to post this Ottawa Police press release in the news section or joke section. Look who was arrested for exposing himself. RG http://ottawapolice.ca/en/mediaroom/newsreleases/14-04-29/8f13e582-b9aa-4d70-b7b9-d9d054d5e659.aspx

Well I thought about an avatar change and was close to changing it but this guy started yelling at me Saying if I changed my avatar he would bring his brothers, one with a baseball bat and the other who has delusions of being a soldier and the third who thinks he's an assassin Soooo, after weighing my choices, after being yelled at, and running the risk of being shot by an assassin, or ambushed by a soldier, or my knees being the baseball in a ball game, if I upgraded my avatar, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie and keep my avatar the same So that's why this client doesn't upgrade his avatar LOL RG :-)

I found the Den to be prone to long breaks when there weren't many customers in the club, or at least out on the floor. It's much appreciated from the dancer perspective as slow times usually mean less girls, so it's nice to not have to go up every hour or more when the club is mostly empty! Of course, it doesn't make the club look very inviting when someone walks in and there's no dancer on the stage, so I suppose you can never please everyone.

I don't ever mention donations in my ad but of course its always clear on my site. If gentleman take the time to view my website its only courteous to have my donation known. Why it could be $200 or $500 and that is a big window. As an advertiser I believe we should all have out rates clear on our websites. Some will differ but I like the straight forward approach.

Hi Karina, Technically the clock does start on arrival and if the client would like to shower he should do so immediately before any type of intimacy takes place. It depends on the client. If you're talking, embracing, kissing and starting to connect, it should be a part of the time together. Another idea is to jump in the shower with him to make it a part of the encounter. Thirty minute appointments can be tricky and it sounds like this client would like a social connection as well. Perhaps you can suggest an extension in time together for your next encounter as that may be more suited to what he's seeking?

your so interested...book her and post a review...that's what the board is for..

The pleasure of unwrapping a gift and the desire that leads to the revelation of its pleasure is my definition of foreplay...;) I'm intrigued as to know what is yours? The ecstasy emerging from the contact of the skin is my ultimate pleasure... my particular spots are the neck that gives me shivers all the time... Is it the view or the touch? the texture or the softness? the spank or the squeeze? tell me more... Eva xoxo

She has been on hiatus but I'll nominate for CERB Goddess of the Day my dear virtual wife, Gabriella Laurence. Not only is she a wonderful contributor to CERB, and a wonderful companion :-) she offers a helping hand to those new to CERB trying to learn the ropes. Here is a collage pic of my dear virtual wife BTW my dear virtual wife did not hen peck me to post this LOL In fact she doesn't even know I am posting it And for those who don't know, all references to Gabriella being my (virtual) wife are tongue in cheek, she really isn't my wife, this is just a bit of humorous bantering that we have going on But she is my Goddess Of The Day today :-) RG

It's silly, but sometimes when I'm reading about the business and the experiences of hobbiests, this song keeps popping into my head. Never thought I'd be quoting Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson. I'm starting to live up to my username now....crap. :p

* Sometimes you have to disconnect to reconnect * Taking time for yourself is most important to live a happy and healthy life. Allow yourself to spend some time with me and escape the hassle of everyday life. From the moment we meet your anxiety and stress will melt away. My environment is upscale, sparkling clean and oh so inviting. I am a sexual butterfly who craves to please. MA-GFE-DUO-COUPLES PM for details * Tue-11-8 Wed- 11-8 Thurs 10-5 Fri 1-9

your right name calling is never fair and I apologize, I merely asked a general question because i wanted to know, because i don't know about you folks but I don't feel like getting caught in a bad situation, it happened to me once and i'll be damned if it happens to me again! So hfxguy I apologize for calling you an ass, all I wanted was some help, and you were just stating your opinion and I took it out of context and got upset. Anywho since this thread got why out of hand and nobody seems to have any info/she has deleted her ads, i think were done here

My Naked Body ;-) hihi

take a look at my profile

I don't think its being an ass to simply contact a SP to ask her the pertinent information necessary for you to make an informed decision . Others opinions are quite selective in nature. If it were me I'd rather ask someone directly. No one else can tell you what is best for you . I am an SP that people either love or chose not to see. I'd hate to be rejected because one person that was asked said no about me. So much better to contact your SP of interest and ask honest questions and expect honest answers!

You just gotta luv it when a plan falls together :) Love it !!!!!!! Nothing fixes up the aftermath of a long f***ing winter better than a long awaited spring fling ;) Yay !

From my standpoint both parties even need to be more respectful when a 30 min appointment. For me clock always starts when I arrive. Your company is what is offered and paid for. If I wanted a quick 30 min encounter with discussion, intimacy, and sex...then I would likely be a little more 'rigid' (pardon) with the time. If I showed up late...that is on me. So on arrival I would clarify. "So sorry I'm late. I was hoping to spend 30 minutes together and it is now 4:10. Are you Ok until 4:40?" If no...you now have a 20 min date but should pay for 30 minutes and manage the time accordingly. If yes, it is dealt with respectfully, out of the way, and you can enjoy your 30 mins. Geez I love long dates! Cub

Oh yeh...do it! Was a recent thread on this http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=523285#post523285 And if I might give a shout out for Jessica Massage. You'll find her on CERB. Overall an amazing woman and her nuru experience....well good luck! Haha Cub

Hopefully this does not sound rude . I only grant 30 minute appointments to gents that I am very familiar with and we both understand that there is a very good reason for this. That's all good and fair, we all have circumstances and its every lady's prerogative to meet this or not. I am very generous with my time especially at home when time permits but a big light goes off in my head when a 30 minute appointment is requested. As a new SP I accepted this but quickly realized this was just a way for some to pay for 30 minutes and try to stay for more. Sorry unless you are a very established and regular friend I bet a lot of lades feel the same. If you are granted a 30 minute visit I suggest you are ready to leave at the end of the agreed time. Just my opinion of course .

Generally speaking, starts when you walk in. However, if it is the policy of the lady, that the guy must shower, now perhaps that is a little bit less clear. Guy needs shower, he problem, time is ticking. Guy needs no shower, but must have one anyway, grey area.

I resemble a large unmade bed. Think I'll stick with Einstein.

I have a ton of sexy outfits.. check my website. the most popular request I get is for the sexretary look, complete with stockings, garters, heels & glasses of course :p I was once asked to wear mechanic's overalls ... if anyone knows where to get a pair in my size send me a link :) the most unusual request I've had was for a wedding dress. I had to decline, don't own one, so don't ask :D

Well, while we wait for the ladies to chime in, there's this. To me, the clock starts when I walk in. The hugs, the kisses, the chit-chat are all part of the experience and the shower time is also counted. More importantly, were I enjoying the pleasure of your company, time is up when you say it is. Period. If it's at the 29 minute mark or 39, it is your time, your business, your decision. IMHO, sounds like you met a Class A twit.

This girl has always contributed informative, valuable insight to this board. She is truly unique among us,unquestionably cute, we've had our tiffs but she has always been forgiving, welcoming, friendly and kind when approached. I value her and because of this I'd like to nominate her as our Cerb goddess of the Day:) Plus she is an animal lover;) Sweet Emily J http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/member.php?u=68545

YES..!! I got a new career opportunity... I start on May 5th.. Thank-you lucky stars and Angels..!! D.

All you have to do is pm the lady for her rates and details. Some just prefer to discuss their business in private nothing.wrong with that

The reasons will probably be as varied as the providers. One reason might be because the sp feels it more discrete to discuss them one on one. I post my rates on my site but seldom do I in my ads. I want men to view my site before they book with me. After all, the point of setting up a site is to inform potential clients of my rates. services, how best to contact me and a little insight into my personality. So prior to contacting me they'll be informed. It does seem lately though an effort for a lot of men to take a minute to read , lol. In the end every sp advertises in her own special way, frustrating or not, she/he has chosen to do it for their reasons, which are important to them, so they should be respected. I have one service that I'll only give the rate via phone. I'm picky about who I offer this service to and want to speak to the potential client first. I prefer this for all my services, as talking to someone can give you much more insight than an email or text, imo. So inconvenient or not this is the way I want it:)

I absolutely wish there were MORE female clients interested in visiting with female SP's one on one!!!

A few years ago, a touring lady from Toronto was here in Ottawa ( I had seen her once before), we were to see each other the next am. When I texted her for location, she asked if she call me, I said "yes of course". She called, was crying on the phone, she had been robbed by 3 guys the night prior to our appointment. The guy came to her door, and before she could get the door closed the other two barged in, they cleaned her out cash wise, it was a late appointment around 11pm. Needless to say she reported the robbery to police,her room was already paid for, so I met her outside her Hotel (a four star hotel commonly used by providers), she was sitting on her suitcase, teared up. I took her to bus station, bought her return ticket,(she bussed and came one way, and to see the city and didn't know how long she would stay) and I gave her my donation of the intended agreement between us, so she could eat on the way home and have some money. This is NOT being White knight, as far as I'm concerned, this was simply doing the right thing, when someone is in tears,upset, and lost everything in the past 2 days, I think helping that person out was the appropriate thing to do. We stayed in touch over the following year, she never came back to Ottawa, because of that situation, and last email from her was she was retiring and going back to school.

http://newbrunswick.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/girl-next-doordynamic-encounter-24/1726374 She defiantly does not match the pictures posted in her add.

I've sometimes thought about changing my picture around, but I know for me I tend to associate a member with their avatar even more than their name, and I figured if other people were like me the consistency would help. For instance, when I saw Jayne's Hat from Firefly I knew MightyPen was posting...I'm not sure who this new MightyPen fellow is! ;)

Hello Gentlemen, My name is Sasha, I'm a young fit and playful MA who loves to massage and can do it for hours. My sensual erotic massage will relieve your tension & leave you more than satisfied. I'm very fun, open minded and comfortable to be around so let's make this experience as enjoyable and naughty as your fantasies.. I'm petite 5'4, athletic 120 lbs, perky b34 bust, nice round booty, brunette, golden tan, seductive lips, exotic hazel bedroom eyes, 100% natural beauty.. Services: Non-rushed service Full erotic body massage Reverse massage Slippery body slides reverse body slides Shower for 2 Hot tub fun Relaxing music Fresh towels & linens Duos Some fetishes ATM available on site Schedule: Wednesday @ Paradise: 3:30pm-11pm Friday @ Angels: 3:30pm-11pm Saturday @ Angels: 10am-11pm Sunday @ Angels: 10am-9pm http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?ltr=S&t=146238 Join me for some hot steamy fun an experience to never forget, come have the very best!! call: (Angels): 613-274-7073 or (Paradise): 613-820-8887 Incall location only! -Sasha xxx

I work Paradise Spa, located in the west end The most clean, classy and discreet Spa in Ottawa This week's Scheduled Wednesday Today 11:00am - 7:00pm Thursday 6:00pm - 11:00pm Friday 11:00am - 4:00pm To book your time with me 613-820-8887 xoxoxox

WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR ;) YOUR EVERY NEED, WANT AND DESIRE WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF ! I strive to tease, please and give you the ultimate satisfaction guaranteed. I love mutual encounters of eroticism and true pleasure as well as enticing conversations & bonding relationships. Juiciest Schedule For This Week (Wed. Apr. 30th-Fri. May. 2nd) is posted below, check it out and lets match our schedules up. Pre-Book your amazing session NOW! My Appearance: 23 years, long haired brunette babe, dazzling sexy hazel eyes, lightly tanned, silky smooth skin, I stand at 5'3, 125lbs with curves in all of the right places, fit, toned and tight figure, 36C perfect tittys!, round & firm juicy ass, gorgeous face features and i am Italian & French. My Personality: Very outgoing, playful, sensual, erotic, open minded, seductive, naughty, bubbly, sweet, kinky, classy, talkative, sweet, caring, intelligent, respectful and discreet young lady. WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT IN A NAUGHTY SESSION WITH ME: -erotic, sensual & seductive nude massage -great conversation & atmosphere -an ending that is sure to leave you more than happy! -reverse massage -mutual touching -duo massage (2 girls, 4 hands) -soapy showers for 2 -topless massage -bum massage -multiple experiences -pearl necklace release -cob -tantric massage experience -fetish friendly -dirty talk -foot fetish/worship -strip tease/lap dance (Regular Clientele) -outfits, heels, stockings, exotic wear/lingerie, or any outfits seen in my pictures & much much more !!! (Please inquire about more of my services) ELITE V.I.P. PACKAGE: (Regular Clientele) For the discerning, classy and upscale gentleman at my discretion. My package includes several different services combined into one package for one price! All services are YMMV! (Please inquire-regarding my VIP services & pricing) Fees: (Door Fees Only): 30mins: $50 45mins: $60 60mins: $80 PLUS tipping in the room (please inquire) Location: (Wednesday-Friday): Merivale & Hunt Club. (Incalls Only). Angels Touch Spa. Clean, discreet, upscale & professional. ATM on-site, Free parking, fresh towels, nice big showers in each room & hygienic products. Schedule For This Week: (Wed. Apr. 30th-Fri. May. 2nd): Wed: 10am-7pm (Today) Thurs: 10am-7pm Fri: 9am-4pm EMAIL. PM. CALL. TEXT: For more info or to book your naughty session ! 613-600-3943 (no blocked calls pls) (text preferred) Email: [email protected] Personal Website: http://taylordevine.massagefiles.com/ Angels Touch: 613-274-7073 (Request Taylor) RECOMMENDATIONS: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthr...ltr=T&t=155684 AD WITH COMMENTS:http://www.cerb.ca/classifieds/ottaw...ue-beauty.html SEXY PICTURES: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/album.p...ictureid=57872 CRAVE TAYLOR BOYS! XOXO MUAHS!

Gift cards are always a good choice. Some stores you could get a gift card for are Victoria's Secret, Lulu lemon, La Vie En Rose, La Senza, Sephora just to name a few. But the lady's website might have ideas for a gift Good Luck RG

Gentleman I travel to your friendly area on a regular basics. I would be happy to bring my beautiful duo partner Penelope Davis with me. However for her to make the trip she would require sincere pre bookings and deposit. So I guess its just a question of how much you want a very hot and interactive team to rock your world.

I don't want to sound nerdy, but I always believe that white knights are inferior to the Grey Knights. I wonder if anyone here gets it.

Happy Happy Bday Beautiful Lady....... XO

I enjoy listening to music being played while in the company of a lovely lady. I think it's great where you both ask each other choices of music, OR what it is really neat she has same taste and that music is playing from your own playlist that you listen too as well. Music is not going to take away OR be distracting from the precious time with lady, isn't great when you spend a couple of hours with a companion, you are making love,cuddling, showering together, walking around naked, eating some fruit,chatting and there is some music playing? I find that music is soothing and relaxing never a distraction, I mean how could anyone be distracted while in the company of a beautiful lady. Yes please play music, and I personally love all genres. :) "If music be the food of love, play on " William Shakespeare

for me the time should start when the client says hello to the provider. The provider is offering time. When you go to a lawyer or accountant, the clock starts as soon as you sit down

Happy Birthday Courtney.... Hope your day is wonderful....

There's alot of garbage being layered onto certain sex workers in the industry. There's a dichotomy between the image of the put together worker, self-assured, autonomous, and in control...no mental health or self-esteem issues...acting as her own woman, strong as hell. And, then there's the worker with no business skills, not knowing her worth, with low self-esteem, willing to do God knows what with her body....drugged out, controlled by a pimp, and needing to be managed for her own good. Or, left to her own devices while the rest of "us" supposedly figure out what is 'truly' of benefit to our industry overall. And, then, there's statements being made about who has seen more of the 'exploited', 'messed-up', unfortunate 'ignorant' types', and how that allows one to make potentially more insightful judgement calls about the need to minimum pricing and regulatory measures....and the right to construct prostitute typologies I might add. The dichotomy (between the healthy, competent and knowing sex worker, and the screwed up, pimped druggie with no economic sense) and the prostitute typologizing are what I want to bite into here. And, I'll use personal narrative to illustrate some of these aspects, but keeping in mind the broader connections between our lives...that all of the pieces do not have to match up perfectly to provide insight....that personal stories can be applied in such a manner as to not blanket or overgeneralize a discussion, or over-personalize a debate to the point where discussion becomes impossible. These are the things I have in mind as I share. I started in this industry at 17 years old. The choices, as I experienced them, were tough and few and I was highly motivated to get out of poverty and an abusive living environment, which was obviously distressing. Within a year I found a decent agency manager to work for. I had very little business knowledge to start with: what to charge?, what was a fair cut to give to a manager?, what services to provide?, what services was I comfortable with providing?....how might my financial needs and motivations, my life immediate circumstances, trump some of these considerations over others? ...and, believe me, sometimes I have made choices that have left me feeling like shit....sometimes the choices didn't feel like fair choices....sometimes, I was layering on self-judgement that didn't need to be there about the choices...hmmm, I wonder where all of that judgement comes from? My earlier years in the industry allowed me to observe my manager and all of the tasks she carried out to run a business, many of which I was too busy to want to do myself, some of which I lacked the social and economic capital and personal organization to do, and others aspects I just needed time to think on if ever I wanted to become an independent (screening clients etc.). I experienced the work as exhausting, frustrating and stigmatizing at times, but also as stimulating and fun (always meeting new people, sharing stories, learning about the psychology of sex), and flexible in terms of how portable the work is, and being able to make larger amounts of money in shorter periods of time. In a relatively small Northern Ontario community, I gave a third of every hourly fee I made to my manager. At the time, the going rate for a bustling and established escort agency was $150 an hour. After I paid my agency fee, and my taxi fare (it was all outcall based), and based on the example of a one hour date, my take away without any other expenses considered (condoms, clothing, grooming etc.) was about $80. This is considerably less than I command now as someone who works independently, in another region, and a decade later. But, I was more than ok with those terms...accepted them and they worked just fine for me, and were highly preferable relative to the other work that was available to me at the time. Thinking back to that situation, if I could have finagled low overhead and the right incall setup, I could have charged $80 an hour and made out just as well or better (think no travel time to appointments), but goodness knows then I would have been labeled by others in the industry as a 'low end' ignoramus. Interesting. Long story short, sex work arose as a highly constrained AND also an ideal and flexible economic option for me. It took time, opportunities to connect with other workers, and reading related literature (not easy to find at the time) for me to begin to make sense of things....to carve out various options for myself, to politicize what it means to be a sex worker, and to challenge my own internalized assumptions about 'whores', while also challenging dominant social ideas about sex workers, both demonizing and infantilizing. The learning curve has been steep and complex. And, my life options, my formal education, my business savvy, my self-awareness, and my sexual development have evolved. Having made a foray back into the industry several months ago (after a long pause away, but still engaging in related activism all the while), I find myself in a different phase as a sexual labourer. I work for myself, set my own rates, and screen my own clients, and, over time, I've had more opportunities to become a part of the sex working community, to fight for our rights, and to benefit from the rich relationships it holds I also take time to remember the whole journey, the teenager that was me, and I have had moments where I've been struck by her ingenuity. Whatever I lacked in business or economic smarts, I made up for in volumes with the savvy that can only come with street smarts...off the cuff, quick thinking, and tremendous resourcefulness. Few people would take the time to fascinate over the narrative of socially and economically marginalized woman if she is working for pennies at the local Tim Horton's....with a Manager on her all the time like a fire breathing dragon...thankless customers, running her ass off, barely covering the rent, leaving little or no time for her to pursue, or dream about other life options. And, few would make so many qualifying remarks if she struggled in her sense of self, maybe even struggling with depression, or an intimate partner who abuses her physically, financially. Why? Because we gloss over that kind of marginalization: cuz she's working for the man, towing the line of normalcy....her purported "dysfunction" is a familiar, benign kind. [And, yes, I am gesturing at the role of internalized whore stigma in this thread masquerading as disinterested concern and professional rhetoric over industry standards.] So, why is it acceptable to make all kinds of qualifying remarks about sex workers who may charge less than others?....who may be following a business model that makes sense for them?...who may be working for a manager who takes a cut, maybe even an unfair cut of their earnings?...who may struggle in his or her sense of self. What about the role of decrim?...about upholding the legal rights of sex workers to switch managers or leave the industry without fear of retribution (providing legal recourse and a climate of social support for him/her to do so)....just one of a number of examples where we can make changes without fixating on the pathology of individual choice, or lack thereof. What about we make space for the understanding that there will always be sex workers who will never fit into the mould of the happy, healthy hooker, and to count these members of our community in as equally insightful and valuable. It's not too hard, considering that some of the biggest leaders in the sex workers rights movement are people who have been street involved, who are or who have been drug users, and, yes, trauma survivors. A number of these people, all women, are some of my closest friends and confidants. We do not all identity with the same struggles, with the same privileges and oppressions, or industry experiences, but we see each other as equals and colleagues nonetheless. It's also been mentioned that there are workers who really aren't wanting to do the work but have few other options. Let's fight for those increased options....while also recognizing that there are plenty of folks in the mainstream workforce who hate their shitty jobs, don't know how else they will pay their bills, and can't seem to get their foot in the door what with all of the nepotism out there. Let's advocate for their increased options too eh? When we dichotomize and qualify sex worker identity in the manner I've seen happen in this thread, there is tremendous erasure that occurs; erasure of the parts of ourselves, our private moments which are deemed unsavory, shameful, desperate; erasure of the ongoing vulnerabilities we experience in the industry(, because regardless of what we charge or where we work, we all experience a level of vulnerability); and erasure of the contributions of fellow sex workers who have and continue to fight for our rights. I love being a sex worker, and I see the work as skilled and honorable work (as my vocation), yet, sometimes, I still am left feeling like shit...sometimes I feel confused. I carry all of my life history with me, beautiful and ugly. But, hey, don't we all? Isn't this ok? What happens when, for some of us, it is not ok? ...what then is the role of totalizing statements about certain people's lives, their work?....does it not function as a mechanism for distancing?...for asserting a sense of personal entitlement and relative legitimacy? what happens when we resemble a stereotype?....what happens when we face the pain of resembling a stereotype? ...what happens to us when the person who resembles the stereotypes is held in our minds eye as a respected colleague?. Hmmm, what then?

Guys think open minded and kinky woman are sexy, so why wouldn't that apply to men too? And no one could be with Lola and not find her totally hot!