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Well, that sucks. I hope whoever was outed is doing OK. One thing I have to say - and I know this is going to sound perverse - is that I actually find this hugely encouraging. They do this because they're frustrated. They *know* where this debate is going. They know that society is, in general, moving in a less judgmental direction and adopting more of a 'live and let live' attitude. They know, deep down, that no matter how sincere and strongly held your own personal morals and values may be, the time is past when you could force the rest of society to abide by them too (provided there's no harm to society). They know that people are largely coming to the conclusion that laws that make life far worse for some members of society while having no discernible positive effects for anyone will not, in the end, survive. And they know that they have no reasonable argument to back up their beliefs; all they have is fear and misdirection and smokescreens. I think a lot of the folks who tasted defeat twice in the debate over homosexuality (once when it became socially acceptable, and again once gay marriage became a reality) have moved on to this as the next battle. But they're going to lose again, and for the same reasons. Just as letting two guys or two women have their commitment to each other recognized by the state didn't unleash a tide of polygamy or incest or bestiality or floods or plagues of locusts, so will the decriminalization of sex work not make the slightest difference to day-to-day life for most people, while greatly improving it for some. And so what do they do, in their frustration and their rage and their impotence? They do the only thing they can: they lash out, at whichever target is available. They attempt to silence their opponents, because they hate and fear the arguments against them and know that they cannot ever win any kind of reasonable debate that's based on evidence and logic. To some extent, I can sympathize; it must be a terrible thing to know that you're wrong, and that the world knows it, and that you're too heavily invested in this to back down gracefully, and that in the end you'll lose anyway - again. That must hurt like hell, every day. It doesn't make their lashing out forgivable, or acceptable, but... I can kinda see where they're coming from.

Two things I want to say on this. The first is: congratulations, and thanks. To everyone. This thread had only a few posts last time I looked at it, and I must admit I had thought it would inevitably turn into a shitstorm. But.. it hasn't: we have instead had (mostly) an interesting and useful and civilized discussion on a subject that really doesn't seem to come up very often. That's a rare and precious thing; you have only to look at comment threads on news articles or even some of the other boards to know that. And if that lot sounds patronizing... honestly, it's not meant that way. I've tried to avoid sounding condescending, but I'm not sure that I've succeeded. The second is a more general and non-specific thought on GFE, and what it is, and - more importantly - what it isn't. If we're honest, we clients don't want to have an experience that's exactly like we'd get from a girlfriend. We just want the good bits. The highlights. We only want to give as much as we feel inclined to give, rather than giving as much as is necessary. And the ladies know this. That's why, when you go to see a SP, she won't tell you that your shirt doesn't suit you. She won't spend the first hour venting about what a bad day she's had, or fretting because her puppy's off his food. She won't decide that no, she just wants to cuddle this evening (unless you want that too) and she sure as hell won't have a headache. She'll give you the impression that she enjoys your company just as much as you enjoy hers. You get all the positives of a girlfriend, and none of the negative stuff or the stuff that might require effort on your part. Is this selfish? Of course! And that, of course, is one of the reasons that there's an envelope on the table. And that comes back to this thread. We guys know that menstruation happens, just as bad days and sick pets and headaches and all the other things that might make things less than stellar also happen... but, if we're honest, we don't want to have to deal with that - and part of what we're paying for is not having to deal with that stuff. It doesn't make the slightest difference to our enjoyment whether it's that time of the month or not, or whether today's just a bad day or not, or whether you're faking or not... provided we don't find out. But if we find out, that illusion of the perfect girlfriend is shattered. We're quite happy to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, provided we can plausibly ignore the man - and, preferably, the curtain too. This also comes back to something else mentioned on the board recently; one of the ladies mentioned that she'd had to cut off a client or two for trying to cross the boundaries and get too close. I think the idealized, no-negatives "girlfriend" that we guys meet goes some way towards explaining why this happens; it's easy to forget that the "girlfriend" that you experienced and had a wonderful time with has a real, three-dimensional person underneath, and that you don't get to meet that real person at all just by putting an envelope on the table, and that the fact that you're slightly in love with the idealized GFE doesn't mean you'll feel the same about the real person, or that she'll feel the same about you. Where the hell am I going with this post? Honestly, I'm not quite sure... I guess that really makes it what RG would call a rambling. I think what I'm really working towards is a thought that much of this thread is the result of a disconnect between the day-to-day reality of being a woman on the one hand, and the guys' expectations of a paid-for girlfriend experience on the other. Most of the time, it all works out. But sometimes it doesn't. And then you get... this. And slightly incoherent late-night verbal diarrhea from the likes of me.

I was recently contacted by a prospective client I have been in communication with for some time. He has expressed interest in seeing me during my next Ottawa trip. After noting the undesirable idea of potentially being with an SP who engages in such unsavoury practices as mentioned on this thread (using sponges, working during one's "cycle"), and after making specific note of this thread, he said, that, as a result, he was planning on instituting a new "screening question". He wanted to know as part of screening me if I work through "my cycle". This is an excerpt...the crux of what I wish to say in my reply as I think it has great bearing beyond the singular matter of communication between two people, as this thread and its carry over to other boards has stirred anxiety and dread in many of us who do the work: Dear potential client, I will look forward to your call should you wish to schedule a play date with me... As for the subject of the CERB thread and your new screening question, I will be direct as that is the way I am. I do not work when I'm on my period and certainly would not book my Ottawa trip when I'm expecting mine. But, if you noticed my enthusiasm on the thread, it was to nominate Emily J's post, which really did some justice to the fact that many of us experience spotting at various times in our cycles.....sometimes a bit during ovulation....sometimes randomly as a result of penetration....her post did justice to the reality that women are not robots with a series of inputs and outputs which we can calibrate to the utmost convenience. Many of us would be off more than half of the month if we did not work whenever there was either menstruation or some break through spotting. And, I will be honest, your new 'screening question' will be of little use to you. You can be sure that, when asked such a question, a great many SP will feel obligated into giving you some sort of answer to the effect of "no", rather than saying the question is invasive. In turn, the answers will likely not reflect our complex realities, such as in cases where we have periods pop up unexpectedly and still need to work, or when we are not technically menstruating but may have some breakthrough bleeding. I hope I'm getting through here. It took guts for the SPs who participated on the CERB thread to share about their bodies....to push the conversation deeper for the benefit of all. I hope that you have found my response on this matter to be sufficient to your screening process. Once you call, should you choose to call, I will be better able to finish mine. Cheers, Anna If we want to keep CERB a place that resists stigmatizing SPs, I suggest that our personal contributions to sensitive yet important topics like this be valued and noted for what they are; an opportunity for men...for our clients to get a better sense of how we actually experience our bodies. I do appreciate the candour shared here by service providers and plenty of willingness on the part of hobbyists who have contributed to the thread to evolve their thinking and assumptions and to encourage others to do so too. In the Spirit of continuing dialogue in a thoughtful, respectful direction.

I'm writing this to let you all know that I have decided to make a gracious exit from the world of hobbying I have enjoyed for over fifteen years. I have met an incredible civilian woman and want to see where things go... it looks very promising! Another factor in my decision has also been the impending arrival of new laws governing the industry as a whole. When taken together, I feel this is the right time to step aside. That said, I will be keeping my account open and will continue to check in from time to time. The only difference is I will no longer be an active member in terms of seeing ladies and writing recommendations. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the privilege of having been allowed to be a member of this fine caring, compassionate and upstanding community. I am leaving with a treasure trove of experiences and memories which I will always cherish. My decision leaves me with mixed emotions still, as Cerb is more than just a community... For me, it's more of an 'extended family' of sorts and I will miss the interaction and banter I have had with all of you, many of whom I consider friends. The future is uncertain by its very nature, and I may decide to return sooner rather than later. But for right now, I feel this is the right decision for me. Again, from the bottom of my heart - thank you, everyone! P.S. I will also be posting this message on another board which I am a member of.

Phaedrus is right. We all know the moment "it" happens, we feel it in our gut. That moment where there is not a fact someone has presented still standing under scrutiny and the next words out of their mouth is a personalized attack. It's in that moment we know we have reached deep down within them and challenged the very core of their beliefs. They struggle to hold onto those beliefs because they are identified with them, it makes them right and others wrong which is integral to their sense of self. They believe it's their belief that makes them who they are; challenging their beliefs with truth is within them akin to a part of them dying. When I'm engaged with someone I always assess them using these 3 points as guidelines. It helps me to formulate which method of engagement to utilize. Is what their are saying... a thought? These are fluid and open to dialogue. an opinion? These are more firmly held but can be challenged and changed with new ideas. A belief? Wars are started and people die for their beliefs. In any discussion, once someone makes it personal it is the most trustworthy sign of defeat. For those who are the casualties of outing, my heart feels for you and I am sorry. Thank you for taking the hit. Just remember we simply have to stay the course and don't engage; the true believers are not the ones we need to sway. It's those with thoughts and opinions who will turn the tide for us and I genuinely believe that change will come... cat

After months of feeding 2 squirrels daily with some yummy goodies, one of them finally took a leap of faith and ate from the palm of my hands today :) Hopefully, the other one comes around soon too!

I hope the antis keep up with this. It shows their true colours. Plus, this is nothing new. They've been at this since the 70's. I've been called a traitor to the female sex, a collaborator, in collusion with the patriarchy, a racist, supporting colonialism, a liar, a member of the pimp lobby and just a plain old whore. The best course of action is DO NOT ENGAGE. Ignore and block.

If you ever encounter any sort of problems with anyone while working, anything ranging from sexual assault to theft, intimidation, abuse, harassment, threats, stalking or anything else, and want to talk directly to a female officer who will listen and help (if you want it), here is the name of an Ottawa officer who has been helpful to sex workers in the past: Sergeant Patricia Ferguson Sexual Assault Section Tel. 613-236-1222, ext. 5463 Or, to anonymously report to the police any kind of bad behaviour you've experienced: Bad Date Line Call 1-800-303-5407 - anonymously. http://www.ottawapolice.ca/en/ServingOttawa/SectionsAndUnits/saca/baddateline.aspx From Ottawa Police Services: Working in the sex trade can make you a vulnerable target, and predators count on the fact that you may not report crimes against you. We need your help to identify and track serial and predatory offenders. The anonymous reporting system is for individuals victimized while engaging in the sex trade. By calling the toll free number (1-800-303-5407), you will be prompted to leave a message regarding the details of your assault along with as much of an offender description as possible. Information gathered could be the missing link needed in identifying a serial predator. The anonymous and free Bad Date Line gives you an opportunity to report sexual and physical assault without revealing your identity. For more information about the Ottawa Bad Date Line, download their pamphlet (PDF, 206k). The Ottawa Police Service understands the desire of victims to remain anonymous and supports the Bad Date Line in an effort to identify potential serial offenders preying upon victims who they believe will not report the attack to police. The Bad Date Line does not subscribe to caller ID and no attempts will be made to identify callers. It is preferred that victims contact police directly to report an assault so that a proper investigation can be conducted and ensure a predator is removed from the street. Ottawa Police treat all victims fairly and equitably. If you wish to speak with an officer regarding an assault or receive more information regarding the investigation process, you may contact the Sexual Assault Unit directly at 613-236-1222, ext. 5944.

Fuck Man !!!! I had to walk around with a beer and regroup there I was laughing so frickin hard !!! Hahahaha Problem there tho NJ ......... Lulu's make my ass look fat.......

Mini-Magnum, I was going to recommend you wear a long untucked shirt but my best advice to you would be "Postpone the meeting till I get some action baby" If your head is in your pants during the meeting and too much schmoozing is going on, those stunning business shark babes might screw you over in a way that doesn't feel too good... Your current 4 months will end up feeling like nothing at all ;) Haha! Postpone! Postpone!

Got my medal and certificate back from the framing shop. It looks even better than I expected. Professionally framed looks so much better than do it yourself with a dime store frame My retirement gift to myself RG

This Week Thursday Aug 28th - Noon-11 PM ( Angels ) Friday Aug 29th - Noon 11 PM ( Angels ) You haven't any idea how really hot I really am if you haven't ever seen me...I look fascinating in my clothes, lingerie and even better after staying bare... I'm a little bit slutty in showing off my super cool body and demonstrating great adult style entertainment is how I will fulfil your pursuit of pleasure! I love to show off my heavenly body..and maybe you are in the mood to admire me.. But why stop at just that when you can meet me in person, up close and personal and see every detail in real life..I can't promise you anything. Its what I can show you that matters. I could tell you all about it, but showing you would be the best! 613-274-7073 to book 613-274-7073 to book *PLEASE NOTE* HAIR COLOURS / STYLES/ LENGTHS MAY VARY MY CURRENT HAIR COLOUR IS DARK BLONDE AND IS CUT ABOVE MY SHOULDERS

My favourites are the ads read more like a sensual story, a tale of what could be.

Good luck with the new relationship! And if that doesn't work out... don't worry about the silly new laws. This industry isn't going anywhere :)

Very catchy original unique ad titles...they draw the reader to the ad They set the tone for the rest of the ad and tell the reader who is the lady writing Some are so unique the title is almost synonymous with the lady's name...you can just see the ad title and know without looking any further who wrote it A lady's writings should reflect who she is And when the lady includes a photo from her album in her ad post that just adds (pardon the pun) to the ad A rambling RG

This lifestyle has a certain degree of risk. But as has been said before, everyone's sexual health is their own business. When you are intimate with someone in a poly amorous lifestyle, which this is, it is accepted that a risk exists. If a client chooses to proceed with an encounter with a lady, any lady, he is accepting a certain degree of risk. Likewise a lady, if she agrees to see a client, accepts a certain degree of risk too The argument of health risk here is a red herring. Each and every time a SP/Client engage in an encounter, irrespective of what menu items are performed, has a potential risk. Condoms and dental dams are risk reduction, not risk elimination. If a client truly, and truly believes in the risk of performing daty, simple solution, don't. Likewise, in the same vein, then show the same courtesy to a lady, and never ask for a bbbj. But really, if risk of STD/STI is a real concern, notwithstanding using condoms/dental dams, then perhaps one should re-think his/her participation in this lifestyle. Safer options are out there. Like an exclusive monogamous relationship with one partner. A partner who is willing to share her cycle with you. Or, and not being glib, masturbation This lifestyle is about risk/rewards. The risks, well for both lady and gentleman, STD/STI, being ripped off, assaults...well the bad side of this lifestyle has been discussed elsewhere on CERB. The rewards. For the ladies, a source of income, a livelihood for them. For the gentlemen, an escape, pleasure, companionship. So if you want to stay absolutely risk free, this isn't the lifestyle for it But if you want to reduce your risks, choose not to perform certain acts, or use dental dams But a lady, while it would be nice if she did let a client know, is under no obligation to let a client know her sexual health...because her sexual health, as is everyone's, ladies and gentlemen alike, is private and her own responsibility A rambling RG

I think that all of us are and can be sensitive to the other person, however I still have to say that offering sexual services while using a sponge and NOT telling your partner/lover/friend is not allowing them the choice. That to me personally is voiding informed consent. I don't think anyone would be as passive about that if the gender roles were reversed. We are women and we get our periods monthly. We know this. We should prepare for this. That would also mean to me personally, budgeting my income cash flow with my out going expense. I understand that some feel they can not do this. Some are not aware of what options they have in financial planning and we never know the bills of someone else so who are we to say. I understand that not everyone has the same business sense as me and I completely understand that while I have the advantage of working or not working at this point in my life, others do not. I am 38 and can fully retire. From every line of work. I am a rare breed in this regard. I accept this and do not preach. However, I worked extremely hard to get where I am. I am not in some luxury status now. I worked extremely hard, sacrificed a lot and now can enjoy the benefit of it. Being that escorting is generally a cash business, I can see how managing that money can be difficult but not impossible. There are many financial planning tricks that would work so much better for a companion. Things that would grant her the ability to take time off during regular menstruation but even more importantly, it would give her more freedom and control over her business. Something that I think all women should look into and not just because of this sponge/period issue. This industry does not, under any circumstances, have to be feast or famine. It can be very much different and I strongly encourage all ladies to look into proper financial planning to ensure that you never have to feel that feast or famine feeling. Having said all that, I really can't help but think of the men who have, for a variety of different reasons, issue with sex while a woman is on her menses. This would go for any woman in his life, including his wife. We are not talking about when "accidents" happen. I also fully agree that tact and respect when these accidents happen however is a must. However some of the comments from the ladies regarding her right to work trumping a mans right to informed consent to sexual services is a little shocking to say the least. I know I am the new comer here, but I can not support the idea of "he didn't notice, so I am all good". That does not work for me regardless of the gender role of the person or the issue that person might be having. Informed consent should be in my opinion the TOP priority when rolling in the sheets with anyone. Client or civilian lover.

Again, I am commenting a little off topic but since this point is being discussed... Ryan, I think it is important not to generalize here; not all SPs offer (unprotected) Daty because of the "market demand". Some of us actually enjoy it and enjoy it a LOT. The same can be said about other sexual activities...

I don't see it as secrecy, simply what the buyers market here has dictated. Canadian clients expect bb daty and many take convincing to actually use a dental dam. Here in Ottawa I have only had one client request the use of a dam before we've met in the last decade. I can't speak for other providers but that indicates to me that it just isn't that genuine a concern for most hobbyists. Unless of course it goes wrong as this thread has indicated. I'm going to clarify something that seems to have escaped some. How often does a provider insist a client go down on her? Think about it. Daty is performed for the client, not the provider during a first, second or even a third apptointment. I have yet to meet a provider that says "My guys have to go down on me." Most of the providers in my circle would prefer not to have guys perform daty until there is some connection and trust. In my experience, a woman has to be able to relax in order to enjoy it which seldom happens at the onset of this dynamic and I also believe it should only happen at her request. I consider daty a consumer driven service when it's listed on a menu and often an appointment will hinge on whether or not it's provided; many men decline when they are told it's safe service only. If there was genuine risk management going on, clients would realize the chance of menses and the dam would be requested regardless of whether or not a provider admits to being on her cycle or not. To me this is a case of having your cake and eating it too. From a practical standpoint I simply don't see it going both ways. If you want unprotected daty, then you assume the worst possible risk is present and accept it or you use protection. Until there are legislated health and safety practices in place (which most of the industry seems resistant to according to the bbbj thread), the fact remains that a man never knows what is happening in his providers reproductive organs and the onus is on him if he wants to perform orally. If daty is that important to him, he should insist that precautions are used or accept the consequences of his decision if the results are less than he desired. Anything else is simply abdicating responsibility... cat

After reading this thread for the last few days, I think most if not all the folks here (myself included) feel sorry for the SP in question. I have a feeling that the OP probably realizes that he could have been over reacting with what he said he did by the fact that he went back and edited out that particular para. When one encounters something unexpected like blood during a sex act, everyone could react differently including being shocked. I mentioned ( probably too hastily) in my earlier post (#7) that I was shocked too. But in actual fact, my cool head ;) prevailed in that I did not react hastily - I simply showed them ( the SPs) the stains. My experiences didn't involve sponge, by the way. The two ladies were actually more shocked and were very embarrassed. I comforted them, washed up and came back to continue the sessions (without certain activities obviously). I even posted recos to thank them for the overall very enjoyable sessions - without mentioning the incidents. My original donations stayed with them and I gave them a good tip as well. Reading the whole thread, I would say I've learned many new things. If I could summarise, these will be - many ladies have the need to work through their periods - a sponge could be used to prevent the flow and allow them to continue working - the consensus is that clients will like to be informed ahead of time - the time of month could sometimes arrive unexpectedly.. - and when it does, it should be handled with compassion since this is more like an accident and it is a natural biological process One last thing, to those who do not think we pay ladies to hang out, I am one of those who actually did and will continue to. I enjoy social times like going out for lunch, dinner, a stroll in the park, a bike ride and even skating and skiing.

I would like to express my sympathies as well for the provider that went through as a first encounter. I hope this has not discouraged her as it's a rare this happens. It's all uphill from here if it's any consolation. I'm not going to comment further on what should be disclosed to the client as it's been well discussed. There's a crucial part to this situation that has bothered me that I am going to mention to protect ourselves financially. Once a client has decided to stay he no longer has access to the donation. It sounds like she was given a cancellation fee that is only acceptable if he left immediately. That was not the case. It's a good idea to tuck the donation away in a safe place to protect ourselves from this kind of situation. It can be done discreetly after introductions. Unfortunately, it takes situations like this to learn from them and we should always be prepared. Especially when meeting someone for the first time.

I'm in the same boat as piano, don't know what I would do but hope that I would react in the same manner that many if the ladies have treated me during our time together. I'm a middle age man with a little guy that most can DT without gagging and not one lady has ever laugh, stare or snicker when they see me naked (can't say that my high-school buddies treated me with the same level of respect during shower time after gym class). On top of that, I've had some crazy shit happen such as loosing the erection between positions, having to run and urinate (yes, I gave junior a shower before returning), getting too excited and shooting prematurely and even a condom break. None of the ladies have ever lost it or overreacted, in fact they just went with it. For me, it was embarrassing when these things happened but got over it quickly because of the ladies' reaction. As for the money, I will not take the money back without consent. As soon as I decide to stay, I've committed to taking up the agreed amount of time and that is what I need to pay for. Therefore the money belongs to the lady at that point and taking any of it back without consent is theft in my mind. PS I added the words 'without consent' because shit happens and she may decided to offer money back. I still wouldn't take the money back unless it was a long multi hour session but cut short dramatically by her.

To be honest I don't like these old and worn out questions . All of this is chemistry and a relationship built over time. In NS I have many reccos that I am the best at this or that, anyone that says anyone is the best at anything is simply meetings another's request, either on Cerb or in every day life.... This can be a relationship built over time or a very skilled SP that has learned her guests needs. Forgive me but the best of this or that is quite prosperous. Enjoy what you are doing or get really good at following instruction . Hmm, is that so hard ? For slow learners I can run a program!! Katherine

Hi Cerbie Some new girls have asked me my opinion on what kind of ad's get my attention and keep my attention. For me, it is a catchy title. The start of a riddle. The first part of a teasing sentence that makes need to click the ad to see the rest of the ad, or the answer to the joke or riddle :) But once in the ad, the use of colour fonts can be eye catching, but beware some colours such as yellow and lime green are hard on the eyes to read. Once the Ad is opened, sexy beautiful pictures will gain my attention, if I like the pictures, I will then read the ad, How the ad is written will depends on whether I will read more. Some Ad's are well written, with quotes and thoughts, other's are funny. The short simple one sentence ad's won't keep my attention. The ad should contain a good detailed information on the woman, as her height, weight, age and measurements. and the rates and contact info. I know some of websites, but a lot of us use smart phones, and don't like having click to see more pages on the little screen. What catches your attention in an Ad?

I just read this really great article, "In Defense of Faking It." http://www.playboy.com/articles/in-defense-of-faking-it1 Discuss.

I say option of long shirt untucked, but also wear nice boot cut jeans, tight in the thigh. Perhaps you should rub one off before getting there too? lol..

I think I might have to do it just one last time... Now I just have to pick some music and add a few new outfits. Care to join? 613-415-55 * 33

Seems reasonable. The only thing I'd say is... if you're going to fake it, fake it well. If you fake it and your partner knows you've faked it, you've probably got the worst of both worlds. It's like many other things: the problem is not what you do, but what you get caught doing :)

I think that's also known as a Tantric finish.

Auto correct My dad had a minor medical procedure done. He is in his 80's and texts. Sooooo I texted him yesterday ... "How are you doing?" BUT with auto correct and me not paying attention he got ...... "How's your dong ? Ha His reply was "Son you don't need to know that" lol I cryed from laughing.

Maybe this will help a little: http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=147748

Further to what Malika said, I have endometriosis and struggled with heavy, prolonged bleeding. After BCP failed, and an IUD also failed... I bled for THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT!!! I bought my fair share of soft cups and worked anyway. It was no big deal. Should I have stayed home for three months with no income? Thankfully I had an ablation and it was the best decision I ever made. No. More. Period. Lol This is a normal part of life!!!

I didn'T want to comment but I am getting a bit work out about some of the response @Cat as much I enjoy you and your wit and intelligence, I have to disagree with you on the daty aspect. This is one of the reason why I don't only do camming or dancing. I LOVE being eat out and having orgasms. I do it for myself because I am greedy in my orgasms. I have actually refuse to repeat with some people in the past because except for penetrations, they refuse to touch my genitals. I need contact with my clitoris to orgasm...so yes for me it is important for me. About the periods...OP I am sorry this happen. I can imagine how surprising it was for both people As for people saying an SP should take a few days off each time...maybe. Now, this is me getting into my personal life, but roughly two years ago I change from taking Depo Provera (an injection in the butt each 3 months) to regular birth control as compare to DP (eeh DP lol) was screwing my hormones over too much. When switching I've spotted and bleed for almost 7 weeks straight. There is NO WAY in hell could I have taken this much time off in a row, I've use sponges, didn't tell anyone and as far as I am aware no noticed it. Nowadays I don't particuarly bleed much during my periods so I don't work during the most heavy flow day but still from time to time will see people in the 4-5 days that I am spotting. Why? Because I see an average e5 clients A WEEK. If I had to loose 25% of my income, for a maybe small drip of blood, I couldn't afford to keep myself debt free, pay for school and pay for my tattoos addiction. And I guess this is my 0 cents since 0.02$ is rounded down now

I'm finding the recent discussion interesting, and has made me think about a few of my own assumptions. And I think that's what part of the recent discussion is about...what is a reasonable or standard assumption: a) Should (and "should" is a key word) a fellow be able to assume during DATY that a lady isn't on her period? Or... b) Should a guy assume whenever he is going down on a lady that it is possible she is on (or could be about to start) her period? I think this in part is where the discussion has evolved, and is a fair and interesting question. For myself, I'm in the "B" camp. Yes, it may be that a the risks increase if a lady is on her period, but menstruation is also a natural, frequently occurring process. It can't be viewed in the same camp as someone not disclosing an STD. It seems to me that just like someone who partakes in greek has to go in (so to speak) knowing there's always the risk of a bit of mess, those of us who love giving daty must do so knowing it's possible she is about to start her period, or on it and using a sponge. Another way of looking at the issue is this: if it's important for a guy to know whether or not a lady is on her period, is the burden of communication on the lady or the gent? I can see arguments both ways. After all, there's plenty of activities we assume won't happen unless a person communicates about it first. Maybe it's true this falls into that group. I'm not so sure, since the rule of thumb generally seems to be that if you have an issue to something fairly common/natural, then the onus is on the person with the issue to bring it up. And "shoulds" aside, it's clear it could happen regardless, so probably better to assume it's a possibility and go in with one's eyes wide open (or at least wearing goggles). :) Anyway, just some thoughts.

I noticed that. She said earlier that there was someone who was advocating for child sex work, I asked her for proof of the statement and she didn't respond. And then when I noticed your name pop up, I was shocked, because it made no sense. And then when I read into it, I realized what happened. Unfortunately, and I know I'm going somewhat off-topic in my own thread, the antis have a general habit of glancing over facts. I hate to paint an entire group under the same brush, but time and time again, it's been their MO. Not once have I found out just one clear, concise person able to communicate without using the same old shtick of abusers/etc. And that's exactly what happened to you, someone who couldn't be bothered with fact checking made an incredibly outrageous comment, that under many circumstances would be cause for libel.

In the grand scheme of things, they may do that but nobody is paying attention to them and by nobody I mean anyone who is worthwhile and who actually can make that information valuable. They are enclosed in their own little circle of people and if you call it out then that risks drawing more attention to the information. The people who are following both sides of the debate are realizing the gross tactics of the antis and these people include non-sex workers with huge followings and media people. While they may resort to disgusting tactics to achieve their goal of silencing their opponents and while they are in bed (so to speak) with the CPC, they are doing this to themselves. Let them implicate themselves and be their own downfall. I know it's easy to say and harder to actually do... I also suggest blocking the antis before the Senate meetings and don't @ them during or shortly after the meetings. Ps. There is an option to report twitter accounts that post private information. I haven't heard of anyone having any success with these reports but you can also try going that route if the gent or you are worried. It's kind of an annoying process too but it's an option.

If you actually thought it through, you would see that is a tremendous ask. If risk aversion is your goal, you don't perform unprotected daty I'm to assume? As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different. With a bbbj, the risk is carried by the provider and I genuinely believe most who provide it only so so because of the negative financial impact if one doesn't offer it. We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well? Perhaps we should keep photos of our enemas discharges so greek freaks can be assured we prepared to their satisfaction? This is why I have never offered a menu or consent to see clients who demand one. I agree to nothing in advance which leaves me with the option of guiding the session to ensure I only engage in activities I know to be safe with my guests. Not all ladies have that luxury with their client base. Given the feast and famine nature of the business, there are many who can't afford to lose 20-25% of her yearly income. I'd like to see what men would do if they had to take a 25% a year pay hit for a bodily function. Especially when it never coincides with the other things we have to take time off for; like being out of work for a urinary track infection or yeast infection. Which btw is also an almost monthly occurrence for many of us due to our work and we physically can't work thru it. Or any of the other things like the flu and cold epidemics we are exposed to daily that "real" jobs have paid, legislated sick days for which we are not entitled to. The reality is that sex workers have been using sponges for as long as sex workers and sponges have been around. My stance on this is safe play saves. Until you know and trust someone, use barrier protection for all acts that may exchange body fluids. It isn't rocket science, just a piece of rubber and if you don't want to use one, then be prepared for the unexpected...

How is this any different than a man doing DATY and the SP starting her period unexpectedly? Would you react the same way? She didn't know her period was starting (not all women have regular periods, FYI). This has happened before and honestly, no big deal. Mature men recognize that this is a fact of life and don't get all worked up about it and storm out and short a provider the money she's owed. I get the hygiene aspect, I do, but are you seriously trying to tell me this is worse than the cheese dick I've experienced where I had to literally swallow my own vomit to keep going? Let's be real here. One is a hygiene crisis and one is simply a fact of life. This seems to be an offense based on the fact that she didn't tell you she was ragging it. Sorry, none of your business. You're not owed a warning either. How an escort chooses to conduct her business is her business. Not all women can afford to take up to a week off of work. And I've sponged it tons of times in my six years of working. I'm sorry this happened to you, but in the grand scheme of things it's an anomaly.

Yes, let's be honest: we're all here because we love sex and this community revolves around it BUT my point earlier was that for some people, it is not just about sex. This is where the GFE companionship comes in. Your comment about nobody wanting to pay "any of us" just to "hang out" is solely based on your own personal views and feelings and not in the least bit accurate. Not to highjack this thread further, I will not even comment on the "depressing" part of a gentleman seeking companionship...

Hi there, been on Cerb for a bit, but this is my first post. I'm throwing my two cents in here, since the situation that occured is not as the OP described(no, I'm not the one he is talking about). While I wholeheartedly agree that you should inform the client when you are on your period, and allow them to decide whether or not to continue with the appointment. The girl in question was brand spanking new, scared out of her wits since she had never done any sort of escorting before, and to top it all off, she unexpectedly gets her period RIGHT when her client(the OP) is supposed to show up. When the OP found out about the sponge, he was angry, which is not an inappropraite response to have. What is inappropriate, however, is that he yelled at her, took all of the money back, and threw a few twenties in her face while he stormed out. This poor girl was unbelievably upset, especially since this was the first escorting experience she had ever had. Yes, I do believe we should discuss this with the clients ahead of time, I think that's just being respectful to them; but it is not okay to take your money from her, after already spending a significant amount of time, and treating her in such a degrading manner. All-in-all, had she been in the business for a bit, I'd absolutely say she should have known better, but the fact the it was her first day, AND first client, and she was treated so rudely, I'd say let's cut the girl some slack.

Imo, a true gentleman would not bring this onto a board but that's just me despite the fact that you didn't disclose her name. This is something that is a natural occurrence and what if she happened to just get her period at that moment? Would you still treat her the same way? Yes, lots of woman use the sponge while on their period and most of us can't afford to take a week off. I am fortunate not to have long heavy periods anymore. More like 3 days now. Usually during this time I will feel not in good spirits anyways and take time off because I'm not in the mood. However, I've used them and if inserted correctly no one can detect it or blood for that matter. The only way for it to be noticed would be through forceful, painful fingering to the extreme which I don't allow or if not inserted properly. Nothing usually gets past that sponge. Never once did I have this happen to this degree but I did start my period while with a client and I was never treated this way. What happened for this to dislodge like that? If people want to think this is dishonesty then that's their opinion. Will I punish a guy because he just urinated and wants a bj? No I wouldn't embarrass them like that. I would do what's necessary to make sure they are fresh. It is your decision to either stay or leave and you have your opinion about menstural periods but I don't think there was a need for such dramatics. I think this could have been handled a lot better. Did you ever think for one moment how she felt? The word humiliated comes to mind. Perhaps she has no choice but to work during this time and never intended for this to happen. Instead of solely thinking how you think she possibly tricked or betrayed you for cash, think about the other person for a moment. This isn't just any unsatisfactory customer service complaint at a store, restuarant, etc. We're talking about a private intimate transaction between two people and it should be handled delicately. Not so much now.

Prostitution is the world's oldest profession. It is NEVER going away! Are you listening Peter Mackass Uh... I meant Mackay?? Even the Cons need a hot woman every now and then to release them of their uppity, uptight moral values.

Private communication between a SP/Client is OK and at least for me would be respected. But no need to publicly disclose it I could see where regular clients would like to see a special lady, for some gentlemen it's the overall connection/companionship a lady provides more than individual menu items she offers. Also for some it is the menu the lady offers and a client might feel upset that the lady couldn't offer everything. If he had known he could have reschedule their date It's a matter of mutual respect. The lady respecting the man enough to tell him so he can make arrangements knowingly. And the man respecting the lady to understand "life happens" If that makes sense A rambling RG

It's against cerb rules to air your dirty laundry in public. You know full well guys will be pm'ing you to ask who the lady is. Not cool.

There are so many amazing ladies in Ottawa. Good luck with your search... it'll be tough to narrow it down!

Congrats!!!! Enjoy :) xo

Excellent! Congratulations MN2!!! :D

So... reading stuff in this thread, and elsewhere on the interwebs, I've realized that there's another very important point that needs to be made. Yes, today's bill is a slap in the face, a kick in the balls, a punch to the gut, call it what you will. Not unexpected, perhaps... but it hurts, nevertheless. People are saying that the SCC decision in the Bedford case was a Pyrrhic victory; that the Bedford case was a mistake because it has just provoked the government into proposing more draconian legislation. These people are wrong. I'll say that again, because it's important: THESE PEOPLE ARE WRONG. It is never wrong to fight injustice. It is never wrong to fight for a fair deal for those marginalized by society (both sex workers and their clients, in this context). It is never wrong to fight to help those who are vulnerable to exploitation. It is never wrong to fight to give people a better chance at life. The Bedford case was launched many years ago; while it was obvious that it would take a long time for a final verdict, there was no way to predict which party would be in power by the time it was resolved. We've had at least two general elections since it was launched; it's not the fault of anyone who fought and won that battle that the rest of us left Harper et al in power for all that time. And so, yes... now we have a backlash. This is not unexpected. But was it ever reasonable to expect that the path to enlightenment would be free of potholes? That nobody would throw roadblocks in our way? That we could win the war without ever losing a battle or suffering a setback? There's a long way to go. We've seen the government's opening salvo; now it's up to us to return fire. And some version of this bill, be it more or less bad, will probably become law in the not-too-distant future... and that'll be the end of another battle, which we'll have fought on fundamentally unfavourable ground. But after that, there will be legal challenges, and the campaign will once again move to the courts. And once in the courts, the fight will be different. There will be a level playing-field. Each side will have to back up their rhetoric with evidence. Logic will matter. Reality will matter. What can be proven will count. Unverifiable dogma will be dispensed with. And the prohibitionists will do just as well as they did last time around. We'll win. Again. And perhaps by then we'll have a sensible government, or at least one that cares more about the well-being of Canadians than their religious fanatics. Or perhaps the SCC will take the decision from their hands. Who knows? In any event, we're on the right side of history, and we'll get there in the end.

There seems to be a common misunderstanding that massage parlours offering hand jobs/happy endings are not providing prostitution services and therefore are not classified as "common bawdy houses" under the prostitution laws of the Criminal Code of Canada. The following comments illustrate this point of view. "Note however, that in some places (like Ottawa) some massage parlors are licensed by the City and thus have a permit to operate, as long as they only go so far (ie no oral or FS)." "You cannot get "full service" at a massage parlor, that would be illegal." "... to Offer BJ or FS to the gentlemen... this would make the spa a brothel which are clearly illegal..." Since many cities license erotic massage parlours/body rubs, and everyone knows what goes on inside them, it's understandable that this would lead to the mistaken belief that everything is legal. A hand job is a sexual service. Providing sexual services for money is prostitution. Any location where prostitution commonly occurs is a common bawdy house. Therefore massage parlours commonly providing hand jobs... are providing sexual services... and therefore are engaged in prostitution... and therefore the massage parlour is a common bawdy house. There's a legal distinction made between "erotic" services and "sexual" services. (I know, I know... it's a fine line ;-) ) Municipalities can regulate "erotic" services through zoning and licensing. These include strip clubs, adult video stores and massage parlours for example. They can't authorize "bawdy houses" since the Federal Criminal Code of Canada prohibits them. Another way to understand this is that a lower level of government can't adopt laws which are inconsistent with those of a higher level of government. This is a basic principle of constututional law. Therefore a municipal massage parlour license can't authorize a massage parlour to provide sexual services, including hand jobs, because that would make it a "bawdy house" and bawdy houses are illegal under Federal law. As stated in a Library of Parliament Research Publication on prostitution, "... municipalities walk a fine line between federal and municipal/provincial jurisdiction and must be careful not to take any measures that might deal with actual prostitution. Part of this balancing act consists in maintaining the illusion that escort services and massage and adult entertainment parlours are not fronts for prostitution-related activities." As for why massage parlours don't get busted, it's for basically the same reasons that the police look the other way with most indoor prostitution. If you operate discretely and the neighbours aren't disturbed, the police aren't going to go looking for trouble. They've got plenty of other crimes to investigate where there are real victims. This includes prostitution where there is real and obvious harm being done such as underage prostitution, violent pimps, and foreign sex workers who are trapped without their passports. Since it is so rare for police to bust a massage parlour, this gives the impression that they are all legal. But, they do get busted occasionally, so what causes the police to take action in a very few cases and look the other way in the majority of cases? I've attached a few links to news stories about massage parlours that were busted. These were all in inappropriate locations that drew complaints (next to daycares, ground floor of a condo). There are of course other examples of massage parlours being busted. These usually involve foreign women working in massage parlours who are being victimized or under aged girls. It's not my intent to scare either massage attendants or clients with this information. Clearly the vast majority of massage parlours generally operate without any problem. I do however think that we should all be knowledgable about prostitution law (and sexual health information) so that we can assess the risk of our activities. Avoiding massage parlours which are likely to draw complaints from neighbours is a simple step to take. The upcoming Supreme Court of Canada decision on prostitution laws will likely affect the current legal status of massage parlours as bawdy houses. So if you work in or frequent a massage parlour, you should be interested in the outcome of that case. http://metronews.ca/news/calgary/839283/inside-a-calgary-bawdy-house-evidence-of-happenings-at-massage-parlour-found-online/ http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/massage-parlour-busted-in-residential-building-1.1240820 http://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/police-lay-prostitution-charges-at-gatineau-bawdy-house-1.574116 One final point. When massage attendants and clients discuss sexual services/price in the private massage room of a massage parlour this is not considered public solicitation. The private massage room has the same status as a hotel room. It's a private space, not a public space.